The Bloomfield times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, September 03, 1872, Page 3, Image 3

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    VlL CROOK'S .WINE OP TAR
:.., ' Om been tested by the publlo
, FOB TEN YEARS. , .',
' Dr. Crook's Wine of Tar
. l Renovates and ."
Iftvtimratai tliB Anl a inilnni
DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR '
. and Debilhatod.
''(. . '
DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR
Rapidly restores exhausted
Strength 1
DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR
Restores the Appetite and
Strengthens the Stomach.
DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR
Causes tbe food to digest, removing
IynpepIa and Indigestion
DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR
Oives tone and energy to
Debilitated Constitutions.
DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR.
All recovering from any Illness
will find this tbe
best Tomo tbey can take.
DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR
Is an effective
Regulator of tbe Liver.
DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR
Cares Jaundice,
or any Liver Complaint.
DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR
Makes Delicate Females, who are never feeling
- Well, Strong and Healthy.
DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR
Ha restored many Persons
who bave been
unable to work for years.
DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR
Should be taken if your Stomach
is out of Order.
Dr. Crooli's Wine of Tar
Will prevent Malarious Fevers,
and braces up tho System.
DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR
Possesses Vegetable Ingredients
wrrich make it the
best Tonic in the markot.
DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR
lias proved itself
in thousands of cases
capable of curing all diseases of the
Throat and Lungs.
DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR
Cures all Chronic Coughs,
and Coughs and Colds,
more effectually than any
other remedy.
DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR
das Cured cases of Consumption pronounced
Incurable by physicians.
DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR
Has cured so many cases of
Asthma and Bronchitis
that It bas been pronounced a apecitlc
for these complaints.
DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR
Removes Fain in Breast,Slde or Back.
OR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR.
Should be taken for diseases of tbe
Urinary OrganB.
DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR
Cares Gravel and Kidney Diseases.
DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR
Should be taken for all
Throat and Lung Ailments.
DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR
'Should be kept in every house, and its life
giving Tonlo pioperties tried by all.
Dr. CROOK'S Compound
Syrup of Poke Root,
-Cures any disease or
Eruption oil the Bkln.
DR. CROOK'S COMPOUND
SYRUP OF POKE ROOT,
Cures Rheumatism and
"Pains In Limbs, Bones, &c.
DR. CROOK'S COMPOUND
SYRUP OF POKE ROOT.
Builds up Constitutions
broken down from
. Mineral or Mercurial Poisons.
DR. CROOK'S COMPOUND
SYRUP OF POKE ROOT,
Cures all Mercurial Disease.
DR. CROOK'S COMPOUND
SYRUP OF POKE ROOT
x Should be taken by all
requiring a remedy
, . to make pure blood.
DR. CROOK'S COMPOUND
SYRUP OF POKE ROOT,
Cures Scald Head,
Salt Rheum and Tetter.
rDR. CROOK'S COMPOUND
SYRUP OF POKE ROOT,
Cures long standing
'Diseases or the Liver.
DR. CROOK'S COMPOUND
SYRUP OF POKE ROOT,
.''v Removes Syphilis
or the diseases it entails
. tnostenectually and speedily
'than any and all oilier remedlescoiublued
6 861y
A Practical Joke. .. r
rTWO of the most popular comedians in
JL London are Toole, of the Gaiety, and
Lionel Brough, of tbe Holborn, Tbey are
both opera bouffers, now and each may
count about four notes in his vocal organ
Toole, perhaps, only three ; but opera bouffe
nowadays does not demand voices so ' let
that pass. Both are excellent comedians,
and their names are so valuable on a " bill
of the play" that the managers disregard
ing tho fact that they are not singers, press
them into Offenbach's ' tuneful tomfoolery,
and as those who can usually do not act, a
sort of dramatio balance is established.
Some time ago the two appeared conjointly
to a drama in which they woie very ragged
woe-begone costumes, and at tbe desire of
eminent artists in Regent street, they went
in their rags to be photographed. While
waiting "between the plates," Tople, who
is fond of a joke, suggested to his brother
commedian to sally out and call upon a cer
tain mutual acquaintance a stuck up pom
pous sort of person, who would be horribly
shocked nt receiving visitors in such a garb. -Brougb,
who is a confirmed joker, at once
assented, and popping on their battered
hats, out into the street the pair slipped,
and mado for the house of their would-be-well
friend. " Rat 1 tat ! tat 1" went the
knocker in a most pronounce manner, and
in order to make it appear that tbe visitors
were of more than ordinary distinction they
pulled the bell almost out of its peaceful
socket. The bouse resounded with its
tintinnabulatory din.
