The Bloomfield times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, August 25, 1874, Page 3, Image 3

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    I)c imc0, Ncid Blaomftclb, J!)a,
TIIlS BEST
18 THE
O II EAPENT!
' THE " SINGER"
SEWING MACHINE.
SINGER 4f
BINGER irt?5JL,-.
SINGER Cr Tm
SINGER ; - JA'O
BINGER
SINGER I ?fif j
SINGER J J .
SINGER 1. Z$, ,
SINGER ifUXsK'
SINGER tfZPI W
SINGER -iti!-
MACHINE.
MACHINE.
MACHINE.
MACHINE,
i MACHINE.
MACHINE.
MACHINE.
V MACHINE.
MACHINE.
, MACHINE.
' MACHINE.
rVHE BINOEtt SEWING MACHINE Is so well
X known that It Is not necessary to mention
IT8 MANY GOOD QUALITIES!
Every one who has any knowledge ol Sewing
Machines knows that It will do
EVERY KIND OF WORK
In a Superior Manner.
The Machine Is easily kept In order: easily op
-erated, and Is acknowledged Dy all, to be the
The Best Machine in the World !
Persons wanting a Sewing Machine should ex
amine the Singer, before purchasing. They can
be bought on the
Most liberal Terms
OF
I . iriOKTIMEIt,
NEW BLOOM FIELD, PA.,
General Agent for Terry Co.
WOr of the following Local Agents on the
-same terms:
A. F. KEIM,
Newport, Pa.
- JAS. P. LONO,
DuDcannon, Pa.
3STEW ""OZEtlC
CONTINENT AL
WW
Life Insurance Company,
OP NEW YORK,
8 TItlCTL Y M UT UAL I
ISSUES all the new forms of Policies, and pre.
sents as favorable terms an any company In tbe
United States.
Thirty days' grace allowed on each payment, and
the policy held good during that time.
Polloles Issued by this Company are non-forfeit
ure.
Mo extra charges are made for traveling permit.
Policy-holders share In the annual proms of the
Company, and have a voice in the elections and
management u t lie Company.
No policy or medical feecharged.
L. W. FROST, President.
M. B. Wikkoop, Vice l'res't.
4. P.HOoers, Bec'y.
J. F. EATON,
General Agent,
No. 6 North Third Street,
College Block, narrlsburg, Pa.
THOS. H. MILLIGAN,
6 2 ly H pedal Agent for Newport
B- T. BABBITT'S
Pure Concentrated Potash,
OR LYE,
Of double the strength of any other
Hponlfylnff BubHtonco.
I have recently perfected a new method of
packing mv I'otash, or Lye, and am how pack
ing It only In Balls, the coating of which will spon
Ify, and does not Injure tiie soup. It Is packed l:i
Txixes containing 24 lud 48 one lb. Halls, and in no
oilier way. Directions In English and ierman
for making hard and soft soup will, tills l'olanh
aucozipany t" chpackage.
B. T. BABBITT,
lo8inh. 64 to M WASHINGTON St.'. N. Y
Notice.
The Interest of Win. II. Miller, of Carlisle, In
lie l'erry County Bank, ot Nnonalcr, Juukin Si
)o.. has lieeii purchased by W. A. Kpousler & B.
F. Juukin, and f rem this date April auli, ln7,aald
Miller Is 110 longer a member of said tlrm, but the
II r m consists of W. A. Himnsler tk B. K. Juukin.
Banking as Sponsler Juukin & Co.. who will con.
tinue to do business III the same mode and man
ner as has been done hitherto, Willi the full assur
ance that our course has met the approbation and
thus valued the coundence of the people.
W. A. ftl'ONHLEH.
B. F. Jl'NKIN.
.April 20, 1874.
J!
ENIGMA DEPARTMENT,
All eontrllmtlong to this department must
be accompanied by the correct answer.
Problem.
A man sold a horse for $50, thereby gaining
as many per cent, as the horse cost dollars.
