ljc imcs, Ncur Bloomftclfc, f3a.
Philadelphia Advertisements.
C. 1. UMCHT A IlliO'N.
Wholcjulo L'oalci J in
1 S II ,
CllOOHCi
AND
J?roviMloiiH,
114 South Delaware Avenue,
Bolow Chestnut St.,
PHILADELPHIA, PA.
Agents for
Collins, (leddes k Co' Cauned Fruits.
I04W !
A. B. Cunningham. J. II. Lcwarn. J. B.Glelm.
Cunningham, Gleim & Co.,
Wholesale Dealers in
Tobacco, Scgars, &c,
NO. 4, NOKT1I FIFTH STREET,
PIIII.ADI.M'III A.
S2310
Peterson's Magazine.
CHEAPEST AND BEST GF ALL!
Splendid Offers for 1872.
THIS popular monthly Magazine elves more for
the money than any in the win Id. It I the
Wt colored fashions, tlie best ovlulnnl stories.
anil the liest cngravingsof anv lady's hook, (ireut
and costly Improvements will be made In lH72,when
It will contain
ONE THOUSAND PAfSES!
FOl'KTKKN SPLENDID STEEL PLATES?
TWELVE COLORED 1IKKI.1N PATTERNS!
TWELVE MAMMOTH COLORED FASHIONS?
ONE Tllol'NAND WOOD CCTSI
TWENTV-IOUR l'AUKS OK MUSIC!
All thi will 1 !lven for only two dollars a year,
or a dollar less thau Magazines of the class of
"Petersons." Its
THRILLING TALES AND NOVELETTES
Are the best published anywhere. All the most
popular writers are employed to write originally
for " reterson." In 1S72, the addition to Its usual
quantity of short stories. Five Original Copyright
Novelettes will lie Riven, viz: Bought with a
Trice, liv Ann S. Stephens; The Island of Dia
monds, 1y Harry Daiilorths Oneo too Often, by
Flunk I,ee Benedict: Lindsay's Luck, by Miss K
Hodgson ; and A Wife, by the author of " The Sec
ond Life.
MAMMOTH COLORED FASHION TLATE8
Ahead of all others. These plates are engraved
on steel, twlee the usual size, and contain six II K
ures. They will be siiierlily colored. Also sever
al pages of Household anil other recipes; ill short,
everything Interesting to ladies.
TEKMS ALWAYS IN ADVANCE.
One copv. for one year. SJ.uti : Five copies, for
one year, jti.UO; Eight copies, one year, Jliuo.
SUPERB I'llEMUlAI ENORAVINO!
Every person getting up a club of live at $1.6(1
each, or eight at J1MI each, will be entilleil to an
extra copy of the niuga.ine for 172, and also to u
copvof the superb pal lor mezzotint (size 24 Inch
es by IS) " Five Times to One Day," which, at a
store, would cost four dollars.
SiM'cimcns sent, gratis, to those wishing to
Ret up Clubs. Address,
CHARLES J. PETERSON.
No. :iM Chestnut St., Philadelphia.
Photographs !
Photographs !
'I I '
j a con cohle,
I'll olographic Artist,
XE WPOll T, PEXX'A .
THE subscriber would resiectfully rail the at
tention of the citizens of tills county to the
fact that lie Is prepared to take VUOTIH Hi A MS
In the best style of the art. Ills long experience
enables him to produce
VJCTUHKH
WHICH CAXKOT BIO
VKLLMi.
EX-
All persons are requested to call at his rooms and
examine siecliueus.
Particular attention (riven to copying likenesses
of deceased ersous, and great euro will ins taken
to furnish
Good Pictures of Children,
Framing material aud a good assortment of frames
always on baud, aud for sale at low prices,
JACUll CUUl.K.ArtM,
Newport, Perry Co., Pa
Those Old Clothes
Need lie worn no longer, as the siibserlliers are
now prepared with 11 full stin k of r ail t'assimers
from which they make clothing to order. If a gar
ment miule by us does not tit It,
Can be Exchanged for
One which will give entire satisfaction.
Full New Suits
Made at'sliort irntlce, and In a suierlor manner.
As we have the regular monthly Fashion Ucpoits,
those who Uciire cau have their garment
Cut in the Latest Stgle!
