The post. (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, March 02, 1882, Image 1

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    r" Sir Ilateii
A. rl VOI
, col"'"" " 'u2"
H-hlf. column, oil""
....r.mrtn commit, one jer,
nt square t IO mins I immran
.Iilitioiuil liMertion,
,v . ....,, ...-..
.;.1titmiil Minimus cmiU ol
''r.L.. it .
5.00
J.ftt
AuJUor, Executor, AdimuiatrUor
1 Aiu Notices,
M;.a,;.l notices tcr line.
All trticianl advertising 1m than
a nnlHa til cents a tln.
All wtvertieeincnia for a shorter ne
.io.1 trfan one Tear are payable at tin 1
time tlfry are ornVrwl, and it not pah
be person ordering thonr will oe ueld;
ypoiiilbl for lha money.
Poetry.
AT THE ''MtTHODlST HOTEL
John, you put out the horse.
,naiiHw""- .
Com. to, u.y brother; how'e four wlft,
an 1 how'e the baby's cough T
I'm reallr irlad you called around i
yow'realways welooine btr ',
Our house ban been the preaohere'
hotne (or more than alaty year.
wk.n father waa a-llvln'. who bat
loiui alnce gone to rent,
The wl K d noljchbora called t'lla place
a "re'lar Mth UUt nt ;"
4 .,.1 ftt.-Ai,l, alt mrm
owned, aa water Uropa through
l-Tea :
I bought bla place at aherlfl'a eale, I
und tbere'a where Thontaa Uvea.
,, ' ' ,,.,
Ti.a mi man. 'fore pre-empting land
,---J..i--Pi.irrfMar-.
v. one dav luaklnir 'ranirmiienU for
the onea that atayed in thla ;
We Hid he hoped hla mantle would
tlc.enduponhlaaon,
And Idea tue if It han t come, ana
tie a DroauonHu.uiiB.
There waa a home at Uetliany. where
Jeu loved to utayt
We'd b'ave the clty'a puloce to get
there any day ;
But when he etood bcHlde the grave
whre Lazarua waa lowered.
AVepald, In reanur ectlon gold, the
distent for hi board
I've, read, oo, of the rlliuuaiuiulte.
who built upon the wall
A bed room for Ellnha, und invited
hiul to call ;
v.... .ua al wtutii't of the Hort who'd
A "
never OHk him hinii,
AiuldoeW hhu onhU italury becaune
lie didn't co:nj.
A...I thr was Siiiion'e cottugc, ii.
Jontui by the two.
A utopplu" ilico for Peter, and for al
null men ait he.
The man was at hi, tan'ry once, th
postal w.ut at prayer.
While Simon' wife wa hard at work
upon a bill of fare.
lie stove, it aceiiis. wa'nt good t.
draw, or else the wood was wet
Leastways the dinueron that day a
liretty hard to iet :
itt i in I lt rlnwn a table-coth With
dllTrtrent kinds of meat.
And told the hungry minister to hold
himself aud eat
Wlitr -thare'a niv irood old aorrel
horse. I cannot drive biui off,
Hut what he'll want to t p and drink
atev'ry watering trough,
Bo (J oil's dear ervuuts sometime
come to such us me and wife,
To get a cup of toa aloiu the dusty
road of life.
You'll tin 1 us plain and simple folks,
and homesiiun. I allow,
Although we've sold the splnnin'
wheel and huv an organ now
And Allice, she play"Uold the Port "
1 "Ovr there, "and Slum,
And dont them Ivories laugh aud talk
when tickled by her touch f
ami. I- l.nii aa lilisi I
iMgoou nuo. vn- -
s.kIlA f lift at vijl llArt UHlOW. I
vheu breaking off a chunk ot bread
would make a whole loaf grow ;
Of course It takes our chickens off tol
cheerthe preachers' way.
ButHamueoiareaine r ... ...
jUHt makes tne oiuers tay.
They Joined lu the festlvltlee when
Birdie was a bride ;
They went down to the shore with u
when darling Debbie died ;
ruey stood amium n suoAiuwa ui
l. . . m 1.A.IMA n it . 1 u Vl 1 1 1 1
KJrJZZtZZTZk ineth.
rainbow on the cloud,
I won't do all the talkhV quite, but
aomeliow moiu rtes uooa,
As soon's I hear upon the door your
old famlllitr knock ;
But supper's on the table, sir ; I think
you know your place ;
Come, brother, make yourself at home,
and won't you please say grace f
Lkona, pa.
