Mick Murphy and the Ghost
AN incident occurred in the hotel of one
of the picturesque marine Tillage
which skirt Lake Fontcbnrtrain, on a cer
tain occasion last summer, that effectually
served to dUpol the listless ennui too prev
alent in such places. Among the guests
there, for the time being, was one Michael
Murphy, nn eccentric, good natured soul,
that used to be par excellence in the land
of potatoes, bnt which may now be called
potatoolcss land. Uo had been on a big bunt
in the city,Ttnd went over the to lake to dis
pel tho fumes of his debauch, nnd take salt
baths nnd soda water at the same time.
All this became known to the ventrilo
quist who had paid a flying visit to that
place, and who had such command over his
voice that he could make it do anything,
from the squeaking of a pig under the gate
to the singing of a mocking bird. Believing
that Michael was just about that time in an
impressiblo state in a reformatory mood
he thought he would, through the mediant
of his art endeavor to effect a favorable
change in bis morals. With this view he
booked his name for a bed in the same
room with Michael, at about twelve o'clock
at night that hour to superstitious minds
so ifraught with tenor he pitched his
voice outside the door, saying in a trom
bone tone :
" Michael Murphy 1 Michael Murphy I
are you asleep f "
Who's that?" said Miohael.much start
led at the sepulchral tone in which the
query was put, and the time of puting it.
"Ask 'me not, but answer," said the ven
triloquist, still continuing his ghost like
accent.
" Well, what have you got to say ?" said
Michael.
" Much of which I want you to take
notice," said the ventriloquist, or rather
the ventriloquist voice.
"O, clear off," said Michael, "or else
I'll give you your tay."
" Bettor hnd you continued to take tea
than to break the pledge, as you have
done," said the voice outside the door.
" What's all this noise about?" eaid the
ventriloquist, speaking from the bed.
" Berne dirty blackguard that's outside
the door there," said Michael, "intorfurin
with what's none of his business."
" Why don't you drive him from It?"
said the ventriloquist from the bed.
"I wish he dare," said the voice outside
the door.
"Be jahers, I'll let you see I dare,"
said Michael, jumping up, seizing his hick
ory, and hurriedly opening tho door, ready
on sight to knock down the annoyer.
"Give it to him said tho ventriloquist
from tho bed.
" Be gorry, I believe It's the Old Boyjiim
self was it," said Michael, " for I don't
see a soul here."
" It's very mysterious said the ventrilo
quist from the bed.
"I wonder," said Michael, "if there's
any evil spirits in this country ?"
"I don't know said the ventriloquist,
"but they say the ghost of the departed
Indians haunt this place."
"O," that was no Indian's ghost," said
Michael, " for it spoke as good English as
I do myself."
" And a little bettor, Michael," said the
voice, as proceeding from one standing by
his side.
"O, the cross o' Christ about us," said
Michael. ' " What are you, at all at all ?"
"No evil spirit, but your guardian
genius," said the voice.
" A mortal queer janious you are," said
Michael, "that can be heard and not seen."
" Get into bed then," said the voioe, " I
have something to say to you."
" You won't do anything bad to mo,"
said Michael.
" Nothing," said the voice.
" Honor bl ight ?" said Miohaol
" Honor bright," said the voice, "you
know you have been a hard liver."
"That's a fact," said Michael.
"You broke the pledge," said the voice.
" Mere than I ever could keep a tally
of," said Michael.
"Then you'll pledge yourself to me, that
you'll change your modo of life?" said the
voice. '
" I'll do any tiling you ask me," said
Michael.
"Then I'm off," said the voice, "but
remember if you attempt to break it I'll be
present and punish you through life."
" Who is that with whom yeu are hold
ing conversation ?" said the ventriloquist,
speaking again from the bod.
"Devil aoue at all," said Michael,
"barriu some mighty polite, invisible
gentlemau, that seems to take a great In
terest in my welfare."
" O, you are dreaming," said the ven-
triloquiitt continuing to speak in his proper
voice.
