• — c: , .• •:•';
_ .
;4
.7 rill . -,., . •
• •
2. -
'•• . •
• - . . . ffr'
• • '
, , !
, •
,
; •
• 4 <:.
y.
jt
•51 , ,
rt _ - 7 • 1;!.:
-4144
aK t,
:ft, • t ,
r
• •
• • • j4‘.
4." •
!oNS :44 7 .
'
• •
12-r.
1 :4i ''C4ll2:f4tl'
• 4.• ' •:•
•?,;
• - A Z‘
31.- • •;f
g
.tF
, . „1 •4 • • "
. •
rte:
T (
' L . • .
. •
• . t
A. J. GE EtRITSON, Proprietor.}
ORIGI. (AL.
7J/CXX.aMiI/MIVITTiIir.
Lydia Cbeever's heart did incline
When she had lived years eighty-nine,
To say that Satan will be bound
In chains till a thousand years roll round
The Bible saith, " The• old Serpent will
Be bound in fetters, and kept still
A thousand years ;" then is come
The time when he is loosed to run.
He has not yet been bound at all,
Since the Creation, and the Fall
Of Adam, from his state of peace
Into a gulf of wretchedness.
But he has had full liberty
TO tempt the" humap faintly ;
And has deceived the nations so,
That all are sunk in sin and woe.
We read 41-God's own Book of some
Who will in ages, yet to come,
Build houses and their vineyards plant,
And eat the fruit—which others can't.
Their labors shall not be in vain ;
But reap the fruit of all their pain ;
These people—they shall long enjoy
The things that did their hands employ.
They are the blessed of the Lord,
Who will enjoy this rich reward.
But such a state has not been found,
Nor will it come till Satan's bound.
And when the thousand years shall end,
Satan will from his pit ascend,
And gather Gog, and Magog; for
There then will be a dreadful war:
Upon the earth they are to go,
And compass camp, and city, too ;
Then God will send Gre, and destroy
The army Satan did employ.
'Tis in this world these things shall be,
(Not in a ion!? eternity.)
It is then more than a thousand years
Before this earth shall disappear.
SCANDAL.
'Now. let It work. Mischief thou art afoot.
Tate what courNo thou wilt."
The substance orlhe following is no fib:
t ion. In a neighboring village, whose in
habitants/like the_good.people of Athens,
were tnuCh given to " either tell or hear
some newLthing," lived Squire P., a face
tious, good natured sort of a body, whose
jokes are even yet a matter Of village re
cord, and have been re-told through vari
ous editions, rt.... 'Luc Uuttr
.
decimo.
Aunt Lizzy was Deacon Snipe's wife's
sister—a maiden lady of about fifty—she
welit, to all the meetings—kept a regular
account of every birth, ath and mar
riatm, with their dates—doctored all the
babies, and knew every yard in the nei!,h
borhood—showed all the young married
women bow to make soap, and when they
had bad luck, made every child in the
house sit cross-legged until the luck
changed. In tadt, she was a kind of vil
lage factotumr-s`rnt her time in going
from house to houSe, grinding out a grist
scandal to each, as occasion required, hut
always concluded wilh "the way of the
transgressor is hard ;" " - poor Mrs. A. or
B. (as the case was) I pity her from the
bottom of my heart," or some such very
soothing reflection.
Aunt Lizzy was always very fond of
asking strangers and others, without re
gard
to time or plade," the state of their
minds ; how they enjoyed their minds,"
the. These questions were generally fid.
lowed by a string of scandal, which was
calculated to destroy the peace and happi
ness of some of her best neighbors and
friends; but she, like other narrators of
this kind, considered such ib intellectual
murder as either establishing in her own
way a fair reputation, or as the only mode
of entertaining the vidage, and thereby
rendering her society agreeable.
