HJL
"ft fft win or liuton.
O. e-'-flim one year, i wxt
nite-Hatf, enliimn, one year, 30.K)
,iJae"'or column, one year, . 13.00
a-aaxftar (10 lino) 1 Immtirm- 75
LaW additional Insertion, 80
trofte1onal Ami BuMneancarJs of
notuiUff thdnS linos per jrour, 5.00
Auditor, Executor, Administrator -
and Aeeignce Notice, 20
Alitor!! notice per Una, "15
All tranaoioiit advertising less than
t saontha 10 coulee line.
All advertisements for a shortor pe
riod than one year are payablo at the
time thojr are ordorod, and il not paid
Hha pemon ordering thorn will ue held;
(MnotMibiA lor me monev.
1 o o t r .v
Other Frlowt Think So Too.
ftaV Jawo thing a man en hava
la all thla worlJ of wos n l irlfe,
Taat waVe th bmlnea aot Ioj b I,
Aal that oi Ibia'i an ny wife.
I) gat faacy that I lov my girl
f or Mi thtakt or rve btir ?
Bat koliU n hrt beiu tli li'ijt'ii
Seoao th laughs, anl Joein't ear.
pat sly boot juit were It lulu,
Aa4 and thee where I p it thou, to ;
the U a thing, yoa mutt allow.
A akap sea very iiMon do.
I Isav air paper on my Jk (
Ska btt dual llttn la a beep,
Or lake to .it'll tbt kiteHan doe
Tka Vry on I want to keep.
a viator nlgbu my oiy dam
- Will warm btr toot be fur th Art
Ska evr scold about Ibt lamp,
Or wants tka wiek a trill bighor.
Oa Sun Jay eh li aot to Rot
Bat whet bar ruffle I cn log ;
I light my plpejuit wher I plea,
Aad spill th eab oa tin rug.
be bod la afr 6tlJ with 'hara''
A tblng nni women vilely plm
To worry itrvaot half to death,
Aad apotl Ibo temper of a man.
flka lets ma ilecp to any hour,
Nor ratoct toy horrid dio
If It Just happen, bow oa I then,
Tebf,ui( 1st wheal come In.
I tn you Jiok, tfyou would wtJ,
Jen got a girl wbo let ibiogi run ;
fiba'U keep her 'omprr like Unb,
Aad help you oa to lot of fun.
Doa't look for raioey. etjrle or ohow,
Or bluihiog bcuty, ripe tad rre j
Juel Uk tbo on wbo leughe it fat
Wbo Uughi,oad ohowo lb Jjou't or.
Tea think, perbkp, our houneliol J nay
Are J net ptrohono a IlltU iclied ;
Oh, when Ibey get too horrid bJ,
W tir about and get Ihinje Bel.
What eoaBptiiiiou b u a una
Wbo arn hi brenl by eit of brow
If home le mad a b attic .ground,
And Ur on loaj, eternal rov t
Jlarper't Mvjntinf fur September.
My First Cigar.
Twail behind the wuodabed.
On glorloua tu n n.ir d iy,
Tar o'ar the bill tli ai nkio aua
Puriued it westward wiy.
Aad In my Ion (volution,
Bofely remoft I fr
Vom all cf earth' condition,
I uukd my Oral oigr.
Jib, bright Hi boyish fanoln
Wrapped iu tbe wreittbvt of bin f
Vy rye grrw dim, my Lead waa light,
Tka wooJshad aroun I m flew.
Dark night oloeed Id and around me,
Rataaa without a tar,
3rim death I thought had found tur,
And ipoiltd my Brat cigar,
Ah, pallid wa my nobl trow,
Tb craning might araa lato,
Wjr (tartlfd mother eried la feur,
"My child what have you at f
I beard my rather amalberel U'Jgk,
It iremed ao ttraoga and far ;
I kow k kew, I knew be kne
I'd imoked my Aral cigar.
liui'lington Hauler ye
awaawawa?ai,MMM, ,
Van Veltman's Dream
A COMSTOCUB VP AMOHU THI PLNETa.
Tk worried about a dream I bad
laat night," said Veltman yesterday,
m be Mated himself ia a bar-room
chair, after swallowing bis matutinal
oookUil. ! never bad aaeh a
dream. Everything seemed plain
nd reasonable enough in tbo dream,
bat now I cau't separata the aeuao
from tho nonsense."
lleoeiving some eneourageraent,
Mt. Veltman proceeded to relate bia
Tuion as follows ;
"I dreamed died aad went to
" Heaven, or to wbat should have bee a
somewhere in that neighborhood, I
got there all aloue away up among
tho stars, which seemed a mighty
alialanoo opart . All was cold and
fitrango and unoomfortable. Pre
sently I saw tbe now moon, wbicb
looked somewhat home-like and
familiar, ao I went over to it and
seated myself io a enrvo of it, where
there waa a oomfortablo resting
place for my back, tbiukio? I'd take
tbiogs easy and look ab out for a
timo.
I bad hardly got comfortably fil
ed bofore a rather briak-looking per
onage with a paper cup on bis head,
wearing a leather apron and carry
ing a monkey wreuoli in hi band,
appeared before me.
