THE MONTROSE • DEMOCRAT.
VOLUME XXX.
E. B. HAWLEY & Co., Proprietors.
Business Cards.
J. IL Ad. 11. MeCOLLUM, -
ATTOWITTII ♦'c Law Mee °Ter theilank. Montrose
Pa. 'Montrose, Ilay 10, ISTI.
D. TO: SEARLE,
ATTORNEY AT LAW. office over tbe Store Of M.
Dessancr, In the Brick Block, Montrose. Pr. tart c
W: W. a.ci.117771,
c/..IMNET AND CHAIR MANDPACTIIIIEII9,...Iroo
of Melo street. Montrose, Pa. 3ang. 1. 1869.
M. C. SUTTOY,
&ectioneer, and Insurance Agent
~l 6glf Friends - villa, Pa:
C. S. C/LBERT,
Q. IE3. ..fienaticmecoctr.
saglptf Great Bend. Pa.
111 R L Y,
BvoottorLoor. •
Ant. 1, Ite9. Address, Broaktyn,Pd
JOHN GRO►ES,
aSIIIONABLE TAII.III, Montrose. Pi Shop over
Chandler's Store. Al , orders Oiled In dteterateatpla.
Cutting done on short noose. and warranted to in.
J. F. SHOEMAKER,
*Donley at Law, Montrose. Office nett door to J
R. DeWitt's [tore, opposite the bank-
Montrose, Jan. 11. 1512.—n0.1-17.
L BALI) ITIN,
Arrens.r AT Law. Montrose, Pa OffiCO with Jame!
E. `srntl, Erq.
Montrose, Anvott 20, 1871. tE
A. 0. WARREN,
ATTORNEY Ai' LAW. Boonty, Bank Pity. Pension
and Exam , on Claims attended to. Office Sr.
..oar below Boyd's Store, Montrose.P.. (An. WO
W A. CROS.S.IIOS,
Attorney et 1-str. Office at the Court House. In the
Cornutteeioner'e Office. W. A. CROSSIUM.
Montrose. Scot. Gth.
3frICENZIE, d CO.
D.alars la Dry Goods, Clothing, Ladles and Mitres
Sae Shoes. \leo, :nrcote for the great American
Tea and (Disc Company. [Montrose, July 17, `72,1
DR. W. T. SMITH,
Rooms at Ms dwellinz, newt door onst of the
Repuh3con priutiog ofike.. Wilco hour,. from 7A. at.
t• I r. 1. Muutro•e_ May 3, 1071-11
LAW OFFIC&
y rmn & WATsoN. Attorney. at Law, at the old Mbar
of ftentley &Fitch. hlontnc, Pa.
L. r. mca. [Jan. '71.1 w. w. warsow.
J ■ ,S.t UTTER,
PARDIONSBLE TAILOR. SLop over J. R. DeWitt's
steß.
llobtreee Feb. 19th 1913.
4RE7. TURRELL
Dealer in Illsonlcel., Mint*, Oil..
Ilye Teak spices, Fancy Owed*, Jewelry. Per.
kamel7, Jcc., Brick Bloc[, Montrose, Po. Fo.tahllohed
Feb. 1, 1:111.
DR. W. L. RICILIRIPSON,
PaTSIVIAN S WItGEON, tender. his orofecolona
•ntees to Um eitincns of Montrose and cirinlty.
Oface - st Itt•rusidonce, on thy corner cunt of nut rr
Pros. Foundry. f Actg. I. 1369.
CHARLES N. STODDARD
)Marla Boats and Sims., Hate and Cap.. Leather sna
Math Street, tat door belt* Hojd's Stotr.
Work made to order. and repairing done onstly.
Montrose, Jan. 1. in:O.
LEirrs KNOLL
SHAVING AND HAIR DRESSI7O.
Shop la Um view Pastor See halldine. where he
at famed ready to attend all who may waot •nythlng
I. Ma line. Mantra. Pa. Oct, IS. IaCS.
DA S. W DA YTON,
rBTSICIAN d. SURGEON. tender. his service. to
the citizens of tirent Bend and vicinity. 003ce ■t his
residence. opposite Barnum Rouse, O•I Bend vilisre.
Ulm. Ist. tad.—ti
DR. D. A. LATHROP,
•datalatars Sugar. Tasaa•t. na.TER. at tto. Foot or
Caestaat street. Call sod colonial la all Cbroote
Diatiaaes.
limatnos, Jaz, It; '7l—an3—tf.
CHARLEY monnls,
TER RATTI BARBER, has moved Ms shop to the
handing occupied by J. It. DeWitt, where he Is pre
patted to do all kiwis of work In hi. line. such as ma
king switches, puffs. etc All work done on short
bailee and prices low. Please call and see me.
IL 17171:1ZITT
Dealer .n Staple and Fancy Du Gooda,Cnockery, Wird.
