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":ErT;L1c.,'' an independent family newspaper.
Vol. VI. ' Ncav Blooinllold, Pa., Xncsdoy, BIay7,l87a. rs'o. 1.
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A Day in Woman's Clothes;
A Modest Young Man's Experience.
4iT COULDN'T think of such a thing."
.L But you must. My happiucss de
pends npon it. Ilore put on tho thingum
bobs, and tho what's its name."
And my fricud Bob Stylos held up before
inv hesitant eazc a full suit of feminino
w
apparel.
His idea ws that 1 should personate his
lady love for ono day, to prevent anybody
from suspecting tho truth namely, that
she had joined him in a ruuaway marriage
party until it should be too lato for inter
ference; that is, until the ministor should
have tied a knot between them that noth
ing but a special grant of the' Legislature
could untio.
The scheme was not actually so absurd
us it appeared nt first sight. Maggio Leo
was a tall, queenly woman, with an almost
masculine air, and, at that time- I had
vpiv ulirrht form almost ofleminato, so
that in fact, there was really but littlo dif
ference on that point. Then I had light
hair parted in tho middle, and put a bon
net on mv head and few persons will ol-
sorvo that I am not of the softer sex
These accessories also gave mo quite a de
cided resemblanco to Maggie Loe, especially
as when in this cao the disguise was her
own.
Then the day chosen lor tho runaway
match was an Buspiclous ono. Maggie's
pa was to drive her to D , a smiill
village near whore she lived, and thcro sho
was to join a sailing pnrty dow n D
river, to the grove threo miles below; from
which the party was to return in tho even.
ing in carriages.
Our plan was, that I should be waiting In
the village, and should go on tho boat
with the sailing party, while Maggio after
leaving her father should slide oil' with Bob
-Styles across the country.
At last I got dressed, and presented my
- self before Maggie, blushing a great deal
I believe, feeling very much pinched about
the waist and with an uncomfortable con
sciousness that my shirt sleeves were to
shoit; or wanting altogether.
Everything finished, in the way of toilet,
Bob Styles took me in his light wagon and
Irove me over to D , by a secluded
route and left momt Uie hotel, w hore the
sailing party was to assemble. Several of
the picnicers were there, and they greeted
my cavalier with cordiality, (everybody
knew Bob Styles,) askiug If he was going
with them. lie told them he was not.
Pressing business engagements you know,
and all that sort of thing. Duwced sorry I
can't go, through. I just had time to
bring Miss Leo over, and I'm off. Mr.
nimby, this Is Miss Lcc, and ho rattled oil'
a let of brief introductions, which convinced
me that there was but few of the company
that were acquainted with the young lady
whom I was personating a very fortunate
thing tor the preservation of my disguise.
. Mr. Bimby, a tall, legal looking man,
with a hook nose, and eye glass and puffy
hair seemed to 1ms pleased with my perion
tll, and I oveiheard hlin whisper to Bob
Styles as be went out:
" Nice looking girl that Miss Lee."
"Yes," answered Bob with a mischiev
ous glance at him, " she Is a nice girl,
though ft little go ahead sometimes. Keep
little lookout on her, will you" thou low
ering his voice said" not a bad match for
you, old fellow she is rich.",
"Is she ?" said Bimby, his interest decp
. cuing. '
"On my honor," replied Bob. Forty
1 housand dollars In her own right.
" Day, Day !" and ho was gone.
Maggie Lee artful creature as she was,
had told her father that the party was to
assemble at another hotel, and thither he
had takon Iter. Having business in D
us loft her there, merely saying that he
would send tho carriago after her at seven
o'clock. Sho like a dutiful daughter, kissed
him and bade him good-bye, and before ho
had gone a hundred rods got in Bob Style's
light wagon, which had driycu -up to tho
back door as Mr. Lee drove from tho front,
and the old story of head-strong love and
prejudiced ago was enacted over again.
