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Each additional spare, at the - qr. ... .. .. - .... .6 ,
creilitstrenexcepktil otknownresposudbUity:
AN EX-BACHEL
Walter Haughton and I were bosom(
friends. When he marled a !mindful'
girl, to whom he had long been attached,'
I abut myself up sullenly n my-own room,
and refused to see the ace of man. My i
passions had been undisciplined from
- childhood. Even till I attained the age
of twenty-five I had- fits of ungovernable;
anger. - After . that time my pride came
.to the rescue, and theldl my temper`down.;
I loved Walter Haughtou as some men
love women--strongly, I ardently, death
lessly. -We were almost inseparable.—;.
Before him I never shouted the fiend with-.,
in me. His sunshiny fa Si invariably dis
persed
the clouds in my, breast. i
Never shall I forget the day he first
told me he loved Mary Vernon. Before
that I thought of her as a sweet, angelic
woman, but in that hon Illated her.
"What shall Ido ?" was the wild pass
ionate cry with' which I i.er . ilied.
."Do 1" saidffalter ;. ' why lie just the
same- loving and beloved friends---come
and sit by our fireside, come and live with
us. Mary knows how strongly I regard
_ you. She has .no jealons. feelings even
towards my bosom friend. Heaven, bless
her! she is a noble girl." l
None ran tell but thor
:with the same unhappy ti
- what feelings I heard WI
beloved. I could have s
I turned away sullenly a
off without speaking. 4
came, fraught with so tit
him. I would not go to l
afterwards, when I met'
with coldness. There
-that would not have ; rest
4
duct—he did not. I hav
hepitied me.
Well, time wain away
balm. I became an inm:
and soon,came to regardl
as one, They fitted me!
and I went and came as
by a daughter was born
'called her Alice, because
Ite name. . .
Little Alice Hatighton 1
ile, fairy 'think, but excel
j
It was a grief to Us:—yes
.me, that Mary Haughto
the date of the birth of
din disease, whose germ
showed themselves alms(
tened upon her. So slow'
her husband would not helieve her ill till
one day, when Alice was ithree years old, I
-went there, and found the house as "still
as death. He did not speak, but he grsp-,
ed my hand till it paineine ; And as I
i
looked in his face his palS
or alarmed me.
"She is going!" be rid, softly.,, "I
OWI lose her." -
" Impossible !" I replied ; " She was'
looking so healthy vester i day !"
..... " The bloom of the ffrave," he said,
-harshly, " the crimson of Bath ! Oh, how
can I bear it !" -
_ "You are needlessly alrmed," I said:
I knew not what to say,j but. "longed in
some manner to comfort im.
"No—no—no," said e. "I wish I
could think so. But las night—oh, -fear
!
-ful night! Yin' have n t seen what I
have seen—{the very lif blood streaming.
Oh, Heavenly Father, "port me in the
heavy hour !"
One week from that Iday the hearse
stood at his door. Frdin_ the
_moment
Mary . died I did not see my friend shed a
• tear.. His face was rigid, colorless—awful
in its calm. ' ,
His little-daughter w. 7 taken to his
mother's home, and afte a -while Walter:
gave up housekeeping, and went there too:
Once more he was all. Mine. Day after'
day I sat with him, readto him, nor could"'
I believe that brilliant -eomPlexion—that
fierce rapidity of movemnt, of, utterance,
presaged a fatal disease. But-so it proved
:
At the end of five sad ye . happy pears my
dearest friend died, leavi gme the guardi
an of his little daughter.
t
Alice was more lovely . than her - child:
hood had "promised. No strictly beanti
• ful, but charming, fascinating. She loved
me very much, and when lin ayear froth
herlather's death she left me for school,
• she wept on my neek,-refusing tO'be com
forted. I relapsed intoy old habits of
loneliness, and at the ag of twenty-nine,
thought myself a confin ed bachelor. I
furnished a.nottage, too k ' a spinster aunt
_
as honiekeeper, lavished l a little forttine
on my ftirriavare and surrpundings, had i
garden beautifully laid opt, and sat myself
: down to take comfort. I must not forget
-; to say here that I had m4yed some -miles
front the town in which !my friend Wal;
..,
ter died.
. Ted years from the y that Alice
-- Naughton left me for tic 1, I received ,a
letter from her, edged wi black. It was
1 mot the first letter my ' d had sent me,
thy no means- 7 but the fi st missive that
,here tidings of death. :Was addressed
/
to me as hor fatber's•d, t est friend. Her
,grandmother, she said, had recently died";
S her two aunts had left BuOtown ;she was
about leaving iehool—w ere , should she
go? I waiter guardian and had - a legal
right to advise with her. She longed •to
see—some fitmil;se face, etc., etc. The
• letter did not give any - .` I -knew
what my duty.was, for o his dying, bed
Welter had coidided hislaughter to my
awe.
it When she is grOant,"i he 'said, Other'
ingly,.feehly, " you willPrehably have a
unfe--a home: Should My mu ther die be
a father.to my little Alice. !\ 1 ..
- I looked around my eentiShlecettage- -
I dil not. want to Lave ID .. broken .
up. My pictures, myiquins, lily books, my,
articles of virtu were.all ~:ashy where I
wanted them to he. Tb 4 yam% girl of
eighteen would perhaps disarange all. my
plans. And then she- %mild be having
young companions,—inaleund female, as
Ekely as not. ' She wouwisit to .siog
wbest. I needed quiet ; die e would be her.
