Wm, C Glaser
a Haarley,
E. B. HAWLEY & CO.,
1 , 111L!,111:1ZS
THE NITRE DEMOCRAT,
AND GENERAL JOB PRINTERS,
SuNque'hanna County, Pa
111=1
Business Cards
.1 U a. _I IL 3.fr ( L
r Lau (11l ee over the Bank. Sloptrute
if
airese, May Is7l.
1 , W.
irTORNEY AT LA'l ,tar on, LI, Store 01 M.
the 9rick ItiocAc. Woo Crum, Pa. (uul 69
W. W. .5'.11.1771,
NE'T AND CHAIR MANUFACTUIRi•
,f NI nirevt, MohttOst, loug. 1. I,X.
.11. ( .51 . 1 . T0N,
\ lid IN•1:11, 1 ,1:3 AuENT,
ierielld.Vinfr. Pll
1 31 I El, Y,
Add, .nn. lir ookly n. SL
-1 .s.r
lii=
t nvu. KNiiINECII SVIIVITUnt
P. u. niiSn. Fnu.klin Furkr.
bUrioritt•lthn
.lollS Gib rlf.S
L,11,, A tsi.E TAIL...J(, AL onwee, brwir wee/
h a nd! or' ',tore. AI + order. tilled in trot-rata et)IL
, • t - on notice, nod Wll/r1 , 411.cd lu
11 - .1111013
• ..A W. itotitity, boot. itty . Yout.tot.
Rite/Wed to. (.41:cr dr
..told r
❑'. .1. CBOS..k/UN
I •,..1 .1 L.A. MNe at the Court litause, le the
.•r". W A. Choss.oi.
LA (//q7l'E.
A W T, Attorney,. nt Law, 11 the old otncor
~, L.1..M. Li.';l.l W. W. WAte,ON.
'4. eht animas, Pabits, Oils,
-pines, 'Fancy Ooods. J vwvlry,
. 14-tt k bt.a.k. Moto r.-se, Pa. Established
Feb. I, 1873.
.scl)l7/./, 1.*:1111'T.
Ind Sotiotan, In Itankruptcy. 001 re
• 1.;1 rk VL I lit) National Ituul:,
1 N'r. ti t•COVILL.,
1,1:. W. L. BRWAIDSON
PAY lAN A :t I'ILO EON, tender* hip profosaiona
r itizeue of 1100trose and vicinity.-
9, at hien...ler on the corner east of Bain &
[Attu. 1. 186:/.
N7'ODDARD,
er.o It .ols Anti Shoes, flats and Caps. Leather and
street. let door below Boyd's Store.
ardor, and repairing done neatly.
Jan. I Isln.
LE Ills KNoLL,
sil ING AND LAMB DRESSINU.
.14 tz.e
renaw where 14111
uA ,„:Lly , attend all alit) may Want ats)thlng
Moutrure Pa. Uct. lE latl3.
DR. 61' W. LA YTO.A'
• 1011 N it SUISGEMS. tendio , hIS vervicev to
015,15 al tires, Bend and vicinity. Other- at tin
-a, pcs, opposite Barnum Rouen, G't Bend village.
;51,1510 —lt
Dn. 1) .4.
hl.n•rdo TuauxtaL liar a.. a :Jr Foot of
nut ' , tract. Call sad roaeal in al Chronic
H. 111"1;1117'7
Supt., and Fancy Dry Good, Vr.alier), Hard-
Iron. Stur..a. Drug,. Vu., avid I'm 1 tan. Boot+
tad IlatA and Cap, Fore, Buffalo Huber , , tiro
, erica. Prwrialon,
tr.MlDord, I a.. Nov '7l-•tf.
.EXCILLYUE kw TEL
.1, HARRINGTON mehett to inform the pnblic that
1., LW.; ranted the Exchange Hotel to Atonttotte. be
~relbtretl to xreottonottate the traveling publtc
elan, .Iy2e
M,..trere, Auz. 2., 1473.
LITILES et BLAKESLEE
rIVRNEYS AT LAW. have removed to tbeir
eproalLt. Ibe Tarbelt HOW.,
H. B. Ln-rLc.
G.. Lrrrue,
E L. BULLS...XS.
I=l
r,ILLLVUS: , TIIO
ilk: AND 1.11"1: INS . JAANCE ACB:NT. Af
:.u)e , , attended lt) promp‘ly.on DAT terms. Otte'
".:•e, door exit of the hook 0 , \Vim, U. Cooper & Co
M01ar..., Pa. tA0g.1.1869
1 , 7'. 1 BD.Lmee bTII/.0119,
lAN 4 srituEoN. tender.; his protevam.l
the clllzene Alru.ek, l`a 014 e at the
I . flow., wlll attria to all eau. In his prof...
- _ L:LI, he to favored.
