Ijc imc0, .New; BlDpmficl&, Pa,
riiiladclpbia Advcrllsemcuts.
. 1. liXKiUT & IIKO'8.
.... , i .
Wholcsalu L'tialois i:i "
FISH, ;
ChecNO , , V
AMI ,
vihIoiih,
114 South Delaware Avenue, '
Bolow Chostnnt St.,
PHILADELPHIA, PA. ' V
Agents for
Collins, Gcddcs & Co's Canned Fruits.
IMltt
A. B. Cannlnglmm. J. II. Lewars. J. 8. Glelim.
Cunningham, Gloim & Co.,
Wholesale Dealers in
Tobacco, Scgars, &c,
NO. 4, NORTH FIFTH 8TUEKT,
nill.AIHCT.l'HIA.
82310
THE AMERICAN WASHER!
PRICE, $5.50!
THE AMKKIOAN WASHER 8AVKS MONKY,
TIME, AND DlfUlXJKKY.
The Fatigue of Washing Pay no Longer Dread
ed, but Economy, Efficiency, und Clean Cloth
Ing, Sure. . .,
In calling public attention to this little machine,
a lew of tlio invaluable qualities, (not possessed
by any other washing macbine jet invented,) are
bere enumerated.
It Is the smallest, most compact, most lmrtnble,
most slinplo In construction, most easily operated.
A child ten years old, with a few hours' practice,
can thoroughly comprehend and effectually use It.
There iB no adjusting, no screws to nnnoy, no de
lay in adapting I It Is alwavs ready for use I It
Is a perfect little wonder) It is a miniature Riant,
dolmt more work and. of better quality, than the
most elaborate and costly. One naif of the labor
Is fully saved by its use, and the clothes will last
one-half longer than by the old plan of the rub
board. 11 will wash the largest blanket, or three
shirts at a time, washing thoroughly I In a word,
the ablution of any fabric, from a Quilt to a I .ace.
Curtain or Cambria Handkerchief, aro equally
In the capacity of this LITTLE OEM! It call bu
fastened to any tub and taken oil at will.
No matter now deep rooted a prejudice may
Mist against Washing Machines, the moment this
little machine li seen to porform Its wonder), all
doubts of its cleaning effleacy and utility are ban
ished, and the doubter and detractor at once be
come the fast friends of the machine.
We have testimonials without end, setting forth
Its numerous advantages over all others, and from
hundreds who have thrown aside the unwieldy,
useless machines, which have signally failed to
accomplish the object promised 111 prominent and
loud sounding advertisements.
It Is as perfect for washing as a wringer Is for
wringing. The price, another paramount Induce
ment to purchasers, lias been placed so low that
it is within the reach of every housekeeper, and
there Is no article of domestic economy that will
repay the small investment so soon.
o
All that Is asked for this 0 It HAT LABOR
SAV Kit, Is a fair trial. We guarantee each ma
chine to do its work perfectly.
Sole Agents for Tna llNtTBH States,
A. II. FRANCISCUB & CO.,
613 MARKET ST., PHILADELPHIA, FA.
The largest and cheaiwst WOODEN WARE
HOUSE In the United States. 5 35 13, c.
Photographs ! ' Hiotosraplis !
JACOB COJlLli, -
Photographic Artist,
NEWPORT, J'EXX'A.
THE subscriber would respectfully call the at
tention of the citleus of this county to the
fact that he Is prepared to take l'llOTOUHAHIH
in the best style of the art. His long experience
enables him to produce
1'iCTUiiEs . wiircir canaot be ex-
(JELLED.
All persons are requested to call at his rooms and
xainlne siieelmens.
Particular attention given to copying likenesses
of deceased persons, and great care will be taken
to furnish .
, Good Pictxirea of Children.
Framing material and a good assortment of frames
always on hand, and for sale at tow prices.
' ' ' JACOB COHLE, ArtM,
Newport, Ferry Co., Fa
Those Old Clothes
Need tie worn no longer, as the subscribers are
now prepared with a full stock of Fall Casslmers
from which they make clothing to order. II a gar
ment made by us does not lit It,
I
Can be Exchanged for
Ono which will give entire natlitf action.
t . . : i
Fall Kew Suits
Made at short notice, and In a superior manner,
As we have the regular monthly Fashlou Reports,
those who desire can have their garments
Cut in the Latest Style!
