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.
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MON Tr: -. .....":„. .-..• S - •• DE S
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'-, C RAT
E. B. HAWLEY, Proprietor.
tint tub.
REAL ESTATE AGENCY,
MONTROSE, PA.
• - -
11111iTEIOLIP & PleKETTateal Estate Aitantiqat A.W.
Berth.)les oftlec, Atey at Law) In Drlck [Lock, over
Wlleon's atom. All those desiring to sell or purchase
'• mai estate in Penns,lrani*, New Jersey and New
York, will do well to call or address us. with stamp
- aselosed. They are advertising eaten dray in the
above territory. Best at references given, if desired.
a. w. DCWI9IOI.I. O. a. IMCKLTT.
Nov. 16, 13:0.—y
CHARLES N. STODDARD,
Dealet tn Boole and Stne, Rats and Cape..Leatber and
Findings, Main Street. net door below Boyd'a Store.
Work made to order, and repairing done neatly.
Montrose, Jan. 1, 1540.
LITTLES & BLAKESLEE,
Atterneve and ConnaeDort at law. 0 ffiCo the one
hereto:4one occupied by IL B. & G. P. Little. on Math
alreet, ?dontrose, Pa. (April %I.
D. urruc. OEO. LITTLS. 5. 1.. BLAKESLEE.
E. MCKENZII. C: C. FACTIOT, U. MCCAIN.
MeRENZIE, FAIIROT dr. CO.
Dealers In Dry Goods, Clethlng, Ladles , and Misses
fine Shoes. flan, agents, for the great American
Ten and Cot Tee Company. (Montrose, Pa , op. 1,10.
LEWIS WVOLL,
- - - -
• SIIAVIO AND 11Alit DRESSING.
Shop in thp new Postottice hailding, where be wilt
he round ready to attend all who may want anything
In his line. dlontroae, Pa. Oct. 11, I.W J.
I'. REYNOLDS,
AUCTIONEER—SeI I I 4 Dry Goode, and lierchanire—also
attends at Vendnes. All ardent left at my house will
receive prompt attention. LOct. I, left—t(
0. NE HAWLEY',
DRAI.EII in DRY GOODS, GROCERIES. CROCKERY
Hardware. Mu., Cap?, Boot, Shoo , . Ready Made Cloth
lag • PninM, OD,, etc., New Milford, Pa. [Sept. 8.
DR. S. W. DAYTON,
SURGEON, tenders Ws services to
Inc citizen, of Great Bend And vitinity. Mee at tits
residence, opposite Barnum House, Wt . Bond village.
Sept. tot, Itti3.—tl
LAW OFFICE
CU..MBF.RLTN ..t, ItIeCOT.I.I - M, Attorney. and Coon ,
' , enure at Law. 011 Ice in the Britk Work over llw
Dank. [MI-nitro:4, AMT. 4. I,A ..
A. CIIAMBEULIS. . - J. 11. McCol..i.cm.
'
A. eic D. It. LATIIIIOP,
11E.ILEI{S in I)ry Goods, Groct.rics,
erne:cry and glnestrare:table and porket cutler,.
Paints. 0110. dcstuns. Hats. boots and shoes. role
I...tther. Perfumery ac. prick adjoining, the
Iltelk. Montrose. [ Augoet 11. Ino.—lt
A. Laenuor, - • I). H. Ls mtnor.
A. 0. WARREN,
ATTORNEY A . LAW. Bounty, Rack Pay. Pension.
and Exem (.11 Claims attended to. ow". II
”or bcloa BO3Trr Store. Mantra...Ps. [As.
W. W. WATSON,
ATToTtNEY 11T LAW, Ainutnn,c. Pa. 019 re with L
F. FtWh. Nuntrose, Aug. ,1,1563.
IMMIii
'M. C. SUTTON,
Auctioneer, and Insurance Agent,
Frlrnd•ville, Pa
C. S. GILBERT,
81a0ti0r1.43431 - .
Great Bend, Pa
Q. ca.
nugl u9l(
Alll ELY,
17, EP. 8-4.3.citiczo33.cbor.
Ane. t. 180. Add.ess, Brooklyn, Pa
30311 GROVES,
F lsiltitNAßLE Montrose. Po. Shop over
Chandler's Store. AP orders Wird In drat-rate style.
o Lung dons on short notice, and warranted to tit.
W. W. SMITE,
C 131 N ET AND Mil 31A.Zi VIA(.II"REIIS.P 1 . 01
of Motu etroct, 31maro5e li ,
jaug. 1. Isl 4.
U. Et UUR ITT,
DRALERin Staple and Few" Dry Goodo, Crorker,
Hlr‘DrAre, iron, Stoves. Dro 011.. and Patois ,
boor...and Shoat, Hates Cape. Faro, Dudalo
Doben
Groecries.Pruvialone, c , New Milford, Pa.
DU. E. P. lIMES,
nas permaceutly located at Friendeville for the pnr
bran
pose
ctroosf p. Il ruat e may g
be found medicine
at the ks and •urgaryon Hla allouse. It.
