cA.. ;1, -- ,:.o(r.ritssTfi- ptirtill At the Well. She stood beside the ancient well, Like some enchanted water sprite; The iosy sunset round her fell. , • - Flushing her forth with glioWing light; No rustic was she, thmtgb bhe dipped - Her bucket in the fountain deep, Laughing to see bra* direct dripped The water from-the bending S'Vreep, If ever ingertroubled pool— As the old legends love to say— An angel stirred the, waters cool Within that Well at close of day , The snnset'e gold was not more bright' Than the rich trAsselkof her hair; Just where they rounded to the light, While•melting on her shoulders fair.- : • - Eyes laughing, and yet full of pride, - .And fuller still of love and hope ; And cheeks as delicately dyed . • As flowers. which in the moonlight opo • The lips half parted, and yet mute, The dazzling arm,-the slender form," Light perched-upon one slender foot—. All bathed in rev radiance warm: • • As if to greet her' own bright eyes, She bent rabove the Mossy curb ; I longed, yet feared hy some surprise, The beauteous vision to distirb. " Wilt give aThirsty traveler drink r She:we it, with a blush divine; Which blinded me that I did thifik . ' was Hebe standing on the lrink Of Helicon, and dipping wine In-goblets that like gold did shine. •SYSTEM. AND NO SYSTEiIf : OR, THE SECRET OF SUCCESS. 'How very neat your house. is; Mrs. Fields!' exclaimed a liVely young girl, as she threw aside her bonnet, and seated herself near the table where the lady .addre.ssel was sewing. .‘ Now we haven't but just finished breakfast, 'and .oar. house ts -all jn an uproart while here, .you arc with pot nicely, away in its place, and I._ have* doubt wi.l ilie more sew ing-before'slintier time th s an I shall accom plish in -two days. - . Mrs. Fields smiled and looked itrchly at the fair speaker," who seemed puzzled as she re: fleeted on the state of thingsmentiOned. Now do tell me what the secret is. Mrs. Fields,' she continued, earnest!v, and I will be stye to make a goOd use .of it: •: `Then you _think Awe 'is some mystety abut the matter!' asked the lady Mrs. Fields, good humoredly. 'Of course there is; if there was not; thins would - g6. - on - as smoothly with me as with von. I'm sure mother and I work all the time, and we can't do tiiiire • ' Shall I run the risk of offending you, Lucy, and tell'yeu where Lthink; all the difficulty • You will not offend hie by'anytitinz you can sax-, for lari sure I w'Aitt to be - set right,' was the unhezitatinz reph • You say your - family - has just .finished 'breakfast?' .resumed Mrs. Fields. • Before ou cane here, did you stop to wash the di:he_s, sweep and dust, and peiforrci the other :liouseho:dduiies . , declare I forgot all about it r exclaimed Lucy, coloring eicessivelr 'or rather I thought I could do all these thins rust a's veil ,urea I returned' • "It is now nine 'o'clock,' continued Iris. Field , glancing 'significantly at Limy, • and it is no more than reasonable to conclude that it worild take you another hour, perhaps more, to perform as they should be, the various du-' ties.l .have ntm d. It would then be quite time to set about, preparing dinne'r, as twelve o'clock in the country, is considered the best dinner. hour. Thus, according to my ideas, the best part of the morning is lost.' • I don't_ - quite understand it. set,'° replied the young 'for 'when I risoearly;l don't reem to accomplish any more; and as for , sewing I never think of such a thing so_early in the morning.' •. "*ein is as necessary in housework asin, l any other matter, my . dear Lucy. Let me mention some things I have seen. The other day I,called in at a neighbor's about tea time. The lady of the house yequested her daughter to make a fire and lay the table, which the lattir immediately proceeded to• do. I felt curious to know if the lady had a methodical way of dOing those things, and accordingly made bold to watch her movements. In the first place she proceeded to the shed in great haste aid came back with a, handful of shav- togs,llich she AlepoSited the stove; then she r eturned to 't he,sbed fur a few chips and twos4c6•a of wood. - 1 These were soon con Burned, and Fhe wa): obliged to retrace her steps and obtain another supply. After this she employe] herself five minutes in-looking for a misplaced broom tu sweep up the-shav ings she bad littered all the way from the shed to the store. Ju-t think, , four journeys to get enough materials to build a fiier - Mrs. Fields paused a moment, but the blu , hing girl