As for us of tho picnio excursion, we had
a delightful sail down to the grove, but
somehow, I could not enjoy it as I ought
to havo done. When I walked on board
tho.boat, I felt awkward, as if everybody
was looking at me. I found Mr. Bimby, as
I had suspected, a young and rising lawyer,
mighty in lilackstoue in his own opinion.
Ho insisted on paying my fare (the boat was
a regular excursion packet) and purchasing
enough oranges pears and CBiidies, to set
up a street stand. Four or five times I was
on the point of. swearing at his impudent
ofliciousuess, but bit my tonguo just in
time to prevent my exposure. But it was
not with him I found my role the hardest to
play.
No; the young ladies were tho diflicult
ones to deceive. For instanco there was
one among them, a beautiful girl of seven
teen, just returned from boarding school,
who had not seen Maggio Lee for three
years. Of course sho was delighted to sco
me, when sho found that I was Maggio Lcc,
which by the way did not occur until wo
d started, Sho threw licrsclt into my
arms, pulled my veil aside, ami Kissed mo
half n dozen times, in a manner that mado
my finger ends tingle for an hour. It
all very nice, but it I liau been m a projirut
pertoiui, I would have liked it better. As
it was I felt as though I was obtaining
goods under falso pretenses, and lawyer
Bimby might issuo a warrant for my arrest
on tho ground at any moment.
A whole lot of crinoline then surrounded
me, on the uppci dock of 'the boat, to tho
utter disgust of Mr. Bimby anil all the
other gentlemen. I kept very quiet only
speaking in monosyllublos, in a, falscHo
voice.
But tho others Lord bless you ! how
they gabbled. Under a strict promise of
secrecy, tho boarding school maiden who
had kissed tuo so affectionately, revealed all
her love affairs and also became unpleasant
ly confidential about other matters inno
cent enough in themselves but not customa
rily talked of between ladies and gentle
men.
I was terribly embarrassed, but it would
not do to give up then. As soon as my
trick should become known, Bob Styles
trick would come out, and news of that
kind travels fast in the country, ho and his
lady-loro would bo telegraphed, and follow
ed before they could roach Philadelphia,
where Styles lived and where tho knot was
to be tied.
Tho river breeze was very fresh where we
sat, and I noticed that several of the ladies
were glancing very uneasily at inc.
couldn't divine tho reason, until Jennie,
my httlo lriend lrom tlie boarding school,
laid her face dangerously close to mine, and
said: "My dear Maggie, your dress is
blowing up terribly high your ankles will
bo town talk with nil tho gentlemen?"
Now I was conscious of having a small
foot for a man, and had donned a pair of
open worked stockings which came up
nearly to my waist, with a pair of gaiters
borrowed from a servant girl, iu all which
together my "running goar' looked quite
feminine and respectable but the idea
tho girl telling me of tho gentlemen talk-
ing about my ankles, who would havo been
frightonod to deat'i if I had told her the
same thing yesterday, .was too much for
me, I burst into a sort of strangled laugh
which I could only check, by swallowing
half of my filagree lace edged handkerchief.
The young ladies all looked at me with ap
parent astonishment with such a voice, and
I wanted to laugh the more. Fortunately
Mr. Bimby came to my rescue at the mo
ment and edged himself in among the criu
oline.
"May 1 sit here?" he asked, pointing to
a low stool hear mo.
" Cert-aluly," I simpered iu my high fal
setto.
"Ah, thank you," said Bimby, with
lackadaisical air, which nauseated me, as
coming from one man tor another; you are
as kind as you are fascinating ?"
"You flatter me!"
" I ? No, indeed; praises of you cannot bo
(lattery Miss Lee.
" Oh, sir, really, you are it very naughty
man," I said in the most feminino tone I
could command.
He cast a laughing glance at mo through
tho black laeo veil and I fairly began to
fear for his feelings. Wo soon arrived at
the grove, and found our band, engaged be-
forchaud awaiting us. Of courso dancing
was the llrst amusement, and lawyor Bimby
led me out for a i-hollisohc. It was hard at
rst to take a lady's part in the dance, but
soon got accustomed to it . A waltz was
proposed, and I resolved to have a littlo
amusement at the expense of the unfortu
nate Mr. Bimby. .