. ...
p . usno and practice. -Slut might be whim.
steal, ditieult to advise; slie might butigh
, . ty, nervous, ill - tempered, 1
" No."I said,. resolutely; :“ I win gna ,
her a home,elsewhere.. Sod' wrote a letter,
sealed, but did not send it Her . words;
in one artless line haunted me-- 1 ."I do so
long to see a familiar face that will remind
me .of thy dear home--my 1 dear. father . ood
mother: to H e s Tett - „“ .. ,
.. .
We Join OurselvOs to no Party that Does . not Carry the Flag and ,Keep Step - tol the Music" of the Whole U
"There is no use in being sucks savage,"
I said mentally, and then, I tossed the
letter into the fire, (it was January,) and
sent:for Aunt Mitty. She was - a spare
Person, with not the most pleasant' face in
the .world—but the .face is not ahrays an
index to the heart. •
R'S STORY.
• • " I think of having a young lady . here,
Airnt Mitty," I said. •, . !•-
"'Ler ! are you a • oing to 'get married?
and her knitting - needles fell- as if para.
lyzed. . if
"0, 1:10,. not the least intention,"', I re ,
plied ; " you need never ask that question.
I shall be a bachelor all my days, and yori
shallkeep house for me, Aunt
But you know I have- spoken .sometimes
of my little ward, Alice Haughton : she
has done going to school, and as she has
neither father nor mother, I must have her
here, l Isuppose." . •
' Indeed !" she said, us maiden', ladies
are apt to utter that word, us if it embodi
ed. an itnportaii!, question; and- resumed .
her knitting. .;• • • '
"Is there any room that will do?" I
asked ; "or shall I be obliged to furnish
another?"
" Well, if she's git property, she . ought
haVe a handsome room," said myaunt.
"I should take the • articles out .of the
front room and have it newly furnished."
" Very - well," said 1, " then I Will go
.With you,t,O-morrow and select the -firm ! .
time. , Sh will,l suppose, 'have her oivn
PiatieSAirto brought on hire, to-morrow.
Can you
; get ready in that tittle?"
- "Yes," was her brief reply, and
. her
tall form soon vanished through the door
way.
was called frOm.borne on important
business on the day of the expected arip•
and did no -return till late 41 the even
ing. I was cold, • cheerls, and Weary,
'and had almost forgotten that I Was to
meet anybody, when as I was taking off
my clOaks in the ball I heard a fOetstep,
and looking; round I beheld a vision for
whieh X was little prepared. DresSed in
black garments, a protuston of --darjoi s i r
falling to clustering curls from the temples
there stood Alice; her dark eyes, so like
her father's her White hands outstretched
to greetrae: •
" W hy ' Alice!" I exclaimed, forgetting
cold and fatigue, "can this be you so tall,
so . beautiful ?", - •
She blushed'rosy-red, smiled, returned
my salution, and led the way into the par
lor. Surely some magic had transformed
it. • I had always thought it cheerful, but
n0w,,.: with that sweet presence; . from
which some charm surely emanated, it
seemed dazzling. Perhaps my' fairy had
.let on p:trifle more of the gas; perhaps
'she bad caused the lamp to be replenished
could not tell—But it appeared to me
a new and refreshing place,.
• who are Cursed
mperament with
alter eulogise his
struck him for it.
-id walked rpidly
A, last the day
neh happiness - to
ithe wedding, and
him, I treated film
are few natures
bated - such con;
le since thought
and brought its
to of. his house,
him and his wife
pp . a nice room,
I hated. By and
to them. They
it was my favor-
She was a frig
ingly lovely.=
last even to
1 - drooped from
,lice. Some hid.
had never before
the surface; fas
ly she faded, that
I forgot all my trials: my heart , grew
light in a moment, I could not keep my
I. eves from •tha sparkling face of my ward.
There is no use •of trying Ao describe_ her
inimitable grace, her varying expressions
:every moment disclosing new charms
• —her delicacy of deportment, and at times
her gravity of demeanor • and theniFhtful
ways. "-Let-me return to that eveamg.;--
It is My oasis • in the de.,_sert oT darkmem
ories:., I never weary of dwelling Upon . it
I Weyer shall. •
At the table she presided, sayinglaugh-'.
ingly, that Aunt ?Amy had given up that
office to her. the old lady- bad 4- weak
arm,-,and however mtidh she might!, covet
the dignity of the office, she was . quite will
ing to dispense with its burdens.- She too
seemed as one fascinated, looking alter
zatelyst Alice and myself; laughing hear
tilv at her witty little speeches—growing
sail in the face when she adverted to her
loss which had taken. place six months be- .
fore—and followed her humor in allthings.
- "Shill'l read to you now, guardian ?"
joAtedAllice, prettily, after supper: ,
It vras a new phr se in my experience;
to sit idly-by the fire iu my dressin4-gown
;and slippers, listening to the musical
voice of a beautiful musical girl upon whose . lips
!every dry item of news grow into a pearl
,
as it drepped.
