A.dvertlinfr Unlets.
evsry iVaradey Ivcetaf, by
of nbftorlpUoa,
tWa POlUM P1R ANNCM, Payette
wfckta til ssaetbe, r UM If not paid
. wksksa the r. . He paper dlet)Uatd
Mill tit ejrrafee nee paid aaleee at
gMepUaaaflkepwhlltker.
0abMriptkos oatsido of the count j
nTABLI 111 ADVANCE.
fry rNMl HftUf ad using pipers
fcjlneiid etkere become tubteribtr,
tad ara amble for tho pr Ua af tke paper
J P. CROKMILLER,
ATTORNIT AT LAW,
Midd'eburp, Ta.,
OftrtkU prolaeoloaal aervlcoo la tha pub
Ut. CeUrrtlone end all otker profeiifonal
tatiaeat enurneted ta bli ctr will receive
prompt amotion, f Jan I, '67if
C. SIMPSON,
e ATTORN KT AT LAW,
Svlinegrove Ta.,
ftfert kit profetitonat service la Ika pnb
It. All batlatia entrusted ta bit ear
will be promptly attended ta.
f Jaa. lV67tf
J.
KNIGHT,
ATTORN ET AT LAW,
Frecbunr Fa..
Offers kit Professional service ta lb pub
lit. Ail eaaiataa entrusted ta bio ear
Vlll bt promptly atttadtd to.
Jta K.Wtf
WM. VAN tiEZER, 7"
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Lewiiburg Ta.,
Offers kit proftstionat itrvioe ta .it pub.
lit. Colleetlone and all atbtr Piefeton
tl batlneti entrutted la bia aara "111 rt
Mirt prompt attention.
GEO. F. MILLER,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Lewisbunr l'a.
Off" kit Proftnional lervlce la tut pub
lie. CoUtatloai and all otktr profession
til butinttt tntrailtd to bit cart will re
ceive prompt atttnlloa. Jan. t, 'W7tf.
T"m7lI NN, A . ifD 1 LL,
tl , (ftaeeestort to J. P. ft J, tf. Llaa.)
ATTORN KY8 AT LAW, Lewlsburg, Ta.
Oer tktlr profteiioaal eervlcoi to tht
public. Collections and all other pro
ftttiOBsl bualaeii aalrutttd to ibclr aart
will rtetWtproniptatltaiion.f Jan. 3, '07if
ftllARLKS HOWKR, "
V ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Heliimgrore Fa.,
Offers bit profettitnal ttrTiett to tkt pub
lit Collectlont and all oibtr professions
bsiiotse tntrotttd to bit curt will rt
ttivt proaipt alttnilon. Offiet two door
tortk of tkt Keytloae llottl. Jtn 6, '0
C M U EL JA LLEM A S,
tj ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Selinngrove Tn
OITrrt bit rroftstlonit trrrlert to thr
fublie. All butinttt intrust rd to bit
cut will bt promptly alteudrd to. Col
ltdiont madt In all pana of tha Stata.
lit taa apeak tha Kngllah and Otrman
lintutga fluently. Office bttwttn llall't
nil the rMl offiet.
LN. MYERS,
ITMMT t COCKSELOt IT L1W
Midtflcburg Soyder County Penn'a
OBce a few doort Writ of tht P. 0. on
Xiin alratt. Contultalion In Englith
kid Con tn rcurcit. fcp.'t'il
T C. BUCI1ER,
V ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Lcniiiburg Tn.,
Oftrt kit proftttional ttiticrtta tkt pub
lit. All butinett tnlrutttd to bit care
-till bt promptly atttndtd to.
Jtn. 8. '671
GKOVtll ft BAKER
SEWING MACniNE.
ft-noni in need af a good and I'urtblt
fitwing Matbint tan ba aeeommodtted at
rtuontbl priett by tilling oa on Sam
mi Facit, Agent, Stlingrot.
Jan. zt, to
DK. J. Y. SHIN DEL,
8 L' HO EON AND PHYSICIAN.
Middlcburg Ft.,
Offtn kit profeitlonal lerylttt to tbt elt-
luni or MiUdleburg and vicinity.
aiarta xi, o
F..VAN BUSKIRK,
ll'RQICAL ft MECHANICAL DENTIST
StlinfgroTt Penn
JOUN K. UUOIIES, Esq.,
JUSTICE OF THE FEACB,
Feon Twp., Snjder Co. F
V h. WAONEB, Eq.,
A JiBtttK OtT TIIIE P8ACE.