WV!. Iron, Stoves, Drags. Oile, and Paiute. Boots
and Stine*, Hats and Caps, Fara, Baialo °ro
taries. Provisions. kn.
New-lbltord, I a., Non, 6, '72--t t.
EXCHANGE HOTEL.
D. L. McCILACKEN. arighc. to Inform tbspnblictbet
basing meted the Exchange Hotel In Montrose. be
1• note prepared toaccommudate the traveling pubte
rn Ina-class etyle
Mumma. LL:- !E.
BILLINGS STROUD.
FIRE AND LIFE I: I I.9UtIANCR ACENT. All
tombless attended to promptly. on fair terms. Oftlee
Aral door east of the bank or Wm. B. Cooper At Co.
Publle Avenue., Montrose, Pa. (Aag.1.1841.
idly 17, 1871.1 Btr..roos ntraocrn.
J. D.
nenrcorrente Paramus env Smarms. Mao permanently
located himself In Montrose, Pa., where he trill prompt
ly attend to all call, In hie profeeidon with which he may
be favored. °Mee and teeldenee wen of the Court
Rouse, near Fitch S Sirateorie odic,
Moutroee. February S.
E CIIUBCILILL,
Jeetice of the Peace: office over L. 8. I..enhehre• stem,
Great Send baronet. Stogylebeetta Conoty, Permit,
Iles the net - letneot or the dockets of the Late Isaac
Ileekbow. demised. Office hours from Ito 19 o'clock
a. a . and from I to 41 o'clock p. m.
floret Bead. Oct. 2,1072.
BURNS-cf; 37CIIOLS,
:As ABB la Drugs, Medicines, Cbcsalai. Dye.
malls, Pal ota.olls, Varnish. /Attars, Spicie.Fancy
Patent Madlaines. Perfaineryand Toilet Ar
ticle, or Proire,eption'• carefully compounded.—
iklek Block, Monlrose, Pa.
A. B. Banal',
Pat, 21,
•
GET ALL KINDS OF
JOB PRINTING, ETC ., 9
iZECTITED AT TEM
DEMOCRAT OFFICE,
Warr Szva Perm. Annum.
hy fott`o anntr.
TILE CARVER'S LESSON.
—o—
ADELAIDE PEOCSOIL
—o—
me no mere, skill of subtle
No mere practice of a dexterous=
Will auttko, without a hidden spirit.
That we may, ur may not, understand.
Anti those quaint old fragments that are left us
have their power in this—the Carver brought
Earnest care, and reverent patience, only
Worthily to clothe some noble thought.
Shut then in the petals of the flowers,
Round the stems Of all the lilies twine,
!Tide beneath each birds or angel's pinion,
Some wise meaning or thought divine.
Piece in stony hands that pray forever
Tender winds of peace, and strive to wind
Round the leafy scrolls and trews' niches
Sonic, true, loving message to your kind.
Some will praise, some blame and. soon forget
ting,
Come and go, nor even pause Pi gaze ;
Only now and then a passing stranger
Just may loiter with a word of praise.
But I think, when years have floated onward,
And the stone is gray. and dim, and old,
And the harts forgotten that has carved it,
And the heart that dreamt it still and cold.
There may come some weary soul, d'erladen
With perplexed struggle/a his brain,
Or, It may be, fretted with life's turmoil,
Or, made sore with some perpetual pain.
Then, I think those A my hands will open
Then the gentle lilies overflow,
lkilh the blessing and the loving_.token
Iltat you hid there many years ago.
And the tendrils will unroll, and teach him
flow to solve the problem of his pain:
And Coe birds' and angels' wings shake down
ward
On his heart n sweet and tender rein.
While he marvels at his fancy, reading
Meaning•in that quaint and anrient scroll,
Little mussing that the loving Carver
Left a message for his weery;pnh.
T n
•
I don't think a goose is a swan,
I don't think a sheep is a rabbit,
But I think, when I'm thinking thereon,
That thinking's a dangerous habit.
For some people think they are right,
And some people think they are clever;
And some think that black must be white,
And some think of nothing whatever.
And some people think of themseires,
And some people think of their neighbors
And some think the gold that one delves
Is eery poor pay fur one's labors.
For my part, I think that I timaght,
That I (hunk while a thinking nod musing,
That thinking in renily worth nought,
Be 'ause thinking, 1 think, is contusing.
The cftarg Zeller.
NOT JEST YET
--o
Thirty yearn ago, London was a much
jollier place in every way thau it is now.
it had an Milli. idnality of its own then ;
its big hotels were untmilt, its Houses
of Parliament were unfinished; it was
just, a big, brown, busy city,with a splen
, did river running slap through it. Fur
it It‘i a river then, with shores and no.
Jile bridges; now it has but a stone trough
with iron drain pipes across it. One rode
on the top of houses then, or darted about
in hansoms; now, I declare, when I visit
London, I spend all my time in a
coal-cellar, when. there is an escape of gas
and where all the hot °lndere front the
kitchen fire are cup i I—l mean the
Metropolitan Railway.
