. The V. 11. Mutual
Aid Society of Pennsylvania,
Present the billowing plan for consideration to
such persona who wish to become members :
The payment ot SIX DOLLARS on application,
TIVE HOLLARS nnuually for roiB tkabs, and
thereafter TWO IXiLLARS annunlly during life,
with pro-rata mortality assessment at the (tenth
of each member, which lor the Fihst Class Is as
follows: ,
Amen
6 I ment
15 60 28 73 41 62 M 1 70
11 tit 29 74 42 M 65 1 HO
17 62 30 75 43 W M IN
IS , 03 81 77 44 W 67 2 04
19 64 32 79 45 1 00 6H 2 10
20 5 83 81 4 1 (W 69 2 2S
21 M 34 8:1 47 1 12 60 2 40
22 67 35 85 48 1 18 61 2 45
lit 68 36 84 49 1 24 62 2 60
24 69 37 87 60 1 30 63 2 55
25 70 38 88 61 1 40 , 64 2 60
28 71 39 89 62 1 60 65 2 65
27 .. 72 40 90 63 1 60
Will entltlo a memlier to a certificate of ONE
THOUSAND DOLL A KS, to be paid at his death
to his legal heirs or assigns, whenever such death
may occur.
A memlier, or his heirs, may name a successor;
l)ut If notice of the death of a member to the Sec
retary Is not aocompanled with the name of a suc
cessor, then the Society will putln a successor and
fill the vacancy, according to the Constitution of
the Society .
Should the member die before his four pay
ments of flit dollar are made, the remaining un
paid part will be deducted from the one Thoumnd
MUrirs due his heirs ; his successor will then pay
only two dollar annually during his lifetime, and
the mortality assessments.
. Male and Female from fifteen to sixty-five
f ears of age, ot good moral habits, in good health,
lale, and sound of mind, irrespective of creed, or
race, may become members. For further Infoina
tion, address I- W. CKAUMKK,
. (Seo'y U. B. Mutual Aid Society.)
LEBANON, PA.
Agents Wanted t
Address
D. 8. EARLY,
Harrlsburg, Pa.
6 31 8m pel
The Great Cause.
OP
HUM A. IV MISERY I
-Just Published, In a Sealed Envelope. Price. 6cts.
A LECTURE ON THE NATURE, TREATMENT.
AND RADICAL CURE of all Diseases caused by
excess, So. Also, Nervousness, Consumption, Hp.
Ilepsy, and Elts, etc., etc. l!y R01IKKT J. CL'L
VERWKLL, M. D., author of the " Green Book,"
etc., etc.
The World-renowned author, In this admirable
Lecture, clearly proves from his own eximrience,
that the awful consequences youthful Indiscretion
may be etfectually removed without medicine, ami
w ithout dangerous surgical operations, bougies.
Instruments, rings, or cordials, pointing out a
mode of cure nt once certain and effectual, by
which every sufferer, no matter what his condition
may le, may cure himself cheaply, privately, and
radically. THIS LECTURE WILL PROVE A
BOON TO THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS.
Sent, under seal, to any address, In plain sealed
envelope, on the receipt of six cents, or two post
age stamps. Also, Dr. Cnlverwell's "Marriage
Guide," price 25 cents. Address the Publishers,
(JHAS.J. C. KLINECO..
6.o.lyP .) 127 Bowery, New Vot k, P. O . Box, 4,686
QA fdf TO BK CRF.niTKn TO
&4fc,JlJU MUTUAL FOLIC HOLDERS.
The Pennsylvania Central Insurance Company
having had Dut little loss during the past year, the
annual assessment on Mutual Policy-holders will
not exceed 60 per cent, on the usual one year cash
rates, which would be equal to a dividend of 40
jier cent., as calculated (u Stock Companies, or a
deduction of 2 per cent., on the notes below the
usual assessment; and as the Company has over
tJOO.000 In premium notes, the whole amount cred
ited to mutual policy-holders, over cash rates, will
.amount to ft.OoO. Had the same policy-holders In
sured In a Stock Company, at the usual rate, they
would have paid M.ooO more than It has cost them
In this Company. Vet some of our neighbor
-agents are running about crying Fraud I Fraud I
.and declare that a mutual company must fall.
But they don't say how many stock companies are
falling every year, or how many worthless stock
companies are represented iu perry County
to-day.