Jac
Ocoee boort from Ba. to., to 8 p. in.
Friendsvtlie, Pa., Aug, 1. I .
STROUD it BROWN,
PERIL AM) LIP'S 1:197:IA1CH ACZNTS. Al'
bad IMP! attended to promptly. on fair tome. Office
Cut duo nortt of ' Motaroao Hotel," areal PI& o'
l'oblic Avenue, Montrose, Pa. [Aug. 1.1e49.
litts-rama STROM.. - Caarums L. 111:01P11.
JOM SA UTTER,
RESPECTFULLY announce, that he
Pared to cut all kinds of Garments in the mos,
fashionable Style, warranted to to with elmanc,
ud ease. Shop ov er the Post Otuce, Montrose. Pa.
WM: D. LUSK,
•
ATTORNEY AT LAW, Ifinntrrnm. Pa. 0111 co oppo
site the Turbot! House, near the Court Hone.
Aug. 1. 186:).-1f •
DB. W. W. SMITH,
DENTIST. Boomsßoyd Corwin's Hard
;me Store. OMee hfr to
. o om 9a. . to p. m.
Houtzoae, Aug, 1, ISO9,—fif
ABEL TURRELL,
- - -
P &ALM?. in Druus, Patent Medicines, Chemical.
Liquors. Paints. Oils,Dye Stars. Vurnishes, Wiu
Glass, Groceries, Giese Ware, Wall and wiutlott Pa,
Trustee,
Lamps, Kerosene'
i Pile
Trustee, Gone, Ammuultion, Kosca. Spec eel
es
Brushes. Fancy P.rfa
being tone oldie mead numerous. extensire, and
valuable collections of Goods In Susquebiuma Co.—
Establiehed In 1848. [Montrose, Pa.
D. W. SEARL.E,
ATTORNEY AT LAW. office over the Store of .
1400 op ,is the Brick Block, Alontroee, Pe. tatfl'69
DR. W. L. RICHARDSON,
porsicuar & fltitGEON. tender's hie prote.foral
.services to the citlzeos of BlOntrOge sod vicinity
Offiee st hle residence, on the tomer cost or vicin i t y '
Ilroe.Youndry. [Aug,. 1, I$l,V.
DR. E. L. GARDNER,
PHYSICIAN and SURGEON, Montrose. Pa. Give.
especial attention to diseases of the Heart and
Appass.and -ail ftarglesl diseases. Mince over W. B.
Dcan.4 Boards at Searle's Hotel. [deg. I. 1E49.
IBURNS & NICHOILS,
ARS fn Druge,ldellclnes, Cheri:llml*, Dye.
P—as, Weds, Oils, Varnish, Liquors, Spices. Fancy
art_cuss,Faleut lliediclncs, Perfumery mod Toilet *s
tades. gSEPPreacriptions carefully compounded.—
Pautic Avenue, above Liotel, !dot:arose, Pa
A. 9. Sams, Aims biscuois.
Aug. 1, 18690 •
en. E. la LIANDRICK,
& SITEGEON, respectfully tenders ht.
professlosalzervices to the citizen of il'irtendsrille
*ad tar. Office 'nth.: office of Dr. Leet
Boards at J. Uosford's. Aug. 1,180.
rigor.' MORRIS,
?he ilsytt Barber, returns his thanks for the kind pat.
wow that has enabled htm to get the best rest—ha I
! I ttaa'nt time tb tell the whole story. but nome
and we for yonrseres f:Y 'at the Old Stand. No loud
butting allowed in the shop. [April 13, ISIO.
.TEWELRY.
- •
A Mew and Larne supply,
Montrose, Zios.l4, 1562. ABML TUMULI.
CONGRESS WATER, .
at TURRELL'a
worEo fOrntr.
Autumn Woods.
En) In the Northern gale
The summer tresses of the tree are gone,
The woods of autumn, all around our Tula,
Have pat their glory on.
Tim mountains that unfold,
In their wide sweep, the colored landscape
round,
Seem groups of giant kings in purple and in
gold,
That guard enchanted ground.
I roam the woods that crown
The upland, where the mingled splendors glow;
Where the gay company of trees look down
On the green field below.
My step' are not alOno
In these bright milks ; the sweet southwest, at
play,
Flies, nestling, where the painted 'mires are
strewn
Along the winding way
And far in heaven, the while,
The sun that sends the butte to wander here,
Pours out on the fair earth his quiet smile—
The sweetest of the year.
Where now the solemn shade—
Verdure and bloom where many branches meet
Su grateful when the noon of summer made
The valleys sick with heat.
Let in through nil the to
Come the strange raps; the forest depth& are
Their sunny;coloreti foliage, in the bivezo.
Twinkles like lxatms of light
The rivulet, late unseen,
Where, flickering through the shrubs, its waters
Shines with the image of its golden scream,
And glimmering of the sun.
• But 'neath you crimson tree,
Lorer to 11.f-ening maid might bremtlin his flame
Nor mark, within its rmtrate canopy,
Iler blush of maiden shame.