Thirty years ago I was in London, lir
.
mg on a splendid pittance, and much
I troubled in the matter of dinners.
One Sunday, I remember, my funds
were getting low, very low. f lied de
termined to remain in my lodgings and
support nature on tobacco smoke; but
my hunger was too strong. I had a few
shillings left., and the evening wore on,
and as the cravings of my appetite in
creased. resolution broke down. I put
on my hat and hurried out in quest of a
dinner.
When I made up my mind to go to the
Recesses for dinner, it was because I knew
that there was no other place open the
prices of which would be within my
means. How dismal it looked this Sun
day evening, that long low room, its ta
bles almost deserted, save for one or two
men here and there nodding over a plate
of buiscuits. There was pea-soup that
night, I remember, and it was rather good
too. The fish was fishy, the joint was
reduced to a stump.
"Waiter," I cried, "can I dispense with
the other courses, and dine of the
soup?"
"If you wish, of course, sir," said the
waiter.
I had three helps of that excellent pea
soup, and in each plate I put a spoonful
of dried mint. Bubthe after result was
not exhilarating; it rather clogged the
pores, I think, that coop. Miserable and
depressed as I went into the Recesses, I
felt still more miserable more depressed
after my dinner. I had spent my pre
scribed allowance. I couldn't go any
where or do anything.
I could only go back to my gloomy
lodging through the sloppy street
and sit, and lonely chew tife cud of bit
ter meditation.
Ayes Iqtcnoug
The idea seemed to me horrible; and
yet now, as ever, there appeared to be no
escape fur ma from the embraces of this
dull melancholy Send. I couldn't help
saying to myseif as sat with my chin
resting on my — bands, "I wish I were
dead I"
I didn't mean to say it aloud but I sup
pose I must have whispered it audibly;
fora man who was sitting opposite to me
at the-table—who had been sitting there,
smoothing his heavy red mustache all the
time I had been dining, his eyes fixed on
his plate—looked op of a sudden, and
gave me a quick and searching glance.
I knew him then; it was Medlintst,an
old school-fellow. As a boy he had been
always a mystery to us; that quick sud
den glance of his bad always had such a
strange effect upon all on whom it fell.—
We used to say.he bad the Evil Eye, and
wonderful tales. used to be told at school
about the effect of Idedhurst's look.—
Still, I was glad to see him; any relief
from tha loneliness and monotony of my
life was pleasant. He recognized me also
and came over and sat beside me.
"TRUTH AND RIGHT : GOD AND OUR COUNTRY."
MONTROSE, PA., WEDNESDAY, MAY 28, 1873.
"Well," he said, after we had shaken
bands—he had a strange, flabby, chilly
hand, which somehow sent an icy chill
to my very heart—"well, so you wish you
were dead."
"Did you hear me?" I said. "01., it
was nonsense, of course. I often say so.
A foolish habit' I have. I don't mean
it." -
"It wasn't nonsense!" he said. De
talked in a low, monotonous voice, in
telligible enough to the ear for which
it was intended, but not to be overheard
by others. "It wasn't nonsense, but a
very rational, prudent wish. I wish so
myself; and what is more," he said, "I
have the mer ns to carry out both your
wishes."
I laughed uneasily. "You are jok
ing."
"I never joke. Until now," he went
on, "the great deterring influence which
has restrained those wise men who see
the folly and emptiness of life, who meas.
raring their fe,ble capacities for enjoy
ment with their'illtimated capacities for
suffering, Would gladly resign a posses
-6ioll which has no advantage for them—
the great deterring influence has been the
doubt whether death be really a com
plete severing of the body and the soul ;
whether indeed, there is not a lingering
capacity of feeling still hanging to the
relaxed nerves, a lingering conscionsness
in the decaying brain ; that, in addition
to the bittern ess of death, one may
taste also the gloom of the grave, and
the horrors of a charnel-house."
"Good-heavens?" I cried. "What a
horrible ideal" Ile fascinated me, this
man. I would gladly have risen and
gone away; but he stoppal me with his
eyes.
"Listen," be said. "I have overeotne
this impediment; I have opened the gates
of Death to all mankind. To you, my
young schoolfellow l will reveal the se
cret; lest, tempted some day to cross the
bonndry, I Should die, anti leave man
kind as wretched as ever. You see this
powdered herb; it is like mint, is it not
the taste, the smell, everything is like
mint—you would not know them apart
and yet in.& small quantity of this pow
der lies a release front all the miseries of
life. pott% shrink back ;
• it is innoec
ous in small doses, produces merely
pleasing languor ; but in such agmuiti
ty as a teaspoonful, it produces leth
argy; twice the quantity hrin^s on syn
cope; thrice, inmitible death. I have
often ventured death. I have ofb-it ven
tured as lar as the second stage, but have
always stopped short of the third. But
I have brought back this much assurance
froM the world of shadows; 'conscious
ness cetticsaltoo ^ vi her at the second stage.