JtoiMn Towa8hIp,gBTdtr Co. Fa.,
Will itteod la all butintta tntruittd to
til aara and oa tka moat raaaoaahlt
tttmt. March 12, t)Slf
DRJ- V KANAWEL,
uDvifMia ii-n ititArnii
vcaircTliie, aiyait5r a
Offtn kla Maftatloaal lerrleet to Ika
public. tV83tf
DRATBILL Co..
X WaoLitAka JliALtai u
wood autd willow, vaei
Oil Clotki, Window Skadaa, Broomt, Mall,
Braihta Cotton Lap, drain Higt, riy
Beta. Buakala. Twlaaa. Wloka. At.
MI45 North Tklrd Straad, Pbiladalpkia.
o. T, "07
1? A. BOYEIt, Jr. .
AUCTIONEER.
Fraabnrg Snyder Co. Pa.,
Matt rtipeottully offara kla ttrrloei lo
ka publia at Yeadua Cryar aad Auction-
Haying bad a larga experience, i
'tltonldant that I eaa reader perfect
ttltfactiaa to my employee.
I.JIB. V, VII
BT. PARKS,
nivi r ir a
riKTmre TT1RT.
MIDDLEBCBO, SNYDER COVNTY, Pa
OBat la Coart Uatua, Sept.16, '67tf
LWJS BRKiJEh-S EONS
tobaccowakehouSe
No. 322 N. THIRDS
PUILADSLPUtA.
M
IRC U ANT HOUSE.
U. U. MAVDERBACII raor iL
v , J. C. NIPK, Clerk
-'. tu a 415 Rorth Third Slreel.
I'kiladtlpkla
M
ILUR ELDER
What baav aht
ltkMrt, Blaak book Maaafaturert
HVMt9MI DWI laCl0 '
wl"?f!S, WrFP'. kMf. Car-
lM2G Herth Tklrd atraei akeM Xatt
I rhilaatlrkU fa.
if
VOL. 9.
D. C. CLARKE,
Import tr aad Jobber In
N0TMNS !
31ovf,
IIoMtor,
Nmnll AVtaren,
WHITE GOODS!
Trimmings, Ribbons,&c.
AND
FANCY WOOLENS
lib Great "Vnrioty I
37 North Third 8trer;
-8tf) rmiADiiruu'.
pETER SPECUT,
Retneei fully inform! tht ciliitnt of this
placa aad eurronnding country that ka it
bow prepirea t manufacture ta srder, aad
kit lor atla,
Buggies.
Carriages,
Sulkies,
Sleighs,
Wagons.
At., ai cheap, aad a lilltt cheaper, tkan
try can bt purcbsied tlsewbert.
of vehicles of various kiodt promptly at-
inuu is. a intra or tnt nubile patron
tgt iitolioltcd.
PETER 8FECHT.
Middlebttrg, Mty 8, 171, tf.
SLIFKR'S
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL
Furniture Warerooms,
0. 06 NORTH SECOND STREET,
(below Arch, Wttt Sidt.)
Factory and Mhvltiah Department,
1003 Nortb 6th 8lrett, abort Oxford,
a-8tf PHILADELPHIA.
y V. UAXSKLL,
trccaiioa to crfi- ftcaaw.
C&OCTUUIT Aim
OXiABBWA&S,
X. SI Korth Fourth Street,
PHILAUELritlA.
Original Paekigtt Couttantly on Hand.
StprtMnttd by TllEO'3 SWIffEFOBD.
FIRM
AND
NEW GOODS!
R.Q. HETZEL. P.S. McCULLOUOU
BZTZZZ V XkTcOTJZXOUOIZ,
(SUCCESSORS TO JOHN HETZEL.,)
SEALERS lit ALL KINDS Of
MERCI1 A.IISE!
HICnEST CASH TRICE
PAID FOR
FLOUR, GRAIN,
RAIL ROAD TIES,
&o , iiC.,
CHAPMAN,
SNTDES COVNTY, PENNSYLVANIA.
