ITow is the Opportunity, and our Store is the Place.
ones tts
Seasoning a Ckickeu with Gunpowder.
A correspondent, in his " Wanderings
among the Tar-heels, says: I hear
rumors that the fowls are getting the
epizootic. I hope it won't go to the
legs, as it did with the horses. If it does,
the chicken pies . will have it badly
There is nothing on earth that has more
legs than a chicken pie it's all legs. I
was in a room in Wilmington to-day, and
mw a sight that filled me with so mnch
awe that I took a drink. It appears one
day in 1814 a female woman pat some
powder into a new chicken pie she was
building. She took it for black pepper.
It acted worse than emptyings or yeast ;
for when she pnt it on the 6toye, and the
warm atmosphere got into it, it made
the pie rise, bat it didn't make it light,
for it hain't lit yet. Those chicken legs
blew up into a room overhead, and stack
ta the wall in a row, and they have been
used for clothes'-pegs ever since. This is
a fact, for I hung my hat on one of 'em,
and it didn't have a brick in it, either.
The hole that that chicken pie made in
the woman's head is still to be seen in
the wall."
OUR P S AND Q S.
Prices low we males.
Politeness have we in store.
Purchase low, and try to
Prosper in the good old honest way.
Quality good have we, and
Quite a large stock.
'Quaintances very pleasant.
Queer how much business we do.
Query T Why is it!
! One Dollar will buy one hundred
cents worth of goods at our store.
We Must all confess
That we crave success.
In what e'er we try to do; - i
Then we'll try with our might.
And strive to do right.
And be honest brave and true.
If you are wise,
Tou win patronize, ' " ' t
We who advertise
In this our little paper;
Our Bugle we blow.
To let you all know,
. " We are ready to crow .
Because our goods are much " chaper',
than you can buy anywhere else in town.
The purest joy is unsptakable the
most impressive prayer is silent, and the
most solemn preacher at a funeral is the
silent one whose lips are cold.
- " If poor George had not bio wed into
tie muzzle of his gun sighed a rural
widow, at the funeral of her late hus-
bad, last Saturday, " he might have got
nlSBty of squirrels. It wasjsucA a good
uy fir them. ,
. sN N -
Yes, and they have got V
a splendid sfcookof GOODS.
I was in there yefer.
Jay and I declare it beats
alL .
I Mm. Smith told
me the
I am going
morrow for sure
same thing. M '
ng there & k-J My old man said
fnrKiirfl it was the best place
jba'ji.", in the state to get
ill
: Hi ! , .mm K I; !i.yYiii M
IS I I '?M
THIS FULLY EQUALS US AS AN ADVERTISING MEDIUM.
SOME INSTRUCTIVE FACTS.
There are about three thousand and
sixty-four langu;g..-s spoken in the world,
and its inhabitants profess more than one
thousand different religions. The num
ber of men is about equal to the number
of women. The average of human life is
about thirty-three years. One-quarter
die previous to the age ef seven years,
one-half before they reach seventeen, and
those who pass this age enjoy a felicity
refused one-half of the human species.
To every one thousand persons only one
reaches one hundred years of life; to
every one hundred, only six rench the age
of sixty-five ; and not more than one in
five hundred lives to be eighty j ears of
age. There are on the earth one billion
inhabitants, of these 33,333,333 die every
year, 91,824 every day, 8,730 every hour,
and sixty every minute, or one every sec
ond. The married are longer. lived than
the single, and above all, those who ob
serve ' sober and industrious conduct.
Tall men live longer than short ones.
Women have more chances of life in their
favor previous to their being fifty years of
age than men have, but fewer afterward.
The number of marriages is in proportion
of seventy-five to everv one thousand
individuals. Marriages are more frequent
after the equinoxes, that is, during the
months of June and December Those
born in the spring are mora robust than
others. .
Tommy, you're a pig," said a father to
his little son. Now, do you know what
a pig is Tommy?" "Yes; pig's a hog's
little boy."
"I wasn't so very late only a quar
, ter of twelve." " IIow dare you sjt there
and tell me that lie, I was awake when you
came in and looked at my watch it was
three o'olock." " Well, isn't three a quar
ter of twelve ?"
Sharp. An enterprising individual in
MimratinG. Iowa, advertises for men to
catch drift-wood out of the Mississippi
river as soon as the ice goes out and the
spring rise commences. If they will fur
nish their own boats, he generously adver
tises to give them half what they catch.
A scientific paper says: "Old boots and
shoes hive their uses a fact which few
persons realize'. We realized it the other
night when a regiment of cats held a jubi
lee under the chamber window. We ga
thered all the old shoes and boots in the
house and commenced the attack. In the
morning four dead Thomases were found
upon that ensanguined field of fray, and a
number of others were in the hospital.
After this we shall never deny that old
boots and shoes have 'their uses in this
world.
Where there is no Christian Sabbath
there is no Christian morality ; and with
out this, free institutions cannot be sus
tained. . . - -
We shall in each issue give a series of pictures of Popular Songs Illustrated.
PUT ME I
MY LITTLE,
BED.
... , ' "
M ' Low Prices
1 CVop of Teas! ( ' T
OTHELLO S OCCUTATION GONE.
liit Boy. Did you see that new paper
that's got out ?
2d Boy. Yes ; what's the use o tryin'
to make an honest livin anyhow. -
CM01T,Y0U CHEEKY RASCAL ;
I BtTTlRPAV Ur YOUR ULO
LAST YfARS BILL HRST
TFTHmV!!
.;ni'l(l!i Z-
VI '
ill , II it P eprrii 1 II XT ' -Jm
I ill; iii.t n I 'i v I.1 Kf w ' ui K. m i irw
This scene did not occur in curstore,
bnt it is very applicable in some cases.
We have made a full preparation
this Spring to do a larger business
than we have ever done before, and
have therefore supplied our stores with
a stock of goods fully competent to
supply the demands, no matter how
great the " run" may be. We are armed
and equipped for tne emergency. So,
therefore, m the words of Herr Patrick,
or Patrick Henry, "Let it come; I
repeat it, sir, let it come.'!
We take an extra amount of pains
in selecting our stock of Goods. Whfle
we make it a point to keep every vsrioty
in our line, we also make it a point to
keep a good supply of the bd goods in
market.