Oh ! Autumn, why so soon
Depart the litu-s that make the forests glad
Thy gentle wind and thy fair, sunny noon,
And leave thee wild and sad ?
Ah ! 'twere a lot too blot,
Forevor in thy crleml shadci to stray;
Amid the kisses of the son south-west
To roam and dream for aye
Antl lenve the vain, low strife
That makes than utatl—the tug fur wealth and
The pa,siona and the cares that wither lifo
And waste the little Lour.
ON LIFE.
Say whet is life ? A fleeting dream,
Ilalf past e'er yet begun,
The struggling, halt unconscious gleam
Of Winter's clouded sun ;
One arid waste of cares and mars,
Coeval with our breath,
Which grow but with the tide of years,
And culminate in death.
A tender flower is opening bloom
Beneath the sun's strong ray ;
Ere night has spread her shroud of gloom
To save it from decay,
It pines and fades—its lovely head
Bedecks its native earth—
No more its pristine glory Is shed
Around its ptace of birth.
Such and so transient is our part
Amidst this shadowy spene ;
The worm deceitfui gnaws the heart,
While still the leaf is green.
One hour around the brightening way
Hope ekAts her genial breath ;
The next, we lie the destined prey
Of stern unsparing death.
Is this the gem so highly prized
lic man's vain erring heart, -
In the gay world of life baptised,
Which must so soon depart
0, sly not no—lwould ill become
1.7 s creatures of n day,
To waste our hearts on earthy scum,
On fleeting dust and clay.
VARIETIES.
—Mrs. Emily Stalker has been ordain
ed in the lowa ministry,
—ln Scranton, deacons are expelled
from the church for saying "by thunder."
Serves 'em right.
—The crop of " General Leee coach
men" in the South is likely to be very
large.
—About three hundred of Jeff Davis'
coachmen have won great favor with the
Radicals—one of them in Congress.
—All Boston is humming a new song
called ,4 Let Me Be." It.-replaer. " Shoo
fly."
—The social question' in Washington
just now is, " can a Cabinet!officer liveon
his sallow." Deprive them of the steal
ings, and they would full back on their
old. habits of till-lifting.
—Pig's Eye is the romantic name of
one of the new cities of Itinnesota.
—What was the first bet wade—the al
pha-bet. _
—Some "angel in disguise" at Evans- .
yille, Ind., recently indulged in the fiend
ish sport of cutting the tongues from live
cogs. •
—Queen Victoria's list of grand-child
ren incre d ases rapidly. The lust arrival is
the son of the rnncess Louise of Hesse-
Darmstadt.
—The Catholic cathedral at lowa City,
having been built upon an insecure foun
dation, is expected to fall at any moment.
it cost $89,000.
—A German cornet player who went
to hear Nillson, says there ►s not enough
oilier; He wants singer who looks like
"a fedder•bed mite a string tied round der
middle."
prottaTatid losing Missouri father,
in setting forth the accomplishments of
his daUghter, said she could a evert tatiug
ly paw Ivory and howl late st male."
MONTROSE, PA., WEDNESDAY NOV. 23, 1870.
lattrOUO.
A IHAN WITH TWENTY WIVES.
A Mormon Romance.
CHAPTER MORMON'S DEPARTURE.
The morning on which Reginald Glov
er/son was to leave Great Salt Lake City
with a mail train dawned beautifully.
`Reginald Gloverson was a young and
thrifty Mormon, with an interesting
family of twenty young and handsome
wives.
His union had never been blessed with
children. As often its once a year he us
ed to go to Omaha, in Nebraska, with a
mule train for goods; but although he
had performed the rather perilous journey
many times with entire safety, his heart
was strangely sad on this particular morn
ing tilled withgloomy forebodings.
rhe time for his departure had arrived
—the high-spirited mules were at the
door, impatiently champing their bits.
The Mormon stood sadly among his weep
ing wives.
" Dearest ones," he said, "I am singular
ly sad at heart this morning; but do not
let this depress you. The journey is a
perilous one, but—pshaw! I have al
ways come back safely heretofore, and
why should I fear. Besides, I known
that every night, as I lay down on the
starlit prairie your bright faces will come
to me in my dreams and make my slum
bers sweet and gentle. You, Emily, with
your mild blue eyes; and yon,Henrietta,
with your splendid black hair; and you,
Neliy, with your hair so brightly, beauti
fully golden; and you, Mollie, with your
cheeks so downey ; and yon, Betsy, with
your—with your—that is to say, Susan,
with your—and the Oilier thirteen of you,
each so good and beautiful, will come to
me in .sweet dreams, will you not, dear
gists ?"
" Our own," they chimeil, "we will."
"And so farewell!" cried Reginald.
"Come to my ads, my own!" he cried,
that is, ns many of you as can do it
conveniently at once, for now I Must
away."
He folded several of them to his throb
bing breast, and drove sadly away.