One warm summer's afternoon, as the
Squire was sitting • near his office" door,
smoking his pipe, Aunt Lizzy was pais
ing.hy with great, speed, ruminating on
the news of the day, when the Squire
bro't her suddenly to, as the sailors say,
by "what's your rry, Aunt Lizzy?
walk in." , •-, •
The old lady, Who neVer wanted a sec
ond invitation, , went inw the office and
the : following dialogue coinmenced:
as Well, Squire P., .1 haVe been thinking
this forenoon what a useful nfan you
might lie . ; if yea'a on ly lia.ieofF Your light
conversation, as the good book says, and
become a -Seriott'S twin, you might be an
ornament to both church andstate' as our
Mitnitter says." ,
" Why„ as to that, Aunt Lizzy, a cheer
ful--:countenance I consider as the best in
dex of a grateful, heart, and you: know
what I,he Bible says - on that subject—
When ye fast be not as the hypocrites
of a sad tountehaude; but "annoint thy
head'and face; (Aunt; Lizzy be
taati) feel for her pdeket'handerclilet; fir
she Wag 'a taker.of *,sttuff,) that ; thou ,ap
pear not unto men to fast?"
'what
1
there Squ--
irez hat's just 'what
1 told you--see how you bavetbe seripter
at your tongue's end; what, a nieftd man
you niighu he in par. - thureb,-ltiou'cl poly
be a- doer as well as -a bearer of the wora.";
"Ae to that, AMIE Lissy, I don't Bee'
that your 'professors' as you call them,
are a Whit.better than lam in private. I
respect a sincere profession as much as
any man ; but I know enough of one of
your church, whom you think a great deal
of, to know that she is no better than she
should her
At thette inuendoes Annt Lizzy's little
eyes began in twinkle; she sat down be
side the Squirk, in order to speak in a low
er tone--spread her handkerchiefover her
lap, and began to tap the cover of her
snuff box in true style, and all things be
ing in readiness for a regular siege of
"scandal= magnatum," she commenced
fire—
" Not, Squire, I want to know what
you mean by one of our church ? I know
who you mean, the trollope ; I didn't like*
so many curls about her head when she
told her experience."
The squire finding curiosity was putting
his boots on, had no occasion to ndd spurs
to the he'els, for the old lady had one in
her head lhat was worth two of them.—
Accordingly he had no peace until he con
sented to explain what he meant by the
expresSion " in private"—this was a dear
word with Aunt Lizzy.
"Now, Aunt Lizzy, will you take a Bi
ble oath that you will never communicate
what I am about to tell you to a living
being, and that you will keep it while you
live as a most inviolable secret ?"
" Yes, Squire, I declare I won't never
tell nobody nothing about as I breathe
the breath of life; and Pit take a Bible
oath on it ; there, sari in as I live, Squire,
before you or any other magister in the
country."
"Well, then, ou know when I -went
up to Boston a year ago."
"Yes, yes, Squire, and I know who
went with you too—Susey B. and Dolly
T. and her sister Prudence."
"Never mind who vi''ent, with me, aunt
Lizzy ; there was a whole .la`2'ist passen
gers—but, but"—
\
"None of your buts, Squire—out with
it—if folks will act so—a trollop"
"But, aunt Lizzy, Val afraid you'll
bring me into a serape"—
" told you ,over and over again,
that nobody never shall know nothing
about it, and your wile khows I ain't lea
ky"—
"My wife! I wouldn't have her know
what. I was going to say for the worid—
wltS--, aunt lozzy, if she should happen to
knUW it"—
'• Well, don't be'afeard, Squire, once fur
all I°ll take my oath that no living critinr
shun . , never so long as I live, know a lisp
on't."
Viro)l, Our+, -le you must , know it, I
slept with oti. of tlte.likafl
church members nearly hat ifie AV a y nijr"
Aunt Lizzy drew in a long breath, shut
up her snuff box and put it in her pocket,
muttering to herself—
" The likeliest of our church members !