made no reply, and she con- tinued: - - 'The young lady , then spread the cloth, bUt • discovering that it was ba,ilv stained, .went in - search of. ant:diet': This done, she returned to the closet twice for half a dozen plates, and as many cups and saucers. Ti.e knives were then. laid, .but - alittle exainina lion convinced her that' they looked decided ly the worse for use; so they Werel.gathered up and conveyed to the 'kitchen, !where a quarter of an Iran- was spent in performing a duty which should have been attended to immediately after dinner. ; So she proceeded, making; a separate journey for every article, until tired and heated she glanced at the, fire, and preceired while -attending to the knives, ete.,•she had forg,otten to reatenish it; and as a natural consequence, itliiad entirely gone out. Then the task of rebuilding aa,l hive related ha.l to Le, repeated .. When I left the ' house, I really pitied snryonog friend, who looked; and I -doubt not felt; more tired than 1 r•Lpahl after ; a : day's- work. , - '` You 'must:mean -rne,_Larn stun!' exclaim el :Lucy frankly, 'for I arn'always planged so - When I try to do anythitto: "'What is the reasint I wonder r , , , tbe , bead as weir tis Abe hatidr, inr dear. . Work by s3 - atetn, and, in fact, do eve rything systematically. Have a place for everything, and everything in its place. It is an old Maxim, -Vat a very good one: ‘l3ut just tell me bow you would have man ned ill my .place r •In regard ,to . .the fie, I r Should bare ,filled a hand . Wisbet, with Sharinga,hips and. witod at once then I should have-carried r the tit tle to the water-pstil and filled.jt ; Akita spar in; myself the-treable of 'planing back and forth' between the-sink anti stove four titoei., with a dipper fille'd With water, which drip- ped all the way; while at the same fime,,l could have watched•the &re' I never shall become a good .manager, and . there is no. use in trying; was the desponding reply. 'Do not feel discouraged, my. dear Lucy time works wonders, and if you really make ' the attempt' in earnest, I doubt not you will succeed. Lisa calculation; not only 4efleut upon the means which you use to bring skint a detiredsresult, but also anticipate that result a little;: see if it will prove, in all respects, 'a sufficientsrecompeuse for your labor. Compare the various circumstances and facts which tuence your determtnation. and he sure that the result gained will .proportionate. Do you understand me, my dead she added, ingly.. Perfectly,' replied Lucy, who appeared much interested. Please g 6 on' , ' I - recollect it case in point, which may, perhaps, better explain my meaning,' resumed the lady ; ' and I daily see so much confu sion disorder, and even unhappiness, occa sioned by mismanagement, want of head work, or a neglect of the small things in life, that I feel sure that it can do no harm to hear the story. ' A number of years since, I had for n neighbor a man named William Wood. 14 was well. informed, sensible, and apparently industrious; and some years previous to my arrival in that place, had' come in possession of a valuable farm. It was then in the beit of order, but now how changed ! Fenens were down; walls-in a decidedly unsafe con dition ;' stones . , both , large and small ,. lying around to dull the edge of the mower's scythe.; trees bearing. aloft their dead, scraggy brandies, as if remonstrating at the neglect; large crevices could be seen in the barn and sheds, through which the wind whistled -mournfully; while here and there a bOard clattered a midnight accompaniment. Un hinged doors were kept - partially in place by large sticks of wood- braced against them; while swine ran about the premises at will. The. house was in very much the same condition as the out buildings.- Broken panes of.glass, filled with old hats, bits of.eloth, etc; loose clapboards; a decayed roof, through which rain was sure Co find its way for want of a few .shinghs ; -and window blinds with broken fastening-, were a few of the outward characteristics. The yard in front was fil)eil with cart's; sleds, (it was in the summer re:i son remember,) old barrels, boards, a grind stone, two large hogsheads, a-pile of tumult -wood, and seEeral - farming implements. Ih fact to,reach the door on a dark night withodt accident was a work of -considerable inge nuity, Id a. 