But he had not gone far when the
trace of the off-hind mule became un
hitched. Dismounting, lie essayed to
adjust the trace; but ere he had fairly
commenced the task the mule, a singular
refractory animal, snorted wildly and
kicked Reginald frightfully in thestomach.
He arose with difficulty and tottered feeb
ly toward his mother's house, which was
near by, fell dead in her yard, with the
remark, -Dear mother, FYI, come home
to die."
"So I sec , ," she said ; "where's the
mules ?"
Alas! Reginald Gloverson could give
no answer. In vain the heart-stricken
mother threw herself upon his inanimate
form, crying, ''Oh, my son, my son ! only
tell me where the Mtllo3 are and then you
may die if you want to."
In vain, in vain! Reginald had passed
on.
CA A PTER IL -PUN ERA T. TRA PPINGS
The mules was never ftw tid
Reginald's heart-broken mother took
the body home to her unfortunate sows
widow& But before her arrival, she in
dik'rectly sent a boy to burst the news
gently to the afflicted wives, which he
did by informing them, in u hoarse wis
per. that their "old man had gone in."
The wives felt very badly indeed.
"lie was devoted . to me,' sobbed Em
ily.
" And to me," k said Maria.
" Yes," said Eftrilv, -he thought con
siderable of you, but not so much us lie
did of me."
" I say lie didn't!"
"He did!"
" Don't look at me, with, your squint
eyes!"
" Don't shake your red head at me!"
"Sisters," said the black-haired Hen
rietta, "cease this unseemly wrangling.
I, as his first wife, shall strew flowers on
his grave."
No von won't" said Susan. "I, as
his lust wife, shall strew flowers on his
grave. It's my business to strew."
" You shan't—so there:" said Henri.
ttte.
" You bet I will," said Susan, with a
ar-suffused cheek.
" Well, as fur me," said tile practical
Betsy, `•I :Met on the strew much, but I
shall ride at the head of the funeral pro
cession."
"Not if I've been introduced to my
self, you won't," said the golden-haired
Nelly ; ''that's my position. You bet
your bonnet strings it is."
"Children" said Reginald's mother,
"you must do some crying, you know, on
the day of the funeral; and how many
pocket handkerchiefs will it take to go
around? Betsy, you and Nelly ought to
make one do between you."
" 11l tear her eyes out if she perpetu
ates a sob on my handkerchief," said
Nelly.
"bear danghter-in-law." said Regi
nald's mother, "how unseemly is this
anger. Mules of. five hundred dollars a
span, and every identical mule my pour
boy had has been gobbled up by the red
man. I know %rhea s my Reginald stag
gered into the door yard that he was on
the die, but if I'd only thank to ask him
about them Tulles ere his gentle spirit
took its flight, it would have been four
thousand dollars in our pockets, and no
mistake. Excuse these real tears, but
you've never felt a parent's feelings."
" It's an oversight," sobbed Maria. "Do
- not blame ne,"
CHAPTER 111.-DCBT 20 DUST.
The funeral passed off in a very pleas
ant manner, nothing occurring to mar
the harmony of the occasion. 13y a hap
py thought of Ilegi nald's.mother, the wives
walked to the grave-twanty abreast, which
rendered . that part of the ceremony
thoroughly imrtial.
. That night - the twenty wives, with
heavy hearts, sought their twenty respec
tive conches, .
Iu another house, not many leagues
from the , house of mourning, a . gray,
haired . woman was weeping passion
"Re, died," she cried, "he died with-
out sig,nerfymg, in any respect, where
them mules went tul"
CIIAPTEE lIRI ELI AGAIN
Two,years elapse between the third and
fourth chapters. A manly Mormon, one
evening, as the snu was preparing to set
among a select assortment of gold and
crimson clouds in the w,estern &risen—
although for that matter the Emu has a
right to "set" where it wants to, and so,
I may add, has a hen—a manly Mormon,
I say, tapped gently at the door of the
late Reginald Gloversou.
The door was open by Mrs. Susan
Gloverson.
"Is this the house of the widow Clot - -
erson ?" the Norman asked.
" It is." said Susan.
"And how many is there of she ?" in
quired the Mormon.
"There is about twenty of her, includ
ing me," returned Susan.
" Can I see her ?"
" You can."
" Madam," lie softly said, addressing the
twenty disconsolate widows, "1 have seen
part of you before. And although I've
already twenty-five wives, whom I respect
and tenderly care fur, I can truly say
that I never felt love's holy thrill till
saw thee! Be mine? be mine !" he en
thuriasically cried, "and we will show the
world a striking illustration of the
beauty and truth of the noble lines, only a
good deal more so— •
"Twenty-one souls with a single
thought.
Twenty-one hearts that beat as one."
" They were united—they were."—..4r
/emus Il'ard.
4121:0
MaxleVs Experience as a Smoker.
At the meeting of the British Associa
tion for the advancement of Science, a
paper on the use and abuse of tobacco
eallad up Prof. Huxley, the President of;
the association, who gave an amusing
account of his experience of smoking.
