THE MONTROSE . DEMOCRAT .
E. B. HAWLEY, Proprietor.
Viso Card.
DB. W. W. 81111TH,
Dorm?. Rooms at hls derelltne, next door toot of the
Repablkan printing office. 0111ce hours from 9 a.. Ir.
too T. IL Montrose, May S, le7l—tt
THE DAUBER—un: ! Ha!!
Charley Morels hi the barber. who eau share your face to
order; Cuts brown, black and grlindey hair, In tits
afire Jas op Maim These you will end him, over
Iriere's store. below hlcSenales—just one door.
Itentetlee, Jane 1, C. !WARTA.
S. B. & A. U. IIIeCOLLIOIII
Arreascers AT Leer Ofsre over the Bank. Montrose
Pe. iteotztie.,lll7 10. tt
DR. D. A. LATROP.
Has amed as office. st the foot of Chegnet street, near
the Catholic Church, where he can be consulted at all
times.
Yonmose, April Vi s tni. 11
CROSSMON & BALDWIN,
ATTORNEYS AT LI.W.-olllee over the store of Win.
3.llolfort. on Pahlle Avenue, lloutroso Pt.
W. C 110415.1105. B. L. 8....t.05na.
Montrose, Stara 1, Mi. if.
J. D. VAIL,
11011LOPA11110 PIITSICIAX Ala) STJUGEOX. Use permanently
Located blorself in Ifontrore, Pa , where he will prompt
ly attend to all mile in hie probation with whleh be may
. he herded Office and residence %est of the Court
noose, Dear Fitch & Watentraornce. . .
liontrose, February 9.1 971
LAW OFFICE'
PITCFI A WATSON. Attorneys et Law, at the old Gillet
If Bentley &Mel. Montrose. Ps.
P. men. Van. 11 , "71.[ v. v. or ♦TeCnt.
CHARLES N. STODDARD.
Dealer ht Boots sod Shots, fists and Caps. Leather and
PiedMr, Wlln Street. Ist door below Boyd's Store.
Work made to order, and it:paring done neatly.
3t ottrose„ Jan. t, 1570.
LITTLES & BLAESSLEE,
Attontoys and Counsellors at Law. Omen the ono
beretotore mewled by EL B. a 6, P. Little. on Men
street. Montrose4 Pa. [Aprll93.
ft_ s. melts. nem e. terns. a. t. lII.AILMBLZI.
-- -
E. XeEsau!. C. C. Faunae, W. H. Wean,.
& CO.
Dealer. la Dry Goads, Clothlog, Ladles and Mines
due Mums. Mee, agents for the great Amer - team
Tea and Cepa Comany. Montroee. Pa . ap.l."111.
LEWIS KNOLL,
813AVING 'AND ttAllt Dfit'SSING.
Shiro to the near Poatritilcit *here be will
tiled !natty to attend all who may grant anything
la Ma line. Montrose, Pa. Oct. 13, lath.
0. Ni. HAWLEY,
roman in rEtlt OitOCERIP.B, cuocinzmr
ilardltafe, Hata, ear. BootP.Sh dee, ItestdiT Ma& Cloth
tig. Paints, Oils, etc., New Milford. Pa. 'Sept. 8, 'B9.
DR. S. W. DAYTON,
PAYSTCIAN & SURGEON. tender. his services to
the citizens of Great Bend and sit lofty Omro at hit
residence. oppostte Barnum [loom, 131. Bend Tillage.
Sept. Ist, 1869. tf
LAW OFFICE.
rtragt.tio a stevnitm, Attpmey. arid coon
ots at Last. °Mee in the Brick glikk over the
ok. [Slonttate Aug. 4. WM.
A. Caasassus. . J .s.llcCouLtric.
A. a D. EL LATHROP,
DEALERS in T/ry Goods. Groceries,
crockery and glarsordre..table and aet cutlery.
Paints, oils. dye .tdff.. lime -
godshoes. bole
leather. Perfumery trfteit 'Mock, ortlolning the
Tank. Montrose. [august It. Itiett.—tf
A. LlTII110?, - • I). R. La (nor.
A. d. illAdittlit,
ATTORNEY A. LAW. Bounty, Beek Pay. Pantiles
dfld Stern on Claims attended fa. Otter d
oor below goyd l a Start, Ifontrore.Pa. [Mr 7,'69
IL C. SClrrolif
Anettaneer, and Insurance Agent,
att Prilend4lrtne, Pa..
C. 6. GiILBEUT,
.Atiorscrtia.22.e.Dr.
GreaL Bend, Ps
tt. a •
ate elf
A 111 I 16 LY,
17. A. .A.‘acrildrascror.
&lc 1. 110. Addres., Brooklyn, lire.
501E1 GROVES,
F ARIIIONABLE SMI3R, ',lantern*. Po. !Mop over
012/1411111'11 Store. Allordere tilled la first-rate style.
o emir, done on shorfoolice. and warranted to at..
w. yr, tilirrn,
• t6INgT AND CilLlll. MANUYNCTUDERS.—rao
e 1!! % lame% 14011M110. Pa. Mtg. 1: 186).