'Wool had a workshop and a work. shed, but apparently did not consider it. ne cessary to use either, as the dooryard was the most convenient - , and saved him many stept. ' Mr. Wood seemed to be always busy, when at home t 'but somehow accomplished little or nothing. It might be owing to the fact that the breakfast table was pushed 'against the house immediately after use, and with its contents,suffered to remain untouched, while she disposed of the morning by calling upon her neighbors ;. after which she began to pre pare for 1 dinner, at the same time hasti washing the dishes, acid exclaiming ' for 13 r rt y. part she didn't see where the time went t Not a Minute was wasted in again perfo - ing this necessary duty after the mid-day meal; for Mrs. Wood calculated that she could kill two birds with one stone;_ and that. was _to leave them until she prepared breakfast next morning; a way of gaining time which I do not exactly understand. ' She had no particular hear for dining; sometimes dinner was ready at half-past eleven, another time at . one, and again at two.. 'lt was an D i ll maidish notion said she, ',for peb ple to think that they must restrict themselves to certain hours.' As for- herself, she had rather wait. till she got hungry, thatt-to eat just because - the hands of the clock pointed - to a certain hour r `Mr',, Wood invariably spent Saturday afternoon and evening in washing and'rol ing; for!she considered it a pity to waste t h e first part of the - week, in the perfomtnce Of such trifling duties ; consequently, the mete. hers of the family caught many n.severe cold frOm pitting on damp linen the morning following. It was a source of great wonder to why they were always late to dwell; other people with larger families were miter in their places, but for a clue to the mystery, I refer yoy to the following conver.ation4- only one of many that frequently transpiro. ' I deciarls if it isn't nine o'clock !' exclaim ed Mrs.! Witod, one Sabbath morning as sbe eatered the kitchen: I mtiat have overslept myself, but I haven't done such a thing foi l a long tithe. - '0 yes. mother. , on have!' cried tr shrill. rbice of little, Tommy ;-• for Charley Bruce says he always goes to Sunday Schclol before we're up? , 'Be still, child,' says Mrs. Wood, rebuking ly. Charley Bruce is a bad boy, and ypu mustn't play With him. Now, girls,' contm ued Mrs. Wood, you wash the dishes while [ grind the coffee.' Wheti I-was at Aunt Sarah's she used to wash her dishes, grind her coffee, - and lay the fire the 'night before,' remarked the youngest daughter, as she reluctantly prepared to obey. I should think you would do so, mother; aunt -says it is much better. Yutir aunt is a fussY, - old maidish woman, and I Ors my_ ways are as good as hers; [at any rate I like them as well,' retorted the mother looking rather displeased. ' She nay teach her own girls what she pleases, but I flatter myse'f that I-can attend to mine, wTr out any assistance.' 1 like to stay there,' pursued the daughter; and • I think she must manage better than we do, or she couldn't find so much time for sewing. You know - she does all ber oven, while we put ours. out. 'lt of her extra management, or it thing of the kind. .She has got the kntc of slighting' her, work, and I hamlet, that's an the difference:. replied Mrs:. Wood, ra er 100mb:illy; for, if the truth must hi told, She felt rather jealous of the' praise which her daughter was bestowing so latiihly on her sister in-law. But Make hastel,' she added; 'talking won't get breakfast, nor prepare ue for church.' -•, _ • After much trouble with ° the, fire, which refused te - barn on the account Ohba cation, of wet wOod,. *Mai bed agfferedilly Contact with a shower of , rain, And a grea t deal.ofrunnipg abouf. and scolding on he . part of " Mrs. Wood,. a cold and unpalatable breakfast was despatched, .and preparations for church were then commence'. !• WE ARE ALL EQUAL BEFORE GOD AM) THE CONSTITUTION."--.James Bitchauan. gentrost, - ,Susque4aitita Counta, Vrnint, tlimban ,111 Mother, mother,!' cried Anna, from the top of the attar% • What new V was the rejoinder of the pa rent, aashe left oir, for a moment, the task of aearchin - g fof a pair of hose in a crowded trunk, who'e contents were mixed together in inextricable confusion,—an undertaking v. hich seemed as hcipeleas as looking for n needle in a haymow. - 'I can't find my muslin sleeves,' replied Ana*. 