NO SURRENDER.
Ever constant ever true,
Let the word be, No surrender I
Boldly dare and greatly do I
This shall bring us safely through
No surrender, no surreuder I
And though fortune's smiles be few,
Hope is always springing new,
BtiU Inspiring me and you
with tbe maglo No surrender I
Nail the colors to the mast
Shouting gladly, No surrender I
Troubles near are all but past
Serve them aajyou did the last
No aitrrendor, no surrender I
Though the skies be overcast,
And upon the sleety blast
Disappointments gather fast
Beat them off with No surrender I
Constant and frfmrageous still,
Mind, the word Is, No surrender I
Battle, though It be up hiU,
Stagger not at seeming III,
No surrender, no surrender I
Hope aod thus your hope fulfill
Tha-e'a way where tbere'a a will,
,A ndtbe way ail cares to kill
Is to? Urethra no sarrentsr !
l(.t'-"s
f2
n
77"k f 1 (1
I VU. 1 a a
Thfl DucV HunUr's Stary. .
Speaking of dock shooting 00 St,
Clair Flats," aiglieJ anjjld citizen as
is look a seat in a gun atora yeaater-
1 1 , "I dou'l think tbara am at many
bitJ, p ,, M tnere ten
.... wh. ai. th.
"- -
jtianools oned to be lust black witb
em, and tbey ware eo tama tbnt you
oould knock 'eiu on tba bead."
Everybxly aihid to lliink those
0 j1 old dure and ducks oould oaf
r return, and the veteran uiiltar
oootinned .
"I remember I waa out one day in
pril, I got in ainoui tho bipeds aod
"ow mauy do yott auppoaa I Count-
,dT
TLr e boo lred, "taotured ooa ol
,a audieoca after a long iutert at.
pTbree hundred! Why, I alwayakill-
I . ' .. .
' tt-ioaanj arery tuna
ent out. No.sir I oo-iote I oer aix
teea tboui vnd great, big, fat, plump,
juii0ios duoka, and then 1 bad ouly
oouotod tboaa on ooa aide of tba
()oftf j
"(low 1 Dg did it take you 1"
"I don't kno. a'r, bad oO walcb
vitb me. Time ia notbiug to a tuao
aouotiog ducka. countml aloud, aod
when tbe ducka were small count
d two for oue. By aud by I gl tir-
d of couutiug and got ready fot tbe
!lungbter.
of many did you kill "
' Woll, nor, I auppote I etuld li
tbout it aod aay I killod nine or ten
hundred, but Put getting too near
be grave for that. No. I dideo't kill
i blnsted one, and tbnt'a wbure tbe
lrange part of tbe story comea in
Vben I began lo lift that gun up.
boae ducka know what t wae up l'
iiai aa wen aa a uuintn uem, mi l
vlmt did tbey do f Why, air, ab.mt
wo bnndrod of Vn m i 1i a a 1 1 dun
live, awiirn uuder tbe boat, and ruin-
e J (1p ou bur port Hi Jo at on:o oil
ipaot hoi ! Pes, sir, they did. und there
I waa in tho North Cbuunul,'in ten
feet of water, boat upset, night com
I mg on and I in uiy wot ulolbiug."
Well r
"Well. I climod np on the bottom of
he boat, floutd fiva miles, aod waa
licked up by two Indiana. We tow
id that npset b.wt to an ialin I, and
ore another curiona tbing'comes in.
Juder tbe boat wero two hundred
tnd uixtyfonr large, plump duoka.
The bad been caught there when she
inse ana an we uu.i to ao w is to
iaul 'um out and rap 'em ou tbe
bead."
"Whys why diden't tboy dive down
md gut from under the boat 'asked
in auuiture duck shooter.
Why didn't tbey, sir! why didn't
bey! Well, air, ( might bavn asked
'em why they didn't; but it was late,
i cold wind had sprnng np. aod
lidn't feel like talking! All 1 know is
tbat i counted over sixteen tboos
md ducks, waa upset, captured two
hundred and aixty-four, and have af-
fidavita hero in my wallet to prove
Uerything I bave i a id. Does any
,ntt0 uere want to ie0 the doott-
nonts ?"
