The Montrose Democrat. (Montrose, Pa.) 1849-1876, October 08, 1873, Image 1

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Ef.AWLE,7I" &,90., Proprietors.
; = \A
is Published Ere Ty Wednesday Morning,
at Montrose, Susquelfatinatounty, Pa.,
By E. B. Howley &. Co.
$9 ■ year In advance, or $2.30 if not In advance'
Mx° fourths Inch of !mace, or le make • • tqaa r al
1r t •
'spahreit. vieehl or lead 40.00 A 3 month
; 3 months 7}2.50; G months $4.50; I year,
$2.00. Quarterly, half-yearly and yearly aaver
tiseineuts inserted at a liberal reduction on the
above rates. When Sent wlthrint any lingth of
time specided for publication they will be con
tinued until ordered ouLandelaqsed according.
Auditor's Notices, $2.110; Executor's and:Ad.
ministrstors' Notices, $3.00. All cotumunica•
Lion' of limited or individual interest; 10 cents
per line. Obituary Notices, 10 cents pet line.—
Marriage and Death Notices free.
kzenteti i eatly and Prcm: pag,
AND Vim; cuw
DeeAc Mortgages, Notes, Jost - aces', Consta
bles' School itad other blanks tor sale.
Business Garb
J. B. & A. 11. MWOLLIzar,
ATTMISTIII •T L•w Orire over the Meek, Montrose
Pa. Montrose, May 10. 1521. a
A PTORVET AT LAW. °face grrr
,tbe Start - of M.
Daa►°ir. In theßrialc Elipak.3lontaose, Pa. (ant P 3
W. RAftrg .
of Nato street,. IJontroae. P. 7aug. 1. 1569.
AUCTIONS/R. sod Inscrusrcs Acormi,
•a 1 67t1 Friendnirille, Pa.
A2lt L Y,
A. 1, let'''.
A ddreaa, Broeklya. Pa
• ••'•"' JOILY GROVES, '
Chandler's Store. All orders filled to first-rate st)ls.
the done on short notice. and connoted to Et.
A TTORSEt A. I.o4'.floonii, Hack Pay: Permian
sod Socin on Claitua attended to. °Mee dr
-4, 0 r below rld/d'a Store. Idontrove.P... [An. I. MS
Attorney at V. °Mee at the Coart lions., to the
CoatrolseloareeoMca W A. Coosszos.
llontrvor, Elent-aUt. unt.—tf.
Dealers to Dry Goods, Clothing, Ladles nnd Misses
flee Shoes Von, szents for the great America•
Tea tad Coffee Company. [Montrose, July 11.
Thrrrtsr. gasonte at hie dwelling, next door nest of the
Republican printing otMee. Oface hours from 9a. a.
to 4r. a. Montrose. May S, IS7l—tf
LAW 01 7 71013,
FIT* k WATSON. Attavicya at Lair, at itio old Gale*
of Monday A Fitch. Mantra.. Pa.
1.. F. /MD. 11112.1 1 , '71.1 W. W. traraon.
AMOl.ttr LE liturover J. R. DeWitt's
Montrose Feb. 113.
Deslei i 5 Cb-micals. Pe,. 0:4.
D?e stun", l'was, '. .1, r
taper,. te..LElrfek block, Montruse, P.. Eetablidbed
1311. [Feb. 1. WM
Attnrnsei. at Lx* and Salkltorstit rtankrqpici:o64
Ilet. O Court Ntrett, ova City Natter:m.l'l3=lC' Bing-
Lantua N. Y. Wra. fl. Samna,
Jane . 111i.h.:11573..
PIITSICIAN aiiittlititON, tenders his professions
.services to the citizens of Montrose and • letnity.—
()Mee at his residence, on the corner east of Sayre
Brae. Foandre. (Atte. I, 16631.
kalerim Doom and Stumm., flats and Cape. Leather ono
Finding,. *Lin Sareat„ doofbalom Sogda Store.
Work made v. ordar, and repairing done neatly.
ignutroataaa..l.lslo.- -
1311104;50 ! AND • HAIR, DRESSING.
Shop to the new t'ostnelice 1;12111lne. where he will
be kmud toady to Wand all who meyosatit auytkaug
in hlsitte. NOW:role TS. Oct U. "/ESS:
DIG S. W. DA 270.2 V,
PHYSICIAN 6 BURGEON, - Tenders hi. serried. to
toe citizens of Great Bend and vicinity. Office at his
residence. opposite Bantam lion.e., G't Bend +Mime.
Sept. lat. 1800.—If .
A la i Osten Matta as. flrerui, at- the 'Finn Zr
Che.tnitt SUSI. :Call and puma to all C?roule.
01.essoda: ' , ? - '
Montrose. /au. 17.'13 an3—a.
THE FIATTI R itnEn, has mowed hts shop to the
occupied brcT. 11. Dewitt. where he Is pre
pared to do ail kinde of work in his line. such a. Mt,
king swltctie., pude. etc. All stork doer on abort
notice tad price. low. Nellie call and see me.