We ask all wanting Clothing to can and exam
ine our assortment of goods suited tor Mens' and
and Hoys' wear, and see specimen of our work.
F. MORTIMER CO..
. , Ntw lsiotiiiflfld, Fa.
VTOTICBTOINVAUI) PENSION Kits.
Jri Thousands of Soldiers who are now drawing
Invalid 1'euslons are entitled to iuoroase. All Pen
sioners who believe their Pensions too mall, can
now have them Inercaicd bv making application
to LEWIS POTTER,
Claim Audit.
837
New llloomtleld, Pa.
A GREAT MEDICAL DISCOVERY
" Dr. WAXKER'S O-iLXFOENIA
VINEG-AR' BITTERS
ii
Hundred! of Thousands ?
L " Dear tostimony to tnetr Wonder-
So fal Curative Efforts. B
tiw lonnmony o ineir wonder
ful C ur tire KffocU.
f WHAT ARE THEY? f gj
ill
- Ttrirsr kltv. vrim k tttt t?
al FANCY DRINK, 11
itedoor Poor Ran, Whisker, Proof Hull-its
ititd Kcfuso JMtiuurs doctored, eplccd andi-vjct-cnod
to t 'case the tuto, cr.llcd"Toulci,""AFpct;i.
ctL," ' istorcrs," AO., that lend tlio tippler on to
C:nkot:asj aaa ruin, but sro a trno Medicine, nmjo
trcci I.utlTO Looacnd lltrbsof California, fi ro
t'lutil nil Alcoliclle ht iiituiaiifc, ll.cyuo 11:9
o::kat bloou puiupieii end a i.ii i:
CilVINM l'IilMCn'i.Kctr.ct Juovaur t.:i
lnvigorutjr cf t;i,. t.ti.!:', cai-i'j:ug cii all po. 301.0.. J
uictiLr c.iU rcrtciinj t. c tl..'cu to 1, hcf.Lycci.Lit.i....
op-r.on cut..:.u ll.ttj LI: ton Lccorw.. tui.ivo
tlon aad rurar.tn lcmg n;;vtll.
KlO wlbe glvcafcrau tnrcntler.a. 1 r vl.'.id
tlio bones aro tot destroyed by L-.rJ . a cr
other mcar.t, aud tlio vltU or.'aus tvt.ua Ujt., ,.t,,o
point or riDUr. ,
For IiiUuimi.i.lnt'y mid Ckrouic Khcvmif
tinm mid (.out, DyrpciiHln, ur IndiiieHlloii,
liilluiik, Ki'Uiluciit uuil Intermittent Pcvcin
DlECiikt H ui" the l;iocd, I.ivcr, Kidno) n, r.i:d
lhtildcr, tiit,e Hitters ltve been xuott succctr
fu.. bu.h l.Irroi.cu tro cavtcd ly Tiilntcd
Itlood. Tlitclt lr r:?r.crally prodt:ccd by 1.jrc,Jutu:ct.t
Cfthu lllllfMivc tl UL.
i)Yri:r!iA o indigestion, iicnd
aeltc, I'aln In tl.c Si onU bis, to-jt:b,T,f!it-.ti of llin
Cliest, DltilncM, Eour :rtictetio:is -( tlio Ftomatit,
Iiad tastu lu tlio JIol'.Ii, B.lluus Alti.r.ks, 1'olpiUtlon
of tlielioart, InBumuiationcf the lx: , l'alnlitlio
regions of thu Kidneys, and a hnadrcd otlicr piMiiul
yu.ptoms.bru tlio oHHprtiipsi)f CytpLpt-4c.
Tie y Invigorato tlio Bton.ach tjd iUuiulaio I. J tcr
pld liver and bowels, which rcndcr'tliaciofcacqaa'.lcil
tfflcaej lii oleaubtng tl.ol.looilcr an Ircptirltlcs, aud
lmpartitti; new l.to a:id v:ui' t:i t'-.o v. aoio syutcui.