H. surintier,
DEALER tit Staple aad Paaey Dry Goods, ereeter)
antrderara, Iran, Stores, Dta gs, Cf!h_, arta Paints
Bestsaltil Slims, flats a C 09,140; Buffalo Sober
Groceries .Pfdrhrlons. c;e., elm Milford. Pa.
fig. La P. EtiligS,
itra partuancatly located st Prim:otosiiia for the par
arpracticlng medicine and surgery to all ay
haw Da may be
Bf. fO lomatg. f L
at elm aucketrti Iddrlfe.
E Ufa& &oft 8
?Assassins, Ps., Aug,
STROUD & BROWIII,
Flat' EqD Lutz INSUelfrNett ACENTB. er
bn•ltt4OattiTeded tfriptiltiftail,erfiAlf , tett!. Office
trot dattf donftut • Mcmtroso Liotol," wen Otte 0 ,
Public Avensie, ISMitIOSe, Pa. [Avg 1,185.
Bmusas Sysoro., • • Ctitras. L. Duovi.
WIS. D. MAK,
ATTORNEY AT 'LAW, Monttete, °Meer oppo.
site the Tubell Bosse, sear the Cowl Hansa.
Aug. 1. tha.—tt
ABEL TERRELL,
D LALBB to Drags, Patent Idedicors, Cittemleals
MOM% Paints, 0113,Dye ,turn, Varnishes, Win •
Glass, Grooerles, Glass Ware, Wall and Window Pa,
d~eerr.Stone-ware, Lamps, Kerosene,. Deftfeety 01h.
Guns, Amami:titian, Lathes. Specueles
liiifstiseq Pane, Goods, Jewelry, Porta es, de.—
being fans elate lost numerous. atetutive, sad
. ..doable collet:11=i of Goods In Susquehanna Co.—
Established In 1869. Montrose, Pa.
D. W. SEARLE,
ATTORNEY AT LAW. office over the Store of A.
WA:op, to the Beek Block, Montrose, Pe. [AnITO
MI. W. 1.. lIICRATI.DSON,
rliTsianar 6 KTRGEON. tenders hie pro:elflike:a
services to the citizens of Montrose cod vicinity.—
Oftlee at hie residence, on the corner east of Ham 6
Bros. Fonndr7. [An:. 1, UM.
DE. E. L. EIAILDNE9,
PHYSICIAN and SURGEON. Montrose. Pa. Glirer
eipeelal attention to diseases of ttre Tlestrt sod
LADS. sad all Margkal diseases.
Deana Odle* over M. B.
Boardsat Searle's Hotel. [Aug.'. MM.
BICIVIS a 151M11101.13,
DES.. .sall Ln Drugs, Medicines, Chemicals, Dy&
asAU.flint.olls Varnish, [Anon. Spices:Pam
sr: ciel, admit Stellloines. Perineum and Tolle Ar
incees. farPrestaisclons carefully ecenyounded•—•
knells ilosaus„strivo tsearls's Newsom Pa
Bow. Arcs a s
' • 1. LIM
OIL IL L BABIDUICII,
retractor a 508080 N. res. unrany• ht.
ponendonal services to the ant= of irdecnbrlno
tad vicinity. isr.o Oleo tatioolllce of Dr. Lan
karts et J. Ilonlorrs. Ang.ll.lBo.
PROF. NORRIS,
Tn. igsatt Saber. retinae Ids thanks for the kind mt.
roan* that Yu enabled him to eel, the belt ran—U
he I I ber'at time to tell the whole story. but come
earl see for roQrnpes mat the Old Sum& 5o loud
Cinching a llo yed 111 tu shop. [April i
HUNT 13130TUEBS,
• sell/011'0N. PA.
Micieside B Rabat Patent*
HARDWARE. LEON. STEEL,
NAILS. Spy. SWIVELS,
nerwurs HARDWARE,
sane SAM cap= ra T S4.II4TIZZa
AILBOAD & [NO ItrPrides.
cd2lBl4&E SITING& &SLAV, SKEINS 4,9 b
&0728. BOLTS IfilTB al& W41117=1.
rz.saspis_twas. Ar.u,zgams
uNs. eacepwres.
FELLOEs. &BAT errirmes BOITRaIe.
VI • • MIMI and dim. mums
. SLIIDEIDS. KUM /0.46 a.
COGAINAIt • p mussiare. ustmeko. ?Ammo
Mk MOCK!. PlAiitElv PA!!!
Mum!. GANDA GILINDeMtim
papa wapoW WAS.LINATHEIGN FUNDING!
- PAINIULDNIIIIO I / 6 131.
awasm. 'WM.
stmt. Nestross, AL •
—At Sher-Wood's, the Watch-Maker, Halo
rafts taut
WHAT HSTSET SAID.
A earlaiimirr TO "BIM= Atm I Alta CO?.•r
Some days ago we published a hit of rhyme
from the Toledo Blade," entitled " Betsey and
I are Out." Those who read cannot well help
but remember it, for it was a well told story.—
We are not partial to " attsWers" or "supple
ments" or continuations of poems that are pop
ular, but the subjoined from the Rochester " Un
ion and Advertiser" taw true to nature and gives
such an apt conclusion to tho affair that it is
worth following the original.
Well, John, you've bra' the 'greement, and read
it to me twice
The more you read the worse I feel, although it
does sound nice;
I wish we could ha' got along, but we can't I
plainly see;
So'l 11 have to sign the pesky thing, 'though it
dues part you and me.