How much did the horse cost f
AUNT SUSIE'S BEAU.
' IRLS," said aunt Susy Blake, lay.
VJX ing down her knitting-work with
a disturbed look upon her good-humored
faoo ; " do keep still a minute I my head
whirls round like a cider-mill with your
continual clatteration 1 Silas says, that
folks out to Washington want to diskivor
evcrlastin' motion-find something or 'noth
er that'll keep a-goin' forever, and never
want to stop and it seems to me as if
you'd all got it I What is the matter,
now ?"
"Aunt Susy," said Nell Gorham, the
youngest of the gay trio of girls, " we were
disputing about your affairs t Mag Reed
says that you must have had a beau some
time, and got disappointed in him, or
something of the kind ; Kate Smith says
4 fudgo' to everything Mag and I propose ;
and now, aunt Susy, if there has been any
romance about your life, be kind enough to
enlighten us, just to tease Kate Smith, if
nothing more !"
"Yes, do, aunt I" put in Margaret Reed,
from the corner of the oosy loungo, "tell
us about your beau, and I'll give you this
handkerchief the moment I've put the last
stitch of embroidery on it I Please, aunt
Susy, tell us all the courtship !" Margaret
was curious in suoh matters.
Aunt Susy looked somewhat annoyed,
but seeing it was no use to oppose the re
quest of the girls, she settled herself back
in her rocking-chair, took up her inter
minable stocking again, gave a preparatory
hem ! and began.
" Thirty years ago I was younger than I
am now, though perhaps you won't believe
it, but the fact of it is, girls, when you
have lived as long as 1 have, you'll be as
old as I am, and like as not full as grey
headed, if you don't color your hair with
hair-dye, as I hope you won't. Colored
hair is a desate on folks, just like showin'
false colors in the army, it's apt to get peo
ple Into difficulty. Now, there was Sam.
uel Hughes good, smart young feller as
there was in Lynashtown ; owned a big
farm, and a yaller house, and a grey hoss.
Almost any gal would have been glad to
hov had him, but somehow Sam was kind
er hard to please. Byne-by, a stylish crit
ter from the city, all flounces and flummy
diddlcs, came to visit Mahala Brown,
Squire Brown's darter, Victory Aurill, her
name was ; and in a fortnight all the fel
lers was nigh about ravin' after her.
Seemed as if some of 'em would turn into
crazytics, and hev to be hurried to the In
sane Asylum house."
"Wall, Victory she had the reddest
cheeks, and the whitest forrad, and the
brownest hair you ever seen, and her teeth
was jest like white airthen. Everybody
said, ' what a beautiful complexion Miss
Aurill has got 1' and Victory, she got so
stuck up with their soft-soapin' that she
wouldn't hardly speak to oommon folks.
Sam Hayes fell in love with her the hardest
kind ; and the perdicament of his heart,
'cording to his own account was alarmin'.
Sometimes, he said, it beat so hard that all
the town might of heard it, if thoy had
only been harkenin' ; and then agin, it
stopped beatin' intirely, and he felt jest as
if he was nigh on to giving up the ghost
The doctor said that nothin' ailed him but
eatin' too much fish, and driukin' cider,
but Sam said, it was all his love for Vic
tory. One day it was purposed that all the
young folks in Bquashtown should go a
pic-nicking, a kinder of a party you know,
and they got sot on bavin' their time over
in Paul Horn's wood's on tother side of
Tadpole river. They went across on rafts,
and Sam Hayes undertook to git Victory
over on his little fish in' raft. Victory she
got skairt, and Sam tried to comfort hor
by kissin' of her kinder sly, and Victory
struck at Sam to keep him away, and in
the scrabble she foil off from the raft into
the river. ' Save me, Sam 1 save me I I'm
a drownded woman t Sam 1 Sam 1' scream
ed Victory, turnin' over and over in the
water, and thrashin' round the master ; and
Sam jumped right in after her, and in tew
minutes had her onto tbe raft again I But
lawful sakesl where was her hair, and
where was her red checks, and where was
her white teeth f Her own mother wouldn't
aknowedheri Her hair had turned as
grey as a rat, her skin was all yaller and
puckered, and as for her teeth, they warn't
there 1 Everything about her face worth
lookiu' at had cleared out Intirely 1 She
was a sight to be seen ! The water, ye see,
had washed the paint oft of her face, and
the dye-stuff oat of her hair, and there she
was, as homely an old gal as was ever
creationed. Sam, he never sed a word,
but jeet clapped his hand on bis stomach,
and streaked it for home. If you want to
make him mad, jest say Victory Aurill to
him. So, my advloo, to you, gals, is to lot
paiutin1 yer hair and faces alone, unless
you can be satisfied never to go nigh any
water, .Water is a terrible thing to a
mnde-up woman."