B. T. a• E. D. CASE,
Ait Elf S. Usk tiarnee,ll:hl and nritry
-t tanh pri , e, Blunketit, Breast
eterlhinir pertna-alog line,
• r rl-11, the cheapest. /repairing done prompt
ood Ft) le.
l'a , Vet. tt.),
quarrel.
r John Fenwick and Kittle Ravue had
been engaged for sir months. It was a
real love-match, people said. They were
exactly suited for each other, and seemed
to think that no one in tie world was
quite so happy as themselves. I believe
that lovers are apt to cherish rose-colored
opinions of each other, as well as of life.
It was somewhat so with John an Bittio
at first. But of late—within the past
two weeks—a "change bad come o'er the
epiri t o' t heir dream.
Kittis was—or rather had been, con
siderable of a flirt. She was never so hap
py as when she was making some young
wan believe that he was the especial oh
ject of her regard. Her mother lectured
her on the awful wiokednees of flirting,
and warned her of the consequel.eea
which might result from it, but like most
parental, lectures, they fail to make the
impression they were intended to make,
and Kittle iv.mt on flirting with this one
and that one until John Frnwick came.
Then she gave it up, and devoted her
eclf wholly to John ; and this time she
was in earnest. She could'nt have flirted
with John if she bad tried, because she
respected him too much, and then—he
was so good, so handsome, so "nice in
I I every way," she told her mother, that she
did'ot want to. She was sure from the
rest, that he intended to marry her. pro
! tided, of course, that she was willing;
, and Katie was willing,,,and therefore de•
I oided to be sensible and in earnest in this
I De m , phase ut courtship.
tzis months was a long time for Kittle
, Lo keep her flirtingpropmetties in check.
nut she had done it, and congratulated
o
.il.. •-alf on the victor) . * had gained.—
W hy i s . i, that, just asArgni us we think
we have t,'lrselves ande
to tempt us, and oar own control
something c‘.7 11)44 filor*
in a good man; Wel we find that we
are not so much m 4434 1 rs of oursolres, of
i ter all, as we had con lattdslnd ourselves
on being. I don't know why It taut I
am
Slow piyhylvvveil sore. Kittle don't rithe:',- Rat just
I about the time that she began to elame
herself over her sell-conquest, Coln / 4 ' i
I venport came along ; she was introdt:esd
ito bun, and straightway popped the ol,.!,
penchant for flirting from the grave into
i which she bad thrust land took posses
gun of her at once. Somehow it seemed
i to her as if she couldn'. help flitting with
i
I Davenport. hit was andsome and jolly
1 and there was a gam thing about him
I which seem , ' to direher. And she had
1
teen so denture, sa sober sad good, and
('11.11111.7 NORRIS
- 71 LLA ittallt, Ass moved his shop to the
m.imALv g.Sicii.suste t Co., where he la
sil kllatl. 01 x orb in b a• Ma
, ulls. etc. All work dent au short
wYlcue call and gm me.
lit 1 . 1.- , IPLE:J ARK -
T.
I'IIELL/r Ilen.N.Fru: sritt" '
I.'a Boloitt,O SOD
. -5 • to. hest quality, Courtati..Y on Wt.& St
• 1•,. . l& 1br73.-Iv
a •A LLEY HOCSE.
t•ttliraelli Dear Itre Erie Railway PC'
Commuitious house. has undergone
clitir. Newly Inratsned MOMS and fricep
.,lrlerrrillotanies.nadalltldnvizoznpris-
.•• tik.-NliY ACERT,
Proprietor.
DIL A. W. ..".111711,
at Din next dOor north of Dr.
W. old Fotudry rtteet, where he would ha
aii those in want of Dental V% Drlt.
He
, adeut that he an olexae all. boat in quality or
k pm, Office hours trout:l L.lll. LO 4 P.*.
11. 107%k-0.
EDUAIt A. Trltlet,'LL.
i sr 2.. w,
No. ;It, Broadway, tics. - ]fork City.
Ando of Atttirntl Badness, and con
' . - Court. of both the State and !la
If. D.
44.214 an. Ann Alb.
I 1.1%,re11y of of fltio.
vi 3,:lervtat Medic. t 'sittltce. Übe. LLc
.ir vit.t..ll
tulle to hie prutc.,. 14g f t igt Fame
t. tit.n.ford a to.atec. U.
•t , ‘ I t a., A 1.112 . 401.. ISl4..—Gra.
INZEZZ
B C 712 I,s 6. 1 i CL/OLS,
_r; 01 - 11„;e, StelllClttar , LateWitiple
\aredab, Liquors, Spicas.Vll'C)
eaten{ .11edittracr. earrnaner3and
.trerv.rription. narofullY numPnauden- -
I•e k, MOW, Ote Pll. •
V.XN3EI
33acocutoc.
THIS OFFICE, CHEAP•
Try Us.:
-,, ONTROSE DEMOCRAT.
TWO DOLLARS PER YEAR IN ADVANCE.
VOLUME 31
I=l3
--O--
To my yesterday's convictions
Over night a stranger grown.