We need to talk of heaven, John, and get so
tarnel mad,
But I was ar.wats right, Jgjan, 'caule why, my
poor old dad
Would never ha' tmched me anything but what
he knew was true;
Ile was a mighty good man, too, John, and the
Bible knew clean through.
Cid Brindle died, pod know, John, and thee. we
had a spat'
But I was right again, John, 'cause why, you
know I sat
Where I Could plainly see just " how" she done
the thing;
Why, I know it just as well, John, as I knows
anything.
Then next you "played your little joke"•—yon
thought it mighty conning;
I didn't see the pin't, John, nor didn't know
you's funning,—
But when I fell, and broke that worthless little
bowl,
I REALLY thought you's mean,John, or else what
made you scold?
Now, John, rve been a faithful wife since you
and I did wed,
But seein' we have got to part, I wish that I
was dead.
I think that lawyer might have fixed it up some
other way, -
Be doesn't know his business, John, that's all
rve gut to say.
We can't part the !Attie, John, there's not an
even number,
And it rm ring of, John, rm not a going to
cumber
Myself ifith none of your fanning tools and
things ;
I'll only take my clothes, and this poor wedding
ring.
I know you're mighty good. John, to offer me
the home;
But I do not care to have it, If I've got to live
alone.
No. keep your houses and your lands, I'll go my
self sway ;
I hope you will not marry, Sohn, for baby's
sake, don't, pray.
I shan't live long, I know I shan't; for wheal I
once am gone.
ru ❑et and worry so—for I know things will
go wrong,
The house will soon get dirty, too, and filled
with rats and mice:
You'll miss me, John, I know? yoci will, If Tor
try to keep it nice,
Tvc washed and mended elf your clothes, and
packed them In the press;
And sewed, too, every button on, so when you
come to dress
You cannot say, I didn't do my duty to the
last;
Fre always =ran to do it, John in truth I've
done my bast.
If you ever get the fever, Jdhn, Y trope you'll
send tor me;
I'll come and nose ydti,—bett I can, Just try
me, you will see;
But I cermet stn the 'greernerit, Jdirn 'twonid
part us bblb forefet
Oh, do stop bawling so, Jolt's', rm willing to
etietc together!
Madison, May 5, ism w. c. 0.
grcritio anti Wititiono.
—The inhabitants of Sardinia are not
Sardine&
—An editot received a letter in which
weather was spelled weilinr. He said it
was the worst spell of weather he had ever
seen.
—At o New York weddin g reception iv
young lady aCcidentifily set ber back hair
on fire. When it was extingnished she
said she was glad it wasn't her best.
—'A little boy having broker/ his rock
ing horse the day it was bought, his Moth ,
er began to scold him, when ho silenced
her by inquiring, " What's the use of a
horse till it's broke?''
—" Are the jury agreed ?" asked the
judge of a court attache, whom he met on
the stairs with a bucket in his hatoL—
" Yes" replied Patrick, "they have agreed
to sind oat for a half gallon." ,
—" That man," said a wag, " came to
Nashan forty years ago, purchased a bas
ket, and commenced gathering rags. How
much do you suppose he is worth now ?"
It was a connundrurn we could not ans
wer. "Nothing," he continued, atter a
pause, "and he owes for the basket."
—lt is common to speak of those whom
a flirt hasjilted as her victims. This is a
grave error. Her real victim is the man
whom she.ericepts. This reminds us of a
smiler "A coquette is a rise-from whom
every lover plucks a lest==the thorn re
mains fur her futtirehnsbrind."
—At a school examination the teacher
asked a boy whether he could forgive those
who had wronged him?
Could yon,"
-said the teacher, a fomire
a boy..for caesurae, who bad iusult.d or
struck you?"
a Y.e-e-e, sir," replied the lad, very slow
ly, "I—think—f—could—if ho was big
ger than I gor _
Well; Tons," said a blaeksiith. to
his spmstket, (lon have been. with me
now mouths, and have been all the
different point' in onr trads. I wish to give
your ohoiceof work fora while "Thank'f,
air." gkilta, now whatiort of abbot.
apn do you lik beet. ' bluttiu' up
MONTROSE, PA., WEDNESDAY JUNE 14, 1811.
Piornantati.
THE STATISTICS OF HYMEN.
"The bard and unpleasant truth may
as well be stated," says A peeton's Journ
al, "that marriages occur to accordance
with large general facts, over which in
dividuals can exercise no authority, and
that in numbers they are in no wise af
fected by the temper and wishes of the
people. This first fact about marriage is
not only prosaic but humiliating. Shall
not these people choose companions for
life, and listen to the clesical 'What God
hath joined together let no man put
asunder,' at such time as they may mu
tually agree upon ? By no means. The
law says they shall do neither of these
things; and peculiarity of this law is that
it can not be violated. Furthermore, all
who desire it will not be permitted to
marry. What is to he said of such im
mitigable tyranny as this? Not marry
when we choose, or whom we choose!
Not to be consulted as to whether we
shall marry or not! What is life worth
if these things are to be decided without
our knowledge or consent? Not much,
. perhaps ; but we might just as well learn
the disameeable fact at once and submit
to it. .N attire is fond of cheats, and dis
plays her charlatanry irrespective of per
son—
"Men are the sport of circumstances, wbett
The circumstances seem the sport of men.