"Ob, yes, to be sure, aunt I" cried Mag
Reed, impationtly ; " but what about your
beau?"
"Want to hear about my beau, eh?
How do you know I ever had one ?" naked
aunt Susy, tartly. ' '
" Why, a handsome woman like you,
aunty, said Nell Gotham, appeasingly,
" must have been a pretty girl, and pretty
girls are never without a bean, you know I"
"There now I Did you ever!" exclaim
ed aunt Susy, with assumed disgust, but
glancing stealthily at the opposite mirror.
" Well, gals, the fact of it is, I was
good-lookin' once. Robert Idkway said
once that I was handsome as a big pippin
apple ; and Joe Brown said that of all the
gals in the town he liked the looks of me
the best! Them was tells worth bavin'.
There warn't no fellers to speak of, in
them times, round Bquashtown. There
was Tim Johnson, hut he squinted all the
time as if he was lookin' through a spy
glass, and then there was Jerry Wheeler.
Poor Jerry 1 his nose was long enough to
bridge over the Merrlmac river, any time 1
It would have been onposBible for a palrson
of my temperature so romantio and full of
sensiblencss, to have been happy with men
of nuturs bo onoongenitive. Ye see, I am
naturally of a kinder high-flyin' turn -like
to see the sublimatories of natur' as pro
hibited in the great mountains and tbe
roaring spatteracts t Natur' is a powerful
cretur ; and I'd rather see the ocean in a
state of turpentine with the lashing of rude
Borax, than to gaze upon all the splcn
dorifferousness of the Crystal Palaoe, or
Queen Victoria's red petticoat 1 Thems
my sentiments !"
" But your beau ?" queried Kate.
"Sure enuffl I'd about forgot. Now, 1
ain't no great hand to go all round the
wood-shed a-tellln' anything. Some folks
is. There's old uncle Nat, for one. He's
been a powerful sailor, and he allors has a
great sight to say about furren countries.
He go to the Subterranean Sea, where all
the folks that liv' git swallered up in airth
quakes, and from there to Mt. Chlmbly
Razor, and then back to the rock of Glib
Stalter to tell you that he's got the tooth
ache I ' For rny part, I'm glad I don't
know so much about the world 1 Sakos
alive ! sich folks are enough to wear a
body outl Circumbobberatlng the airth
after nothin' !"
"Yes, but the beau?" cried the three
girls at once.