'Juat arrived V he said briskly.
. " 'J net this minute landed,' said I.
1 'Well,' said tba man, wbo looked
.like an engineer, or soma kind of
machinist, 'tbia is no place for
Idlers i yoa most go to work.'
'To work 1 said I feebly. -Am
I not ia Heaven 1'
. M -Heaven I I don't know what
yoar ideas of Heaven may be, bat I
can tell you that you are iu tbe great
wornatwp , , or ins universe. TKo
idiars ksVe, I oao assure yon.'
f i-r-l t'ioo'jbt 1 badooms bere
4ortVr " tll.
- 1 1 " - annaa m tha
WT ' r . . . i "srs ' looking f.,r i
s .ii:sl.:irs ibotxlu
VOL. 18.
all tho worlds to ureti. Aral tj be
kept tip io all the a no a. aud ocoaoa
of uobttlvitia ant tur ti be looltod af
ter, ami worked intj aateroida and
thina, Lota of work io do, and
jtint now wo nre very ahort-bandod
been xtandirifr our rogulur worka
out into Kpnre.'
"Juat tiiou I waa atiutlod at the
night of an iintnotiae flory ball that
caruo mailing aUnr with a terrible
touring eound. and wblcli left bxliiud
s trotuundoua trail of aparka. ear
ona t what it tuut a ooiuot f I
cried.
" 'A eomot,' eaM tba poraonaqfe
bofore mo, 'I bulievo it is wbat you
bare been tttnlit to cull a comet b it
you'll find out eiaotly wbat it ia be
fnfo y i t'e b ma hera I ) i. II w
oror, I may aa toll yoj what
you aea ia tbo apociul car of one
of Ibe boMsen. Tlure are millions of
them in all wbo K' tliroilb iutor
atolla pparo inapnctinf-tbiufa mill
iuua of them, and to tue tlior auetu
to be puHaiu ovcry five tntuutea, but
where you come from they aeotn l
be visible only at lou i laleivuls.'
" 'Where ia tbe bi boaa of all
Doea bu too, have a car I' asked I,
"'No, yon fool! yjj wtnt
aie to kuot-k you off tbe born of that
moou ? No one here hua ever yet
aeon tbollranl Hi t I Jj iter.'
' 'But inn t tbia lleaveo V
"'Why do you kuop HHkinjj tue
that pi!htiou 't llavuu't I told yoil
that you are cow in tho great work
shop of the univerao f It wua
uuveu where you came from lint
you did not know it. You will have
no HUt-li i;ood timtia heie, I cun to'l
yon. You will uot bo
allowed to
lout about note tuM ao ua you ,
pijrtse. inure you una a uotiy atu
fuulina to tell yon when niivtlii'i
hurt Jon to lull yon when you .wan
tired, au I o on. Down thi-re you
hit I ii (tiling to d bitt m t'ie your
ttclf huppy to eii joy yonixt-lf t but.
like it pcl of foolx, you all go to
piling up lujnuy, or trying to, an 1
wony youtHulvua about netting
tlj'us Hint uio of little mo to you,
coumJeitn the timo you have to
at.iy, Yoa havo been up here hund
red of tiiuo before, but you don't
kuow it yet, aud a ill uot ronittmher
it till you have been here a million
jears a-d have paseed throu,;li a
iiii;u j mi U'iva hoi juv buou. i ii
were only aeiit do n to tho enith for
u hiiiicu tif lilioeu miuutus f irtt
uud letiehhiiKiutii. Now you've got
to go to wni k. I've ju.it boou euut
over heie by olio of tbo lonie to
lull joti ho. l.'p Lijio y J 1 wout Irivo
x liibbery body that you muat care
for."
" Mint,' said I, o htva ash tpo ua
I see,'
" Yen,' Bui 1 tho being buforo mo t
'up buru you liavo a b.idy aud you
dou't have one ; you fuel mi I tiro
hurt, but not ildiuaged. You know
how it was tlotvti there on your lit
tle out I U "Hua man who had lout
uu in iu, or bad auy part of biui cjmo
on ltoforu liis main hulk f You kuow
tho foeliug he hit 1 iu a tiling that
bad oVp ii'toj ftoiu hiiu ?'
'Yea.
"'Yea Well, yott might have
guessed from tbut aometuiiig aa to
what would preHutitly bu the condi
iou of your whole body. That with
in you which uevor dies focla hh
koeuly through the whole aa through
apart, lull are now all leg, all
arm all any part you will, Isnt
time llica, and I must set you to
work, Whoro aro yon from f
'From Virginia City," said I,
tnrniug my bead and lo iking oil
towards where a little bluck atar
abuut tea foot iu diameter waa
waltzing rouud tbo moon, with oth
ers atill smaller whizzing round it in
varioaa directions
Wbat I From tho Co uitiak,
bey !' and the puraonage began to
eoowl. 'From the Comatock why,
I've a notion toaeud you right out
to aliovoliug oomet dust iulo tbe
sun.'