Marek IT, ltra-tf.
Q.REAT EXCITEMENT IN
BANNERVILLE.
j NEWOOODS. j
HELFRICH & BROWER
With to inform Ike tliiieoi af Biantrvlllt
and eloinlty tkat Ibay kava opened a new
Hock of goodi, and will keep eonitanlly on
nand a lull aiiortmtnt or
:"lVHM8Qo6lii:
Conilillagof ALPACAfl.P0PLIN8,PLADS,
LtoTKKn; DELAll
I'STREH; DELA1NE8,
CALICOES, ta,
CIotliM &Casslmcre8
HATS and CAPS, BOOTS and SHOES.
lOROCERLKS.:
HARDWiRX AND QUEENSWARE
SALT AND FISH,
And la thai everything ntailly kept in a
Irtl claa eoualry atora. All of whloh we
offer at greatly reduced prlcta, tot Caah ar
Country Praouoa.
llavlag kad large xparleaeo la tke
butineat, we flatter ouretlvtt that w
pleaaa aad aatiafy all our euitomere;
Hoping by ttriet attentloa ta builaait
aad a deiire le pltate all. lo merit a liberal
bate af publia Miroaaga. Our motto I
t ''Qxiik Salei aad SvmU iVoAa."
We aak at lea at tkat tka cabll examlae
aar eteeh aad rlet kefor parohaalag
tieawi-re, at wt atwiy taew our gooai
njiia liMiure,
MELFRICfl U BOWER,
i BiaaattUl Jaae It, U70. i
MIDDLEBURG
n 1 1) u i I'ootr v.
XT LITTLB DAUOQTXR'B
SHOES.
Twe little, ronik worn, etubbed thott,
A plump, well-trodden pair
Wllk ttrlptd i locklngt thrutl within,
m juri uetiut my cuair.
Of ttry homely fabric tkey j
A kolt It la etch ! , .
Tkey might hive coil, when they wtrt ntw,
pj tenn or io.
And yet tkli little, worn-out pair
II richer far ta .
Thin all tkt Jeweled taadale are
ur tittera luxury.
Tkit mottled leither, eratked with ate.
laaatln in my (right ( -Tbrto
littla ttrnlihed buttoat ihint
With all a dlamoud I light.
Starch through Ibt wardrobe of tbt world '
You aba.ll not And m a there,
So i nraly made, ao richly wrought,
wv ivriuue a pair.
And wky t Became tkey tell of ker
iow tound ailcep aboa,
Wbota form I moving beiuty.
"ee atari it Dealing lovt.
Tkey tell mt of ker nerry Uugk
, woote-ntaritd gltt ;
lirgtnikntit, her loaoctnet,
tr luioui puriiy.
Th.te." " lk, h,r ring Kepi
w ill long demmd my aid i
It very roughly laid.
r u oiu roau or bumin lira
High bill and iwift dciocnli abound ;
And en io rvdi a way,
Feet rhaa can wear I hoe corerinai
would turtlya go itray.
Sweet iililo irl! bt mint tht link
Thy feeble ttepi to tend i
To baiby guide, they councollor,
'"7 piaymaie and my fritnd.
And when my Hep thill faltering grow,
And Ihint bt Arm aud itrong,
The ttreogtb thall lead my loitering agt,
In cheerful peace tlong.
Somclhlna; More tkan at Clerk.
Laura Carl if I Hood where acarcely
a balf-dosoo wotuco io the room would
bavo darod to ttand, diwctly under
tbt Haze of the chandelier, bor checks
Kiiiurua vruu oxctietoenr, ncr cyca
orlgbl as the jewels which flashed io
hor brown hair, her heavy garoot satto
robes iwceDtair asriinjt the mn.tin
Ir.ssofher cousio, Katy Carlisle
who was difft:ront from ber ai tbt
leader twilight from the brilliant noon
dy. Yet sweet Katy lo't bat simple dress
with eyee blue At turouoiao suih
which bound bertlcader waist, wat no
loss attractive than ber biuzhty cous-
n, and to thought Floyd Laureoco. as
ho rttood chsttinir wiLh tbam Ti
a w
was Dot lack of beauty which otteo
east Katy Id the shade but Katy
was poor, aad a goldon bait Is eooooit
sosppod at, yon know I
"Oh, I do think s) much of a cood
old family P said Laura, who, bavlog
nearu mat tlojd Laureneo belonged
to ooo of the " F. F. V.'s," deiired to
ereato aa impression. " Vh I
wouldn't look at a prlaco if he did not
oome of a good stook."
