THE ... MONTROSE ' DEVIOCRAT
E. B HAW LEY & Co., -Proprietors.
VOLUME 30.
THE DEMOCRAT
Is Published Every Wednesday Morning
By E. B. Hawley & Co.
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13LANK8:—Deetls, C.nsta
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Business Cards
J. B. & .ifeCO L Crif,
ATTMIINSTS ar Law 001 re over the Bank, Montrose
tf
Pa. Montrose. May 10, 10.71.
D. Tr SEARLA
.ATTORNEY AT LAW. office over the Store of M.
Demmer. In the Brick Block. Montrose, Ps. [nal fig
W. W. SMITH,
CABINET AND CHAIR lIANUFACTDRERIA—Paw
r Math Weal, Matthew. Pa. laug. 1. 1819.
,v. r. SUTTON,
♦CCTIONEEIt,and Immaases
.1691 f Prlcadarille, Pa
AMI EL 1",
UNITET) STATES AUCTIONEER.
Address, Brooklyn. Ps
EMBED
J. SAUTTEIi,
.AIIIIIONABLE TAILOR. Shot, over J. FL DeWltt's
'tore.
ll•stross Feb. 19th
NEW TAILOR.
sbop over Dean•'• Book Store. next to tbe printortice.
Work dime in the bed vryle. Give men trial.
Montome, Dot.. 15 , PrZ.l 4m UR°. U. WALKER.
JOILV GROVES,
aSIIIONABLE T ./Ft. Moutn.e, P.. Shop o•er
Chandler's Store. AS ..'dews tilled In Graz- rate style.
.t t in& done on short notten. and warranted to tit.
A. 0. WA RREX
TTORNEY A LAW. Sount), Sack Pay. Senitiou
and Enean • on Claim *needed to. Of!lre Ur
.nor below Boyd'. Store. /Notitrove.l....
W. A. CROSS3/OS,
Attorney et Law. °eke at the Court none , . to the
Coal easeslonere (Mc*. V A. Cutesexon.
Monte., Sew eth.
Me !UM. & CO.
°oiler. In Dry Goodil, lllothlng, ladles and Dieser
One Shoes. 4.1a0, azeuta for the treat Amerlran
Tea marl Coffee Company. Oloncroae. Jul) 17. 172.1
DR. W. W. SMITH,
.19sarner. !townie at hie threllinx, next door cart of the
Repnblttan printtug drake. Odlrt: fr..rn 9A. N.
10 4 P. L M..y . 1. 19:1—tf
LA W UFFICF,.
YMCA & WATSON. Att..meyo. at taw. at the old otter
of Bentleys Fitch, Ntontrooe, P.
L. r. blau. 11. w. W. ',Tn..
AIJEL ruunELL
Drell, In Druz., Paint,. Oils.
Dye y•. Fehr. Je.t e'ry, Per
ta.tlery. Sc. , Driek Mock, Mnntr. ee, Ye. E-tatotehrd
Is 4 [Feb. 1,
SCOVILL DEWITT
At! tt I.ns - sud inliuitdrA In Ilsn'sru„dry. ()Mrs
N 411 , 2rk , tr,ct I Ully Nat IL,••L.
•n, N 5. n II htlArll.l.,
Jane !Stn. IsIA. J LJWIC LIEMITT.
Lit W. L. RICILIRDS(.O,
PAITNICIAN troolo, profew.lohn
servieev to the cltatene of lionttote anal vsvtalt).—
°Mee •I hier.sidouce, tto the corner mot of Set,. &
Bros. rouudry. rA.X' 1 • IRE&
CHARLES N. STODDARD,
)ester' n iloal• and Sans, ital. and Cape. Leather and
Findings, gals street. ist doer below tlyd's Store.
Wsrt arsde t , l art,. add repairing done neatly.
Yoe truce. Jan. 1
LEWIS KNOLL
BRAVING AND lIA IR DRESSING.
:Shop to the tear rn.Sottlee haDdln.r. where he will
ae (trawl ready to attend nil vrb,l may sant anyt lung
In Ws Gue., Moutrose Pa. Gat. 13. Iris.
DR S. WI DAYTON,
PHYKICIAN ,t stItGEOX. tenders his services is
the citizens of ttrest Reno and eh laity. Office ■t his
residence, opposite Barnum [louse, GI. Bend village.
Sept. let. lana. tf
DR D A. LATIMOP,
A alelsters F.:Learn° Tit eau •t. 812111%. at the Foot of
Chest vat street. Call and consult la all Chronle
CIL4IILEY JIG!? III.q,
THE iIAYTI PAUPER.. bitl - maored hie shop to the
build/ hg oernpirtl by J. It DeWitt. where be t. pre
p .114 to do ad triode of work treble line, sect) se ma
ting •srltrhre. entre. etc. All work done am short
nonce sod yr:cc. low. Plane Call and nee me.
H. BURRITT.
Dealer •n Staple And Fancy 1/, oloOds, ("rockery, HlM
era,. Iron, stove.. Draro. OHn, and P.l 1.. Kn o ts
•n 1 nnono, Hato and Cap., Faro, Buffalo Rohe,. Oro
ce Hee. Prosioloam &c.