Dada. ,o Staple and Fancy Dry Goods, Crockery. nerd
osio, Iran, Swede., Drop, Oils. and 'pilots, Boots
and Shoes. Bata and esp. Fets. Duttalo Robes. Gro
ceries. Provisions. &c.
1.7. MAILIMSGTON wishes to Inform the public that
tarieg rented the Exchange Motel to Montrose., be
In no* prep trod ace r oaroodate the traveling , pu blic
So rest•clats style
Mootrose, A.l.g Li, 1873.
dsloens attendad to pruispily,mn fair terms. Office
Ilr•t door ea.t of the beak or Wm. IL -Cooper & Cs.
"ul,ilc Arms& I, MOlltrOle, Pa. tA pg. 1.1869.
trly Swami :
11..vr. Mae PaT•tet.lll AND Se= cos. Ha perresacut
hl cif Moutrose, Pa. • where he will prolnp i t
i• ...mud to all calls Mills profession with whirl he may
foooro4. 011 ice and residence west of the Court
House, near Fitch t Watson's Mice.
Montrose. FOruary,B.lB7l..
VALLEY 110174rE,
O.IZ/T IRAK eel Da
ts a large ati4 commodious house. has undergone
thlrontrh repair...l4lEly rcumrsisad morn* end sleepy
ae apartmeaLs;spleadifeblea.liedanthitiera ecenpeir
lee a Ciat claw halal. UKERY ACKERT.
Sept. lOW, 1ea...11. . _ Proprietor.
Janice of the Pave: office diet 148:LitAgettra store.
Gemt Bead boronsb, dosoehasna Connty. Penu'a.
11ga gtnr,st !sarong, of dgreitors irf Ole late loose
It! 431110gg hanrafrum 9 to It o'clock
a. m and from Ito 4 &cluck. 9. U.
Orsat Bond. Oct. 99.1972.
94A "alfl In Dniri, Matelot*. Chemical,. Dye ,
'Leas, Pciate,olle.tiarcileb. Ltqucire, splcecrancy
, r;-cies, Yattnttic:name*, leertatneryas4 , 7'ellut
time. erYrecerlpitone carefelly - oscpoluided.
Drietßloelt. Yontrree.Pa. •
C. D. Brag, • Asia* 11acaw.....
1' eh. it, IV:.
Only a kiss a pettifog,
• 1 Only a fond embrace,
But the tide of years, with its hopes apd fears,
Can never the dream e ffac e.
• Only a careless meeting,
- • Only a chilling gaze,
But the heart will carry the cruel wound
Through all lite's devious ways.
Only a bitter headache,
Only some womanly tears,
But the hive that changes not with change
Lives on thro' eternity's years.
Only the thrilling memory
01 a happy moment fled,
And all of the days that follow
, Arc cold and empty and dead.
LUCY iL noorna.
night lung the baby voice
Wailed pitiful and low ;
All night long the mother paced
'Wearily to and fro,
Striving to woo those dim eyes,
Health-giying slumbers deep;
Striving to stay the flutering life
With heavenly balm of sleep.
Three nights have passed—the fourth has
0, weary, weary feet I
That still must wander to and fro—
Relief and rest were sweet.
But still the pain-wrung, ceaseless moan
Breaks from the baby breast,
And still the mother strives to soothe
• The suffering child to mt.
Lo, at - the door a giant form
Stands sullen, grand and not
Over that trued brow es - cry storm
Lite's clouds can send has passed.
' Those features of heroic mould
Can awaken awe or fear;
Those eyes have known Othello's scowl,
The maniac glare of Lear.
The deep, full voice, whose tones can sweep
In thunder to the ear,
Itas learntd such softness that the babe
Can only smile to hear,
'Flue stroni , arms laid the little form
Upon the massive breast.
"Go, mother,l will watch your child,"
"lie whispers; "Go and tint I"
All night long the giant form
Treads gently' to and fro;
All night lung the deep voice speaks,
In 'immured sootbings low.
Until Vie rose light of the mom
Flushes the tar off skies,
In slumber sweet on Forrest's breast
At last the baby lies
0 Savior, Thou diilst bid one day
The children come to Thee!
Ile who bias served Thy little ones
c Bath be oot. too, served Thee?
Low lies the actor now at rust
Beneath the summer light;
Sweet be his Meep, as that he gave
The sufrring child that night I -
Appieton. Journal.
The Story Teller.
"Itelto 'This - ton's do. Move on."
The speaker was a gigantic polimmau.
The object of his wrath was a boy, who
sat on a low stoop, with his face buried
in his hands us if crying.
It was night, and snowing last. A
bitter; itter night, in which one would
not Wish even one's enemy to be home
less and shelterless.
The boy did not stir.
to, I say," .cried the policeman,
angrily advancing nearer. -So ilium.
Hung, young 'un. Get up and move
But as the bid, even vet, did not rise,
the polio-man stooped down, snd shook
him. As he did this the boy fell over
senseless, in the snow
'Great God !" cried the policeman.--
"HO's dead. Frozen to death, too; per
haps starved. Poor little fellow! An
orphan, no doubt. Well, I must take
him to the station house I supp •se."
