Philadelphia Advertisements.
cTi. kwicaiiT & niters.
T I S H ,
Cheeso
AND
IJ'rovislons,
114 South Delaware Avenue,
Below Chcstimt St.,
.PHILADELPHIA, PA.
Agents for
Collins, Ucddes & Co's Canned Fruits.
tWltf
i(
A. B. Cunningham. J. H. Lewars. J. B.OIelm.
Cunningham, Gleim & Co.,
Wholesale Dealers in
Tobacco, Scgars, &c,
NO. 4, NOHTH FIFTH BTKEET,
rilH.AOICM'III A.
83310
Peterson's Magazine.
CHEAPEST AND BEST OF ALL I
Splendid Offers for 1872.
THIS popular monthly Magazine gives more for
the monev than any In the woud. It In the
lcst rolored fashions, the nest original stories,
and the hest engrnvlngsof any lady's hook, (ircat
and costly Improvements will lie made 111 lK72,when
II will contain
ONE THOUSAND PAfiESt
FOURTEEN SPLENDID STEEL PLATES?
TWELVE COLORED BERLIN PATTERNS!
TWEI.VK MAMMOTH COLORED FASHIONS?
ON K THOUSAND WOOD CUTSI
TWKNTV-FOl'K PACES OF MUSIC!
All this will he (riven for only twodiAirs a year,
or a dollar less than Magazines of the class tif
' Petersons." Us
THRILLING TALKS AND NOVELETTES
Are the hest published anywhere. All the most
popular writers are employed to wrllo originally
for " l'eterson." In 1Ki2, ihe aildllion to Its usual
iiantltyof short stories, Five original Copyright
Novelettes will lie given, viz: Bought With a
Price, by Ann S. Stephens; The Island of Dia
monds, Iiy Harry !antorlh: Onoo too Often, hy
Frank Afi Benedict: Lindsay's l.uek, hy Miss F.
Hodgson i and A Wife, hy the author of ' The Sec
ond Life.
MAMMOTH COLORED FASHION l'LATKS
Ahead of nil others. These plates are engrnved
on steel, twice tlie usual size, and eonlaln six fig
ures. They will lie superbly eilored. Also sever,
al pages of Household and other recipes; in short,
everything interesting to ladles.
TEltMS ALWAYS IN ADVANCE.
One eopv, for one year, J2. oil : Five copies, for
one year, iw.00; Elglit copies, one year, Slim).
SUl'Kltn PREMIUM ENdRAVINO!
Every person getting up a eluh of live at $1.00
each, or eight at SIM each, will lie entitled to all
extra copy of the magazine for 172. and also to a
copvof the snperh pailor mezzotint (size 24 Inch
es hy IK) " Five Times to One Day," which, at a
store, would cost four dollars.
USm'olnicns sent, gratis, to those wishing toJ
g'i up villus. Auuiess,
CH ARLES J. PETERSON,
No. 300 Chestnut St., Philadelphia.
Am"I.ENniT" HHOHTM KNFT1
SIM.KN 1H U AhnOKTJI UN X
DltY-GOODQ
11Y-G00DO
Suited to the Season,
Are Now Offered for Bale by
F. MORTIMER, & CO.
Photographs ! Photographs !
JACOB COBLK,
Photographic Artist,
NEWPORT, PENN'A:
rriHE subscrllier would respectfully call the at
L tent Ion of the citizens of tills county to the
fact, that he Is prepared to take 1'JWrodRA 1'IIH
in the best style of the art. Ills long experience
enables him to produce
PICTlTJttH
WHICH CANNOT BE
CELLED.
EX-
All persons are requested to call at his rooms and
examine specimens. '
Particular attention given to copying likenesses
of deceased persons, and great care will be taken
to furnish
Good Pictures of Children.
Framing material and a good assortment of frames
always on hand, and for sale at low prices.