"Faix, it's like a dream, sure enough,
said Michael. .
Tne next mornina a friend asked Mi
chael to take his bitters. Ho eousunted,
but just as he took the glass in bis hand,
the voice of the ventriloquist, who was
proseut, was heard above bis bead, in the
air, crying out: "Touch It not, Michael
Murphy remember your promise." It
was enough, Michael would not taste.
" The pleasure of the wine with you Mr.
Murphy," said a gentlemau at the table.
" With pleasure, sir," said Michael, but
just at that moment a voice was heard to
issue from the corner of the room it was
that of the ventriloquist, who sat by his
side, uttering his admonition.
Thus the thing went on for a week, till
Michael was then and forevor made a te
totaler. He now Industriously minds his
business, enjoys good health and prospers.
In relation to the oircumstanoes under
which he became a tetotaler, h'o says he
never bad the pleasure of seeing his best
friend.
A Famous Actor.
rrinE Sunday Timet, of London, answer-
ing a corrosponaent, revives tne mem
ory of the onco famous Joe Holmes, who
died in 1701. He is said to have been a per
son of gieat facet iousness and readiness of
wit, which, together with bis inimitable
performances on the stago as a comedian,
introduced bim not only to tho acquaint
ance, but the familiarity of persons oi the
first rank. His forto seems to have been in
speaking prologues and epilogues, particu
larly those written by himself.
Anthony Aston said, " Joe Haines is
more remaricauio lor uio witty, tnougn
wicked pranks ho played, and for his pro
logues and epilogues than for acting. He
was a first-rate dancer. After ho had made
his tour of France, be narrowly escaped
being seized and sent to the Bastile for per
sonating an English peer, and running
8,000 livres in debt, but, happily, lauding
at Dover, he went to London. However,
this affair spoiled Joe's expiring credit, for
next morning a couple of bailiffs seized
him In an aotion of 20, as the Bishop of
Ely was passing by in his coach. Quoth
Joe to the bailiffs, " Gentlemen, here is my
cousin, the Bishop of Ely, going into his
house; lot mo spoak to him,andho'll pay the
debt and charges." The bailiffs thought
they might venture that, as they were
within three or four yards of him. So up
goes Joe to the coach, pulling off his hat,
and got close to it. The bishop ordered
the coach to stop, whilst Joe, olose to his
ear, said, softly, "My lord, hore are two
poor men who have such great scruples of
conscience that I fear they will hang them
selves." '.Very well," said tho bishop ; so, call
ing to the bailiffs, he said, " You two men
come to mo to-morrow morning and I'll sat
isfy you." The men bowed and went away.
Joe hugging himself with this device, also
went his way. In the morning, the bailiffs,
expeoting the debt and charges, repaired to
the bishop's. "Well," said he, "what are
your scruples of conscience?"
"Scruples," said the bailiffs, "we have
no scruples. Wo are bailiffs, my lord, who
yesterday arrested your cousin, Joe Haines,
for 20. Your lordship promised to satisfy
us to-day, and we hope your lordship will
be as good as your word." Tho bishop,
rellocting that his honor and name would bo
exposed if ho complied not, paid the debt
and charges.
The Flsliorinuu and tho Sen Swallow.
An interesting association exists between
the sea swallows and tho fisherman of Lake
Falagerl, in Lapland. In tho centre of this
lake is an island on which the fishermen
build their huts in summer. At early
dawn the sea swallow gather round these
huts, and their cries admonish the occu
pants that it is time to begin the day's
work. The boats are hardly loosened from
thoir moorings whon the birds Btart out to
find a spot whore the fish are abundant.
The boatmen are governed entirely by the
movements of tho swallow. When the
birds stop and rodoublo thoir cries, the fish
ermen know they have found a spot where
they will bo repaid for thoir labor. They
hasten forward, cast their nets, and soon
have the satisfaction of finding thorn well
filled. In accordance with the old maxim
that the laborer is worthy of his hire, the
swallows roceivo their share of the booty.