But as he lifted the body, as he did
tenderly, for he had children of his own
at home, the seemingly inanimate form
"Fainted," said the officer, "but not
dead yet. If the station house wasn't so
far of Alt! maybe they'll take him in
As he spoke, sebuse carriage had dash
ed up to the next house.a footman sprang
from tho box, the conch door was flung
open, a•id an old man, wrapped in a fur
cloak, stopped our, atul took the servant's
arm, to be helped up the high stoop.—
Secing the policeman, however, with the
boy in his arms, he stopped abrupt
"What! What .^' he cried "A
young tramp. A beggar. Not dead
"No, not dead yet, Mr. Ascot," said the
policeman, respectfully, as be recognized
the speaker, well known as the wealthi
est and most influential householder on
his beat, "but I'm afraid will be, before I
reach the station house: And he dosen't
seem to be a common sort of beggar
"Not the common sort, eb ? Neither
is he," said Mr. Ascot, as be looked at the
boy's clothes. "Have him in here. John
ring the bell—why the duce do you stand
there gaping—don't you see the boy's dy
ing from cold and hunger? I can walk
up the steps well enough alone."
A moment more, and Mr. Ascot him-
Self led thpi,tvay into a warm spacious
"There's a roaring fire ready," he said.
"I always have tine waiting for me, when
I come borne from dining nnt. Where's
the house=keeper? Didn't I tell John to
bring her at once? Alt! here 31r'. Soto
ers comes. Something to revive him
quick. Gnacious heavens! if he should
die after all."
"Poor little dear !" said Mrs. Someri,as
She pouretra restorative down his throat.
-There, Jane, give me the blankets, while
I wrap him Up. •Ah I he's coming to."
The boy opened his eyes, looked in a
far of way at blis. -Somers, and then
glanced dreamingly, about the room.—
Evidently his senses bad not yet quite
come hack.
"Mother, mother," he murmured. - "I
can'eflud grandfather -41.d it's so cold.
I'm so—
His . head dripped on her shoulder, and
his eyes c l osed - again One of his h ands
which op , to. ibis moment,. bad been
tightly she, opened weakly and a note
fell to the floor,
t ~z;.,~ ; ' F~,~..
Mrs. Somers did not see the note.—
Something in the boy's look bad started
her;, she gave a quick glauce up at her
muster; then she began to tremble all
Mr. Ascot, who had been standing by
her, full of interested anxiety, did not
observe Lis look, for his attention had
been attracted by the note, which he new
stooped to pick up. Then he proceeded
to take out his glasses, in order to read
the superscription.
"Perhaps this may throw some light
on tho matter," he said. "The poor and
has been sent on an errand,and has faint
ed from cold, and perhaps hnngLr. What!
What! Good God I" his hands were
shaking like a leaf in autumn wind. Itt
the deep stillness the pap..r rattled with
a startling noise. "It can't be—it can't
be I Mrs. Somers, your eyes are younger
than mine— read, read—is that address
—is it—mine—Thorton Ascot
As he spoke, in choked, convulsive
gasps, Mrs. Somers leaned forward to
read. The motion roused the boy again,
and he opened his eyes; this time with
more consciousness in them; and he fix
ed a long, questioning, puzzled look on
lir. kscut.
"Merciful heavens!" the latter said,
staggering like one struck with a sudden
palsy, "it is her eyes—her eyes—"
With these words he fell back senseless,
the hall-open letter fluttering from his
fingers to the floor. Fortunately the po
liceman was in time to catch him, and
lay him on the sofa.
For a moment the boy was forgotten,
every one pressing around the master of
the house.
"Ia it a stmke ?" asked the policeman,
anxiously. "What does it mean ?"
At any other time, Mrs. Somers would
have been reticent about family affairs;
but she was too furred to think clearly.
Surprised out of herself, she took her
audience, unconsciously, into her confi
"No, it's not a stroke," she answered
with the experience of long years of nurs•
mg. "Hit face isn't awry, you see; and
he's only limp, not paralyzed. There I've
opened his cravat, and now June, bring
some water. It's but a fainting fit ; he
often has 'ens when he's worried; often.
I mean, since his daughter went away
She ran off. y3U know, 'most ten years
ago. He's never forgetter her. Or rath
er she's never, leastways of late years
asked to he forgiven. 'the last time was
when she came herself, just, atter she
was married." all. this while Mrs. Somers
was busy in trying to revive her master,
chafing his hands, holding smelling salts
to hint, even ordering the wudow open
ed, "on a night as bad as this. He turn
ed her front his doors in a perfect rage:
I never seed him so angry, afore or since.
But he's been sorry for it, many mid
many a time, I know. I've heard him
sigh so! He was a thinking of her
have forgiven all years ago, if she
would only have come again. But she
was as pried as him ; I don't know wh ch
was the prouder. She went to forms
parts, with her husband—he'd linen her
music teacher, you see ; that's what made
Mr. Ascot so angry ; and she has not been
heard of for these years and years. Tltere
he's coining to; what a sigh! Stand
aside Mr. Policeman, please,and give hint
some air. Poor man ! Bat he's nobody
to blame but himself, after all. I don't,
nphold disobedience in chiidrsn,of con rze ;
but a dear-r. sweeter girl than his (laugh •
ter, Margaret a.i,t, her mime, never was.—
Many and many'. tit time I've carried
her in my arms, when she was a babv,ami
her mother was alive. How are you feel
ing now, sir ?"