He said he was placed in a rather awk
ward position with regard to the question
of smoking, for, for forty years of his life,
tobacco had been to him a deadly poison.
lie was brought up as a medical student,
and he had every temptation to acquire!
the art of smoking, but his smoking,
after a few puffs, always resulted in his
finding himself on the floor. He failed
to become a smoker when he was an of-'
ticer in the navy, and he had for a long
time a great antipathy to smokers. But,
sonic few years ago he was making a tour
in Brittany, whim he staid at an old inn !
it was awfully wet and cold without, and
a friend of his took to smoking. and'
tempted him to have a cigar. His friend !
looked so happy, the tire was so warm
within the inn, and it was so cold with
out, that he thought he would try to
smoke, and he found himself a changed
man. lie found that he was in a posi
tion of lamentable percent (laughter), i
and his case would illustrate to them the
os-it of bad lba pop_
son who led Into astray was most dis
tingnished and a late President of this
association. From that day lie dated his
ruin (laughter) for from that day, when
: ever smoking was going on, they might
be pretty sure that lie joined in it. There
was a certain substantial kind of satis
faction about smoking, if kept in modera
tion ; and he must say this for tobacco,
that it was a sweetner and equalizer of
the temper. lie was glad to state that in
his upiaion, there was nothing worse
than excessive smoking; hitt any one
could undertake to destroy himself with
green tea or ally other article of diet, if
! carried to excess
—a- al& .e--
it Shetland Paper
" Dan Rice, the showman." who has
probably surpassed all "professionals," in
his day in training representatives of the
genus equine, including horses, asses,
mules and zebras, has a very exulted op
inion of the merits of the Shetland pony.
At one time he possessed a remarkably
fine one, which was so small that he tried
to bring it into the ring in his arms.
This was a most taking incident with the '
juveniles, and they expressed their feeling
by clapping their tiny hands, and giving
utterance to shouts of leaughter, Some'
buys of our acquaintance had a Shetland .
pony which afforded an infinite sight of
hearty, healthy amusement by dragging a
little wagon along a country road. 2he
fun-loving pet evidently enjoyed the ex
citement quite as much us his more in
telligent friends. So lung as he was treat
ed fairly he would, after his fashion, do
honest work, but if :overloaded he express
ed his indignation by vigorously hammer
ing his heels against the dashboard of the
wagon. Having once caught his foot in
I a bridge floor which he was often ob
liged to cross, he would never after that
I voluntarily tread- upon what be presumed
to be treacherous ground. His biped
companions effected a satisfactory com
promise on these occasions by "unhitch
tug" and placing the pony in the wagon.
Thus disposed of he was dragged over
the treacherous bridge and tackled up on
the opposite side.—Appleton '8 Jun rue!.
- ----.0.410.--
Too Late.
In Harrisburg there is a fascinating
woman who has been married four times
within ten years, and there are at least a
dozen men so anxious to get her that they
have remianed bachelors in the hope that
her last husband would follow in the foot
steps
of his predecessors. Sure enough,
a few weeks ago the man died, and all
these fellows began immediately to pre
pare for opening the earnpain against the
widow. One man, nameellyde, deter
mined to have. the first chance; so he
jammed himself into the widow's carriage
on its way home from the funeral. Tak
ing her hand, looking with tender
glances upon the handkerchief with
which she sopped her dutiful tears, he
asked her to be his—to let him take the
plade of the dear departed, And to com
fort her in bereavement, The widow re
moved her handkerchief and said : "Mr.
llyde, "should gladly consider your offer,
and perhaps I might have accepted it,
but'you are too late ; the minister propos
ed in the graveyard while you were
lotierini the coffin, and I said, Yes ! But
I tell yon what I will do—l'll give you
the first chance after he dies!"
Mr. Hyde said he would wait.
Sam ILatvaln on the Hokum Family.
They had a putty bad name them Ilok-
UMB.
How they got a livin' nobody knew, for
they didn't seem to pay no attention to
raisin' nothin' but children but the deuce
knows there was plenty o' them. Their
hut was like a rabbit-pen,—there was a
tow head to every crack and cranny.
'Member what old Csesar said once when
the word come to the store that old Ho
kum' had got twins, 'S'pose de Lord
know best,' says Ccesar. 'but I thought
dore was llokinns enough afore' 11 - al, ev
en poor workin' industrious folks like me
finds it's hard getiu' along when there so
many mouths to feed. Lordy massy,
there don't never seem to be no end on't
and so it ain't wonderful come to think
on't of folks like them Hokums gets
tempted to help along in ways that ain't
quite right. Anyhow folks did use to
think that old Hokum was too sort o, fa
miliar with their wood-piles 'long in the
night, though they couldn't prove it on
him ; and when Mother Hokum come to
houses round to wash, folks use sometimes
to miss pieces here and there, though
they never could find 'em on her; then
they was alleys a gettin' in debt there.