0 dear P exclaiMed Mrs. Wool: They're in thewashtub, I do believe; it rained so last night I couldn't dry them. Can't you wear the other pair,?' she added, after a tnotnent's pause; I suppose I could, if they were to be found; but you have.so many pleas for things, that I never know where to look for them,' was ;he true, but rather unfilial rejoinder of the daughter; as she set about looking for the lost article. "Mother, you promised to sew batons on my waist !" shrieked little Tommy, at the top of his .voice. "I knew you wouldn't when you said to." , "I forgot it, child, or rather I haven't had time. Come here and let me pin it,' she re plier'. "But you went a visiting four afternoons last Week, for I counted," pursued the'child, as he slowly placed himself in a positiOn to receive the pinning. "Here are your gloves," said Mrs. Wood" to Anna. "1 lonnd them at the bottom of this -trunk, and how they got there, is' more than I know." "I don't want them now," she replied, "for I have borrowed a pair of Charlotte ; but I do wish I knew where the mate to this odd glove is," "What a trial I do have !" exclaimed the mother. fretfully. "Charlei, what are you doing I" she added, as a tremendous crash called her attention to the closet. "Don't be maimed, mother," said Charles, a young,man of nineteen. ' "I've only smash ed four 'plates- in attempting to find the clothes blush." . "Another set of china broken I what could possess you, Charles ; to mount .up tbere'to g. t a brush." - 'Because I found it there last Sunday," was the agologetical reply. "I was less un fortunate then, h.rwever, if it was in a curious kind of a place." "It's my turn now to enter complaint," re marked Mr. Wood. "I believe I'm minus a dickey." -. "Sure enough ! but never mind, husband ; I've-got twenty 'minutes to fix one in before the second bell ringa," was the hurried reply of the anxious looking wife, as she hastened awry. It is unnecessary to relate how she, did it ; but Mr. Wood,by exercising patience, at !evil received the desired "dickey." 'At length, Tommy, Anna, Charlotte and Charles were declared ready, and preceded by Mr. ,Wood.and the tired mother, who had but a few minutes to make her own toilet, they entered 'the church just ns the sermon was being commenced, attracting the atten• tion of every eye by the lateness of their ar rival. This was no new thing, however, and the Wood family did not heed it. _ 'As I said before, Mr. Wood was not an indolent than, but somehow or other,he never brought mach to pass. Sometimes he would do a little of one thing, and then a little of another; now ploughing a little and then sawing a small quantity of wood. He was always ri month longer in cutting his hay than his neighbor, and the reason was, that instead of applying himself diligently to one thing, he would work very hard, two days in mowing, and afterwards lay by three or four to recruit his strength for a second etTort,—a . proceeding, which generally gave his hay the benefit of several showers, and obliged him to store it in a damp state. He was "'- ways commencing jobs, but never finished them, at least, in their proper season. Somc. times he would abruptly leave Ith important piece of work, and spend the rest of the day in fishing or hunting. - • , `He wasp kind, accommodating neighbor, but. all knew his failings. It was a _ want .of system, my dear Lucy, a lack of attention to the details in life, and an utter neglect of that meth.xlical arrangement of things which is absolUtely necessary to the success of any Undertaking, great or small. The continued ill Success of Mr. Wood was entirely owing to this serious fault, and to this Cause Slso can be imputed all the anxiety, trouble, and especially the `Sunday morning trials' of his ,wife. Life is made up of small things: in fact, our happinesA, or utiliappinesg, detittids Mort upon them than_ we are aware of. Cultivate, then, my dear Lucy, habits of order and reg ularity. Attend to duty first and pleasure afterwards. Resolve that you will he systematic young lady; and take the word of one Who lies experienced great good from the advice she gives, that by Such a course you will gain the respect and estem of friends, be far happier, and cannot fail to benefit those who come within . sour influence.' • Ass, ACCIDE , N TAL SHOT .