`1,.• liSord. • a Nor, fi.
EV:ILI:Mg MOTEL
IS J. fIARTLINr:TON grrobes to inform thernbile that
haring rented the Exchan.;e lintel In Montrone. he
it nna prepared rontramenAnte the traveling pabl:e
In (lent Jan. style
Moutrooe, ktrz 1371. .
LrritEZi d• BLAKESLEE,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW. hart removed to tbtir .Tim
°far, opporitc thy Tuba Hour..
Montrooe. Oct. U. HO
BILLINGS STROUD.
FIRE LNO LIFE 1:157.1A1ie it ACENT.
uunt nays attended to prompt 17, no inir term.. °""
are, d.sor east of the bank c , Win. 11. Cooper Et Ca
esnlieasenne, Montrose, P. (Aug. 1.1809.
.IT IL 1N75.1 BILLINGS NTSOOD.
B. T. & E. IL CAFE,
LI AR NESS-It AKERS. Oak Harrel.... light and heavy
kone•t dna% prfrep. Alta. Ltinnanta, Bnanat Blacn
krt.. Whip• and overythhat portalatag to :be tine,
cat% prr than the cheapeat. Repairing done prompt.
1. and In Irstnl style.
ltout.pfe, Pa.. oct.
J. D. VAIL
uee•.cartrte Furatetaa VIM SLMGCON. Ilts permanently
, ated blay.elf In .%tontreoe, Pa , where he will promp4
It attrwt to all Villa W hi. prolbeelou with which he luny
be famumd. 011 c, and ~,.., s denee Fen of the Court
Hoe., near nett b Waterm'a nue..
M0nt..... February 8,1671.
VALLEY 110 USE,
GICAT Rego, Pc titillated hear the Erie Rallislts De.
pvt I . a lat and cattiniseima• house. has ntolergose
•to .math p ttr. Nekviy fince•Ard rn.tm. Si l l
tut ...rtroret..splondldtables.and all cbtur• corn prig
-1.; •tI ,t t•• hotel. LIENItY ACKERT,
Se•ot. Proprietor.
F. CHURCHILL,
Jemrre of the Perm.: GM. over L. N. Lenbetot`e •tore,
(.r.•at tkod boroozb, *umpohanus County.
/Lt. the me lemeat of the dockers of the lota base
Itrckhow. dec....eat Ottire boor.; from 9to 12 o'clock
am ; and from I to 4 ,'dock p. m.
Ghat( heed. Oct. 2d. %W.
ntra_vs & LS
bit. .;13S In Drug+. Ntdleinee. C6emltNr. Dye.
-; pai ate, Otio. 4r4r111143. Liquors. $PlCet• Pane
sea. rat , nt Nlnntelne4. Periameryand Tolle nr.
dept.. irs•r•••er:ution, carefully cosopounded.-
B.trkEn4en. Mentrone.Pa.
4. 4. Run... e.
Feb. 21,133.
MIOW TIRE BABY CABE.
—o—
Lady Moon came down last night—
She did, you needn't doubt it—
A lovely lady dressed in white;
I'll tell you all about It.
They hurried Len and um to bed,
And aunty said, "Now maybe
That pretty moon up overhead
Will bring us down a baby.
"You lie as quiet as can be;
Perhaps you'll catch tier peeping
Between the window bars, to see
If all the folks are sleeping.
'And then, if both of you keep still,
And all the room is shady,
She'll float across the window-sill,
A bonny white-moon lady.
4 Across the sill, along the floor,
You'll see her shining brightly,
Until she conies to mother's door,
...And then she'll vanish lightly.
But in the morning you will find,
If nothing happens, maybe,
She's left us something nice behind—
A beantiful star-baby."
We didn't just believe her then,
For Aunty's always chaffing . ;
The tales she tells to me and Len
Would make you dine laughing.
And when she went out pretty noon,
Len nald, - that's Aunty's humming;
There ain't a bit of lady moon,
Nur any baby coming."
I thought myself it was a lib,
' And yet I wasn't certain ;
Bo I kept quiet in the crib.
And peeped behind the curtain.
I din't mean to sleep a wink,
But, all without a warning,
I dropped right off—and don't you think, -
I waked till morning!
Then there was Aunty by my bed,
And when 1 climbed and kissed her,
She laughed and said,"You sleepy-head
You've got a little sister
What made you shut your eyes so soon ?
I've half a mind to scold you—
For down she mime, that lady moon,
Exactly as I told you l"
And truly it was not a joke,
In spite of Len's denying,
For just the very time she spoke
We heard the baby crying.
The way wu jumped and made a rush
For mother's room that minute I
But Aunty stopped us, crying - ilush!"
Or else you shan't go in it.
And so we had to tiptoe in,
And keep us awful quiet
As if it was a mighty sin
To make a bit of riot.
But there was baby, anyhow—
The funnkst little midget !
I just wish you could peep in now,
And see her squirm and fidget.
Len says he don't believe it's true
(lie isn't such a baby)
The moon had anythlng to do
1W hit bringing us that baby.
But scents to me it's very clear,
As clear as running waier—
Last night there was no baby here.
tit , something must have brought her.
