I)C Mms, Ncu) Bloomftcltr, Pa.
Why Morton Didn't Elope.
IF YOU lit people to names, then, I am
sure Patty suggests to you a plump
little figure, a round face, brown oyes, and
a tangle of brown curls, a nose Blightly
retrousieit, and a mouth made for smiles
and dimples. Such was Patty Comer at
seventeen. She was the only daughter of
a substantial 1 farmer, who thought a wo
man who could rend and writo a miracle of
erudition, and whoso chief Ideas of female
perfections ran in the bread-making and
chicken raising line.
At seventeen Patty was the belle of
Cross Keys, the little cluster of farms with
a village street, at the head of which stood
the public-house, for which the place was
named. Not a railroad ran within fifteen
miles of Cross Keys, and the maidens ig
nored chignons, know nothing whatever of
monogram lockets or paniors, but tied
natty knots of ribbon in the curls or braids
adorning their pretty heads, wore content
edly muslins and calicoes, fitted neatly to
their trim, plump figures, and entranced
the hearts of the village beaux to their own
entire satisfaction.
Patty took the load in every pic-nic, in
every party, whether for husking, quilting,
sleighing, or dancing ; and Patty's saucy
brown eyes had made two holes, deep as
wells, in George Hill's great, manly heart
which holes were full to the very top of
love for Patty.
Old Sir. Comer smiled upon tho simple
love tale ; for Mr. Hill, George's father,
was a " warm" man, and tho Hill farm
was a comfortablo heritage for George's
wifo. Mrs. Comer, Patty's grandmother,
for the violets had grown over her moth
er's head since she was a wee baby, shared
her heart between Patty and George, and
all was proving tho courso of true-love ran
very smooth, when, pretto I pats! a mngi
cal letter turned the current all awry.
The letter came from Now York, the
great city where Patty imagined the
streets were paved with gold, and the ladies
wore dresses studded with diamonds, and
the letter was from a lawyer. It was ad
dressed to Mr. Comer, and it informed him
that Patty's uncle, Mr. Charles Lewis, her
dead mother's brother, had died and left
Patty sole hoiress to fifty thousand dollars,
This was. sufficient for one day, but the
next day another letter followed from Mrs.
Clairmont Sinclair, Patty's aunt, who con
sidered It her duty to invite her niece to
tho city, that she might acquire the polish
' and make the match her fortune now en
titled her to.
Considering that this fine lady aunt and
unknown uncle had never noticed Patty
before, in the seventeen years of her lifo,
Mr. Comer was inclined to refuso the
invitation rather gruffly ; but Patty put
her round white arms round his neck, her
rosy cheek against his brown, withered
one, and pouted out her ripe, red lips, till
she won a reluctant consent to accept her
aunt's invitation.
I must confess that my heroiuo exhibited
a very unlovely part of her nature in those
few days that proceeded her departure for
the city. She " put on airs," as the coun
try folks termed her suddeu attempts to be
dignified, refusing to do her share of the
domestic duties, and appalling her grand
mother by suggesting hired help indoors.
She gave her rustio admirers the cold
shoulder, and snubbed George Hill so un
mercifully, that the young farmer, in high
dudgeon, resolved to cover up the wells in
his heart, and erect another feminine im
ago over this buried fountain
, With Patty's year iu New York my
story has nothing to do. She came home,
in answer to a rather peremptory summons
from her father, and Cross Keys stood
aghast, as she alighted from the stage
coach. It was a day in early spring, and
the maiden's travelling dress of fawn
colored silk was made in the latest stylo of
ruffles and flounces. There was not an
inch of it untrimmed, and the plump little
figure that had been full of graceful curves
in the tight-fitting cotton gowns Cross
Keys belles affected, looked broad and
square in the profusion of ruffles. A chig
non of preposterous size, surmounted by an
Alpine hat, finished off the Dutcby figure,
and surely never mortal woman wore
more bracelets, rings, watch-charms, lock-
. ets, or trinkets in general, than adorned
Patty's little hands, 1 dullcate ears and
plump wrists,
'. Weeks passed, and her father and grand
mother groaned in spirit, and heartily
wished Mr. Charles Lewis had left his for
tune to the two children of Mrs. Clairmont
Sinclair, who were, Patty declared, frantio
at losing it , ' ' .'' '
The polish the rustio damsel was to have
received seemed to consist in a severe
course of dress-making and the study of
' fashion-plates, with the literary relaxation
' of reading all the most silly,' trashy books
to be found. Of these, a goodly number
accompanied faer to Cross Keys, but there
was not one good one ' In the entire col
, leetion, t . ,. ,., . , , ,
. Rising at noon, Miss Margaret Comer, as
' she now insisted upon being called, made
an elaborate toilet, ate a hearty breakfast,
and , wasted the rest of , the day In , idle
ness. , I.