31)- to-day's the morrow's riddle,
And myself am not my own.
So inconstant and so changeful,
Hour by hour u thing of mood,
Noe• I'm cold, and then Fin heated
Noe• bested In the blood.
Wind and weather beat upon me ;
Often um I tetupest tossed.
Solar-browned and iummer•wtited,
Pinched and stiffened by the frost.
Walking, I am moving merman!
And incumbent, I am log ;
Speaking, I am tunelets trumpet
In my graces, Jumping frog.
To myself I'm very pigmy ;
Ogre to the bird and hat ;
And I'm venisome to the tiger;
Sprawling lodgzir to the rat.
This is a pipe and this a coffin ;
Press the lids and smoulder both ;
Pipe and coffin—fumes and ashes—
Like to things of equal growth.
ITist ! no more beside my chamber
Loving tonne have come to greet,
And my meditations ehattered
'Neuth the tramp of tripping feet
3,11 arrayed in joy and brigntnesa
Comes a noitiy, dancing throng :
And their mother reaches toward me
And dispels my solemn song.
Now they soften one with kiasea,
Quell me witlt their love lit eyes
Futile are my stern endeavors
To be cynical and wise.
MEM=
THE BEAUTIFUL.
--0-
BS EIIILISCS 1SA•8.
-0--
The mission of the Beautiful,
Is not for eyes alone.
It builds within the minor
Its glorious highest throne ;
I wave the ling of victory
Where lalsellcooti is o'er thrown
The graves of the BeauHful,
Abide with holy love ;
And benedictions circle round
Ite mandate from above,
And eagle aspirations wing
Beside the household dove ;
'The heart—bte of the Beautiful
Forever beilds its nest,
Where weary disenchantment brings
The sorrow stricken breast,
Life dwells with peace and holiness,
For friendships loyal breast.
The spirit of it e Beautiful
Forevermore is where
Truth's triumphant songs of victory
Are wrung from soul's deapair,
For sorrows potent Ministry,
Ascends our human prayer.
THE STORY TELLER
A TREASURY ROMANCE
_o_.
BY EBIN E. REXFORD
-0-
Silas Kitt:e Rayne sat on the veranda
and sang, 'Within a mile of Ediutoro'
Town," while Idin Fenwick vat in the
parlor and scowled fiercely at the por
trait of that young lady. hanging over
the mantel, us bright and piquant and
saucy in its expression as the young L.cl_s
herself. But scowling didn't seem td
have much effect on the portrait, anti
his auger had seemed to have about as
much on its original. The truth of
the matter was, there had been a lover's
POETRY.
11001104
MONTROSE, PA.. WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 23, 1874
played propriety for such a long time,
that the prospect of a little fun made her
wickedly happy. She knew that John
would not like it. That people would talk.
That her mother would deliver daily lect
ures- but ter all that, she struck up a
flirtation with Davenport iu a reckless
heedless way, and ne%er ones stopped to
think whet the consequence might be
People began to talk before John men
tioned the subject to her. And she knew
that they had occasion to talk, too but
she kept on, and tried to make hersell
lielieve that she had never been quite so
happy in all her life before. That she did
eupo. herself in a certain way, I have no
doubt, beeline.. iitie asiei fond of rniarbtof
—or doing things to shock pe,ple—of
being dilf..rent Irian other people, and
above all of having her own way, But
she knew, all the while she was doing
wrong. Ll,,s the betrothed wife of aanoth -
sr, she hod no right to redeye Daven
port's attentions. She was nut only
wronging herself, but John also. `John's
such a good-natured fellow that he won't
care," she said. "It he does, I can make
tip with him when I want to. He knows
I don't cure a straw for Davenport."
But John did care, and by-and-by he
spoke to her about It.
"You aren't jealous, I hope ?" she an
swered, gladly. "I never would have
thought that of you, John Fenwick, nev
er'"
"No lam not jealous," had been his
reply. "Perhaps I had good cause for
lealousi, but I am not mraid to trust you
yet. Kline. f think you are thoughtless
and acting from a spirit of girlish mis
chief. If you will only atop and think
about it soberly, I think you will see that
you are wrong, and that most men would
think they had a right to be jealous if
they were in my place. Think of it in
ids real light, Imagine yourself
in my place and I in your's. Would you
like to have me flirting with Miss Pow.-11
or Miss Standish ? I don't believe you
would, Kittle."
-Oh, I shouldn't cure," she laughed
back. "Not the least in the world, John.
Try it, if you want to, It's such fun !"
Tnut wan all thu satisfaction he got
then. By.and•by he touched the subject
again, and they came very near a lover's
quarrel. But John, who haul a horror
of lovers quarrels haul the good sense to
stop before they came to angry words,
and of course Kittle couldn't quarrel
alone.