Wav:...'e — . , 4larw.E. Bradley, it Christian Union
The Story Teller.
THE OTHER SIDE
A little matron sat by the fire, on a
cold . winter'J ei ening, with unmistake
able tillers of tears upon her very pretty
face. Beside h. r, in the daottest of cra
dles, slept a rosy baby, and around her
were signs of comfort, and many tasteful
articles that spike ..f ease in the rapeod
iture of money. She wore s dress of soft,
floe merino, fashionably made and trim
mill, and very becommg to her dark eyes
and hair and rich, clear oariptexios ; and
clasping the tie lace collar at. b-r throat
was a handsome pin, whose match in ear
rings depe••ded front the small ears. Up-
Olt a table Iltatitle her were the new
o giour
ats amid magazines, a basket con Him;
embroidery for the baby in the cradle.and
a fancy box. evict...tidy new. containing
choice confectionery. Although, room,
mother and child formed a picture of
comfort; yet Bella Osmond was cry
ing.
While the tear drops fell upon her lit
tle hands. clasped idly in her hip, her
thoughts ran in this wise:
"It gets worse and worse. I don't be
lieve Harry has been at home one es m
ing in a month. He brings me books.
papers, and candy, as it I was a babv.aud
then has an engagement and I don't see
him till midnight. aver he has been away
all day. Only two y-ore married. and I
scarcely ever see my own husband! What
can I do? Mother says, 'Make your home
attractive.' So I keep up my music. and
always dress for dinner, and put the baby
to sleep early, and try my very best to be
just the same Bella I was her .re we were
married, when be thought no evenings so
pleasant as those he spent with me. al , ll.
nie says I ought to to be thankful Harry
don't drink. So lum thankful ; but I
should like to have him remember he has
a home, and not a mere sleeping and eat
ing establishment. Twelve o'clock—and
I hear the latch-key."
"Why little woman! Sitting o? for
me ?"
R. B. Lrrrce.
Or.o. P Lirrt.z.
E. L. Bies.r.gcse
It would have been hard for even an
iihtempered woman to resist the cherry
voice and bright smile of the handsome
young man, who bent over Bel! as be,
spoke, with a loving kiss. Bella. not hav
ing one spark of bad temper in her whale
composition, smiled hack again.
"Why," cried Hurry, as the light fell
upon her face., "you've been crying! Are
you sick, darling?"
The tears started again at the tender
tone of the inquiry.
' - No. lam not sick. But lam so lone.
ly when you are not here Harry!"
"Lonely! Why. you have baby. and
your books and papers, and the piano. I
thought women always had sewing and
knitting. and all sorts of work, to fill up
the time."
"Rut, Harry, I have all day for work
In the evening I want you."
"Novr see here. Bella," said Harry seri
"dnn't h 4 unreasonahle. I can't
stay at home all the time. lam sore I
give von everything you want, don't I ?"
"Y•e-s."
"Shawls and bonnets and dresses, and
von only have to ask for money to have
it. I have to work hard at the store all
day, and when evening comes I Want .a
Algol NICSOLII
Poetry.
BY ANNA SHIELDS
er.rt. QTR AND MLIC+3Wr C3 -orb .ELNTI 4orrre 4oimpww"Trusr.
MONTROSE, SUSQUEHANNA COUNTY, PA., WEDNESDAY, NOV. 12, 1873.
little recreation. You know always where
I am. I never insult you by coming home
drunk. You have everything you ask for,
and really I don't see whatany reasonable
woman can find to complain about. Don't
let me find you crying again, that's IA dear
little woman I I'll take you to the opera
to-morrow evening and cheer you up."
So Bella went to bed comforted a lit.
tie, and really believing she had been a
little too exacting. Per a week or two
Harry came home oftener, and took his
wife out several times. Then he drifted
back again into the old habit of promis
ing to meet Jones here. Brown there, and
Robinson in at.other place, a little influ
enced, it must be confessed, by the un
animous opinion of hie friends of bache
lor days, that "Osmond was not spoiled
by matrimony a bit. Just the same good
fellow he always was."
Bella made no complaints. She made
a tempting dressing-gown, worked beau
tiful slippers, and a smoking-cap; bad
the gratification of seeing them adorn
her lord and master on Sunday mornings
but otherwise neglected. She made her
sitting-room a very power of beunty, and
arranged a little table with the most
tempting cigar holders, match safe, and
ash- 1 ,,,,,r. She learned new music,and
made herself the prettiest object in the
house, always excepting the wonderful
baby ; but yet evening after evening she
had the mortification of seeing Henry
turn his buck to all her carefully prepar
ed fascinations, pleading an engagement.
and leaving her alone.
Then she tried gathering a few mutual
friends around her, hoping to keep Ihvry
at home in that way ; but she 6eWl aban
doned that, finding it mortifying to play
hostess in her pretty home alone.
When she found all her gentle devices
useless, she tried to make the time pass
pleasantly by reading, sewing and praetis
ing,giving often a longing thought to her
old home in another city, and the cheerful'
family group collected there.