— Ron. Benjamin Franklin Wade and Hon. Joshua heti! Old - dings, used to be constant competitors itt the benighted Ashtabula, their present placC of residence. Tn the early part of, his practice, Wade was defending a man again-t an ac-' tion for and after having condoled a very effective speech to Ilia jury, sat awt- Wardly leaning backward, his feet on the counsel table, and facing Giddings, who was attempting, to be eloquentsin behalf of his Client. Old Gid, as be was familiarly c all e d, bad a:little _smattering of, Shakopeare, and Low determined to bring that great author to his aid. "Gentlemen of the jury," said, he With much aril( r : " lie that deals My parse, steals trash : But he thai . iobs me of my good name— —Ahem!" At this point, to his great dis comfiture, Shskspeam deserted him. Ile re peated _ ' But he that roba me of my good natoo•-" But the Dard.Of Avon, as if unwilling to aid either 'him or his client, proved treacherous. Again be repeated : * But be that robs mode* , good name- 0 Another pause. " Takes that I never had," whispered 7tYstdei as if prompting him, and so'distittetlyas to be- heard by all in the tom. Amidst the laughter and his 'own conftision,Giddings brqught, his Speer.% to sucit'a lame in'tptitent •CclnefusiO,'that his client'recovered and a quaitei cents to, his lost character. - or Notuers' adebbing. 1W ONE WIIO WAS "THAR." The county of. , "away up in the mountains," boasts of one of the best judges in California. tn On the bench he is fir, ‘de tided anß prompt, n 4 caring a snap' of his finger for either the applause of friends or the mutterings of enemies. ne is perhaps the most devoted man to. the "law” - in all creation, and has his head so full of what he terms 'judicial talk," that ho noi unfrequent ly finds himself making learned charges and passing sentence outside of the court room. • On a recent occasion, the judge was called on to exercise the `'power and authority in him vested,' in the case of a Young couple, who desired to have their hearts united in the holy bands of wedlock. Of course he consented to perform the pleasant duty, and on the appointed evening, was promptly on hand, at the house at which the affair was to come uff. The room was Crowded by the beauty and fashion of town; and done looked more digni fied or happy than the judge himself, who vies dressed within'un inch of his life.- It is customary on occasions of the kind referred to,for the good folks of the mountain towns.to pass around the wino quite freely, and to their evirlasling credit, we will ,adtl, they consider it no harm for one to manifest -his interest in ft joyous event,by getting 'live ly.' The judge is an ardent admirer of-the fair sex, baking in the course 'of his life led the third one td the altar: To use his own language be. Wit great admirer of weddings, and that he should become a little mellow amid the &minus scene of the evening, was not to be wondered at by those who knew him intimately.' lie bad the weakness of_all good judger. Ile would take his "toddy." The • wine hid passed' round and round and round. °The music had ceased. The time for making Joseph Bower= and Nancy Iltirkins 'One' had arrived. Every heart throbbed with.the most delightful emotions. The young getillernen desired to know how Joe would stand it,and the young ladies were anxious to see ItoW Nancy would stand the awful shock. Others, again, who had closely observed the turn of affairs during the ever ning, fired their attention on the judge, to see how he would come out of thmerape. At length the trying moment was an nounced. The judge arse very cautiously from The chair which he had occupied in one corner of the room,: mid casttnglits eves over the company, he recognized the sheriff of the cmnty, who was presen't as an invited guest. Tire judge had imbibed just enough to make him 'forget: the nature of his business. ' lle was full of ,his 'judicial talk,' and required nothing but the presence of the sheriff to start him. Looking sternly at the officer, he sl olted : "Mr. Sheriff, open the Court, and call order !" A general twitter followed this command, b the midst .of which the sheriff took the 'court' gently by the arm, and led him to his seat in the cornet, at the same timeinforming the august personage of his mistake: Everything now bid fair for a pleasant and sudden termination of the atfai rointil another annoyance, which was nothing less than the I sbsence of the bridegroom, was observed. It turned out that he had just stepped across the street to join his- friends in a parting drink, but bef ! rre his return some cold blood ed. wag had whispered into the ear of our fog gy judge the cause of "delay in proceeding:'' Instant's the chair in the corner moved, and in that direction all eyes were fixed. "Mr. Sheriff,' slowly drawled the judge, "bring Joe into the court on a supenar"—the judge had, his own way of pronouncing the word—then addressing the bride, who stood in the foreground,and hung her head: in con fusion, he adde I : "I spore you're the pla'striff. Well, don't take on. Innocence arid virtue will be pro- tented in this court." -This was the saddest blander of ail.