"'Pray donoL'aaid I, 'for though
I'm from the Comatock I never
worked ia the lower levels.'
M 'What, then do you feel like do
ng what kind of a job would you
like V
" 'Well, if there is a vcaoy I
think I'd like the plaoeof watchman
on one of the moons of Jupiter.'
" 'Yes you'd like a uioecool place
ebf
" 'I'd prefer euoh a phoa to start
in o n.'
' 'Well. I'll fU you. I ahV.l give
yoa a nice eool job near your late
home.'
" ' Thaak oa, sir.' .
" 'Yea, f'll aot you to work dowa
oa your earth at tbe North Pole.
Nothiug to do there but to chop the
ice off the big gudgeon aud keep it
well greased. Come right along
now and get to work.'
'Saturn has eight moons,' said
, 'and there might be a vaotuoy.'
" 'Yea, and also a big lot of fly
wheels wbat you eill rings I can't
trust you there. You'll chop ice
awhile a million years or ao then
1 11 see if I oan nud, a vacancy some
where an! put yott ia es watchmau.
Come aloug and bore be snatched
ma off the moon and I felt myself
falling, fulling, falling, for weeks and
mouths tilt at laat 1 landed oa a big
eukeofice.
'Are you oat of bed you old
brut V said an angel voice wbioh I
at ouoe reeognised aa being the pri
vate property of my will, and I fait
ao relieved and happy that 1 would
have kisaed ber if ahe bad not made
diaparanlnt
ranrirka ab'it u v
! I ' 4 .it. it !
r i.
MIDDLEBURG, SNYDER COUNTY,
How It tUppam.
Day by day we are more aa 1 more
iinpreasod with the fact that Durlinu;
tou ia a city of original ideaa, broad
judgment, ptofouuJ viea and nni
paralleled activity. It only needs a
brief rovle of the ehroui-len of local
events which are datlv placed belore
the taloreated public by our paioa
taking au I iuduxtrio is c ille t ie o
the forth p to of this paper, to con
vice any one tli.tt llurlin ton ia a city
of not m il merit and oriio ll po
euliaritioa. During the eilit tnoutha
p int, the I io t recjr U liov th it in
one department alone, that of orii
unl acuiddnta, the city of tho hills
baa more than diatinniahed her
self. They will allow that.
A North Hill Rirl fell into the riv
er and wia reuouod with both stock
ing full of tilth
A Pond atreot girl jabbc.l a hair
pin throuh her car tvice in the anion
week, each time in a new place, and
uow ahecati we.tr double-b-trrol oar-
A Sonth Hill baby swallowed a
glaas button with a brmHye. H.ibv
now woihs tweuty-eijfht pouudaand
d oesa't cry once a week, aul hi the
cheek of a peddlur.
A North M.iu atreet nna dropped
a apoou ful of rod-hot solder in bin
shoe while tnou liutf a totkuttlo, and
auuoomtfully buruej out a soft com
th.it two pfofostitiitl ehirop lists
had chiro dropped iu vain.
A JolLra u atront inurnlit-it atep
pod ou it li.in tu t peel and full over a
dry hj ! b m. kn jinr oit the on
y '""Hid tooth iu bia hell, only
iniuuii luiiHiioa aitor I'oclor WiUon
had pounded eight dollars' worth of
gold into it.
A Vino street man swallowo I a
roijuterfeit (jitartor, and it long-haired
Mlappiiiff doctor audnn Ottuuiwa
healer knocked aoveuty-oibt dollurn
of goj 1 mouoy out of him trying t J
lin t it. The iu n as-nvo better
than a Leadvillo silver claiip, a lon
aa his pile lueted.
A woman on Columbia atroet acci
dentally dropped a uiue-yoar old
oeut try pl tut, pot and all, out of a ae-
Coii.l Mtorir u n.lnw fi, . ..;..
ti ikin-her liUHban l in the back,
tlio h.i J::!t lnl I ;m r fr n In win I.
,, ttll obstruction tll.lt. Il l l U,.n.
him coui:liiu'' eviii'v ui.Lt for u
week,
A tramp from Illinois dipped
through uu open grutiugiu tho d uk,
foil through iut too ajwer aul lit
right Htu.tclc on a ailvor watah an 1 a
two-dollar bill The watch will st in I
lepairing at Wataon'a, as tiau il. b it
tho two-dollar bill is intact, wher
ever it u.lturliiittOH UmcArie.
A Texas EJitor's Diary.