., She shuddered at the sight of the kitoh
eu.uever approached the poultry-yard with
out a highly-scented handkerchief applied
to her noso, and wondered why Dame Na
ture insisted upon her retaining her round
cheeks and plump proportions, when she
sighed to be pale, delicate, and interest
ing.
In various hints, veiled in mysterious
tones and obscure language, Cross Keys
was led to believe that sbme prince of men,
some hero far above average human na
ture, pinod for Margaret in the far-away
city ; so tho villagers were not entirely over
whelmed with amazement when, early in
Juno, two gentlemen took up summer
quarters at the public-house, one of whom
was Clairmont Sinclair, jr., the other Wil
fred Morton, his chosen friend, and tho
hero of Patty'B dreams.
Shorn of his black mustache, deprived
of his glittering studs, dressed iu any garb
but that of the latest metropolitan fashion,
I doubt whether Mr. Morton's charms
would have turned silly Patty's head.
Even with these undeniable attractions, I
don't think he ever reached the warm little
heart buried under all her silly affectations,
But he wood her in tho most romantic
manner.
Ho sauntered with her through tho shady
lanes, talking in caressing undertones, and
vowing eternal constancy in a voico of ten
dcrcst emotion. He pressed her plump
little hands, and looked in lackadaisical
glances into her brown eyes. IIo quoted
poetry by tho yard, and once he sank grace
fully upon his knees, in a secluded spot,
drew from his pocket a pistol about the
b!zo of a mint stick, and vowed to end his
wretched existence by blowing his brains
out then and tliore, unless Bhe promised to
be his wifo.
And Patty, in tho seventh heaven of de
light, gave tho required promise, and al
lowed tho ponderous chignon to bo twisted
all to ono sido in his grateful embrace.
"You will be mine, beloved Marga
retta !" ho gasped, pocketing the empty
pistol.
" Yours forever," sighed Patty, as if Blie
was singing a billet-doux.
" And you will fly with mo far, far away
from these uncongenial boors, to a heaven
of love!"
"Fly I" said Patty. " Why why,
Wilfred, we need not fly anywhere, need
we?"
" But with me you will bo over safe !'
and in the inspired language of impecu
nious lovers, the impassioned Wilfred
pointed out the advantages of an elope
ment over a humdrum village wedding.
' Patty, to do her justice, hold out bravely
for a while, but finally her imagination was
taken captive by the dramatio powers of
her lover, his picture of the reconciliation
scene, and she consented to' meet him at
the corner of the road loading to tho villago
at nine o'clock, where he was to havo
carriage waiting to drive them to the rail
way station.
Then, having brought affairs to a satis
factory climax, Mr. Wilfred Morton left
his lady love to make his own preparations,
and Patty sped homeward, forgetting her
newly-acquired languid step in her desire
to select the ' contents of her travelling
satchel. She had pleaded for a trunk, but
yielded to the suggested impossibility of
carrying it to the meeting-place.
But after the satchel was packed, after
the fawn-colored silk travelling-dress and
jaunty hat were spread out upon the bed
ready for use, it was only five o'clock, and
there crept into Patty's heart some uneasy
memories and misgivings. She became un
easily consolous that there had been years
of devoted self-sacrificing love given to her
by her father and grandmother, long be
fore her Uncle Charles made her his heir
ess. She remembered that George poor,
neglected George hod not waited till she
had fifty thousand dollars before he laid his
great honest heart at her feet. She . won
dered whether all the demonstrative ca
resses of her aunt and cousins were as
sincere as her father's morning and eve.
ning kiss, of grandmother's fervent " God
bless you, Patty." She began, to recall
various occasions in wnion site liad sur
prised her city relatives mimicking some
awkward gestures and ridiculing . some
absent party, ana speculated a little un
easily as to who was the object of their
neers. , But, then Wilfred's vows, Wil
fred's molting eyes. , Wilfred's mustache,
and i Wilfred's glossy boots came between
ber , mental vision and her better self,
and she resolved to , " follow him forever."