I Well, this was comfort—there was no
,denying it. Every day the sweet girl won
iupon me. She seemed perfection 'in all
she did and-Said. Her playing was ex
lquisite !; nordid she depend upon masters
;and practicqor her soul was the deposi
tory for beautiful 'gems - of melody, and
She dreir them _forth at will. How she ,
had retained her girlish simplicity, . the
Sweet modeity Of mien for which as a
'child she was remarkable, I never i , could
rbl. , Certahily Alice Houghton was un
. ike all Other' young ladies I had ever seen.
ad rather anathemtized the whole class
'—but Alice Ilaughton redeemed them
1 The.first time I 'was awakened Men my
dream of bliss was the occasion of 4 visit
Made to Alice byy - a I
in young and dashing
man, a gentleman exterior; and
thought , one who entertained decided pref
erences for' my fair, ward; I can never de
?cribe the burning-, maddeningjealouiy
that tortured me.as he stood - in the brill
iant music-room by the-side ofAlice, turn
ing over her music and casting /Winking
glances at her. Then my heart wined up
to the fact that I was in 10-ie with [Alice.
lthe staid bachelor of nine-andthirty, l-
oved with all the intensity of my passion
* nature, the fair young woman of eigh
teen 1 How warmly the blood shot through
my veins as I realized this fact, and saw
the devotion of this' handsome . Young
atranger. Did she, love him? If; so I
would sntMlate him on the. spoil rile 1
(must have noticed my appearance, for as 1
he turned round to say, "That is a Sweet
Song, sir," .he give-me a prolong:0.01=mo.
I turned away, and strode to the mirror.
1 My tiPpearanee before this had always
been . a subject -of indifference: I had is
the itegining 'of the evening . called this fel
low, mentally, fop and ape, for nothing
hut . beeanse he 'was dressed with good
taste. Now, as I looked, I grew ashamed
,Of myself. My collar was negligent, my
neektierdisarranged,milairiderermee
aweless ti.nd untidy. - scan my_ fee
elves ' , there I . Was triumphant. I felt
Oat there 4 superiority - in my face
()Vet other men tr.knew I_ was 'what
was sty a ine.looking
. fellow-4hat lay
tiountestanoe was of thwunelletted . oast
i: lso,lo Porkor to Inare. l 4intY Offestunt.
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V0L..17.
11ONTROSE, PA., THURSDAY,DECEAthER 27, 1860.
T_
MyjmindWas made up.. I drew my figure
to Its height, straightened"eollar and tie,
and went to ,the piano;
_plan ted myself on
the other side of Alice.
yotr not play something for me P. -
Tasked. , •
She loOked up as if she noticed the pc
euliar emphasis in my tone.. I fancied
her eyes lingered on my face. I thought
she blushed.
"Certainly I will, with the greatest
pleasure," she
.replied. ‘,i.What. would
you like r
"That!". I said, placing a sheet of mu• sic before her.
. She lonked at it a moment, ran over
prelnde and air, and sang itk with great
sweetness.. It was a love song--rno mat
ter what: The. man opposite kept his
keen eyes upon mei and every, time I look+
ed up our glances met. Mine said,'"Y.oit
shall not have her." His said," Who The
dickens are you ?" • . ,
" Who is. that' man ?" I said when ho
had gone. ••-
• . ,
' "Only a friend, guardy," she replied,
"I knew hini at Milton:" •
"Only a friend!" Why should she use
that precaution in speaking of him? Did
She suspect the turn my thoughts had- ta,
ken ? I hoped not. I would have guard;
ed the secret until I- teas cerfain that her
heart was free. My pride was as strong,
ay, and as fierce as my love. •
" He is very good looking,".l said care.
lessly:
" I,have seen -handsomer meri," she re-
•
How I studied her - after that ! Every
word, .look, motion,. was noticed by Me.
She caught me at it sometimes, and blush
ed. She Seemed I .thought to - show
decidad preference for me over all the
geuttemen.who visited her—or else unwit
ting displayed - a vehemence in 'my
love. .I.think she - must have 'suspected
at that early period how I. felt towardS
her.
Let me hurry on with my narrotive.--,
Each day I became more hopelessly math
ered, Sho became shy and sensitive and
gave nte by her manner occasional
glimp
ses of hope. I surprised her sometimes
singing over softly. the songs. I loved. I
taw her read the books I praised.
_times I looked into them and found such
passages muted as made my heart beat
more rapidly.
Not long after my symptoms 'had be
come thus violent,' received a letter froth
&brother abroad whopkl had not seen for
tweive.Uars mid then . he was a boy. I
remembere t l Ins extreme beauty and my
soul grefi. ui ik. Lepartaiw g _ova- lam a
horrible vultui.e flapped its wings over my
bead. He'wr,ote to me saying that he had
become a prosperoui . merchant ; that he
-was coming home to see me. It was a
warm, glowing, impulsive letter, but od6
alit max, seem, I crumpled it in my hand .
and-threw it in the fire.
It was a singular coincidence,' but the
day he emne,as in the case of Alice, I was
called away. When I returned I-caught
the .sound' of a manly voice. Hare entered
and received a welcome in my heart.
went into the parlor; my brother sprang
up, his handsome face all aglow, to gritet.
'me, and then returned to his seat by the
side of Alice. He nrnst have noticed my
coldness, my constrained' demeanor, my
abstraction, from which I was called by
Alice's musical voice. . • , -
" Why guardy,
said she, why did you
not tell me you had a younger brother ?"
"I thought you would maet him soon
and,the pleasure would be the greater," I
answered bittesly. • "
It'Siung me
-to madness to behold him
sitting so near her; to-hear them talk.to
getier like old and confidential friends.