JACOtt COJiLE, ArtM,
Newport, Perry Co., Pa
Those Old Clothes
Need he worn no longer, as the sjihserlliein are
now preiKireil Willi afull stock of Fall Ciisslmers
limn which they make clothing to order, if a gar.
incut made by us does not tit it.
Can be Exchanged for
One which will give entire satisfaction.
Full Xciv Stilts
Made at short notice, and In a superior manner,
As we have the regular monthly Fashion Reports,
those who desire can have their garment , ,
Cut In the Latest Stylet
We ask all wanting C'lolhlnc to call and exam
iue our assortment of goods suited for Mens' and
ami Hoys' wear, and see Heciiiiens of our work.
F. MOHTIMKH & CO.,
.New lllooinfleld, Pa.
A GREAT MEDICAL DISCOVERY
Dr. WAIJUER'S CALIFORNIA : '
TLNEGAR BITTERS
Hundreds of Thousandi 8 g A
Beit testimony to their Wonder.
oTS fill Curailva EITocU.
V WHAT, ARETHEY?
in
Wiv'.aor Poor Rnmf Thlffccy Frnvf Hplrlta
and Refit so Uqauin doctored, BplccU nnd p'.yrct
ened to pleaiotbfl a8te. cr.Ucd'Tonicfl,' Arrrt
crc," M Itcatorcrfl ao. that lead tlio tippler cu to
drankenDcua and rnln, bo oxo a trtio Mcdiclr.c, r.
from the Native Boots and Ilcrba of California, frro
Irom nil Alcohvllo rSliinulnnio. Tl.cy lio tlio
UltEAT ISLOOU rt'UII Il:t and A 1.1VV.
GIVINJ rUINCU'rEBprfcct Itcncvutcr era
InTlgorator of thotSyatcmtcarryicg off all rolsonoui
matter and restoring tlio tlood to a hcaltl.y ccuut.t,:'.
Ko person enntulio tbec Clttcro aceordlrg to C r.O'
tlon and remain lone nnwelL
S1UO wUluo given foraa Inmrablccfif.rrvvMud
the bonce ara not dostroyed by ir.lnrrr.l i" or
other means, and tlio vital oruana wubUd Li jo. UUia
point of repair.
Fnr Inflnminntory nml Clironto lE!ici:ntn
tlnm nuil Coul( Uyspcpnln r IttdiBPntloiit
lliltoutt. Kcmlttcnt anil Imcrmlttcnt 1'ovcrn
)lBrnncn f tlio Itlood, litvcr, Klilncya, ami
IInltlnrv three Ulttcrst Lave been moet soccctE
ful. buck DUccNte cro racccd ty Viiinlcd
Tllood, which Is frcncrnlly pruducod hy derangement
of tliu UltfRdtlvi OitrniiH.
DYttPEiIA (li 1XD1GESTIOX. Head
ftche. Pain tn tho SlioaK itp, Coughs, TlKlitnetifl cf tlio
Chest, Dizziness, 8our Kructatlons of tlio Btomach,
Had taste In tho Month, Bilious Attacks, TalplUtlcn
of tholJeurt, Inflammation of tho Lanes, Fatnlntha
regions of tho Kidneys, and a hundred other p-nlul
eyuptomB,aro the oCsiiringaof bybpeptfe.
They Invigorate tho aicmach aud Ktlmulato tao tcr
pldllvcrnnd bowels, which render them of unequalled
efficacy In cleansing the blood of all impurities, and
imparting new life and vigor to tlio wholo syrtcm.
FOR Hit IN DISKAHKH.Lraptlons, Tetter, Bait
Rheam, Blotches, hpots, riinplcs, ructuks, Eolls, Ccr
banclcs, lUug-Woims, Eculd-llcad, Gore Fycs,Eryslp
clas, Itch, ticurfs, Iilscoloratlons of tho fcUln, Uumora
and Diseases of the bl;ln, of whatever nemo or nature,
are literally t! lg vp andcarrlt'd out of tho system In a
short time by the uuu of thuse Hitters. One bot'.lo In
such casen will convince the moBt Incredulous oi their
curative effoet.