The %elutes was nearly over, when, one
evening, of er a light full of snow. Harry
failed to appear at dinner time. Ile was
usually punctual then, and 11,11 a looked
upon dinner as her happiest hour in the
day. tier husband wits cordially appre
ciative of her neat houskeepmg, ready to
praise her culinary triumphs, and full of
cheerful conversation. Indeed, Bella of
ten thought tearfully:
••If Harry wasn't such good company,
and so fond of me. I wouldn't miss him
so much."
But on this blustering February night
the dinner hour was tary, the vi.aids soh
;he servant gruml4l).g.and Bella un
easily wondering what could have happen
ed.%% hen a back drove rapidly to the door,
and a moment later the dour bell rung
with a violent jerk.
—Bella herself Mn to4lie door. Two
men were lifting a tall Ogiire from the
hack ; but Harry's voice reassured her,
"Don't he frightened, Bela. It is only
a sprained ankle."
But trying to mand in the hall, the
strong man fainted a ith the excruciating
pain.
Bella was not the woman to Land help
less or screaming,. She led the men oho
h e ld h e r husha n d to the Spore bedroom
openttig Irian the parlor. and sent the
servant after a 11,4:r( T, buecirg her,ielf
with bathing ll.trry's face a tilt Cologn e
water, and trying to r.St..re
D=l
"A fall, marm." ,:aul one of the men.
totichilig his cap respect fnlly. "There is
just snow• enonzh to 1).. slim wry, and the
gentleman twisted his ankle. Me and
this man saw him full. and took him into
a store just handy. It w a s quite a spell
before we found out where he lived, sad
then 'we had to go a urn v fur a hack.
Cati we do :Ills more. mitem
"Im i nk ynn : I don't know of anvil mg:
but you must let me. glee eon this
know . your time is rainahle," said B
pressing a bank note two the hand of
.-ach one. "I cannot tell you how mach
I thank you," sh e added with a look in
her pale race that caused the men to agree
as they walked off that :
"She was a plucky lit - le trump, and
wouldn't cry, though she wanted to bad
enough."
The doctor pronounced the sprain a
very severe one, stud Harry knew he must
he a prisoner in the pretty spare room h.r
many days.
It was a bondage very irksome to the
active man, but Harry thought a hun
dred ;isms a day, how much more terri
ble it wonibl been but for !MIA. fith
opened the foldit a -duors leading to the
sitting-I -Dom, so that it was like one large
apartment, and moved the piano where
he could watch her as she played and
sang for him. She taught him to find
baby a most amusing companion when
household duties called her away. She
played chess, dominoes and checkers by
the hour, and Snnul all the interesting
and amusing hits in the newspapers for
him. She read aloud,or worked while he
read. As for nursing, bathing the swol
len ankh, concocting wonderful cooling
drinks, preparing tempting repasts, lan
guage
would fail me if !attempted to de.
scrine her success in that line of ditty.
While Harry was confined to his - bed.
Bella seemed never to leave him. Day
and night she was watchfully attentive,
wirer Drina. tiever ceasing her effiuts to
make the time pa s in pl..asant amuse
ment. But there was a rapid improve
ment soon in the injured limb, and one
March morning the physician gave per
mission to his patient to limp with a cane
into the sitting-room.
"You must not try to rest your weight.
on the root vet." he said. "It must have
entire rest for several days."
" There is no more pain," Harry said
," No. but the weakness remains. If
you use it too soon, you may suffer for
the imprudence by far more serious injury
than even the.first sprain."
So Harry submitted to the imprison
ment with the hest grace he could mus
ter, and Bella made him comfortable in a
great. easy chair by the window, with a
table 'Scald , him covered with books.
smoking paraphernalia; newspapers, and
choice foreign fruits and sweatnieats.
But having made him thoroughly emu
for.able Bella mysteriously vanished.—
Now and then she flitted in with a mil)
of coffee, a luncheon, a word of love, but
pleading a world of household cares as an
excuse for running away again in a mo
ment.
Harry found it rkiflier stupid, but look
ed forward to evenly"; for some music, a
long chat, or a chapter or two more of the
hook they sere reading together, which
seemed to have lost all interest persued in
solitude. His amazement was almost lu
dicrous, whcm Bella, after clearing away
his dinner table, put on her hat and
shawl.
I um only going over to Mrs. LetiB for
an hour," she said. in a matter-uf-course
tone, absolutely stunning Harry's ears;
"Bat I have left you the newspapers. II
baby cries call June."
Harry tried to remonstate, but found
he way talking only to himself. He tried
to read, he smuked,he started a new prob
lem in chess, he yawned frequently, and
lie said a bad word about innocent Mrs.
Lee, till eleven o'clock, when he began to
get uneasy.
In the mean time, naughty Bella had
crept softly up stairs to the bed-room,
taken off her bonnet and shawl, and
calm lyst itched upon an embroidered cloak
for baby's spring outfit until midnight.—
Then she wrapt herslf in out-door gar
ments, stole duwu to the front door, and
after much rattling of the night key, and
a loud "Good-night," walked into the sit
ting room to poor yawning Barry.
"Twelve o'clock," she said yawning. "I
had no idea it was so late:"
- You mast have hail a pleasant eve
ning," said her husband with intense ear
cumin.