I thought it was-Susey 8., likeliest—this
comes of being flatterid a trollope.—
Well, one thing I know, he way of the
transgressor is hard ;' but I hope you'll
never tell nobody on't, Squire; tor sartin
as the world, if rich a thing should be
known, our church would be scattered
.abroad like sheep without a shepherd."
lu a few moments aunt Lizzy took her
departtire, giving the Squire another cau
tion and a sly wink, as she said good by ;
let me alone for a secret.
It was not many days before Squire P.
received a polite note from Parson G. re
questing him to attend a meeting oof the
church, and many of the parish, at the
South Conference room, in order to set
tle some difficulties with one of the church
members, who, in order to clear up her
character, requested Squire P. to be pre
sent.'
The parson, who was a very worthy
man, knew the frailty of some of the weak
sisters, as aunt Lizzy called them, and as
be was N particular friend of Squire P.'s
requested him in his note to say nothing
of it to his wife: But the Squire took the
hint, and telling his wife that there wai a
Parish meeting,Tequested her to be ready
by 2 O'clock, and be would call for her.
Accordingly the,bour of meeting came,
the whole villag - „e flocked to the room,
which could not e ;tall' of them. All
eyes were : alterti4ely on the Squire and
Susey B. IMrs. P. stared and Susey look
ed. as though she . had been crying a fort
night.
The Parson, with s'fiened tone, and in
as delicate a mannerls possible, stated the
'story about Susey. W, which he observed
was in everybody's mouth, and which he
did not; himself believe a word of—and
Squire P. being called on the stand as a
witness; after painting in lively colors the
evils of slander, with which their village
bad been infected, :Ind particularly the
church, called on aunt Lizzy in presence
of the meeting; and before the church, to
come out arid make acknowledgment for
violating .a Bible Oath!
Annt Lizzy's apology was that she told
pl:46en Snipe's wits on't—and she took
an oaiti that she wouldn't tell nobody else
Deacon; 'Snipe's wife had, it appears,
sworn- Rogirs Toothaeher's sister never
to tell nobody on't—and so it Went thro'
the whole church; - and thence throughthe
•
The Spare then - adknowledged befOre
the whole meeting; that,..he bad, as be told
aent I#474:#frlitith:,trtilitttehmemiier ,
wair 'BOOM, tad that .110
MONTROSE, PA., TVESDAY, NOV. 12, 1867.
believed her to be one of the likeliest of
their• members, inasmuch as she never
would hear or retail slander.
411 eyes were now alternately on Susey
B. and Squire P.'s wife. Aunt Lizzy en
joyed a sort of diabolical triump, which
the Squire no sooner perceived than he
finished his sentence byNieclaring that the
church member to whom be alluded was
his nun lawful wife P'
Aunt Lizzy drew in her head under a
huge bonnet, as a turtle does under his
shell, and marched away into one corner
of the room like a dog that has baen
kill
ing sheep.
The Squire, as usual, burst out into a
fit of laughter, from which his wife, Susey
B. and even the Parson, could not refrain
from joining. Parson G. afterwards ae
knowledged that Squire P. had given a
I death blow to scandal in the s village,
which all his preaching ,could not have
dune..
Mrs. Lincoln Again.
The N. Y. correspondent of the Boston
Post tells the iblinwing, :
"When Lord Lyon; represented Eng- .
land at the Court of the Republic, his
wife had kwaiting maid who took the
fancy of a certain lady in the White
House. By the promise of preferment
and increased wages, this maid was in
duced to transfer her services from Lady
Lyons to another lady whose name had
the same initial. She thought, poor thing,
that she would have nothing to do but
exhibit herself about the White House;
but this delusion was very speedily dis
pelled ;, for it was only a few days when
she was set to making drawers out of the
linen sheets of the establishMent. This
wounded her feelings so much that she
soon "gave notice" to her em'ployer, anti
when she spoke of her sorrows to her
friends, she said that the extraordinary
length of the drawers she was employed
on left no doubt in her mind as to the
person who was to have the comfort of
wearing them.