I had first mado hitu purposely jealous by
ancing with two others, one of whom I
know In my own character, but who never
suspected mo as Maggio Lee. The young
man was a great woman killer; a sort of an
easy devil may-care rascal, who mado tho
tdios run after him, by his rash and cool
ness of protestation. I selected him to
play off against my legal admirer. I al
lowed him to hold on to inc very closely",
and occasionally looked nt him with a half
iscinating expiession. When wo stopped
daircing, he led mo to my scat, keeping his
arm about my waist, mid I permitted it.
Having thus stirred Bimby up to wrath
ful feats of valor, I asked one of the gentle
men to direct tho musician to play a waltz.
Bimby camo Immediately.
"Ahem a Miss Lee, shall I have tho
lonor of a trying n waltz with you ?''
I smiled a gracious acquiescence, and wo
commenced.
Now I am-an old stager at waltzing.
I
can keep up longer than any unprofession
al dancer, male or female, whom I ever met.
As long as tho Cachuca or Schounbrnlinum
ings iu my cars, 1 can go on if it is a year.
Not so, Bimby. IIo plead want of prac
tice, and said that ho soon got dizzy.
Aha, old boy," thought I, " I'll give
you a turn then I
But I only bmilcd, and said that 1 should
probably get tired first.
"Oh, yes!" ho exclaimed. "Of course,
1 can waltz as long as any lady, but no
more."
Fpr the first tivo minutes my cavalier did
well. Ho went smoothly and evenly but at
the expiration of that time began to grow
warm. Five minutes elapsed and Bimby's
breath beat harder and harder. On he
went, howovcr, and I scorned to notice his
slackening at every round, when wo passed
my sent. After some, ten or twelve miuutes
tho wretched man gasped out between his
steps:
"Ah, a nre you notgot getting very
tired?"
"Oh, no !" I burst forth as coolly as if
we were riding around tho room; "Oh, no,
I feel as though I could dance all night."
The look of despair that he gave mo was
terrible to see.
I was bound too see him through, uud we
kept at it. Bimby staggered and nmdo
wild stops in all directions. His shirt col
lar wilted, eyes protruded, Ills jaw hung
down; and altogether, I saw ho could not
hold out much longer.
"This Is dolightful," said I, "and you,
Mr. Bimby, waltz so ensily."
" Puff ah puff ah puff yes oh
puff very puff delightful," ho gasped.
" Don't you think it ought to go a little
faster?"
"IIo rolled his eyes heavenward iu agony.
"Ah pull I don't ah pufTV-don't
know."
" So when we beared the musicians, I
said: .
" Faster, if you please faster," nnd they
played a la whirlwind.
Poor Bimby threw his feet about like a
fast pacer, and revolved after tho manner of
o teetotum which was nearly run down. At
last he staggered n step backwards, and
spinning eccentrically away from me, pitch
ed headlong in the midst of a bevy of young
Indies in a corner. I turned coolly, walked
to my seat, and sent the young woman
killer after a glass of ice water.
I got some idea from this of the fun
young ladies have in tormenting us poor
devils of the other sex.
At this Juncture, and before Mr. Bimby
had time to apologize for his ncctdeut, littlo
Jennie came running into the pavilion
which served for a ball room. As sho came
near, I perceived her hands were clutched
tightly in her dress, and I positively shud
dered as she whispered to me
"Ob, Maggie, come and help ino" to fix
my skirts, for they are coming down."
What should I do? T. was in agony. A
cold perspiration broke out over my fore
head. I wished myself a thousand miles
away, anathematized Bob Styles' masque
rading project-inwardly, with maledictions.
I said I was tired out could not some
body else go T '
No, nothing would do but I must accom
pany her to the house of u gentleman who
owned the grove, and assist her to arrange
her clothing.
