rsi'iia .jirvyii i ii ei r ai m 91 il xi if 41 ii a ie a ie 31
TERMS t flJl.as Per Year
1
I2T A D VANCE.
JVol. VII.
IS PUBLISH KD EVERT TUE8DAT H0BNINQ, BY
FEANE MORTIMER & CO.,
At New Bloomflcld, Terry Co., Pa.
Being provided with Steam Power, nnd large
Cylinder and Jon-Presses, we are prepared
to do all kind of Job-Printing In
good style and at Low Trices.
ADVKUTISING BATES)
Trantitnt 8 Cents per lino for one Insertion
13 two Insertions
15 ' throe insertions
Business Notices in Local Column 10 Cents
per line.
MFor longer yearly adv'ts terms will be given
upon application.
JOHN JANEIN'S SERMON.
The minister said last night, says be,
" Don't be afraid of glvin'i
If your life ain't nothln' to other folks,
Why, what's the use o' livln'?"
And that's what I say to wife, says I,
There's Brown, the mis'rablo sinner,
He'd sooner a beggar would starve than give
A cent toward buyln' a dinner.
I tell yon our minister's prime, he is,
But I couldn't quite determine,
When I heard him a-glvln' it right and loft,
Just who was hit by his sermon.
Of course, there couldn't be no mistake
When he talked of long wlnded-prayln',
For Peters and JohnBOn, they sot and scowled
At every word he was sayin'.
And the minister, he went on to say,
" There's various kinds o' cheatln',
And religion's as good for every day
As it is to bring to meetln'."
I don't think much of a man that gives
The Lord amens at my prcachln',
And spends his time the followin' week
In cheatln' and ovcrreachln'."
I guess that dose was bitter enough
For ajman like Jones to swaller ;
But I noticed he didn't open his mouth, .
Not once, after that, to holler,
Hurrah I says I, for the minister,
Of course I said it quiet ;
Give us some more of this open talk ;
It's very refreshing diet.
The minister hit 'em all every time ;
And when he spoke o fashion,
And a-rlggln' out in bows and things,
As woman's rulln' passion,
And a-comln' to church to see the styles,
I couldn't help a-winkln',
And a-nudgln' my wife, says I, "That's you."
-And I guess it sot her thlnkln'.
Bays J Jo myself, That sermon's pat
But man Is a queer creation ;
And I'm much afraid that most o' the folks
Wont take the application.
Now if be had said a word about
iow !
'My
personal mode o' slnnln'.
I'd hav feone to work to right myself,
.YjA notet here a-grlnnln.'
Just then the snlnlster says, says he,
" And now I've qflho to the fellers ,
Who've lost this shower by usln' their friends
As sort o' moral umbrellers.
Go home," says he, " and find your faults,
Instead of bun tin' yijur brothers',
Go home," says he, " and wear the coats
You've tried to tit for others."
My wife, she nudged, and Brown, he winked,
And there was lots o' smllln',
And lots o' looking at our pew
It sot my blood a-bllln'.
Bays I to myself, Our minister
Is glttln' a little bitter
I'll tell him when meetiu's out that I
Aiut aUUl that kind of a critter.
MR. FINNEGAN'S WEDDING.
T
IIIE District Attorney of Murderer'!
Bar stood tip to bis knees in the Yuba.
But as bis rubber boots came as high as bis
hips tbera was no fear of bis getting wet,
as be made the muddy river muddier by
bis unceasing labor at the rocker.
Distance lent beauty and picturesque
ese to the District Attorney. A near view
disclosed several details that were not
creditable to the guardian of the legal hon
or of Murderer's Bar. Hi red shirt, that
a hundred feet off would have set an artist
to sketching incontinently, at ten would
have made a laundryman groan. At pho
tograph distance bis mother would have
wept, for although the District Attorney
bad only been away from Yale two years,
and in California one, his nose had acquired
a color that, like tho hue of a choice"' meer
schaum, could only have been gained by
steady effort. If the parson of bis native
town could have been concealed on the
bauk of the Yuba, he would have changed
bis opinion of the District Attorney's natu
ral piety, for although tiie young man was
of excellent family, he took a clay pipe
from between bis teeth and swore ably nt
AN INDEPENDENT FAMILY
New Bloorafleld, !,., Tuesday,
the poor results of an hour's bard washing,
lying in the bottom of the rocker. Tben
be looked up at the sun and transferred his
profanity to that body, as he took off bis
slouched hat and wiped bis forehead with
his sloeve. As the District Attorney thus
stood scratching bis matted bead, a bravely
arrayed figure, bestriding a gayly capari
soned mule, trotted down the bank and
cried out :
" I say, sur, are ye the boss lahyer ov
the Bar?"