FOll Mi. IN l.Jt l: IM, Eruption:!, Totljr, Pull
lthcnm, INctelies, 1 1.01 ai 1 li , I m iuIcf, Colls, Ttr
bonclcfl, Klt.K-v, liiui, L'tkla-iiead, t ere l'yea, Erysip
elas, lteli, fceurlti, LLicu!i.n.t:o:.u cr tlio tiLlu, lluinora
and li8iantt 1 f t 0 :.l::u, c t' whatever iifinio or nature,
aro literally t' ig t p aiidcaiil.ii out of tlio Eyutcm in a
Uon time IjUuiof ili-u.it. tiers. One bottlo In
snch eueco v:i;i t t:n ;nco tlio r.-tctt Ucrcdaloua ci' their
curattvo effect. r
Clcutivo tlm t.utr d I'tiod whenever you find Its
Imparities ban 1 u..-eti;;li t':oak!a larimplcs, F-rnp-tlou
cr bciu ; L;b.i.B U . li. u yuu UaU u obstructed
and alusitlsii 1.. t.Ud w It wlicn It la fjnl,
and your 1. In., b v: It 1; .:.,o. Ke.p t.ie blood
para and the h Mth 1 1 1 ;;" m will follow.
riN, 'PA l li a .l ta.iur WOil.ltM. lar.'.ing in tlio
ratcmcr 101....!. t..ou.uai.t.,JLU'cti:a'.y destroy
ed and r irtev. ii. 1 r ttir'..:a,jnti, cuvuX ctixTitlly
tlio circular luwiu.l ev li bi-ttlu, ilnt-dbi fuur laa
guatfcs mi, 1,1111. iuc.i uu LpMuiiiti.
J. WALELll, Proprutor, :i. U. hwHiS ALU u CO.,
Draffglsta and (len, Ai,euls. Sau Freneu-cr , t J ,
and 89 and U Coutuiorca Btt-oet, New Tor:..
tF"80LB IIT ALL DKUCOISTS AK1) LtA:.,. ;:s
1780 TAKE NOTICE. 1871
Are You Afflicted or Sick ?
TJHK
P AIIRNE Y'S
BLOOD CLEANSER
oft
P AN AOKA5
AN Alterative and Cuthartlc, or Tonic and
1'arKC, fordiscasosarlsinir from bad blood.
Tills preparation was established in 1870,and
has been prepared In liquid form for more than
18 years, lu January or February, 1870, anoth
er party commenced to prepure a similar article
which Is Inferior to the genuine, and which
should not be mistaken for ours. Ask for"Dtt.
Fahhkky'b Ulood Cleanser on Panacea,"
and accept no other. . .
The Trude Mark of the oldest and genuine,
Is printed lu green on a yellow wrapper, hnv
Inif also the signature of P. Fuhrncy, M. O.,
Chicago. ,
" Dr. r. Fahrney't Health jUcHtngtr" gives
the history and uses of the Blood Cleakskk,
testimonials, and other Information, scut free
charge. Address
Dr. P. Faiiknkt'b Hiiotiiekb & Co., "
Waynesboro, Franklin County, Pa.
Ask for Dr. Fuhrncy's Blood Cleanser and
CLEANSE VOUU BI-.OOI. ,
t-S Bold everywhere and In New BlooniUeld
by F. Mobtiheu & Co., only. 618
The I'oiiiim) Ivnula
Cattle Insurance Company.
Capital und Assets, $150,000.
lneorportitnl hy the Court of Cummoii
1 a of Schuylkill Co., Not. 27, .60.
Incorporated by Legislature May 10,1871.
IT has now full power to insurt Bufldlngs,
Merchandise and all kinds of Property
agulnst Fire, Stortna or Tempests. - Also, to
insure Horses and' Cattle against Death or
Theft. The rates on Loan or preferred Policies
are a little higher than nny other company
doing business in the county but tills class of
policy holders can borrow money any time the
Company can spare It out of Its suplun assets,
and the money will be loaned in rotation, so
that the first persons procuring loan policies
can be the first to borrow money If they need
It. Only , .
MIX l'Elt CENT. INTKHE8T
will be charged for money, and loons will be
made at all places that good agencies cun be
established, so that the Company will be a
Homo Company wherever It does business,
The Company will also take risks on the
common cash aud mutuui plans as cheap as
other reliable companies.