There are no dreams in the sit,p of
death.
The prelituipat7 stage of lettargy is
delightful—l often indulge in it ; but 1
hate had it doubt sometimes whether
might not possess an CNwptional physical
organization; whether the herb would
prodnee exactly the same elects on oth
ers. I determined to try the experiment
on a large scale. I came here to-night to
do it. I have noticed that eael, frequent
er of these rooms, on peasonp nights,
which are frequent. takes one plate of
soup. to which he adds one spoonful of
Mint. Well, I watched my opportunity. I
came here as soon as the room was open
ed; and, whilst the waiter's Lae': was
turned. I emptied the contents of the
plate into my pocket, and filled the_ plate
with my UWU powder. The expOime.it
was a bold one. I might have ceased the
death of innocent persons. Hotwever,
rrserved; the interests of scienice over
power considerations of humanity. The
experiment has completely succeeded.—
Each habilue of these rooms has awollow
ed his plate of soup, his spoonful of prec
ious herb; each bas gone through ti.e
stages of lethargy. There are sonic now,
you observe, passing through that stage."
I threw an agonized glance arotuid,Yes
sore enough, there were two or three men
lying back In their chairs, their heads
sunk on their breasts, in a state of com
plete lethargy.
"And," he went on. "I can see the
symtoms of the approaching lethargy up
on you—the dilated pupil of the eye, the
expression of anxiety in the face; yes, all
is perfect: the symtoms are --"
"But," I gasped. "I have taken three
spoonfuls!"
"Martyr of science r he cried springing
np and grasping me by the hand, "horn .
carefnlly,how painfully I will watch every
symtom of your declining vitality! Dear
friend, your case will be an era in the his
tory of humanity. Like earth:is, you have
leaped into the chasm for the public
weal."
"But isn't there an antidote ?" I grasp
ed; "a remedy ?"
"There is none; and were there, you
would not go back from the noble path ?
My dear friend, imitate the example of
the ancient Roman ; a quietude and sere
nity Ith his last hours is indispensible for
the proper noting of your phenomon
on."
"But I won't die I shouted, getting
op. My limbs trembled beneath me; I
felt the very chills of death upon me.
won't, I won't!" Here I screamed.
"Send for a doctor—for policeman.
Quick! Quick I'm poisoned !"
All the lethargic men jumped to their
feet, the waiters came running in, the
proprietor appeared, pale and wonder
in"
"I'm poisoned 1" 1 shouted by the mint
Send fur a doctor you fools! Do you
hear ?"
"Mad! said a .quiet voice, mad as a
hatter. Poor fellow ! he's subject to those
fits He'll fall down directly; look out
for him!"
"But I'm not piing to have the char
acter of the house taken away for no mad
freaks. What do you mean, sir, by at
tacking the quality of my Vane's, sir ?"
"It was he," I shouted, pointing to my
friend, "who now seeks to screen himself
by calling me mad. But good heavens;
will you see a poor fellow creature perish,
periA, PERIM ?"
"There don't aggrivate him," said my
- friend. "Put him into a cab; and send
him to a police station; he's sure to have
been advertised for."
. I was dragged and hustled from the
room, sad hurled into a cab. Two or
three poliecemen had come up, and one
took charge of me inside, while another
mounted the box. I was quiet now.over•
come by my struggles, and lay exhausted
in the corner of the cab, waiting the
insiduous advances of the deadly narcot
ic.
Presently the cab stoopped. "We've
got that chap they advertised for," cried
the man outside, to a policeman who was
lunngen at the door of the police-station.
"The deuce you haver -said the In
specter, coming up. "Then you've done
a good job to-night There's fifty pounds
offered now. 'rake him right off to the
asylum at once. Let's have alook at him,
though. Why this ain't the man at all;
this ain't Itledhurst !—Low, you ought to
have known better. Red full mustache,
drooping eye-lids, aquiline nose—why
they re es different us light from dark
ness."
"What! is Medhurst mad?" I said, a
light bursting in upon me.
"Yes; 'as he been playing any of his
pranks upon you, sir ?—making believe to
give poison, or anything of that sort?
Lord, he is the cunningest chap in crea
tion, that Medhurst. lie's a small for
tune to the police to bring him back after
his escapes. He's quite 'armless, too,
though he's always up to so many tricks.
Quite a gentleman, too. I have swallowed
a pint or more of his poison just to please
him, and then he'd stand a bottle of cham
pagne afterward. That's how you had
ought to have served him, sir. There,you
won't get hold of him to-night, chaps; he
is miles away by this time.'
I have never wished myself dead since
then.
/low I Escaped Being Killed in a
13-Y Mf.llt6 TWAIN
-0-
The only merit I claim for the follow
tug narrative is that it is a true story.—
It has a moral at the end of it, but I
claim nothing on that, as it is merely
thrown in to curry favor with the re
ligious element.