" I am," said the District Attorney,
putting on his hat.
"Are ye on the marry?" the strangor
asked pleasantly, as he got off tho mule and
took a scat on a rock by the water's edge.
" Eh ?"
" Is marrying in yer line ?" t
" I don't catch your meaning," said the
District Attorney, anxiously.
"I mean have ye iver done any marry
in' yersolf," explained the stranger,
leisurely cutting a pipeful from a plug of
tobacco.
" Well, no," said the District Attorney.
"Why?"
" Bekase I'd like ye to splice myself an'
Mary Brady over at the Flat the night
Mary, ye know, daughter of Ould Brady,
what keeps the deadfall kin ye do it ?"
" Oh, certainly," said the District At
torney, without hesitation.
" Well, come on thin there's a horse
fur ye at the cabin bey ant."
Brown, who is a distinguished lawyer
now with no bad habits, bad his doubts
about it. He bad never heard of a district
attorney marrying people before. But he
remorsefully reflected that his studies in
bis profession bad not been profound. Any
way, it was reasonable to suppose that
law, like morals and religion, might relax
in the California atmosphere on this occa
sion. And so Brown has said, " I made
up my mind to risk it and go with Mr.
Finnegan over, to the Flat. Besides, I
have always prided myself on a good mem
ory, so I hadn't any doubt, after my pious
bringing up, that I could remember the
marriage service perfectly." ,
The wedding was to be celebrated at the
Cosmopolitan Saloon Mr. Finnegan bad
been irreveront in calling it a dead-fall
and the District Attorney found a large
and tipsy company making a tremendous
noise and pledging tho expectant bride in
raw rum, pending tho arrival of the bride
groom, and himself. The company was
largor than select. The whole male popu
lation of the Flat had come out as a matter
of course, despising the formality of wait
ing for invitations. There were only three
ladies the bride and her mothor and Mrs.
Oeneral Harding the wife of General
Hardiuge, who was stopping for a few
weeks at the Flat, with a view to invest
ment. Mr. Brady having gotten money
and lauds, by means of the Cosmopolitan,
took an interest in the General, and bis
beautiful dressed lady got an invitation.
There wore several other ladies living at
the Fist, but I regret to say they were not
such as could be invited to a wedding.
It was a very lively assemblage indeed.
Old Brady himself could hardly keep his
feet, and refused to charge for his rum
something that is handed down in the
Flat to this day for when Mr. Brady was
sober or even ordinarily drunk, he was a
great skinflint. The boys were sitting
round the tables playing cards or standing
at the bar in knots. Everybody was speak
ing at onee, and everybody was anxious to
drink bis glass with everybody else in hon
or of the bride. The healthy young lass
sat between her mother and the General's
lady, who were perfect batteries of sorrow
ing Bympatky. Poor Miss Brady was red
as a piece of cinnabar, with the excitement
aud the attention and an occasional bash
ful sip of watered mm, a dozen tumblers
of which beverage were constantly extend
ed by gallant hands. General Hardinge,
the only man present who wore a white
shirt, and bis was very large and white in
deed, kept near the blushing Miss Brady,
and roused the envy of every Flatter by
his suave manners and handsome person.
" Gintlimin, come to prther I" cried Mr.
Brady, thickly, and knocking a glass on
the counter in a shambling way ; " the
lubycr's come."
A deep silence full upon the bar-room
of the Cosmopolitan, as this important
truth was given forth, And a great many
jaws dropped, and numerous pa lis of arms
became burdens to their owners, as the
District Attorney gravely followed Mr.