A neat but flurried housemaid, followed
by a boy in buttons, rushed to the door
with great anxiety of expression. At the
sight of the two cadger-looking men their
first impulse was to shut the door in their
faces.
" Hoy 1 stop is Mr. in ?"
" No, he's not ; and we don't open the
door to beggars," said the maid. "We've
no cold meat here."
"Git out, do," squeaked out the page
from the rear of the maid's orinoline.
" I axes your parding," said Toole in an
assumed tone; "you're making a slight
mistake, pretty maid. We want to see
your roaste," and he mentioned the gentle
man's Christian name and that of his wife.
" We have important business with him"
chimed inBrough, giving his tatters a twist
" it's awful important."
The girl's face wore a dazed aspect, and
then said : " Master never sees the likes of
you at his bouse. lie's most partickler
ain't he, Charles?" appealing to the page.
" You must be making a mistake."
" Oh 1 no we ain't," responded Toole with
extreme gravity. " But I'm sorry William
is out (the Christian name of the gentle
man ;) I haven't got a card about me (pre
tending to fumble among bis rags,) but
when he comes in to dinner, just say, his
two cousins from tbe Work house called as
they were passing through London."
The maid stood aghast, " tbe buttons"
lot out a wild laugh, and the two comedians
turned back to the photographic studio to
see bow the last plate had developed. Toole
protests that the mind of that maid will
have undergone a curious revolution in re
gard to the lofty character of her master
since the cousins called.
Abont Turtles.
Audubon, the naturalist, stated that at
certain places on tho coast of Florida sea
turtles, those huge, stolid-looking reptiles
on which aldormen are fed at the expense
of tax payers, possess an extraordinary
faculty of Hading places. Working their
way up out of reach of tide water with
their flippers, quite a deep bole is excavated
In which a batch of eggs are deposited and
then carefully covered up. On reaching
the water they not unfrequently swim 300
miles out at sea, foraging for proper food.
When another batch of eggs are developed
after a lapse of about fourteen days, they
will return unerringly in a direct lino, even
in the darkest night, and visit the buried
eggs. Removing the sand, more are de
posited and secured. Away they go agajn
as before. They know instinctively the
day and hour when the young brood, in
cubated by the solar rays will break the
shell and are promptly on the spot to lib
erate them from their prison. As soon as
fairly out of the holo the mothor turtle,
leads them down the bank to the waves,
and there ends her parental solicitude and
maternal duties.
E2TAn Instance of rare honesty, and
showing bow a dog may desire to pay bis
board-bill, recently occurred in Fitchburg,
Massachusetts. A lady saw a . dog fre
quently about her house picking up odd
bltts which had been thrown out and one
day she called him in and fed him. The
next day he came back, and, as she opeuud
the door, be walkod in and laid an egg ou
the floor, when he was again fed. Tho fol
lowing day he brought his egg to pay for
bis dinner, and on the fourth day, . bo
brought the old ben herself, who itf seems
bad failed to furnish tho required egg. '
BTA Negro held a cow while a cross
eyed man was to knock heron the bead
with an axe. The negro, observing the
man's eyes, In some fear inquired, " You
gwine to bit whoro you look ?,, " Yes,"
" Den," said Cuffoe,,'lhold the cow your
self. I ain't gwine to lot you hit me." -
' " For the Bloomfleld Times.
Our reoplo Their Degeneration and Re
....... generation. f
, Mr. Editor : After an absence of nearly
twenty years, I bave returned to the moun
tains in search of health, but judging from
the phyiqu of the rising generation, 1
think that the genius of good health has
left. Each generation of mankind is like
a season of flowers and fruits. The ancient
Greeks destroyed those children that were
born with weak and sickly constitutions
horrid murder ! But the parents of this
day are about as culpable for tbeir neglect
in not properly developing those precious
buds of humanity fresh from the hands
of nature. Tbe lightsome picture of love
home mother and childhood with
dimpled arms and rosy cheeks and laugh
ing eyes and cooing baby-talk has a
poorly finished foreground of puny muscles
rotten tooth, and a premature old age.