- Cleanse tho Vitiated Blood whenever you find its
Impnrltlca buret!:: ir t!ircn;;h tho shin Inrimplcs, Krnp
tlons or bores t clcatmti It when you find It obstructed
and sluggish I.i tlio vcU-s ; clcnnno it when His foul,
and your fu'j!::i H will t . you when. Keep the blood
pore end tin health of iUc ry:;U-tn will follcr.
riN, TAl'liajdothor V;i.1IS, luring iu the
yptcmof somany ttiotu'a:i(!u, uro effectually destroy
ed and removed, l or full 1 11 ructions, read carefully
tbo circular uruuna each bottle, printed In four lan
raagca Kuglllt.tit.Tinitu, renchu-d DpauisU.
J.WALKEH, rrnprlcti,A U. II. McltONALD t, CO.,
Druggists nnd Ccn. Agents, Ban Franclbcn, Cal ,
and Wand84Comuioico Street, New Tor.;.
tr-BOLD DT ALL DUUOOIB73 AKI) DLALHUS.
1780 TAKE NOTICE. 1871
Are You Afflicted or Sick ?
g I PAHRNEY'S
H BLOOD CLEAN8K1!
OH
2 1 j. IN A O 10 A. !
H
i N Alterative nnd Cathartic, or Tonic and
1 Purge, lordisenscs arising from had blood.
Thin preparation was established In 1870,nml
has been prepared In Hand form for more than
18year. In January or February, 1870,anoth
er party commenced to prepare a similar article
which la Interior to the genuine, ana wmcn
should not be mistaken for ours. Ask for "Dr.
Faiihnkt's Blood Ci.hnbek or Panacea,"
and accept no others.
The Trade Mark of the oldest and genuine
Is printed In gretn on a yellow wrapper, liav
Ingaisotne signature or r. ranrney, yi.u
Chicago.
JJr. r. FahrtuyU Jffulth Metienger" gives
the history and uses ol the blood ci.kanhkii
testimonials, nnd other Information, sent free
charge. Address
Dlt. P. FAURNET'B BnOTMEHH it Co.,
Waynesboro, Frnnklln Clounty, Pa.
Ask for Dr. Fahrncy's lilood Cleanser and
CLEANSE yOUU IILUOI).
t-T Bold everywhere and In New Bloomllcld
by F. Mohtimkh k Co., only. 0 It)
The. I'eiiiiNylvaiiln
Cattle Insurance Company,
Capital and Asspls, $150,000.
JiKorinrnlnl hi the Ciiurt of Common
Vita of Schuylkill Co., Nov. 27, '19.
Incorporated by Legislature May 10,1871
1 T has now full power to Insure Buildings,
I Merchandise and all kinds of Property
against Fire, Storms or Tempests. Also, to
Insure Horses und Cattle against Death or
Theft. The rates oil Loan or Preferred Policies
are a llltlo higher than any other company
doing business iu the county but this class of
policy holders can borrow money nny time the
Company cau spnro It out of its suplus assets.
and the money will be loaned 1n rotation, so
mat i lie nrst persona procuring loan policies
cau be the first to borrow money If ihcy need
11. I'my
SIX I'F.lt (KNT, 1 N'T Kit KMT
will be charged for money, and loans will he
made at all places that good agencies ean ba
established, so that the Company will be a
Home Company wherever It does business.
The Company will also take risks on the
common cash and mutual plans us cheap as
other reliable companies.
The Directors meet regularly on the second
Monday oi every monin.
JOHN D. HADESTy, President
JAMES IT. GUI Eli, Secretary,
Office -308 Centre St., Pottsville, Pa,
0 vv
t ALL KINDS of l'r nlln.'ii.nllv
PRINTINOI executed at the "IIIixjompiicui
I 1IMEB ' TUM ilUIUniCS
S Gil
S V P C X
wit
si if
USS . t '1
O S THET ARB KOT A VILS W f i
al FANCY DRINK, ft
New AdverHnementg.