"Princes are generally supposed to
be so Laura. laughed Katy, a mis
cbeviou twinkle coming ioto bo eyes
as she met Floyd's glance.
" Ob, of course I meant if they could
do otherwise,' said Laura, reddening
with vexation at her mistake. Aad
then, glad to change the coororsation,
she turned to Mary West and began
to iuquiro about soma beautiful Uce
she wu wearing.
"I got it at Warborton's," said
Mary, smiling.
" Ob, I must get some to-morrow, if
there is a yard left,' eried Laura. " I
shall be suro to gp there right away.
ies, that ia our walls,-Mr. Lanreoee,"
and taking his arm, she moved grsce-
fully away.
Horn yes tie'y are pretty girls
the aweettst girls I saw to-night,''
soliloquised Floyd Laurence, in bis
owa room, that night. " But I won-
der if Miss Laura would smile so
sweetly if she thought I hadnt a pea-
ay io my pooket r Love's winge, you
see, wlen tipped with gold, are beau
tiful to view I Coofoaod the money I
It makes oos suspicions of everybody I
But I do wish there wu away to test
the truth sometimes.
He sighed, lit fl Cigar, aodstt dowa
to smoke away bit faeclos. Suddenly
he sprang up, lung lbs cigar Into the
grate, and began to pace the room.
"By Jove I I've got an Ideal"
said ho. " Mlsa Laura is going lo
Warborton's to-morrow; now War
burton bsppons to be a friend of mine
I think I'll go tbore, too I He'll
enter Into the thing, I'm euro j and I've
a faney to mo if Floyd Laurence be
biad counter, and Floyd Laureneo
la Mrs, Howard's ball room, etaad just
the same In Miss Curliele's osttaaatien.
Uelgbo I I wonder If tkat pretty, bine
eyed oowsJo will eome with her f
After dirfneraeit dly,. Miss Car
Halo's tartlage stepped belora Warbur
0 IPti)
SNYDER CO. PA.. J ULY 13, 187 L
'on s store, and the haughty beauty
sod hor cousin Katy entered tho wide
doors, sod crcsioJ ovor to tho lace
counter.
Show me yonr finest Mechlin," be'
gan Miss Laura, but stopped in utter
amassment, as she recognised in the
polite clerk hor partner of the nighl
before. "Mr Laurence!" she ex.
elntmel.
Aod Ksty, opened her blue eyes
very wide, repeated the exclamation,
. " Mr. Laurence ! wo didn't expect
to vee you here I"
" Why not P akod our hero, smil
ingly. " We were not aware we did not
know that you ' began Mis Lnura
haughtily, and Floyd finished her sen
tence. "That I was Mr. Wsrburton's
clerk? Oh, yes, Miss Carlislof
What style oflsce would you pre
fer V
Tbsak you I do net earo about
ths lace lo-dpy. Katy, como, we are
in haste."
Shi turned anJ swept hor silken
robee swsy, but Katy, hor cheeks seer
let, lingcredto give one little wbito
hand to Floyd Laurence, and say cor
dially, "Mr. Lauronoo, remember, you
promisod, last night, tocsll upon mo.
I that Is, we shall expect you."
And Floyd, as be veatuiod lightly
to press that tiny littlo hand, said,
fervently,
Tutuk you, I shall surely como I"
"The ideal The vory idea!" cried
Laura CitlUle, indignantly, when
they were in their carriage. " What
docs Mrs. Howard menu by introduo
tog such persons to her guests? I'll
never forgive bor ! To think I should
have danced with a low clerk!'
" Wby, Laura, I am sure he is a
perfect gentleman," said Katy.
Gentleman, indeed! A common
clerk prcWnd to be a gentlemen, aod
aspiro to good sooicty ! Ksty Carlisle,
you are a littlo idiot !"
ii i.i .. .
iii i iiks mm as runeb now
ss I did last night," said Kty, with
souio spirit.