Tea was an uncomfortable meal. Piles of
snowy biscuit and ripe red strawberries
could not keep Patty from a sepse of un,
worthiness, in spite of her gorgeous blue
muslin and scarlet, hair ribbons. She im
agined her grandmother looked older than
usual,, more worn, and tired, and hereon
science smote her ' as she thought of the
double work upon the. aged hands that had
smoothed childhood s path. lor iier so
willingly , and kindly. , She fancied .her
father looked wistfully at her finery, as if
thluking of the little Patty whose cotton
dress was pot Injured by bis caress, whose
clustering curls, never shrank from his
horny hand. ,, ,
, , It was rather a , miserable little Patty,
after , all,' who stole out of , the quiet furm
house at eight o'clock, aul sped across the
fields to the corner where . Wilfred and
perfect bliss awaited her, But no one was
there, and fearing some chance passer-by
would see her, . Patty . climbed a fence,
rending a ruflle from her silk dress, and
hid herself behind a cluster of trees whose
shadows concealed her completely from
any prying eyes.
She was soarcely comfortably seated
upon a friondly stump, when a faint odor
of tobacco made her bless her forethought.
There was no sound of wheels, so it could
not be Wilfred, she thought, and she lis
tened intently as footsteps drew near. In
the twilight two figures approached, and
she heard the voice of her cousin say, in
distinct tones : ..
" The little fool is not here yet."
And Wilfred did not knock him down,
only replied carelessly :
"Time enough. It is only half past
eight. You are sure, Sinclair, hor money
is paid as soon as she is married
' Sure 1 Don't you suppose I know that
counfounded (lam afraid that was a worse
word) will by heart. It is a dead swindle
that my uncle left her a penny, after our
affectionate intercourse for years. But,
remember I am to have fivo thousand
dollars for introducing you, and carrying
the affair through."
" All right ! I'll not forget, It is timo
that carringo was bore. By Jove I If
Miss Margaret don't got her money soon,
we'll havo to cat crusts during the honey
moon. X Ins elopement takes my last
dollar."
" Are you sure you cautioned her about
secrecy?"
" You bet! Fancy Daddy Comer inquir
ing about mo."
" He would find out you were "
" Well, never mind I He would scarcely
trust his daughter to mo. What an idiot
she is with her fashionable airs and her
imitation of fine ladyism. Faugh, it
makes mo sick to look at hor. I'll train
some of tho affectations, I promise you."
Then they sauntered a little further
down the road to look for the carriage and
the expected bride. Patty watched till
they turucd tho corner, aud then sprang to
her foot. In tho wink of au eye site was
ovei tho fence, satchel aud all, and speed,
ing across the fields homeward.
By the time the carriage came, she was
in bed, sobbing pitifully, and yet, after
all, happier than she had been for
year. ' ' '
Six o'clock was striking by the kitchen
clock, and Grandmother Comer was
grinding coffee in the mill, when an appa
rition appeared that very nearly sent mill,
coffee and all down on the well-scrubbed
floor. But the apparition caught the mill
in two plump white hands, and kissed
grandma on both withered cheeks, further
proceeding to roll up a pair of blue cotton
sleeves, and plunge two plump arms into
the flour barrel. Then a brisk bustling of
a pair of trimly-shod feet, resulted in the
appearance of rolling-board and broad-pan,
and a curly brown head, without any hair
on it but what nature placed there bent
over the biscuit making, as if, light bis
cuit was the end and aim of human exist
ence.
"Why, Patty I" gasped Grandmother
Comer. .
" That's me I" said a cheery voice.
" I've been away some time, grandma, but
I've come home now, rather ashamed of
myself, if I must tell the truth, but '
And ; then Patty came very close to her
graudmother, and lifted a pair of soft,
beseeching, brown eyes, " I will be a good
girl, if you will forgive me all my sill!
ness," . ,
" Dear heart, child," said grandma,
bending to kiss the pouting red lips, " I
ain't got nothing to forgive. Fortunes
like yours turn girl's heads always,
reckon. 1 mink tuat amount of money
would turn mine," with a soft little laugh,
"and you have no need to make the biscuit
at all, dear."
But; Patty felt the need of good, whole
some work, in the indignant, humiliated
heart Bhe carried so bravely, and bustled
about the kitchen . under grandmamma's
admiring eyes, as if the past year was all
a . dream. Her father made a feeble little
protest, as ber grandmother had done
but his eyes (airly danced as Patty sprang
into his arms, without a furbelow to crush
pr a ruffle to tear. , , .
Wilfred Motion . received, by ' the baud
of . a farm-boy, a little note that deprived
Cross Keys of the illumination of his
mustache forever. It was very short,
only , -
" I was at the corner before you came,
and heard your conversation with my
cousin. . , I ATTY.
The rustics were rather shy of Patty, for
some time, after her , fine-lady condesceu
slons to them, but in the fall they forgave
the past and danced gayly at the wedding
of Mrs. George Hill, who, before she gave
away her hand, opened her heart to her
farmer lover, and confessed to him the
story of ber intended elopemeut.