We ask all wanting Clothing to call and exam
uie our assort iiii-ut of goods suited for Mens' anil
and Boys' wear, and see specimens of our work,
V. MOUTIMKIt ft CO.,
' f. w Klin infield, l a.
HTOTlCKTOINVAl.il) I'KNMIONKH.
IN Thousands of Holdlers who are now drawing
In nil Id Pensions are entitled to Increase. All Pen
sioners who believe their Pensions loo small, ran
ow have them Increased liv making application
to i.KWI I'OT I Kit,
Claim Agent,
687 6t 1 New liloumtleld, Pa.
A GREAT MEDICAL DISCOVERY
Dr. WAXKEIt'3 G-'XITOJINIA
VINEGAR BITTERS
jfi Unndrcds cf Thousands
Bctr lottmony to th'lr Wonder-
S o ful Curstlva Kflucu.
WHAT ARE THEY?
THEY ARE NOT A VILE
FANCY DRINK
Ma4eof Poor Horn, VbUltcrt I'rmif felnt
cuii lit fit o l.lquurBloctorni,tpicc(l o:.i'. lw.., fr
etted ta picnic tlic -tasto, f..lod"lonlcfl,MaApr .
crc," ' Ilvitorxri," c, t! ct lc&d tl o lippHr n to
drr.DkoancHS and min, bo trc a Iraa Mrdiclnc, v..:C2
frcm itic Kotivo I;oc;bti(1 l.crtsof Cullforr.iu, fr:
t'rutii nil AlcoUi'Uc btiir.i.lMUa. VLcyLiu t.j
DUCAT ilLOOIl I'l III Mi: It mid A Mi l.
MV1MJ rUlNC:iri.r.apr.ct j:c:io-.&tir r.-A
Invlporator c f Uo (5yit. ci, carryli.a oir nil iiolc.-n c.
ir.uttc: aud ixitoiiutf t .0 lid to 1; Uclt. y c..-';i. ...
perron caa ttl.o Hicbj i; lite re LcourCl: toi.r.c
tlcii nd rcmcinlong nt:',vLiI.
blCO wiilbo given for an Innrall ; c . c A
tlic bont'i ai' A not dtroyc A Ly n.;utr..l j . 1 cr
other tnct.es, onU tbo ttUl t-rttua v.UU b..v.z
point of repair.
Fur IiiCuiuiiMitrt y nuJ Ch route Ihi tuic
tlsm mid oul l)yapcpiu, or InUisrniioiw
Li liot:rst JCt iiihtt i.t mid Intel Biltttiu 1 t vcir
DIhl'Ilhcn ut I be liltiod, l.ivcr, Kidnt f, nnl
UIuddtTt tiitKO XlUtcrs laa been mod tnctxtc
fu.. bi:ib lilHc-uMM cio cr.rtcd ly .iutul
Uloud. watctiiKfcM'.ocmlly produced by ('.crcauttut
ol tao i;ic'itilvr Oi jrauM.
DYhVLl'MA i i INPlCEtSTlOX, Irod
ache, Pain lu tho UhouU tr, coui;liH,T:.tt.cb8 i f tlio
CUcst, Ulzzlneta, Eour Kmctatioa cf the ttuniach,
Hod tattu lu tlio MontU, t.Uou Attacks, 1 alp.tUh a
at tlioIKurt, lnCanuuntloucf the I u: gs. I'liiitutl-o
regions of tho kldmy, nnd a huiidr. d otjcr I
sytLptuiuB, arc tho uUbpnurjunf Iyi-pcprk;.
TU y luvicoratj the Stomach a.-d bt.uiula'.o tr r
pldllvcrai.d bcwt-lc, which render them of unoqcalKd,
efllcocy lu clcotitiug thetlcdcf all impuritU8, ui:d
tmptrtln new hfo and v!fcr to tho wholo bytcui,
l-'OU ISK1N JUSi:A8i:H,i:rnHlons,TcU.r,rt'.!t
rticuci, Blotches, t potr, 1 'U pits, 1 ut r.k. Toils, ( er
buuclcs, illLE-Vtoinm, tclU-i!cud,t.cro l yue, EryLip
clao, Itch, fccurfu, J lcolorit!o:.aif Thotrl.L-.Ur.incra
and Di3ai'cn tf the l.U'.n, vt t. I.atcvcr lhuio or uaturo,
oro literally V ig tp a:idc;.rrUd or.t tl' thuBjiitcm in a
fchort t;mc 1 y tin; uju cf thesu fl tiers. Cno bot'lo l:
such CU8U8 ul'.l onvlnco thu moi;t Incredulous bi their
curative effect.