"Very wullj indulgo your low
tastes, if you like," returned Laura
scornfully. I shall cortaiuly not cul
tivate bis aeqaaloianee."
A few evenings later, as Lsura stood
riLed like a prioccsi, in JuJge GIjv
er's elegant 8iui,i-,h aaw Floyd Lau
rence making his way toward ber.
"He here! Are people all
gone
mad r But ha won't dare to add rest
me !" she thought, her bright cheek
reddening eagerly.
But hojriVt dare, coming up to her
with a frank, gentlemanly groelin.
Laura looked full into hi eyes, with
sgluoco which might have turned him
to stone, bed her power eqisllod her
will, and turned away in haughty si
lence.
Floyd's handsome face did not
even flush; he only elevated b'u fine
eyebrows, while a ourious smile curv
ed his month, just ss a soft voice be-
bind bim said, impulsivoly.
"Mr. Laurence, won't you shake
hands with me ?'
Ho turned quickly, and then, Indeed
bis face did flash and his eyes kindle ,
as ha once more held the soft, little
bsnd he nad once hold before, with a
straoge thrill iu bis breast.
" Are you brave enough to acknowl
edge tho aoqnaintaneo of a mere elork
in this place, Miss Carlisle f" he
asked.
" I don't care whether you are a
'dork' or a king," said Ksty innocent
ly, smiling-op ia bis faoe. " Y'ou are
a gentleman, and I like you."
14 Thank you," said Laurence, draw
ing her arm witbin bis own. " Then
you will promenade with me for a taw
moments.''
" Yok, for I wish lo remind you that
you have not kept your promise to
can on us'
But I will," answered Floyd Lau
rence. Aod as ho looked down into
her blue eyes, there was something in
bis gase which set Katy Corliss's lea
der, little heart all of a flutter.
" Well, Lsureuoe called at Mr. Car
lisle's hsndsomo mansion, aud pur
posely asktd for " lbs young lnlt'e$."
Laura seorofully deolioed lo go down
stairs, but told Ksty that bsr " aristo
crstio" acquaintance was waiting to
ass her, and Katy hastened to reoeive
him, and entertained bim to the best
of ber ability.
She succeeded so well that Floyd
Laureneo came agaia. And oa tbia
second call, ooooventienal littlo
Katy, who wu alooo in the parlor,
opened tae door for bias hersolf, aad
mat him with fraak weloome.
41 So. then, ton still Ilka me ?' ak-
e4 Floyd, is bs stood lo tho oeatrt of
lie gnat parlor, with tht Utile ban i
she bad given bim clasped botween
bis oro.
" Yes I I think so'sn'd Katy
fluttering!, the roses coming snd go
ing nervously on her fuir cheek.
" But 'liking' won't satisfy me sny
longer," said Floyd, with a rsro smiTo.
"I want simcthiog else something
tar warmer, sweeter, stronger I Is it
in your dear, little heart to rive Katv
darling f "
And Katy, giving him a shy dance
as he bont down and took hor la his
arms, whispered agaiu.
" Yes I think so !"
" It seems Katy is ibuot to be nnr-
ried," said old Judge Howard, mcot-
totf Iaura, a low weeks later.
" Yet, little, foolitib thinit !" return.
ed Laura, coloring with vexation.
" I'm sure I said all I oould to pre
vent il.'
To prevent it 1 What Do-sib'o oh.
jootiou could you make to Flovd Lau
reneo 1' atked her old friend.
" Wby Judho Howard I think of
her throwing hersolf sway fjr a com
mon clerk V
" My dear girl, I don't know what
you are talking about." said .In,!.,.
Howard, with a perplexed Ijok.
" lou surely koow that Mr I
is nothing moro than a clerk ia War-
burlon'a stort 1
"My dear, youo2 ladv. I mrnl
know that ho Is something moro thua
a clot k Tor any one. He ie the only
son of the Lsurooee of V'!Mi;.