Tbe editor of aToxts paptr given
tli a I'olUvio? figure Id u a ttitnui
cat iiibiu ra i J uni ul uU lifj in am
wor t tlio oju j i Ira u ia laat tu lut.i'a
I'rinter't-A loerlitcr i
linen asked to drink
Drunk
llMieted to retract
Did retract
luvitud to parties ai 1 rewp
tioua by parties Balling
for pull
Took the hint
Didn't lake tbe biat
l'lirealoueJ le bo whip;isl
li nut whip'ial
1 l.VVl
ll.lilij
416
41H
3,:m
a:)
3.3JI
I'd
V
4
1GI
Wliippod tho other Cello
lhdu't Oil in e to time
liooa proiuised whiakey, gin,
eto., if we would g after
tliein
llaen nftar them
fl.OtO
Been asked what' tho aos 3'JO.OiJ
T el 1 21
Didn't know 200,00(1
Liod ubout it UU.977
Itooo te church 2
Changed publics 3
Kipeut to cli logo stilt 5 J
Qive to obtrity tSOt
Gave for a terrier dog J5.0d
Cash on baod 1.00
Tbe mere lapse of years ia not life
To eat and drink aul ateop to be
exposed to d irknota and to light
to naoe around in the mill of habit.
and turn thought iuto aa implement
of trade this is not life, ia all this,
but a poor fi ij'-ion of ttieoiawiei
tiousuees of Immunity ie awakened,
and the sanctities still alumbor,
wbicb make it worth while to be.
Knowlenga, truth, love, beauty.
goo luoss faith aloue Oin give vitality
to the meohanisin of existeuoe. Tue
laugh of mirth that vibrato through
the heart tho tears that freshen
the dry waatoa within themuaio that
urines oliibluoo.l back tue prayer
that ealls the future near-tho hard
ship which forces ua to struggle
tbo anxiety which ends in trust are
tbe true nourishment of our natural
being James JIartiueau.
A new boarder spilt soma milk on
his oout and was fearful lost it would
leave agra aeapot. Au old atager
aaaurel him tbut there waa not the
alighteat danger, bat bo might look
for a otiulk mark wbea it dried.
Ao exebunge aay: "lua typ's
lust week made ua ay thai "tbe
uowr were not snftioioot to meat
the want ol the milkmen." etc., in
stead ol "uiilluivn."
A man at Augnta Go., na rocelva
in a doettr' bill for medietas auJ'of
viaita wrote that be wnll piy far
uu .uidljinu as I retura tbe visit. , I
fames
7 ,r&x
RailroiJ Qjldj to Haisn.
Tbe Cntholia Heine, m prints tbe
following Itiilroa l g tide for trav
elers on their way to boaven i"
1. No return ticket or eicuraion
traiua.
2. Infanta in tbe nrma of their ho
ly mother, the Catholic Church, free.
3. No doadhoads or half-faros al
lowed. 4. Travelers are particularly re
iiucated to bring nothing with them
but good works, otherwise llioy nuy
tnias tbe train or incur serious trou
ble on the frontier,
5. Clergy na well as others carry
ing tnotinv run great risks no in
surance taken on auch luggage.
t. I'asnongera are received at all
points on this route.
7. No runners, gamblers, drunk
ards, thieve J or scalp ticket pjrmit
ted. H. Travelera ahoul I bo bow.iro of
counterfeit tickets issue 1 by uiiaii
thort.ed agnuta, and also tho pick
pocket, pri lo and bouxtiug.
0. Higage ehoul t be eti'aitnl
from time to time for fo.tr of rjxl or
moths.
10. farents aro re pteate I to keep
aa eye on their e'lildren as they may
do niiiriio I away iiy lal
ponple nud
fallen angola t tliev are aU i re 1 1 nt-
ed not to e.xpoao tli iir chil l.e i t t
dauger ou tho plitfor u.
II. Young people should avoid
the dangeroita oustniu of looking out
of the widows ant aluiiiu the
scenery, a d.ist nu t p ji.iou are iu
tho air.
12. N) liy-ovnr tidteU imiud.
Ticketa non-trausfor th le.
IU. For further information apply
at the boi l o H -e, an 1 lio it fully un
derstood that fat Lit. an I wnon pini
blo good worka, aro iihodh iry uccom.
plinlimeuta fir all time wuj desire
to travel this w ay.
To ell of which the C.'irl.itl iD -it
Work ud U tlii-t c iiui -at : j
'Iu order to aotf i n u 1 ltd all,,
HHVeral Hpeeial ti iim wiil mn, known
aa the liuptibt train, Mi'thodiat. Pioh
byturiau, tO,in!i,ut, l.il i irin. It i- !
formed, I'otcli a id other trains ; the I
) input of fut) gul on all; on
the liipLiiit tt tin p.n t of the trip in
by water, but too dulin ition and!
conditions of travel uio tho b.i uo.''
RilWi lc Crop Hcporls.
Tlio truth crop ia f air lo average,
hot ho niW 1 1 with n i.'ch iriu.i n iiti
mentality .11 1 1 li i u ot 1 1 vr irt il jh
I bo hop uu 1 m lit crop,, iu li pi I
form, 1110 large, lint loirs are et
preniied that tlioro will b a f t nine
before tho uloeli in 11 or jr. tir ii i
dcali'lM, however, ktili keep thiir
npirilit, mi I t.10 fo ira iu iy bo iniilcn,
Tiio uuwnpaper clip will bo t ru
men Inn between toil an I Novem
ber, aul there aill be more ncinaora
tli 111 wheat ground, the kuowiug ouca
nuy.
The lawyer b irvent will be largely
n .veiled by gralnates from the col
logori, and fully up to tho demand.