After I had reported a couple of years
on the Virginia City (Nevada) Daily En
terprixe, they promoted me to be editor
in-chief—anal I lasted just a wtek by the
watch. But I made an uncommonly
lively newspaper. while I did last, and
Len I retired I Mulls duel on my hands,
and three horse-whippiugs promised me
The latter I imole no attempt to collect;
however, this history concerns only the
former. It was the 01l -flush times" of
the silvsr excitment, when the popula
tion was wonderfully (wild and mixed ;
evevtbudy went armedlo the teeth, and
s.ll slights and insults had to be atoned
for with the best article of blood your
system (mild (*monist'. In the course of
my editing I made trouble with a Mr.
Lord, editor of the rival paper. lie flew
up about some little trifle or other that I
said about him—l do not remember now
what it Leas. I suppose I called him a
thief, or a body-snatcher. or an idiot., cr
something like that. I was obliged to
make the paper readable, and I could not
Mil in my duty to a whole eciumunity of
subscribers merely to save the exaggerat
ed sensitiveness of an individual. Mr.
Lird was offended, and replied rigorously
in his paper. Vigorously means a great
Aral when it refers to a personal editorial
in a frontier n..wspaper. Duelling was
all the fashion among the upper classes
in that country, and very tew gentlemen
would throw away an opportunity of
lightiugone. To kill a person in a duel
caused a man to be even more looked up
to than to kill two men in the ordinary
war. Well, out there,if you abuse a man,
and that man did not like it, you had to
call him out and kill him; otherwise von
would be distmeed. So I challenged Mr.
Lord, and I did hope he would not ac
cept; but I knew perfectly well that he
did not want to tight,and so I challenged
him in the most yitdent and imphcable
manner. And then I sat down and suf
fered till the answer came. All out boys
—the editors—were in our office. "help
ing' me in the dismal business, and tel
ling about duels, and discussing the code
with a lot of aged ruffians who had had
experience in such things, and altogether
there was a loving interest taken in the
matter, which made me unspeakably.—
uncomfortable. The answer came—Mr.
Lord declined. Onr boys were furious,
and so was I--on the surface.
I sent him another challenge, and an
other and another; and the more he did
not-want to tight, the bloodthirster I ba
came. But at lust the man's tone chang
ed. lle appeared to be waking up. It
was becoming apparent that he was going
to fight me, after all. 1 'ought to have
known how it would be—lie wits a man
who never could be depended upon. Our
boys were exultant, I was not, though I
tried to be.
It was now time to go oni and practise.
It was the custom there to fight duels
with navy six shooters at fifteen paces—
load and empty till the game for the fu
neral was secured. We went to a little
ravine just outside of town, and borrowed
a barn door for a target—borrowed it of a
gentleman who was absent—and we stood
this barn door np. and stood a rail on end
against the middle of it, to represent
Lord, and put a squash on top of the rail
to represonthis head. He was a very tall
lean creature, the poorest sort of materiel
for a duel—nothing but a line shot could
fetch him, and even then be might split
your bullet. ' Exaggeration aside, the rail
was, of course. a little to thin to represent
t
his body accurately, but the squash as
all right. If there was any intent , e al
difference between the squash an his
head, it was in favor of the squash.
%Veil, I practised and practised at the
barndoor, and could not hit it, and I
practised at the rail, and could not hit
that : and I tried hard for the squash, and
could not bitthe squash. I would have
been entirely disheartened, but that occas•
ionally I crippled one of the boys, and
encouraged me to hope.
At last we began to bear pistokhots
near by, in the next ravine. We knew
what that meant! The other party . were
out practising, too. Then I was iv the
last degree distressed; for of ^nurse those
people would hear our shots, and they
would send spies over the ridge, and the
spies would find my barn door without 3
wound or a scratch, and that would tim-
ply be the end of me—for of course that
other man would immediately become as
bloodthirsty as I was. Just at that mo
ment a little bird, no larger than a spar
row, flew by, and lit on a sage-bush about
thirty paces away; and my little second,
Steve Gills, who was a matchless marks
man with a pistol—much better than I
was—snatched out his revolver and shot
the birds head off! We all ran to pick up
the game, and sure enough, just at this
moment, some of the other duellists came
reconnoitring over the little ridge. They
ran to our group to see what the matter
was; and when they saw the bird, Lord's
second said :
That was a splendid shoi. How fur off
was it ?" Steve said, with sonic indiffer
ence :
"Oh,ao great distance. About thirty
"Thirty paces! Heavens alive who did
"My man—Twain."
"The mischief he did !Can he do that
often ?"
"Well—yes. lie can do it about—well
about four times out of five,"
I knew the little rascal was lying, bat
I never said anything. I never told him
so: He was not of a dispotion to invite
confidence of that kind, so I rot the mat
ter rest. But it was a comfort to see
those people look sick, and see their
under-jaws drop, when Steve made these
statement. They went off and got Loru,
and took him home ; and when we got
home, half an hour later, there was a
note saying that lir. Lord peremptorily
declined to fight !