No man did. They all looked out
f the widows and wondered if they
could lie tbat way when they bad
passed three score years.
A conceited young country par
on, walking borne from church witb
I jne of tbe ladies of bia concresratioo
I alJ o alia8ioo to LJt rustic audience,
"This morning I preached to a con
gregation of asses."
'I thought of tbat," observed tbe
lady, "when you called them your
beloved breatbern r
A minister overtook a Quaker
lady, and politely assisted her in
ipening a gate. As ahe was a com
parative stranger In town, ba said;
Voa don't know, perhaps, that 1
am Mr. t haven't you beard me
reaob " "I have beard tbee try,"
was tbe quick rejoinder.
Now, you tbiuk it smart to ask
.bat mean question, bat we will ans
wer it. although such qneations do
tot deatrvo an anawer.
Editors lie so badly bocaase they
ire not osed to it.
It was wrong in Peg, tba shoe
maker, to but to tbe doctor who
tomplained that be bad made a poor
job of tbat laat pair of boots, "Pby-
liolao, beel tbyeolf."
An agrisnltural ezobange offara
tome advioe a "How to Tell a Bad
ixa- " V?t (0)u read the artlcK
nit onr advisf wonld bat lfyoo have
inytbiog to tall a bad rgg, W
res tt gently.
W
Iff
1L :,b
MIDDLEBURG, SNYDER COUNTY. PA, MARCH 2,
TalTSloriat.
Tba Wealero frontier of onr oono
try la highly prolific in tall atoriea.
Take tba matter of bard blowa. A
mao aitting in bia bona, eating a
pie, beard a atom coming, and ran
to tbe door. Tbe gala firat blew
tbe honae down i aod then seized
tbe mao, carried bim tbrodgb tbe
air a hundred yarda or eo, and laod
ed bim in a peach tree. Soon after
ward a friendly board from bia own
bouae came floating by. Tbia be
aeiced and placed over bia head to
protect himself from tbe racing blaat
and finiabed bia pie.
Ont in Nevada it baa bean told
tbat during a gale, while bonldora aa
big aa pnmpkina were flying through
tbe air, and waterpipea were being
ripped out of tbe ground, an old
Cbiuaman with apectaclea on bia
uoae, waa observed in tbe eastern
part of tbe town seated on a kooll
calmly flyl ig bia kite in irou h li
ter, witb a long chain for a tail
There waa a man from Koaton who
would uot coufeaa astonishineut at
auy-iuing ue saw in Nevada. Atb
waa pusaiug a hotel in Virginia City
the cup ble from one of the chim
ney a. It waa a circular piece of
ebbet iron, painted black, slightly
ooovex and tbe four eupporte were
wore like lege. Tbe wind carried it
down the street, and it went atraJ-1
ling along like a living thing. Tbe
Uoston man aaked what it w. A
bed-bug from tbe hotel, waa the
reply. " Uoorge I never a.v any.
tiling liko :bU," he began and then
:i l it 1 ''iiutM.lu of l isfon.
A party of minora to tbe D'.ui! :
diiU iMiiii irnl cyi-a and eara ov.-r u;
camp tiro Ouu x.iid : "When 1 if
omiu to tho bills looked f.ii Id
dinns until I could aoo a mosinito a
mile away." Another suid that his
eyes wore weak but tbut be could
bear goals jumping on the rocks
four miles. Tbunextmin b i l lis-
tuned for ludiunn until be bud board
the tuo'inU'ri stieep liht on their
horns in tho II g M innti in, three
buudred miles a ay. Tbe fourth
with bis bead on bis pillow, had
strained bia ears until bo heard the
Cbineae nailing up tei b x a. The
fifth in crossiug tbo Kocky Moun
tains, bud lono. I a pelr.fi j J forest,
the treoa turnod into aoliJ stoue.
At he loitered on tb J e lge, a deer
started across the vulley aod was
transformed in a m iujut into soli I
atone. A bird tie v put bi n, and
pearchiug npou a troo betn toeing.
Suddenly the bird was changed to
atone. Tho song she wus singing
was also petrified, banging down
from tbe peak of the bird.
A Yankee who bad settled in tbe
West baviug told an Englishman
that he had shot on one particular
occasion nine hundred and ninety
oiue pigeons, bis interlocutor asked
why he did uot make it a thousand
at once. "No, said be, not likely
Pin going to tell a lie for one pig
eon. Hbereopoo me r.ngusninan
determined not to be outdooe, be
gan to toll atory of a mao having
swam from Liverpool to Uoston.