Why, they got to owiu' two dollars to
Joe Gidger for butcher meat. Joe was
sort of good-natured and let 'em have
meat, 'cause Hokum he promised so fair
to pay, but he couldn't never get it out o'
him. 'Member once Joe walked clear up
to the cranberry-pond arter that two dol
lars' but Mother Hokum she see Lim a
comin, just as be comes past the juniper
bush on the corner. She says to Hokum,
'Get in bed, old man, quick and let the
tell the story,' says she. So she covered
him up, and when Gidger conic in she
come up to him and says she, 'Why Mr.
Gidger, I'm jist ashamed to see ye; why
Mr. liokum was jist a cumin' down to pay
ye that are money last week, but ye' see
he was took down with the small-pox—
Joe didn't hear no more; be jist turned
round and he streaked it out that door
with his coat-tailOyin' out straight ahind
him and old Mother Hokum sheijist stood
at the window hold' her sides and laugh
in' tit to split to see him run. That are's
jist a sample u' the ways them Hukums
cut up.
Old Mother Hokum was a sort o' enter
prisiu old erittur,—facts was she had to
be, 'cause the young Hokums was jist
like bag-worms,—the more they grooved
the more they eat. and I expects she
found it pretty hard to fill their mouths.
Befriending Young People,
When John Wesley saw a young man
in danger of falling into the snare of evil
associates, he did nut watch him sharply
at a distance, and speak of hie short
comings to others, predicting that he was
"on the high road to ruin."
lie invited him to his table, and by a
genial, atflible manner, sought to give
him good subject for thought, or hints fur
conduct. Advice thus hospitality enforc
ed was very impressive, lie would draw
out a young man in conversation, and
learn NI hat studies lie was most proficient
in, which were essential to his success,
and then assist him to acquir the mastery
of them.
Another most valuable way of aiding a
young man whom social danger threaten
ed, was to make him acquainted with well
disposed, religious young men, who - would
lead them into good paths. Then he
watched over their future career with a
father's interest and tenderness. Then
in a very simple manner be accomplished
a vast amount of good, besides preventing
a world of evil.
The Christian duty of hospitality is too
much neglected by Christians, They
loose by inhospitality many precious op
portunities of doing good and getting
good. There is nothing that endears the
heart of the young and of the stranger
More than a warm home welcome from
those on whom they have no claim. It
opens the heart's door wide to receive im
pressions of b crood and fills the memory
with grateful remembrances,
"That Wkp ma n is a Christian if ever
there was one," said a poor painter boy to
me about a kind old lady who had be
friended him in his loneliness and prov
erty. She had given him many a meal
when hungry; called him in her pleas
ant doorway to receive a pocketfull of
cakes, and once when sick, had taken
him home and nursed him with a mother's
tenderness. The boy is a man now, but
the memory of that little kindness will
never fade from his heart.
If you wish to be good. to the young,
prove yourself, indeed, a generous luviug
friend to'them.
Scene at a Railroad Station.
At one of the railroad depots in the
vicinity of Elizabeth, Me., intending trav
elers were recently unused in this wise:
A countryman purchased a ticket, and
thus addressed the agent:
'Stranger, I want to leave my dog in
this ere office until the train starts. I'm
afraid somebody will steal him."
"You can't do it," said the clerk.
"rake him out."
"Well, stranger, that is cruel ; but
yill're both dis r positioned alike, and he's
kinder company for you."
"Take him out, roared the clerk.
"Well, stranger, I don't think you're
honest, and you want, watching. Here,
Dragon," he said to the dog, "sit down
here and watched that fellow sharp:" and
turning ou his heel, he said to the clerk:
"Put him out, stranger, if he's trouble
some !"
The dog remained there until the train
started, watching and growling at every
movement of the clerk, who gave him the
better part of the office. .
—"11 hat's the matter, my dear ?" said
a wife to her husband, who had sat for
half an hour with his - face bnried in his
hands, apparently in great tfibnlation.
"Oh ? I don't know," said he. " I have
felt like a fool all day." "Well," replied
hirloving wife, consolingly, "I'm . afraid
you will neisi get any better; 'you, luck
the very picture
VOLUME XXVII, .N . U*xmat i 4
Nitwit, • lrevathes, Nag.
I have a horse hy . the name of ' Jerico. 1
He is a mare. I have seen remarkable !.. Hotels are houses or refuge, homes for
horses before, but none so remarkablevagrants, tho ;married; plail t a retretit i
this. I wanted a horse that would shy, ! and the bachelor's fireside .. .