It is a well-known fact that a Mutual Company
cannot break, i
JAMES H. GRIElt,
6 25tf Bec'y of Penu'a Central Insurance Co.
11 E MO VAL!
Merchant Tailoring Establishment.
THE subscriber respectfully Informs the public
that he has removed his MERCHANT TAIL.
OitINO ESTABLISHMENT from "Little Store
In the Corner," to room fonnerly occupied by J.
G. sbatto, Dentist, where may be found at all
times, a varied assortment of
Cloths, Cassimers and Testings,
With a complete line of .
' Tailors Trimming,
Of the best quality. Those desiring to purchase
GOOD GOODS, at Reasonable prices, and have
them made In the LATEST STYLE, will please
glveusacalL , 8. JU. BKCK.
Also, a good assortment of
SHIRTS, SUSPENDERS, COLLARS,
NECK-TIES, HOSIERY, &C..&C,
, i ; On, hand at low price.
A. E FRANCISCUS & CO.,
No. 513 Market Street,
PHILADELPHIA,
Bar opened for the FALL TRADE, the
largest and best assorted Stock of ,
PHILADELPHIA CAEPETS, '
t, Table. Stair, and Floor Oil Cloths,
, Window Shades and Paper, Carpet Chain,
Cotton. Yarn, Batting, Wadding, Twines. Wicks
Clocks. Looking Glasses, Fancy Baskets. Brooms,
Baskets, Buckets, Brushes. Clothes Wringers,
Wooden and Willow Ware,
' : MTU UNITED STATUS.
Onr large Increase In business enable us to sell
At low prices, and furutsh the best quality of
Goods.
' ,i SOLS AO JUTS FOB TUB
Celebrated American Washer,
Price $3.50. ,,..'
THE , MOST PERFECT AND SUCCESSFUL
! : WASUER EVER MADE.
W AGENTS WANTED FOR THE AMERI
CAN WASHER iu all parts of the Stale, , , - j 3 Ut
' Presidential Campaign ! 1
Cap. Cape aul Torrhea !
Bend for Illustrated Circular and Prioe List,
. CUNNINGHAM & HILL, Manufacturers,
NO. 204 CHUUCH STttUKT.
July 46, 187fc-3Vu.l , ( . ( f , IPHILADEU'IUA.
,;.0,X-l 13 It ;
WILL' give FIVE DOLLARS per barrel for
Cider cured according to my iwUsut linnrov.
I
d process. Any permm wishing to obtain a
printed copy of this proems can do so, by enclos
ing 1 00 to the undersigned at " MuxmunxiWH.
l llI COL'HTT, Pa." :
August 27, 1872 3m
ENIGMA DEP ABTMENT.
W All contributions to this department must
be accompanied by the correct answer.
1X7" The following are the answers to the
Enigmas In Inst week's Times i ' ,
Biblical Cross-word Enigma" Pralso yc the
Lord."
Enigma No. 8" Great Salt Lake, Utah."
Jim Blaine's "Wonderful Story.
BY MARK TWAIN.
riHIE boys used to tell mo I ought to
JL get one Jim Blaino to tell me the stir
ring story of , his grandfather's old ram ;
but they always added that I must not
mention the matter unless Jim was drunk
at the time just comfortably and sociably
drunk. They kept this up until my cu
riosity was on the rack to hear the story.
I got to haunting Blaino ; but it was no use.
lie was often moderately, but never sat
isfactorily drunk. I never watched a man's
condition with such absorbing interest,
such anxions solicitude ; I never pined so
to soe a man uncompromisingly drunk be
fore. At last one evening I hurried to his
cabin, for I learned that this time his sit
uation was such that oven the most fas
tidious could find . no fault with it. lie
was tranquilly, sereiibly, symmetrically
drunk not a hiccup to mar his voice, not
a cloud upon his brain thick enough to ob
scure bis memory. As I eutered, he was
sitting upon an empty powdor keg, with a
clay pipe in oue hand and the other raised
to command silence. His face was round,
red, and very serious ; his throat was bare
and his hair tumbled ; in general appear
ance and costume, he was a stalwart minor
of the period. On tho pino table stood a
candlo, and its dim light revealed " the
boys" Bitting hero and thcro on banks,
candle-boxes, powder-kegs, etc. They
said;
"Sh! Don't speak ; he's going to com
mence." I found a scat at once, and Jim
begau: ".