Prime lots, however, will continue
to com.u in I go I pi'icen. .Mi I lling
to poor will be ueglucted more thuu
ever.
The boai yield will be fully up to
tho average, Tbia hits loug bceu
looked 011 as a aafo crop,
The chicken's crop ia a full one.
Indian corn (or coruel luliiu)
prouiisua well. Sovut.il loads of
wkiiky havo boou sout to the fi'ou
tier.
Hair raining on tho plaint will also
be quite lively.
The barbers' cropa are rathor
short, owiug to the receut extreme
heat.
Iron ia tho Nremost among the
at iplos. titaploa are gwuorully made
of it.
The acrenge of tears sown in small
boys trousers has lucreitned wonder
fully since the begiuuiug of vacation
Wild outs are sown bromlcait
There appears no fulliug off in this
branch of farming.
llye is running' down fait.
Clover is plentiful on the boaohes,
where people are living iu it.
The youug ladies there aro study
iog busbaudry. '
ino crop or grievances aro as
abundant as ever.
A worn 10 asked a New York edi
tor ''whether or not women in any
age bave io vented anything of oonse
quouoe,'' and the editor treats it aa
4 oouundrum aud gives it up. Ha
must forgot that, aooordiug to the
Bible, she invested Sin with a big
3 an 1 that is of considerable con-
eequnaae. it has given hundreds of
thousands of preaabers employment.
bue also invented tbe fuahion of ait-
liug up with a young man oa Sun
day nights also of great importance
to the youth of our laud.
Physio, aays ao old surgeon, is tbe
airof amuiog thepitieut while na-
ture oures the disease.
e-" wewaweaflna
A Bos toe. tappy thought is to
tors tbt adtaoo of tbe apple
eras te sesenat far
tba poor people
Ut city. Br ar
farm
-w- w'.ll tri U.
i0i.U iv V' "m''
PA., SEPTEMBER
Did You Eever.
l)id you ever see a baM-bea lod
roan who didn't have a "beautiful
bead of hair" till "that fever'' that
something or other, took it off t
Hid you ever see au old bachelor
wbo waa not forever seeking for
muriiittfa infelicities to reconcile
himaelf to bis own lonely bit f
lid you ever think how much the
great ( pic pools have to bo thank
ful for tothoHu who have taken the
trouble to separate tho gold from the
drops of their writingi f
Iid you over know an Irishman
who didn't thoroughly nnclenland
thn inyHteriea of "Forty-foives"f
I'id yott ever know a (lerman who
dil n t contrive to end every other
sentence Wlthau "already V
lid yon ever ee a aniult boy ao
wanting in opirit that ono diurnal
doubling up throughout the Rum
mer could effect a radical cure iu bia
immature fruit eating proclivities f
I 'id yoil ever ceo it young lady
who wouldn't rather bear ber Iiiih
bund pram) I by a lady iu the tiutt
town than by the lady iu tho next
bonne T
Iid you ever know a man who ha-
, hitu illy tolls al! ho kno.vi who did
not cverliintingly repent bimxolf 7 j
I'id you ever known man who
i;,lkd much of Iii:ni4,.lf who
ii i uot:
have n poor subject for bis
dulion f
couver -
Jid you cvor know n
r...l I .
tool who
wan aware that bu waa a fool f
Did yoil ever think that VOIl
miht bo
self T
thus oblivioua to
your
lid you ever see another
do the namti thing three tiuiea with
out thinking Hint you could doit
mn cli better 1
Ii I you ever know a an iudlnd
man wbae b irta fteio not partially
denied by bearing of uuothrir man
being swindled in like mnmicr f
lid you ever know a young lady
with ft new aud tienlly fitting ai-t
who tbonglit tho weather waa cold
enough for a wrap ?
I'll you ever aeon in nil with
largo feet who did not iloeluru that
bia liootn were two nies too big
that he liken then) aiy, you know ,'
Did you ever think that men are
the biggent fooln in crentioii, uud
Unit woiueu riijuv tiie Inn of letting i
tlieiu reuiiiiii utieoilKi'ioua of it f
Did you ever Heo 11 young man
who carried 11 cane who would
lint repel tLo iiitiiiualiou of lainu
IK .1.1 t
Did you ever sen n drinker or a
Niuoiiker wlm cuiil In't leave off at
any time, if ho only wanted to ?
Jhd you over think f
BcnutiLs ot Singing
Singing is ono of tho most benlth
ful 1 xemeinos iu which meu, women
. uud children can engage. Tho mud
icnl Wochoiirichrift, of St. I'etein
burg, baa an tirticlo Limnl upon ex
huuativo renenrclien made by I'rof.
MotiHHHuin during the iiutum of
wbeu examiuiug '11 aingera ringing
botweeu tho uges of nine and lilty
three. Ho bud chief weight upou
tho growth nud nbaolutu circniufer
enco of the cheat, upon tho compa
rative relalaou of tho latter to tho
Inline.-. of the anbjoi.'t, aud upon tho
pneumittoiuotric aud spiroumotria
conditiou of the eiugcr. It upear
to be an nnccrtaiuud fact from Dr.