But now the lover's quarrel had come
in dead earnest. He was not the "good
natured fellow" she had taken him to be
if site thought he could stand everything,
he had told her. And Kittle, passionate
and quick in temper had answered back
in hot stinging words, and for half an
hour there had raged a tempest inside
the parlor. A little lull had come by
Kittte's withdrawal from the scene and
taking up her position on the vereuda
where, fur the sake of showing how little
o w car e d about it, and being provoking,
she sat and sing, -Within a mile of
Edinboro"T•iwn" in a most exasperating
way, as al the sole object she had in life,
at that particidar moment, :was to see
how many runs and trills and other vari
ations she could get into it.
At length he got up and joined her.—
;ihe looked up saucily, a scarlet flush of
hot passion yet allowing in her cheek,.
"I want to come to some understand
tug in the matter," he said. "I will tell
you what I want you to do. Either stop
flitting with Davenport, or
"Or break off my engagement with
von ? Is that it ?" she cried.
"Yes, if you choose to put it •in that
way," he answered gravely. "I have
borne it long enough—as long as I can,
in fact. Everybody is talking about it.
I don't know that you care for him. If
you do, of course it would be far butter
for u■ to understand each other, right
here. If you do not, I have a right to
insist that you end the affair by no longer
receiving or encouraging Davenport's at
tentions.
"You insist I" Kittie's eyes flashed fire.
"You ins st ! have to understand just
one thing, John Fenwick, and that is
this; "You are not my master yet, and
I s h a ll not he dictated to by yon. I shall
not drop Mr. Davenport. because you Dr
ier me to. I shall do just as I please,
about it, sir !" •
“Very well," he answered, pale and
~tern. "you understand what the noose
ysiices will be, then ?"
"I do," she answered, scornfully, "Yon
need not wait fur them, .Mr. Fen wick. I
will give you your freedom row, if you
want it. Here is your ring. Keep it fur
some woman who will allow herself to be
dictated to by you, and who will always
come and go et your royal will. Good
morning, sir."
And then, with scornfully indignant
eyes and a mocking bow, Kittle left him:
and Ant the door in his face. Ho turn
ed slowly and walked away. Kittie,from
behind the curtain of her window, saw
him go.
"The impudent man I" she cried,shaks
lug her fist at him, "to dare to tell me
what I must and must not do teach
hint that do just as I please, for all of l
hint."
But by and by better thoughts came to
her. "I suppose I bare been to blame,"
she said, reluctantly, fur she bated to ac
knowledge it, even to herself. "But be
needn't nave made a fool , of himself by
being jealous of me. Ile might know
that I didn't care anything for Duren
port,hut the men can't see an inch ahead
of their noses. I'll let him think I'm
mad for awhile, and when I think he's
had time to get ashamed of himself, I'll
come around and everything'lt turn out
nicely, i,tn4 be good after that end
not worry the poor fellow any Mere."
Kittie's plan wag good enough, but it
failed to work as she intended it tw.—
When she got ready to take John back
into her good cranes and forgive him, he
was gone and no one knew whereto. The
days slipped by, and Bittie hoped that ho
would come back or write ; but her hope
was a min one. He had taken her at
her word, evidently, mid henceforth they
were to be strangers to each other.
"And I woe the only one to blame,"
sobbed Kittle. "It was all my doings,and
I los'td him! I loved him!
.
lc wails drowsy summers day. The
Devoted to the Interests if our Town and County
softest of white clouds like banks of
down, laypiled above the horizuu, while
overhead there was nothing but blue sky
and sunshine. The wind was languid
with warmth, and seemed to make the
lay mere depressing in it. influence on
brain:an.l.body thus- it would have been
it no breath of air had stirred the droop
ing leaves on the old elm just across the
street. Catherine Rayne sat at her desk in
the treasury Wilding at Washington and
went through with her work iu a sort of
mechanical way. It was hard to keep
her thoughts upon it this sluggish after-
noon, when everything seemed to swoon
for want of ti fresh breath of coolness to
revive it.
She looked at the elm across the street
—at the fur-away glimpses of woods, and
toe peaks of the Maryland hills outlined
hazily against the warm sky, and wished
she could get away from her deck for a
few days and rest. She didn't cure much
where she went to, only that she got
away from her work. For the last few
days it had seemed more like drudgery
to her than ever, because she had not
been as well as usual, perhaps. The long
and intense heat was beginning to tell on
her, and she knew that she was working
too hard. A great change had come in
to bar life since that day when she gave
John Fenwick back his ring. A sudden
calapse of the bank in which their money
was dep o sited left her and her mother
dependent upon their hands for their
bread they must eat and the clothes they
must wear. Site had accepted the change
bravely. It needed some such blow to
bring out the strength of her character.
Sonic young women would have sat down
with weak and helpless hands, and spent
time in moaning over what could not ha
helped, willing to eat the bread of de
pendence rather to do as Oatherin• Rayne
did. But there was too much independ
ence, too much womanliness in her make
up. to permit her to sit down weakly and
accept from others what she knew she
could earn herself.