Every fish that the fishermen throw up in
the air is gracefully caught by the birds;
and, indeed, they are so tame that they
sometimes come into the boats and help
themselves out of tho nots. If one spot be
comes non-productive, the birds lead the
way to another. ' Toward evening men and
birds return to the island, and tho birds
hasten to clear tho boats of the share left
behind for them by the fishermen.
A Loug Engagement.
About 00 years ago, John Griswold Ro
gers, of East Lymo, Conn., fell in love with
Eliza D. Griswold, aud in 1817 the couple
were betrothed and doubtless commenced
to talk about fixing the wedding day.
There appears, however, to have been more
than tho usual dificulty In deciding the
question ; at least, it was not until last
Thanksgiving day that the ceremony took
place, when the bride and groom had reach
ed tho ages respectively of 78 aud 79. Both
parties, however, boloug to a long lived
race, and look forward to a wedded life of
no short duration.
Enlzooty Dries up a Cow.
A case occurred near Bridgeport, Coun.,
where food left by a horse having tha epi
zootic was given to a cow, and she was
similarly ail'outod. Though she has now
recovered, and eats her regular allowance
of food, she bas suddenly dried up. Pre
vious to her sickness she gave nine quarts
of milk daily, :
Milking a Fortune
S'
bank. He was poor but honest, aud
bis life was without roproach. The trouble
with bim was that he felt that he was not
appreciated. His Balary was only four
dollars a week, nnd whon he asked to have
it raised the President, the ' Cashier and
the Board of Directors glared at him
through thoir spectacles, and frowned on
him, and told him to go out and stop his.
insolonco; when he knew business was dull
and tho bank could not meet its expenses
now, let alone lavish one dollar a week on
such a miserable worm as Samuel McF .
And then Samuel McF folt depressed
and sad, and tho haughty scorn of the
President and the Cashlor cut him to the
soul. He would often go into the side yard
and bow his venerable twenty-four inch
head, and weep gallons of tears over his
insignificance, and pray that he might be
worthy of the Cashior's and President's
polite attention.
One night a happy thought struck him ;
a gleam of light burst upon his soul, and
gazing down the dim vista of years with
his eyes all blinded with joyous tears, he
saw himself rich, honored and respected.
So Samuel McF looked around and got
a jimmy, a monkey wrench, a cross cut
Baw, a cold chisel, a drill, and about half a
ton of gun powder and nitro-glycerino, and
all those things. Then in the dead of night
he went to the fire-proof safe, and after
working at it for a whilo, burst the door
aud brick into nn immortal smash with
such porfoct success that there was not
enough of that safe left to make a carpet
tack. McF then proceeded to load up
with coupons, greenbacks, currency and
specie, and to nail all the odd change that
was lying anywhere, so that he pranced out
of the bank with over one million dollars
on him. He then retired to an unassuming
residence out of town, and cent word to
the detectives where he was.
A detective called on him one day with a
soothing note from the Cashier. Mr. MoF.
treated it with lofty scorn. Detectives
called on him every day with humble notes
from the President, Cashlor and Board of
Directors. At last the bank officers got
up a magnificent supper to which Mr. McF.
was invitod. He camo, and as the bank
officers bowed down in the dust before him,
he pondored over the bitter past, and his
soul was filled with wild exultation. Before
be drove away in his carriage that night, it
was all fixed that McF. was to keep half a
million of that money and to be unmolested
if he returned the other half. Ho fulfilled
his contract like an honest man, but refus
ed with haughty disdain the offer of the
Cashier to marry his daughter.
Mao is now honored and respected. He
moves In the best socioty ; he goes around
in purple and fine linen and other fine
clothes, and enjoys himself first-late. And
now he takes his infant son on his knee
and tells him of his early life, and instils
holy principles into the child's mind, and
shows him how, by industry and persever-
anco, frugality and' nitro-glyccriue, monkey.
wrenches, cross-cut saws and familiarity
with tho dotectivo system, even tho poor
may rise to influence aud respectability.