... tSr A: vegetable gardener, called at
newspaper oflice the other day and inquired
very anxiously if Uie editor had seen, any
thing in the papers lately about a grub-
worm that was doing niuqh damage to eel
ery. "I intended," said h, "to have
raised a good deal of celery this year, but
I don't think it will pay if that celery
grub that started at Washington while
since, about what I've beam so much on
is coming this way." A light dawned upon
the editor's mind the " Salary Grab."
Sentenced to be Skinned.
A Russian Anecdote.
riMIE following anecdote, taken from the
JL Historical Memories of Scgur, gives a
lively picture of the spirit which reigned in
the Russian Court, under tho sway of the
celebrated Catherine tho Second :
A rich banker, named Sandorland, en-
oyed for a long timo the favor of the Em
press, out ono day lie suddenly saw Ills
house surrounded by an armed force, led by
a Commissary of the police, who demanded
to speak with him.
My dear air," Bald ho to the frightened
banker, " it grieves me deeply to have re.
ceived orders from our gracious sovereign
to executo towards you a seventy beyond
any thing I have ever yet seen. I know
not what extraordinary offence you have
committed to excite such extremity of
anger in Hor Majesty as to induce her to
command a punishment so horiiblo and un
precedentcd."
I do not understand a word of what
you are saying," answered the astonished
banker. " I am as much amazed as if you
had fallen from the clouds. What aro tho
orders you have rocoived ?"
"I havo not courage to tell you. And
yet I shall be compelled to execute them."
Am I indeed, so unfortunate as to have
lost her Majesty's confidence ?"
"Ah I if that wore all, sir, you would not
see me so disconsolate You might regain
her confidence and even her favor but "
" But am I then banlsed from Russia?"
" That would indeed be a sad misfor
tune ; yet with your riches you could find
a hospitable reception in any other country.
But"
" Oh heavens 1 is it possible that I am to
be exiled to Siberia?"
"Even from there, you might, sooner or
later be called to RusBia."
" Perhaps, thcu, you are going to put me
in prison ?"
" I wish it were so, for then you might
he liberated." "
" Am I then condemned to undergo the
knout?"
"The knout is a dreadful punishment,
to be sure, but is not always fatal."
"Then, oh 1 then, you lead mo to death 1
tell me plainly ; this suspense is worse than
death itself."
" Know, then, that your most gracious
Empress has given absolute orders to take
off your entiro skin." .
"To take off my skin !" exclaimed San.
derland, seized with horror' to flay me
alive !" But regaining his self-command
be added, " No, no it .cannot be ; either
you havo lost your senses, Mr. Commissary,
or your most benign mistress has lost hers.
Is it possible you made no answer when
you received such cruel orders?"
" I did more than any other would have
dared to do. I did not conceal my grief
and surprise. I lingered in tho Imperial
presence, and hod actually begun a humble
remonstrance to Her Majesty, when our
gracious sovereign, turning to look on me,
with a look and voice of anger, bade me
begone and perform her will. ' I still seem
to hear her threatening and appalling
words: "Go," said Her Majesty, "and
never forget that it Is your indispensable
duty to execute without questioning the
commands I thjnk you , worthy to receive
from me." , ., ... .
it is impossible to describe the agitation,
the anguish, or the despair of poor Sander
land. After be bad for a timo given . vent
to tho violence of his distress, the Com
missary told him that he was allowed a
a quarter of an hour to settle his affairs.
In vain the banker prayed for a longer in
terval, or at least , for an ' opportunity to
write to the Empress and implore her clem
ency. At length, although trembling for
the consequences to his own life, he con
sented, and he immediately followed the
letter himself ; but not having courage to
present himself at Court, he, went to seek
his friend and protector, Col. Bruce.
The Count thought that the Commissary
must have made a mistake, and took him
immediately to the Imperial Palace. There
leaving him iu an ante-chamber, ho ob
tained admission to the presence of the
Empress, to whom be related . the whole
affair. ...
. What was his. .astonishment to, overhear
the Empress exclaim : ," Just heaven what
atrocity ! There can be no doubt) that
Neiooff (the Commissary) is mad 1 Quick 1
Count, take horse before it is too late, aud
deliver my poor banker from bis alarm ; and
assure him of my favor aud good wishes."
The Count hastened to .communicate
this order to the Commissary, and was yet
more astonished when, returning to the
presence of thp Empress he heard her ex
claim, 'mid bursts of the loudest laughter :
" Now I understand the , cause of . this
strange and incomprehensible scute. , , I
have for several years had a tine dog, which
I valued highly, . and had given him the
name of Sunderland, both for the sake of a
a joke on my good banker, and also in com
pliment to the English geutleman of that
name from whom I obtained the dog..