Finnegan who, looking neither to the
right nor left, stalked solemnly to the sido
of the biide. Everybody felt oppressed
and uncomfortable, somewhat as one feels
on being presented at Court, if Ignorant of
the etiquette. General Ilardingo, in his
slight embarrassment, smilingly lifted a
pack of cards and shuffled them mechanic
ally. One-eyed Jim, the gambler, took
advantage of the occasion to slip an ace up
bis sloeve, and winked at General Ilar
dingo when he saw that gentleman observ
ing him.
"Hould on," murmured Mr. Brady,
swaying behind tho bar, " Mr. Lahyer,
have a sup before the work." "Thank
you," said the District Attorney, glad of
any excuse for delay, for he found with
alarm that his memory was - not near so
strong on the church service as be had
thought. But he knew that it wouldn't
do at all to look embarrassed, so he drank
gracefully to tho bride, and taking on a
grave frown, be buttoned his shirt at the
neck, and turned to the gaping assem
blage. "The friends will please gather in a
circle" Whilo this was being done on
tip-toe, the District Attorney scowled im
pressively. "The gentloman and lady
about to be united in the holy bonds of
matrimony will now please to stand up
tho gontlcman on the right and the lady
on the loft so. We will begin at your
convenience, madam."
This was addressed to the maternal
Brady, who, as if to add to the agony of
the purple bridegroom's position, bad
thrown bcr arms about her daughter's neck
and set up a howl. , The Goneral's lady
came to tho rescue, and drew off the fond
mother in the midst of her lamentations,
and soon the fearfully constrained silence
was restored.
" Dearly-bolovod brethren, (hem) !" be
gan the District Attorney in a sepulchral
tone, " dearly-beloved brethren ;" he paus
ed again to blow his nose and scowl around
at tho Flatters, who looked guilty
" Dearly-leloved brethren, we are gather
ed here in the sight of God, and in the face
of this company to to to in fact to mar
ry Mr. Finnegan and Miss Brady." The
District Attorney cleared his throat, and
seemed to challenge contradiction. " This
is commended of St. Paul to be honorable
among all men." Here the Attorney look
ed solemnly around again. One or two
of tho Flatters nodded assent, and Lanky
Tom went so far as to murmur, " You
bet, yer." "And therefore," continued
Brown, " is not to be entered into slightly,
but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, sober
ly, and in the fear of God, the laws of
California and " The District Attorney,
being in the mess again, had recourse to
his pocket handkerchief. The Flatters
improved the opportunity to relieve them
selves by changing their positions and
sighing. Mr. Finnegan also drew out a
colored handkerchief to mop bis brow, and
the brido accepted a sip from the tumbler
offered by the gallant General. Old Brady
still smiled stupidly behind the bar and
nodded approvingly.
" As I have said," resumed the Attorney
desperately, " It should not be entered
into lightly, but reverently, discreetly, and
and in short, Miss Brady, wilt thou
havo this man to be thy wedded bus.
band?" .
Miss Brady, after an anxious look at
the General's lady, murmured that she
would.
V And you, Mr. Finnogan wilt thou
have this woman to be thy wedded wife ?"
" Ay," said Mr. Finnegan, stoutly.
Again the District . Attorney was hope
lessly stuck. He scowled and pulled out
his handkerchief once more.
" And so you both say you will, do
you? Brown asked this as if clinching
some damaging admission of witness.
"Yis, sur," said Mr. Finnogan, with
tho air of standing by his colors at all haz
ards, i
"You do?"
"Yis, we do." Mr, Finnegan was be
coming nettled. There was no. time to
lose.
"Then bold up, your hands. . You,
Michael Finnegan, and you, Mary Brady,
do soleniuly swear that you tell the whole
truth, nothing but the truth, and the truth
only, so help you God ?" . ..
"Yis," gasped Mr. Finnegan.
" Then, according to the laws of Cali
fornia and the United States, I pronounce
you man and wife. Aud," added the Dis
trict Attorney, with his eyes rolled up
" What God hath joined let no man put
asunder amen 1"
Mo culm or decorous pen can describe
the extravagances of congratulation that
followed this impressive ceremony. Sir.
Brady half an hour afterwards was carried
up-stairs, and forty minutes later the
bridegroom was also borne to his chamber
insensible. After these to-be-expected
NEWSPAPER.