and this tills the bill. I had an idea. that They are kePt, in all . serta or ways, stun
shying indicated spirit, If it is correct, on the EurOpeaii Plan,'ind menny ov
I have themost spirited horse .on earth. ; them ou no plait at'all ' -
Ile shies at everything he comes to with i A good landlord.• iz like a good step
the utmost partiality, He appears to I mother, be knows his biziness and ;mans
have amortal dread 'of telegraph poles es- Ito dU his duty.,:. _• „ • •
pecially; and it is fortunate that these • He knowelibw to rub his bands will;
are on both sides of the road, because it '
. joy- when a harder draws nigh. he knows
is uow, I never fall off twice iu succession now to Smile, he knows yure wife's father
on the same side. If I fell on the same ! when h e waz li v i n g, aw l y ar n wife!. fire,
kide always, it would get monotonous of-' husband, but he -don't speak about WM; '
ter awhile. The creature shied at every- 1 He kan tell. whether it. we'll rain UP ,
thing he has seen to-day except a hay 1 morrow or not ;be hears yare.complainta
stack. lie walked up to that with an in- 1 with a tear in his eye, .he -blows up the
trepidity and recklessness th at was aston- I servants at yure• siiggestion,• ante stands
ishing.And it would Ilill any one with
. around teddy with a shirt collaras taigas
admiration to see how he preserved his broken china. . . ..
self-possession in the presence of a barley A man may. be .a good. Supream Court
sack. This dare-devil bravery will he the Judge, add at the same time-be a - misers
death of this horse some day. lie is not IWe landlord.
particularly fast, but I think he. will get ; Most everybody.thinks be- kan keep a
through the Holy Land. He has only hotel (and they kart), lint this ackounts
one fault. His tail has been chopped utf, f or the great nuni b e i, of hotels that are
or else he has set dawn on it too hard kept on the same principle that Justiss
sometimes, or other, - and has to tight , ov-the Peace ofti.s iz kept in -it country
tlies with his heels. This is all very:well auring a six day's jury trial for Icillbog
—but when he tries to kick a tly off top sunibudv's yeHo dorg.
of his head with his hind foot, it is too A hotel wont keep itself and. keep the
much of a variety. Ile is going to get landlord too, and ever .kure the traveler
himself into trouble that way some day. t from the habit of profane sweakind.
He reaches around and bites my legs, too. I hav had this experiment tried on me
I do not care particularly about this—on- several times., and it always make En
ly I do not like to see a horse too tocia- s wear 'MISS.
ble.— The In accents Jbrood. i It iz too dften the kase that landlords
go into the biziness ov hash as minister
go into the professhun, trith the very boot
ov motives, but the pooreat kind °Vides
pects•
I don't know ovany'biziness more flat
ters= than tavern bizziness. There
don't seem to beauything to do but to
stand in front ov the register with f! r ri.
behind the ear aiit - kee that 'the guests
enter the timid., theu'yank a be -repeal:
or seven times, and - then tell John to she
the gentleman npto 976, ' d then take
four dollar/3 , 11nd fifty cents net ;looming
en
front the poor feller andt him went,
This seems to be the whole thing (awl
it is the whole thing)' in most kases.
Yn will diskoyer thefollowing deskrip
. _ .
A Waruing to Youeg
Charks Lamb tells us his sad experi
ence, as a warning to young men, in the
the following language:
" The waters have gone over me. But
out of the black depths, could f be heard.
I would cry out to all those %ho lime set
foot in the perilous flood. Could the
youth to whom tie fluor of tl:e tint
wine is delicious as the opening MAWS of
life or entertaining as some newly discov
ered paradise, look into My disolution and
be made to teel what a dreary thing it Is
when he can feel himself going down a
precipice with open eves cud passive will
to his destrUction, mid have nu human to ,
stop it, and feel it all the Nt ay emanating
from himself; to see the godliness emptied
out of him, and vet not he able to forget '
a time when it was otherwise; bear the
piteous spectacle of his own rain ; could
see my fevered eye, fevered with last
night's drinking, and feverishly looking
to to-night's repeating, fully; could he
feel the body of the death out of which
cry hourly to bu delivered ; it were enough
to mako him dash the sparkling beverage ,
to the earth, in all pride of its mantling
' temptation."
A Good One.
Two young ladies of New York were
spending the summer up in Pennsylvania.
During their visit they took quite a mu-o
ber of lung rides with the daughter of
their host about the country. On one
occasion as they had been traveling same
distance, and the day was warm, and a
trough of runing water stood invitingly
by the road-side—they concluded to give
their pony a drink. One of the city ladies
agreed to go out and arrange matters fur
this purpose; the others remaining in the
carriage and deeply engaged in conversa
tion, for some time paid no attention to
the proceedings of theircompan ion. When,
at last surmised by the long delay, they
turned to ascertain the cause. they dis
covered her 'trying to unbuckle the 'crup
per. In amazement, they inquired,
'What in the world are you doing that
for?' To which she miively replied ;
`Why, I'm unbuckling this strap to let
the horse's head down so it, can drink r
Socrates and the Widower.
• A husband lost .a beautiful and beloved
wife. The loss tilled his mind with grief;
and, in his despair, he would hare slain
himself with his dagger, hod not his
friends prevented him. Disappointed,
but still furious, he dashed Ins head
against the wall, determined to seek death
in some way, so as to rejoin the beloved
one. It was with great difficulty that he
was appeased, and per:waded to consult
the sage Socrates, and seek advice and
consolation at his hands. lie did so, and
the philosopher's only answer was." Come
again in eight munths." At the end of
that time, he did nut conic fur—he had
married again
37 — A new census of Philadelphia is •
to be taken by the United States Marshal.:
The returns of the population do not tal
ly with the registry of the voters, and the
citizens are greatly dissatisfied. Consid
ering the population, they should be re
joiced that there are no more of them.