Havon't you heard of the great Lau
rence estates J"
" Judgo Howard ! you must be mis
taken ;
" I am not, my child. I, mysolf,
hold some twenty thousand dollars or
his money In trust. His fatb;r was
my friend in boyhood. Your Katy ii
fortunate, Laura, for Fbyd Laurence
is a match for any oue to bo nr,.,i
of."
i
" Is ho really so wealthy
sistod Lsura doubtingly.
por-
no ins sn moome of at least fif
teen thousand dollars a year. I apesk
from certainty my dear girl, not from
here-say."
Poor Lsura! Sho tried to conceal
the bittor disappointment rankling in
i i ... .
r neon, cat it was hard to know that
tho golden prize bad slippoi from hor
grasp, sad only through her own
fault!
Si'
.evertUeloss, sbo put the best face
( possible o the mutter, was vere af
fectionate to Katv. anil irtrf i ail taw it k
Floyd, and very fond, loor afW. of
..uitiiig, witu aiuuicu carieseness, on
every possible occasion, to "my dear
cousin, Mrs. Floyd Lsurence.
..f.,p.tn- :,L .... 1 I
"It Slight Have liven."
Wo bear a great deal about tbis
phrabe, "it might have been."
Sentimental youths and love lorn
lassies, growling, old baohelors, and
"picky," old spinsters, all join in Otis
contemptible whine, "It might bavo
beeu ;" but the words bavo another
meaning well worth looking for, too.
Instesd of mourning over I be irre
trievable pest, and sighing, "It might
bsvo been better," we should do a
far more sensible thing if wo picked
op our crumbs, and said, "It might
bavs boon tcoric.''
Taking time through, tbore isn't
more csuso for sorrow than joy, aod
all bitter complaining only briogs us
so much the more speedily to that
plaoo which is tho qaintetsaoce of ev
erthiog doleful.
It is not very likely that aoy of us
will be called to eaduro moro than
good old Job. When earthly blots,
logs were taken from bim, he did not
raise a groat hue and ery, but pa
tiently uid, "Tho Lord gavo, and
the Lord bath taken away, blessed bo
the name of the Lord."
If ever we are so happy as to get
to Heaven, then we may aee that
rouoh which we call trouble and sor
row now, are really the greatest bless
ings; snd our utter ruin might hsve
been wrought in soul and body if eir
cumstsnees bid been as we so often
blindly wished they might have been.
Tben shall we see that, of all tho
glud words of tongue or poo, the
gladdest are tltote, "It wight have
been."
Many of the novels of theso days,
both English aud American, are worse
than sensational they art absolutely
wloked.snd Ibsir tendeney is to corrupt
the minds of tho young, male aad fe
male. Instead of refining, they render
their readore vulgar, sensual aud do
praved. Parents, wbo regard the
welfare' eftkoir children, aad wish to
see lasts' gtow op useful membera of
society, should banish alt pestiferous
wotcb frtm their libraries and hemes.
I X
Three Jolly Husband.
Ehree Jully hcsbinds by the numo
cf Tim Watson, Joe Brown, snd Bill
Walker, sit late one evening drinking
at the village tavern, until, being pretty
well corned, tho agreed that each
one on returning home should do the
first thing his wifo told him, in default
of whieh ho should, the next morning,
pay the bill. They ibsn separated for
the night, engaging to meet the next
morning snd givoj an honest sceouot
oriheir proceeding! at homo, so far as
hey related to the bill. Tbo noxt
morning Walker sod Brown were early
at their posts, but it wat sometime be
fore Watson undo his apnearsnco.
Walker begao Gist : "You sc when
I entered my boase the raudlo wan
out, and the fire giving but a glim
moring of light, I came near walking
aooidentally into a pot of batter that
lbs pancakes wore to bo niadu of the
noxt morning. My wifo, who was
dreadfully out of homor at sitting up
so lato, said to me sarcastically, "Bill,
do you put your loot in tho butter."