September 2, 1873.
preliminaries the company settled down to
solid enjoyment. In three hours after
tho retirement of the bride, every table
was a roof to at least one deeply slumbering
Flatter. By midnight only a party of four
had not succumbed. Their enjoyment was
poker. General Hardinge bad One-eyed
Jim for a vit-a-tit, and the District Attor
ney sat opposite Lanky Tom. They were
playing with that self-possessed excite
ment and quick-eyed eagerness belonging
to old poker devotees.
"Bet an ounce," said the General, in the
professional low tone, and reaching over to
snuff the candlo.
" I'm out" said the District Attorney, so
softly as scarcely to be beard above the
snores and gasps of the sleepers, who cov
ered the floor.
" So'm I" Baid Lanky Tom, giving a
sharp littlo kick to a gentleman on whom
be was warming his feet for moving.
"See your ounce and raise you two,"
said One-eyed Jim.
" Five better," quoth the General.
"See it call."
" Four kings." , .
" You stole'em," said One-eyed Jim,
drawing his revolver and putting bis band
on the pile of gold.
" You lie," answered tho General, and
shot him through tho head.
It was done before poor One-eyed Jim
could raise his pistol, and as the General
would in all probability have been killed
himself, but for his promptness, nobody
can blame him. Whether or not he stole
the kings is another and irrelevant ques
tion. .
This was tho view taken of it by the
Flat next morning, and as a publio mani
festation of confidence in the purity of the
Goneral's motives, every Flatter felt it a
duty to ask the General to drink., And
then, poor Ono-eyed Jim had not boen : a
favorite at the Flat. His profession having
been poker, many of the Flatters recalled
sundry losses and had their private belief
in an over-ruling Providence strengthened.
But there was nothing mean about the
Flat. It cheerfully voted a holiday to
bury One-eyed Jim. The District Attorney
was again pressed into the service as Mas
tor of the Ceremonies. A party was de
tailed to dig the grave in an old claim that
had once been tho property of the de
ceased. One-eyed Jim, in life, had a habit of
cursing this possession as the means of
driving him to poker, for be had never
seen the color in it after months of patient
working. , Another party made up a
rough coffin for the body, and then, after a
solemn, drink all round, the funeral cortege
left the Cosmopolitan tho coffin on a
rough bier, and General Hardinge follow
ing,' as chief mourner for the General
feelingly declared that no one more than
himself regretted the gentleman's misfor
tune. L
The .District Attorney began to think
he bad mistaken his profession. Previous
to the funeral, and while drinking at the
bar with the General, he had confided to
that gentleman that the ministry might
have been a more congenial field. He also
made a secret resolve to brush up on the
sacraments. We may write it to the credit
of the District Attorney that be made no
pretence of following the burial service
over the body of poor One-eyed Jim.' He
spoke movingly of the increased uncertain
ty of life and the many accidents incident
peculiarly to this new Western civiliza
tion. " The gentleman who has been the
unwilling cause of this unfortunate fellow
citizen's decease," said the District Attor
ney, looking soberly around among the
solemn crowd, and indicating the General,
who stood at the bead of tho grave, hat in
band, ; with ' a woe-begone expression,
"must, while regretting the necessity,
thank God that no lower law than that
universal one of self-preservation has."
At this instant, to the astonishment of
every one, the General threw up - bis bat
with a shout of joy and jumped Into the
grave. In a seoond be stood up with his
head just above the surface, and called
aloud to the amazed crowd, as he exhibited
a half-ounce nugget: Gentlemen, I give
uotice that I take up this claim for sixty
yards, two hundred feet each side, with all
its dips, spurs, &o., aooordiug to the laws
of the mining distriot of Brady Flat. 1
The body of poor One-eyed Jim was not
buried that day, ,nor the next, nor the
next, for all Biady Flat was wild with
tearing up the ground of the new diggings
and taking out the ohuuksof gold that have
made the flat famous. Then the disagree
able duty was done by the District Attor
ney and Mr. Finnegan at night, in ground
that they made sure was not auriferous.
7S Cents for 0 Months;
40 Cts.for 3 months.
IVo. 35.