"I don't reckon them times will ever
come again. There never was a more bul
lier old ram than what he was. O land fa
ther fetched him from Illinois, got him of
a man named Yates Bill Yates may be
you might have heard of him; his father
was a deacon Baptist and ho was a rust
ler, too ; a man had to get up ruther early
to got the start of old Thankful Yates ; it
was him that put the Greens up tojiuing
teams with my grandfather when he moved
West. Beth Green was probably the pick
of ' tho flock. ' He married a Wilkerson
Sarah Wilkerson good cretur she was
ono of the likeliest heifers that ever was
raised in old Stoddard, everybody said that
knowed her. She could heft a bar'l of
flour as easy as I can flirt a flapjack.
And spin? Don't mention it 1 Independ
ent? Humph I When Sile Hawkins came
a browsing round her, sb e lot him know
that for all his tin he couldn't trot in har
ness alongside of her. ' You see, Sile Haw
kinsno, it warn't Sile Hawkins, after all;
it was a galoot by the name of Filkins I
disremember his first name but he was a
trump oome into pra'r meeting drunk one
night, hoorayiug for Nixon becus he
thought it was a primary ; and old Deacon
Ferguson up and scooted him through the
window, and he lit on old Hiss Jefferson's
head poor old filly. She was a good soul
had a glass eye, and used to lend it to
Miss Wagner, that hadn't any, to receive
company in. It warn't big enough," and
when Miss Wagner warn't noticing, it
would get twisted around in the socket,
and look up, maybe, or out to one side and
every which way, while t'other was look
ing as straight ahead as a spy-gloss. Grown
people didn't mind it, but it most always
made the children cry, it was so sort of
scary. t, She tried packing it iu raw cotton,
but it wouldn't work, somehow; the cot
ton Would got loose and stick out, and look
so kind, of awful that the children' couldn't
stand it no way.. ' She was always dropping
it put, . and turning up her old dead-light
on tho company empty, and making them
uncomfortable, becuz she never could tell
when it popped out, being bliud on that
side, you see. So, somebody would have
to hunch her, aud say, 4 Your game eye
hez fetched loose, Miss Wagner, dear,' and
then all them would have to sit and wait
till she jammed it in again wrong side
before as a general thing and green as a
bird's egg, being a bashful cretur and easy
sot back before company, But being the
wrong side before warn't much difference
any way, becuz her own eye was sky blue,
and the glass oue was yallor ou the front
side, so whichever way she turned it, it
didn't match nohow. Old Miss Wagner
was considerable on the borrow, she was.
When she had a quilting or a Dorcas' siety
at her house, sho gen'ally borrowed' Miss
niggin's wooden leg to stump around on ;
it was considerably shorter than her other
pin, but much she minded that.' She said
she couldn't abide crutches when sho had
company, becus they were so slow. When
she had company, and things had to be
done, she wanted ' to get up and hump bor
self. She was as bald as a judge, and so
she had to borrow Miss Jacob's wig Miss
Jacobs was the coffin peddler's wife-
ratty old buzzard be was, that used to go
roosting , around where people was sick,
'waiting for' them ; and there that old rp
would sit all day in the shads, on a coflln
that he Judged would fit the candidate; and
if it was a slow customer and kind of un
certain, he'd fetch his rations and a blan
ket, and sloop in the coffin at nights,
"Ho was anchored out that way in frosty
weather for about threo woeks once, before
old Robbln's place, waiting for him ; and
after tjhat, for as much as two years, Jacobs
was not on speaking terms with the old
man, on account of hisdisappinting him.