So I went.
Whnt if it should he necessary to remove
the greater pnrt of her raiment? What if
sho should tell me to do some sewing?
What if in the midst of all tho embarrass
ment of being closoted with a beautiful girl
of seventeen, in a state of comparative free
dom from drapery, my real sex should bo
discovered ?
I felt as if an apoplectic fit would bo a
fortunate occurrence for me just then.
However I nerved myself for the task,
and accompanied Jennie to tho house des
ignated. An old lady showed us into her
chamber, and Jennie, heaving a sigh of re
lief, let go her dress. As she did so, n
pardon my blushes a petticoat fell to the
lloor. Sho was about to proceed, but I
alarmed her bv a sudden and vehement
gesture.
" Stop I"' I cried frantically, and forget
ting my falsetto, "don't undrew for God's
sake."
"And why not?"'
" Because I nm I am can you keep a
secret ?"
" Why, yes how frightened you look !"
"Why, what is tho matter Maggie!
you, why, oh ! oh !"
And sho gavo three screams.
"Hush, no noise, or I am lost !" I ex
claimed, putting my hand over her mouth.
"I swear I mean no harm; if I had, I
would not have stopped you. Don't you
see?"
Sho was all of a tremble, poor littlo
thing, but sho saw tho force of my nrgu
ment.
"iiii, sir," slto said, "J. see you aro a
man; but what does it all mean ? Why did
you dres so?"
I told her tho story as briefly as possible,
after exacting from her a promise of tlio
most sacred secrecy.
I then went outside the door, mid waited
until she had arranged her dress, when sho
called mo again. She had heard of mo
from Maggio and others and sho wanted to
hear all the particulars; so I sat down by
her and we had a long talk, which ended in
mutual feelings of friendliness and old ac
quaintanceship, quirts wonderful for people
meeting tho first lime. Just as we stalled
to go back to the pavilion, I said I must re
lievo my miud of just one more burden.
" And what is that ?" she asked.
"Those kisses. You thought I was
Maggie Lee, or you would not havo given
them. They were very sweet but I sup
pose I must give them nil back."
And I did.
She blushed a good deal, but she didn't
resist, only when I got through she glanced
up and said:
" I think you aro real uuughty anyhow.''
When I returned, I found lawyer Bimby
quite recovered from his dizziness, and all
hands ready for supper, which was served
in the bar room. I sat betw een Biinby
and Jennie, und made lovo to both Iu turn ;
to one as Maggio Leo and to tho other as
myself. After supper, at which I astonished
a groat many by eating rathermore heartily
than young ladies generally do, we had
more dalioing, and I hinted pretty strongly
to Mr. Bimby that I should like to try
another walt z.
Ho didn't tuko the hint.
Finding it rather dry amusement totlaiice
with my own kind, I soon abandoned the
pleasure and persuaded Jennie to take a
stroll off luto tho moonlight with me. - Wo
found tho grovo a charming place, full of j
picturesque littlo corners and rustic seats,
and great gray rocks leauing out over the!
river. On ouo side of those hitler a littlo j
bench was placed in a nook shellered from
tho sight.
Hero wo sat, iu the furl tlood of the I
moonlight and having just had supper, I
felt wonderfully iu need of a cigar. Accord
ingly I went back to a little stand near the
ball-room and purchased several, of tho
wondering women who sold refreshments.
Then returning to tho seats by the rocks,
I gae up ull cause of fears foruiy Incognito
and revelled In the pleasuro of soliludo
the fi agmnco of my cigar the moonlight
and littlo Jennie's presence.
now long we sat mere neaven Knows.
We talked and laughed mid sang, nud look
ed into each other's eyes, and lold fortunes
and performed all tho nonsensical opera
tions common amongst young people just
fulling in love with each other, and might
.have remained till the mouth of August,
in the year of our Lord eighteen hundred
and fifty seven, uught I know, had not
the carriages been sent to convoy us home,
and the rest of tho company began to won
der where we were.