O ' O T j O O I !
61 d 4W
RIFLES. SHOT-OUNS. REVOLVERS
(Inn material of every kind. Write for Price
l.ist, lo ureal wesieru uun vnrns, riusmirgn,
l'a. Army guns nnrt Revolvers bought or traded
(or. Ageuts wanted. , . 6ld4w
I)SYCI!OLO(HC Fascination or Soul Charming,
4110 pages by Herbert Hamilton, B. A. How
to ue this power (which all possess) at will. 1)1
vinatlon. Spiritualism, Soroeries, Demonolngy,
ami a thousand oilier wonders. Trice by mall
$l.'2fl, In clot h i paper covers 81.00. Copy free to
Agemsoniy. Sl.issi mommy easily iniwin. viuniess
T. W. EVANS, Pub. 41 a 8th Street, Philadel
phia, P. , M(14w
AGENTS WANTED for a NEW B(M IK? stories
of TRAVEL, ADVENTURE. Miscellanies,
Sc., by ALBERT D. RICHARDSON finely Illustra
ted. Very large pay. Address COLUMBIAN
witmuu,, liaruorci, 1 1.
61d4w
A nnto WANTED FOR THE I1RIOHT SIDE
AKcUlo OF NEW YORK, a Library of Infor
mation pertaining to Its Institutions and objects
of Interest, fly a City Missionary. Two Hun
dred Engravings. Agents sell 40 day. Just Is-
li,
1). j it r. .1 1 , x ii wi isnvi , mi..
61 d 4 w.
The Great Republic. 7"?"
ble hook to an American ever published. 234 eie
mint llliislriitlons on steel and wood. lews of
cities, buildings, rivers, mountains, etc. Includes
census statistics of 1R7H, has 1120 large Svo. pages
on superb paper. Written by .lames D. Mci'ahe,
Jr. One volume, jirlce. StJ.OO. Oood agents want
ed everywhere. Send for terms to
t, d 4w 740 Samson Street, Philadelphia.
1. Lh ila.lla.ut. Bi.tl r..'p!,ll
'Q lndUlK.uul.lo to
the T.llet. of" SOlf.
Try l.lr e Or.
tlrmna. tsoia t,y vrurvi't" .
nd Ikr.lrr. In PERFUMERY.
51 d 4w
THE A-NECTAR
IS A PURE
JJI..A01C TKA
WITH the HREEN TEA FLA
VOR. Warranted to suit all
tastes. For Sale Everywhere,
in our "trade-mark" pound and
linlf nound oackiiecs onlv. And
for sale wholesale only by the ORE AT ATLAN.
I1C AMI PACIFIC TKA CO.. S Clllircll St., Is. .
P. O. BOX 6SU6. Send for Tiika Nbctab Cinr:u-
I. a n. 61 d 4t
AGENTS
by EDITH O'OOKMAN, Escaped Nun, whose dls.
closures are thrilling and startling. 1'iianki.in
ri ni.isiiiMi in, i niiaucipiiia j a. ai ii iw
THERE IS HOTHma LIKE IT FOI
sj n 117 I J T
rains, sores, wounas ana L2mcce;s.
BUY IT! TRY IT!
FoTvlheumatisrn, .
For Rtfuralgia, . .
For FeVr Sore, . ,
For CholcW tVJorbus,
Use Pair; CuOil.
Use Paiij Co Oil.
Use fail) lire Uil.
Use PaiCure Oil.
Use P) Cure Oil.
Use Efii) Cure Oil,
Uaaii) Cure Oil.
i Pain Cure Oil.
tor Sprain
For HeadacheN
For Bruises. ,
i-or Corns and BunVins,
For Any Sore. .
he Pain Cure Oil.