- "'Mrs. Clarke' made several trips to
New-York in the war times, and made
some extensive purchases each time she
came. On one occasion the leading pro
prietor of a lading jewelry and furnishing
establishment on Broadway, received (so --
the story goes) an order for a beantifel
chandelier for the White House. The
price of the chandelier was *500; but
somebody (as I was not present at the
time, I wilt not he positive about names)
suggested that the bill should be made
out for $1 000, and that the difference
should be made up in jewelry, but the
I gentleman to whom the proposition was
TPRficlblesbAcq.cciilled t.Q.entennittit.
to Washington.
" - On another occasion, a Broadway
dealer, well known throughout the coun
try, was favored with an order for some
sup,t fine sets of porc.lain and china ware
for the national establishment. The val
ue of the sets was *B'lo, but other pur
chases made at the same time brought
the bill up to *2 200. • The storekeeper
was requested to make the porcelain and
china ivare cover the whole amount of
the bill, and to oblige his customer, he
did so. The bill went to the Secretary
of the Interior, who said to himself:—
'Twenty-two hundred dollars is a very
Ihigh price for those sets ; I must look in
to it.' He did look into it by sending an
agent to a large furnishing house in Phil
adelphia, where the same kind of goods
were sold, and the agent went back, to
Washington with the l information that
the Philadelphia price of the article was
8800. The Secretary of the Interior then
wrote to the Broadway dealer to know
how he come tea charge *2 200 for goods
that were sold for $BOO in Philadelphia,
and the merchant wrote back that he
eharged only *BOO for them, and that the
extra 81 400 covered the purchases which
had not been specified."
ar A Paris correspondent enlivens his
-letter with the following anecdote:
"I heard an amusing anecdote the oth
er day, illustrative of French incompe
tence to master any foreign language. A
yountt married lady, wedded to a German
or a Dutchman, was making purchases in
the Chausee d'Am in. At Congth she de
sired the things purchased might be sent
to her address.
" And your name, ma'am?"
" Really, sir, I am not acquainted with
My name ; I was the PrinceskTrtUnouilie,
and I have married the Baton—Tenter—
Tenter—if you will call my,,,servant, who
is at the door, I think he knows."
far'Young man, pay attention. Don't.'
be a loafer, don't keep loafer's company;
don't hang about loafing places.' Better
work than sit around day atter day, or
stand about corners with your hands in
yoUr pockets. Better for your ,health—
. better for your prospects. Bustha 'about,
if you mean to have anything tolmstle
about fur. Many a poor physician has ob
'tained a real patient by riding after an
imaginary one.
~A. .q uire of blank , paper,
Lied with red,tape,. - carried . wider .a law !
yer's arm, -may procure hitn ; h is first case,
and :wake his fortune. -Such is the world
lbat_ bath .118 iven.. Quit
dreaming and notnpAnningAlmot•
and. Eniod your
The Fellow that Looks Like ffie.
In sad despair I wonder,
My, heart, is filled with woe,
When on my grief I ponder,
What to do, I do not know;
For cruel fate has on me frowned,
And the trouble seems.to be,
There's another fellow in this 'era town
That's just the image of me.
CHORUS-
Oh wouldn't I like to catch him,
Wherever he may be,
0, wouldn't I give him partic'lar fits,
That fellow that docks like me.
With a lady fair I started
.To the Central Park to go,
Bat was stopped in the street by a man
Who said, pay this bill that you owe.
In vain I said, I know you not,
He wouldn't let me free,
Till a crowd came round, I paid the bill
For the fellow that.looks like me.
The other day while walking,
Through a harrow street up town,
I was seized by a man in a rage,
Who said,l've caught'you,Mr.Brown,
Yon know my daughter you have
wronged,
Though this gal I never did see.
He beat me till I was black and blue
For the fellow that looks like me.
One evening I sat sparking
A girl as dear as life,
When a lady who had just dropped in,
Says, Brown, how is your wife?
In vain I said, I'm a single man,
Though married I wish to be;
They called me a swindler and kicked
me out
For the fellow that looks like we.