"Delightful," was the emphatic answer.
It aaa bad enough for once, but the
next day there was more cooking and
cleaning, and in the evening Mrs. Jones
had a call, still in the bed-room, where
baby's cloak progressed finely; and the
next evening Mrs. Peters had invited Bel
la to go with her to the family opera, and
the bed-room had the variety of full dress
reception by one performer.
This had been going on for a week
when Harry brume savage. Bella, com
ing in at midnight all smiles, in a bewil
dering dress of scarlet and black lace,
from All in•ginary `little party, at Mrs.
Smith's, was greeted with :
"I would like to know, madam, how
long this kind of thing is to go on ?"
"What kind of thing l" asked Bella in
nocen tie.
"Bei+lg out every evening till midnight
'euving me entirely alone."
-Alone! why ycm have baby,and books
and your pipe } "
"Fine company to be sure!"
'Now see here, Harry," said Bella,with
the gravity of a dew on, "don't be unreas
onable. I can't stay in this room all the
time. I give you everything you want,
don't I."
"Yes, but—"
"I rusk you all the nice things, I can
think of, mid keep you supplied with hi.
eritt ore unit tobacco. I Imre to work hard
in the house all day, and when evening,
comes I want a little recreation. 1",,t1
know all my friends. Ido not go any
that sin disapprove of, and I really
I on't see what ally reasonable man can
complain of. Don't let m , find von ores.;
again—that's a dear fellow."
"Bella."
This, after a long silence and in a very
low voice.
"Yes, dear."
"Bello, was it really us lonesome for
you t.s i has been for me?"
-011, 1! irrv, I could never tell you hall
how dreary it has been."
"You have given me a sharp lesson,
litth womambut you wou't have to repeat
And she never did. The bachelor
friends found all their taseinutions power
less when harry was out again, and in a
very little while the young husband found
there was no place so t.:is horne,no
companion so charming us Bella.
ltut he never knew where that little
woman spent those evenings, which he
passed viewing the home-evening question
from TIIE OTII Elt SIDE.
Suspended
_o_
Dnring the pan]• of 1857 a large num
ber ..f persons in Philadelphia had their
boots olackened by an old te.g.:o at his
celiar on Spruce street, who delivered his
work promptly, every morning. at the
doors'of their Mite's and boarding honses.
radient with the brightest of French pol
ish. One unhappy morning Gies.. people
got tip and found no boots at their doors.
After a proper amount of blasphemy.
equpped in old shoes and old slippers.
they set out for Samho's shop. On reach
ing it they di-covered u placard of the
cellar door bearing the inscription, quite
familiar on the bank doors of that day—
"Susp.mded." After mans: thunderous
kicks, Sambo at. kiigib opened his portal.
"Where ere my boots, you black scone
drel ?" said one. "Hand over my shoes,
you son of charcoal," said another. The
artist of the bush, with a smile worthy
of a defaulting artist of Wall street,ealm
ly banded over one boot and one Owe,
with-the remark: Gemmen, die house has
suspended, imAt we pay 50 percent."
A CORRESPONDENT, describing the
wreck of the steamer. Agra. off Galie,
hound from Calcutta to Ifiedon. via the
Suez Canal. save that after the vessel
struck on the rocks the passengers and
crew had barely time to escape in the
boats, as the seas came tumbling over the
sides, sweeping everything before them.
carrying away one poor invalid sallor.and
bursting open the cages and dens of an
extensive menagerie on board.roing home
for the Zoological Gardens. The escape
and striking nut amid the waves of a
crowd of tigers. elephants, etc., and their
roars and screams adding, to the terror of
the wretched passengers,presented a spec
tacle that will not soon he forgotton. One
elephant managed to swim ashore, as did
one of the inhabitants of the adjacent
coast, who are said to be living In it state
of siege, rot daring to venture outside
their barricaded doors.
THE Spaniards are said to have a pro•
verb which reads: "At eight..en marry
year daughter to her superior; at twenty
to her eqiial.hut at thirty to anybody who
will havo her."
MS WIFE'S FRIEND
-o
That Danbury News Man has much to
answer fur. The Pemia Review, is the
last of the papers to flourish an imita
tor of him,,and here is a specimen of its
work : Squire Blinks, a retired old gen•
demon, lives away down on Seventh
street. The other morning three old la
' dies,from Macon County came to his house
on a visit. They used to know his wife
betbre she was married. The Squire wel•
coined them to his mansion, and then
went out to his barn and swore for half
an hour. While he was soothing him
self thus, his wife called him into the
house. She banded him an umbrella to
keep off the sun, and said the ladies hod
walked up from the depot and left some
Things there fur him to beng them OM
making two trips for the biskets, band
boxes and two black oil cloth traveling
bags, all of which the Squire discourte
uuusly culled "in!ernal old traps."
As he sat in the back kitchen wiping
his brow, his wife brought out the mar
ket basket {red said there was not a hit
of sugar or tea in the house, and she re
marked that while he was going down
town he might us well get the molasses
jug tilled. The Squire asked her how
long those old migratory pelicans were
going to stay. And she asked him if he
thought she would be so rude as to ask
them. Theo the Squire• went down and
laid in the groceries. When he got back
his wife said she had forgotten something
and thought of it just when it was ton
late. She must have some corn starch.