Clcanoo tho iiiittcd r.locd whenever you fl.id Its
imp'.irlticr. hu-n : u th:(-U;;h t'.t s::!u l:il linnlcs, 1 rn;
tloL cr Kk : : iLui.;-.i: I, v. lit n you f.nd ttobntnictt.fi
and fcliififh Ii Lie Lh.ii ; cl nusj It When It lH fou!t
ar.d your 1 ;U.'.t:a T. i l t- I y .Mviic.i, K ; t .c l lot'U
pure u:.d t..c 1 u'.lU t I t..ii 1 ) ,;L 1.1 ;.) f)"v,
VS, TAl'Kb d vther V;t3I.H, i;:r!.i!i in t:.o
systLtucf Rii::iiny tliom i.ro tC etiilly Ucati-oy-ed
and r inov.U. J or t..W t:trc,iUi, iiul c-.vt.;i;y
tho clrcui-r n: tn J ca ll i.ut.lu, p;l:.t d l; 1 r
guoffcn i.;.;lit.li ,1--. rii.i.n, I itMch uu p....o-h.
J.WALULIt. n-opriai.r. Ii. II. AI.'J d CO.,
DniRglBtfl und (ten. Aitentu, fcmi lnntiM-. 1 .
aud S4and 64 Cumuiu.uo tiv.!, N. w Tr,
r sold bt all D;:i;ca:uT3 a::i ; .
1780 TAKE NOTICi
1871
Are You Afflicted or Sick ?
UN 10
PA'HHNEY'S
5 I ilhUUU U L U A Pi D ri It
r OH
1
2 1 A N A C
VN Alterntlvonnd Cathnrtlc, or Tonic and
Puri;c, fordiseasesiirlslng from bad blood.
This preparation whs established lu 18711, nod
has been prepared In liiuiil form for more than
lSyears. In January or February, 1 870, anoth
er parti commenced to prepare a similar article
which is Inferior to thu genuine, and which
should not be inistuken for ours. Ask for"I)K.
Faiiknkv'b Union C'leanbkk oh Panacea,"
and iiceept no others.
The Trade Mark of tho oldest and genuine,
Is piloted in green on a yellow wrapper, lniv
I n ir also the signature of P. Falirncy, M. D.,
Chicago.
Dr. r. FahrneyU Health Memmgtr" (rives
the hli-tory and uses of the Buion Ci.eakhrii,
tcstlmonlaU, and other Information, scut free
charge. Address
Uit. P. Faiiunkt's HuoTiirus (t Co.,
Waynesboro, Franklin County, Pa.
Ask for Dr. Fahrney's Blood Cleanser and
Cl.KANSK VOUIt Ul.OOII.
t?y8old every'wherc and lu New Bloomlleld
by F. Moiitimeh & Co., only. 5 18
The IViiiiMjlvaiilft
Cattle Insurance Company.
Capital nnd Assets, $150,000.
hiiiirpnriitii hi tlii" (Jnurt of Cimimim
Pleat of HrhvylkiU Co., JV'oe. 27, '09.
Incorporated by Legislature May 10,1871.
IT has now full power to Insure Buildings,
Merchandise und all kinds of Piopeity
ngaluKt Fire, Storms or Tempests. Also, to
Insure Horses and Cattle ugalnst Death or
Theft. The rates oil Loau or Preferred Policies
are u little higher than any otbet company
doing business in the county i but this class of
policy holders ran borrow money any time the
Company can spare it out of its suplus assets,
uud the money will be loaned In rotation, so
that tho tlrst persons procuring loan policies
run be the first to borrow money if they need
It. Only
SilX I'KB CKNT. INTKHK8T
will be ehnrged for money, and louns will be
made ut nil places that good agencies ran be
established, so that tho Company will be a
Home Company wherever It does business.
The Company will also take risks on the
common cash uud mutual plans as cheap us
other reliable companies.