Unto a ball one night I went,
And was just enjoying the sport,
When a policeman grabbed, me by the
arm,
Saying, you're wanted down at Court.
Youkve escaped us twice, but this time
I'll take care you :lan% get free;
So 1 was arrested, dragged to jail,
Fur the fellow that looks like me.
I was tried next day, found guilty too,
Arid about to be taken down,
When another policeman then bro't in
The right criminal—Mr. Brown.
They set me free, and locked up him,
Oh ! he was a sight to see—
The ugliest wretch that ever I saw,
Was the fellow that looked like me.
vain 'gentleman of the Milesian
persuasion, wbo has achieved some little I ,
newspaper notoriety in this country, and !
the initials of whose last name, if put txt
gether, would spell Murphy, for some
reason or other and much to the disgust
of his brother Irishmen, changed. his time
hotiOred patronymic to the more highfa
lutin cognomen of St. Clair. Every one
knows how it hurts an Irishman's feelings
to see a hxother Irishman "go back on
the oulil sod," and it may be sure he got
many a sharp rap over the knuckles, as
the saying is, for the change of name.—
Some time during the war our hero was
stopping at the 31— House, as was al
so a dashing young Irish officer of our
army. They chanced to , be vis - -a-vis at ta
hie, and Major J—, who always goes
for a joke, whether at his own expense or
at some one else's, thought the opportn
nity was too good to be lost, so he sings
out to the waiter :
'Tat rick !" Pat came. "Bring me a
St. Clair," said the Major, in his matter
of-filet way.
"A which, stir?" says Pat.
"A St. Clair, I said ; don't you under
stand the American dialect ?"
Pat, sorely bothered, scratched his head
and replied : A
"Shure, Ameriky is a quare country,
and I niver heard shim things asked for
before, stir, at all." _
"Well," quotb our joker, with the air
of one about to impart useful knowledge,
"it is a potato I want ; we used to call
them 'Murphies' at, home, but I believe
the polite name for them in this country
is St. Clair."
The Major hit hard that, time at least,
for the owner of the "polite" name left
the table, amid the unrestrained roars of
the company, who understood and fully
appreciated the "joke," and I,believe this
was his last appearance on that stage.
VEIIY Dar JOKE.—In Easton the oth
er evening, just as a performance in the
public hall was about to end, two wags
put themselves in front:, of the . Aoor-Way
with . an utnbrella, and Waited ` for the out
coming crowd. It was: not raining, but
when the first persons of thC audience
reached the door and saw the warning
umbrella, scores of hands, Were thrust out,
wits. Were buttoned closely, and dresses
taken Op,'While quite aalturiber remained
in'th . e hall, reftunrig;t6'.Come' out on ac
count of the rain. The "Salt" was corn
. lete.
—Mr. Greeley offersconioltiop to the
Maryland,l4,, bi telliOstbern that
now :
_ 44 aye .to 99inpate bitter
tickets thim $l. th ey litia a 0490 - 0 , el .
ecting thezii.'
In one of the battles during the latter
part of the war, a soldier in one of the
Ohio regiments was taken prisoner. His
comrades, supposing him killed, so report
ed it to the family he had left behind him,
consisting of a wife and one child. The
woman remained single a year or two,
living from hand to mouth, but finally
went:to Toledo, where she accepted , a sit
uation as cook in a restaurant owned by
a mulatto. After a while they were mar
ried. The mulatto sold out his establish
ment at Toledo, wandered about from
place to place, and finally brought up in
this city, and procured a tenement in the
upper part of town. After running the
gauntlet of several of the Southern pris
ons, the soldier was finally exchanged,
and at the end of eighteen months after
his reported death went back to his old
home to find that his wife and child had
disappeared, bvt where she bad gone 'no
one could tell him. He at last came to
Lafayette and accepted a situation in a
cooper shop, he being a cooper by trade.
One day about
,two weeks ago .a little
boy came to the shop after shavings, and
the soldier at once recognized him as his
own. He asked the little one what his
name was, if his mother was living'and if
she was married. .Tte child gave his
name—the'same as his own—and said
his mother was married to a black man.