The Squire asked her if any of the old
scarecrows had dropped the least hint as
ou the duration of their visit. She raid
not. The Squire looked sad and disci - in.
tent. When he laid the paper of corn
starch on the kitchen table, his wife said
they most have a codfish for dinner.
tine of the ladies said, in the course of
conversation,that she was fond of cod•ftTh
The Squire asked if the old buzzards hal
Vet committed themselves on the extent
of their present roost. She said he ought
to be ashamed of himself. When he had
slapped the cod fish down on the table
with a whang, his wife got him to bring
in some water and wood. Mrs. Spoonan
ger said she never dined without ale, and
the Squire was asked if he would gn
down and'bring up a bottle. He asked
if he should go into the parlor and get
those old cormorants to make out a list of
what they did like, and furthermore asked
if they were silent as to when they
thought they would go away. He got the
ale, and for fear lie would InA to trot
down town again he hired ito express
wagon, and loaded it with all sorts of gar
den truck, a bottle of whiskey, a box of
sardines, a pound of snrasome cove oys
ters, dried tobacco, pickled walnuts, can
ned oorn, mmtkor,i, epl.t pcisS, etc. The
next day the Squire was sent down town
only eight times. Early the next morn
ing he started out in the country to see a
man. When lie got home he asked his
wife if any time had been set for the de
parture. On the etenin,g of the follow
ing Monday. one of the Indies said she
thought she ought to start on the Friday
next, 91 , as to reach home before Sunday.
Mrs. Blinks said they ought not be in a
hurry. Tie Squire groaned, and said
they ought to make their visit out. On
day morning the Squire had an ex
pnas augur] before the door. But his
wife said. the ladies had concluded to stay
until after the foul VI. Then the Squire
went out to saw wood,and converse with
himself.
Contented with the Weather
We never knew more than one man who
was perfectly s,.tistied witn the weather at
all times and under all circumstances. It
was Chubb. In summer, when the ther
mometer bolted up among the nineties.
Clinbb would come to the frort door with
ba u d.; of perspiration standing out all-ov
er his red face until his head would look
like a rasherry, and would look at the sky
and say, "Splendid—perfectly splendid!
Noble weather for the poor and for the
ice companies and the washer-woman !
They don't shake np any such climate as
this in Italy. Gimme my umbrella Har
riet, while I sit out yer on the steps and
enjoy it." In winter when the mercury
would creep down fifteen degrees below
zero, and the cold was severe enough to
freeze the inside of Vesuvius solid to the
ntre of the Globe, Chubb would sit on
a fence and exclaim. "By Jingo! did you
ever see such weather as this? I like an
atmosphere that freezes up your very mar
rer.
It helps the coal trade and keeps the
snakes quiet.. Don't talk of summer time
to me. Gimme cold and give it to me
stiff." When there was a drought, Chubb
used to meet ns in the street and remark,
"No ruin yet.. I see! Magnificent, isn't it?
I want my weather, dry; I wanet it with
the dampness left out. Moisture breeds
fever and ague, and wets your clothes. If
there's anything I despise, it's to carry an
umbreller. No rain for me if you please."
When it rained for a week, and swamped
the country, Chubb often dropped in to
see us. and to observe, "I (Immo how you
feel ahont this yer rainAut it allns seems
to me that the heavens never drops no
blessitigs but when we have a long wet
spell. It makes the corn jump, and it
cleans the sewers. I wouldn't give a cent
to live in a climate where there was nn
rain. Put me on the Nile and I'd die to
a week. Soak me through and through
to the inside of my under thirt,and I feel
as if life was bright and beantiful, and
sorrer nothing but nonsense." Chubb
was always happy in a thunderstorm. He
would say, "Put me in a thunderstorm
and let the lightnite play around me and
Pin at borne. - I'd rather have o'r#'storm
that'll tear the inside out of the cintinent
than a dozen of yer little dribblie water
in' pot showers. If I can't have rippin'
and a roarin' storm I don't want none."
One day Chubb was upon his roof fixing
a shingle, when a tornado struck him,
lifted him Mt carried him a quarter of
mile, and dashed him with such terrible
force against a fence that his leg was
broken. As they carried him home we
met him,and when we asked him how he
felt,he opened his eyes and languidly said.
"Immortal powers! what a storm that
was! When it blow, its snits the sen
ior member of the Chubb family if it
TWO DOLLARS PRIITRAR SR ADVARDRI
Terms{ IF No r PAID ADVANCE. AO 0 ,
iDI.ZXTRAI.
bloyve hard. I've' give both legs if we could
have a squall like that every day. I— /—"
Then he fainted.
Out In the Rain.
—o—
A round little lace peeping out of a shawl
That tsar trying to cover it, dimpke and all;
A fat little hand pushing sturdily up.
And catching the drops in its mote of a oup ;
A truticksome baby that didn't , nruplaln,
Though mamma and he were out in the rain.
•
The ferry-boat jerked itself into the slip.
And down came the shower, a pelt and a drip ;
The pretty young Moils were mute with despair,
For We r..is would just lettiti them with "noth•
Mg to wear;
While the dainty young gentlemen stared at the
ski.