"Just as you say, Maggie," said I, aad
without the least hesitation I put my
foot in the pot of bailor, and went io
bod." Next, Joe Brown told his story:
"My wire bid already retiroJ ia our
usual sleepiug room whiou sdjjias tho
kitcfien, and the door of which was
ajar; not being able to navigate you
xuow perlectly, I mado a drosdful
clattering among the iho bousohold
furniture, and my wife, in no vory
pleastot tono bawled out, "Do break
the porridge pot." No sooner said
than done, I seized hold of tho tail of
the pot, and striking K sgaiast the
chimney jamb, broke it into a hundred
pieces. Aftor tbis exploit I retired to
rest, snd got a curtain lecture all night
for my pains." It was now Tim Wat
son's turn to give an aooouut of him
aclf, which was ss follows : "My wife
gave me tbo most unlucky command
in the world, for I was blundering up
stairs in the dark, when she criod out:
"Do break your neck, do, Tim." ' I'll
be cussed if I do, Kate' said I, as I
pickeJ myself up, "I will sooner pay
the bill, aod so, landlord, here's tbo
cash for you, snd tbis is the last time
I'll ever risk flvo dollars on tho com
mand ol my wife."
Didn't run out Well.
A young husband in Baltimore is In
a nico picklo. From some cause bo
coocluded his wife did not love bim ss
well as sbo should, aod he determined
to lest that e lcm eat. Accordingly he
wrote a note, tolliog her that be was
goioS' to drown himself in the canal,
and that before the road the contents
of that note his spirit would be hov -
ering over her, obwrvioi; how she toot
bisdostb. The would Lo suicide on-! mo(t huu next day at a pit where dsgs
trusted the note to ft small boy, buttbejaod rats were brought for saoguiosry
boy mistook the direction snd carried i oontest, and try him with a rat. Next
the nolo to a noxt door neighbor of his
wife. Not liking to oommuoicate the
dreadful intelligence to the unlucky
woman, the lady handed the note to an
ofllocr, with instruetioos, if possible, to
prevent the rash set. The officer harried
off, sod sure ecough, found tbo men on
Ibe bank of the great canal. Rushing
op the officer seised the unlucky hus
band, and marched him otT to the sta
tion house, notwithstanding his pro
teststioos that it was all a joks and
that he did not intend to commit sui
cide, etc. After the incarceration of
tbo hunbaod, the note was handsd to
the wife, with the information that he
bad been saved. After upbraidiog
the officer for oot letting the "darned
fool drown himself,'" the wife msde a
charge of lunacy tgainst bim, and be
barely escaped being plaoed in tbo
asylum.
Girts is Chickens A correspon
dent to loo l-iociaoau Uuelte gives
the following as a cure for gapes in
chickens. The remedy seems so sim
ple tbst we give it for the benefit of
oar readers :
I'ut ooo tablespoonful of wheat into
a vial and pour on spirits turpentine to
cover the wheat, and keep the vial
corked. Whenever vou Bad svod-
toms of gspes in s chick, open it
mouth aad compel it to swallow one or
two grains of saturated wheat. Re
peat the Operation morning snd even
ing, ss beg as may bo seeded, sad if
Commenced ia time, will curs nine
times out of ten. The above bu been
a success in my bands and that Of ma-
ay neighbors.
We have seen it sUis'd that fcwls
effected with gapes sou Id ha eared by
forelng dowa Iho windpipe a little
sweet oil through a small glass ey
rtsge. Tbe oil kills tht worst tod
relieves tho bird at 6aos. A trial tt
either of the above alsaple re mediae
eannoi prove h artful to tht fowl, If it
does sol effect a tote;
Oa e eel a m fl o year
One-half eolunia. eat year.
S40.00.
so.no.
One-fourth ealnmn, one year,
One square (10 lines) tnt Insertion
Kvery additional IneertloS
ProfeteioAal Snd Rmlueat etrdi ef
not m6rt than Ave linet, per year.
Auditor, Eietutor. Admialttraior
nd Attignei Rolloei
Editorltl nollott per lint
All advtrtltemeats for shorter
ls.no.
76.
W.
,0G
ISO.
1ft.
period
loan ons year ara savehla x it,, ii..
they art ardered, and if Sot paid tbt per.
on ordering thtm will bt held relpaotible
for ibt money.
A C'urloMs Case.
Tho citixens of Broadway, Warren
county, N. J., and the residents or tho
neighborlngtownshlps hsvebteo grestly
excited over a curious phenomenon.
