FARM• AND HOUSEHOLD- 3C I•Drlving Oxen. I never had any trouble driving oxen, though I knew a man who'd as soon try to drive lions, as to pick up the whip,and nudertake to "hail Bock," and "gee Btight." Always commence right with oxen. They don't appear tender hearted, and don't seem to the casual observer to be longing for sympathy, but oxen have feeling which must be consulted. If you want to yoke up your oxen, take the yoke on Tour shoulder and gently approach the atarboard oz. if he moves away, throw ing his heels in the air, turn about and approach the other, for iu the long run it doesn't make a cent's worth of difference hielrox is yoked up first, though there are asp who always pull on the left boot first, and would persist in it if the house was on fire. If the larboad ox rune away, don't throw the yoke at him, and jump up an d howl. You can't throw the yoke over twenty rods at the most, and the chances are you wont hit him. Take the yoke on your back and saunter across the pasture towards the first or. Approach him us if you didn't care a cent whether you got the yoke on him or not. Let your face wear a smile, and whistle some careless air. If he shows a disposition to run a way. don't go to howling : "Whoa there—hold on —l'il kill you— blast your eyes—hold on :" Keep up your indifferent demeanor and hi about one hour and a half you can put your hand on the ox. Rub his back and speak encouraging words ro him, pod let him see that you are his true friend. In a littlertime you can put the yoke on him, and then start off after the other ox on the far side of the field. If lie makes a bolt for the barn, preserve your careless air,and above all, don't pound the ox you Lave already secured. By persistent ex ercise-of patience, you can get the pair yoked up and ready for business by ten o'clock, if you commenced early enough. Don't chain em to a stump and maul 'em with a rail after you have them in your power; seek to conquer them by love rather than force, Few farmers know how to draw out the full strength of a 1 air of oxen on a dead pull. They set the team off with a poll, kick one, pound the other scream at both, jump over the log and hoop„and the result is that the bovines jerkletd jump and waist their strength. The right way is to send them off gentle. Preterid that you are unhitching the chain to go home, and you don't know how much this will encourage them. When the chain is sant, and the oxen are ready to pull give them a kind word, tell them their motto should be "Excelsior," and that England expects every man to do his duty. 800 throw rocks at them. An experience of foi tv odd years has convinced me that nothing will discour age an ox so quick as to hurl a stone quarry at him when he is doing his level best to accomodate you. {{ln driving oxen before a wagon, do not cam a bean pole with a brad-awl fasten ed into the end. The ox ie not as swift on foot as the antalope or gazelle, and they shouldn't be galloped ovor ten miles without a rest. There is nothing so good to rule the brute creation as kindness. The true farmer will, if necessary, sit up all nignt with a pair of wild oxen, giving them kind advice explaining matters, and rub bing their spinal columns with a cob to bring out their gentle natures and win their confidence and osteem. Illanaglag Small Fruits If the currents are more than a year old, cut the tops all off close to the roots. With grapes, if the top is of the previous year's growth, and has bads near the roots, leave one cr two. If not of last year's growth, cut it all away.— The top of raspberries should be all re moved. Then, when the roots gets their machinery at work, they will send up canes that will fruit well the next season. But if the top is left on it will require all the energy of the roots to support it, and if the plants does not die the first winter it will be feeble and sickly the next sum mer, an er along year after year un til p condemns the variety and throws them away in disgust. Last spring I filled au order for raspberries, and before seeding them I cut the tops back to two feet, and came near having them returned for doing so. I told the dealer that they should be all cut off when planted out. He said he knew that very well, but his customers did not; they would hare plants that would bear the first year, and it was the top that sold them, Lot the roots. But my advice is, see that you get good roots without any regard to tops. Dogs and Balky glories. -0- A correspondentatends the following: "Having read sundry canine sketches which were very entertaining.' thought I would send on?. which, strange as it may seem, is no fiction: A farmer in Indana had a large dog, well stricken in years, which would not permit his master to chastise a baulky horse or ox without his active aid. The farmer owned three of the former aid two of the latter, which this dog had cured of their vices by bit ing their heels. The simplicity of .the remed'y was apparent to me at a glance, for whoever knew horses or cattle that ever failed to run from a dog that bit them in the rear? Since learning. the above, I have had two opportunities of testing the dog logic of whipping balky animals, near or on the rear fetlock joint which, to my surprise, was-quite success ful" To Make Hard Soap. —o-- Pour four ge.llons of Boiling water on six pounds of washing soda (sal-soda) .and three pounds of nuslacked lime, Stir the mixture well, and let it settle _ until it Is perfectly clear. It is better to /et it stand over night, as it takes some „time for the sediment to settle. When Mear,strain the water, put six pounds of lot with it, and boil for two hours, stiring it most of the time. If it does not seem thin enough, put another gallon of water on the grounds, stir and draw off, and .add as much as is wanted to the boiling mixture. Its thickness can be tried by occasionally putting a little on a plate -to cool. Stir In a handful of salt just before taking it off the fire. Have a tub „ready soaked, to prevent the soap from sticking; pour it in and let it settle until solid, when you will have from the a buse ingrAience 11.13cnt 40 pounds of HUMOROUS' The Boa Constrictor. . Here is the speech that Mr. Barnum is supposed to have made when he Brat went ito the showman's business, and was ex aibitang the Boa Constrictor. It is wor thy of the distinguished