A friend in Washington had procured
her a clerkship in the Treasury Depart
ment, and she bad come hither to lire,
bringing her mother, who was an invalid
a greater share of the time. What she
earned at her desk was sufficient to keep
them comfortably, and she felt that that
wean good deal to be thankful for. Cacti -
arine was veil different now from the
Kittle Revue that John Fenwick bad
known. She had grown to be a grave
and thoughtful woman. The years had
come and gone, and now abs was thirty
tive, with a few silvery threads beginning
to show in her beautiful brown hair, and
lines of care about her mouth. This
summer afternoon there were lines of
Wearilit,is too.
In all these years not oue word had
ever come to her from John Fenwick,
nor of him. Fur all she knew of him he
might be dead. Dead ! she thought of
that in a strange, wondering way, as we
puzzle ourselves over the dreams we can
not comprehend. Dead--Johu dead ?
It might be, and yet she could'nt hardly
believe it. It had always seemed as if he
would come back sometime. She had
never forgot the bitter lesson she had
learned herself. Loving him as she had
done, with all the strength of her nature,
she had felt what it was to love and loose;
and to loose in the way she had lost is
the saddest way in which loss can come
to any of us. Ever since they had known
her in the Treasury Department she had
carried be patient look of sorrow in her
face. But it was not the look of morbid
sorrow. She had a cheerful look for ev
eryone and a kind and bracing word for
those who needed it.
"I am sure there must be some ro..
manes clinging to Miss Rayne," declared
Susie Vernon. "She looks as if there
might._ I wish I knew."
But Catharine never took any one into
her confidence enough to tell them about
the romance which had brightened up
her life w a year gone by and which she
had crushed out of it with her own ruth•
less hands.
"How tired and worn out she is look
ing to-duc," whiepered Susie to her neigh
bor. She has been too busy lately.'
There was a sound of voices at the
door, and one of. the Treasury officers
came in with a gentleman. Visitors wore
nothing unusual, and t a one gave them
more than a glance or two, as they en
tered. The work went on again in its
systematic way. Catharine did not look
up ; no out ever came to see her, and she
did not care who it was—some one on a
tour of inspection through the different
departments, most likely. Eat she be
came aware, all ut once by some subtle
influence, that some one was looking ut
her intently, and looking up, sheave a
A
little cry that was almost a sob. sud
den light made her ayes brighter than
they had ben for a long time, and then
diet out, leaving her white, and cep and
faint.
"Kittie r it was John Fenwick's voice
that spoke, in a glad, woaderiug way. It
was John Fenwick'e hand Outotrutehed
in welcome. She took it, silently, and
gale a swift glance into hie fate, as hop
tug, and yet doubting. Everytklug that
the saw there made her heart beatstrange,
ly fast.
"Kittie, is it really you, and kere ?" he
asked, as if hardly comprehending it all.
"ffiveu't you a kind word for a fellow
who has been gone so ton ?"
"I am glad to see you, J ohn, " she said
eimply,and then broke down in a sudden
6t of weeping, and sobbed as a child
might have done.
John Feuwick's face was grave and
tender as he heist down and lifted her
head from her leak. "I have thought of
you all these years as eau who was dead
to me," he said softly. "But I have uov
er, never ceased to love you. Ali"
Kittie, can it be that you care for cue
little yet ?"
"I never cared for any one else." she
Ovid brokenly. "I was wicked ; I saw it
all afterward, when it was WO late."
"See here," he said, very gently, and
she looked up and saw the ring be had
given her so long age. "Shall I give it
wok to you ?" be tweed. "I have bad _
hue ly life. If you would wear it, Kit
to"
She held out her hand, and them wee
a look of utter happiness in her face uow
Its weariness was all gone. He slipped
th• yellow circlet ou her finger, and then
and there, before. the wondering eyes o:
many lookers on, bent down and kissed
her
And Susie Vernon knee then that
there bud been a romance in Miss Rayne's
life, and felt that this was the happiest
part at all.
The Berl hewing' Machine
There was Hubbard. He drove up to
the door, unloaded a sewing machine,—
and said if we wanted a machine which
would du all kinds of work, run easily,
hem, tuck. milk, gather, and be a thing
of joy r,m,ver 1.44 forty days more, we
shouldn't fail to buy u.. "Lightning
Slinger." I bought it, and when ant., .
weak, he wanted a certificate, I cheerfully
wrote oue :
"This is to certify that I have bad a
`Lightning Slinger' in my house for some
time past, and I wouldn't be without it
for twice it cost. It hadn't been in my
house hall a day before my son recovered
from the whooping cough, and my wife
found a tru dollar bill on the sidewalk,. I
think it the best machine ever made—l
can't bear to go to bed and leave it."
He said he was ever so merry times
obliged, and be hadn't got out of sight
before Kilroy drove up with the "Thunder
Si; Blazes" machine. He began to snuff'
at the other machine; said we'd be terri•
bly humbugged, and that his machine
was the only first-class machine in the
mark, t.
