iiiiwiwim (rmn ir
STIjc Simcs, Nciu Bloomftcliv Pa.
1STE-W YORK
CONTINENTAL
Life Insurance Company,
OF HEW YORK,
STRICTLY M UTUAL I
ISSUES all the new forms of Policies, and pre
sents as favorable tonus as any company in the
United Mates.
Tlie Company will make temporary lutiiis on Its
Policies.
Thirty days' grace allowed on each payment, and
the poil'cy held good during that time.
Policies Issued by this Company are non-forfeiture.
Uo extra charges are made for traveling permits.
Policy holders share In the annual profits of the
Company, and have a voice In the elections and
management of the Company.
No policy or medical fcecharged.
Justus Lawhenck, Pres't.
M. IS. WtMKuur, Vice Pres't.
J. P.Kooers, Sec'y.
J. V. KaTON,
General Agent,
No. 8 North Third Street,
4.29 yl College Block, Harrlsuurg, Pa.
Incorporated bu the Onirt of Common Pleat, in
1W9; bu the leui$lnturc, in 1871.
The Pennsylvania
Central Insurance Company,
OF POTTSVILLE, PA.
Capital and Assets, $156,000.
Premium Note 1100,000 00
Promissory Notes, fiO.OOO 00
Cash premiums duo or col
lected for the year 1871. (3,028 00
Cash premiums due or col
lected for the first three
months of 1872 1,800 00
Cash from other sources
and Agents, 1,200 00
Judgment Bonds in Com
pany's office 1,100 00
Total Cash, 0,18 00
Total cash and uolo assets,
April 1st, 1872 $150,128 00
JAMES H. GR1ER, JOHN D. HADE8TY,
Secretary. President,
DIRECTORS:
John D. Hadetty, A. P. Holms, Benjamin
Tetcr, A. SutermeUter, James II. Grlcr, E. F.
Jnngknrt, Ellas Miller.
AGENTS:
II. H. IUU, Edward Fox, John A. Kable, Ed
ward Wesley, Charles F. Dcibert, Win. R.
Griffith. E. F. Juugkurt, General Agent.
Arrangements have been made with other
flrst-cluss companscs to re-Insure risks taken
on the cash plan In such amounts as desired.
Liberal commission allowed agents, and ex
clusive territory, If desired. This Company
confines Itself to fire insurance exclusively.
OFFICE:
No. 191 CENTRE ST., POTTSVILLE, PA.
NOTICK.
The Home Reserve force of The Penn
sylvania Central Insurance Company of
Pottsville, Pa., will be in Perry county in
considerable force, and net as tlie Com
pany's Agents until' a full line of Local
Agents can be appointed when the reserve
force will be recalled.
JAMES II. GRIER,
Sec'y of Pa. Central Ins, Co.
IiiMUiunu Nodeo.
Oil and after the tenth day of April,
1 872, The Home Reserve force of Insur
ance Agents belonging to "The Pennsylva
nia Central Insurance Company" will leave
Pottsville in heavy force, anil occupy ten
different counties of the State, where they
will continue to act as the Company's
Agents until a full line of Local Agents
can be appointed, when they will be recalled.
As a body of men, 1 believe they are supe
rior Insurance Agents, and most of them
speak the English, French, Welsh and Ger
man Languages. The City Insurance
Journals, with all their sneers at Mutual
Companies, and continual cry of Fraud I
Fraud 1 1 &c, cannot muster any belter In
surance material ! Why don't the City In
surance papers tell the publio that no Mu
tual Company broke or failed during the
last ten years? Why don't they tell the
public that more than half the Stock Com
panies started within the last ten years
haver It is a well-knowu laet that Mutual
Companies cannot fail.
JAMES II. GRIER,
Secretary of Pennsylvania Central Insur
ance Company. 6 10
New Carriage Mauufuetory,
On High Stkkkt, East or Cakmbi.k Ht.,
New Bloomflcld, Perm's.
mliE subscriber has built s large and eoinmodl
L ous Hlmp on High St., Kast of Carlisle Street,
new inoomneui, ra., wuere ue is jireparmi hi mail
ufacture to order -
On, v i i ii s- s
Of every description, out of the best material.
Slelglis of every Style,
built to order, and finished in the most artistic and
durable manner.
Having superior workmen, he Is prepared
to furnish work that will compare favuramy with
the best City Work, and much more durable, and
at much more reasonable rates,
M-KKPAIJilNG of all kinds neatly and prompt
ly done. A call li solicited.
; , .: , SAMUEL SMITH.
t HI .
THE TWO MR. BROWN'S.
