il If 1 1 it jbi 1: 'Siniii
rlr'l ' : AN INDEPENDENT FAMILY NEWSPAPER. jA''
V1. VII. ;Wow Bloomfleld, I"-' Tuesday, Juno 17, 1873. TVo.
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HOW TO MASS . SOTS KS0J7T.
r ;
AS BUHO BT JOBS THOMSON.
Now If you want to find oud bow to make good
sour krout, , ! J-
Toust listen. by my story, und I told you all
a bond; '
8onr krout ain't made from leather, like some
peeples mpposes, ' ;
But from dot bully flower vot dey call der cab
bage roses. ,.7 ..-Vj, !
'-. V. f CHOHPS.
Sour krout is bully J tlnk It's very flnej
Well I I guess I ought to' know, 'cos I eat
him all der time. , ,
We take him from der garten when he's sbmall
vot he can pe, ' '.' ' i
Und schop him up In pieces, as One as any tea;
We puts him In is tub nnd stamp' him mltour
feet,
Und stamp, nnd stamp, und stamp, und stamp;
' ' dot makes Um nice and sweet. - .
CUOBCS.
.. -i l i ),, r '
Uad den we put In blendy salt, but don't put In
no snuff, ' .
Nor any sykveum pepper, or any of dot stuff,
We put him In 'der collar den, till be p'eglns to
scbmell j'.' ' '.,u
. My gracious ha was pully, und ve Dutchmen's'
.. love hlra Tell. ; ,., ,r ,
" ' '" -i 1 ; '
;. CHOKUS. : :,, ... ,
Now when beschmells all he can schme'll, und
don't kin tcUmell no schmeller,
Ve go down by der tub vot ve put down lp der
. cellar ;
Ve put some In a pot mlt spec nnd let him bile,
Und every von can' schmell him den for fifty
thousand mllns.
: . i .'Ooj
cnoRcs.
....'
Wli6 Tom MarriecL
WE bod just flashed breakfast. Tom
laid down the 'egg-spoon be bad
been playing-with, and looked across at
mother.
"Aunt Anne, I think I'll take a wife,"
he said, exactly as be might have said
"I think I'll take another cup of oofiee." -
"Takd a wife?"' repeated mother, by
no means receiving the information as
tranquilly as it bad been given. " What
for?"
" Well, I don't know," answered Tom,'
thoughtfully. "It's a notion I've got in
my head somehow." ''', r'' ' ' , J
' f'AU nonsense 1" said mother, sharply.
" Do you tbink so ?" said Tom,' appar
ently doubtful, but not in the loast put
out.
" Think so? I know it. . What ia tbe
world can you want of a wife. After all
these years we have lived so comfortably
together to bring home somebody to turn
tbe bouse upside down I And tbeu what's
to become of Unit poor child ?' '
Tbe "poor, child" that was I redden
ing at being brought into the argument in
this way, was about to speak for herself
when Tom interposed, warmly.
" I am sure Hay knows I would never
have any wife ' who would make it loss a
home for her don't you May ?"
1 "Of course," said I.
. . , " And I'm sure she knows nothing of
the, port, ,',,rerhtd mother,' "nor: you
, either, Tom . Dean. , How can you answer
for what . a wife may take it into ber bead
to. do, once you get her fixed here t . lYou
oan't expect ber to forgot, as you doj that
Hay has no real claim on you,"
" That I bavo no real claim on her,
suppose you mean, ma'm," Tom put in for
the second time, just as I was getting
thoroughly i uncomfortable. ,i " But, for all
that, I intend to keep her that is," added
Tom with one of bis short-sighted blinks
sideways vt me, " as long as she'll stay
with me, eh, Hay? And whoever has any
thing to say against that arrangement will
have to go out of ' my house to say it not
that I'm afraid of any such result in this
case and, on the - whole, Aunt Anne, I
should like to try tbe experiment."
Mother smiled grimly, but Tom was so
evidently bent on bis " experiment," as he
called it, that she gave up the argument
" You can dance if you're ready to pay ,
the piper," . she said, shortly. . " And
pray how soon do'' you mean to be mar
ried?" . ,.
Tom's face fell a little at this question.
"Well,',': said he, "I can' say exactly..
I suppose we shall ;have ,to, be, engaged
first." ... .. v... .