He told him to come back the next day
and he would have some nice shavings
and blocks ready for him.. The next day
the boy returned, and at the soldier's re
quest, conducted him to where his moth
er lived. The mulatto was not at home.
Upon seeing her soldier husband, the
woman, as a matter of course, fainted af
ter the most approved fashion and went
into hysterics. She soon recovered, how
ever, and after a few moments conversa
tion an understanding was arrived at be
tween them. Her last husband 'had but
two hundred dollars in money—what was
left of the proceeds of the gale of his es
tablishment in Toledo—which she pro
ceeded to secure, together with such lit
tle articles as she needed for her own
comfort and that of her child, and the
two, with their boy, left. the house and
the city together. The mulatto also left
the city thi next day and has not been
seen since.—Lafayette (Ind.) Journal.
cca
RomanCc in Nixed Circles.
Joking in School.
Mr. Moody of the Winthrop Gazette,
who has had some pedagcgical experi
ence, tells the following good joke of
himself:
We once had a pupil who would not
tJi'lltG4tity .. d. •
busily engagod with his slate. Accident
ally passing his desk, we discovered on
his slate a picture of somebody. We
cared nothing for the picture, but wishing
him to know we had seen it, said:
"George!" •
He looked up and bawled out :
"What ?"
"Were you looking in the glass when
you drew that ?"
"No," said he, "I was looking at you."
It is dangerous joking with clowns or
fools. Once we set one of the latter class
to work in our garden, and suspecting he
would "nurse the poe handle" as soon as
we were out of sight, we stole upon him
I unawares after half an hour. He stood
Fhb his right band poised over a large
mosquito that was drawing the foolish
blood from hie left arm. Stepping up be
hind him we gave him a sharp slap on
shoulder, and said briskly :
"Work away 1 Mosquitoes never bite
a fool."
The surprise hastened the fatal catast
rophe to poor skeeter ; as the fool raised
the trap to see the result, one eye looking
at the bloody blotch on his arm, and the
other askew at us, he said, with very
leisure emphasis :
"Ilan% you glad orn't ?"
Receipt for Fits.
Though no doctor, I have by me some
excellent prescriptions, and shall charge
you nothing for them ; you cannot grum
ble at the price. We are most of us sub
ject to fits ; I am visited with them my
self, and I dare say you are also. Now
then, for the prescriptions:
For a fit of passion, walk in the open
air; you may speak to the wind without
hurting any one, or , proclaim yourself to
b&a saqpleton.
For efit (if idleness, count the ticking;
of a clock. Do this for one hour, and you
will be glad to pull - off your coat the next
time and work like a horse.
For a fit of extravagance or folly go to
i the workhouse, or speak to the ragged
and wretched inmates of a jail, and you
will be convinced—
"Who maketh his bed, of briar and thorn,
Most be content to lie forlorn."
For a fit of ambition, go into a church
yard 'and read the, grave-stones. They
will tell you the ee ambition. The
group Will scion 'be your eharnher.bed; tbe
.earth.yony pillow, corruption yew; Wier,
Ontithe worm your mother and sister..
For . O 6t of repining, look abOut - for the
*dt,and,blind,,and visit<.tbp : bed , ridden
4d - afflioted an 4 deranged, Alla Ili
map you tudiainedOroomplaiiiiirsofixtur
lightest ittaititidati;
I V 0110 Alt. XXIV, „Nulop:bi-:464s
,Elias Howe,
The death of Elias Howe, Jr., ther'; in
ventor of sewing machines, is announci_d
as having occurred in Brooklyn, N. :K.,
a few days ago. The deceased has left
behind him aft invention which will , live
forever a monument to his genius, perse
verance, and industry. He was born in
Spencer, Mass., in 1819, of poor parents.