The Directors meet regularly on the second
Monday of every mouth.
JOHN D. 1IADESTY, President.
JAMES n. ORIEK, Secretary. -
Office,-308 Centre 'St., Pottsvilie.Va.'
. 5S9. ! . ..
I AM, KINDS of Pr ntlnftneutly
PRINTINQI executed at the "illMKMriKU
cfH:uicu at mo aiiMHyi
Iimm ' bVrKAM JoaOtrwKn.
. t
ill' t5
P A
English Hoofing Felt
Is found to stnnd well In nil climates, being ex
tensively used for Roofing Houses, Out-Bulld-Ings
and Bhcds; for Laying Flat Roofs, Gutters,
Lining Granaries, Storehouses, or Walls,
(either outside or Inside), and for placing un
der Slates or Tiles. It Is also n cheap and
effective Celling on the nndcrneath side of raf
ters of a Slated or Tiled Roof, and as a Ceiling
to Iron Roofs, counteracting Heat, FroU, and
Condensation of Moisture. i
The EngllBh Felt Is put tip In rolls of 25
yards In length, by 8'J Inches In width, and
containing a surface of 200 siuur feet.
THREE-PLY FELT FOR ROOFING.
In Rolls, 20 Inches wide, by 60 feet In length)
oncli roll will cover a surface 10 feet square, or
100 sqoaro fecU .: I '
It ts to be laid ncroBS the roof, shlnglo fash
ion, with a lap of two Inches, and secured by
nailing the edges with 8d nulls and tin caps.
When laid, the Felt Is to be pointed with
Mastio Roof Coating, and Banded. Tlio Mas
tic Roof Coating Is mixed, ready for ues, and
Is applied with a brush.
TARRED ROOFING FELT.
tTsetl extensively for Sheathing Houses, and for
Tnr and Gruvcl Roofing, also for placing under
Slate, Tin and Shinglo Roolltig.
It is used In packing Woolens and Furs to
protect them from moths.
Put up In rolls weighing 45 pounds each.
15 pounds Felt will cover a surfuco of 100
square- feet.
TWO-PLY FELT,
For Bhcathlng Houses, RooOng Temporary
Buildings, making Wttter.Tlght Floors, und for
placing under Slate and Shingles.
In rolls, 26 Inches wide by 50 feet In length.
Each roll will cover a surface of 10 feet square
or 100 sqnnre feet.
For Sheathing It can be nailed upon the stud
ding, making a perfectly 'air tight sheathing,
and sure protection from dampness. Rats,
mice, or vermin will not go near It.
mica canvas Roofing,
In rolls containing 250 square feet. Is to be
laid across the roof, and lapped shingle fash
ion with a lap of two Inches, and secured by
nailing the edges with 20 or., tacks.
This is the only Composition Roofing thut
docs not require a finishing cout of paint or
cement.
UNTARRED SHEATHING FELT,
For Carpet Lining, Deadening Floors, and for
putting under Slate; Tin and Shingle Roofing.
rut up in rons weigmng liw pounds.
10 pounds Felt will cover a surface 10 feet
square, or 100 squaro feet.
MANUFACTURED BY THE '
PENN ROOFING CO.,
.105 South 2nd Street,
6 33 Bit PHILADELPHIA, PA.
HARDWARE!
HARDWARE!
flIlE subscribers buve on hand at all times,
X a complete an assortment of Hardware
as can be found in the county. -
NAILS, . . ..
HINGES,
1 LOCKS,
GLASS,
TAINTS & OILS,
and a fine ussortmcut of all styles of
Ru ildcrs Jfardwa re,
, Also, ,
CARPENTER TOOLS, ,
TABLE CUTLERY,
COFFEE MILLS,
SPOONS,
SHOVELS,
HOES,
and a full stock of 1
Hardware of Ere ry Description,
All of which will be sold at the lowest market
prices. Persons wanting any article in this
line are requested to cull aud cxauiineour stock.
F. MORTIMER ' & CO.," '
New Bloomfibj.I), Pa.
The Colby Wringer
WITH
Moulton's Patent Rolls.
The Most Perfect I
The Cheapest! ;
, And Heat Wriwjer in the Vorll .