It was a narrow escape. We found out
afterwards that Lord kit his mark thir
teen times in eighteen shots. If he hail
put those thirteen bullets through me,
it would have narrowed my• sphere of
usefulness a good deal—would have" well
nigh closed it, in fact- True, they could
have put pegs in the hole, and used me
for a hat-rack ; but what is a hat-rack to
a man who feels he has intellectual pow
ers ? I would scorn na t e plition.
I have written this true incident of my
personal history for one purpose, and one
purpose only—to warn the youth of the
day against the pernicious practice of du
elling, and to plead with them to war
against it. If the remarks and sugges
tions I am making can be of any service
to Sunday School teachers, and newpa
pers interested in the moral progress of
society, they are at • liberty to use them
widely disseminated, so that they may do
as much good as possible. I was young
and foolish when I challenged that gen
tleman, and I thought it was very fine
and very grand to be a dnellist,and stand
upon the -field of honor." Bat I am
older and more experienced now, and am
inflexibly opposed to the dreadful custom.
I am glad, indeed, to be enabled to lift up
my voice against it. I thick it is a bad,
immoral thing. I thick it is every man's
duty to do everything he can to discour
age duelling. I always do now; I dis
courage it upon every occasion. '
If a man were to challenge me now—
now that I can fully appreciate the in
iquity of that practice—l would go to
that man, and take him by the hand, and
lead him to a qmet,retired room—and kill
him.
Josh Billings on Silence
Silence iz a still noise.
One of the hardest things for a man to
do iz to keep still.
Everybody wants tew be heard fast,
and this iz jist what tills the world with
nonsense. Everybody wants tew talk,
few want to thiuk, and nobody wants to
listen.
The greatest talkers among the feather
ed Wks are the magpie autlxinney hen,
and neither of them are of much an
eon it.
If a man ain't sore he iz right, the
best kard he kan play iz a blank note.
I have known many a man tow beat
in an argument by just knodding his
head once in a while, and simply saying
less so, jess so."
It takes a great many blows to drive in
a nail, but one will clinch it.
Sum men talk just as a French pony
trots, all day long, in a halt-bushel aim
mire.
Silence never maks env blunders, and
alwuz gets as much credit as iz due it,
and ofttimes more.
Whe'n Caw , a man listening to clues,
always say to myself, "look out, Josb,that
fellow is taking your meaznre.
I have heard men argy a pint two hours
and a half and not get any further from
where they started thataa mule in a tread
mill; they did a good dcal ov going round
and round.
. .
I have sat on jurys and had a lawyer
talk law, fakts and evidence of tho lease
all Gut ov me, besides starting the taps on
mi boots.
I have been tew church hungri for some
gospel, and corn hum so phull ov it that
couldn't draw a long breath without
starting a button.
Brevity and silence are the two .grata
kards, and next tew saying nothing. say
ing a little iz the strength ov the game.
Ono thing iz certain, it iz only the grate
thinkers who can afford tew ho brief, an
thare has been but phew volumes yet
published which could not be cut down
two-thirds, and menny ov them could be
cut clean back tew the title-page with
out hurting them.
It iz tew find a man ov good sense who
ken look back upon enny occasion and
wish he had sed sum more, but it is easy
tew find menuey who wish they had sed
less.
A thing sed iz hard to recall, but, wi
sed it kau be spoken at envy time.
Brevity iz the child ov silence and iz a
great credit tew the old man. •
THE Jewish Messenger thinks that the
arguments which have so ritheh strength
in England against allowing a man to
marry his deceased wife's sister, "which
are mainly religions, are ludicrous in the
extreme. The passages in Leritieus,which
bad been so much relied on by the oppo
nents of the'bill,do not prohibit,but rath
er encourage; this kind of marriage,- as is
exemplified by Jewish. tradition and, us !
uge."
ICE cream will he dead rips in a few day&
Terms 17717111411WAVAIR,
1 1 : ADVANC E: a&
THE STOLEN SUS.
With blue eyes closed, and head thrown bock,
Within the easy-chair sat Kitty,
Thought I. "If now a pair of gloves
I may not win, 'twill be a pity!"
But as I softly reached her side.
The red Bps parted with a murmur;
And, oh! what joy! my name the breathed ;
Within my heart grew hopes still firmer.
"fast love me Kitty!" whispered I;
And soft in sleep CAM) back her answer;
"I love thee not I" I stood aghast,
Till love urged, "Kiss her while you can sire
But, ah I the blue eyes swift. unclosed,
4Smd glanced at me with mirth o'ertlowing.
Th'etflitt I, "I'll let her thiak awhile
ThatTyp beard something worth the know
log."
Then, drawing near. F slyly said,
- Fair maid, your dreams have well betrayed
you."