For Any Larneness,
Use Paiq Cure Oil.
EVERT ReTTTJtfTS X AHRAWTF.Ti.
And we rlmllent;e tlijVolidi pruduro IU fKnul.
Inril Kxtprlly aua lilV' lisliy lor
MAN ytivr 33 J
ktl tot PAINiUEE 0II TsioVno other, lor
we JfARBANT IT TO CI
It Is not V.tiriiii; prrnirn1lon, but niiSTT maihi
fruni pitfP Vi'pttililo Oils, Ilfrtifl, nnd hi
m niui u rnsin sua niiu io use.
Suld JF7 all DrUffidiiU and PitHlert In Mi-dlrim
PRH'i:, 00 4 ENTH.
McCLURE & EATON, Psoprietors'
Boadlnf, Pa.
JNSLRE IN THE
LIFE INSUKANCK COMPANY
OF
N EW YORK.
F. 8. Winhton, President.
The oldest and strongest Company In the United
Slates. Assets over $46,000,0110 In casli.
a M. 8HULER. Agent.
Liverpool, l'a.
fi 44 Lit.
S. SIIIII.KK.
8. M. HllL'I.EHl
S. SIIULER & SON,
LIVERPOOL,
Terry County, Ph.,
Dealers In all kinds of
Hardware, Groceries, &c.
All goods In our linn sold at the lowest prices,
(ilveusatrla). 5 44 HI.
ACENTS WANTED FOR
A BOOK THAT WILL SELL!
1IT THE UBNOWNEI)
Hiaison iilitz.
This Is an original, Interesting, and Instructive
work, full of rare fun and humor. Indng an account
of the AUTHOR'S PROFESSIONAL LIKE, his
wonderful tricks and feats, with laughable Inci
dents and adventures ns a Magician, Necroman
cer, and Veuti'iloiulst. Illustrated with
10 FULL PAOE ENORAVINOS,
besides the Author's Portrait on steel, and numer
ous small cuts.
The volume Is free from any objectionable mat
ter, being high toned and moral In us character,
and will lie lead with deep Interest, both by old
and young. It gives the most graphic and thrill
ing accounts of tho effects of his wonderful feats
and magical tricks, causing the most uncontrolla
ble merriment and laughter.
Circulars. Terms. &c, with full Informal lon.sent
free on application lo '
, DUFI IKI.D AHHMEAD, Publisher,
43 lUt 711 bunsoin Street, Philadelphia.
WM. M. HUTCH, Attorney-at Law, and Mili
tary Claim Agent.
New Bloomneld, Perry eo Pa.
' S-Offlce Two doors West F. Mortimer
Store S 7 Ijr
"stork:
CONTINENTAL
Life Insurance Company,
OF NEW YORK,
STltTCTLY 31 Vl'UAL t
ANNotH, Jfjt-1 ,roo,ooo !
TSSUEBallthenew forms of Policies, and lire
X sents ns favorable terms as any company In the
United Stntes.
The Company will make temporary loans on Its
Policies.
Thirty days grace allowed on each payment, and
the policy held (food during that time.
Policies issued by tills Company are non-forfeit
ure.
No extra charges are made for traveling permits.
Policy-holders share in the nnnual prollts of the
Company, and have a voice in the elections and
management oi me company.
No policy or medical fee charged.
JrsTus La whence. Pres't.
M. B. Wynkooi1, Vice Pres't.
J. P.Rookks, See'y.
j . J. F. EATON,
V (jeneral Agent,
No. 6 North Third Street. f
4.29 yl J College Block, Harrlshurg, Pa.
Drugs ! Drugs
rrrilE .Subscriber has on hand and for sale, nt
JL low prices, a complete assortment of
DRUOS, MEDICINES,
AND CHEMICALS,
Of all kinds. Also, a full stock of
Concentrated Remedies,
PATENT MEDICINES,
ESSENTIAL OILS,
PERFUMERY,
HAIR OILS,
BRUSHES,
AND FANCY ARTICLES.