Did you see bim V asked the Yan
kee. "Of ojurse I did s I was com
ing across and oar vessel passed
him a mile out of Boston harbor."
"Woll I'm glad ye saw bim stranger,
'cos yer a witness tbat I did it
That was me 1"
Took Different Routes.
Gracefully dropping on one knee
he busied bim self fastening a skate
to tbe pedal phenomenon wbioh she
exhibited to bis aatonisbej gaze.
All at onca ba stopped in tbe very
middle of his task and appeared to
be reflecting profoundly.
"George, darling," she aaked,
"what are yon tbioking abontt"
"I am tbioking," ba anawered,
witb a look tbat indicated how deep
ly he was affected by tbe idea tbat
possessed bis mind, "I'm tbiukiog,
dear, whether, if Noab bad one of
your shut-, be would bave found it
nucesbary to build tba ark.
Prom that unman t their soali
doatud t jward the infinite by differ-
eut routos.
-'What time is it, my dear, asked
a wife of ber husband, whom she
suspeoled of being drunk, but who
was doing bis best to look aobar.
'Well, my darling. I can't tell, 'eanse
job ae there are two bands on my
. , , .. .
f ico, aou eacq poioia io a oiui rrnt
f jare, aod I dou'l koow which to
H.n.va.
a ?'.
Fun at i Moral fore. '
Fun la aa diitiaet a moral force aa
prayer. A good bearty, bealtby laugh
will clear tba eobwa'ba out of tba
brain, reoe tba blood lono tbe!donan't bemtate to forga when
oervee, and drive all clear tbe cob
webs ont of tbe brain, renew tba
blood, tone tbe nerves, and drive all
thought of committing ll.tgraut!
wrong from tbe mind. It baniHlipej
worrying cares, aod knits humanity
in Cjuioion kindred. Every miaeum-
iry enterprise ought to provide
imusomeot Preaching services,
prayermeetinga, Sunday schools,
philnntbropio orgonizatioos an I
even charity well boatowed get no
closer to tbe boarta of the bumble
thill) do those who Induce them, to
tenl an hour a way fron ending
toil lo recuperate their euergie an 1
renew their moral vigor by rntion.il
enjoyment. Tbia done, and tbo
woik of getting in communion witb
I lie in ia complete, Laugh with those
who la igb, and weep with those!
whu weep.anl atn if by ontributing
to their mirth youcanuo c'in tliem
to forget sorrow and to rtop think
ing of tho batllo of lift long enough
to realize than uiou aud woiuuu were
made to be invigorated by fun,
morally, mentally aud physically.
Albany lieprt.
The Ear,
Few people realize what a won lur
fully delicate atrucluie tbe human
ear re illy ia. Tbat which we de
ai.'nato no ia only tbe mere outer
pjrr-h uf a orita of winding ian
"'"h, nbicli, liko tbe lobbies of n
-rmt building, loud from tbo ou'tr
,ir ii.to tl inner dmiaboi -i.
HiiNttiiu of thmu pnsH,rus aro full
of liquid, nod thoir muiubraina are
stretched like pirch.intnt curtains
across tbe corridora at dilTureut
placea, and can be thrown intj vi
bration or made to tromblo aa the
huud of a drum or the surface f a
taiubo niue djus when striok with
a atick or the finigera. Motwoun two
of these parcbtuont-like curtaiua a
chain of very ema'l bonaa etm h.
which aervo to tighten or rulut
theae metubrancea, and to cjinmuni
cate vibrations to tham.
Iu thu.iuneruiost placn of al', r wa
of fine tbroad called oorves strutoh
like tbo stringi of a pitn, to tbe
last point lo wbich tbo tromblioga
or thri.ling reach, and pass iuwurd
to tbe brain. If these nerves are
destroyed, the power of beariog cer
tainly departs, as tbe power to give
out aouods ia lost by a pi ini or vio
lin when ita strings are broken.
l'hiladd)hii Timet.
Facts for the Curious.
Out of every bun Irad inhabitants
of the United States sixtuou live in
cities.
A locomotive drinks 45 gallons of
water tvery mile it travels.
Tbe finest thread in a spider's
webb is composed of no losa than
4,009 strand.