Mark Twain.
Wanted A Boj with Ten Points.
1. Honest. 2. Pure. 8. Intelligent. 4.
Active. 5. Industrious. 0. Obedient. 7.
Steady. 8. Obliging. 0. Polite. 10. Neat.
One thousand first-rate placos are open for
one thousand boys who come up to the
standard. Each boy can suit his taste as
to the kind of business he would prefer.
The placos are ready in every kind of oc
cupation. Many of them are already filled
by boys who lack some of the most impor
taut points, but they will soon be vacaut.
One is in an office not far from where we
write. The lad who bas the situation is
losing his first point. He likes to attend
the circus and the theatre. This costs
more monoy than ho can afford, but some
how he manages to be there frequently.
His employers are quietly watching to learn
how he gets so much extra spending moil
ey ; they will soon discover a leak in the
rooney-drawoi',iletect the dishonest boy, and
his plactf will be ready for some one who
is now getting ready for it by observing
point No. 1, and being truthful in all his
ways. Some situations will soon be vacaut,
because the boys have been poisoned by
reading books, such as they would not dare
to show their fathers, and would bo asham.
ed to have their mothers see. The impure
thoughts suggested by these books will lead
to vicious acts ; tho boys will be ruined aud
their places must be filled. Who will be
ready for those vacancies? Distinguished
lawyers, useful ministers, skillful physl
clans, successful merchants, must, nil soon
leave their places for somebody else to fill.
One by one they are removed by death
Mind your ton poiuts, boys ; they will pre
pare you to step into vacancies! in tho frou
rauu. .every man wno is worthy to oni
ploy a boy is looking for you, if you have
the points. Do not fear that you will be
overlooked. A young person having these
qualities will shine as plainly as a star at
night.
2T Life nocordlng to the' Arabia prover
is composed of two parts that which is
past, a dream, and that which Is to come,
a wish. '
SUNDAY HEADING.
A Beautiful Illustration.
God knows everything. He knows you
through and through. He knows the most
secret parts of your life. He knows your
slus. He knows your sins In their origin,
in their devolopmont, in their full form, in
their ten theusand obsoure forms. He
knows your sot rows. He knows everything
about you. Come to God because you are
naked and open bofore him.
When a man is hard pressod for money,
he goes to the bank, and slaps down his
securities, and says, " I must have twenty
thousand dollars ; here are the securities.
If it is not convenient for you to let me
have the money, I will go to my "
Oh, yes oh, yes ," says the banker.
He thinks the man is all right, and lets
him have the twenty thousand dallars, be
cause he is so bold ; and the man put on
boldness because ho wanted to make an
impression.
But suppose the banker knows every
thing about the man what bad dobts he
has ; just how hard it is for him to collect
them ; just bow much he has to pay his
notes with; how impossible it is for him to
get the required amount ; how his creditors
are urging him; and how some of his notes
are going to protest in the afternoon at
three o'clock ; and suppose, knowing all
these things, he should beckon to him, and
say, " Look here; come in ; I have been
watching for yon ; I know all about you ;
and I want you, whon you need any
neip to call on me. 1 am well ac
quainted with your affairs. I know all
about yeur expectations. I know whore
you broke down. Your circumstances are
plain and open 'bofore mo. And when you
are in noed of assistanco, come ricut to
me !" Oh, what a load would roll off from
the man's mind ! lie has been trying to
get help by putting on appearances, and he
has found it hard work ; but if there is a
man with a real kind heart, who, having
the power of money behind him, calls him
in, and says, " You are naked and open
before me; I know all about you, nnd nil
about your business; I know where you
were tempted to go wrong, and where you
went wiong ; I know what your mistakes
have boon ; I know what bad dobts you
have ; I know what your expectations were;
now come and I will help you," what
relief it must be to him 1
Now you cannot find any such bankers
in Now York ; but it is just on that ground
that God says, " I know all; therefore come
boldly." Beeeher. '
Itcnuty of Old People.