lie got ono of his foot froze, and lost money
too, becuz old Robbins took a favorable
turn and got well. The next time Bobbins
got sick Jacobs tried to make up with him,
and varnished up the 8am o old coffiu and
fetched it along with him; but old Bobbins
was too many for him ; he had him in, and
'pearcd to be powerful weak; he bought
the coflln for ton dollars, and Jacobs was to
pay it back and twenty-five more bosidesjif
Robbins didn't like the coffin after he'd
tried it. And then Robbins died, and at
the funeral he burstcd o(T the lid and riz
up in his shroud and told the parson to let
up on the performances, becuz he could
not stand such a coffin as that. You see he
had beeu in a trance once before, when ho
was young, and he took the chances on
another,cal'clating that if ho made the trip
it was money in his pocket, and if be miss
ed fire he couldn't lose a cent. And by
George, ho sued Jacobs for the Rhino, and
got judgment, and bo set up the coflln in
his back parlor and said he 'lowed to take
his tinio now. It wasahvays an aggrava
tion to Jacobs, tho way that miserable old
thing acted. i
" He moved back to Indiany pretty soon
went to Wellosville Wollosville was the
plane tho Ilogadoms was from. Mighty
fine family. Old Maryland stock. . Old
Squire Hogadom could carry around more
mixed lick r, and cuss better than most
any man I ever see. His second wifo was
Widder Billings she that was Becky Mar
tin ; her dam was Deacon Duulap's first
wifo. Her oldest child, Maria, married a
missionary aud died in grace etup by sav
ages. They et him too, poor fellow bilcd
him. It wasn't their custom, so they say,
but they explained to friends of his'n that
went down there to bring away his things,
that they'd tried missionaries every other
way and never could get any good out of
'em and bo it annoyed all his relations to
find that man's life was fooled away just
out of a domed exporiment, so to speak,
But mind you, there ain't anything ever
really lost ; everything that people can't
understand and don't see the reason of
docs good, if you only hold on and give it a
fair shake : Providence don't Are no blank
ca'tridges boys. That there missionary's
substance,, boys, unboknowns to himself,
actu'ly converted every last one of them
heathens that took a chance at tho barbe
cue. Nothing ever fetched them but that.
Don't tell me It was an accident that he
was biled. There ain't no such thing as an
accident.
" When my Uncle Lem was loaning up
agin a scaffold once, sick or drunk, or
suthin', an Irishman with a hod full of
brinks fell on him out of the third story
and broke the old man's back in two places.
People say it was an accident. Much acci
dent there was about that. He didn't
know what he was there for, but he was
there for a good object. If he hadn't been
there the Irishman would have beeu killed.
Nobody can ever make me believe anythiug
different from that. Uncle Lem's dog was
there. Why didn't the Irishman fall on
the dog? ' Becuz the dog would a seen him
a coming and stood from under. That's
the reason the dog weren't appintcd. A
dog can't be depended on to carry out a
special providence. Mark my words, it was
a put-up thing. Accidents don't happen,
boys, Uncle Lem's dog I wish you could
have seen that' dog. i He was a regular
shepherd or ruther he was part bull and
part shepherd splendid animal, belonged
to Parson Hagar before Uncle Lem got him.
Parson Hagar belonged to the Western
Reserve I lagan prime family ; hi moth
er was a Weston ; one of his sisters mar
ried a Wheeler ; tbey settled In Morgan
county, and he got nipped by the machin
ery of a carpet factory and .went through
In less than a quarter of a minute.' . His
widder bought the piece of carpet that be
had his remains wove in, and people came
a hundred miles to 'tend his funeral, and
they had to let one end of the coffin stick
out of the window. ' , .
Jim Blajne had been growing gradually
drowsy and drowsier his head nodded
onco, twico, three times; then dropped
peacefully upon bis breast, and be fell tran
quilly asleep. The tears were running down
the boy's cheeks they were suffocating
with suppressed laughter and had beeu
from the start, though I had never noticed
it. I perceived that I , was "sold." I
learned then that Jim Blaine's peculiarity
was, that whenever he reached a certain
stato of iutoxicatiou, no human power
eould keep him from setting out with im
pressive unction , to tell abont a wonderful
adventure be had once bad with his grand
father's l amand the mention of the rani
in the first sentence was as far as any man
had ever beard him get concerning it. - He
always wandered off interminably from
one thing to another, till his whisky got the
better of him, and he full asleep. What
the thing was that happened to him and
bis grand father's old ram is a dark mystery
to this day, for nobody ever has ever yet
found out. " '"
Rather Cooling.