—The judge was again made to see his mistake, and would have been considerably set back . bad it not been for a cortecti_ve in tl e shape of 'forty drops of the critter,' which he iinme diatelrapplied. In a few moment: all was ready in right down earnest, - the bridegroom bad arrived, full of joy. The bride in 'gorgeous array' stood at his side. The company pressed for ward.- The excitement was "intense. The judge never looked so dignified in his life- He evidently felt every inch of a judge.- • B-B o-ow-ers," commenced the man of law in that distressing style of spc6e,h i . with winch he was invariatily trorililed alien under Lite intluenCe:of liquor. 0.1,10 e B 15- owerP,- altand up. 11;1%1'4-Ton anything to a-s say. W-w-why sentence—" "St , p, i!op, stop,Judge,' shouted the sheriff - from the back part of the, room.—" You are going•to marry the man, not to bang him !" _Thejudge drew a lour. breath and blink ed rapidly; bilt stood the - ground well. Re covering biinself he •proceeded; "J-J-oe 11-B-Isowers, do y : yrdu t•take N-N Nancy llarkins for y-y-your wife, so help y-y-yott God?" This was a tolerable eon and' Joe as rented. "N-Naney Harkins, it now remains fur the e-c-riourt to—" 'Here ' the sheriff again iiiterrtipted ttte judge, reminding him of his real business. Miss N-Naticv," - resumeil the Judge, afer being set right, "d-do you take J Jae B-Bow ers for a . husband,. tto the best of your knowledge and b belief, or d.do you not ?" "You Get !" softly answered the light hearted Nancy. The Judge then took the hinds a thO happ,,v couple and joining diem; wound up the Yusiness as follows : "ft now r-r-remains for this h-h-here Court to pronOnnee you, Joe Bowers add Nanyt [jerkins, man and wife: and" (here the judge patfsed to wiped the perspiration from his face,)—m•m may G-God'O-Or-mity h-have m -mercy on y-your relea. e cal iitar 'The elimpanyririarea. . Joe' and. Nancy weakened.- The sheriff' 'Whi'Aaken with a leaving. The. , let Ifiriself, put is a glass of apple jack. Taken ArY [mail and large, it- - was.the - greatest wedding ever wit nessed. . • • . = 'l''b9 twig efieottra .waE to rAise• a mob would he; when 'they are assembled , -and at work, to let off a keg of powder under them. rniitg, cSltembrr 2, ink. English firammar and Par . sing.. W cot the following fragnientfrom an ex change:. Take this sentence. "A judicious teacher is governed by circumstances, in the admin istration of discipline to children." It is a , grammatical sentence, but when submitted to the paring process, it is not good sense any more than brass buttons are good cents. Cir cumstances, ailminiatnition, discipline, and children, are in the objective , case*so far, good; for circumstances are often objection able; the administration (if we may believe most of the Baton papers) is decided lyso j dis cipline is objected to by Young America; and children are certainly the most:objectionable affairs I know of. ("Oh! you horrid old bitch!" says the widOw.) According to the rule that prepositions govern the objective case, all these long, words are governed by the short eat ones in the language. The meaning of the sentence is, that circumstances govern the teacher, and the teacher governs the children: thus making circumstances occupy the lead ing (Ely the bye,l wonder if they came safely through the late commercial cri sis; there is always so mash owing to cif cumstances that they must have :Iheavy out wending debt.) But grammar will have it that the teacher being In tho u noronaitive case; only governs the verb, and a passive verb at that; (more of a sinecure than most enjo', I suspect) while the circumstances 'and the cbildren are govefned alike by the prepos itions—a most preposterous idea ; an idea, in fact, which was never taught to shoot prop erly. The administration and discipline are not under the control of the teacher, as -of right they shonl,The, but they too ate got• erned by these diminutive objects, with as absolute sway as the little corporal 'governs France. Now with such ridiculous doctrine conred vs a daily task, bow, I ask, can chil dren ever be induced to acknowledge the au thority.of the teacher? Again : Adjectives belong to nouns which they describe. 