.Vonanneiu'e oipeiunoutn that tho
relative, and even the absolute, cir
cumference of the chuit ia greater
among dingers than among thoae
who 1I0 not aiug, uu j that it lueivan -
ea with the growth uu I age uf tho
singer. 'i'Ue Profennor evuu anys
that tinging may bu placed phynic il
ly as the antithuaia of driukiug spir
ituotta li.pioin.
Daniel Webster onco said t ''The
wild (lower will bloom iu beauty ou
the tiold of buttle, and abovo the
crmhed skeleton tho destroying
augel of the pestilouco will retire
t"hen bis erraud ia done tho bar-
run hops of famine will oeaso at lust
the cloud will be prodigal of bis
bonrdod ruin but for moral dosoU
tiou there ia no revival of spring
let impudence, iutegrity and our
ruption triuu.ph over honesty and
iutullect, and our liberties uud
strength will depart forever."
"Here, Jmuei, tike these two
cukes and give the smaller ouo to
your little brother."
James examines tbe eakea careful
ly, appears undecided, and iiuully
tukea a beroio bite out of one of
them, which be passed over to bis
brother with the remark .'
"There Tommy, I've made you a
smaller ouo they were the same
size.
"I bave left all my fortune to my
wife," says tbe pbiloaophie spouse
of a Xantippn, "oa oouditiou that
ahe ahall marry again."
"What iaMiatforf"
"f wish to bo eure that there
a-il! be eouio one to regret my death
wbeu I am gone. '
At Loganaville, Wis-, Henry
Reatcmasu married tbe girl whom
Otto wanted. Otto went to tbe wed
diug with a knife, and when tbe cer
emou) was over be etabbed tha
bridegroom three times.
There waa a young lady named
Maud, wbo recently came fr"
a'oioa 1 1 bur '" a an I her 1
"hich satoti 'b' "ir1
30, 18S0. NO. 13
Ho at Oysters Are Barn.
Our bivalve, however, dioi not
apawu after the ruauuer of iiiollunka
generally. It Is, iu its own way,
vivap iroiH. It doea n it e nit ojgs.
but at the proper time sends forth
its youn ativo. The "gg aro dis
lodged from the ovaries and com
mitted to the nurnitig cure of the
gill and mantle At Hrnt each egg
Menem to bo eticlonuil in n rapHiilu
It ia of a yellowish Color, but aa iu
cub ition and development prorun
en the color change, first to giay,
then to browu, nfturwardi to a vio
let. This iaanigu Iliat tlio time of
eviction ia at hand, for nature now
ineilen Imr wilt to that ellect.
Aud
won b ifi.l little beitign tliey are ivbeii
the wiil arriven 1 1 vacate the homo
ilea. I, for wholj troops of t loin
can go gracefully 'i I without jost
ling tlilongh the mi.ieit eroliitiona
in that tiiiient upbere a drop of
water. Aa cited by F. V. I'ellowon,
in lliu the -nei!' ti Sti'tr tit, rnyn
M Dovuiiio t "Nothing ia more curi
ous than to nop, under the micro
cok, tlii'Ho liltlo tiiollunlv-t travel iu
a drop of water iu vant lunubern,
mutually avoiding one another,
cronniiig each other's track in every
direction with a wonderful rnniditv.
never touchim.' nud never iueilimr "
Tho imreiit ovnter ban. iudoud.'n
. prodigious famiiy to turn out upon
illio won t, lint when this time doe
.ii., . inn na men iiniuri ina pniiiia in I NTS, w
eonie, t iouh winfcr be ueiir. . Iin..i i r.e. 1 1 1 nn.Mi n.i. ; in ian nin u..
Lotion UIO Hlliuiuarv. mid thn
i bililtia lire evorv ou imbon,! from,
iioiiio- iiiey uro npn lortu, or
I ejected from thoHhell l iliod with
j water the v.ilvoa aro no 1 l.mly -uap-1
pod together. Kvery nu ip e uiU a
i nuiiill wliilinh cloud. Though a lit.
itlo ol tlio inilkev Hind bum it, thin
i wlntiHti cloud ii couipoHod chietly of
tlio tiny fry ; for, iu lui lu illy, tuny
aro iilinoHt Mi viHililn. ludeed, who
! hliMll count tho oyster's offspring .'
j Science, by ber oau imttboda, baa
m tdo tlio coinpiit itioti, aud ho ni.e
given ua tho nHtoun liiu' loniirauco
that u niuglo oyster, dunug ono
' npa nitig season, ouiita tno tnilliou
lOllll VMM !
i. ... ....
J .
Stopping a Kola.