Early this morning I gave orders to Neicoff
to take off his skin entire, iu order to have
it stuffed, as the poor thing was dead. He
seemed to besitate, and I was very augry,
because I thought it was pride on his part
that caused hiin to, hesitate. , . .
)
Never Known to Fail I
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beyond the probability of a relapse.
BEWARE OF COUNTERFEITS. Tho
genuine are put up in square tin boxes, with
"Thompson's Fever and Ague Powders"
stamped on tho lid, and tho signature of
"Thompson & Crawford," on the wrapper.
No others can possibly be genuine.
PKEPAHKD ONLY BY
CRAWFORD & FOBES,
141 Market St., Philadelphia.
THOMPSON'S
1J II I2 U M A. T I O
AND
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EQUALLY GOOD FOR MAN OR BEAST.
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Burns, Scalds, Stiffness of the Neck, Sore
Throat, Swellings, Inflammations, Frost Bites,
Pains in the Stdo and Back, Bites of Spiders
or Stings of Insects., One rubbing will In all
cases give immediate relief, and a few applica
tions complete a cure. On account of its pow
erful penetrating properties it is beyond doubt,
the SUREST REMEDY for the most trouble
some diseases to which horses and cattle are
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and Bores, Chafes produced by collar or sad
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destroy the hoofs or bones of the feet. Fnll
directions accompany each bottle. Prepared
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IJy Crawford ' k Fobcr,
141 Market Street,
20 b ly PHILADELPHIA.
Why not have a Beautiful Complexion?
WHY BE ANNOVKU WITH
CHAPPED HANDS on ROUCH SKINT
, when such an agreeable and effectual ,
RBMED Y CAN -BE OB TA IN ED
l AT SO SHALL A COST. ..
: BY USING WRIGHT'S
"ALCOXATED GLYCERINE TABLET."
Sold by Druggists a Dealers In Toilet Articles. 00
1. H. oirvin. . ,
i, ii. eisviit
J.
M. GIltVJN & SON,
CominiMMiou Merchants,
NO. 8. BPEAB'8 WHARF,
It a 1 1 1 m o r e . M d .
, a
t.We will nay strict attention to the sale of al
kinds of country produce, and remit the amount
uroiiintlv. 1 i : &341y
promptly.
New Pension Zaiv.
UNDER an act of Congress approved March 3.
187H, widows of officers who were killed, or
died ot disease contracted In the service, are now
entitled to t&OO per month for each of their chil
dren. ! .
The guardian of a minor child of a soldier who
heretofore only received ts.on per mouth pension
Is now entitled to llfl. per moth.
Holdiers who receive Invalid pensions can now
have their pensions Increased to any sum or rate
between IS. and 118. per month.
Holdiers who have lost their discharges can now
obtain duplicates.
Fathers and mothers who lost sons In the serv
ice upon whom they were depeudent for support,
can also obtain pension.
The undersigned having had over 10 years ex
perience In the Claim Hgeuuy bnsluess will attend
promptly to claims under the above act.
Csllou or address i
' I i'i ! t jLuvyjs POTTER,
Attorney for Claimants,
' i ...... New Bloomneld,
7 20tf. ,. 4,; Ferry Co., Fa.
JOBINBON HOUSE,
(Formerly kept by Bweger and Shuman.)
, -Vi JB!oofttW, Vriy Count-, Va. ,
AMOS ROBINBON, Proprietor.
This well known nd pleasantly located holes
has been lossed for number ot years by the pres
ent prnprleior.and he will spare no palm to accom
modate hi guests. The rooms are comfortable,
the table well furnished with the best In the mar
ket, and the bar sloeked with choice liquors. A ,
careful and attentive hostler will be In atleudance.
A good livery stable will be kept by theproprletor
Aprll , 1871. tf '
Dissolution or CcPartnershlp. '"
XTOTfOK Is hereby given that the so.panner
J ship heretofore existing list ween the under
Signed, under the name of Rough, Hnyder Ii !o.,
I riUxolvtd by mutual oonseiit. The kooks of the
firm will he round with J. W, H. Kough, and no
tice Is given that accounts must be settled within
thirty day. from this w R. kol?f.
i ; W. H. KNYIlKK, ,
W, H. KOUIiII.
' Newport, Aug., 20. 173. .' '
' The business heretofore conducted by Kongh,
Snyder & Co., will be continued by thesuliscjibers.
w. u. Rough. ,