Young Blifkins, son of old Blifkins the
banker he of the Dolly Varden pants and
and vest was recently caught in a shower,
and took rofugo undor tho portico of a
dwolling ou Beacon street. A very attract
ive young lady a pretty maidon who sat
by the open window, secning his situation,
sent out a servant to him with an umbrella,
Blifkins went away in ecstasy; and on the
following day, having attired hiraBolf in
most elaborate and stunning array of starch
and jowols,he took the umbrella, which was
an old one, and laid It away with his treas
ures of conquest as a souvenir; and then he
wont forth and purchased an affair to re
place it of the most beautiful and costly
kind. Thus equipped he callod upon the
lndy to return her flattering loan. She ad
mitted him to her presence and received
the umbrella without apparently noticing
the exchange; and it was not 'until she had
listened with becoming gravity to bis high
ly dramatio acknowledgments that the
truth beamed upon her. She saw that he
labored under tho enchanting impression
that sho had been smitten by his appear
ance. "Weally," said Blifkins, in sweet, po
etlo mood, "youah tendith act touched me.
Am it touchod mo deeply, it did, 'pon
honaw."
" Indeed, sir," replied the maiden, with
charming naivette, " there was no need of
this gratitude on your part. As you Btood
beneath our portico you obstructed my
view of a gentleman at an opposite window
who was observing mo, and I bent tho um
brella as the readiest means to get rid of
your unwelcome presence."
Blifkins went home and broke up the
old umbrella, and consigned its hated frag
ments to the ash barrel.
A Singular Case of Detection.
Tho lawyer's monologue in the play of
" Lady Aldley's Secrot," which vividly de
scribes the gradual closing-in of a web of
circumstantial evidence, is recalled by the
curious story of tho detection of the mur
derer of Professor Panorma in Brooklyn.
A patched tape-line was the clue nothing
more. A "sneak-thief," in whose pocket
tho tape was found, questioned by a shrewd
police officer, reveals his connection with a
New York gang of silver-thieves ; stolen
property is recovered ; men are arrested on
the charge of stealing it ; one of the thieves
is described as the murdorer of Panorma ;
the truth coafts out, little by little ; and
the scoundrel who dealt the fatal blow, ar
rested in a receiver's house for robbery, is
held to answer the charge oi murder. Great
credit is due to Captain Farry and his men,
whose ingenious disguises and untiring pa
tience during a search which lasted for
weeks have brought the perpetrator of an
infamous deed to the bar of justice. If
the man O'Brien be convicted and executed
and the case seems perfectly clear the
Panorma murder will take its place among
the records of celebrated crimes.
A Fable.
A doer once saw himself pictured in a
clear brook.
" Truly said he, " I surpass all animals
in gracefulness and majesty ! How lord
ly do my horns tower up I But my feet how
long and ugly t"
Hardly had he uttered these words when
be saw a lion springing towards htm.
With the greatest haste his despised feet
carried him to the next forest;' but sud
denly his broad antlers were caught in the
overhanging thicket, ' and be could not
tear himself away. ' '
- The lion overtook him and devoured him.
' Learn from this not to value things from
their outward .appearance, but for their in
ner worth; otherwise you will often have to
repent bitterly your unjust judgment.
tW A gentleman who was in the habit
of interlarding bis discourse with the ex
pression, "I say," having been informed
by a friend that a certain individual had
made some ill-natured remarks upon this
peculiarity, took the opportunity 1 of ad
dressing him in the following amusing style
of rebuke: . w . , .
.'"Isay, sir, I hear you say I say, "I
say" at every word I say. Now, sir, al
though I know I say " I say" at every word
I say, still I say, sir, it is not for you to
say I say "I say" at every word I say." '
"tyAt Valley Stream, Long Island, a
man fell between two trains of cars, in at
tempting to jump from one to the other.
With the exception of a Blight contusion
be was unharmed. ' When some of the
railroad employes stopped to pick him up
be waved them off, saying: "I can pick
up my own corpse." ' ..
t2TA railway watchman caught nap
ping at bis post, and convicted of willful
negligence, said to the jailor, who was about
to lock him up:' " I always supposed that
the safety of "b railroad depended ' on the
soundness of the kteepers." " So it does,"
retorted the jailor; " but such sleepers are
never safe unless they are bolted in."
Of To interest, without exciting to In
struct, without offending to please, with,
out flattering to be cheerful, yet grave
and humorous, t without descending into
buffoonery are the prima requisites of a
public instructor. ' ' . :. ' '
SUNDAY P.EADI1IQ.
Only a Uralu of Kami.