Prospero, and that Puck is after all noth
ing but the personified of corn. These
illusions and hallucinations are results of
the operation of law, and, we can not
disturb them, though we pile formula on
formula, and equation upon the revolving
earth is light us a feather, compared with
the weight of the argument. Per contra,
what cares passion fur the multiplication
table, or love for the differential calculus ?
A tico for you, law of statistics Never
theless, Maud commits an unintentional
perjury when she vows her husband shall
be the men of her choice, and we all
know that Adolphus Pitzherbert will re
peat Itome's blunder.
• Leaving the domain of fancy, we find
the plain statistical facts concerning mar
riage running somewhat in this wise:
ROMANCE VS. SIATIEMCS.
Youth has its illusions and middle
rigeits hallucinations, wherefore these
tea - ' ings of statistics may go hang. Does
not Romeo actually know that he chooses
Juliet in preference to Rosalind? Is it
at all probable that Marinda would have
escaped marriage with Caliban if she had
never met the shipwrecked Ferdinand?
Where and what is the tricksy Prick that
makes maidens see as he wills and trans-
forms Demetrions and Lysander, subject
to no law save his own? Alas! this
plodding and prosaic statist, this withered
and be-spectacled matehmatician' will
prove to you that Romeo is mieteken.
"The average age of women. when
thoy marry, is 24:46 years, and of 100
who reach this age 21 will never marry.
With men it fares differently; for, strange
as it may seem, more women than men
get married, and, of 100 of the latter
who reach the marriage age of 25:9 years,
22 will die bachelors. Thus, about one
fifth of our people are doomed to die un
wedded, whether they prefer it or not.
WIDOWS AND WIDOWERS.
" Now, the marriages that occur iu '
New York number, year by year, about
9,280-18,560 persons—and fur every one
of these marriages there will at some time
be left a widow or widower; fur it rarely
happens that husband and wife die at
the same moment. Softie of those wid
ows and widowers will remarry—more of
the latter than the former—and because
of this Fact the actual number of women
who marry will exceed the actual number
of men. The rule seems to be thetabout
one in three widowers and one in four
widows remarry.
"01 100 marriages, about 13 of the
men wilt be widowers, and only 11 of the
ivotnen will be widows, the bachelors
numbering 87 and the spinsters 89. On
general priuciptes, there may be no seri
ons objection to old Weller's advice,
gletare of ridden ;' but we, not basing
our conclusion upon domestic experience,
bat upon a series of mathematic calcula
tions, can absolutely affirm that widows
do not, by any means, monopolize the
matrimonial market, and that there is
more to be feared from one spinster than'
from a dozen widows (let bachelors make
a note of this fact), for the truth is that
spinsters have a better success winst
widows ire the hunt for husbands , than
the baebelors Wive against widowers in
I the winning of wives. And, as all the
hunting and winning is above the will,
and superior to it, we can not say 'beware'
to any, but simply admonish all to accept
the condition and to yield es gracefully
as possible to their • predestinate fate,
whatever it -may be—whether single
blessedness or wedded woe; conjugal
felicity or nnwedded discontent.
•itAtittr
Suppose there be a hundred weddings
in New - York within a given time, in all
respects of the °lenge kind, how many
of these persons VII be minors? From
Paracelsus and Cagliostro down to Home
and Fox, not one of all the soothsayers and
clairvoyants can tell' you that. Isio palm
reading gypsy, no spirit from the vast
deep, let him be called by no matter what
boasting Glendoiver, can tell half so much
of these occult events as this in terrogat
ing mathematician will learn from his
curious figures and bewildering signs.
Ask him, and he will reply, without any
mummery or gibberish, twenty-four will
have been married and about nineteen
will be under age. Of thus latter number
all but one will be women—spinsters net
yet out of their Wens. At all events, this
is the result of his present calculations,
and if time and increased nnmbers should
alter the averages, he will learn the fact
sooner than any one else. The remainder
will be bachelors and spinsters of the
average of 29:5 for the former, and 25:46
for the latter.
"What the law is that makes bachelors
so much more prudent than spinsters we
will not undertake to say* but certain it
is that maidens nuke-ma woo haste
than young men in gettieginto the enetek.
anotibil net 80,it innate Annembered,
relark wiletbisr pendeaters, =kin
ed se niarriaghble et fifteen, gig
are certainly BO tit severileeni so that. in
view of the fact that only eighteen in
every hundred of the delicate creatures
who marry are under twenty pars of age,
while forty-three of the same hundred
are between twenty and twenty and Oven ,
ty five and thirty, we must caudid4 con
fess that they manifest a degree of pru
dence in the matter that would seriously
disturb Mr. Malthus were he only aware
of it. We will not say that Marriages
previous to the adult Age is invariably in
discreet; but we will defy any man to
form a just conclusion in regard to the
age of discretion from the study of mar
riage statistics. To find this result, the
martia"e,„ and mortuary,tables must be
studied together. The , question is of
some importance, but it must be unwill
ingly deferred.
THE ELIGIBLEAGE3.
" But if women come upon the mar
riageable list earlier than men, they suf
fer the inconvenience of being striken
earlier from it. After 45, women are no
longer regarded as eligible, matrimonially.
and the demand for wives of this age is
so slight as to be hardly worth consider
ing, although we find an occasional widow
—still more rarely a spinster--willing to
marry even after having passed the
sprightly age of threescore years and ten.