Wli4a ai ouraUog dies the others
cover up the body with branobea of
treea.
A solemn old scientist printed the
fact tbat by bathing the faoein tepid
water a mau could iuoroasu bis cir
culation, and no all the editors
are having tanks lilted to their of-fioe-stoves,
The water-boatmen, among tbe
most agile of water insects, row
themselves along uuder side upper
moat Their habit of moving upside
down is of great use to tUem in
feedimr, for many of their victims
have bard backs, so tbe water-boatmen
dive dowu and oj no up nuJor
their prey thus attackiug them on
their soft side.
When Father Alvord was invited
to ask a blessing at s public baoquet
be bowed bis bead and said, "0
Lord I Adam sinned by eating and
Noah by drinking. Keeps us from
tbe wickedness of tbe oue and tbe
f lly of tbe otUor, Amen ."
A man who goes np in a balloon
and comes down all right is culled a
professor. A roan who goes up and
cmnes down all wrong is called a
durn fool.
Osoar Wilde tblnka tba Atlantic
Oosan "tame." It ia hard to aait
snob a man. Wo shall bave to in
troduoe bim to an aotress who . baa
uih a atafcAma.nl In th nmuii thai
alia U Aa 9imtm Yf t,al itfiain'! '
aolt his taste f-;r the wildly ferocJius
bis fits is homeless.
The Blaakimifti.
Tbe blao' smith ia an booeat fel
low, although be baa to pound iron
and ateel for a IWinjf t aod
be
be
cm nike any money ont of it, Tbe
blacksmith ia tbe borse'a shoemaker.
Udfore Cttinjl on a sot of ebofl be
always gives the horse a ptre. Tlio
borsj h a only four fnot, I) it when
the blacksm th baa fitted tho h isV
ore feat tbara are t in re etill to
bo fitted. The horse haa no nail in
bia toes tberofore the bltcki'ni(!i
furnishes nails aa well as sl oes
Tlio bliicksttLiUi ia a ato.i ly working
m-n, and yut he ia firevor atriking.
W'lion thii bl icks nilh bis b n nrel
two pieoea of iron together the work
is weld done. Tlio biitcksmilli is a
nan of rantat. The bl loksiuith is
fond of fibli. He ia the eicelter'n
host oustoiuur. Tho bliii'kmnitb ia a
prantiad minclwunn an I at tbe
same timo a good Christian. Th
first blacksmith mentioned iu his
tory was Tubal Cain: Tubal of
course was a hitter. There is an
other Ciin moutioau l in Scripture
Vltbou'h he was n t a blacksmith
ho w ii iti an .ll)ol bitter. Cain
was a b lib m buau. He en biavorud
to rise in the world flint ia to any.
be ruioe 1 cans. He also razed Abo'.
Vnlciin's mother was Juno, hut Juuu
that well enough, if you are acquain
ted with aticieut myths. Yuli'tiii
w:is a myth :i blacksmith, ita said.
H tulus of African tMvelus, if
you wonl I luuro more about the
Hindi's myth Vuloiu, it is unid.
aiii'i.lfiiCUIiuJ tililii I'Tlultd. llo in
t'i.: lirs. h !it liu r-ro 1 m m ou ru
crl.
Tho Hur and lliu Fish.
The Hiiro and the Pish having
borrowed tobicc of o wli othur for
sevunl to inths, uu 1 areoing per
felly well ou p ilitiji. sot o it t )
in iku a j Mi ii'iy toulbur au 1 sua tho
sight of the worl I. Tneylul n it
procuo I tunny nu.ua wnou a
Wolf wu discovered in tliuir p ir-
suit. The II. ire at once started off
at the top of bis spued, but the flab
called nut :
"Do uot ltiive iuj tliui i caunot
run !"
' A Fish wlv cannot run haa no
busiuus to intko a journey," replied
tho llarekuud away lie liu to svo
bis biion.
Tuu liish h irrio 1 aftir a fast ft
possible, and both finally fouud
tl) l :n selves ou the bunk
while tho Wolf wa yut a furlong
away. Tbe Pish ut onco rolled into
tbo water and then durtod away,
but the Hare shouted after him
"Do not Ituvo me 1 cannot
swim !"
"A H ire who cinn t s vi.n hi no
business to m iku a journey," au I bo
sailed away aud loft the ll iro to be
uatun ou the half shell.
UOIIAL.