The Directors meet regularly on the second
Monday ot every month.
JOHN D. HADESTY, President.
JAMES II. GRIER, Secretary.
Office -308 Centre St., Pottsville, Pa.
5 29
1 All. KIN VtU of IT liHn-nnll
PRINTING I ? executed at the "iltixMiMKituX
( Timks ' steam JoftOvricH.
its :
!5'
Bi?H Sit
Off TUG7 ARB NOT A VILE j 2
A GREAT OFFER!
ONLY $1 FOU til IN VALUE t Oil. FOR $1,
$13 IN VALUE. OK. $j, 126 IN VALUE I
THE beautiful and artistic Chromo, "Isn't She
Pretty?" highly llnlshed. mounted, anil varn
ished. Size. 115x17 (after Llllle M. Hienccr.) retail
price, $8, will be sent by mall, securely done up,
I lost free, as a premium to every $3 yearly nubscri
i.ir to DKMOHKST'H MONTHLY, acknowledged
the most beautiful and useful Parlor Magazine in
Amorlca. "Isn't She Pretty t" Is a beautiful Chro.
mo and Splendid Parlor Picture, and a valuable
work of art, worth more than Double the Cost of
Subscription, and, together with DEMOKKST'S
MONTHLY affords an opportunity for the Invest,
mentor (Klsueh as may never occur again : or, in
place of "isn't She Pretty t" for fl additional,
' Hiawatha's Wooing," (after Jerome Thompson),
size, lixtf, price, Jlii, will bo sent post-free t or
bothChromos and Demnrest's Monthly, for one
year, for $. Hiawatha's Wooing is an equally
splendid work of art, a large anil beautiful Chro
mo, and worth four times the price charged.
Husbands, Fathers, and Lovers, do not fall to sub
scribe for Demorest's Magazine, and present It
witli a beautiful Chromo. It will make eves spark.
: le with delight and satisfaction, and prove a
monthly reminder of your goix! taste and kind
feeling. Address W. Jknninus Dkmohkst, tC8
llroadwnv. New York. Copies of the latest num
bers of the Magazine 25 cents each, post-free.) 48
HAllDWAllE!
HARDWARE!
rpiIE subscribers have on hand at all times,
I as complete an assortment of Hardware
as can be found lu the county.
NAILS,
HINGES,
LOCKS,
GLASS,
PAINTS & OILS,
and a fine assortment of all styles of
liuildcvs Hardware,
Also,
carpenter tools,
table cutlery,
coffee mills,
SPOONS,
SHOVELS,
HOES,
and u full stock of
Hardware of Every Description,
All of which will be sold ut the lowest mnrkct
prices. Persons wanting any article In this
line are reiiucttcd to cull undexamlncour stock.
F. MORTIMER & CO.,
New Bi.oomfiblt, Fa.
English, Roofing Felt
Is found to stand well In all climates, bcinir ex-
tensively used for Hooting' Houses, Out-Hulld-
Ings mid Bhedsj Tor Laying f Int Kools, uutters,
Lining Granaries, Storehouses, or Walls,
(either outside or inside), and for placing un
der Hlutcs or I lies. It Is ulso u cheap ana
elfcctive Ceiling on the underneath tide of raf
ters of a Slated or Tiled Hoof, and as a Ceiling
to Iron Kools, counteracting Heat, Frott, uud
Condensation of MoUturu.
Thu Kuglish Felt is put up In rolls of 2T
yards in length, by S'J inches In width, und
containing a surface ol "00 square tcct.
THREE-PLY FELT FOU ROOFING.
In Rolls, 20 Inches wide, by CO feet In length;
each roll will cover a surface 10 loci square, or
1(H) square feet.
It is to be laid a crops the roof, shingle fash
Ion, with u lap of two Inches, and secured by
uni lnir the edires w Hit ad nails anil tin raps,
When luid. the Felt la to he painted with
Mantle Roof Coating, and 8andcd. Tho Mus
tic Roof Coating is mixed, ready for use, and
is applied witli a brush.
TARRED ROOFING FELT.
Used extensively for Sheathing Houses, and for
Tar and Gravel' ltoollng, also fur placing under
Slate, Tin uud Shingle Rooling.
It is used in packing Woolens nnd Furs to
protect them from mollis.