" That marriage of Finnegan's was a
lucky speculation for me," Mr. Brown
says, when talking of '40, " for, besides
getting seven hundred dollars from t he
bridegroom for my services, I had a quar
rel with the rascally Goneral. He wasn't
so quick with me as he had been with poor
Jim, so I had the satisfaction of burying
him besides that poor follow two days af
ter, and then I jumped his claim and made
my fortune."
, A Strange Case of Mistaken Identity.
' A very remarkable case of mistaken
identity has just been revealed in Brook
lyn. 1
The New York Herald of the 15th ult.,
says : On the morning of the 3d of July the
body of a man, about 80 years of age, was
found in the water at the foot of Vandyke
street. ' The hand of the deceased was
firmly secured by a rope to a satchel, and
the satchel was found to contain seven
large flat-irons. It was also discovered
that the deceased had a bullet-hole in bis
head, and a box of percussion caps and
nineteen pistols cartridges in the bip
pockets of his pants. Some believed that
the man hod committed suicide, while
others were of the opinion that he had
met his death by foul play. If he had
been murdered, it was argued, he wonld
have been robbed, but it was found on
searching bis clothing that he had $21 in
his possession. . Strange as it may appear,
there was nothing about the body except
the clothing which would lead to his iden
tity. Coroner Jones being notified, caused
the body to be moved to the Brooklyn
Morgue, where it was reviewed by a large
number of persons who .- bad missing
friends i whose appearance corresponded
with that of the deceased.
Four days after the body bad been
taken , to tho Morgue, a lady residing in
Grand street, E. D., whose son-in-law has,
been missing for two or three weeks,
called at the morgue and positively rec
ognized the deoeased as that of the miss
ing man Charles Diehl. Diehl, she saidP
had married her daughter contrary to her
wishes, , and they had not lived very hap
pily together. He went off, she said, in a
fit of anger, and had in all probability
committed suicide. , His wifo knowing
his disposition better than her mother did,
said " No, " " if that is the body of Char
ley he was murdered. He never committed
suicide, for it was not like him." The
uncle of Diehl also visited the morgue, as
as well as others who knew him, and they
all wore firmly convinced that the unfortu
nate young man had come to a sad end.
His family were thrown in great grief and
set to work at once to make preparation
for his funeral. Diehl bad been employed
as agont for the Atlantic Life Insurance
Company in New York, and being pretty
well known in the vicinity in which be
residod, the funeral was largely attended.
The .body was put in the family plot and
Mrs. Diohl mourned the loss of a husband
to whom, with all his faults, she was
deeply attached, and dressed in the habili
ments of a widow., Time wore on and
nothing occurred until . yesterday to lead
her to suspeot for a moment that she was
not a widow. .;.;.
Yesterday, to hor unbounded astonish
ment, she received a letter from bor hus
band, who was, when be mailed the letter,
at Key West. . He wrote that he regretted
leaving her so abruptly; regretted bis
hasty temper ; said he was well, and hoped
that nothing had ooourred since his depart-'
ure from the oity that might oaute hor any
uneasiness further than ,what she might
feel concerning her erring husband.
It required considerable effort oo the
part of Mrs. Diehl, to read the letter, for,
as may be imagined, she almost fainted.
She would have been more . surprised bad
her husband, whom she supposed dead and
buried in the family plot, walked in and
held out bis hands to her, but the letter
was nearly as great..' She had buried some'
one for her husband perhaps somebody
else's husband, and who could it be ? Who
the man is who was buried by Mrs. Diebl,
is a mystery which will probably never be
solved, for now the remains have passed
beyond recognition. , . .... r :,
tSOi iu Dubois, a resident of San Jose,
California, bod in bis employ a young Chi-'
naman cook. The ' Chinaman fell in love
with Dubois' daughter, nged seventeen,,
but tbo vouncr ladv did nnt run! nnvmtn Mi
passion, lie obtained possession of her'
puotograpn, aud she ' demanded its return. .
Last week ho gave the picture back to ber,
and in the same instant fired three shots
at ber from a revolver. ' Her stool corsets '
turned the bullets, and she esoapod. 1'he
Chinaman blew his own brains out.