All manner of Demon thoughts crowded
to my brain. I felt that my, countenance
must -be awful and kept myself busily
turned away. Still -they' chatted and they
laughed—oh, how beautiful they did look
together! That evening we were all to
gether in the music room; Alice at the pi
ano; I..walkina, filled with horrid tho'ts,
Fred, my.brotte leaning over Alice.—
How free she seemed with liim! Much
too free it seemed for my
: jealous eyes.—
What busines had she to sing my songs
for him ? Oh,irthey had seen me look
at them! To be sure she always prefaced
her music with, "This is guardy's favor
ite," or " I often sing this for your broth
er," but what sort of balm was tbkt to my
heart ?" At last 'I said, " Good night,"lib:
raptly. 'Alice came to me all annety,and
asked me timidly if I was not well. I co'd
harthowled, "No, hypocrite!" but said,
with as calm a manner as I could assume,
that I had• business to attend to.
For a =molt I noticed that she looked
perplexed, unhappy--but I was still blind
with jealousy.
- "Look here Harry;dont go to bed so
early again; said my brother the next day,
it deprives me; of good society, both that
of Yourself pd your charming ward. She
did not stay tea minutes after you had left
You should not leave young :folks alone,
especially when one of them is as shy as a
kitten." . • - •
"Did Alice leave you then ?" I asked,
suddenly, relieved of a great weight. •
"Of course she did, what modeaklady
- could sit up with a stranger alone? I'm
surprised at you for leaving us. By the
way; do you play the venerable papa to,
this sweet creature ? •
+i - Venerable I" I exclaimed' taping to
him fiercely; "what do you mean, calling
me 'venerable.". - •
"Mercy on me I " exclaimed Fred. "I
seemy elder brother must betreatcd with
more respect 'but do tell me if she is heart
free.
"Go and ask her," rgrowled.
"I wonder yorrhave not fallen in love
with het yourself, Harry," continued my
brother. She would make a capital wife,
but as you have not, I 'suppose my chance
is next best. What do you say, had not
I better trY.?—because if you think there
is no hope, therei a little lady at home of
whom I think a good deal, and lam sure
she would have me." •
0, why in heaven's name,did I' not then
and there disclose to My brother the great
secret of in br at - It 'Would have saved
me torture 'end endurance. But no,
would dot . eevil one was in We nttd
held absolute swat over nwhenities.
Witlmarifyda eanilvot float tar to
me about it,T have more important things
to think about," I replied;
Ile laugheitat my-reply, gleefully, and
I thought insnltingly,as he said, "Perhaps
I may take you at your word, at any rate
its worth the trial." We parted.
Every day and evening I now left them
toge,ther. I neticed that Aliee grew more
and more quiet, her cheeks became pale.
Thatis one'of the symptoms, I thought
to mysolf.- TOe wooing progresses finely,
but by Heaven if he%wins her he'd better
never have been born. • --
There ices little. or no change In Fred's
appearance; 7ie seemed quite devoted to
her, walked with her, rode with her, they
sang and played together. Stijl Alice
seemed restless.. She avoided my eye,and
appeared only.quite-at hothe ingia•society
One day I waa.sitting in the imrlor, 'quite
in the shadow; brooding over,my gloomy
fancies, as usual. I heard footstepS and
voices.. My first inipnlsie was to retire,
but on .a secoad thought, I determined' to
stay. Thep paused .upon the threshold.
Madnesslos arm was . around her waist.
"But why. not you tell him?" . 1 heard
her say.
"No--no,"? he replied, and my brother's
usually cbeerftil voice was sad. " - No—he
would never forgive me. I cannot. Harry
would be the last one . to Whom I should
tell such secrets."
•
"Ay my. splendid fellow ! said I, s 6 yen
have cunningly divined."
"Let me tell.him then; said Alice,softly
Though he.lta4 altered of late'
,and seems
strange to me,iyet I think lat. would gin
his consent if I asked him."
"Doyou; My beauty, thought I with
set. teeth,—yei and so I would, but what
would happen;afteawards, I wOnder ?"
" Well darling, ril think about it, said
Fred. - Perhaps after all it will be more
manly in me to 'speak to him. I think I.
will do it to-nrorrow.
' The next day Fred asked me to take a
walk witlibiut,to the cliff. We went off
together.. i -
"I have something to say to you Harry,-
said he.
My . beartleipedi my blood was. n ire.
I.pretended not, to' understand him.
'Are your nerves steady, can you stand
on the edge the bank like this ?" I
risked. •
He pausedcrlooked at me earnestjy for'
a moment andlwdut forward to try. His
foot was on the edge, nearer than mime ;
his brain might have reeled—mine didnot
—until 1 jostled against him in stooping.
Good heavens ) he was over 'I spranc ,
back as if shot) Not a thousand worlds
have teiripted me near the edge of
that accursed hill. There was water at
the bottotit. :Strange that I heard no
sound save the rapid heating 'of my own
heart. - Was bellying, struggling? I did
not 'dare look but Inwried home, locked
myself in my room. • • •
Said the denton—if they find him . they
will think it an accident. No one saw u 5
go out together—but oh, the self-abase ,
ment, the tortured conscience!
. The day, the week passed. I forgot to .,
say that Allic i e on that very 'day had
gone to spendja week with a school-mate.
When she retarned, she. asked after Fred.
I said, watching hersteadily, " He is gone.
Are you sorry IT
"Why, yes; Ithinkbe might have told
me, and said' good bye," she replied, rath
er petulantly. ! - '
" If he had staid longer we might hav
had a wedding," I said, with a harsh an
almost convulsive laugh..