All this is the result of bad food, and defi
cient clothing. You say we have no bad air
here among the mountains I Yes, but you
have, for you shut up some good air in a
close room, and breathe it over and over
until it becomes poison Throw open your
sleeping-room windows and doors and if
it is cold weather pile on more cover.
Make sloeping-dressos for the children
well wadded with cotton or wool, and
fastened so that they cannot kick out and
get cold. As to food, children should live
on wheat bread made from unbolted flour ;
also use some corn bread (mush and milk
makes the best supper) bocf, mutton,
poultry, eggs, fish, vegetables, &c. But no
bog meat, no coffee, tea, nor tobacco, until
after they are grown. As to clothing.every
body should wear good soft flannel next to
the skin during the winter season "keep
the feet and body warm and the head
cool." Change your clothintr once a week
in winter and twice a week in summer al-
always washing the skin thoroughly every
time you change.
But after all, the great step in improv
ing . tbe human race, lies in the physical
and moral education of woman. Make
woman look upon herself as happy and
beautiful and she shrinks from pollution,
and becomes more and more perfect. Pol
lution, Intemperance and Tobacco, are also
three great vampires that are sapping the
vitality of our people. It should be the
work of woman to baniBh these foul har
pies. Her influence is the strongest power
on earth, save that of the Holy Spirit.. A
healthy woman 1 Creation's crown so full
of throbbing life, and sweetest possibilities.
Tbe fair ideal of Nature's budding, swelling,
bursting luxuriance. , Tho warm embodi
ment of all pleasant, thrilling forces and
choice materials, whose very presence
makes even the cold air tremulous with de
light. Great guerdon good ! Each one
the centre of her own little world. Her
labors lead on to purity, perfection, aud
beauty. If you would have the stream pute,
you must take care of the fountain.
Girls should have plenty of bathing, sun
light, playing in the open air (but no
rope-jumping) also plenty of out-door
work, such as garden, dropping corn, ra
king bay, gathering berries and apples,
(but no heavy lifting.) At school, her edu
cation should never be allowed to interfere
with her physical well-being. Her roses
should never bo paled by mental exertion.
And Anally, a law should be passed, that
no sickly or cadaverous girl should ever
marry. Physio.
Weather Signs.
11 VERY man has some way of telling
J the change of weather, or rather no
way of telling what the weather will be. He
fixes on some rule and agrees with himsolf
that he will believe the weather to be thus
or thus, according as his rule demands.
Theso signs do not generally receive
from those who follow them a very critical
investigation. When a man says, " I have
noticed for more than forty years that al
ways, when," etc., it may be quietly as
sumed that he has noticod no such thing.
Ho bas hoard some one say thus or so; he
has a vague idea that once or twice he bas
seen the sign come true, but tbe dozens of
times that it bas utterly failed he paid no
regard to.
It is a common saying there will be a
change of weather with the change
of the moon. Now, as the moon changes
once a week, a change of weather must
come somewhere near a change of the
moon. But take a long series of observa
tions, such as thoso made by the agents for
the Smithsonian, Institute observations
which give tho state of the themomoter.tbe
direction of the wind, character of the
clouds and fall of rain in a particular place
noted three times a day for years, and by
comparing the changes of the moon, we
find there is no tractable conuecticn between
the two that sometimes the weather
changes with tho moon aud just as ' often
docs not. ' -
Tho moon changes the same day all over
the earth. A change of weather moves
more slowly than the moon, so that if the
moon and weather run together ou the At
lantic coast, thoy would not be ou the Rocky
Mountains or ou the Pacific coast. ' Again,
when the weathor is very wet on tbe Atlan
tic slope, It may be very dry in the Missis
sippi Valley. If a change from wet to
dry In one place, it should change from dry
to wet in tho other. People forget that the
moon changes elsewhere than in their own
township. ' " '
Says some old farmer, " It will turn
warm next week, Tuesday for there Is a
change of 'the moon." ' "Turn warm
where ?" we- ask him. " Why, turn warm
here." But the moon will change up in
Alaska will it turn warm there? And it
has already turned warm down in Texas
has the moon already changed there or
does not Texas weathor go by the moon ?