. ; " What rv said mother, opening hor
eyes; " why you never mean to say,, Tom,
you haven't spoken to her yet ?" ( ,
, " Not yet," answered Tom, cheerfully.
"Time enough for that, you know, after
I had spoken to you." ,, , ." .
Mother, as a minister's widow, was not
much given to tbe idle mirth that is as the
crackling of thorns under a pot, but now
Bbe leaned back and laugbed till the . tears
stood in her eyes. '
"Well," she said, "if it was anybody
else I should say he was cracked; but you
never were like other people, and you nev
er will be, Tom Dean. But, at least, you :
have fixed on the lady?"1 ' ,
" " Oh, yes," answered Tom, ' but, if you
will excuse me, Aunt Anne, I would rather
not say anything about her just yet; for
if if anything should happen it wouldn't ,
be pleasant to either party, ybtt know." ' ..
' With which veiled allusion to his possi- j
ble rejection Tom took his hat and loft the
room. ,'',"'' "' ' ' ''v''' '' '''''
' Our household was 'rather queeily put
together.'. There was' no particular reason,
why I should have be en of It at all; for I
was not really related to Tom, nor even to
" mother," as I called ber, though I am
sure we were as dear to one another as any
mother i and daughter could be. She was
the' second ' wife of. my father, ' who, like
ministers, bad been richer In grace than in
floods, "and bad left us ' at his death with
very little ;to live o'm ' Th'en It' wis tbat
Tom Dean bad come forward and insisted
on giving a home to liis aunt and to mo,
whom be had scarcely seen a dozen times.1
in bis life before. That was exactly like
Tom 'J quoor Tom Dean,'",' as his friends
were, fond of saying,' " who never did any
thing like anbody else!" I suppose, lit.
spite of .' his clear head for business, there
is no denying that he was whimsical, but I
am sure, when I think of his unfailing
generosity and delicacy, I can't help wish
ing there were a few more such whimsical
people in the world'. .''Naturally, at the
time I am speaking of, my opinion had not
been asked; all I had to do was to go where
mother went, and, while she gave her en
ergies to tbe housekeeping, give mine to
growing up, which by this time I bad pret
ty well , accomplished. But perhaps for
that very reason for one sees with differ
ent eyes at. twelve and eighteen my posi
tion In the house bad already begun to
seem unsatisfactory to me; and the morn
ing's words put it in a clearer light, since it
had been used as an argument against
Tom's marrying. I knew that mother had
spoken honestly, believing that such a step
would not be for his happiness;' but was
not be the best judge of that?, I knew bim,
if reflection should bring him round to her
opinion, to be perfectly capable of quietly
sacrificing his own wishes for my sake, who
had no.t the shadow of a claim on him; so
it must be my part to prevent his own
kindness being turned against him ' now.
Still, it was not so easy to see how I was to
provide for myself in case it should become
advisable. What could I do ? Draw and
sing and play tolerably, but not In a man
ner to compete with the boats tbat would
be in the field against me. Literature?
I had read so many stories whose heroines,
with a turn of tbe pen, dashed into wealth
and fame. , That would be very nice, only
I was not in ' .the least little bit literary ;
I had never even kept , a journal, which is
saying a great deal for a girl in her teens.
The " fine arts," then, being out of tbe
question for me, what remained ? ' There
was some . clerkship, or a place in some
family, ,, and and there was Will Broom-
That may seem like going away ' from
the point, but it was hot. ' I was matter of
fact, but I could see well enough what was
going oi) right under my eyes,' and I had a
pretty clear idea of what was bringing Will
to the bouse so ' often as he had taken to
coming lately'', There was a ' situation,"'
then, that would give me the home life I
liked best and felt myself best suited for
but would It answer in other 'respects? I
overcast the long seam I was 'sewing twice
over, I was so busy trying to make up my
mind whether. I liked Will Broomleywell
enough to pass my whole life with him;
and even then I had not come to any decis
ion, when I was called down stairs to Letty
Walters.. '
Letty was the prettiest, I think, of all my
friends, and certainly the liveliest. Tom
called her " the tonic," : and used to laugh
heartily at her bright speeches. , I suppose
it was this made mother fix on Letty as
his choice. - When I , came into the sitting
room I found a kind of cross-examination
going on, It was amusing to anybody in
the secret, as I was,, to watch mother's art
ful way of continually bringing the conver
sation round,, as if by chance, to . bear on
what., she wanted to know. But it all
amounted to nothing, either because Letty
was ,oo good a foncer or because or . she
really', had nothing to , betray. But when
Tom came home mother took care to, men
tion that Letty had called. . . , . , .