Put up in rolls weighing 45 pounds each.
l!i pounds Felt will cover a surface of 100
square feet.
TWO-PLY FELT,
For Sheathing Houses, Rooling Temporary
Buildings, making Wiiter.Tlght Floors, aud for
placing under Slate and Shingles.
In rolls, 20 Indies wide by f0 feet In length.
Each roll will cover a surl'ucoof 10 feetsquare
or 100 square feet.
Fur Sheathing it can be milled upon the stud
ding, making a perfectly air tight sheathing,
uud sure protection from damnuess. Kats,
mice, or vermin will not go ueur It.
mica canvas hoofing,
In rolls containing 351) square feet. Is to be
laid ucross the roof, und lapped shingle fash
ion with a lap of two inches, uud secured by
nailing tlie edges with i-'ll oz. tacks.
This is the only Composition Rooling that
does not require a finishing coat of pai at or
cement.
UNTARREU SHEATHING FELT,
For Carpet Lining, Deadening Floors, and for
putting under Slate, Tin and bhlnglu Rooling.
Put up in rolls weighing 100 pounds.
10 pounds Felt will cover a surface 10 feet
square, or 100 square feet.
MANUFACTURED BY THE .
PENN ROOFING CO.,
105 South Snd Street,
6i!3 2a l'lllLADKLPIIIA, I'A.
Pensions, Bounties, &c.
WllflJW n, niTinu 1.111110 ru, m.nu.-.-., .......
6.K.. of Holdiers who were killed or died of
disease contracted In the Service of I he Culled
States, can now make application for Pension.
Au,. M..i,iiMf wan eoiiti'iiDleil discus or were
wounded, ruptured, or in any way disabled in tlie
war of lwil. , ,. .
When widows die or re marry, tlie child or
children under sixteen years ul age are entitled to
14 Vi'ie"t'l'iiie for tiling olnlms for additional bounty
has been extended six months.
Particular attention given to old suspended ease
In ll.U .lllluiunl l II t lilt' III H Ut nsllilUIIOIl. D. V
If you have, or think you have a claim against the
liOVerillUeill, can "II 'i mim ...M.n.n..v.,
No charge (or information.
J.EWM I'OTTKK,
' Attorney for Claimants, '
- 4 31 JsKW BLOOMF1KLD, PA
NEW "YORK
CONTINENTAL
r
Life Insurance Company,
OP NEW YORK,
S I'll ICTL M VT VA L t
AHNCtM, M"00,000 t
ISSUES all the new forms of Policies, and pre
seals as favorable terms asauy company in the
United Stat. s.
The Company will make temporary loans on Its
Policies.
Thirty days' grace allowed on each payment, and
the n i fey held goisl during that time.
Policies Issued by this Company are non-forfeiture.
No extra charges are made for traveling permits.
Policy-holders share in t lie annual profits or the
Company, nnd have a voice In the elections and
management of theC in pally.
No policy or medical fee charged.
ItlSTfS I.AWItKNIK. Pres't.
M. II. Wtnkoop, Vice Pres't
J. P.ltOUEKS, Scc'y.
J. F. KATON,
General Agent,
No. 6 North Third Street.
4.W yl College lllock, llarrisburg, To.
PROSPECTUS F0H 187i
FIFTH YEAR.
A Representative and Champion of Amer
ican
THE ALDINE:
An Illustrated Monthly Journal claimed to be the
handsomest Taper in tlio worm,
"Give my love to the artist workmen of THE
ALMS t: whoare striving to .1 ake their proles-
sioii worthy of admiration for beauty, as It has al
wuys been for usefulness." Ik nru Ward llcechtr.
NEW FEATURES FOR 1872.
AllT IIKI'AUTM EXT.
As a guarantee of tlio excellence of this depart
ment, tlie publishers would beg to announce dur
ing the coming year, specimens from the following
eminent American artists:
W. T. Richards, Granville Perkins. .las. Binlley,
Wm. Hart. F. O. V. Darlev. K. K. Piguet, Win.
Heard. Victor Nehllg. Frank Heard, Geo. Smiley,
v in. II. vtllcox. Paul Dixon, Aug. Will, James 11.
Beard and .1. Hows.