Under 25 years of age the number of
women who marry is a little more than
twice as great as the number of men ;
but, after 45, the number of Benedicts is
more than thrice that of the bride& In
1,000 marriages of the average kind as to
ages, 14 women and 49 men will have
passed their ninth lustrum. Widows re
marry at an average age of 39 years, while
the average of widowers who again take
to themselves conjugal partners is 41 or
thereabout
A TABLE OP CHANCES.
" We will not undertake to tell each of
our fair readers how old she will be when
led to the altar a blushing bride, if that
should prove to be her destiny; but we
can tell her what the chances are at the,
present state of our knowledge of statisti
cal facts. If we take the weddings that
actually occur, we shall find that, in every
thousand, there will be 179 wives under
20 years, while there will be only 9 has
bands of that age. But perhaps these
facts will be better stated in statistical
terms, thus : In every thousand marri
ages there will be
Husbands. Wives.
9, : : : 179 • : Under 20 years of age.
292: : : 434 Between 20 and 25 years of age.
848 : : : 826 Between 25 and 80 years of age.
172: : : : 81 Between 20 and 35 years of age.
83 : : : 43 Between 35 and 40 years of age.
•44 : : : 20 Between 40 and 45 years of age.
25 : : : 8 Between 45 and 50 years of age.
12 : : : : 3 Between 60 and 55 years of age.
6 : : : 1 Between 55 and 60 years of age.
"The remainder, nine men and five
women, will be scattered along . between
GO and 80 years—an age at which almost
cusp c.a.. ....old be expected to know bet
ter. It win r that the
desire as well as the 4,l;ari6ficTy tor .mar
riage falls off rapidly in both sexes after
30—up to that age both seem to increase.
In 27,500 marriages, or thereabout., there
will be 119 nice and oily 16 women GO
and 70 years of age, while 14 mrti and 4
women will be between 70 and 80.
OLD MALI'S.
"Interesting as these ancients are, there
is still another class deserving of some
thing more than a passing note. We mean
old maids. flow many are there, and
what are their matrimonial chances ?
We have already stated that 21 out of
every 100 women who reach the marriage
age, namely 25:46 years, never marry.
lint even this does not tell the exact
number of marriageable women who are
waiting for husbands, if indeed so ungal
lant a thing as this may be said of any.
But, then, how is it possible to expect an
algebraic sign to be guilty of gallantry ?
From the best authority that can be bad
upon this exceedingly Interesting topic,
it appears that the number of unmarried
and marriageable women, within those
heretofore mentioned as the marriageable
ages, namely 15 and 45, is about 25 per
cent. of the whole number of women liv
ing between those ogee.
"It seems to be a part of the creed of
the discontented sisterhood, whether wives
or spinsters, that one of the inalienable
rights of woman entitles her to a husband.
It will be seen that nature has set her
face against this assumption' and makes a
very different decree. 'flie truth is that
every woman brine betneen the a g es of
15 and 45 has 25 chances in 100 ofdying
an old maid—that is, hcsi chances of mar
riage are as four to one. This is just
enough to glee them all hope, and not
sufficient to drive any to despair. The
complaints of managing mammas are of
no avail. Even the ballot will not bring
them to a better fate, and, with suffrage
or witbont it, one-fourth of all between
the above-named ages are doomed to live
in old maidenbOod and die nalnisbanded.
CONCLUSION I 3.
' Our task is done. In dealing with
these secrets we have doubtless been dull;
but these bard facts will not admit of
poetic treatment even if we were capable
of treating facts poectically. When
Benedick enumerted the virtues of the
woman he would consent to husband, he
said : 'Her hair shall be of what color it
please God.' He might have trusted the
sarmegood Providence—call it fate, destiny.
or whatever you will—for all the other
qualities just as welL An old adage says:
'llarria.Tes are made in. Heaven,' but
13enedick's was made in old Leonato's as
all know ; and it is absolutely true in
every case, as it was in the one we are
considering, that those ,raost interested
have less to do with the result than they
can well imagine, or, if they knew, would
be willing to admit. For the individual
that which he desires is good. that which
he would stain is evil; but in the grand
economy of the universe the two ore so
evenit balanced WA so closely intertwined
that e roust be bold, indeed, who would
undertake to say which is w bieb,
" Talleyrand, upon being introduced to '
two young men, one recently married,
the other still a hoehekw, called the form
gr a happy many and the latter a lucky
dttg. This is broad philosophy of ous
d e a uc ti c es. The who live unwedded
need_
- no sympathy; these who die lostriti
are worthy of no ciamfor which of the
ivasTents b bettg so one an possibly
Grials4l47-
The glary of LOUrts Mgr
Never were foity fitinates better
_spent
than by the twelve men who, in San -Fran
cisco, Wednesday afternoon, decided the
guilt of a woman who calls herself Laura
Fair. For careers less loathsome, Borgia
and Brinvilliers are synonimsof womanish
atrocity. We are no believers in thopmer.