Says some old observer, " I have noticed
I ior more man lorty years that the first
frost of the fall comes at the full of the
moon." But the first froat does not come
at the same time in Montreal, Philadel
phia, and Savannah, ; and if the first frost
in Montreal comes on a half-moon, the first
I in New York could not be before the first
I full moon, and Richmond would have to
j wait till another moon before it could have
j a frost; and the first frost would not come
in Cuba until the next July.
" Bca ns should be planted in the new of
: the moon," says some old fellow who has
j had " experience." But beans should not
, be planted in Missouri at the same time as
i in Arkansas or Louisiana, and if each lat
j itude has to wait for a new moon for bean
j planting, the people up in Dakota or Brit-
ish America would not get in their beans
; at ail.
i " The 28th of the month," says another,
j "shows what is to be the prevailing weath-
er for the next month." But a while ago
j the almanac was changed from old style to
new stylo, and now the 28th comes at a dif
I ferent time by eloven days from what it
did before. Is it just as reliable to reckon
from as before? We reckon it is.
If the now moon is tipped up so that you
can hang a pjwdor-horn on it, the mouth
j will be a dry one or a wet one the weath
i er prophets are not agreed which,
j When the sun crosses the line on the 20th
I of March or September, we shall have an
j equinoctial storm in March, and one may
come some whore near the 20th, but it may
have as much connection with St. Patrick's
Day as with the sun crossing the line.
Let a man take notes of the matter for a
scries of years, and set them down on paper;
he will be able to test these signs. But
the bap-hazard recollections of an old sail
or, or an old farmer are no guide. He
thinks he has observed, when in fact he has
paid no strict attention to the matter at all.
Arithmetical Puzzles.
"Llbussa," the lady of Bohemia put
forth the following problem to bor three
lovers, offering her hand and throne as the
prize for a correct solution :
" I have bore in my basket," said the
Lady Libnssa, " a gift of plums for each of
you, picked from my gardon. One of you
shall bave half and one more, the second
shall again have half and one more, and the
third shall again have half and three more.
This will empty my basket. Now tell me
how many plums are in it ?"
The first knight made a random guess at
threescore.
"No," replied the lady; "but if there
were as many more, half as many more,
and a third as many more as there are now
in the basket, with five more added to that,
the number - would by so much exceed
threescore as it now falls short of it"
The second knight gotting bewildered,
speculated widely on forty-five.
" Not so," said this royal reckoner ; "but
if there were a third aa many more, half as
many more, and a sixth as many more as
there are now, there would be in my basket
as many more than forty-five as there now
are under that number."
Prince Wladomir then decided the num
ber of plums to be thirty ; and by so doing
obtained this invaluable housekeeper for
his wife. The Lady Libussa thereupon
counted him out fifteen plums and one
more, when there remained fourteen. To
the second knight she gave seven more, and
six remained. To the first knight she gave
half of these and three more ; and the
basket was empty. Tbe discarded lovers
went off with their heads exceedingly giddy
and their mouths full of plums.
A Dublin chambermaid is said to have
got twelve commercial travelers into eleven
bed-rooms, and yet to have given each a
separate room. Here we bave the eleven
bedrooms :
10
11
"Now," said she, if two of you goutle
roen will go into No. 1 bed room, and wait
there a few minutes, I'll find a spare room
for one of you as soon as I've shown the
others to their rooms."
Well, now, having thus bestowed two
gentlemen in No. 1, she put the third in
No. 2, the fourth in No. 8, the fifth in No.
4, the sixth in No. S, the seventh in No. 6,
the eight in No. 7, the ninth in No. 8, the
tenth in No. 0, and the eleventh in No. 10.
She then came back to No. 1, where you
will remember, she had left the twelfth
gentleman along with the first, and said s
" I've now accommodated all tbe rest, aud
bave still a room to spare ; so, if one of you
will please step into room No. 11, you will
fiud it empty." Thus the twelfth man got
his bed-room. Of course there is a hole in
the saucepan somewhere j but I leave the
reader to determine exactly where the fal
lacy is, with just a warning to think twice
before deoiding as to which, if any, of tho
travelers was the " odd man out" .
Her Bedtime.