An Owl who bad overheard tbo
affair from bia porch in a pnraim
moo troe dre down his loft eye and
aoftly said t
"You don't know a mm until you
have Unveiled with him. UJtroit
fret PretH.
dru's ia Laura's Composition on
the cow I "A cow is an ani'Uil with
four legs on the uu lor si lo i ouu oo
each corner. The tail is longer than
the legs, but it is uot nsed to stand
on. The cow kills flies with hor
tail. A cow baa big ears, itbat wig
gle oa biogoa i so doea the tail. A
CoW is bigger than a c ilf, b it not as
big as an elephant. She is made
small, eo she can go in tbe barn
dour when nobody is looking. Some
cows are blaok, aod some hook. A
dog was hooked once. She tossed
the dog tbat worried tbe oat tbat
killed the rat. Black eows give
white milk ao doea other cows.
Jilk-tnen aell milk to boy tbeir lit
tle girls dresses, wbich tbey put wa
ter in and chalk. Cows chew cuds,
and oaob cow finds its own chew.
Then they swallow their chew and
chime another chew to chew. This
ia all there is about cows.
A great lie is like a great fish on
dry land t It miy fret aud fling, and
make a great bother, but it oan't
bnrt you. You bave only to keep
still and it will die of itself.
A very necessary
band. A tnsbund.
When a couple make tip tbir
'winds to get inarriod It tuny ba
cslIsJa tie utt.
IS8'J.
NO, i
Krwwledjaln a N jtihsll.
A pace three feet.
A cubit is two feet.
A fathom is sit feet.
A palm ia three luclms'
A leaugne is three rn.lt.
There are 2.760 languages
A gieat cnblt ia eleven fe t
To persona die every atronil.
Dran. twenty pmiLd per I. unlit I
Found moves 74 J nn us pur bout.
A square mile contains til ) onr.
A barrel of ice weighs 01) poiim!.
Slow liveia llj Uvj luiti p
iit.i.r.
A barrel of pork weighs 20
pounds
A barrel of fljur weigl s K)
pounds.
An aero contains 4,4S) squr
ynida. Oats, thirty-three pounds
luisbtd.
ll.irley, f.nty ci0'bt pxin ls p'i
niixbel .
Electricity moves milo
ler hour.
Ahuid (horse iu.mh ik ) is foil
Hie lies.
A spau is tun aud euvov-cightt
incbta.
A title bill mo-es 1,000 milea pei
hour.
A storm blows thirty eix, rrilot
per Inuir.
A rspi 1 rivers tlowa seven miles
per hour-
Hiickwbi'ot, fifty-two ouuds pei
bdhbel.
Tiio first Ijcifur mitcli wis mile
in t b-'O.
Tbe firnt steiruhout bl id tie I
Hudson iu 1SU7.
A ruod-rii'u wiul blows seven
miles per Ii .ir.
A burrio.iuu uivus eighty mil s
pur hour.
Tho average huu in lifo ii th rly
oue yonra.
Tiuutbyado.il forty pouuJa pei
butibl.
Conrso aalt, forty-fivo pounds per
bunt elf.
The first boreo railroad was built
in 1820-7.
A tli km of butter woigbs.forly
nix pouuda.
A tub of butter weigha eighty
four pouu I.
A day 'a journey i th'aty-threo
sud oue uigbtb-milcs,
It's a funny old world unjhow,
and tutste is ouly a in ittor of educa
tion. Your bby contentedly gums
uniiT iuiiuii i ... ... .i
, candy, tbe n itivo African piont.luny
of a rivor.l, , " ,. , . : ,, ,
, , is lovoils over a mouthful of aalt.uud
tbe youtig Esqniuinux cries for tal
low candle t wo gorgo ourselves ou
oysters, whilo tba l'igger udian
wonld uot givo you olo long fat
Biiuku fur all the oysters in Chesa
peake Uny. We or at least you,
chew tobacco, tho Hindoo, limn, aud
tlio utioitmiUtiotn so 1 uot ovur
fsalidioua Putaouiiii, when ho
wants a cbuw of sometbitig leul
g o I, rolU a q ii l of nuno iuto his
cbcuk. TbTLt's the Liud of a gum
drop bu is i aod you couldn't hire
him to cbuw tobacco. Cuius, in
dued he may hiivo leuruod tbo habit
from the missionariea.