These pictures are lielng reproduced regardless
of expense, liv tlie very best engravers In tlie
country, and will bear the severest critical com
parison with the best foreign work. It being the
determination of the publishers that TIIKAL
DINK shall lie a successful vindication of Amer
ican taste in comoetltlon with any existing publi
cation in tlie world.
LITERARY DEPARTMENT.
Where so much attention Is paid to illustration
and get up of tlie work, too much dependence on
nii;wniw may verv naturally be feared. To an
ticipate such misgivings, it Is only necessary to
state, that, the editorial management of II Hi
AI.D1NK has been intrusted to Mr. Richard II.
Stoddard, who has received assurances of assist
ance from a host of the most popular writers aud
poet of the country.
THE VOLUME FOR 1872
will contain nearly .KM pages, and 2M line engrav
ings, (.'ommciit'lug with the number for January,
every third number will contain a beautiful tinted
picture on plain paper. Inserted as a frontisp'ece.
The Christmas number of 1K7 ' will lie a splendid
volume lu itself, coinainlug tlllyengravlngs, (lour
III tint) and. although retailed at. 1. will be sent
without extra charge to all yearly subscribers,
A CHROMO TO EVERY SUBSCRIBER
was a verv popular feature last year, and will be
leoealed w ith die liieK-nt Volume. I he oubllsli-
rrs have purchased and reproduced, at great ex
pense, tlie Iieuiiliful oil painting by Skis, entitled
"Dame Nature s School." I he chromo Is n x 1.1
Inches, and is an exact, fac simile, in sie uud ap
)earaucc, of the original picture.
TERMS FOR 1H7Z
One Copy, one year, w ith Oil Chromo, J5.no
I'lvcLopies "
Anv person send'nglO names and Old will receive
an extra copy gratis, making 11 copies lor tlie
money. . .
Any iersoii wishing to work for a mvm vm, can
have our premium circular 011 application. We
tive many beautiful uud dcslrublu articles offered
y no oilier paper.
Any iiersou wishing to act. permanently, as our
agent, will apply, with reji rente, enclosing 81 for
outut.
JAMKS KtriTOM LU,
ITHLISIIKKS.
23 Liberty Street, New York.
RLAIN ACADEMY!
T
UK FALL
SESSION of this Institution will
oM ii on
Wednesday, November 21st, 1S71.
SUMMER HI'SSION of Five Months closes on
OctolK-r With, 1H71.
Whole number of Tuplls In attendance during
Ter W
Average Attendance, 60
Thankful for the patronage of the people, grate
ful for all favors, and hoping that age may Im
prove tlie school liolli in prestige and use lumens,
we promise to exert all our eltortslo secure the
advancement, intelligence, and general interests
of the pupils enlrited to our charge.
nAltl). C. PALM, Principal.
W. L. llau Ki.EV. Assistant.
W. H. Cisna. M. 1)., of Ickrsburg, has been en
caged for this institution as Leciuieron Anatomy.
Physiology, 6
now closiiii;.
livulolnirv. &11
His Lecluics during the session
now closing, were Interesting anil instructive, ami
1, an
ii we
seemed to be appreciated by the Students and well
received by tlie people. 42lf
tl
.KMIirv A SKOHTMKNm
bl'l.KNllX iVhSOltiMKN X
OF
D
HV- (JOOD
s
ItY .(J00D
Suited to tho Season,
Are Now Offered for Sule by
F. MORTIMER, & CO.
Stage Line Kctwccu Newport and Ken
Hcriiiuntowii.
CJTAGES leave New liermanlown daily at fiur
O o'clock a. m. .auiiisoiiigai 1. .si a. in. ure u
i.ui'k ut s 11. 111. New Itloolillleld lit 0U a. III.
Arriving at Newport to connect with the Ae
oiiiiiimI:iIIoii train hast.
Ileliirnlngleuves Newport on the arrival of the
Mall 1 rain irom rniiaucipnia, ai x.-w v. in. t
, Z. RICE. Woprietot.,
nUMOEOUS
No lielution.
Monkeys are scarce in Michigan. A sad
dler in Detroit kept ono for a per, that us
ually sat on the count or. A workman one
day canto in, tho proprietor being in the
back room. The customer, seeing a Kiddle
tlmt suited bitn, askedjtlio price.
Monkey said nothing.