" What, the .tonic ?" said Tom. ' Too
bad I missed her," , ... ,
"But for your choice being already
made," said mother, with a covert scrutiny
of his face, ' " I dare say you might have
as much of the tonic as you lik,ed." '''' '
' But I go on the homeopathic principle,
you know," answered Tom, with a twinkle
in his eye. " ! ' ' ' ' ' ' '
' After that, mother's belief in Letty's
guiltiness wavered; ' Tier suspicions ' were
transferred from one to another of bur ac
quaintance, but always' with the same un
satisfactory result. ' '" -A " (''
"It passes my comprehension," she said
to me, despairingly, one day. ' " I am posi
tive I could tell the right one ,by Tom's
face in a minute, and yet I have mentioned
everybody we knpw."( , t , i ' , ,
Perhaps it is somebody we don't
know," suggested; , some friend of his
we have never seen.", , , , . , , j
, " What ! a perfect stronger ?'( said mpth
er, sharply. , ," Never talk to me, child ;
Tom's not capable of that I".
' " I was silent, for I did not want to wor
ry ber;' but that was my opinion all the'
same. '' ' ' ' '. 1 ' , '"'." "" .
' The same evening it was rather 'more
than' a week since Tom bad hurled tbat
thunderbolt', of "his at us mother began
about it openly;" " '. ";'- "' ""' ' ''
"When are you going to introduce 'youi
wife to us, Tom ? I suppose you have come
to an understanding by this time?"'" '"'
f'6h, there's no hurry,"' Torn said, as be
had said before ; ', but this ilme he did hot
speak quite so cheerfully. ' " The fact is,"
he continued ' with a little hesitation,
"there there's a rival in the case."'"'' '
"A rival 1" replied mother, with unfeel
ing briskness'.' "" ' -'' ;:
' '' " Yes, "a young fellow younger by .a
good deal than I am," and Tom's face as
sumed an absurdly doleful look. ''"He's
always thoi-etiow. ' !I confess ' I don't see
my way clear; I'm waiting for her to make
up hermind." ' ' ' '
" And she's watting, most likely, for you
to make up yours," said mother, forgetting,
in her propensity to right matters, that she
was playing the enemy's gamel ' '
' "There's something in that, that 'never
occurred to me,'" said Tom,' his face
brightening. Mother saw her mistake
and made a counter move at once.' '
. " But the waysf ' my time are old-fashioned
now; young ladles nowadays take
matters into their own bands. ' If she cared
for you, you may be pretty sure she
wouldn't have waited till this time to let
you know it that is, I judge by tbe girls
I am in the habit of seeing; but if this one
is a stranger to me -" (here mother riv
eted her eyes on Tom's face oh, dear, my
unfortunate words !) " if she is an entire
stranger I cannot pretend to form any opin
ion of ber course," , '
"Of course," repeated Tom, absently..
" Not tbat I have any such idea," re
sumed mother, growing warmer; "I have
said, and I say again, that to bring a ' per
fect stranger under this roof Is not my
opinion of you, Tom." ' '
I felt mother's words like so many pins
and needles; " for Tom' was looking medita
tively across at me, and, though that was
just a way of his, it seemed now as if he
were reading in my face that the opinion
was mine and that I had been meddling in
what did not concern me, I felt myself, for
very vexation, getting . redder every mo
ment, t(ll it grew intolerable. ' '
" " It is so warm bore," I said, for an ex.
ense, turning toward the French window;
" I ain 'going to get a breath of air." ' "
" I went out into our little strip of 1 garden
ground j Tom followed." " ''
' I thought' I should never have a better
opportunity to say what I had in my mind
to say', so' I waited for him by the bench
under the old pear tree.' 1 ''''" 1 - '
" Sit down here, Tom," I said, i " I've
something to say to you."
' " Have you?" said Tom; "that's odd,
for I . ' Well, never mind that just yet.