During tbo siage of Sjlmtopol a
It rssitu sooll b n'io 1 iUilf iu tlio
side of a bill, ivltbout tin city aol
opened a spring. A litllu fountain
bubbled forth whore tbo ro niiudor
of tbe slugu atl'jr lod to the thirsty
troops who were stationed in tbil
yioiuity an ubund int.siipply of pure
Cold wutor. Thus tbe missilo of
death from an enemy, under tho di
rection of an overruling I'rovi teuco,
provod an almoner of tbe allien.
"Can there bd happiness whore
thera ia no love t" solemoly queries
aa author iu a book oa m irring.
"Not much happiness, perhaps, but,
if the girl ia awfully rich, there can
be lota of fun."
Abianca of Mind.
Wa oooe heir I of a oloryonn
wbo went jog;ioir alou tbe roal
until bs oamu to a tuinpiko,
"What is to pay f"
"Pay, air ! for what " asked tb.
turupike-mari,
Why, for my horso, to ba sure."
"Your horse, sir I Wb.it borae f
There ia no horse, sir "
"No bora 0 j id grantou T' sal .
I e su lJo ily lookioi d W i batueu
bis legs i
''J thought was on horse'iack 1''
1 1 j 1
"iltmra. d yd I know what tin
largest srecles of ants are t Yon
sbaka sour bead. Well. I'll tell
t oo- ttsy at elaf tiBDts,"
rising ( why 4
ruli!lift cvsr ThitrsHnv RvramsJ
JKREMIAU CaOVSB, Irtp-f
Terms of SdbscYTptoon, ,
rVO IK5LLA M PEIt ASS VM tf
able vithin si moiiths, ot a-.'ioifiHH
put' I within thi yaf. No m dis
criiiliuued uftt;i all artearsra a-w
paid unless at the option of the Bt
Itslmr
Mibsi riptl'wia ntttsifa of the comata
I'.trAtiLR IN Abvatci
tsjr-Pcrions Itlllti ami itsing Jisfxw
Wrpd jo tthr l e omennnsi rioart
nrt r linhle rortlio price urtliepapar
No Whiskey!
Brown's Iron nrrrtRS
is one of the very few tonic
medicine that are not com
posed mostly of alcohol or
whiskey, thus becoming a
fruitful source of intemper
ance by promoting a dvsirc
for rum.
Brown's Iron Bittfrs
is guaranteed to he a non
intoxicating stimulant, anJ
it will, in nearly every case,
take the place of all liquor,
and at the same time abso
lutely kill the desire for
whiskey and other jntoxi
eating beverages.
Rev. G. W. R tor., editor of
the American Christian R'
first', says of Diown's Iron
Hitters:
nn .O .Nov. t, i8Sr. '
Gents i The foolish sat
ing nf vital force in liunm-M,
pleasure, and vicious Indul
gence of uur peorlc, makrt
your preparation a necessity ;
arul if applied, will uve hun
dreds who resort lo saloons
(or temporary rccuicrauoo.
Brown's Iron Bitters
has been thoroughly tested
for dyspepsia, indigestion,
biliousness, weakness, debil
ity, overwork, rheumatism,
neuralgia, consumption,
liver complaints, kidney
troubles, tic, and it never
fails to render speedy and
permanent relief.
(Qiticura
fl.o. W. tlrnwn. in Marshall St. rrntlSsssS
H.I. rural tlutiara Mr. lol i l.luo I putl
lirr anil I'mleuf n l t nllciira Muap IliiS
liraat ,kln .-u-eio l a Itlfttfw inn Uu ur ant at
llm l.ib. r' whl. h raail all near tils t,fi
nrrk an.l tarn, nr I (urtia )r ratlliad all
InU. ut ire-lm.nt.
ki in .iion.
r II. Ilrakr, r; ,arntfr llarprr fc nrns .
Iielrnlt MI-h.,Kl. mi ' mi.'il'.n on n-n t or
Ills rata leri.in ri'lani), alil.-n ti uan
irsatal anl wli.i-b .ialii jrinl-'aO t ths
i:n.eura anil l'nilu'a noaii (lua rl sla
(mar) aitrrDally.
st 4i.li ni:ti.
H. A.llarmond, Au tttor V, W, 3 a a, B,K .
.Is. kt-u. Vlih , rureil of til llaail of
nlna tsars ilurallua It Ilia Cullcura Kaiua-
.llsr.