She looked at me earnestly for a 'mo
ment, as she asked, innocently, " Why,
who would haie been married?" • •
" You'and he, perhaps," I said. •
• She turned as pale as ashes; her lips
quivered.' She .cried out passionately,
You are cruel !" and almost ran from the
room.
What was I l toinfer -from this? The
glance, the tone bad struck me as being,
to say the least; very peCuliar. Good Hea
vens! could it have been that all the, time ,
she loved me?! My brain throbbed;
guilty soul • swayed between tumults
'of delight and terror. '•lf so dared),
I marry. her in my blood-guiltness ? Yes,
I dared do anydeed now •, I dared' and I
would.. I pass! over much time. Suffice
'it to say that the fate of my brother re
mained" a mystery. I had nerved myself
to go, as nearly as I conldcalculate,to•the
precise spot n•lere he fell, but I saw no
clue that gave hny evidence of his previ
ous'identity. lie was gone. . The dark
Waters had received him. Sometime they
might give, up their dead. •
Alice became my wife, but horror bung.
around me. I could take pleaSuie in noth
ing. - I surrounded , her with luxuries and
called her My queen.. She' was an idol;
I worshiped her.. One day she said, "Why-,
do we not hearlfront Fred?" -
• Myteart stohd still;but I made 'time
evasive reply.
"Did he ever ask 'your . advice about
anything in particular?" she inquired with
a smile.— -1 '
• a
• "No," I. replied with;tnioldfiereeness.
"'Why
s dri you ask such a nation?"q
I ,ohollarry if she, said reprovingly,
" you carried lleut .:prejudiee Car —l.
know she must !have beta a lovely - -girl by
his description.' • •
Before I •vrat hot; tniw 'I grew icy.
"By his descr i ption! .. lovely girt! what'
do you mean V-! I asked - in wild.' astonish
ment. - •
"Why, you knew he laved ono of the.
Edgeworths, didn't you? said- the
father once did'lon an injastice an4 . :you
never forgaiebun. Ho • being dependant
on you in some 'way for assistance; did not
like to marry her without your consent,
and yet he .had ;the'. Strangest - fear - about
it Ine as* as. brother her
words ged! to shrieks. • • •
I fallen apparently, dead at her feet!
I made awful revelations in'
..the sickness
that followed. - .When'l came to myself I
thought l; saw my brother cot:aim:ay be
, sideme. IbesOught the vision to leave
me. Ettunan .itones answered—it was
'Fred,,kitid-generous, forgiving, who bent.
above his guilt brother. ,Whm. he told
me heenlked. been sheltered by a friend-
.ly tre e. whose swaying; branches caught
and held him, Yhow, After; his itrangth
cameihe hid dropped lad' eat ashore,
and to.realliirnulik MA bed .rotuta.
ed,4VAlttol4o-UIWn bit - 6*j **pi
loud.; Oh, the bliss of seatgliin there!
Whenll was well, they brought, a- babe
into my chamber—my Aid-born
All, is forgiven. My brother and his
wife riSide near us. W e i are happy. It
was the evil passion oflay youth, roused
again 1n manhood, but now
,subdued for
ever. - I
m IIITEIRIIS,IWARD
,VISITS OLD ADS . LDTOOLN: -
I hip ? no politics . Nary a one. rnrnot
in the Wellness. .Ifl , w I spose I should
holler iersiffi.usly in the streets at nite
and gc) l 4 home to Betsey Jane - ! smelling of
coal tie and gin in the ni;ornin.' I should
go to'the poles arty. llshould stay there
all they!, I should see to lit that my nabars
was thkr. I should git l rrriages to take
the kriiiples, the infirm d the - Indignant
thar. I should be on guard egiu frauds
and siei. , rshonld be o i the look out for
the infamus Use of the e lemy; got up jest;
be.t eleeSima for perlltitial.effeck. `When
all wasloier and my ealydate was elect
ed, I 'Mould move hevin and arth--so•to
speakitMtil I got orifice, whiehif I didn't
get a orifice, I should turn round & abooze
the Adininistratioir with all mi mite and
ninine.t But rm not in the hilliness. rm
in a fai more respectful isineas nor what
pollertics is. I wosbld't give two - cents to
be a Congresser. The wnss insult I ever re
ceived lwas when sertin citizens of Bald
insvilld asked me . to null for the Legisla
tor: Sez I, "My.friends, dostest think
'hat I'4 stoop - tothat - th?" They turn
eda as White as a sheet. I spoke In my
most ()Whitest tones, they knowd I
.wasn't Ito. be trifled witt . They slunked
out of Kite to onet: [ ' .
Thetie4 hevin no politics, .I made bold
to visit; Old Abe at his fininstid in Spring.
field. - I found the old feller in his parlor,
surrounded by a perfech swarm of orifice
seekers' Knowin he had been captitig of
a fiat biiat on the roaringississippy 1 tho't
I'd address hint in' sailor lingo, so sez II
"Old Abe ahoy! Let out yer main-snls,
reefluttn the forecastle k throw yer jib
poop overboard ! Shiv4r in,y timbers my
hearty 1" • [N. B. This is ginuine mariner
langwage. I know beeawz I've seen sail
or playS acted out .by Them New York
theater fellers.] Old . ..kbe lookt up quite
cross Si sez, "Send. in yer petition by dz
by. - l'4tant possibly looat it • now.' i
In
deed 1 l 'EA aan't. It's onpo sible,'Sir 1" -
1 "31 1 Linkin,. who d you spectj air-?"
i,
1
sed I. I I •
"A orifice seeker to be sure?" sod he:
"W2lll, Sir," sed I, "you's never more
mistaken in your life. You----13-eire.l- .got a
-Orifice I'd take under no circumstance.-
1 I'm A. Ward. Wax, Jiggers is my profesh
an. I'at.the father of Twins, and they
look like me--,both of thilm. I cum to pay
a 'friendly visit to the President eleck of
the iri4ted. States. If so be . wants to see
Ime say !so=-if not, say so tt• = Int orflikei - .
jug han4le."