My wife began to cry, and lie soothed
her by offering to trade his machine for
the other,which be could 8911 for old iron,
and $3O to boot. We made the trade.—
lie said the "Thunder & Blazes" would
make any kind of a stitch, sew any kind
of fabric, and outrun anything but a
lasumotive. Ho came around the next
week with a certificate all written out
and I signed it:
This is to certify that I have gained
ten pounds of flesh per day since pur
chasing your machine, and that my wife
hadn't run it half an hoar when her un
cle died and left her two hundred thou
sand dollars. Not one of the children
has had cold since the day the "Thun
der & Blazes" came through the gate.—
It plays easily, the strings are not liable
to snap, the sops are easy to manage;
and it is the only machine in the world
which can be operated by a red-haired
woman with a cork leg. 1 can stay out
until eleven o'clock at night now, and
my wile hasn't a word to say. Formerly
she used up four rolling-pins, costing two
shillings each, per week.
Theo McNanue came. I told him tliat
I had the best machine in the market,
and he asked to look at it. He hadn't
fairly got hie eyes on the "Thunder &
Blazes" before he cumtuenced to laugh.
"1.10-ho-ho!" he shouted, as he drop
ped on a chair—"it will kill me—did you
erer—oh ! ho-ho !"
1 sternly asked the cause of his hilari•
ty, and he replied that Kilroy had swin
dled us—taken us in—cheated us stone
blind. The Thunder & Blazes wasn't
worth a dum, he said—was an old ma
chine invented by a blind man and pat
ented by a foul.
My wife began to weep.
"But," said Mt.Nanus, "there is my
machine, the "Chained Earthquake." It
was th• machine, and all others were base
imitations. Ws might try it, and if we
didn't like it tie would cut his throat
with a bricksaw." We tried it, and then
when became with his certificate I sign
ed it :
"That is to certify that your sewing
machine has saved me ten per cent. in
fuel and twenty per cent. in hay and
corn since my purchase. I licked the
laddlermati, pulled a schoolmaster's nose,
and kicked a member of the legislature
the second day atter we got the machine,
and we hadn't had it a week when I
found.where I could get trusted for dour
and wood, and aiscovered a meat shop
unlocked. It will sew anything, front a
leg of mutton to a New Hampshire moun
tain. There hasn't been a cloudy day
since the machine started, and the moon
now rises two hours earlier and lasts all
night. No one ahouid be without it."
He took the certiticsts with a trium•
pliant smile, and—
Bat I must leave cif here. Farnsworth
has just called with "The Five Jeweled
Duplex High Low" machine—the only
lea•ling machine in market, and he is
telling my wife how we got swindled by
Madam IS&
Perfectly Heckles,
There was au old couple at the Celt
tral depot yesterday waiting to go through
to tue \Vest, and they !seemed loving
enough until the old U:11141 . went out and
came back smoking a live cent cigar and
with hie hat a lantnig over his lett ear.—
The wife looked at him twice before she
could recognize hint, and then opened
her mouth and said : "What'd I tell ye,
Philetus Remington, before we left New
Jerse•y.? Didn't I tell you yo'd go and
make a fool of yourself the first chance
you got ?" He tried to pacify her by
saying that the cigar only cost five cents.
but she shouted ; "You teased and teased
terl I let you get your hoots blacked; then
you wanted some soda water; then you
bought apples on the train, and here's
another five cents thrown away ! It all
counts up, and if you don't die in the
poor-house than my name ain't Sarah."
—Delrois Free Prem.
A Burlington man and his wile visited
a sada fouutaia. Ile Baia he would take
`crusade" syrup in: his. Much to hie
horror his wile said that she would also
try "crusade." But the ill uggist knew
hie buisuees, and the woman winced un•
der the tortures of hot ginger. Her hus
band was saved.
A district schoolmaster is sae of the
•upper counties iu Michigau, was asked
what algebra be preferred, and he replied
"Oh, I ain't particular; most any kind
that will just peel tae hide when you
strike."
Sgeond Auventists now say January
1991. Thoughtful eclairs will put
in their diaries.
FIFTY CTS. EXTRA IF NOT IN ADVANCE
MISCELLANEOUS READING.
THE liiEA-FOG.
Upon the cliffs steep edge I stand ;
The moaning sea I bear :
But gray mists bang o'er sea and land,
The mists that sailors feat.
The lichened rocks, the mosses red,
With silver drops are sown ;
Each crimson fox-glove hangs lin head
Amid the old gray atone.
The tearful rock within the bay.
Where pilau% ships go down;
Shows but a faint white line of •pray,
A glimmering mass of brown.
A broken boat, a spot of black,
Is tossed on sullen waves,
Their crests all dark with rifted wrack,
'v..e spoil of Gee= eaves.
Now sails my love today;
Heaven shield his boat from harm I
Heaven keep him from the dangerous bay
Till winds and waves be calm I
Oh, would be set beside our stove,
Where mother turns her wheel ;
I know too soon, for you, my love,
What wit, - es of sailors feel.