I AM MR, BROWN, but I am sorry to
say there is another Mr, Brown. It is
on account of the existence of this other
Mr. Brown, that I have lately had so tnuoli
trouble
I am employed by one of our large Phil
adelphia commercial houses as a traveling
salesmar, and frequntly make business
visits to the principal cities of our own
and adjoining States. Last summer, while
on a visit to a neighboring city, and stop
ping at a cosy hotel there, the following lu
dicrous incident occurred:
On my arrival I legistered my nnmo on
the visitors' book as Mr. Brown. The land
lord's consequential manner immediately
altered to one of deference on reading the
name, and I was unexpectedly assign
ed one of tho best rooms in the house, and
was still more surprised at mine host going
to my chamber with me, and personally su
perintending the making of the room tidy
and com foi table, I was not accustomed to
having so much attention paid to me by
strangers, and could only attribute it to my
good looks and gentlemanly deportment.
Aftor the landlord had retired, I seated
myself at the table, and began a letter to
my friends at home. I had written but a
few lines, when I was annoyed by a strange
buzzing of voices, which seemed to come
from the keyhole of the door.
" Is it possible," I said to myself, " that
the residents of this house can take such
an interest in my affairs, to go eavesdrop,
ping after me ?"
I walked noiselessly to the door, and
suddenly opening it, I surprised no less
than a dozen ladies and gentlemen, who
were taking covort glances at me by turns,
through the narrow oriflce intended for the
key. On my unexpected appearance at the
door, all beat a hasty retreat into their re
spective bed chambers, and the flying spec
tacles of disappearing skirts and coat-tails,
was a scono I shall long remember.
I could not imagino what it could all
mean. Why should the landlord be so at
tentive to a stranger, and why should the
ladies and gentlemen of the house take
Buch an extraordinary interest in me? But
other wonders were to come. I had scarce
ly proceeded with my letter before I was
again interrupted by a knocking at tho
door. I answered the summons, when to
my intense astonishment, a beautiful young
lady sprang into my arms, calling me "pa
pa, dear papa I"
" There must be some mistake, my
dear," I said, " I am not your nor anybody
else's papa."
The young lady was not dismayed by
this declaration, however, but continued to
embrace me and claimed me as her pater
nal relative.
What was my surprise, when I again dis
avowed any knowledge of her, to be assured
that she had expected I would disown her,
but attributed it to tho wild freaks to which
I was subject.
"What wild freaks, my dear miss?" I
asked.
" Oh, wo have heard of them all," she
replied; "Aunt Laura lias well described
your character and peculiarities in her let
ters. But how is mamma?"
" My good girl, do you wish to drive mo
mad ? First you call mo papa, and now
you ask mo about mamma. Who in the
deuce Is your mamma ?"
" Who is she? Why, your second wife,
of course, and my step-mother, whom 1
have never seen; but I am dying to get a
look at her.
I was about making nti angry answer,
and declaring my claims as a bachelor,
when there came trooping into the room
half a dozen little- children, who immedi
ately seized upon tho tails of my coat, and
the legs of my pants, almost throwing mo
olf my feet.
" AVho aro these?" I eried,in distraction;
"are those youngsters inoro of my oil
spring?" "Oh, no, papa," answered the young
lady; "these aro Carrie's, your oldest
daughter's children. They are your grand
children." "For heaven's sake, stop thorc," I
shouted; "you have made mo a grand
father, but be good enough not to go any
farther with my descendants."
"Tho truth must be told," said the
young lady with a rosy smile; " you know
your oldest son is named John?"
" Well, since you say so, we will call him
John."
"John has a married daughter, who has
lately had "
(I knew what was coming, so I jumped
up and seized my hut whilo she concluded.)
"A bouncing little boy so you are a
great grandfather," continued the young
lady. " , '
Like Macbeth, I would " hear no more,
but rushed from tho room as if Satan and
all his imps were at my houls. As I passed
out at the street door, like a young hurri
cane, I noticed that an elegant carriage hat)
stopped In the front of the hotel, and a lady
was getting out of it, but I was iu ' too
great a hurry to pay much : attention to
her.' , '.
I was so much annoyed with tho unac
countable conduct of the people at tho ho
tel, thut I did not return until late In tho
evening, preferring to purchase my suppef
at a icstHurant. When I did return, tho'
landlord again weloomed me, and assured
me that my bed was all ready, and evory
thing was " oil right." Ho said "all right'"
with such an Insinuating, deferential smile
that I could not comprehend what tho fol
low meant.