I " 310 'Ward, sit down: 1 sun glad t 6
see yoxi, Sir." ' I
" Repose in Abraham's bussiim I" sod
one of the orifice seekerst his r idee bein to
git orf a, oak at my exprise. , -
" Wall," Sez I, "ef all -Ou fellers repose
in that there buzztim there'll be mity poor
nnssin for sum of you!" L whereupon .Old .
Abe buttoned. bie/weik t clear np and
blush like a maiding of sweet 16'., Jest
at this Putt of 'the conversation another
swarm Of orifice seekersLarrove and cumr-
.
pilin inip / the*parler. Sum wanted post
orificem; sum wanted ctllectorship, sum
wentedlfurrin missions, and all wanted
iupthini I thought Old Abe Would go
'crazy. He hadn't more than hid time to
shake hands with 'em before another tre
menjus crowd cum porein onto his prem.
isis. liiihouse and door-yard was now per-
Teckly d,verflowed with Orifice seekers, all
clameruss for a immejiti interview with
Old Ab. ; One man from Ohio who had
about seven inches of corn whiskey into
him, mihtook me- for 0 - d Abe and ad- I
drest me as " The'Pra,harie Flower of the
West." I Thinks I you want a- offis 'putty
bad: *other, with a gold-headed cane
And la red no - se, told Old 1 Abe' lie was "a
se,ckind tWashington & tike Pride of the
Boundless West 1" .4
' Sez I,1" Square, you wouldn't take a
small .
post ofils if you coUld get would
you ,
~ .
r -
Smil e , "a-patrit is abet , them things,
sir 1 .7 1
I
"Thetc's a putty big crop of patrits this
season, ain't there, Squire ?” sez I, when
another crowd of offis seekers pored in.
The lion i se, barn & woodshed' was now all
full; and' when another crowd earn I told.
'cm not por go away for want of room as
the hogpelt n-as still empty . One patrit
from a simall town in Alikhygan went 'up
on the Op of the house, got into the chin
ney and slid down •into the -pirler, where
Old Abd was endoverin lb keep the hun- '
gry pacli of offis seekers from chawin him
up . alive; without benefit i pfclergy. ' The'
mmit he( readied the fire lace he 4umpt
up, brusht the soot out . 4 his eyes, and
yelled : f'.Dont make any; pintment at . the
Spunkville post offis till ou've read my
'papers. I All the respectful men in our
town is rgners to that there dockytuent I"
"Good God l" cried' old Abe, "they
cum - upon me from . the c tize--down the
'ehimneyi, and from th
~ bowels of the
yearth !' He hadn't niore'n, got them
"words out of his delikit month before two
fat offis*ekers from WisConsin, in endow
evict to crawl atween his legs On the par.
puss of applyin for the tollgateship at Mil-
wawly, upset the Presidant deck and. he
would hive-gone sprandin "into the Are
place if A hadn't Caught him inthese arms.
But I hadn't more'n stood him up
before another man cum tirteihin down . e
chimueythis bead strikin.ine, vilently ' , 4 - 1
the inards and prostratia my. vol np ‘ . ,us
form .onto the floor. "liri "lily linkinVshou
fruqui
tid the infatooated beingi rs is
signed b' every clergyman' in ' town,
and likeViist' i the schoolmaster
Sez I; f‘yern 0,--
brushin'
your pal
you don'
make - nr.
tur. Hoc,
sea Them
I, sit
"!
Them's ‘
"But
tow 41
be miry'
I NO. 5
. .
o .Virtock," zed I, holdintlM ,;,,' toasted
man by the cast collar, ‘!**fillc . ti s krlt's is Its
own .reirard. • Look' at me! • did
look at me, and guided beCiajw- glace . —
" The'fact is," I continued, 100 ik - round
upon the hungry eroWil . . ,_ " there : Sauna
ly affia . foreveryile bung " . round
durio this campsite. I' wish th e , was.
"wish there was Stain ,M4shinit to be
filled on vans lonely Wands where - itppr
doilies MO incessantly, and if I was •in
Old Abe's place I'd send every= Mother's
Son of you.to them.• What air yea here
r .
for ?" 1 continnered, warminnp ler
able;“.can't Yon-sire Abe a tuinit' peace ?-
Don't you see he's worried mast deth I
Go home, you miserable men,' go:- ; ;me d
till the si r Go to peddlin tin nr. ,
to. thoppinwtxxl,,go, to bill. ~ s ;, -- -tut! .
sassengers-,—black boots—tit • ; • ,- -rkship
on some respMtablemanure :-,,. ;' ...:, round
as original Swiss ' Bell Binge • : ;; ,- . ~ ,
‘oighial and only' Campbell Minas . Is—go
to lecturin at 50 dollars a ni :, "inbark'
in the peanut biziness- write for, . e Zeck
er—sato off yon lege and_go - ro ; , ; - Orin
concerts, with techin appeals to Charit
able public printed on your hen.. ' an
ything for a honest fiirm, but !dorOt come
t
1 round here drivinOld . Abe °rani; . y your
ontrajus cuttings up.!