Oh! that within the wood-fire's glow
Ile told as tales of yore,
Of perils over long ago,
And ventures come to shore.
Ells hand belike is on the helm ;
The fug has hid the foam ;
The surf that shall his boat o'erwhelm,
He thinks the beach at home.
He sees a lamp amid the dark,
He thinks our pane alight ;
And happily on some storm-bound bark,
Ho founders In the night.
Now God be with yon ; lie who gavo
Our constant loye and troth ;
Where'er your oar may dip the wave,
You bear the hearts of both.
Through storm and mist God keep my love,
That I may hear once more
Your boat uppn the shingled cove,
Your 'step upon the shore.
A Human Small In Solid Rock
A very strange discovery, interesting to
geologists, is reported by the Osage Mis
sion (Kansas) Journal. A human skull
was recently found near that place, im
bedded iu a solid rock which was broken
open by blasting. Dr. Weirly, of Osage
Missiou,compared it with a modern skull
wnich he had iu his office, and found
that, though it resembled the latter in
general shape, it was an inch and a quar
ter larger in greatest diameter, and much
better developed in some other particu
lars. 1L says of th. relic : "It is that
of the cranium of the human species, of
large size, imbedded in conglomerate
rock of the tertiary class, and found sev
eral leet below the surface. Parts of the
frontal, parietalAwd occipital bones were
carried away by the explosion. The
piece of rock holding the remains weighs
some forty or fifty pounds, with many
impressions of marine shells,and through
it runs a vein of quartz, or within the
cranium crystallized organic matter, and
by the aid of a microscope, presents a
beautiful appearance." Neither Lyell nor
Hugh Miller, it is stated, nor any of the
rest of the subterranean explorers,reports
anything so remarkable as this discovery
at Osage Mission. The Neauder man
comes the nearest o it, but the Neander
thal bones were found in loam only two
or three feet below the surface, whereas
this Kansas skull was discovered in solid
rock.
All the ingredients of corn, according
to Leconte, may be utilized. The grain
is, in the first place, to be saturated with
a solution of caustic soda in large cisterns
and transferred to cylindrical sieves ;
then dipped in water, and ground in
connection with is continuous stream of
pure, or somewhat caustic water. The
quantity of soda, depending on its quali
ty, the oily contents of the grain, and
the temperature, should be.sacli as to sa
ponify the oil of the grain while allowing
the starch to appear solid and firm. The
liquid as it leaves the mill, passes over
seiges, on which the germs, hulls, etc.,
are retained, trifle the starch and soap
pass through, and flow over large, inclin
ed surfaces, upon which the starch settles
and the dilute soap solution collects in
cisterns. The starch is then washed with
pure water in cisterns, again passed
through sieves into cisterns, allowed to
settle twenty-four hours and, after draw
ing off.the supernatant liquid, removed
and dried. Excellent soap may be .ob
tamped from the dilute solution, and the
germs, etc.. can be utilized in paper man
ufacture.
The. London Medical Record says : I
"Upon the average, buys at birth weigh a
little more and girls a little less than six
and a half pounds. For the first nine
years the two sexes continue nearly equal
in weight, but beyond that time males
acquire a decided preponderance. Thus,
young men of twenty average about 143
pounds each, while the young women of
twenty average 120 pounds. Men reach
their heaviest bulk ut about tbirty-fir - -,
when they average about 152 pounds,
women slowly increase in weight until
fifty, when their average is about 128
pounds. Taking men and wothen togeth
er, their weight at full growth averages
about twenty times as heavy as they were
on the first day of their existence. Men
range from 108 pounds to 220 pounds,
I and women from 8B pounds to 208
pounds.
A Cairo girl has just rejected a suitor
because his arm wasn't long enough - to
go around her. She says if she is going
to have a lover at all she means to have a
good fit.
A Pennsylvania' boy got so homesick
that he walked seventy-eight miles, with
out eating, in order to sit down once more
at the family hearth-stone. He was re
ceived with much warmth by his male
parent that it was several days before he
could sit down anywhere.
Paterual aore6..-.The old mates corns.
TILE MONTROSE DEMOCRAT
Contains all tba Loosload GencralbleWS,Pootry,Stia.
rie., Anecdotes. Mlsecilaneous tteadtag,Correapead•
once, and a rellablo date of advettlOoments.
Ono sconce, (!z °ran inch space,)3 weskit, Or Ink $1
I month. ¢1.25; 3 months, $2.00; 6 mont h s, el.so;
year. 0.60. A Liberal 'discount on advertisememla 01 a
greater length. llnsinms Locals, 10 et.. a iins for Cllt
insertion, and Oct.. a line each oubee Tien t utsertto.n....
31.uriages and deaths, tree; obituaries. 10 eta. a 11x1.3
NUMBER 38.