This last sentence was addressed to her
master, whoovith a deep drawn sigh open
ed hio eyes.
"What, what is the matter?" he said
looking vacantly from one to the other.
"Yea! I remember," putting his band
'to hie brow. "Margaret—'
His eye wandered about. fell upon the
boy, who during this episode,had entirely
recovered conscionsness, and was now
looking up. with a strange sort of wonder
at Mr. Ascot.
"Please, sir," said the lad, seeing he
had attracted the old man's eye, "Please,
sir, can you tell me where Mr. Ascot
lives:' I was to go to him—only I lost
my way—mother's very sick—and she's
bad nothing to eat to-day—"
With these words he broke down, with
a great sob, the tears streaming down his
thin. wan cheeks.
"Where's the note—the note? &der
the carriage," said Mr. ASCOt, incoherent
ly, rising to his feet. "Is it from Mar
garet ? Did somebody say .:he was starv•
ing ?" His poor, weak, shaking hands
vainly tried again to unfold the paper,
which the policeman handed to him.—
"I—l—am not as strong as I used to be.
I think I am getting old," and he looked,
piteously, at Mrs. Somers, and sank again
on the sofa.
"Drink this, sir," said the housekeeper,
handing him a restorative_
He drank it, and railed. "Ab ! it is her
—her writing." speaking to himself. "She
is a widow. Her only child is named—
after—after me—"
He stowpedireading,and turned to look
at. the boy.
"Are you grandfather ?I said the latter
timidly. "4think yon must be, for moth
er haf a picture she looks at, and cries
over, and it's like you."
The Letter fell again to the floor. But
this time was because he opened his arms
and the boy, catching his meaning, came
to him.
"You won't let her die, will you ?"
said the boy looking piteously into hid
"Die, die!" cried the old man, rising
up; and his voice and air were that of
youth. "She shall not die. Where is - the
carriage ? I will go at once. She shall
come home. tonight. The carriage I
say," he cried, airnost angr ly, and he
turned toward the door, where the foot
man HOW appeared.
"The carriage waits, sir," said the ser
vant obsequiously.
'Get your cloak and bohnet, Mrs. Som.
ere. 'few blankets—a bit of food—
there's not a minute to lose. Good God!
Margaret dying, and we wasting time
here. No, my brave little fellow," ho said,
"your mother awl) not die.',
In a few minutes, during which the
thoughtful Mrs. Somers bad provided a
biscuit ar•d some hot tea fur the boy, the
little party set forth. While the carriage
is rolling over the snow, its .destination
being one of the most distant and obscure
streets in the metropolis, let us say a few
words about the daughter.
Maraget Ascot lied been one of those
sweet tempered, sympathetic natures,that
every-body loved. Beautiful, accomplish
ed, wealthy, and well-born, she had
crowds of Suitors; but at nineteen she
turned from them all, and gave her heart
to a penniless lover. This was not be
cause she was foolishly romantic, like so
many others; but because her suitor was
worthy of her in every way, except in
riches. He was only a poor music teach.
er, an Italian exile, for this was in days,
now fortunately,long ago,before Italy was
free, and when to be an Italian patriot
meant banishment, or life-long imp.-mon
molt, or even death. Andrea Fillippo
had, when hardly more than a boy, joined
in the insurrection of '4B, and had been
compelled, after the failure, to fly the
country. He had come to America, and
being penniless, had been , compelled to
take up the first pursuit that offered it
self. In his own land, nearly everybody
had some knowledge of music; but An
drea was an amateur of more than ordi
nary merit; and he naturally became a
teacher of singing. Mci-egret Ascot was
his favorite pupil. He saw in her every
thing that youthful manhood, in its high
est type, admires; she saw in him a hero
and a martyr. Compared with the prosa
ic young men of business, or the cold.
calculating lawyers, or the idle meta of
fashion, who constituted the bulk of-11)er
admirers, he was a prince in elisguLie, a
piing odl Parents do not snfficiiitly
make allowances for the imaginative ele
ment in their daughters. They fancy,
that. at nineteen, girls can feel as their
mothers do at forty; that the day husks
of a matter of fact life are sufficient for
them. it is not so,and Mr. Ageot;tliough
a sensible man in other respects could not
understand why his daughter was cold to
her wealthy lovers, and had given her
heart to the exile.
When 'Margaret, hopeless of altering
his opinion, finally eloped with her lover,
his wrath knew no bounds. He refused
to answer her letters announcing the
marriage, and when, a few weeks later,she
came in person,he hud her literally thrust
from the door.