_Go home. - Stand
. not upon the " order of your :goin, but go •
,to enet! • If in five nihnts from. t i ,-, time,"
sez I, pullin out. my new sixten , ' 'dollar
huntin cased watch and brandish' , It be
fore their eyes, "Ef in eve - 'Mini s from
this time a single sole'of you re , ; , *ns on
these here premises,
my
goont to ',. y cage
near by arid. let •my Boy Co , •tractor
loose! dif he - #ets. swung :3,i 4 0 - you'll
think" Old Solfenno. has cum gin and no
• mistake!" . -
• Yon ought to have seen them S
Mr. Fail.
_They run orf as tho Fog
self was arter them with a red'
pronged pitchfork. In : five :mil
premises was clear.
"How kin I erer repay yon, Mr
for your kindnessr sed Old Abe
"cin and shakin m© warmly by thu
" How kin I ever repay you, Sir :7
"By givin the whole conntrY.
sound Administration.- 121 - Pyrei
on the trvbbled waters, Nort 111111
By pursooin a patriotic, Arii).
course, and then if Ate -
cede,let 'em &soil
"How 'boutiny
said Abe.
up with
men is devoid ,o f poi
a,
got darned pnuciple!Theykiii
to eater tii,Theitiblie. 'They bib
the pnbliii wants, North k South.
men, Sir, iehonest men. Ef yoi
their-literary ability, look at th
ers;anifsee small Ef Yon
CAinit as is a Cabinit fill it, up wi
•
men, but don't call on me. Th
Wax figger profeshuns =isn't be
ted to go down while there's a,
blood in - these rains ! A. Linkiii,
you well! EfPowers s or Waleutt
pick out a model for a beautiful
scarcely think they'd scalp_ you
you do the fair thing- by ygtir
you'll make as putty a angel as an,
or any other man ! ,A Linkin,. nee
cuts which Nature has put into you
usly and firmly, and all will , be We
Linkiu, adoo
_ _
He shook me cordyally by the
we exchimmed picters, so we cou
upon each others' liniments when'
from one another—be at the bell: ,
ship of State, and I at the helium
show bizniss—admittancsi Only
cents. Amman; '
The Knickerbocker for 1
4
COstEsTCEMEN-1 - T or Tire. 57 TH :- • LUNE.
Fuosr the first 'of . January, 18 1, The
Knickerbocker Magazine will be p lished
by J. R. Gihnore. Very rnanyof e em
inent writers who in by-gone y have
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with the commencement of the n w vol.
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its future issues will contain the oicest
productions of those poets, • philo phers,
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and men of erudition, who hrive ri!d lus
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With the January number, the Maga
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improvements. in its page, paper, qrpe,and
general appearance will be effected as the
advance and progress of the age demand.
111 oar first issue will commence the
üblication of a new Novel, by Richard
' 1 Esq.; author of "Sit. Ledger,"
‘Romance of Student Life," ete:,•entitled
REVS:TATUM Or WALL Sruscr.' • • .
In this work purely Ainpfican in its
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The same nuillier will contain the com-
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John. • " . Francis, M. D., LL. D., author
of "Ail New York," etc. ;
SsMMS OP Htntonons Parma, by
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i tuthar of "Meister Earl's zi .h-Book,"
"Translator of Heine,"-eta •
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Cora . g the Cotter's SaturdayNight,'
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?roa
deductions made to Clubs, AS
Will tie seen by Our•Proopeetus.• -
LB; ent.nettivs Beekinaltitreetl.l"n
Daring th . e ingq•ux* months the Sfer.
alLeweil Iwo rioted
11. eve yimof eau%
JOB otALL KM*,
DOMIL LT TUN 01111C3 03P-TEIC
3 Zing CO C73EIL ALT,
=FATLY AND_PROXPTLY. -
AND ♦T B LITZ AND LNT LITZ" TNICS/4
Tux office of the 'Montrose DerOotrat
ramtly been=p n leil with . ant r e de=
4 6 =14, on, le 10• 1 111= o=oool6'
itsuibitte, Posters, Programmes, and
ether kinds Of wait bt Wanes; &se sexclothig to ardour.
< Business, Wedding, and Bail Ca=
Tidies. Kt, pristelgrith Destaine aOldespatell.
Justices' snaOmstebles' Iflanits, Notes
Dools; sod 01l Was lasoko. • • • or prtetal to mkt.
1101rJob yorlr. sad Maki.** , PAM OS Ca 41,‘!1.
For •the Mon ose Democrat.
Who shall have the' Honor and
Profits of a Man's Mental Labor
I Animas Myszrz To Pasoan ov
Ts= arm HoNose-4, Domes J. , O.
&aro, im the inventor of •the ter? beat
Instruments and Artificial Teeth, .ever
used or made by the profession, and have
the said instruments for my own twis t and
of me the whole profession must be de
pendent for improved Instruments and
Artificial Teeth, of my own invention, to
have best instruments and make best teeth
as they have during thirty years past, and
mpg in time to mime, as al have made ve
ry great improvements on my continuous
gam teeth, and the continuous gum teeth
are ten times better and More economical
than any other artificial teeth, yet my in
struments will remain forever as penis-
Dent fixtures in the profession. Patents
are, and will be secured by me for both
the said instruments and teeth, the proof
of which I hold in my possession, and that
there are not many Dental Surgeons in
the United States or Europe who can per.
form the most indispensable preparative
operation for - plugging and preserving
the natural teeth; and some Professors in
Dental Colleges, and many *era, never
can aceuir' e the Art of performing said
operation, and then they preterid•that
something else ,vrM do as well, at they
have taught for the want of skill; yet
their operations never were andilever cep,
be efficient without that best 4pall improve,.