A man who had for years carried an old
and cherished watch about him, one day
called on its maker, and told him it was no
longer useful, for it would not keep tima
correotly, '
"Lot me examine It," said the maker;
and taking a powerful glass, he looked
carefully and steadily into the works, till
be spied just ono little grain of sand.
"I have it," he said. "loan get over
your difficulty."
About this moment, by some powerful
but unseen power, the little grain suspect
ing what was coraiug, cried out, " Let me
alone 1 1 am but a small thing, and take up
so little room. I cannot possibly injure the
watch. Twenty or thirty of us might do
harm, but I cannot, so lot me atone."
The watchmaker replied, "You must
come out, for you spoil my work, and all
the more so, that you are so small, and but
a few people can see you."
Thus it is with us, whether children or
elders one lie, ono feeling of pride, vanity,
or disobedionce, may be such a little one
that none but ourselves know of it ; yet
God who sees all things, knows it, and that
one sin, however little it may appear, will
spoil our best efforts in bis service.
One Worm did IU
Ono day I was walking with some friends
through Sudbrook Park, in Surrey, when
Dr. Ellis drew our attention to a large syc
amore tree, decayed to the core.
"That fine tree," said he, "was killed
by a single worm."
In answer to our inquiries, we found
that about two years previously tho tree
was as healthy as any in the park, when a
wood-worm, about tlirco inches long, was
observed to bo forcing its way under tho
bark of the trunk. It then caught the eye
of a naturalist who was staying bore, and
ho remarked, "Let the worm alone and it
will kill the tree." This seemed improb
able; but it was agreed that the black
headed worm should not be disturbed.
After a time it was discovered that the ,
worm had tunnelled its way a considerable
distanco under the bark. The next sum
mer tho leaves of the tree dropped off very
early, and in the succeeding year is was a
dead, rotten thing, and the bole made by
the worm might be seen iu tho very heart
of the onco noble trunk. .
" Ah 1" said one who was present, " let
us loarn a lesson from that single tree.
How many who once promised fair to use
fulness in the world and the Church, have
been ruined by a tingle tin!"
The Death of a Dishonest Man.
It is ovor.' Ho was buried to-day. Ho
did not live to be old, and yet his life was
not a short one. He did a great deal of
business and was widely known. The flags
hung at half-mast, for his name hod been
a good deal before the public
Yet nobody respected him. no was not
honest; and that was the fatal drawback
which always kept bim under. ' He was
shrewd enough, and smart enough, but yet
he never had any solid, substantial prosper
ity; and the sole reason was because he
had no inborn abiding integrity.
Providence so ordered things that dis
honesty thwarts the most cunningly de
vised schemes for making money. Were it
not so, thieves would become rich, in the
true sen se of the word, Thoir gains are un
certain, and their lives are thriftless as well
as unhappy.
, Apart from all reference to a future state
of existe uce, there is no better platform
for this world, no bettor basis to do busi
ness upon, than that of the ten command
ments. ' tW Suppose we saw an army sitting
down before a granite fort, and they told
us that they intended to batter It down, we
might ask thorn " How ?" They point to a
cannon-ball. Well, but there is no power
in that; it is heavy, but not more than half
a hundred or, perhaps, a hundred-weight;
if all the men in the army hurled it against
the fort, they would make no impression.
They say " No, but look at the cannon."
Well, but there Is no power in that; a child
may ride upon It, and a bird may perch In
its mouth. It is a machine, and nothing
more. " But, look at the powdor." Well,
there is no power iu that; a child may spill
it, a sparrow may pick it. Yet this pow
erless powder aud powerless ball are put in
the powerless cannon; one spark of fire
enters it, and then, in the twinkling of
an eye, the powder is a flash of lightning,
and that cannon-ball is a thunderbolt,
which smites as if It had been sent from
hoaven. So it is with our Christian ma
chinery of this day; we have the instru
ments necessary for pulling down strong
holds, aud oh, for the baptism of fire 1
Arthur.
t3fIn the ruins of Pompeii there was
found petrified woman, who, instead of
trying to fly from the destroyed city, had
spent her time In gathering up her jewels
She saved neither her life nor her jewels.
There are multitudes making the same
mistake. Iu trying to got earth and heav
en, they lose both. " Ye oannorserve God
and NumuKm." Bo oue thing or the other.