On Mouday morning, tho 19th nit ,
bout 10 o'clock, ss a canil boat from
Phillipsburg wis passing over tho two
mile level, betwoon New Villairo end
lireadwsy, tbo driver 6f the boat hoard
no nnnsdal rambling noise like that of
muflfed thunder, nnd looking ahead
he saw in tho eansl, about a hundred
yards alnad, tho water seething and
ooiiing liko a whirlpool. Though atriok-
on with fear he crossed in ssfoty the
langerous eddy, but had not gone rasny
yards when ha was startled by an uo
usual noise, and turning, discovered
that the bottom of the cnoal ha I given
swuy, and in a short lime bis boat was
on dry land. Tho water in the canal
fur a distance of a mile sn l a ba'f had
in a wonderfully sho.t time disap
peared in a cavity, of which thi di
mensions of tho opening were 40 by 20
feet.
Careful investigations were made of
the neighboring sttxsms and the sur
roundiogj country, but no outlet lor
tho water was discovered.
Aboro the canal, in tho wood, three
apertures wore male, avenging in
diamctro 20 by 25 foot. In thoso holes
ortsvitits rocks and trees woro swal
lowed up. The tops of tho trees wero
visible to tho eye, whilo tho trunk
were entirely buried in the earth.
Fissures wero malo on the surface bo
low tho canal, to the extont of hun
dreds of yards.
Laborers have been oonstsotly so
geged in filling up the hole la the
I L... . I .
viu.ii, uji ut yn uave mnao no appa
rent, progress. Ono hundred bundles
of corn stalks, together with branchos
of trees, wero thrown iuto tho cavity
and immediately disappeared from
sight.
The level whero this occurred it
about s mile and a half long and in
fifteen minutes after th? first noUe
was heard that eulirs section was dry
and forty boats were loft sticking ia
tho mud.
The eause of this phonomooon is ft
mystery which only sn Agasiii can
attempt to explsin.
A oemtlemax, witty sod agreeable,
b.ut with a singular impediment cf
speech, bed it in his heart to becomo
the possessor of a pure black aod-taa
terrier, for which bs wss wilting to
pay a liberal price. A superior littlo
brnto was soon brought to bim by a
dog-fancier, who demanded for It the
modest price of fifty dollars. Not be
ing dipojd to check for tbst figure
1 unless sure that tho do- was a good
rafter, ho proposed it the party to
day our frleod, having obtained a Grst
class rat of lbs "wharf" species, bad
bim conveyed to the thoatre of
strife. Both were at the ssme timo
thrown ioto the arena. After having
been pursued for a moment tht rat
turned, made s spring st the terrier,
L .kt . e a a, . .
caugni mm oa tne up, ana nnae liiru
bowl with pain. Io short, he had bim.
Our purchaser turned and said, ' I
d d-oo't think your d d dog's g-good
for anything. 1) d-d on 't you want to
b-buy my r-rat?"
Bi-siNids-Lifti Usns Old SUrkt,
no Tionest German bad a farm about
three miles from tbe village of Nap
les, on tha Illinois river, and, like
most of bis countrymen wbo sjttls ia
this country, wss great ea garden
truck, butter, otgo, etc., whleU be
carried regularly to the towa to sell
or barter for family supplies. One
dsy he came io as usual, aud Fstsr
Critser, the storekeeper, ibinkisg to
gets "saw'' ou tbe old roan, said:
" Well, Stacks, got tune moro
" isb, I hsve a row." ,
"I ps id you a bit for the last,'
said Critser, "bat we hsve had aeon-
veation of the'storrttepers, and they
bavo tesolved to give onlj tta cents
in future."
"Y-e-b. Yell mine hens they have
a moetia', replied Stark, " aft day
resolves wot dey won't wear 'emselves
out layin' egg for leu as fuafteesi
sbents!" Aad tho eld saaa stalked
off, leaving Fete to stand the laugh of
the crowd.
. .
" So you're going to Alaska, are
yon, yosiag man ?" said aa old fox
banter to a Philadelphia youth, add-"
iog : " Toa must he careful how yen
kill tho wUfc el a native ef thai ooeaS
try, for ao Wftt waa ever knee) te he
lei tf fret sack aa eechieot foe leasj
tbaa twe weelea blasketa to the he-
reared hoabaad tad ltd ft the get