'Do they!' Dick Turpin was a highway robber; did the highway belong to the robber ! Duties are collected by revenue officers; does the revenue belong to the offi cers! A boy fishes; does the fish agree with the boy! I should think they would be in the'objective ca3e,.. A man falls; sdoes falling agree with the man ! "Sometimes," says the Widow, "especially when he falls in love." am inclined to jdin issue -with you there; I. would as lief fall into hot water, and nine times in ten it amounts to the same thing. " I thought you told me once you loved wo , men." :30 do; but loving, and falling in love, in the dim( acceptation of the term, are as dissimilar its , swimming and learning to swim, In the ondscase, you flounder about, frightened and half choked, with all sorts of rainbow hues before your eyes, 'and all sorts of strange music in your ears, completely at the mercy of the new element you.are in— your own 'awkwardness but increases your mishaps t while in the other, you "breast the swelling tide," serene and buoyant, or revel in its luxurious embrace with delicious abandon: To he sure, yob must go through with the one before yon can enjoy the other. - A GILATEPUI.Anst—When Judge Hen derson, of Texas, was first, a candidate for office, ho visiteti a frontier 'county, in which he was, except by deputation, ri stranger. Hear ing th tt a trial for felony would take place in a few days, he' determined to teltltiteer for the defense.. The -prisoner was charged with having stolen a pistol; the defence was " not witty." The volunteer counsel conducted the defense with great ability. lie confused the witnesses*, palavered gle court, and made an able, eloquent, and successful argument. The prisoner was acquitted—he had not sto len the pistol. The counsel received the enthu iastic applause of the audience. inno cent client availed himself of the earliest in terral,in the hurricane of congratulations to take-his counsel aside. "My dear sir," said he, "you have saved me, and I am very grateful. I have no money, do not, expect to have any, and do not expect ever to see you again; but to show that I appreciite your services you shall have the pistol I"' So saying, he drew from his- pocket and pre sented ,to the astonished attorney, the fey pistol the attorney had just shown he bad never sto!en or Kadin bitpossession. GOING SN KS.—Not long ago; in a neigh hosing city, as a butcher stood at his stall selling meat, he saw. a man stoop down and pick something .up. " What have you got there?" asked the butcher. . . The fellow said, "It looks like money." On esamination it proved to be a $lO bill, I suppose," said the butcher, "it is one I dropped, when making change, a little; ago!, • To wldch the finder replied "I think I ought to have one-half; for, had it not heti fur me vou wduld not have seen it again." , The butcher, kfloWing. it hot, te ,. 116 . bill; thought lie couldn't : do lessthin to comply with the fellow's request; he therefore took a five•dullar bill . out of his pocket=book aiid gave it to him, taking the ten himself. Soon afterward the butcher was purchas ing some goods in a store, and, offered, the bill in payment to the itcnekeeper, San Pro flounced it conntetfeit. The botch& wigs surprised,, and not overwell , pleased ; but on considering, thought the best thing he could do would be to store the ten-dollar note away in a safe place and ,say 'nothing about . the wav in which he had over reached , himself. • FRIN'tING OFFICE Jorvs.-zlt is customary, in printing offices, when a particularly green youth commences learning his trade, to make him the object of various - yikes. Ile is often sent to a neighboring office for an imagitiaty article, and wholly original in the mind of those who perpetrate the jokes. Once upon a time a '•devil" was seat to F—a--!rt office for a "quart of iidiforial." lle , vhts sent back with the picture of, a jackass. This was rather iettfrii Upon the jokers, .batitliify i4i mediately told the - briyin go to F—z— s and tell him it was "cditgrial" they wanted, and not the etfitoe. ADVAICTAtiES VA' Doctor,` said an old lady, the otitheor day, to her family physician, 4 kin yoti; tell me how it irthat some felks is born , dumb l" . ; certainly madam !" replied the deCtor: "It owing to _the fact that they canie.ifotki the world without the power of speech !" "La, me !" remarked the old lady ; ' now jest see what it is to loave a edication i : rye axed my. old -man , mor nor a bandrol times-that . ere sink: thing; and all could get 0111 of him ea',' I(