What is it, May?" ... : .' i
"Tom," I said, still surer now he bad
misjudged me, and more1 resolved to sot
him right, "I want a place.1"' ' ' 1
"A place?" repeated Tom, ' puzzled, as
well he might be, by this sudden and
indefinite announcement J' "what kind of a
place?: ' '- "'- ' i
'' "I don't know," I said, for,' indeed, my
ideas' , were the most . vague. ' "I thought
you might, being ' in ' the way of those
things. Now, pray, Tom, I went on,
quickly, . " don't fancy. I am discontented,
or or anything of that Sort; the truth is,
ever since I loft off school I have wanted
something to do, and had it in my mind to
speak to you about it." ' ' ' ' '
With this I looked at Tom, fearing be
might be vexed; but he did not look vexed,
only preoccupied. ' ' ' ' :
" I do know' of a place ' as it happens, " he
said, after a while, "only I'm not sure how
it would suit you." ' "
"That's soon seen," said I. " What is
it like? " 1 ''" ' " ' 1 " " :
" Well, it's a sort of of general useful
ness" '
" Why! it must be to run errands," said
I, laughing. ' And where is it, Tom ?" '
"Well," said Tom, hesitating again,
"it's with me." " ' . . : ; '
' " How very nice r I exclaimed. " How
soon can I have it?" 1 ' :
" The sooner the better, so far as I am
concerned," said Tom, and with that he
turned around and looked at me, ' and di
rectly I met his eyes I knew somehow,' all
in a moment, what it was he meant' ; ' and
I knew,' too, that I eould not have ' passed
all my life with Will Broomley, and why
I could not. ' ' ' ' ' ' i " ' : ''
' 1 am sure Letty Walters, who interrupt
ed us just then, ' must 1 have' thought my
wit4 were wandering that Evening, and, in
deed, they were! fori was completely daz
ed with this Sudden turn things bad taken.
But Tom, 'who had the! advantage' of me
there,"'took it quite 'coolly,1 and laughed
arid talked with ' Letty just the same' as
dVer till she-went away. ' 1 1 -: ' ' . '
''It Was pretty late ''when1 we went in.
jfother sat where we had left her, knitting
in the twilight. t .1
i " Wasn't tbat Letty Walters with you a
while ago?" she said, as we came up. ., j
' Yes," said I, with a confused feelipg
of an explanation of something being neces
sary ; " she ' just came to bring the new
crochet pattern she promised me." ' "
"H'ml". said mother! as much as to
say she had her own ideas as to what Letty
came for. , , . , . j
Tom had beeu wandering about the room
in an absent sort of manner, taking up and
putting down in the wrong places ' an the
small objects that ' fell' in his way.' Ho
came up and . took a seat by mother..' j I
became of a 'sudden very busy . with the
plants in the, window, for I knew he was
going to tell her.. ' ' , ' " .' "
" Wish me joy, Aunt Annie," said he,
"It's all settled.', .
. "Settled, is It," said mother, in anything
but a joyful tone. ' " So it's as I suspected
all along. Well, you have my best wishes,
Tom ; perhaps you may be happy together
after all. I'm sure I hope so." .'
' This was'nt a very encouraging sort of
congratulation, and Tom seemed rather
taken aback by it.
"I'm sorry you're not pleased," he said,
after a pause ; " I had an idea somehow
you would be." ' -! ' 1
"I don't know from what you judge.
But there, it's no use crying over spilt milk.
You'll be married directly, I presume ; I
must be looking ont for a house," and
mother stroked her nose reflectively with
a knitting needle. ' '
' " What for?" Bald Tom, "I thought of
keeping on here all the same." . ''
" I never supposed ' otherwise," said
mother. "Of course I did not expect to
turn you out of your own house.". '. '
But what is the use of looking out for
another, then?" ' : i
"Why, for myself." '
"For yourself I" 1 repeated Tom, ' In a
tone of utter amazement. "Going to
leave us Just now r" : Why' Aunt Anne, I
never beard of sooh a thing I" . ' . ,
"Now, Torn;" said ' mother, ' speaking
very fast, and making her needles 1 fly in
concert, " we might as Well come to an un
derstanding at once on this subject. 1 - I am
fully sensible of your past kindness now
just let me finish I say I' appreciate It,
and have tried to do my duty by you in re
turn, as I hope I shall always be ready to
do; I wish all good to you and your wife,
and shall be glad to help her if I can, but
to live in the same house with her- is what
would turn out pleasantly for beltherof us,
and, once for all, I can't do it."