A FATHER, not very far from hero,
read In the paper, tbe other morning '
that the " Utlca girls who want their
beaux to go home the same night they call,
pull a string at the proper hour which re
verses a picture, on the back of which ap
pears the words "Ten o'clock U my bed
time." '
This father, who has a daughter given
to late hours when a certain youth sits up
and helps her keep them, thought be would
try the Utioa plan, so he wrote in large
characters, on the back of a large portrait
of George Washington, this inscription:
"10 o'clock is sallik's bedtime.".
Then be arranged the picture so that
when be attached a string to the frame, be
could reverse it from bis bed-chameber.
But when Sallie entered the room an hour
later, her ntbetic eye was outraged by ob
serving the portrait of George hanging
slightly out of plumb, so to speak, and in
adjusting it her father's little game was
revealed in all its subtle ingenuity.
Sallie was not a Utica girl, however, so
she just went to work and neatly effaced
the figure "0," leaving the figure 1 stand
ing solitary and upright which, you will
observe, mode a few hours difference in her
bed time. That night, as usual, Sallie re
ceived a visit from her young man which
his front name it was Harry and her pa
ternal parent attached his string to G. W's
portrait, and retired to his downy couch.
About ten o'clock, when Henry and
Sallie were deeply absorbed in some knotty
problem, with their heads so contiguous
that you couldn't insert a piece of tissue
paper between them, the Father of bis
country suddenly turned his face to the
wall, as if be was ashamed to gaze upon
such doings. Henry, with a sudden start,
glanced at the picture, and saw the hand
writing on the wall, as it were, which read
"1 o'clock? SalUe's bodtime." Then
Henry looked at Sallie with an interrogation
in bis eyes, which was partly dispelled by
the fair maid murmuring, "It's all right."
Henry said of course it was all right that
he had long known 1 o'clock was her bed
time, and he thought it was plenty bite
enough, too for a young girl to be out of
bed; but what business, he said, had Geo.
Washington's portrait to be flopping about
that way ? Then Sallie explained and the
twain resumed work on the problem, Henry
putting bis arm around Sallie to prevent
her falling off the chair.
Meanwhile the old man was listening to
bear the front door open, aud his would be
son-in-law's footsteps pattering over the
pavement with the toes of his boots point
ing from the house. These sounds not
falling upon his ears, thinking maybo the
old thing didn't work right, he gave the
string another pull, and George W. again
faced the audience. Then he listened, but 1
he heard no foot-steps nothing but a pecu
liar sound, something resembling tbe pop
ping of champaigne corks.
Then he grew cross, and gave the string
another jerk, causing G. W. to turn about
with violent suddenness, just as if he was
dreadfully out of humor too.
And still all is quiot below except
that popping sound.
Then the string was pulled again and
again and againindicating that the old
fellow was just ready to explode with rage.
And for fully fifteen minutes did he have
the portrait of the man who could not tell
a lie turning excited flip-flaps and things
on the wall, like a bewitched gymnast,
until he fell asleep exhausted Sallie'a
father full asleep, not the portrait.
Henry kissed Sallie good night at one
o'clock A. M., remarking as be did so, that
it would seem like a long long weary year
before be would see her again because
you know, he didn't expect to see her again
until the evening of that day.
The next morning her father examined
the portrait, and when he fully understood
the situation he was pained. He shed a
silent tear, detatchod the string, sponged
out tho inscription, and walked away with
the weight of flfty-five years on bis shoul
ders that being his age. He says a girl
who will go back ou her father in that way
would just as lief as not disgrace her pa
rents by marrying a Congressman.
Matches.
Although friction matches are as com
mon as nails, a very small proportion of
those who use them understand the prin
ciple on which they operate. It is, in fact,
a vory simple affair. The tip of the match
is a combination of sulphur and phosphor
us. The phosphorus Ignites at the heat of
one hundred aud twenty degrees, which a
slight friction will produce, and this in
turn iguites the sulplir which requires
four hundred aud fifty or five hundred de
grees. Tbe flame of the sulphur sets Are
to the pine wood, of which the match is
composed, and which ignites at about six
hundred degrees. The combination is
necessary, because the phosphorus alone
would not kiudlo the match, while the sul
phur alone would not ignito with the or
dinary friction.
t3TA.ii Alderman at Janesville, Miss.,
was asked to estimate the damage a cow.
bad done in the yard of a neighbor. He
did so liborally, but was much chagrined
when informed that it was his own cow
that had done the damage.