When I reached my bed room, in push
ing the door to I accidentally blow out tho
light, and found myself in tho dark so In
tensely dark that I could not see a step
before me. However, I concluded to un
dress in the dark, so I sat down upon tho
bed, and bogan to divest myself of my
clothing.
In moving my hand carelessly over tho bed
it suddenly camo in contact with a solid
body, which felt most singularly like- a hu
man being. In tho next moment my hand
was grasped by two smooth, soft hands,
and then I felt tho tips of my fingers press
ed tho delicate, rapturous lips.
What did it all mean ? Could it be a ghost
iu my bed or a burglar ? Or was it a young
lady ? When I thought of tho latter pos
sibility, my limbs trembled in terror and I
was about to light tho lump again. Before
I could do so, howovcr, a sweet voice spoko
to me.
"Brown," said tho voice, "why don't
you come to bed ? Here I have boon wait
ing for you for the last half hour."
I understood what was tho matter now,
and I determined to have somo fun,
"Go to sleep my dear, and don't bother
mo," said I; " I will come to bed when I
am ready."
In a moment thoro camo a piercing
scream from the bed, loud enough to have
raised tho shingles from the roof. It had
the o fleet of bringing tho landlord into my
room with all his boarders trooping at his
heels.
What was my dismay, when a light was
brought, to discover a beautiful lady sitting
bolt upright in bed, and attired in a snowy
white garment.
" What do you mean sir by entering my
bed chamber ?" asked the lady in a severe
tone of voice.
" Yes, and I would like to know what
you mean, sir ?" said a stout gentleman of
my own age, who came tearing into the
room at that moment, like a wild hyena,
flourishing a thick cane in one hand, while
in the othorhe carried a carpet bag. " Who
the devil are you, sir?" asked this gen
tleman, stalking up to me, and staring me
in the face.
"I am Mr. Brown, sir," said I assuming
a most dignified expression of countenance
"And I am Mr. Brown," said tho other,
scowling at me fearfully.
" That's a coincidence," said I.
"What were you doing in my wife's
room ?" asked the man. " That's another
coincidence, hey?"
"You are mistaken, sir," said I. " Your
wife got, into my room. I engaged this
room early in tho afternoon, as I can prove
by theJandlord."
At this moment the young lady who had
claimed me as her father iu the afternoon,
approached the lady in tho bed, and in
quired: " Tell me mamma, which of these gentle
men is my papa?"
" Why, tho good-looking one of course,"
said the lady, "the gentleman with tho
side whiskers."
She meant tho other fellow.
"Oh, how I have been deceived 1" cried
tho young lady, her face suffused with
blushes.
" Yes, and I have been deceived," said
the landlord, "fori took this Mr. Brown
to be tho other Mr. Brown, and I let him
have the best room, which I intended for
the wealthy Mr. Brown and his wife."
The horizon began to clear a little, and I
saw the light. But I determined to get to
tho bottom of this mystery, so I button
holed the landlord, and drew him into a
corner, where I put "a few leading ques
tions, as tho lawyers say.
I learned thut the other Mr. Brown was
a wealthy individual, who had been travel
ing in Europe for several years, and had
not seen his family for a long time. Dur
ing his nbsenco his wife died, and ho took
another partner to his bosom, and wrote
home to his family that he would return
immediately, and bring his bride with him.
His arrival was anxiously looked for, and
his children residing at tho hotel where I
was putting up, that establishment was in
arms for the event. , .
Brown had left his children .when they
were so small that they could not remem
ber him, and whut was more strange, he
ho never sent them a picture of himself so
the only way they oould identify him was
by his name, What mora natural than for
them to suppose me their father, on my
registering my name? When I looked into
tho matter, I could even forgive the land
lord for his blunder. . :,.
On the mistake being explained to the
other Mr. Brown, ho acknowledged I was
nut to blame, and volunteered -to stand
treat to champagne and oysters. I lospect
fully declined, and departed for another
hotel, whero I was tho only Mr. Browu. ,
tSSTBob " Jim, do men don't make
such fools of detnsclves uhout woman as
de woman do about men. If , dcy look at
do moon dcy see a man in it. If duy hoar
a mouse nibbling, it's a man; and dcy all
look under do bed last tiling at uight to
find a man. Why I nebbor. looks under,
my lod to Ilnri a woman docs you ?"
ENIGMA DEl'ABTMKKT,
Cross-Word Enigma.
My first ii In wash but not In scour.
My second Is in miue but not In yours.
My third Is In long bat not In short.
My fourth ! In play but not In sport.
My fifth Is In ice but not In cold.
My sixth Is in dare but not in bold.