" Aunt Anne," said Tom, pushing back
his chair, ''and staring in mother's excited
face, " oither you or I must be Out of our
wits." ' ':
" If s not me, then, at any rate," retort
ed mother, getting nettled. '
Amused and " a ' certain ' embarrassment
had kept trie a silent listener so far,' but
there was no standing this ; I tried to speak,
but could notfor laughing.'';'"''' " "' ",'
f I think you are all out of your, wits to
gether," said mother, turning to me sharp
ly. . " What alU the child? It Is no laugh
ing matter." , , (,;, .
, "You don't understand each other," I
gasped. " Oh, dear ! it's not Letty oh
oh, dear 1" and relapsed again.
Not Letty !" 'repeated mother, turning
to Tom. " Then why did you tell me so?"
"I never told you so,"' said Tom."
" Why, yes you did," persisted mother.
" Yon came in and told me you were goini;
to be married." ' '.''''""I
' " Yes, so I am,,'' said Tom, still at cross
purposes. ' ' " ,v- '" ''
"Now, Tom Dean," said Mother,1 rising
and confronting him, " what do you mean ?
who is going to be your Wife?"
"Why, May,' of course," answered Tom.
" May !" and then, after a pause Of inex
pressible astonishment, it was'' mother's
turn to laugh. "Do you mean to say,
Tom, it was that child you were' thinking
of all the time?" " """' '
"Why, -who else could "if be?'" asked
Tom, simply." ' ; '''fi
, IWellsaid, mothef, ! ought to have
remembered you , never, did do anything
like anybody else. . But still,, why iu the
world did you go to work in such round
about way?" ,'" "
"I wanted1 to see how you, tooi: my idea, "
said Tom. , " ' '
And how did you suppose" we" were to
guess your Idoa meant May ?"' inbther
asked, .r,', ' .' ''. '.' "
. " Who else could Jt be?' repeated' Tom,
falling back on what be evidently found an
unanswerable argument. ' It was "no 'use
talking to him. Mother gave it 'up ; with
ashakeof the head. ' ' .ft1
"And you Won't want' auotiiet1 houte
then, Aunt Anna?" said Tom, 'suddenly.
That set - mother off again j Tom; joined
with her, ' and altogether I don't think we
ever passed a merrier evening than the one
in which 1 found out who Tom 'was to
marry. ''', "l!
''i -' H,-rt,.r'
, ; . i AFnnny Case.,., ; , iC,.,
i i- ' : ' i': i..."-
. Akron, .Ohio, has a funny temporanco
case, A rum-seller, whom t, will call HI
Church, because be was. U high" most of
the time, had been sued several times for
damage done by his rum on citizens of the
town. One man came out drunk and
smashed a big glass window. He was too
poor to pay for it, and the owner came
against Church. A boy about sixteen got
drunk and let a horse run away with him,
breaking his arm. His father made Church
pay the damage.! A , mechanic; got drunk
and was killed on the. railroad track, and
his wife sued Church for $3,000 and got it..
A farmer got drunk and was burned in his
barn on the hay. His sou . sued Church
and reoovered. . Church got sick of paying
out so much money for personal and prop
erty damages. It ate up all the rumseller's
profits. .Still be, acknowledged thej law to
be a statute, and that it made him respon
sible for all the damages done' by his rum.
He used to argue, also,, that sometimes his
rum did people good, and then' tie!'1 said
he ought to receive something baoki ' ''
. One day lawyer, Thompson got to' drink
ing, Thompson was mean, like many other
lawyers, and when he died of the delirium
trenwnt there wasn't much mourning iu
Akron. , There wasn't anybody who cared
enough for Thompson to sue Church for
damage done. So, one day, t'huroh went
before the court himself. v i .,
' M What, does Mr. Church ; want ?". ask
the Justice... i . . i' ,' . .. TO hI.'.i
. " I tell you what, Judge,;; commence. I
the rum-seller, ''when my., tum killed that
mechanic Johnson and farmer Mason, I
came down like. a man. I paid tba damage
and squared up. like a Christian now
didn't I Jedge?" .,,;nij
. " Yes,you paid the: damage,; Mr Church;
but what than?" , j.,,,t
" Wall, Jedge, my rum did good deal
to'rds kiUln'Mawyer .Thompson now, and
it 'pear term when I kill a lawyer I kin
der ongbtex got a rebait 1? , , ,t,H (