With a fe ling quite mildly expressed by sur-
pri e:
But It Was fun to the baby, and once and again ;
He laughed his delight at the beautiful rain.
There ware woe with bundles and men with
cigars,
There were newsboys around both the 'busts
and ears.
There were crowds going hp,there were crowds
going down,
And tester the deluge poured over the town.
Umbrellas were useless at home in the hell,
And baby was fortunate, wrapped in a shawl ;
He tugged at it hntvely,witta s tru ggle and strain,
It hindered his seeing enough of the rain.
0 baby I you darling, so merry and sweet,
I followed you up the long hill of the street;
I'd nothing to (ear, for my bat was not new,
And so 1 bad leisure to trifle w ith you,
And throw you my kisses, and think what a Joy
That dear little mamma must find such a boy ;
An armful to carry, a weight on her shoulder,
But day by day growing a tiny bit older;
Her pride and her comfort. She didn't complain
As she bore you so cheerily home in the rain.
Once there, bow she'd loosen that magical pin
That had fastened so precious a prisoner in,
And golden curls mumbled, and rap all awry,
And rumpled and Crlll3lp;ed, but happy and dry,
Would set you once more ou the two little feet,
Restless and rosy, and cunning and fleet,
And laughed es you told her again and again,
"flow nmthe it wath, 1:13131.111119, out dere in the
wain."
A Lend of %Yonder'.
......0-.-
The greatest cataract in the world is
the Falls of Niagara, where the water
from the great upper lakes form a river
of three-fourths of a mile in width, and
then, being suddenly contracted, plunge
over the rocks in two columns to the
depth of 175 feet. Tho greatest cave iu
the world is the Mammoth Cave of Ken
tuckey, where any one can make a voy
age on the waters of a subterranian river
and catch fish without eyes. The great
est river in the known world is the Mis
aiseippi. It contains 500,000 square miles
and is one of the most fertile regions of
the globe. The greatest city park in the
world is in Philadelphia. It contains over
2,000 acres. The greatest grain port in
the world is Chicago. The largest lake
in the world is Lake Sup Prior, wide!) is
truely an inland sea. !king 430 miles
long and 1,000 feet deep. The longest
railroad at present is the Pacific rail
toad, over 3,000 miles in length. 'the
greatest mass of solid iron in the world
is the mountain in Missouri It is 350
feet high and two miles in circuit. The
beat specimen of Grecian architecture in
the world is the Girard College for Or
phans, Philadelphia. The largest aque
duct, New York. Its length is 41,} miles
and it cost $12.500,000. The largest de
posit of anthrieVe coal in America are
in Pennsylvania, the mines of which sup
ply the market with millions of tons an
nually, and appear to be inexhaustible.—
American Engineer.
Power of Memory.
Dr. Johnson, it is said, never forgot
anything he had seen, heard or read.—
Burke. Clarendon, Gibbon,
son, were all distinguished for strength
of memory. When alluding to this sub
ject Sir William Hamilton observes: For
intelh-ctuai power of the highest order
none were distinguished above Grotius
and Pascal ; Grotius and Paseßl
forgot nothing they had ever
read or thought. Leihintz and Euler
were. not less celebrated for their intelli
gence than for their memory ; and both
cold repeat the whole of "..tueid." Dun
ellas knew the "Corpse Juris" by heart;
and yet he was oue of the profoundest
and most original speculators in juris
prudence. Ben:Jonson tells us that he
could repeat all that he had ever written
and whole books that he had read. The
mistocies could call by their names the
twenty thousand citizens of Athena.—
Cyrus is reported to have known the, name
of every soldier in his army.
• Hortensins (after Cicero the greatest
orator of Rome.) after sitting a whole
day at a public; sale. correctly enunciated
from memory all the things sold, their
prices and the names of their purchas
era. Niebuhr, the historian, was no less'
distinguished for his memory than for his
acuteness. In Isis youth he was employ
ed in one of the public offices of Den-
Mark. Part of a hook of accounts hav
ing been destroyed, be restored it by an
effort of memory.
Where Wes The Text
—o—
Ministers think that it their hearers
cannot remember the text and the ser
mon they are not benefited. We com
mend to them the story of a gentleman
who was once riding in Scotland by a
bleeching ground, where a poor woman
was at work watering her wehs of linen
cloth. He asked her where she went to
church, what she had heard on the pre
ceeding day, and how much she remem
bered. Slie could not even tell thg text
of the last smarm. "And what good
can the preaching do von," said he, "if
von forget it all ?" "Ah, sir," replied the
poor woman, "if you will look at this web
on the grass you will see as fast as ever I
put the water on it the km dries it all
up, and yet, sir, I see it gets whiter and
wittier!'
is a per notion some people haye
of getting ntatl when they receive it dun.
The party who has n ngtit to get mail is
the one that has been kept out of what
belOngs to hitn.:
Dire grow old mora (mm bovine noth
ing to do than from over-wor`r. The run
.
tnn g machine Will keep bright for years
I —4he idle machine will anon rub oat.
NUMBER 45.
Varieties.