My seventh Is In May but not In June.
My eighth Is In flddlo but not In tunc. '
My ninth Is In rod but not In whip.
My tenth Is In yawl but not In ship.
My whole Is the namo of a subscriber.
A Riddle.
It Is formed llko the Globe, and placed In Its
centre.
It commands every tongue, every mouth It will
enter.
It Is always In fashion, the first to be odd,
It departs not from home, yet It wanders
abroad,
It presides on tho ocean, likewise npon shore.
It leads every object, enriches our storo.
It enters every body, directs overy omen,
Turns one into ten, hales men und loves woman,
It Is seen in the. morning, gets brighter at noon,
It Is hid In tho suu, though It shines In the
moon.
It shines In the rain-bow, likewise in the snow,
It follows our footsteps wherever we go.
47" Answer to Square Word Puzzle in last
week's Times :
SAIL
A 1. ) E
IOWA
LEAF
Dangers of Serenading.
A young Romeo residing upon Garden
street, Clovcland, whoso voice has just com
menced to change, and sings anywhere
along the sealo from falsetto to tho home
bass, purchased a forty dollar guitar a few
weeks since, and last week thought he
would sercnado his Juliette, who lives on
the samo street. Hastily chewing a few
bronchial troches to clear his pipes, he
crept within tho shado of a bay wiudow
and nervously began clawing the instru
mental chords, while he softly tipped a bal
lad to his charmer inside. He had just
sung
" There's music in the midnight air."
when ho became convinced that there was
solo leather soaring about through the
atmosphere also, and before he could strike
the chorus he found the stufling kicked out
of his guitar and himself in the road UBing
his nose as a shovel-plow. The girl's father
had returned from down town at an unusu
ally late hour hence the result. The
warbler is now practicing on the concertina,
and getting his pants half-soled with sheet
iron. .- He says he will yet make the old
man sick if the bellows don't go back on
him.
Come Down, Father.
Some one has paraphrased tho song,
" Dear Father, Come Home," as follows:
Oh, father, dear father, como down with
the stamps, my dressmaker's bill is. unpaid
she said she would send it right home
from tho shop, as seoa as the flounces wero
made. My new dress from is down in
tho hall, the boy will not leave without
pay I've nothing to sport with can't go
to tho balk so please send tho shop-boy
away 1 Como down I come down I Please,
father, dear father, como down 1 Oh, hear
tho sweet voice of thy child, who cries in
her room alotio; oh, who could resist her
most pitiful tears? So, father, with
stamps you'll come down. Oh, father, dear
father, come down with tho stamps, my
curls aro not fit to be seen tho hairdresser
said ho would not do them up unless I
could pay fifteen ho only asked twenty
to give a new set, and take the old hair in
exchange besides pa, my waterfall's aw
full rough, and so my back hair will look
strange. Come dowu I come down t como
down I Please ! father, for Britiuu como
dowu !
J.i?"An Indian, after hearing a missionary
preach on tho text, "Make vows to heaven
and keep them," went up to the minister
after the Bcrmon and said, " I have made a
vow to go to your house." A little surprised
the miuister answered; "Well, keep your
vows." On arriving at the house, the
Indian said, "I have made a vow to sup
with you." This was also granted, but
directly after supper the Indian added, "I
have made a vow to sleep iu your house."
Fearing there would be no end to the vows
of the attentive auditor the missionary
replied, " It is easy to do so, but I have
made a vow that you shall leave to-morrow
morning." To which tho Indian readily
consented without hesitation.
MP" At Dubuque, Iowa, rocently, a man
in n state of iutoxioation was soon trying to
lead a horse. . The animal watched his
master closely, and when he staggered al
most to falling would catch him by the
coat collar and hold him up. . Once or twice
the man full and was heljied up by the
superior being. By extreme care and
watchfulness the horse succeeded iu getting
his master homo safely. The incident
painfully recalls Dean Swift's description
of the Yuhoos, in the travels of Gulliver.
t3 Olive Logan commenced one of her
lectures at Newark, recently, with , the re
mark' " Whenever J . sue a pretty girl,
I want to clasp her In my arms.", ,"8p do
we," shouted tho boys In the gallery, " For
a moment Olive was nonplussed, but, re
covering her self possession, klio replied,
" Well, boys, I don't blame you.",
A STIIANCE CONVERSATION.
"tTHILE sitting in tho office of the
T T National Temperance Publication
House the other afternoon, waiting for a
friend who was purchasing books in the
storo, I was greatly astonished by the
following conversation between the agont
and his assistant. The former had a largo
pile of letters, jurt roceivod from all parts
of the country, and the lady was assorting
tracts.