"For shame I" cried she, "to steal my thoughts,
And get my sleeping tongue to aid you!'
All penitent, f humbly said,
"But, ah ! the secret in my tceping
Has mado me sad !" She answered low,
"One never tells the truth while sleeping!"
The Laughing Philosopher.
I know a funny little boy,
The happiest ever bunt ;
Ills Oice is her a beam of boy,
Although his clothes are torn
I saw him stumble on his nose,
And waited for a groan;
But how he laughed! Do you suppose
He ever struck his funny bone?
There's sunshine in each word he speaks,
His laugh is sometimes grand;
Its ripples overrun his cheeks,
Liken wave on snowy sand.
He laughs the moment he awakes,
And till the day is done;
The school-room for a joke he takes,
His lessons are but fun.
No matter how the day may go,
You cannot make him cry
He's worth a dozen boys I know,
Who pout and mope and sigh.
He's plump and round—he once was slim;
I have not told you half;
I soon expect to hear of him
Exploding in a laugh.
<a.
The Training of Children.
—• —o—
The influence of the eye In the disci
pline of child:eu has not been sufficiently
no:ed, but any one can convince himself
of its power by experiment and observa
tion. Not an angry look at all, but a
steady one—an almost magnetic gaze—is
the expression required. This gives the
impression of superior will,or latent force
best in reserve,which arrests the attention
and ultimately insures the submission of
the most rebellious. The animals control
their young by the eye and voice combin
ed, no violence is used, no reasoning (that
we are aware of) attempted, yet perfect
obedience is acted and rendered.
A calf or lamb a few days old, on being
for the first time placed by its mother in
a fence corner among the bushes, and left
hidden there while she grazes, will soon
leave its shelter and come out either to
seek its mother or to play; but the watch
ful parent goes at once, without delay of
an instant, and lends the little ono back
again. andyet again, until it learns to
obey. • Each lime that she makes it lie
down she stands looking intently at it a
while. Then presently when it has re
mained quiet long enough, she, standing
at a short distance in the field, will cull
gently, and the little creature immediately
leaps and runs to her aide. A hen will
separate two of her chickens who are
fighting, and, lowering her head look at
the aggressor steadily until he is subdued
and peaceable.
It is also very i.teresting to watch a cat
training her playful fa.nily, who give her
but little trouble until they get their eyes
open. Then all with to come sprawling
and tumbling out of their basket, and as
their mother bas hunting to do she must
titan them to remain quiet
_during her
frequent absence; So after breakfast, she
makes their toilet, pets each one in its
proper place, and goes a little way off,
pretending not to look toward them. By
and by a kitten or two becomes restless
and begins to crawl out of the nest; but
the mother returns at once, replaces sur
veys her children calmly and with pa
tience, and egain retires, often to a great
er distance than before, to return again on
the tirst manifestation of disobetence.
One morning spent in teaching her ba
bies generally suffices for puss, who after
that can go linnt:tig wherever she will,
sure of finding her children all at horde
and quiet on her return. Now, if we are
really wiser than the animals, should we
not show proof of . it by our mode of gov-
erning young children ? ft is true that
the nervous activity andatrong will which
most American babies inherit,make them
less docile than young animals; but this
can be met by greater patience and Self
control on the part of parents. The suc
cess bf the few who have faithfully tried
to do their duty by their children is so
great that every mother may be encour
aged to make the attempt What a nation
we shall become when every child is prop
erly trained.—N. Y. Mail.
A Chinese Custom.
--o
The Chinese take a curious method to
prevent their pigeons being attacked by
birds of prey while circling over the cities
or moving from place to place. This con.
sists in the employment of small short'
cylinders of bamboo,
arranged so as to
form a whistle or reed pipe, in groups of
three or four, or more. Tilde are attach
ed to the back of the bird, and so adjust
ed
that as it flies through the air a very
sharp sound is produced. Varying lengths
of the bamboo give variety of tone to this' .
instrnment,and when a large number of
birds are flying together in a single llock,
as is very fregnently the case, the sound
produced by theth is distinctly audible
for a great distance. It is said that -ra
pacious birds are effectually repelled by
this precaution, so that the pigeons make
their flights witir perfect safety froth- one
mint to another. Varnish is used for
coating these bamboo whistles to-.protect
them from moisture. This pracice to said
to have been hi vegan. among the Chinese
ler a great many years.
A uousn; etable, farming .nteniils, and
160 acres of aralile land were golTrecent
ly at St-James, Minnesota, for 8100 and
a wooed hand overcoat. •
Enwfx Boon is studying ling Leg.
NUMBER, 22.
Varictles.
--o--
A. WESTERN' jury recently brought, is
a verdict of "justifiable breach of prom-'
ice."
A Saxton who has a scar which is the
malt of a dispute on shore many years
ago, refers to it as an old landmark.
ABOUT 350 Chinamen, who have been
at work on plantations and levees in the
south, have recently passed through St
Louis on theii way back to California to
work in the mines.