" Law me ! can't you wait? The world
wasn't made in a day, no more'n I got a
beau in that time ; and it ain't best to drive
business quite so muob. Somehow you
won't seem to take no puttin' off, and if I
must toll ye, I 'spose I must. My beau's
name was rather a peccooliar one Seth
Moses Udozia Tumbottle. The boys boys
are allers bateful-actioned critters called
him by the four first letters of his four
names B. M. IT. T Smut. Seth Moses
was a nice kind of a chap as you'd see any
where ; wore a standin' dicky, and had
black hair and whiskers. He was power
ful fond of verses, and allers carried a book
writ by a friend of bis, Mr. Byron, or some
sich name. Twan't no great thing though ;
precious little rhyme about it, and rhyme
is all the beauty of verses. Soth used to
drop into our house pretty often, to talk
politics with father and eat apples and
cider. He had a tremenjuous great eat
atito. " 1 was about the matter of nineteen
years old, then ; and as smart a gal as
you'd see anywhere. I could bake pies
and cakes, and spin and weave, and make
butter and cheese jest like a book. Every
body was a-talkin' about how caperble I
was. Seth Moses' mother got cold at a
trainin', and it settled on her luDgs and
diagram, and the doctor said she'd got the
inflammation of the pleurisy, and it wasn't
long before she died and left Seth Moses
and bis father, old Tumbottle, orfins. It
was a kinder of a sad case, no wimmen
folks about to look after their things ; and
folks said that Seth Moses was a-gwlne to
git married. Old Tumbottle had a fine
house, with pizarros and whitlows and in
vigorators all over it ; and there was a
famous big winder in the parlor, curtained
off from tbe rest of the room, that they
called the confectionary a place to put
plants In, ye know. It was a first rate
chance for any gal, folks said ; and father
and mother were nigh 'bout crazy for me
to have Seth Moses. To tell the plain
truth, gals, I shouldn't have been a mite
offended about doin' jest as my pairents
wanted me to. It's one of the Ten Com
mandments. "Wall, as I sed before, I was a remark
able smart creeture there ain't many
smart gals now-a-days. Folks did bring
up their gals to know nothin' of any con
sequence; and the amount of it is jest this
the men that marry 'em git tremonju
ously cheated 1 Now there's Squire Dye
house's wife don't know how to make a
puddin' nor fry a slap-jack I Lays on tbe
sofer all day and reads the novels ; and lets
her table set rite in the floor, with all the
dirty dishes on it, till the squire gets home
to dinner. Then she fllos round like a
mouse in a hot skillet ; and they say that
the rquire poor man 1 has took up eatin'
his dinner in a refrigerator. Awful dolus 1
But to come back to Seth Moses. . Seth
was real giuero.us didn't mind a nine
penoe no more'n you would a grey bean.
lie used to bring me the tightest of candy
and peppermints father said to make me
sweet but Soth Moses jest squeezed my
hand, and said, ter'blo low and tender-like,
' As if you wasn't sweet enuff now, Susy !'
Of course, gals, I don't expect you to tell
of this nonsense. It wouldn't be fair.
" We had a tame monkey in our family
uncle Nat brought him from Greenland,
or tbe West Ingles, I forgot which ; and
Snip, that was his name, was a dosprit
favorite with us all.. The way he used to
cut up was astonishln'. Jest what he seed
anybody do he'd go rite away and do his
self. Snip owed Seth Moses a grudge, be
cause Seth tied a bell to his tail one time,
and sot everybody to laflin' at him, so Snip
he was dotarmincd to torment him all he
could. He'd steal his handkerchief and
wipe the dog's nose with it, and once he
got the precious book that Mr. Byron writ,
out of Soth's coat pocket, and dropped it
into the slop-pail 1 Nigh about ruinnated
it!