. After vainly trying to get some other
empl , yment, for Mr. Ascot's influence de
prived Andrea' of all his pupils; the young
couple went abroad. For awhile they liv
ed in London. but after Magenta, Andrea
returned to Italy. and there struggled on
until he died. lie left his widow penni
less. •he had only money enough toms
her passage to America, whither she had
resolved t•. come, in hopes, by a last ap
peal, to soften her father's heart, It was
a winter voyage, and Margaret canght
vailrpt c,ld, which lhrea•.-ncd on inflOw
nitiOl of the lungs. She could only
crawl feebly to the nearest lodging, on
the night she landed, a miserable attic.•—
The next day she wrote a note to her
rather. trusting to her boy to deliver itais
she was too ill to go hers•lf. Knowing
that Mr. Aso t would be out during the
day, she had deferred sending 'he lad un
tiltoward nightfall; but hardly had be
left, before she began to think of the per•
ils he rut, alone in the great city. Per
haps, she said to herself, he had fallen
down some open are& Perhaps he had
souk, chilled and insensible,M some bank
of snow. When eight o'clock struck.
from a neighboring steeple, and still her
boy did not return, she became almost
wild with fright. Ten o'clock came, but
still no eon. She-listened intently for the
sonnd of feet. But she heard nothing
but the roar of the storm. At last her
anxiety a..d fear rose to phrenzy. She
was sure now her boy was dead. Eleven
o'clock struck. H. r candle had burned
down iuto the socket, and was almost
upon the point of expiring. Suddenly
the sound of carriage wheels, muffled by
the snow was heard. The carriage stopp
ed. Surely that was the opening of the
street door.there were steps ascending the
stairs; yes! she could not be mistaken,
they were the steps of her boy. The door
of her room flew open and, , her son rushed
"Mother, mother," he cried,flinging his
arms eagerly nround her, "I came as soon
as I could. And, oh! mother, I have
brought grandfather. Seel"
She looked past her son, scarcely be
lieving her eyes. There, just b-hind her
boy, stood her father. She rose up in
bed ; she held out her arms. -
"Father," she sobbed.
"Margaret' My child !" And then
they were locked in each other's arms,and
both were in tears.
"I can die in peace, no," she mnrmnr
ed, after a while, as she clung to her lath
ter's breast, "since You have forgivenme.
You will promise to take care of Thorn
ton !"
"Die," cried the father, rising bolt up
right, and fairlyAing her from bed. all
the streagtiFof his youth coming back in
that supreme moment. "You shall not
.die. You are coming licroe'Vritli us. We
have, brought blankets food, everything,
the risk is not so great as remaining an
other night here; physicians, the best,
shall be called in. No! you shall not
die. Yon have not come home to die."
Nor did she die. Our simple tale has
already been too long in telling, or we
might narrate how the sense of rest and
peace that grew up i i her now, the skill
ful care of the best physicians, and the
knowledge tliat,lfetboy:e futtfre'i Tyra as::
sured,4ll iienthined to Mork a cure,sifirch
otherwise might have been regarded as
almost miraculous. -
To-day there is no more beautiful wo.
man of her years. in that great city, than
Margaret, Shia lives only for‘her,-.father
and her boyriliet canto at leait, before
evergthing else. But she does not seclude
herself entirely from society. To the
select and cultivated circle of which she
.is the center and chief ornament, she
gives freely of ' her varied itecomplish
talents and of herergnisite charm of man
But the memory. of her dead husband
is still green in her heart, and : ever
be; and though men of high. ptation and
even world-Wide colebriety would woo her,
if she wonld,to be the light of their home,
they know, One and all, that her first and
last love , lies buried, in that lonely grave,
ou the blue shores ache Biviera,to which
every year or two, she makes a pilgrim
It is an untaibg theme—old as creation
—the faults; of women
No doubt Adam harped on rainy days,
When there ; was nothing to be done at
gardening, and perhaps he had some
cause for complaint, for every, intelligent
person will admit that he was sadly taken
in by that metamorphosed rib of his.
. Now a days wherever you go .you hear
the same doleful story.
Young men are afraid to marry because
the young women are so useless. All•they
are fit for is to dress op like dolls, and sit
in the parlor, and thrum the helpless pi
Well, who is to blame?
Not the young ladies themselves, moat
Somebody says it is their mothers, but
we don't tllink so.
Don't everybody know that the young
men of the present day want the young
women to be useless? Don't "they want
them to dress up and sit in the parlor
Don't they praise their uneunned fore
heads and their lily hands,and admire the
sweep of their silken trails,and the.glitter
of their jewelry ?
The pretty talk that we hear sometimes
about girls helping their mothers in the
kitchen is beautiful on paper, but who ex
pects anything of the kind from a young.
lady ?
Baking bread, and coddling preserves,
and sweeping, and making beds are not
conducive otti white hands and delicate
complections; and when it conies to
washing clothes and scrubbing floors—
why, good gracious! that is all!
Young Men never go into the kitchens
to watch their darlings 'make pies and
black 'stores—anywhere out of novels;
they don't want to, and the girls don't
them tot .They all know that Maggie
looks like any scullion without her pow
der; aed smut on her face is not becom
ing; - ..,•ainksvreat and steam will take her
hair out of\eurl ; and strawberries and
peaches. hotrever delicious they may be to
the palate, pi.t one finger ends in hope
less mourning.