Meets in Dental Surgery, of- which I am
_able to convince every- Physiologist, as - I
did the President of the Baltimore Dental
College. When all protessiona shall do
their day to, and the people obtain cor--
rectinformation, through some scientific
medimn,(for which they cheerfully would ,
pay to receive through newspapers,) ten
years thereafter no artificial teeth • would '
be,required, as the people would save their
natural teeth and the amount and. - more
than they pay for artificial teeth. <What
a grand eight and gretit honor that, would '
be to see a nation of people of sou nd teeth
and pure mouths, as the sight of .a tooth
less nation and disease shows a • lamenta
ble depravity and ,neglect somewhere. I
have proof in my possession to confirm •
the above facts, and therefore all persons
may believe the truth and save their nat
ural teeth, or.believe a lie ana be—very
foolish. Persons of knowledge did come
to me from• Europe to obtain instructions
and instriiments, when some of them by
disguise were sent estray, as, many of my
patients were thus sent estray, and those
-who sent them estray should be -sent to—; .
where they will go soon, yet the knaves
have not, did not, and can not deceive me,
as I am- previousli informed of their inten
tions and conduct. I hereby publish twos
of many corroborating testimonies, from
gentlemen ofhonor, knowledge, talent,
and skill, and as diplomas to said gentle
.
men " Illirringiacquired a knowledge of,
and praeted Dental. Surgery with Doc
tor J. S. Smith, and having full informa
tion of all kinds of Instruments, artflcial
teeth, and practice of the whole profession,
I therefore knowingly state that there are
no.lnstrumente or Artificial teeth invented,
or systems, principles, and practice of
Curative Dental Surgery equal to the
above said Doctor J. S. Smith s. Thomae
Jefferson Wheaton, M. D., and D. DT, 8.,
of Broome County, N.Y., December Ist,
1860. • Doctor C. M. Williams; D. D. S.,
of Susquehanna county, -Pa., December
st, 1860. '
•« nwer,
tali his
ot ten
, *ts the
Ward,
advan.
band.
th I
a just
to se-
Show
hnin't
w how
'what
Show
doubt
r P post
want a
1s show
moral
r6p of
I wish
wus to
ow, I
bat of
.entry
of as,
the tat=
judisb
t 11 • A.
and—
a gaze
r away
of the
of the
1 . fifteen
AIID.
AGENTS WANTED.
A . BOOK THAT EVERT FARMER, 112CHAMC,
AND BUSINESS JAN WASSFD
Just 'Published : The Township. and Locisi
Jaws of the State of Pennsylvania compd.
ed fr,um thi Acts of Assembly by Wen. T.
Baines; Esq. and Published by Ed s ward
F. James e West Chester, Pa. • - • •
The work contains over 400 - pages of
closely . printed matter, and will be sold by
subscription. •
It teaches the duty of Justices of the
Peace, with forms for the transaction of
their business..
It teaches the duty-Of Constables with"
all the necessaryfoiros,'appertaining to the
office. - • .
'contains the duties of the Stipf..rvis'
of every County atni, Township in, the
fate.
It contains the duties of, Township
Auditors.
Ircontains the law relatiVe t' Dogs and
Sheep: . •
It 'Contains the duties of Assessors:
It contains the laws in relatiOn to Strap',
Mules and' Swine.
It contains the laws relative to Fences
and Fence ewers. ' , .
It contains the laws relative to game '
Hunting, Trout and Deer. •. -.
It contains , the Election Liss .
the necessary Forms. -- J.
It contains the Naturalisation Laws
with all the necessary Forum of Applic*-
.
tion. • '
It contains a large' number. of Legal
Forms, wbich arb used in the every day
transaction of business, such as Acknowl
edgements, Afildaytte, Articles at Agree
ments and Contracts, Partneishii,-.4.
prentias, Assignments, Attestations, Bills
of Exchange and 'Promissory' Rotes. Bills
of Sale, Bonds, Checks, Covenants, Deeds .
Deposition, - Due Bills and ProduceNota,
Landlord and Tenant, Leases, Letters-of
Attorney,Marliage, Mortgages, Receipts
and Releases. The weer is bound - in Law, •
sheep, and will be sold to subscribers at .'
$1,25 per copy,-paiable on delivery of the
work. The work has passed the - revhdosi
of many of the- best Lawyeri in the State'
and has received their unqualified 'ppm
bation, as a reliable band book of refer.
enai,upon which it treats: The whole is
arranged in Such a manner as to present a
plain, comcisd and explicit Statement of
the duties of all Township Officers, as may
be readily understood by any one. Snsq's
County will be thoroughly canvassed for
the work and tbe support of the citizens is
re luny solicited. _
• B. Qandlee General Agent for.
County.
P. S. Good canvassers are wanted in *II
parts'of this County'for the above work,
to whom a liberal compensation will be •
given. 'Applications which must• bounds.
at an early digo, inidresstd ajo above milk
teetive prOmpt attention. •