Mod and womon make their own beauty
and their own ugliness. Lord Lytton
speaks in one of his novels, of a man " who
was uglier than he had any businoss to be,"
and if he could but read It, every human
being carries his life in hisfaco, and is good
looking or the reverse as that life has been
(rood or evil. On our features tho fine
chisel of thought and emotion are eternally
at work. Beauty ie not the monopoly of
blooming young men and white and pink
maidens. There is a slow-growing beauty
which only comos to perfection in old age.
Grace belongs to no period of life, nnd good.
ness Improves the longor it exists. I have
seen sweeter smiles upon a lip of seventy
than upon the lip of s evonteen.
There is the beauty of youth and the
beauty holiness, a beauty much more sol
dom met and more frequently found in the
arm-chair by the fire with grandchildren
around its knee, than in the ball-room or
promenade. Husband and wife, who have
fought the world side by side, who have
made common stock of joy or sorrow, and
grown aged together, are not unfrequontly
found curiously alike in personal appear
ance, and in pitch and tone of voice just
as twin pobblos on the shore, exposed to
the samo tidal influences, are each other's
second self. He has gained a feminino
something, which brings his manhood Into
full reliof. She has gainod a masculine
something which acts as a foil to her wo-
munhood.
Printing Sermons.
Tho New York Evangollst says: There
are, pornapB, ou,uuu sermons preacuou
every Sabbath in the United States. The
greater part of those are listened to by the
assembled worshippers with reasonable in
terest and attention. How many of thorn
would find readers, if they were all printed
instead of being spokon? We may safely
say they would not roach a tenth part of
tho number thoy do now. We sincerely
believe that if ono writes with a viow to
the appearance of his sermon in print ho
will infallibly write a poor sermon.
It will fail of any Immediate effect upon
the congregation, and if wo understand tho
design of preaching tho Gospel, that is the
vory thing at which it aims. The more
earnest, impassioned, glowing, and sym
pathetic it is the higher its excellence as a
sermon. The very qualities which make it
effective in tho pulpit aio to a great degree
a blemish in the published discourse. A
certain expansion, reiteration, and amplifi
cation, which give force to the utterance of
the preacher, and insufferable on tho prin
ted page.
C3T Three-fourths of the difficulties and
miseries of men come from the fact that
most want wealth without earning it, fame
without deserving it, popularity without
virtue, aud happluessiwithout holiness.
CARLISLE CARRIAGE! FACTORY.
A. B. SIIERK 1
has a large lot ot second hand work on cflHPi Jt
hand, which lis will sell cheap la order a&iur
to make room lor new work,
FOR THE SPRING TRADE,
lie has. also, the best lot ot
NEW WORK ON HAND.
You can always see different styles. The material
Is not In question any more, for It Is the best used.
If you want satisfaction In style, quality and
jrice, go to mis snop oeiore purchasing elsewhere,
there Is no II rm that has a eettor Trade, or sell
more In Cumberland and I'erry counties.
REPAIRING AND PAINTING' '
promptly attended to. Factory Corner of South
and Pitt Streets,
Sdp
CAHL1SL.JE, PA.
ST. ELMO HOTEL,
(FORMERLY "THE ONION,")
JOS. M. FEWER, Proprietor,
817 & 819 ARCn STREET, .
PHILADELPHIA.
Terms,
$2.60 Pef Day.
THE ST. ELMO Is centrally located ami has
been re-fitted and refurnished, so that It will
lie found as comfortable aud pleasant a stopping
place as there Is In Philadelphia. 6 29
New Milliner
A.t Newport,
Goods
Pa.
I BEG to Inform the nubile that I have just re
turned from Philadelphia, with a ful assort
ment of the latest styles of
MILLINERY GOODS.
HATS AND BONNETS.
RIBBONS, FRENCH FLOWERS
FEATHERS,
CHIGNONS. '
LACE CAFES,
NOTIONS,
And all articles usually found In a first-class Mil
linery Establishment All ordors promptly at
tended to. srwe will sell all goods as Cheap as
can be got elsewhere.