Ill tiV.H A .
linn, iv ut. Tathr, llntion. Mm. rarnian-
antly ourcil ul a liumnrul tb fat's ai l aal
(anaiuai that hail Mu traal.l uaiuanaiiiuilf
lu? twelm taara yaart i.v many ol tfi.ftuu
u-tt I'tiiilolani au I u itt nutal i.tnlaini, at
nan a, curspean auiuoritiot .
MILK III S
Mr. Huoari, 141 Clinton St. Clnnmnatli
Makn ul ln-r .lular'r UII I, iV'io w rural or
milk cru.t wiil"h rail.te I a I n 11a. I ir iwo
tun. N.i s not Uaalibr !ujr, allb s Itaail
lul beail of hair.
I l.l.l II tilt.
1'r.ink A, Kran. St. 10 Ir'ira I'nalna . H
I11D, wni. eoreil ol A lul-cu, ur lallli s
triir, dy tl ai'Mt-nra Kt.obtnt (ii!o tl purinart
Interonliy anil I'litu-ura rml t.ullrura Bnau
Hit araat kln ours-) atiaruiHri wnlnU oum
( lairlr rat', rtd bit blr auta all tanl bt
wouhl lufa it.
ut 1:4 ru i:t.
The t'atlrura llentmatit C'ln.lHt ih tha Ini
Irrntl uie ol that u lcura Kii.ouani, th pa
bio 1 .nrinr. anil iha astsrnil ut al t 'U'lesra
m l t'sile na t)i, tut s'tJl tuu tittt.
II l it I It A.
Prmailli-a art far talk he all ilniattf lata, fries
..( IT 1 11 mt, a lillt!li nl .Int . , .mall b iai,
au. .: larsa iKiian, l i iTiri al llnin vot,
1I1S it' ml I'urihvr, SI p r tuiilt. I'l'lii t'S
l iiirm ai. T"ii.i"T h .r, t rt'rrM
ilKiMi'iaaL lnii.Kr hear, Ibo i In hart luf
hariiartaul lart e in.umart, tut. I'rlntlial
litp.il, Wr.KKS fc POT IKK. Il.lon. Matl.
CATARRH
Sanford's Radical Cure.
tlltar ht.d an1 antes, t,T bra. tblna, iwtSt
bra. Hi, parlscl "Intll, twla aoj hearinic, OJ
eouk-h, nn dltlratt. by uls basronos
llauicaL t I at.
Sttttr Snill rnnr taaait U rsaily in fle nf, t't4
tail aoia rut ulna waiar, turoat pareiial aad
blood Uttriab or lak n KaaroHii'a Hajlc'.
t iia lor llatarra ana IX tsrau.
Wllch Hatrl, Amarlrau I'lna, Cahaits Vlr,
II trliinM aut t'lorar Hlot.oina ut what Saa-
fur.l't Kailiaal Our. la mails of. I'na bonis
Hailia.l Hurt, eat boa Calarruai nairtai ana
t.ulur.l't labalar, Is it no. tor tl. tit
a.ar,b.ra n,.,ll ........
Vt.JV Oentta. )ti i ft. Ilia, ui.ll.
Ury tdwltu llral. llal.am,
-itl- - rrn.iar fl.l i nk Vol..
TAlt; 1 li "PI.AH.
7
IrliHi.ti" libbiiril I Diat
utrlnr ta all uiktr pi
itraluratar i-ain. vss
j. raaaaaaj CL r r.. ai u j. ,mmn
jt-ftv IjOrtlJetnla. aodtt.ir-
pXBOtlTORS NOTICEUttth
I J SMtanaai.tar as tk trials af
VI4RV HSAVSaU Hstaa.ro, lata i
issltp Twp., Nnyrtar tosntf, rassa.
ilas baas kranlsilto tlit tisiiartlsntil, all
tartoat knoaina tlitniaals ih-ialiltS to rtia
aaualt ara rmaaaiaS ta lixiiit IsaaatSiaia pay
aaat, ablls Ikoaa kaalns aialutt will prsaaal
uis aail BBUMBiitSaM lor aatiiraaaai i
WM.UCAftM,
rah. la. IfM, r ara-ar.
Wby do ox aJitoia 1 so (mo)
1 n n ar
r
1.
t
f
1: Ir
' Hi
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