He received a , scanty education; and de
veloping a taste for machinery, learned.
the trade of machinst. He devoted his
attention early to the hivention of a -sew
ing machine, receiving but little encour
agement, as the idea of supplanting stitch.
lug with machinery was almost universal
ly scouted, being , classed with perpetual
motion vagaries. However, in 1848, his
genius triumphed and he received a pat
ent on his pet machine. After years spent
in litigation, growing out of infringements
on his patent, he finally succeeded in es
tablishing his rights, and found himself
the sole possessor of au invention which
not only benefitted thousands of the hu
man family, but likewise brought fabulous
wealth to his depleted treasury. During
the war he enlisted as a private in a Matt
sachusetts regiment,,and served his coun
try with credit and distinction. --The
soldier never had a better friend, nor the
army a better private ' soldier than the
millionare volunteer.
A NEUr—YOIIICER.—A . little girl who
had been visiting in the family of a neigh
bor, hearing them speak of her father be
ing a widower, on her return home a -
dressed him thus:
"Pa, Are you a widower V"
"Yes, my child. Don't you know your
mother's dead?"
"Why, yes, I knew mother was dead';
but, you always lord ma r you was a New-
Yorker."
Baron Platt once, when visiting a
penal institutioo x inspected the tread-mid
with the rest, and, being practically dis
posed, the learned judge trusted himself
on the treadmill, desiring the warder to
set it in motion. The machine was ac
cordingly adjusted, and his lordship be
gat' to lift his feet. In a few 'minutes,
however, he had had quite enough of it,
and called to be released ; but this was
not so easy.
"Please, my lord," aid the man, "you
can't get off. It's set for twenty minutes ;
that's the shortest time Usti: can make it
go."
So the Judge was in dnran' ce until hi's
"term" expired.
CHASE
_AND TUE PEESrDENCT. A
Fr • , - •• . 1 .
soon be inaugurated by the friends of
Chief Justice Chase to bring him promi•
neatly before the country as a Presidential
candidate. Leading Northern politicidns
have been in consultation with him for
several days past,vand it is intimated that
one of the prominent Republican papers
of New York city will soon hoist his
standard and squarely advocate his claims
against all other candidates.
An expert df the Treasury Department,
positively asserts that the alleged coun
terfeit bonds hre printed from the same
plate as the genuine, and the impression
was obtained in the Department by the
same means as was the hundred dollars
interest policy plate, some months ago.
The Counterfeit 33onds.
—A most extraordinary matrimonial
arrangement has lately been consum
mated in Chicago. The three bride
grooms are brotherS, and the happy
brides are sisters, and it was literally the
marilage of two entire families. It •was
an eConeinioal arrangement, thus wooing
and marrying at wholesale—a great saving
in lights, fuel and the expenses of the
wedding festivities was effected.
—A Radical spread eagle orator, who
recently addressed a meeting in New
York State, wanted wings to fly to every
village and hamlet in this broad lat,d,
there to tell the story of Andrtiw John
son's perfidy to die Republican party.
Ho wilted, however, rathersuddenly when
a naughty boy in the audience sang oat :
" Dry no, you old fool ; you'd be shot for
a goose before you flew a mile."
- _
—" What object do you see ?" asked a
surgeon of a patient who had recentlY 'un
dergone an operation to restore •his eye
sight. The young an hesitated few
moments, and then replied: "It, appears
like a, jackass, doctor, but I rather think
it's your shadow."
—TI/ 13
e New YOrk Cpmvercia . l ildvertikr
says ' • e result did not tarn half so much
on th question whether colored men
should vote in Ohio, as'whether we wonld,'
by military law, convert the Carolitap,
Georgia,, Lonsiana,.Alabaniy, Mississippi.
etc., int St.DornAngosr
• —A lawyer in Miltord; • iihoiti
Brief; received a • letter a few days •'tince,
evidently.directed ib an:honest Hibertdap
bend, to ‘, ! Scprire Brief; Lief, and Attorney
Milford; knee::
—The Atatemint that !Auld 11 . 10 h2su_
ii n4„b?
" iltd . .
trace with frOviotasis