PRESS-MAKING done to order and In the la
test style, as I get the latest Fashions from New
York every month. Goffering done to order, In
all widths. I will warrant all my work to give saw
Isfactlon. All work done as low as possible.
ANNIE ICKES,
Cherry Street, near the Station,
Newport, Pa.
616 13
PEKIIY COUNTY
Real Estate. Insurance,
AMU
CLAIM AGENCY.
LEWIS POTTEE & CO.,
Seal Estate Brokers, Insurance, St Claim Agent
Now nioomflcld, Pa.
WE INVITE the attention of buyers and sell
ers to the advantages we offer them In pur
chasing or disposing of real estate through our of.
flee.
We have a very large llstof deslrab property,
consisting of farms, town property, mills, store
aud tavern stands, and real estate of any descrip
tion which we are prepared to oiler at great bar.
f:alns. We advertise our property very extensive
y, and use all our efforts, skill, and dllllgence to
effects sale. We make no charges unless tha
property Is sold while registered with us. We also
draw up deeds, bonds, mortgagos, andall legal pa
pers at moderate rates.
Some of the best, cheapest, and most reliable
fire, life, and cattle Insurance companies In the
United States are represented at this agency.
Property Insured either on the cash or mutual
plan, and punctually at S4 and S3 per thousand.
Pensions, bounties, and all kinds of war claims
collected. There are thousands of soldiers and
heirs of soldiers who are entitled to pensions and
bounty, who have never made application. Hoi.
dlers, if you were wounded, ruptured, oicontraet
ed a disease In the service from which you are dis
abled, you are entitled to a pension.
When widows of soldiers dfe or marry, the minor
children are entitled to the pension.
Parties having any business to transact In onr
line, are respectfully Invited to give us a call, as
we are ooulldent we can render satisfaction in any
branch of our business.
r No charge for Information.
4 201y LEWIS POTTER & CO.
Farmers Take Notice.
rjlHE subscriber offers lor Salo
THRESHING MACHINES. JACKS and HORSE
POWER, With Tumbling Shaft, and Side-Gearing, Warrant
ed to give satisfaction in speedy aud perfect
threshing, light draft and durability, ou reasona
ble term. Also
PLOUGHS
Of Superior Make, ,
CORN 8IIEM.EHS.
KETTLES,
STOVES, ,
SCOOPS
AND ALL CASTINGS,
. made at a country Foundry. . Also, .
A GOOD MILL SCREW,
111 excellent order, for sale at' a low rate.
I refer those wishing to buy to John Adams,
Samuel Khumuii, John lloden, Ross Ilench, at
Iekesburg. Jacob Shoemaker & Hon, Klliotts
l)iu ii; Thomas Morrow, Loysvillot John Flicking,
er, Jacob 1'lickluger, Centre. U2U 13
SAMUEL LIGGETT.
Iekesburg, May 14. 1872.
ROBINSON HOUSE,
(Formerly kept by Woodruff aud Turbett,)
Ain HloonifiM, Ttrry Cotmty, Pa.
AMOS ROBINSON, Proprietor. '
This
well known "and pleasantly located hotel
n leased for a number of yearn bv the nres-
has bee
ent proprietor, and lie will spare no pains to Heroin
module his guests. The rooms are comfortable,
the table well furnished with the best In the mar
ket, and the bar strnked with choice liquors. A
careful and attentive hostler will be In attendance
A gixid livery stable will be kept by the proprietor!
April IS, 1871. tf
LOt'IIMASi'N
. Writingr FliilclX
THIS FLUIP Is warranted EQUAL to AaNOi.n's
and Is sold at much less price. The money
will be refunded to those buying It, II It does not
prove entirely satisfactory.
t M-ForsalsbyF. Mortimer, New Blooaineld.
MILLUR & ELDER,
, Sole Agents,
. 430 Market Strest.
lHi Philadelphia. '
AN