John McDonough, the millionaire of
New Orleans, has engrayed upon la
tomb a . series of maxims prescribed as
the rule for his guidance through life, to
which his success in - business is mainly
attributed. They contain so much Isis•
dual that wo copy them :
Remember always that lobo: is one •
the conditions of our existance. Time lig
gold ; throw not ono minute away, but
place each one to account.
Do unto all men as you would be done
by.
Never put off till to-morrow what you
can do to-day,
Never bid - another do what yon can do
yourself. -
Never covet what is not your own.
Never think any matter so trilling as
not to deserve notice.
Never give out that which does not
first come in.
Never spend but to produce.
Let the greatest order regulate the
raneactione of your life.
Study, in your course of life, to do the
greatest amount of good.
Deprive yourself of nothing necemry
to your comfort, but live in an honorable
simplicity.
Labor then to tho last moment of your
existence.
Pursue strictly the above rules, and the
Divine blessings and riches will flow up
on you to your heart's content; but,flrat
of all, remember that the Chief and great
duty of your life should be to tend, by all
means in your power, to the honor and
glory of the Divine Creator. Without
temperance there is no health ; without
virtue, no order; without religion, no
happiness ; the aim of our being should
be to live wisely, soberly aud righteous
ly.
BuruirrilliTe Candle 01 LIE., at Both
The deadliest foe to man's longevity is
in an unnatural and unreasonable excite
ment. Every man is born with a certain
stocs'of vitality,which cannot be increas
ed, but which may be expended or hus
banded rapidly, as he deems best. With
in certain limits he has his choice, to live
fast or slow, to live abstemiously or in
tensely, to draw his little , amount of life
over a large space, or condense it into a
narrow one ; but when his stock is ex•
hausted he has no more. He who lives
abstemiously, who avoids all stimulants',
%vitt) takes light esereise, never overtasks
himself,indulges no ni exhausfingpassion,
reeds his mind and heart on no exciting
material, has no debilitating pleasure,lets
nothing ruffle his temper, keeps his ac
counts with God and man duly squared
up, is sure, burring accidents, to spin out
his life to the strongest limit which it is
possible to attain, while he who intensely
feeds on high seasoned food, whether
material, or mental, fatigues his body or
brain by hard labor, exposes himself to
inflammatory disease, seeks continual ex
excitemect, gives loose rein to his pas
sion, frets ut every trouble, (Ltd enjoys!
little repose, is burning the candle at
both ends, and is sure to shorten his
days.
People often speak of false hair. We
do not fancy it. Braid it, curl, crimp it,
friz it, do it up as you may ; it is always
a hair's breadth from the true thing. But
•b;eotionabla as false hair is,there is some
thing much worse ; and that is a false
heart. He who carries a false heart,
bears within himself a heavy burden.—
He is an enemy to others, - but he is a
worse enemy to himself. He betrays eth
ers, but betrays himself more deeply.—
He may injure another temporarily and
slightly his injures himself permanently
and with all who know him.
But, after alt, people are true , or false
more from the promptinge of instinct
than from uu' reasoning on the Wan
tape of the one, or the disadvantage of
the other. The serpent stings the bosom
that warms him, because he is a serpent
On the other hand, the little untutored
child who took off his own coat and
spread it over his ,still younger brother
when the two were perishing together of
cold in the woods, was prompted by no
reason iug —by no consideration of advan
tages to himself—but by the irresistible
influence of a true ana noble heart.—
Such oxamples,though rare, are sufficient
to make the whole of this dark world
brighter.
Some people never make any acquain
tances, but shut themselves up from their
kind as does an oyster in his shell while
others—and by far the happier, are never
at a loss for cheerful companionship. It
is not hard to make acquaintances if we
set about it in the right way; but it is
useless to bang back and wait every door
to be opened ; we mutt push them OUP
selves. Said a lady to us the other day,
"I never make acquaintances iu traveling
I wish I could." Said another. "I get
acquainteu with everybody. I talk to the
woman, who sweeps the ferry boats, and
to any decent person who happens to sit
by me in the cars. I find everybody hu
man, and I can learn something that I
didn't know before from every new rai
-1 quaintance, or communicate informa
tion that may be valuable to her." We
are most of us too apt to stand on our
dignity and wait for advances from oth
ers ; to here a captious disposition, and
criticise where we should commend. Thu
cultivation of a genial, charitable,beneva , N
lent spirit will not injure us and will
greatly benefit the community in which
we live, and add constantly to the num
ber of our trieuds.
Is PtszuuTXD 292111 WEDXXIIVAT YOICOIXII,
Advertising Rates:
Good Rules fur Guidance.
False Hearts.
Our Social Life.
It will be acknowledged even hy those
who practice it not, that clear and round
dealing is the honor of a man's nature,
and that mixture of fals-lood is . like al
loy in coin of gold and silver, which may
make the metal work the better, but it
debaseth it.
A perfvotly uuturul nima is generalisi
perieutly Loncit urle.