Pure Winew
AND
LIQUORS,
Always on hand, for Mechanical and Sacramen
tal purposes.
t&T PhiirittntT Orihr rttrrfully tinil
promptly Jillnl.
B. M. EBY,
NEWPORT, PERRY COUNTY, PA.
PROSPECTUS FOR 1872.
FIFTH YEAR.
A Repivwntiitivc and Champion of Amer
ican Art.
THE ALDINE:
An Illustrated Monthly Journal claimed to ho the
handsomest Paper in the World.
"filve my love to the artist workmen of TUB
j4Jy.'v( wnoare striving io niase meir oroica-
slon worthy oi admiration tor ueauiy. as u nas al
ways been lor useiuiness.' Henri) 11 uru needier
NEW FEATURES FOR 1873.
ART DEPARTMENT.
As a guarantee of the excellence of this depart
ment, the nublishers would beg to announce dur
ing the coming year, specimens from the following
eminent American anisLs:
W. T. Richards, (iranvillo Perkins, Jas. Smiley,
win. Hart, r. o. nariey, u. r.. j-iguoi, wm,
Heard. Victor Nehllg, Frank Beard, ieo. Kmlley
Win. II. Wilcox. Paul Dixon, Aug. Will, James 11,
ltenril mid .1. Hows.
These pictures are lielng reproduced regardless
oi exienso, hv the very best engravers iu the
country, and will liear the severest critical com.
parlson with the best foreign work, it being the
ucicrniinauon 01 me puousiu-is liuu inn. nr
DINE shall lie a successful vindication of Amer
lean taste In comtieiiiiou with any existing puuu
cation In Hie worm.
LITERARY DEPARTMENT.
I Where so much attention Is nald tn Illustration
' and get up of Hie, work, too much dependence on
I niiiwiiranreit may very naturally be feared. To an
ticipate such misgivings, it is oniy necessary to
state, that, the editorial management of THE
ALDlr. K lias neon iiurusieti io mr. uiciiaru 11,
siiiiiihiid. who has received assurances of assist.
mice from a host of the most popular writers and
poets oi Hie country.
THE VOLUME FOR 1S72
will ooiil ill ii nearly 300 pages, and 2.W tine engrav.
Iocs. Commencing with tlio numlMtr for January.
every third number will contain a beautiful tinted
picture on plate paicr. Inset ted as a frontispiece.
The Christmas number of 1S72, will he a splendid
volume In itself, containing llftyengravings, (four
In tint Vand. allliongh retailed at 81, will lie sent
without extra charge to all yearly subscribers.
A CI1ROMO TO EVERY SUBSCRIBER
was a very iHipular feature last year, and will lie
reiieitiea vxn ine present volume, iue puiiusii
ers have purchased and reproduced, at great ex
pense, the beautiful oil (minting by Skis, entitled
''Dame Nature's School." The cliromo Is 11x1:1
Inches, and is an exact fac simile, Iu size and ap
pearance, oi iue original picture.
TERMS FOR 1K72.
OueCoiiv.onevear. with Oil Cliromo. i'.OO
Five Coi'iles " " " 20.00
Any person sending 10 names and HO will receive
an extra copy gratis, making 11 copies for the
money.
Any person wishing to work for a nrtmtum, can
have our premium circular on application. We
give many beautiful and desirable articles offered
uy no oiuer paiier.
Anv luMsmi wishing to act, permanently, as on
agent, will apily, telm rcfyrence, enclosing II fur
' JAMKH SUTTON & CO.,
1-1 HI.ISI1KKS.
23 Lilierty Struct, New York.
CLF.E MURRAY.
. Attnrney-atLaw, ' . .
Centre Stiuare,
l u, It I M ..1.1 D.prv .... V.