Our folk., liavo got a Hi Idy of tho
Tiirioun kiud. .Shu ii u ipiear duck
and good tialureil 'ua u basket of
cliipn. Well, ntio Sunday, us wo
.were sitting ilo.vu to dinner, wo
found tiie old cat with three yonn
, giiinulUiiiH largely engaged in the
unrniuy buniuoHM under the tuhlo,
liiddy, sol 1 wo, 'take tins C it and
ber kittens and put them where wo
nli'ill never neo them more,' 11 bint of
dreadful import, but Uot uudur
blood. 'Faith, sir, that I will,'
The fulino family were removed
mid wo pioi'ccded to dino. Hy uud
by Hi. bly reentered with an iiuproi
j moil 011 her f ico that doomed lo hiiv,
I 'bo d id, 1 guess thoy uro iu safe
I keeping now.'
I 'Well, liiddy, what have you douo
j with the old cut and ber kittens .''
j "Do gor, hir. they're aafo euough.
aur;ilu mill I tho wood huiiiu
iforniust t'.ie atahlo f Well, I pit
! them nil in there, uud fnntouud tho
Idoora un l win lien. Thou, aeeing
, there was a hole benide' whero they
; might get out, I stopped that up,
too, unl si, y il aoe, they wout
trouble you any nioro."
We were a itiaiied, un l wo uto mir
dinners in peace ; afterward walked
into tbo 3 m il. wbeu we wiw tho
'diiitical' old cat aud her kittoun lit
1 Itbtu tv
(.'ailing Lii.l ly, wo Kai l :
'Did yon nuy you tuhletiod the!
kitlenn iu the wuod Iioiimo t'
Faith, uu' did, sir.'
'-Iu I stojiped tho holo f
'Yen, sir.
Well, she bad, that's a fact, but
what do you auppone alio stopped
the holo with ! S m '.u:k a acvtiou
of stove pipo in it I We thought wo
would unlit. Aud there vat ono of
, tho little imps at the
inoutli of it
licking its
just as it crawled out
paw aud looking us aaucy as
.thuu-
lur.
Things It vVould bs Fumy to See,
A patent mudiuiuo that wasn't
warruutod u dead shot for auy thing.
from corn to cousuuiptiou.
A roso without a thoru and a wo
rn mi without a fault.
A tarpauliu stout enough to keep
tho ram from soaking through the
backs of our milkman's cows.
A poor plumber and a rich news
paper man.
A piaa wbo can rap eteruul smuuli
out of his favorite buuiou while muk
tug a tight croipiot and atill keep
the air brake ou tu touguo.
The man who wasn't always able
aud williug to give an editor a few
poiuteraiu the uewapapur Dasiuese.
A doctor who hadn't bolieved all
aloug that Tanner would come out
all right.
A bald beaded man wbo never lost
bia temper.
A ciroua juat to roliove tbo monot
ony. A ohromo of the man wbo invent
ed tbe dance called tho "racket.
fVtrVaVuiM H'orM.
A wealthy man of Detroit, alone
wife aud children were ou the steam
er Marine City when it bainoliu
niMpa l With their '
.H wort'i
111-
99
Publlahr-d every Thurnilav lCvsuliisf
JArBMIAU CnOU.B, Prop'
Terms of Subacrtptirm,
TWO DOf.T.A IW PER ANXUM. Pay.
able vithin six nioiitlm, or .'.otliftiot
paid within tha year. No pa-f die
conlluunl until all arrr-nregrcs are)
riaid union at the option of Uie putn
iohcr.
Kubarrlptiona nittnlite of the conntf
PAYAIlLB 1.1 AHVANCK.
l9"Prraona liflitijr and tming papers
adilrrnurd Vn oth-m licromeaiiUcriiiera
and are liable forthp price of tbe paper
YOU WILLo 1 SORRY
f r rit that ni l Pu na wih a at
ml .to U"l Url carnlullr xt. alne Ilia
Buckeye Force Pump,
Th" Hiittkev lalhe ear? Ile-I lmpneniral
In Pinn.. Ii la e tM.Hil wilt alr rhanibrr
whirii nakK tl r-rv . t.i nMrma . Iluaaeaa
I ai't.-iH .1 in i;,r Uu, k-r Piiiiip, ant ait r
thrown i.n anr Imll Hn in ram of Si,,
Vo'i . ao n. r ..nr Harden an1 Varit, Waa
- miltiaf, null IMIKii I-,, nn.l bava a
FIRE ENGINE
"'"id? on ynur own pr'iuleaa al ao aiora taat
Ikan au or.hnarj pump. It
Cannot Freeze
InlflM w-atllrf. llllr.ttlM fa-ri,n.l AA-ia. Tha
"rH"""i fur l.-, niia. tue ris parla
lain lloel rh.iui.or. N. iuiua lo Si-oae abuait it
Iron Turbine Wind Ft.gine
la atana art linprn,mnt Iu Wma Kailao.
Call ami .rr (,,' iMi,y.. opxratlon, or tot
parllculara OiHrata
W. C,
I)RATTflf,
Od. nri.ir,
ijra iina,
Mlltliil rwtiul,, ra.
im Foplsr M Im !
The Genuine
NEW SINGEH FAMILY
Sewing Machines
"
! rP" K r"T'lir demand for the
ib.ioi .n,,7
I'i'i .