THE farmers through the entire North
west are forming clubs and granges for
the purpose of fighting the railroad nor •
porations and forcing them to abate their
charges for freight.
A TROT dentist became emotionally in
sane whilvepairing a front tooth for w.
ratty woman and kissed her. She told
er hnsband,and he went round and bin
roweit 8500 of the dentist on a long times
A Pilorsvmsms. editor, disgusted
with the ordinary pro.spectus, comes out
fairly anti frankly. Ho says his paper -is
"an airy old sheet, devoted to wind, wide
ky, wickedness, and other religious mat
ters. Vox Popnli, TOM Beelzebub? .
Tali' secret which is promised by the
British bill is not to be violated with im
punity. A magistrate at Cork, hating
been asked by an ignorant voter to pre
pare his ballot for him, subsequently
made known how the man bad voted.
He was thereupon arrested and sentenced
to a week's imprisonment.
A witirsu of New Bedford, Maas, has
the audacity to assert that there are two
causes of Abe disagreements that take
place so often between the ladies of the
household and the servants thereof. In
the first place, the servants are usually
raw and inexperienced and don't - know
anything; and in the second phice,,flieir
mistresses are generally inexperienced,and
don't know anything themselves. Moral:
Every woman should learn to cook, and
then she can teach her servants.
PnovEssen Tyndall has since` his re
turn to England been lecturing on Niaga
ra. He predicated that in time the Amer
ican fall would be abolished, leaving s
whirlpool: and the Horseshoe Fall would
have receded still further back, at the
same time narrowing the bend of Co
river behind it. Ho concluded by saying
that, during his recent visit ha had re
ceieved a hearty and almost affectionate
reception from the people of the United
States✓ and in lecturing and living among
this other English-speaking nation he had
felt no break of continuity.
Is a recent divorce case inConnecticut
the applicant thus told the story of how
he prospered in the ladles love: "She
came to our house visiting. Says she to.
me, 'ls your daughter about to be noir-
Hein' Pabaps so, says I. 'What'll you
do for a housekeeper?' says she. • 'Where
can I get one?' says L be your
homer?' says she, 'if you'll home
me ?' 'Eire yen ?' says I. 'Harry von P'
'Yes,' says she. 'When,' says L 'Eight
off,' says she, 'now or never. 'Hadn't we
better wait four or live weeks?' says I.
'No,' says she, 'I always meant to be mar
ried before my folks knew it, and, if yonll
marry me before I go home, all right"'
Religious Notes.
——o—
IT is a terrible thing for Otte man to
speak evil of another, and it is worse to
think it. If you speak it the man , has,
time and opportunity to defend hireself,: - ,
but be cannot trace the thought. It
neither heroic nor manly to permit int
yourself 'judgments which nobody cam
reverse.
•
AT a social party, where definitions
was one of the games in the evening the
question was put, "What is religion?"
"Religion," replied one of the party,more
famous as a man of business than as a
wit, "is an insurance against fire in the'
next world, for which honesty is the best.
policy.
Tun Catholic population of the Unita.
Kingdom of Great Britain and. Ireland,.
according to the Scotsman, is about 2,000-
000. The Catholic peers number. thirty.
throe, twenty-four of whom are mem
bers of the House of Lords. There are
forty-eight Catholic baronets. and thirty
six Catholic members in the House of
commons.
Tan American Chrislain Review , says
that five-men, all in
. good ciredmitances
and good standing in the community *
wererecently expelled from the Discipline s.
Church, in Little Flat Bock, Indiana, for
the sin of covetousness. No other chair*
was made against them. They had .ro
fused to pay their proportion of the cost
of a new meeting-house.
AS English writer discourses - some
what sarcastically of that small coin, tit*
three-penny piece. lio says; "It is. too
small to fetch a flitch of bacon; it is too
weak to bring home a sack of flout;. it is
no use to pay half a year's rent; so, it is
solemnly and sacredly set apart to too
help of the Lord against the mighty."
' ICELAND, with 50,000 inhabitants, luta
300 priksts of the Lutheran Church.—
The Government pays their salaries, from
NO to t 300. per year. But the priest
does not devote all his time to ecoletuasti
cal duties; he is farmer or blacksmith, or
follows any business 'which may bo o
to him, "laboring with his own hands."
Acconnina to statishu submitted at
the late annual conference at Georgetown
S. C., there are 38,000 Methodists in S.C.,
with ITO ministers. The new Methodist
Episcopal Theological Seminary has been
definitely located at Cokesburg, its de•
moue consisting of one hundred and
forty-two acres of land on which are sub
stantial buildings.
Tut Congresrdionalist tbinks that the
hilt& incorporßto the Youn Ladies'
Ohristain Association of New York city
ought not to pass the State Legislature
until the word uWemans is substituted for
Ladies.' Young ladies' it says, who are
above being called women, have some.
thing to learn before they can be called
Ohrultain.