_a_
There ie man so hard up that ho now
&eve on tick.
A peripatetic show out West goes by
the name of Wizarcliau Caghostromaa
theum.
A Michigan farmer has written to Mr.
Bergh to know if folding doors in hog
pens will be the fashion next summer.
Two fatigned travelers, having, to travel
ten miles further, comforted themselves
by the calculation that it was only five
miles each.
Which is the oldest. Miss Antiquity,old
Aunty Diluviun, Miss Ann Tenor, Miss
A ncreter, 3iss Anu T. Mundane or Miss
Anu T. Cedent ?
Two pairs of stairs are necessary to ev
ery newspaper office ie South Carolina;
one for the editor to go doin as the cal
ler comes up the other.
The Des Moines dramatic club is dis
cussing what Desdemona meant when she
exclaimed : "Would that heaven had
made me such a man."
A Georzia "tracker" was offered four
dollars per day to labor,when he exclaim
ed, "Sir, d'ye s'pose Pd work when I've
juig discovered a fresh coon track ?"
the editor of a Kentucky paper was
thrown into a pond by a prize fighter,and
is said to have swallowed some water for
the first time since his boyhood.
"Why do you set your' cop of coffee on
the chair, Mr. Jones ?" said a worthy
landlady one morning at breakfast. "It's
is so very weak, madam, I thought
would let it rest."
"Does one woman in fifty fill the lower
halt of her lunge with air?" is thestern
inquiry of a sanitary exchange. The ed
itor of that paper never heard the voice
of an infuriated mother-in-law.
The Denver .Vega gave, a short time
ago, an account of a raid of "three hun
dred clergymen" on the frontier "carry
ing their scalps and plunder with them."
It meant three hundred Cheyennes.
A melting Good Friday sermon being
preached in a country church, all wept
excepting one man, who being asked why
he did not weep as well as the rest ? "Oh 1 9
replied be, "1 belong to another parish."
One person asked another if he believ
ed in the appearance of spirits? "No,"
was the reply, "but I believe in their dis
appearance. I have missed a bottle of
brandy since last night.
A Maysville, Ky., paper says there is a .
servants girl in that town. who has lived
with the same family for a whole month,
and during that time has been only to .
one circus, one fair a colored funeral. and
six prayer meeting
The editor of the Huntsville, Mo.,
Herald pops the question in his paper in
this public fashion : "There's a certain
girl in this town who can carry our smoke
house keys for life if she'll only say tho
word."
A. Western paper says Wirt Sykes, the
silent partner of Olive Logan, was once
a poor printer boy,but by genius, udustry.
and tact., he became the husband of a wo
man who can earn 8200 a night by deliver
ing lectures.
A lager beer house in Hudson county,
N. J , was formerely a church. The shrewd
Teuton who now keeps it was about to
erase en inscription painted °seethe door,
but on second thought he left the last
line untouched. It ill: "Let him who is
athirst come."
"Are you going into the .„country to
study the book of nature during this beau
tiful summer weather ?" asked - a bombas
tic gentleman to a lady friend., She wit
tily replied, "Not yet; I am waiting for
the autumn to save me the trouble of
turning the leaves."
A fashion writer in view of the fact
that the ladies propose to wear "cavalier
boots" turned down just about the an='
kles, says that with hats janntly turned
up on one side, knapsack hanging at the
side, a dagger stuck in the belt and turn
ed over boot legs, they will present quite
a t rigandish appearance.
As a fashionable young lady,fresh from
boarding school, came to her honest old
father's breakfast table. instead of speak
ing English,and saying "Good morning,"
she spoke in Frencli,and said "Bon juur."
"Of course the bone's yours, if you say
so," responded the practical old gentle
man,as he handed-her the ossified portion
of a beefsteak. •
When a citizen 'of Louisville cannot
procure the real old Bourbon to irrigate
his alimentary canal, he steals an old
whisky barrel and splits it up into small
pieces, which he chews es he would licor
ice. root. A well-soiked barrel staves is
equal to two drinks, and bung-hold af
fords sustenance for a week.--V. P. Her
cury.
Living beyond your'm elms isli ke sleigh
riding out of season. Sept° is all right
in its place, lint on an empty pocket it
is as hard pulling as sled-runners on bare
ground. It is a had plan to spend dol•
tars where dimes would answer, unless
there are plenty more within reach.—
Credit. is a very unsteady support for
luxury, and it is certain to break down.
At Cincinnati recently a man standing
on ono of the wharves observed a dog
swimming around in a circle in the river.
The observer went to resume the dog and
discovered near 'him the 664' of a man
who, as the enrOner's inqiest proved, had'
committed suicide. He lied been the dog's
owner, and the faithful animal had clung
to him in death.
Eight hours is a legal day's work on
Government hoildings : while ten hours is
a day's work under individuals. Con
tractors not so fortunate as to have jobs
under Uncle Sam protect themselves by
charging the tli&rence to -their custom
ers, if they cannot arrange - it with their
men. Anna Dickinson once said that she
never knew' of_anybody rising to greater
eminence who worked leis" than fouteen
hones a According to this rule eilt ! ,
tore. ought .to be among the fortunate
elaatzs-