Nu; the young man of the present
day when he calls on the young lady, ex
pects to sit in the softest corner of the so
fa, and Maggie is expected to be dressed
like one of the last fashion plates, with at
least twenty ruffles on her dress, and a
bustle- as large as Sallie's. or Jennie's, or
Annie's, or else she isn't stylish. •
You just-listen a moment to Ihe cons
versation of our young men as they smoke
their cigars in. front of their club room
ato ...h . r . '
"There goes Miss B. Dined stylish'
looking -girl; grooms her hair well;
Creases in elegant taste; plays a tip top
game °licher, too."
"There comes Miss C. Drab and wine
color; striking costume; got a handsome'
foot, and not afraid to show it. By
lieorge! a fellow needn't be ashamed to
drive out with such a stylish looking wo
When little Miss D. passes by in her
plain dress, with nobody's dingy hair on
but her own, and a hat full a year behind'
the fashion, all the "fellows" stare-at her
and make remarks about one's grand
mother, and Notdia Ark, and wonder
Barnum—isn't after her. Not one of
them save anything about the fact that
she is a sensible woman, and has spent
her life in the kitchen cooking and mend
ing for hei father and half a dofen- young
brothers and sisters. Oh, no. Anil yet
men are all the time crying out that they
want sensible women for wives.
Why doh't they get them then ? .
The sensible girls of this generation
wilt mostly be old maids, because men go
in for the girls who giggle the most, who
are dashing, who sport the most false
hair, dud who paid the most atrociously.
And really it has seen so long since a
real woman, as God made her,, has beets
in fashion; that we doubt it the men of
to-day would know to what specimen she
belonged it they should suddenly behold
Gentlemen say: "Oh, ladies ought to
dress with more simplicity !" and then
they quotti Paul, etc.
Suppose you try the sweet simplicity
doge, young ladies, and go to a ball or a'
party in the traditional scant skirted
white muslin with blue iibbous, and your
hair au nalurel. .
Yon will have the pleasure 'of playing
wall flower to the end of tte chapter.
If anyb4dy thinks dress is at no .con
sequence, just let her get into a railway
car with ratified mile() gown, and an old
shawil, and a last year's bonnet on-,- All
the men Will be reading newspapers.—
They will he very deeply absorbed. The
papers that day will he e artieularly in
teresting. Credit Mobilter. or the last
murder COO farce will be especially fas
cinating. ; They will sit near the end of
the seat next the aisle and never see you.
You mayistand there with your arms full
of packages; and shift from one foot :to
the oilier' and stagger against their backs
at every lurch of the engine until the
crack of doom, before any of these gen.
tlemen, who are- crying 'out fur plainly
dressed Women, will give you a seat.
Next day you just go and dress op in
your iteW spring silk. with its frills and
flotinces, , and your stylish Dolman, and
your clu#ming Parish hat, and your deli
cate gloves, and your floating' curls. and
go into 4 railway car. and half a &met
gentlemen will forget that a 'newspaper
ever existed. and insiat that , they ireatly
prefer admitting : to sitting.
Don'titve know..,,
,Haven't we tried it ?
Gentlinten, reform yourselves! If you
really desire women to sensible, en
courageithern so. Have courage to
be polite to ladies who tiro not dressed in
the height of fashion. Don't be f .iever
talkingiabout style. Show the ladies by .
your conduct that yon want them sensi
hle,yinne minded, and useful , and you will
have them so, for they will 4o..anythir4
to pleago_you. •
The fllystery' or giollosif Ash
You want to know about the annuli •
That ImOnened down to Holler 43117
' Wall i If anVbodv knows,
He wears atioutinr stile of clothes,
'Twas Deacari fimeral,
And all,was pin' well,
When them there Temp!AM up in town,
'On an eseundoinrain cum down: -
I driv the mourners, and "Jiib Fresh"
He went ahead or the procesh
Andna he neared the railroad track,
We deed that train a comic' back.
Jo turned around and winked at,nte,
And fronihis vest he drew a V.
"ru bet you thrtt, that.tbis ere bone
Crosses ahead of that czeurse."
The, mourners they ant up is yell,
And theu'was inlism' fora spell,
It was amnia' how that crowd
Cavorted upward in aloud,
We piled tbern.victims on the sward,
About thrie-quarters of a cerd„
On top'we put the Deacon's meat,
But where Jo went, we all was beat
We searched the reins or that train,
But t all our aarcbin',wits in vain,
And to this day it doesbeat me
Where the pleir Went that held iliatY.
Humors of Tolelrraph.
Not long since IS countryman came in
to a telegraph office in BangorAtaine.with
a message, end asked that it be sent im
mediately. The operator took the mes
sage as usual, put his instrument in com
munication with , its destination. ticked
off the signals Upon the key, and then,
according to 'the rules of the office, hung
the message-paper on the hook with otli
era that had been previously sent, that at
night they might ull be filed for preserva
tion. The man-lounged around tor some
time, evidently unsatisfied. "At last."