,""t m "in .-mm h i hiii,i." m
wl art.nlnrv In a lal.-K llili. "lli.l
';? '''"'" "' any prv ton ar,
'"ir -! It year vara at h rata if near
..... .-n.ii, .. ii. i, m i, j ir a,arj vuai-
n. lay ! tiie re ir
I It I: -111. Il l I.I.I AMI. K' StV'lSR lath
trn iiif .I, aiuip e.t. a ul inoal ilaralila Hewlug
S. DEI8ERT,
Jnn 'ii.tr Agent f r Xnyilar ennnty.
tX.Y(l"ni mi. I MIDDI.K-.K.KI):
Wnnl.l ynii l.o ret .rl in aoi'VO
IHilil ilil Jll . alvl a In a.i.ali.aa. AJ.
di-a, ' li 1 1 K J. V. K 1. ..(, I Ij leaaliarn, M.r,
Joiy :,'ii.ir.
RUPTURE
The
Imperial Trass
aim inn anl. Tiie a-reala a Inranllon of
lliraka' Sao our ii.intililt
Y. 1.1 IX, ilKileuatiur. N. Y
Vent Ira. J,
Julr iu, ao.iy
WATCHES,;?
loeV, NoveU
tlaa, Km. (tea tot
rin Hit.
ill.v ri io all inria ir aa t'.M ana tlaa a.
il wtnie.l. ). f . ii: Iii.k f k int., Iiuimrt
arran t U mniauturera, llarrlea Cprlom, illca
July il.Vvl.lv.
J. 0. KEMPFER,
for roill.V 1)1 111.1:4. ItKl.lG
IIOOH!, Jdaninburg, Snyder county, Tcnn'a.
JalyJi.'M.ein.
$66;
A WKKK In tour nwn town.
OilttH Irae. Nu rlk. Kaxkr. If
vmi want a I'U'lnaae at whlek
iiar- iua ol -It li.-r .ax can maka
r. hi .,y ml ilia tlma they aurii, writ for par.
il. al.ra to H. MALLLIT a, CO,. Hnriland,
aame. lunall.'ao.iT.
I OPHl til ail aV
ire I bv lha ()i
Thiik eura. In lea
li.'.a contliau by
tiiir niaaoa.
I lua i.r iiirun, uui.iui-a. lia,tniant Mpp4 to
any pari ul ilia I', s. or I'ana-laa. Pull panto
; uUra lr,e. A l.lraaa. U. N, lliNfaaaaHV,
I Kaii..ah.l lvi.j Uarrl u .-frluai, Mlok.
July '.'.,'ku.ly.
MONARCH
OF THE
is the Acknowledged
Superior of all Grain
& Grass Catting
Machinery.
Tbia Muchino has been fully endora
e l by the mont Kxpert Authori
ity, after M.at Thorough
tests, as to ils Ciit.acity
and Kxecntion, as the luubt
Wonderful Machine evx;- invtutcd.
Kamambar. onlar aa r!renmatane-a ibAnl.l
I vnu liuy a Hnaper nr M erar uuill yua bave ex
j ami .. rilK i ll i HI11S. Wiiem-aar yua
hair ul una ul thua- M ai-tiiraa In your vietalty,
t'' n-it Uli la atiiuiu It lit .rnuaKlv. :ta
, I.I hiat'it i.f liraii, Ik Irrili.na Mntainant,
1 H ! ia 1 1 1 1 1 v . ami It. Am .-nalie Aiiialmanl
. la at iv cnuil.tl m r( lia nol.l. . an nui lall la
euajiiirii I II -var all oiticra r'arm. ra "III b
1 uinru ilia 1 erer fao-nal, wa -o Diuy loraall
alalia iuii'ilil nlaiin. nl ajp rkrltf. ai
le-l Ua num'Tua ail.autaaa, l'Bt lha lilt 4 V
I'HIS la carumly tue M J.l IM K to te r.
It la aatl nai I by lha nnnt lonratanl juilnaa
i that oi vr ona-h .11 l tna II if an
a itraia rnia
in ma i mi l l ilc. ia narve'i
tile, ia harva'l 4 alia OH AH
n.v mow Kits a htMPtlta
lnate.t iahtiiat araiaia k
Thaav eol.
M. II mil'iSKH, 8riiiaKrova.
UilllKK r SMI t il, kllndlaliura.
J. 1. KiX.IAMAN, TrmaUilia,
alta .f the Trarello- Aseat,
JAVK1 I tl'LtY,
A pr.su, ltau.
I.eal.liarg,
Valuable Farm at
PRIYATESALE !
fH II E eira of George Moati, da-
L eaaaad, etar a relnatle farm, at rrlval
aala, allaala n mil buaUl
( MI0.1I.
bars, aoulalalu abt
100 Acres,
aeroaarrt4a V Wltt T ftHTOSt
Slouo Dwelling llonse, NvW
lin k Dum
- I - ' - "t ulna Hum. aailar B.at-1 hraia. au
and Alba aai'.ill.llna Val. 1.1. . Vla.
. ro-niiriava'a), ihii au4 liiual I. fill all
Uu
i i Allililianraa
t ut luriaar
FBELy)!