tice of hanging, but so long as that meth
od is adopted as the highest expression of
the justice of the age, we see no reason
why a rationatwomaa who does deliber
ate murder should not suffer the penalty
equally . with her fellow-man. But we note
the universal (and creditable) shrinking
from the hanging of a woman as one of
the strong arguments against prescribing
for this crime a punishment that cannot
be en forced. Are we to hold that deliber
ate murderers of the male sex should be
hung, while equally guilty ones, who, be
ing worsen, have fallen lower to reach
that depth, should not? Is it wise tobring
law into contempt by disregarding it? Or
is it wise to have a law the execution of
which, in a case like this, will shock the
sense of the civilized world, and make
even good men hate it? Guilty as is Laura
Fair, she is a woman. She may possible
be brought to the gallows—though we
greatly doubt it; but her presence there
will make more clear to all the barbarism
of hanging—the need of some punish
ment for murder that does not make the
chances of escape for such as her so error
The lesson from the career of this wo
man cannot be emphasized by minute de
tails of her crimes, hence the full record
of the trial has found no place in oar
columns. Her life, however, is too strong
ly suggestive to be passed without a
glance. She was born in Alabama, and,
through poverty and neglect, reached
womanhood without knowing the whole
some atmosphere of home. The family
removed to New Orleans when Laura was
sixteen, and here the girl resolved to enter
the world under new circumstances.
Bright in mind and exceedingly comely
in person, she soon found fall Investment
for her capital. She caught a rich hus
band. She was eighteen and he was
eighty. His senile jealousy drove her to
the remedy of divorce ; but while the ac
tion was pending the dotard died of de=
lirinm tremens, and the adventuress found
herself the mistress of an ample fortune.
She married within a month, and in less
than three was the widow of' a suicide.
With the resemblance of decent sorrow
fresh upon her, she took another husband,
Col. Fair, and the fortune of the fire.
running low, she emigrated with this one
to Virginia City, Nevada, where she set
up a hostelry, styled the "Fair House."
The amiable Colunel made way for some
one else by blowing his brains out, and
the incorrigible widow, sated with her
matrimonial ventures, essayed fame and
fortune on the San Francisco stage. Helots
were the arts, however, which do not show
t kE Mikan ids
also her last. One conquest she made
was the final cause of the present scandal,
She captivated the susceptible heart of A.
P. Crittenden, an ex-Judge, and an emi
nent lasvyer, Practicing all the arts of a
matchless cunning, she hired him from
wife and home, rubbing him meantime of
all she could get. With his money, she
pensioned her mother comfortably and
re-established herself in the Fair House
in Virginia City. While still intriguing i
with Crittenden she met some one else I
possessed with money and made herself
his wife. Without identity or apparent
purpose, this fourth "httaband" flits auk
lessly across the hideous scene. It suited
the aim of Jezebel to remove the Naboth
that she might make her way into a neigh
boring vineyard, so she shot him. This,
at any rate, was candid; but even Neva
da frowned at it, and the enchantress was
brought to trial. She was defended by
Crittenden so eloquently and -ably, that
the Judge seems to have fbrgotten law
and the jury the facts, for she was trite
umphan tly acquitted.
—The favorite of fortune and favored of
,just l iee supported her melancholly widow- 1
hood a few months, and in 1563 made a
new marriage feast, taking to her arms a
man of doubtful month but undoubted,
wealth, who figures on the scene as "Sny
der." She looked upon Synder's money
and it was good ; she looked upon Snyder
and thought Crittenden was better. Tired
of the sanguinary method, she gave Sny
der the choice of a divorce, and, he, ami
able man, furnished a situation which,
whebn rought into court, achieved a legal
separation within a month.
Crittenden, during these matrimonial
transfigurations/ still maintained his fa
tuous devotion to the adventuress. He
gave her something like 870,000 altogeth
er. At the time of the Snyder episode
he ; ho*ever, seems to have realized the
part he was playing. lie sent for hiswife
and family, and meantime informed Mrs,
Fair that he could have nothing to do
with her. She flooded him with letters
and denunciations. She threatened an '
exposure of his relations with here Re
ceiving no answers to these mving.s, she
thrust herself upon him in his office and
avowed herself his wife. She dared him
to cast her off. The next day ebo shot
him dead, as he sat beside his wife . and
children.
01 the %fingerer the trial we have no
purpose to speak. The worn out plea of
insanity was put forth, but the pry was
not impressed with it, The woman faced
her judge end jury with matchless assur
ance in the very face of Mrs. Crittenden,
declaring her manes wife before
God." She held what is termed "silvanced views of womanhood," and some of
them she had put in pratice. Perhaps a
sober contemplaton of this fearful case
will convince ladies - of - lid wax of think
ing that those' fantastic theories vbich
strip women of the proverbial attributes
of the sex, can have we other logical' re
salt in pmetice than tC ftduce woman to
the eonditicrn of a monster. If 'the life of
Lau of
Fair murders,
who now stand convicted of
one of her ls more s
horrible' than
the lives of others of her echoed, ft Is
not because her principles are any worse
than those of tho average Malaga 1re. , 1
former, but bedamse she bibs, been wore
consistent and connwstirokin gating:Op to
their ultinn4 tadenaesminillu*t - W.
-
--Torhup4eren—Bank deb,
VOLUME.XXVIII, NUMBER 24.
A Olken* firm,
A correspondent of Notes and Queries ;
writes; In the churchyard of Tewin,
Herta, is a remarkable ash tree growing
out of the tomb of Lady Anne Onmstone,
neo Talton, daughter of lady Thanet,
who died in 1713. The tradition is that,
being doubtful of a future state, she ex
pressed a wish or prayer that if there
were aTuture state, a tree might grow out
of her heart. 'What foundation there is
for this tradition ? The editor adds, oddly
enough, the following paragraph, extract
ed from the Spiritual Times (December
23, 1865,) bearing on the same subject,
reached us simultaneously with the above.