" Wall, Seth Moses kept on visitiu' to
our bouse, till we looked out for his comin'
every night as a sottled pint. Arter
awhile, father and mothor got to droppin'
off, and leavin' Seth and me alone on the
old settle afore the kitchen fire. At sich
times I glnerally knit and Seth twirled his
thumbs. Real interestin' for us to ex
perience if it ain't quite so interestin' for
you to hear. One night, 'twas in March ;
and I've despised the month ever sense
Seth came over as usual. About eight
o'clock father went ' to bed, or reetired, if
that suits you any better, and mother did
likewise.' Soth he got kind of oneasy-like,
and I didn't know as the settle-cushion wtis
beat up right for him. So, sez I, ' Seth,
what's the matter? You don't act as if
you sot comfortable !' Don't I ?' sez he,
fidgetin' about. 'No,' sez I, "pears as if
the settle don't jest fit ye ; s'pose'n I beat
it up?' Susy,' sez, he, jumpin' up all of
a sudden, 'I've got somethiu' on my
mind I' ' Law well 1' sez I, ' take it off
then if it distresses ye ; what is it, yer new
watch-chain?' 'Susy,' sez he, poppin'
down on the bilin' hot barth, (burnt a holo
in each knee of his trowses,) 'Susy, I love
ye I You are my star t Of all the heaven
ly planters that tread the sky and wraps
their splenderifl'erousness in the clouds,
thou art the brightest 1' I have said be
fore that Seth Moses was very romantic, if
the boys did call him ' Smut ;' and I was
jest a gwine to be as pulite as he was,
when onlucky enuff, I happened to turn
my eyes toward the tother corner of the
fire-place ; and oh, that monkey ! Dear
sake t I've abomlnationated a monkey
forever, all on account of that Snip 1 There
he was was, squat down on his knees afore
our old dog Rover, his paws histed up jest-
like Seth's hands, and his head bobbin',
and bis eyes rollin' about orfully. I
couldn't stand it, aud I tickled rite out
a-laffln'.
'"Oh I you monkey I you monkey !' sez
I, laflin' away as tight as I could.
"Seth, poor, foolish toad! thought I
meant him, and be was awful mad, I can
tell you. He got rite up off from the harth,
grabbed his hat, and aimed at the door. I
tried to exploterato the matter to him, but
he wouldn't take no kind of a hearin' of it ;
and went off, slammin' the door to behind
him. That was the last of his being my
beau. Two weeks after, he married Sarah
Jones, and took her home to bis nice house
with all its invigorators. I've lived with
out him though, and got along tolerably
well. Sometimes I think that monkey did
a blessed good job for me, for they do say
that Seth Moses drinks and scolds at his
wifo. ,
" Howsomever, I should kinder have
liked to a' tried the married state, jest to
see how I should a' liked it. It couldn't
bave done no hurt, anyhow."
Anecdotes of Negro Officials.
A correspondent from South Carolina,
sends the following amusing accounts of
Southern officials :
"Not long since a negro offender was
brought before a negro Trial Justice. The
prisoner's offence was, in fact, no offence
at all, and it was only out of malice that
he was arrested. A white man a most
respectable farmer had given him some
cotton seed, and he had taken it without
a thought but what the title was good. But
another negro claimed the cotton seed and
had darkey No. 1 arrested for stealing.
Tbe Trial Justice heard the testimony and
sentenced the poor negro to ten days' im
prisonment and twenty dollars fine, al
though there was not a particle of testi
mony upon which could reasonably base a
conviction. It happened the Circuit Court
was In session, and the Judge was inform
ed that an innocent man was in jail. He
had the justice before him in court and In
quired for the testimony, which the law de
clares shall be reduced to writing.
"I hain't got any," said tbe block Jus
tice. " I don't do no writin' iu my court
I keeps It all lu my head."
" What testimony did you have against
this man ?" demanded the Judge.
He could not give any.
" Then why did you convict bim ?" the
Judge asked.
" Cause, sah, I noticed him close and be
looked guilty."
" You convioted him, then, on his looks,
and not on the evidence ?"
The black judicial officer was thereupon
given some advice as to how to conduct bis
" court," and departed with- a bow and n
"Yes, sah." '
I asked the lawyer as to the other Ches
ter county officials. He informed me that
the county was represented in the Legis
lature by three members, all negroes. One
of them was a preacher, whose peculiarity
was that he would never take more for his
'vo(d than $10. He did sot think it was
wrong to sell ins vote, provided be aia not
exact an exorbitant price. Ten dollars he
conceived to be the fair figures. " This
thing of gettin' a bundrod dollars for a
vote," he says, "Is all wrong ; ten dollars
is as much as it is wof."