Agont. Did you send tho Rev. T. Jones
"Our Natioual Curse ?"
Assistant : ho writes that it is not suffi
ciently strong. IIo wishes a thousand
"Cholera Conductors" to distribute among
his congregation. IIo also wants "Gin
Toddy" for his Sabbath school, and says
he docs not think much of "Temperance
in Sunday Schools" but likes " Drunken
ness and Christian Love" better.
Agent. Well, let him have what he
wants, but scud a "Word in Season" at
the samo time.
Assist. I find we are out of "Sympathy
for the Drunkard, "j and have moro " Lit
tle Sins" than we ought to have.
Agent. Yes, and we must get rid of
them as soon as possible, and also the
"Effects of Alcohol upon the Human
System." Here is a letter from Mrs, Smith
in which she complains that you have sent
her tho " Deacon and his Dog" instead of
"Our Young Minister," and says also that
sho does not liko 'Our Stumbling Brother.'
Assist. Sho is certainly very particular :
she wrote for "Somebody's Son," and I
must have been careless in sending.
Agent. The Rev. Mr. Thompson writes,
"I havo read the "Wife's Secret," and,
in consequence have given one of my Deacons
tho 'Fatal Draught,' and I wish I had
fifty more "Ready to Perish.'" He also
states that "His Persona! Honor" was
damaged in transit, and asks for more.
Assist. Well, we have none to sparo in
the office ; I think the "Philosophy of
Drinking" would suit him better.
Agent. Dr. Lurewell says thnt he be
lieves the " Wine Cup and the Gallows"
will convert more sinners in a month than
he can with a year's preaching ; and as
each of his congregation has "Natural
and Reserved Rights," ho hopes they will
each get " Gled's Grip," which he thinks
would do them good.
Assist. I think if he would recommend
" Temperance and the Bible" to his church
it would be iu a better stato.
Agent. I have written him and re
commended a "Rum Fiend" for each
pew, they would just suit his congregation.
Assist. Miss Sweet says she wants the
"Best Fellow in the World," and she will
let her sister havo tho "Temperance Doc
tor." I wrote her sho should have more
" Self-Donial j" but sho likes "Liberty
and Love" better, and will take " Nobody's
Advice."
Agent. The Hon. R.' Harris says that
an "Honest Doctor" has never been seeu in
that part of tho country, and does not know
anything about " Who killed tho man."
IIo also states that the expressman lost
"Little Lizzio" on the road and wants
" William and Mary" instead.
Assist. The Rev. P. Jenkins says he
found a " Mocking Genius" in his pulpit
and a "Blasted Tree" in each pew, and
that his people like them better thau the
" Ox Sermous" which ho gavo them tho
Sunday before. p
Agent. Tho Rev. Fiddle, D. IX, sends
for 1,000 " Freemen or Slaves" to put one
in each cell in their Penitentiary ; he says,
further, "I have a few 'Rescued Brands,'
which I intend hanging up iu the horse
cars to let tho people know that my church
is not quito asleep."
Assist. Did you sond "Timothy a Tee
totaller" to tho poor houso?
Agent. Yes ; and now we will send a
" Shot at the Decanter" ami close for the
day.
Now, I knew my friend the Agent to be
one of the best temperance men iu the
world, and also one of tho most energetic
Sunday School workers. I also knew the
thorough-going Christian and true tem
perance girl, so you may imagine my relief
when I found that they had not gone raving
mad, but were simply filling orders for
tracts, and that the quoted words were tho
names of those ordered, and that instead of
wishing and sending all sorts of evil, they
wero helping to spread light and knowl
edge on tho great question of Temperance.
Phrenological Journal.
tW" An officer who was more distinguish
ed for gallantry in the field thau for the
care he lavished upon his person, complain
ing, on a certain occasion, to an Irish judge
of tho sufferings he endured iioin rheuma
tism, the judge undertook to proscribe o
remedy. " You must desire your servant, "
he said, to place every morning by your
bedsido a tub three parts filled with warm
water. You thon get into tho tub, and
having previously provided yourself with a
pound of yellow soap, you must rub your
whole body with ii, immersing yourself oc
casionally in the water, and at the end'of a
quarter of an hour the process concludes by
wiping yourself dry with towels, and scrub
bing your poraou with iv flesh brush.",
"Why,", said tho oflieor, , after reflecting
for n.niinuti) or two, "this seems to -be ,
, neither moro nor less than washing one's
self." "Well, I must confess," rejoined
the judge, " it is open to that objection."