says the narrator of 'the incident, "his
patience was exhausted, and he belched
out, 'Ain't on going-to send that dis
patch.?' The operator portely informed
him that he had sent it. .'No, yez ain't'
replied the indignant roan; there it is
now on the hook.'" - • •
So faiaathe , exact nse of languaga was
cencerned, the man•was right. Still more
ludicrous mistakes sometimes ocear,{ Thus
the Gentian papers reported that at Carl
sruhe, toward, the close of the late
aged mother came to the telegraph office
currying a dish of sauerkraut, which-she
desired to have telegraphed to , Rastadt.—
Her son mast receive theknant by San , '
day. The operator could not convince
her that the telegraph wIA not capable of
such aperfqrnoauee. "How could so Tan.) ,
soldiers have been sent to France by tele
graph ?" she asked, and'ffnally departee
Almost every operator meets .with
equally amusing instaucea. One recentlyi
related the following incident:_ A gentle
man came to my office to send a message,
and tifterwritilig it, waited, as'people of
ten do-at small offices, to see it sent. I
called 'Mew,' and the operator at the oth
er or the 1;uo eamo to .the key, and
Said, •Bus - y
--wait a Minute.' So I leaned
back in my chair to wait, when the gen
tleman said,vaave you sent it ?' I said,
'No; , they say they are busy—to wait a
minute whereupon he sa:(l,Jooking sus.
prised, why,,i didn't hear thern;',. and,
then added, brightening" utf, as if .he had
thought of the rettiori, 'but Vas 11 -
deaf in one ear Y I think , I manageirto
keep a straight face till be/eft, butit was
hard work."—Harper' s .Magazine for, ,A a
gust. ,
A t n Welt {Mogen.
"Nate hand you are,:thin, me darling'
mid one Irish hod - carr er
"You muuut the !wider wid yer hod , full
of bricks, and setter them on, the ~heads
of us as ye go, sii."
"Be Molt Kelly, thin, I'd carr y yer own
swats self up from the flags to the roof,
an' duwu widuut yer , bein' spilt."
"Ye couldn't do it, sir; I lay a trifle ye
could n't." •
a noggin I would thin; a*ito tolui
me but?"
f‘ iVe'll thry,. thin ; tnrnbla in l"
Fearful as the esperiment may seem, it
was successful, and Dement, once pore
landing the adc'etitprous Pat on the pare;
mi.nt,said teimnithlibtly,s•The price or the
,stuff, if ids eyel , Hacen't.l Won it
"Ye' have;f. admitted. Pat, -relnotantly.
lugging r out hishalt-pence; ."as .4, hap-,
'pens, I'mni. hate„ . I'd rather loseapythiog
than my *ages', an' just as we were 'OM
in' -by the second itary - -Twas'in 'Oat-
•A Elaine Jesse. • . •
An enterprising gentleman corn Port
load, Dfaine, aCedrding to ,illoPreis
that: city; While travelling reOntly iti 'the
interior of .Ithasouri;heing•uitcertain•as.ta
whether-he was on the. right -road, , stop s
ped at a farm house, to ingnire., The,lady,
of the house; a Stant, 'boron"' 'White iio-
OSICI, unable to infortn - hitti, referred him
to her hustamd;who was at-work in a Gehl
near by.. Chi going to that r place he.feund
the husband was a colored Mali: 'Stop - -
ping a moment at the horse hii return .
he said to* the wife. olinw is it thut.a' go4d
looking -women:like-yourself should hare*
married a_calored man:r
• "Oh. that?s nOthing,"" s,sid !Alp; "6, 1 5.
.a - ghtid deal worse- •
"Ilow'could-lhat'be?" . •' ' "
"Why she married a man ftoniMairel"
Tin Girl of , Ihe Period does: , not con
descead-to notice trifles. ,. Oneiof tbis YA•
riPty recently had occasion to,reritpito'her,
mother. She,edds, in n - postseript, idease
direct j?oniletteit to Mrs. Xoliff'Snoth.-L.
laro - married.'; Short, if not sweet. , ' '•'•
BEOACSE ber parents wished liar-to
marry it man she did not love;Misf Mary
S. Day's, of )3ellvim. ,Jowar, shot. herself.
IE was case of unquestionable insanity..
The - sensible gad' accoMpliali et' aroma n
the period hive
TUE riottiViliet)oline nip not alio iiredie,
sit down ta the sbacii ail& go td - eke?
wiiiikon.duty,, andthey. want to knoiit.if
`thigistke liberty for MrPiqhgar,:f9re,o 3 !,
4,111 bled. ;
ti '. i; ~. ::.~;a 1.
Varleues. v
Prison te endear absents. ;,
'l.te E irighest art is artlessness.
New name for tight , boots—corncrib.
The crow that has no voice—The scare
!The Captain Jack collar is the.nenratt
thing iu the New York, furnishing
A Cumin uati " mdn — has poured more
thau ppAino 49wu at.-dgripfatet
past ten
"Driver, are you tutinhig 'Mk . time to
day, I"' : o .‘lio,air,'! was Abe—Steed •htni:—
"we are runniug fur cash." ,
An , eocep trio character jn•.4tni t ban -
cise6 invtiriably walks the street vfittriv\
stick of candy in . ble mouth.
Barnum 'will spend 870,000 .for adver
tising. tkis : yoar and plUke4 $89%900 by it.
Printer's ink pays. .