Customer said, "I'll give you twenty
dollars for it," laying down the money,
which the monkey shoved into the drawer.
The man then took tho saddle, but the mon
key mounted him tore bis hair, scratched
bis face, and the frightened customer
screamed for dear lifo. Proprietor rushed
in nnd wanted to know what was the fuss.
"Fuss?" said tho customer, "fuss? I
bought a saddle of your son sitting there,
nnd when I went to tuko it bo wouldn't let
me have it." .
Tlio saddler apologized for the monkey,
but assured him that bo was no relation.
Sharp Shooting.
Tlie following dialogue on sharp shooting
quietly took placo between a Virginia and
a Yankee picket:
"I Bay can you fellows shoot?"
" Wall, I reckon we can, some. Down in
Misssippi we knock a humble bee's eye
winker oir at three hundred yards.
Oh, that ain't nothing to tho way we
shoot up in Vormont. I belonged to a
military company up thero of a hundred
men, and went out for practice every week.
The captain draws ns single file, and sets a
cider barrel rolling down hill, and each
man takes his almt at the bung liolo as it
turns up. It is alt.'nvards cxainim d,and if
thero is a shot that didn't go in tho bting
holo tlie member who missed it is expelled.
I belonged to the company ten years, and
thero ain't been nobody expelled yet.
A Ctrl 11 in Cure.
A tender and touching Teuton, practis
ing as a peddler, went out to denlout a liq
uid exterminator of bed-bugs, ho hit up
on a customer who put up his cash and
pocketed tho prize.
" Now I'vo got. tlio article, tell me how
to use it," said Joe Harness.
' Ki toll to pug lint drop von lectio drop
into his moitt," answered tho peddler.
"Dertuyful you say!" exclaimed tho
purchaser; "I kills it in half thu time by
stamping on it."
"Veil," calmly replied tho peddler, " dat
ish a goot way ton, to kill him."
And so .Too Harness thought.
tW A newly converted young man at one
of thu recent camp meetings giving his
expet ienco to tlio congregation, remarked:
" 1 have always tried to live a Christian
life, and I don't think I ever did tiny body
any harm but ono time, when my nigh ox
didn't come to the sciatcli I swore yes, I
cussed him" taking his handkerchief to
wipe tlie tears from his eyes. A wag from
tho rear of thu crowd asked, "What did
you say to him'.'" "I luld him to gco up,
you darned old geranium."
CaT" They tell a story of a young tele
graph operator, who, to show his dexterity
before his intended, escorted liertoiliotele-
giaph ollice, nnd took oil' the tirst message
that came to hand. It happened to bo
from a lady to her husband, mid was in
these simple words, " Isaiah, ix, fl." Curi
ous to know what thu winds imparted, tho
young lovers referred to the nearest Itiblo.
Tlic lit st line of tlie text sutistied their cu
riosity. CSTMr. Theophilus Popp, of Poppville,
in Pop county, fancying himself to be very
popular w ith his lady hive, pnppi d tin- ques
tion to her under n poplar tree, wheie she
referred him to her poppy.whn, when asked
his consent, lalioi in;; under the iiilliicnco of
ginger pop, pupped lino out of the door to
the tunc of "Pop goes tlio weasel,"
r)' A Western editor was serenudcd,and
in the next, issue nt' his puKir compliment
ed the serenading parly on their judicious
musical taste in tlio selection of pieces."
Hu was iiifiirmed by a listener, afler tho
publication, that, they had jlaycd the
" Rogue's March."
tST"Secicts," says Josh Killings, "are
poor property, enyhow; ef yew circulate
them yew losu them, and if yi w keep them
yew loso tho ititeiest on tlio investment."
CJT A very sh-nder man asked a friend
what character ho had bettor tako at a mas
querade, and was jidvise d to braid his legs
and appear as a whiplash.
riT"Two ladies wen-traveling together iu
tho cars when a stranger nskrd the elder
what relationship sho bore to the younger.
The answer was quick and pertinent:
8I10 is my sister's daughter, nnd my daugh
ter's sister's 1" How?
3TAsick man was told that his wifo
would probably marry again. " All right,"
said he, "for there will he one man tu la
ment my death."
pyMen mnko their wills when dying;
women are not allowed the same legal priv
fligo because (hey urn held to havo had
them during their lives. ' ' ,