To use the Words of our correspondent,
Mr. Axon. "Can any one elucidate this
marvelous legend ? Iro reference to it is
made in Catterbuck's History and An
tiquities of the county of Hertford." An
Atheist's prophecy fulfilled—the church
yard of Tewin in Hertfordshire is a spot
of some interest to the curious, from the
fact of its being the resting place of the
mortal remains of Lady Anne Grimstone.
The " old wife's tale" of the neighbor
hood, is to the effect that the said Lads ,
Anne (Irimstone, was an Atheist, without
the shadow of belief in the Diety, and
that so firm was her unbelief in the non
existence of God, that at her death bed
her last words were to the effect that if
God existed, seven elms would grow out
of her tombstone. Whether such words
were used, and in a nuinner, it is impossi
ble to determine, but whether the tale be
correct or not, seven elms have sprung up
through the solid tomb, and have broken
away the solid masonry in all directions,
making the reading of the inscription a
difficult and almost impossible feat. The
iron railings that surrounded the monu
ment are in many places firmly imbedded
in the trunks of the trees. 'rho nnmep
I ens names carved in all available parts of
the trunks attest the number of visitors
curiosity has drawn to the spot. The
trees are each distinct and seperate, and
notwithstanding the strangeness of the
locality, appear to thrift' well. litany
suppositions to account for their growth
have been started, but some are so impro
bable a nature that the country people
cling to their favorite old . story of Lady
Anne's atheism.
The Author of the "Lel, Cabin
Songs.
The Hon. John Greiner, ex-Governor of
New Mexico, and author of the once fa
mous 'Log Cabin' songs of the political
campaign of iSO, died in Toledo on Sat
urday morning. He was a resident of
Columbus, Ohio, and was attending the
Grand Lodge of Odd Fellows at Toledo
when he was struck with paralysis. Mr.
Greiner was born in 1810, and removed
to the State of Ohio when a boy lie was
at nrto ad— s•••[11
may
at Columbus, and afterward of The Ga
'-40R. at. _ the same place,_ and of The,
rze.szn/re Fits Times. lie took active
-wt in the early Whig campaigns of the
State; in fact, as the author of the "Log'
Cagbin Songs" and other popular political
ballads, he was one of the leaders of the
party' Among- his songs still turtifiar, in
their titles at least, oven to the younger
men of thepresent day, are "Tippecanoe
and Tyler too." and "old Zip Coon! Ile
composed the music to accompany his
songs; and the people seized upon both
air and words with enthusiasm and eager
ness. lie frequently sang his own songs
at immense gatherings during the excite
ment of the canrpsign ; and other tongues
than his echoed them at monster Whig
meetings in all party of the country, North
and South. Mr. Greiner was appointed
Indian Agent by President Taylor, and
President Filmore afterward appointed
him Governor of New Mexico. He was
absent in the far West about nine years:
On bia return be found political combina
tions with which he was unfamiliar, and
in widch he took little interest. This re
lative positions of men whom he had rid
iculed of praised were in many cases
changed, and be has been heard of but
little during late years, At the time of
his death, he had retired from editorial
duties, and was engaged in business of
' Columbus.
THE Cnnoxonixrt.—An interesting
object is the chronophet, or instrument
from which all England is supplied with
the correct time. Sixteen of the most
important cities in the Kingdom are in
direct communication with this instru
ment, which is in itself in direct com
munication with the Observatory Green
wich. At 9.`58 o'clock every morning fill
other work is suspended, in order that
there may be no interference with what is
called the "time current," which, precise-'
ly at the striking of the clock, flashes the
intelligence to the sixteen stations with
which it is in communication. And not
merely at these large towns, bat at every
post-office thistinghout the Kingdom ; the
clerks, at 9:58 o'clock, are on the lookout
for the signal which is being passed along
their line, aid the clocks adjusted ftecottr
ingly. Messrs. Dent Benson, and all the
principle match-makers in London receive
time every hour from this clironopher.
Time guns at Newcastle and at Shields
are also fired ata p. in., by batteries con
nected with the cbrenopher, the clock at
tached to which is regulated for accuracy
to trio twentieth part of a second.
Tarts Tumme—The sweetest, the
most clinging affection is often shaken by
the slightest breath of unkindness, as the
ilelicataiings and tendrils of the vines
are agjated by the faintest air that blows
iti ma;•mer. An unkind word from ono
beloved often draws bkical from many a 1
heart which meld defy the battle ax of
hatred or the keenest- edge- of vindictive
entire. Nay, the shade; the gloom ofr the
face igniter rend dear. awakens grief and
pate. Thane are the little - thorns which,
though mascot' rougher form may make
their way, thwregb there without feeling
them much, extremely :incommode per ,
eons of e more refined turn in their jour
nay through life, and make theirtravoling
irksome and troplesemt: '
.-An I:W=1 sent to - the Thiiiievin
s tats , r i m was aped on to , ottookra
to io% millet the - be prefer:el to 1*
isilorf
Chinese Wonion.
Mrs. S. L. Baldwin, the missionary to
China, lectured in Philadelphia recently.