A girl in Kansas medlar beau for breach
of promise, and settled it., for a pair of
steel and eighty bushels of, cop, ,:•
Lanin Fair has at last settled op her
accounts and she finds it:costa her 811,000
to shoot her victim. _
Among the. names recorded on.the sol
id 'rimic on the summit of lifiiiindimak
Mountain, N. is that of. Marquis Ile
An Omaha girl introdilced a_ romantic
mode of snici.fe. She stuffed 'her lover's
letters down her throat - .until she suffo
, .
The first woman inibistottntirappoin
ted to 611 the'qifftho 'of De - puty tollerbtor
is a Mrs. Dr. Moody, of Grensbnrg, Indi
'Women who violate the city ordinan
ces are cond - emned 'to sweep the - itreet!f
io Mobile. -They do it of their own ao;)
cord in most cities. .
A St. Pant 'wornan,•who used 'to keep ,
three girls, now does her own . work cheer,'
fully. She found her husbund throwing,
kisses at them.
The Joliet_ (14 '.Methodist Episcopal
Conference has voted it - Self willing to li
cense Mrs. Jennie E. Willing to preach
the gospel.
A Texas mother-in-law; finding her
daughter's h narand. impenrums .to.thei
dinary methods of killing, vindicated her : ,
authority by ihtioting him.
4 man named liixon,,formetly a street;
beggar in Mobile, has just died ia Oxegott-,
leaving a fortune estimated at half
a mil
James Fisk, father of the late "Prince
of Erie," Is making a tour of WisconsitC.
cities, .engaged in the eale of a pat.9nkt . carr,.
pet tack. •.
"What is given to the poor is laid. op,
in hia'ven.” This is undoubtedly: 01i rea
son so few give to the pistw- - -they: nerd'
exithet to welt again. -
A.California paper discharged its toesi4,
editor because he was so mach oiscupW
in. truing to throw i zee a*inst Solna:I
bar-fteeper'stroy full,. , • •
The Mapville, Ky.,Bullelin announces•:
a . Sunday-echool pin. we, and "trply..hopes,
that roe Once our eiticris.ivill leav-e their ,
revolvers and bowie knivOS lit Vinine." '
An old lady front the country, with eix
married. daughters, went !Ito Apsustrk
'ter . the NZ;
rons of Husbandry. Sil , nteatit bfisitiess.
A Texan town was recently 'visit r el;byl . '
a clergyman„ for the first time in- its bis.:l
tA.ry, and the hospitable,•
.posed getting up a horse-ruce.fur
tertain me n "
A Peekskill man has ground a, cotree ; .
mill ten houre'without stopping:for'n bet
of 82.50. 11. e would prollably - baicrehitra=
ed more bad' he. been working for' *n;
A Vermont paper says young lady—
from the country called, at a. book ; stoory l
the other dap anal asked for a. "deck. of , .
them new postal keeida 2 =dotiblo
. •
4 'lt you don't want tho 'sobt, doret4or,.i
up the chimney, was the reply of IA "edi-i . .."
tor to "respectable" - trho • ItiquSite'd "hint
not to mentnui the fact,that thoy had beefs:
arraigniA in the police, copirt..
A negro preacher in Oeorght, in trans- -
:lating . the . sentence, "The harvest is past,
‘ season is ended r and tny..soul . , is-pot
saida," pnt it, "De corn ha's been crihbed,',
der ain't any more 'work, arid de liebbil is
still:foolin- ividdiszoinrituriityi"
"Yes, take her and weloothe," respond=
ed un 111inois farms:', wtieu ilyiiung man
Asked for biebloshing disisglifer"She's
pin away with a schisal-rnasters!.q lo Pa
with a" shoteman shOt :Wjidpat,
whipped tier mother,. dn'a the BOVIII4r you
take•li et. the. better: , • •
A Georgia: , 3nati lieing `asked .
thought a certain politician ti e Stith' "
would steal, .replied.: , tiSteall tSfl.
Jere, if he wad paralyzed stud, hamstrung.,
wouldn't' mist tho„Desert: of . - ; .
,Sahara. *with' the biggest - anchor of tliq
Great •Eastern. StealrFehduld •esiq
would:'.' •".. ' "•
Some boys dropped an 'anvil 'weigh- - ,
ing :200 poiinda : oat . - or Ea
story window on tbo bead of it negro who
was passing and holiad . them arrested.-1
no said be was willing to lot the lhove •
have fun, but when theyjainmed aton-
Vellum's bat down over. •eyes, and%
spoiled Et in that way, the law. must- lako!
its course. . - -.'!
The dottie'dfthe'eapitel:at Wrishingten
is or iron' of 8,000,00
pounds weight, 'and' is 180 feet . higher:
than the Wtishingtcin trionatneatit
tirnore. GS -feet higher thin 'tho 'Bunker
Hill -mannment, , and trrehty-three - . feet
higher than. the Trinity mhurch. epire st
New York.
, .
11.artfgrd geutleman, sr,ho bad tar..
Fled late a a wino supper. found_his Rifu
waitinkliis return' in a high state bf bet -
icinsness: Said she: ' "11dre beeh
:waitingand rocking hi - the chair • 44)• my head spins:raund like a toplm L"Jess . . so a i
wire; whera,l've.beeui" .respopdpa
"It's Ci iiiiat4usphererr • .