The repeaters of Mann, • Kemble and
Bunts should be employed to take the
census of Philadelphia. They would
bring the population up to any figure
that the Union League might require.—
This hint to increase the population of
Philadelphia should not be neglected.
IlarA Man coming home late one
night a little more than half seas over,
feeling thirsty, procured a glass of water.
and drank it. In doing so he swallowed
a small ball of silk thatlay iu the bottom
of the tumbler, the end catching in his
teeth. 'Feeling smoething in his mouth,
and not knowing what it was, he began
pulling at the and, and the little ball un
rolling, he soon had several feet in his
handS, and still no end apparently. Ter
rified, he shouted at the top of his voice,
'Wife! wife! I say wife, come here! I am
unraveling.
'A married gentleman, every time
ho met the father of his wife, complained
to him, of the ugly temper and disposi
tion of his daughter. At last, upon one
occasion, becoming weary of the grumb
lings of hisson-iu-law, the old gentleman
exclaimed: "You are right; she is an
impertinent jade, and if I hear any more
complaints of her I will disinherit her,"
!rho husband made no more. complaints.
medical studeitt says he has never
been able to discover the bone of conten
tion,,and, desires pa' know whether it is
not tho jalv-bOne.
imp Billings on:netels.;
shun, a mild one, ov about 9 hauls ont of
10 between the Atlantick and Pacifick
Oshuns ukrost the United ! States 41.
straight line :
Yuure mom is 13 feet 0 inches, by 9
Cent 7 inches, pandlelo,gramly,
It being court week (es usual) all the
good rooms are employ 4 by the lawyers
and judges.
Youre room is ol) the uttermost door.
The carpet is ingrain—ingrained with
the dust, erosene the and inkepot or for
ge n crash u ns.
There iz two pegs in the TAPIA to hitch
coats onto; one ov them broke oph and
the other pulled out and missing.
The bare has three legs and one back.
The glass to the buro swings on two
pivots which have lost their grip.
There iz one towel on the rack, thin,
brit wet. The rainwater in the pitcher
cum out ov the well.
Tlie•soup iz uz tuff to wear az a whet
stone.
The soap is scented with cinnamon He,
and variegated with spots.
There iz three chairs, cane sectors, mu
iz a rocker, and all three is busted.
There iz a match box empty.
There .is no curtain to the window, and
there don't to,b9 , any: yn kant see out,
and who k:in see iu?
The bell rope iz erim oph about six in
ches this side of the ceiling.
The bed iz a modern slat bottom. with
two mattresses, one cotton,
and one husk,
and both harder, and both az thick az a
sea biskit.
Ya en'er the bed side ways and ken
I feel every slat at once. as easy as yn could
I the ribs ofa grid iron.
The bed iz inhabited,
sleep some but roll over a- l go c ,
. deal.
For bryakfast you have a goo& and rhy
coact., to kohl to melt butter; fried pota
toes which resemble the chips that a two
m vii makes in its journey through
an oak log.
Bread soiled beef stake about as thick
az a blister plaster, and as tough az a
hound's ear.
Table covered with plates, a few scared
to death pickles on one ov them,, and 0
,'fly endorsed crackers on the other;
A pewterinktum castor with three bot
tles in it, one without any peperiu it, one
without any nnistard and one with two
. inches of drowned Wee, uud sum vinegar
in it. ' _
Servant gal, with hoops on' hangs
around ye earnestly, au& waits to know
if vu want another cup ov coffee,
Yu say No morn, I thank yuf and
push Leek yure. chair.
Vu havict cat cuuff to pay for pinking
vure teeth.
I am about as self consented as it will
do for a man to be and not cmek open,
but i never yet eonsaited that I could
keep a hotel ; I had rather be a highway
man than to be suns landlord I have vim•
ted with. .
There are hotels that are a joy upon
the earth, where a man pays biz bill as
cheerfully O. he did the person who mar
ried him; wham yu kan't find the land
lord unless yn hunt in the kitchen, wham
servants glide around like angels ov mer
cy; where the beds fit a man's back, like
the feathers on a goose, and • where the
vittles taste just az though yore wife - "of
yam mother fried - them.
These kind of hotele ought to tow be
bat nu wheels and travel aronnethe
country ; they, are just as pluall ov reel
comforts at a 'thanksgiving padding!' but
alas ! yes, alas! they alb as an - plenty as
double-yolked eggs.
:::Er,„ Confab between inquiring strang
er and steamboat pilot: .
"Thalia Black mountains r
"Yea, air, highest mountains about
Lake George."
"Any story or legend connected with
that mountain ?"
-' "Lots ()rem. : Two lover went up that
mountain once anti never. came back
again."
"indeed, why, what became et theme
"Vent - down-the other side."