showman : "John, undo his tail. There, ladies and gentlemen,is the wonderful boy construc tor, so called because he constructs many pleasing images with his serpentile form. The constructor is a long animal, as you will perceive, and is very long lived. He lives a hundred years or more, if he don't die beforehand. He is of the wormy species, and worms himself along the ground without legs. He is capable of climbing the highest trees, in which he is fond of concealing himself in the branches thereof, that he may impose up- On the benighted traveler or other beasts, whereby to assatiate his hunger. He mashes his vittles before he eats 'em, and and then swallows 'em head first. The sea-serpant is much larger, yet 1 think the boy constructor could lick him; for lie is full of pluck. Prick h im, John, and make him hiss. When he hisses he is very angry, and cares very little what be comes of him. This is because he is weak-minded, and has a small head. He has, however, a very large belly,and when it is lull, he is good . natured. He has a lovely skin, but is very ugly tempered.— He is very sulky and lazy, rnd he is so spiteful, it is a mercy he can't talk. I have took care of this mighty snake for three years, but he shows no gratitude.— lie is a glutton and likes to stuff himself, and then go to sleep. If John data stir him, (stir him again, John!) he would never wake np, except to his victuals. I don't know's I ought to blame him though ; because nature is natnre,wheth er iu Boston or the rude valleys of Ben gal. I have an uncle who has lived in .Bengal, and a brother who has never been there. 31v uncle tells me he has seen ten thousand toy constructors at one time, a frolicking in the forest, and eating each other up. My brother does not believe it, but then he has not seen it. My un cle may be depended upon. He was a ship-captain once, and sold rum and su gar to the Injuns. He is the only man in the world who ever sold liquor to the boy constructor. This is the one he gave it to. He first got him tight, and then boxed him up. The boy will never forgive him." An Old lady Astonished. ——o— Mr. 8., a well known Metropolitan printer, mentions that on one occasion an old woman from the country came into th< printing office with an old Bible in her hand. "I want," said she, "that you should print it over again. It's getting a little blurred,sort of, and my eyes is not what they was. How much do you az ?" "Fifty cents." "Can you have it done in half an hour? Wish you would—want to be getting home. I live a good way out of town." When the old lady went out, he sent around to the office of the American Ibln Bocsrtj and purchased a copy for fifty cents. "Lor sakes a massar exclaimed the old lady when she came to look at it, "bow good you have fixed it! I never see noth ing so curious as you printers is." Yon Wants to be Married —o— A good story is told of an old Dutch farmer, who has just arrived at the dig nity of Justice of the Peace,ondertook to niarry a couple who came to him for the purpose. "Veil you loves din woman as goot as any you ever see ?" "Yes," answered the man. "Then to the woman.— "Veil do you love this man as better as no man you never see ?" LMy hesitated, and he repeated.— "Veil, veil, do you likes him as well as to be his wife r "0, certainly,' she answered, with a kind of titter. "Pell, that is all any reasonable man can expect So you are mariet. I pro nounce you man and wife." The man then asked the Justice what was to-pay. "0 nothing at all—nothing at all— yon welcome to it if it will do you any good." An Evansville man has proved himself a satirist, though probably at the time he uttered the words which have since made him famous he was nnconcious of the stirring sarcasm contained in the few syllables referring to a prominent feature of American life. He had fallen into a ditch in the outskirts of the town in such a manner that he was unable to extricate himself. A kind-hearted pedestrian helped him to his feet, and after the thing had been acomplished, our hero said : right—hic—l'll vote for you?' The stran ger looked at him doubtfully, and wished to know what for. "Wha office ye run nio' for ?" "I ?" None at all," was the answer. ;Not a candidate ?.' "No ; why?' "Why—hie—why ? 'Cease I don't know as any man'd —hie—help another as you did 'thout hemp' a candidate :" At a recent convention of clergy was proposed, afterflinner, that each should in turn entertain the company with some interesting remarks. Amocg the rest, one drew upon his fancyand related a dream. —ln Ins dream he went to heaven, and described the golden streets, dc. As he concluded, one of the divines, who was somekshat noted for his penurious habits, inquired,jocosely: "Well, 'did you see anything of me in your dream ?" "Yes I did." "indeed what was I doing ?" "You were on your knees." "Praying, was I ?,' "No—aeraping up gold !" Jack's Bet. ---0--- A Georgia negro was riding a mule along and came to a bridge, when the mule stopped. "I'll bet you a quarter," mid Jack, "I'll make you go ober die bridge," and with that struck the mule over the bead, which made him nod gad denly. "You take de bet den," said the negro, and contrived to get the stubborn mule over the bridge. "I won dat quar ter anyhow," said Jack. "But how will you get the money ?" asked a man who had been close by, un perceived. "To-morrow," said Jack, "mans gib me a dollar to get corn for the mule, and I take a quarter out," The W, st%rn Penitentiary was built iftyfiie ymare ago. A warren letter to the Eric Dispatch contains the following : "A youthful couple changed from the P. and E. to the D. A. V. and P. care at Irsineton, Thursday, whose ages were 206 years. These juveniles were married 75 years ago. The wife could not walk without the aid of two persons, but the husband. although two years the oldest, con ld manage to walk with the aid of one. Fifteen thousand tickets for negro em• igrants hare recently been taken on the railroads runnlog month and west from Mongomery, Ala. The african is that locality is a color somewhat inclined to run, as the washerwomen lays. A certain farmer, having company at dinner, was ambitious to make it appear that he was somebody. Addressing his boy, he said : 'Have you• driven those sheep in ?"Yes, sir.' Are you sure you drove them all in ?"Yes sir ; I saw him over the bars.' He