The county Commissioners of Chester,
I was told, were two Ignorant negroes and
one drunken Irishman. The juries in the
Courts are usually composed of four or five
white men and seven or eight negroes. As
jurymen, the negroes all seemed desirous '
to do right, but the trouble is their ignor
ance. In matters of account involving
written documents and figures, how is a
negro to be of service as a juryman when
he does not know a figure from an excla
mation point? Another difficulty experi
enced with them as jurymen is the con
stant effort required to keep them awake.
In hot weather, under the soothing in
fluences of testimony and argument, of
which they understand nothing, or at best
but little, the African disposition to re
lapse into a doze is almost irresistible. Iu
the courts here the testimony and argu
ment are frequently interrupted by the
Judge ordering the Sheriff to "wake up
those jurymen." If the Judge has not had
his dinner, or if, having it, sits heavily on
bis stomach and he feels generally annoy
ed, he sometimes breaks out, after a short
stock of patience is exhausted: "Mr.
Sheriff, wake up them niggers."
A Dispnte Settled.
TIWO farmers living on adjoining farms
J iu Girard township, Erie county, have
for years been unfriendly, on account of a
disagreement about tbe line fence which
separated their lands, both claiming the
ten feet which was formerly a lane running
between the two places. Their children
have grown up inheriting their parents'
animosity, and their eldest sons have sev
eral times been subpoonaed as witnesses in
lawsuits which have grown out of this dif
ficulty. The case had been a sort of suit
iu chancery, having run on from year to
year, both men spending their money in
lawyers' foes without any legal conclusion.
About a year ago the two farmers awoke
on Monday morning to find that each had
loBt a child, one his youngest son, the other
his only daughter. Like the houses of
Moutague and Capulet, in Romeo and
Juliet, the scions of the two rival houses
bad secretly cherished a fondness for one
another, and knowing the fued between
the families, without divulging their pas
sions or intention they met clandestinely
and carried into an effect an elopement.
A week passed, at the end of which tbe
father of the runaway daughter was called
on to go to Erie and attend again to the
everlasting lawsuit. He went in early to
the office of the lawyer, and taking up one
of his weekly papers, read the marriage
notice of Emma. It was a terrible blow,
and he went out into the yard to try and
walk off his fever of excitement. All that
passed through the old gentleman's mind
is not known, but there seemed to be a
dosperate struggle within himself which
resulted in his returning to the lawyer's
office and postponing the business. Then
he drove directly to his farm, and had a
long private interview with his wife ; then
he did what he bad not done for tweuty
years went over and called on his enemy.
He was found sick, having been confined
to his room since the abandonment of hi.i
favorite son. But - the two farmers met,
and both for a few minutes stood face to.
face in profound silence. '
At length the father of Emma spoke :
" I bave come to settle the dispute ; let
the children have the lot on e:ther side
of tbe lane, and I will build them a house."
The sick man was overcome with emo
tion and sat down, but soon replied :
"And I will furnish it."
- So the recreant children were sent for
and forgiven, and came home to receive
their parents' blessing. And now there
are no more lawyers' for the two farmers,
but each has faithfully fulfilled his con
tract in regard to the house aud furniture.
The young couple removed to their new
dwelling in May, since which Emma has
had a spell of sickness, but both the old
grandmothers say "she is as well could be
expected." ,
tSTDr. II. was preaching on the cruci
fixion, and in the course of his discourse
bad so worked upon the sympathies of his
auditors that many were in teal's. After
dwelling on the cruelty of that mode of
punishment the doctor spoke of the male
factor crucified at the Saviour's right hand,"
who was so blessed as to receive pardon.
"Brothers and sisters," said he, "who
among us would not give all he poesetsea
to-day to bo thus favored? I would give
ten thousand worlds If I could have been
there and been that thief. Yes," continu.
ed he, after a momeut's pause, as if to re
flect, " I would give eleven thousand !" .
Tbe effect upon the audience of this addi.
tlonal bid may be imagined.