All business entrusted to his ears will re
ceive prompt aiienuoii. i ii
HUMOROUS.
J3TWe publish tho following lines verba
tim et literatim, by request of the author :
SARAH AND CARR7.
A HONG BY JAMES HOMKB.
Why oil why my dearest Carry
Why oh why my dearest tarry
Hear yonr Sarah waits In sorrow, y
Come oh Car dear Car to-morrow.
Not can never dry these tears
But a site of you my dearest '
Not can ever case tills bosom
But to see my Car again.
All around me birds are singing
Through the woodland birds are springing;
Bnl the voice of Car's more clearer
And a sight of him more dearer. ' '
Come oh then my dearest Carry
Come, oh como and do not tarry
I will always kind receive yoa.
You will And your Sarah true.
I can freely mix with others
Talk and laugh my love to smother
But In truth their Is no other
I ean never love but you.
Then If I still full to move you
After owning that I love you
Then adieu to all earth's pleasures
Evermore adieu adieu.
Riding horse-back just at night
through tho woods in Saginaw County,
Michigan, I enmo into a clearing, in tho
middle of which stood a log house, its own
er sitting in the open door smtking his
pipe. Stopping my horse before him, tho
following conversation ensued.
"Good evening, sir," said I.
"Good evening."
"Can I got a glass of milk of you to
drink ?"
"Well! I don't know. Ask tho old
woman.
I!y litis time the wife was standing at his;
side.
While drinking it I asked :
" Think we are going to get a storm ?"
" Well 1 I really don't know. Ask the-
old woman shocan tell."
" I guess wo shall get one right away," '
said the wife.
Again I asked :
" How much land have you got cleared
hero?"
"Well! I don't really know. Ask tho
old woman she kuows."
"About nineteen acres," said sho, again
answering. ,
"Just then a troop of children came run
ning and shouting around tho corner of tho
slinnty.
" All these your children ?" said I. t
" Don't know. Ask tho old woman
sho knows best."
I didn't wait to hear her reply, but drew
rein, nnd left immediately.
t$ During a recent visit to Chicago,
Jefferson purchased a valuablo dog, took
his gun and started for English Lake, near
Crown Point, in this State, intent on a few
days' hunting. Arriving at the lako he
was not long in bringing down his first
bird.
To his surprise, his high priced Schneid
er refused to budge, and no words or threats
could make him do duty. Indignant and
disgusted, Rip gave up tho sport and re
turned to Chicago, to learn that bis dog had
been trained by a Gorman, and could not
understand a word of English.
tW" An exchango says : " Massachusetts
house-wives make the best of pickles."
Perhaps on the score of acidity they might
do very well, but we should think the size
of such pickles would be rather objectiona
ble, Givo us cucumbers instead.
EST A certain attorney, who was remark
able for coming into court with dirty hands,
observed that he had been "turning over
Coke." Ah ! exclaimed a waggish brother,
" I should think it was coal by the looks of
your hands !"
13T An old lady is collecting all the po
litical papers sho can lay her hands on, to
mako soap of. Sho says they are a "des
pcrato Bight better than ashos they are al
most clear lio."
A minister in Indiana became mixed
up in land speculations, and announced to
his congregation that his text would bo
found in " Saint Paul's Epistlo to tho Cor
inthians, section four, range three west !"
C2T A clergyman was asked whothor the
meiiilicrs of his church wore united, IIo
replied that they were perfectly united
(rozun together.
H5TA man who has traveled through
New Jersey says ho saw some land there
bo poor that you couldn't raise a disturb
ance on it.
tlT A Western editor speaks of a con
temporary who is " so dirty that every time
he goes up stairs there Is a rise in leal
estate."
83?" A cynical old bachelor says that it is
tho privilege of hoops to surrouud the love
liest of all tilings, among which are girls
and whisky. ,
tST What would a pig do that wished to
build himself a habitation T Tie a knot in
his tail, and call It a pig's tie.