Of the women of China she said : The
women of China are divided into two
classes—the bound-footed, who are the
ladies, and the large footed, who are the
common class. The latter earn the
burdens, do all the drudging and out
door work, while their hushed& do noth
ing. When a little girl is bont, the Ira .
ents think the gods are angry with them,
and they hold a consolation Whether, she
shall be allowed to live or not. If she is,
when she arrives at the ego of four they
hold another consnitatiori whether site
shall be a bound footed or a large •footed
woman. If she is chosen to be a bound*
footed, she is not permitted to do any
thing, but if otherwise she has to be the
family's slave. I have seen a women with
four children strapped to her back and
rowing a boat, while her husband laid in
his cabin smoking his pipe. Girls hate
no choice of their husbands; the young
girl is sold by her parents at the highest
price they can obtain for her, until after
they are married. If he chooses he can
be divorced frond het for talking too mach;
if he becomes poor, or gets tired of her,
he sells her again. In the coldest Weath
er the large footed women efeirot allowed
to wear stockings, and cannoc dress in
any other colors than black or blue. The
manner in which they make their fee;
small is by binding the four toes under
the foot, which they keep bottud up for
abont eleven years, When thafxrtbecomer
deed. I have walked through the *tete
when the women would brush against my
dress so atko see cry feet, so that
could tell to what class I bele
vronhl say to them, "I will show you lay
feet, bnt do not pull my clothes, at it it
rude." When I would expose rm !Mt to
them they would exclaim: "Why, bate
you no teal ladies in America r And
the only way that I could make them be
lieve that we bad, wits by teUitig them
that the women read beoka like the men*.
which utterly astouished them as them*
Chinese are brought, tip in the utmost
ignorance, and they only marry in the
nch families, becausathey know and do
so little, and need so much waiting on
that it takes a rich husband to support
them. If you ask a Chinese woutan host.
many chiMren she has, she WM give yon
only the number of boys. She he! hd be
asked the second time how many gals she
has, as they are thought ao little of that
in many cases they are killed as soon as.
born: A large footed wotrian told NUS
once that her first child was a little girl,
and she described to me how she lend
the little one. "My husband Wont out,"
she said, "and brought in .a tub of water.
I begged him to spare its life, but he took.
the little one dud put its head in the wat
er and held it there nett! it Was dead."
_ • •
was served the same as the first # the third
child was boy he lived until be wan
about four years old, the gods got angry
arid frilled him;
then the husband died;
"and if I eat anything that is nice, and if
I wear good clothed, My relatives become
angry and treat me harshly." Even in
our Christian chamber. in China the we.
men are not allowed in the same room
with the men, but are partitioned off in
a lattice work room.
A Fatsaiien Female.
We do n'ot irsnally give gtatnitons in. •
sertion to advertisements, but the folio"-
ing, published in the last number of the -
Monongahela "Republican,* and its genui
neness vouched fel, we consider' too good
to be lost. It is a novel contribution to:
literature and should be preserved:
$lOO inwanm—=For the apprehension .
of Zents Tuttle, d tall man, about fifty
years has considerable money and hig
forehead, long fads and lantern-Pawed'
man, a had noun with a fist like a pinto I
and has often beat me, and I want him to
end his days in the penitentiary where he ,
helongt, and he wears is gray coat, withal'
very large Mouth. and one blue eye, and '
one blr6l eye, and a hideous looking men,
and now living with the seventh woman,.
and me huving_cde child with him. and ,
he has gone off, and I want him brougl_it,
slap Op 1 i the with blue pants. He
ought to be arrested, and has a hundred"
dollars of my money, and a bald-headed
rascal, full of flattery and deceit, and auk
is a bad woman, and her little git) ,
him papa, and is called ghee Jane i t Me g
and a boy blind of one eye, and he is not
a man what has got any too much sense,
tor her. And he stole one hundred dol•
lars from me and some of ray gold and •
silver, and ought to be caught, and I . will:,
never live with him again, no never, he la .
a disgrace, and I would like to hate bins
caught up and compelled to maintain me
and his child, as I am his lawful wedded
wife, and have the certificate of marriage
in my possession. NANCY Tufri. l 4..
Finleyville, Pa., April 1871,
Clown Diimorms.—The erowa pl
England contains 1,700 almond", add is
valved at 8500,000.
The crown of Peters contains 887 diii•
moods. IL
The crown of Ivan contains 841 dis
wands.
The Imperial croft of Emma' °Dui:still:
2,500 diamonds.
The crown of Franco contains ii ; 26
diamonds.
Among dealers and connoisseurs it, is
unilerstoixi that the finest collection,*is
whole, is that of the Emperor of ion&
Ilts.,(ltspActoitt.
Fellow ?"
"No, sir; I've been married for ~ a
weee
" 1 mean do you belong to tho tiaoi. of
Odd Fellows?" .
"No, no ; 1 belong to Ma onierat MO',
tied men."
" Mercy. how dumb' ,Are you s Ma
son ?" ,
- No; I'm, a carping& 'by trade
" Worse and worm, Are you a 'Son of
Temperas:co te' 4, , `t.
‘-‘ Bottler you trio, rasa son of M.r.Joha:
PosliNte • ' .
, The gum* went sway.
--,, , - ,
4—Wheitrift,thet gees up the hal . ittS
aticruever morel P Tim
r 5 5
"Are you an Odd,