This wonder begat questions, the ques
tions fears and foars search, headed by the
valiant Bimby. They called, and looked
nnd listened, but our position down in the
sheltered nook among the rock prevented
them from hearing us, or us them.
At length they hit upon our path, nnd
all camo along iu single file, until they got
to the open space above.
Then they saw a sight.
I was spread out in a free and easy posi
tion, my bonnet off, and my hair somewhat
towzled up, nnd there I sat pufliug away in
a very unlady-liko manner.
Jennie was sittins close beside me with
her head almost on my shoulder and her
small waist encircled by my arm. Just as
the party camo along above, I laughed out
in a loud muscular voico
"Just think of poor what's his name
there, Bimby ! Suppose ho knew that he
had been making love to a man?"'
"Hush !' cried Jennie. 'Look, there he
is and oh, my gracious! thcie is the wholo
company.
" Ycs,wc are fairly caught." It was of no
uko for me to clap on my bonnet nnd as
sume my falsetto again they had all scon
too much for that. Besides, by this time
Bob Styles and Maggie Leo were doubtless
ono flesh," and my disguise was of no fur
ther importance, so I owned up nnd told
tho story. Lawyer Biinby was in. a rage.
IIo vowed to kill me, and even squarod off,
but the rest of tho party laughed at him so
unmercifully, nud suggested that wo should
waltz it out together, that he finally cooled,
and slunk away to take some private con
vejaneo to I) .
Bob Styles" and I ure living in a double
house together. IIo often says ho owes his
wifo to my masquerading, but ho dosen't
feel under any obligations to mo, for I owo
my wifo to the same thing.
N. B, My wifo' s namo is Jennie.
'true t hide.
OUNG man named Parks, from
xY. wo
orcester, entered the store of the
Lawrences, in Boston, and found Amos iu
tho office. He represented himself as hav
ing just commenced business, and desired
to purchase a lot of goods. Ho had recom
mendation as to character from several in
fluential citizens of Worcester, but nou
touching his business standing or capacity.
The merchant listened to his story, and at
its close shook his head.
"I have no doubt," he said kindly,
" that you have full faith in your ability to
promptly meet the obligations you would
now assume; but I havo no knowledge ot
your tact or capacity, and as you are just
launching put oil tho sea of business, I
should be doing you a great injustice to al
low you to contract a debt which I did not
fee) assured you could pay at the proper
time." " V
But Mr. Lawrence liked tho appearance
of the young man and finally told him that
ho would let him have what goods he could
pay for at the cost of tho manufacture
about ten per cent, loss than the regular
wholesnlo price. The bill was made out
nnd paid, nnd tho clerk asked where tho
goods should bo sent.
"I wilt take them myself," said the
purchaser.
" You will find them rather heavy. " sug
gested tho clerk smiling.
"Never mind; I am strong, and tho
stngn office is not far away, and besides, I
have nothing else to occupy my time."
"But," said the clerk, expostulating,
" it Is hardly in keeping with your position
to bo shouldering such ponderous buudles
through the city."
"There you mistake," replied tho young
man, with simple candor. "My position
just now is one iu which I must help myself
if I would be helped at all. I am not
ashamed to cany anything which I honestly
possess, nor am ashamed of the strength
which enables mo to curry this heavy bur
den." Thus speaking he shouldered a large
bundle, and had turned toward tho outer
door, when Mr. Lawrence, who, from his
otrloe, had Overheard the conversation,
called hlin back.
" Mr. Parks, I have concluded to let you
have w hnt cowls you want on time. Select
ta'your pleasure."
The y W11 .pi-ised.'
"You have truo pride foru successful
men-hunt, sir," pursued Mr, Lawrence ..
"and I shall Iks disappointed If you do not
succeed."
Amos Lawrence was not disappointed.
Within fifteen years from that time, Samuel
Parks was himself established on Milk
street one of the most enterprising and
successful merchants in Boston. Exchang.