Rolls are pure white Rubber. Frame can
never rot, rust or wear out. It takes less
room than any other, ia lighter, fastens Itself
to the tub, runs easier, and Is THE FAMILY
FAVORITE wherever used,
It Is WARRANTED In every case. We want
gooU active ,s . . , , ,''
LIVE ACENTS
to canvass lu evory town, to whom good wagos
are insured. Full instructions and particulars
given upon application to Colby Bho's A Co.,
bog Broadway, N. Y 6laUi.
Pensions, Bounties,' &c.
WIDOWS, Minor Children, Mothers,' Fathers.
&e of Holdlers who were killed or died of
(Unease contracted In the Aervlco ot the United
Males, ean now make application for Pension.
Also Soldiers who contracted disease or were
wounded, ruptured, or In any way disabled In the
war of MM.
When widows die or re-marry, the child or
children under sixteen years of aue are entitled to
a Pension. - ;
The time for filing claims for additional bounty
has been extended six mouths. .. , .. .. i
Particular attention given toold suspended ease
lu tlie dlllereitt depailmeuts at WasliliiKlon. It. (J
If you have, or think you have a claim auainst the
(lovHruineiil, call on or add less the uudeisigued,
it charge for lufoimatiou. ,. ,
I.KWIS PO'i'TEH, i '
j , . AttoriuiyforClalmanti,' ,' 4
, 4 31 KiW BLOOMFIKU). PA
RLAIN A CADEJIY!
THU FALL SESSION' of this Institution will
open on
Wednesday, NoYember 21st, 1871.
H17MMKM SESSION of Five Months clown on
October 2uth, 1871. . -,; ..
Whole number of rujills In attendance during
Term (15
Average Attendance, ....i 50
' Thankful for the patronago of the people, grate
ful for all favors, ami hoping that aae may Im
prove the school both In prestige anil usefulness,
we promise to exert nil our elVorts to secure the
advancement. Intelligence, and general Interests
of the pupils entrusted to our charge.
.., r . UARD.C. PALM, Principal,
W. L. Biucki.et, Assistant.
W. It. Cisna. M. V., of Ickcshurg, has lteen en
Caged for this Institution as Leetureron Anatomy,
Physiology, &c. Ills lectures during the session
now closing, were interesting and instructive, and
seemed to be appreciated by the Students and well
receivod hy the people. . i 'lt
PK0SPKCTU8 FOR 1872.
FIFTH YEAR
A lieproKentativo and Champion of Amer
ican Art.
T II E AiTd INE:
An Illustrated Monthly Journal claimed to be the
handsomest Paper 1 n the Woi Id.
"(Jive my love to tho artist workmen of TUB
A1A)ISK whoare striving to make their profes
sion worthy of admiration for beaut v. as It has al
ways been for usefulness." Henry Varii ileecher.
NEW FEATURES FOR. :872.
Alt! DKPAltTMENT.
As a guarantee of the excellence of this depart
ment, the publishers would beg to announce dur
ing the coming year, siieelmens from the following
eminent American artists:
W. T. ltichards, Granville Perkins. Jas. Smiley,
Win. Hart, F. (). C. Darley. It. K. Plguut, Win.
Heard. Victor Nehllg, Prank Heard. (Too. Smiley,
Win. If. Wilcox. Paul Dixon, Aug. Will, James II.
Heard and J. Hows.
Theso pictures are lielng reproduced regardless
of exjiense, bv the very best engravers lu the
country, and will bear the severest critical com
parison with the best foreign work, It being the
determination of the publishers that THU A
DINK shall lie a successful vindication of Amer
ican taste In competition with any existing publi
cation in the world.
LITEHAKY DKPAltTMENT.
Where so much attention Is paid to Illustration
and get up of the work, too lunch dependence on
amearanm may very naturally l feared. To an
ticipate such misgivings. It is onlv necessary to
state, that, the editorial management of TUB
AI.DiNK has liecn Intrusted to Mr. Richard II.
Stoddard, who has received assurances of assist
ance from a host of the most popular writers and
poets of the country.
THE VOLUME FOR 1872
will contain nearly 3(M pages, and 230 Hue engrav
ings. Commencing with tlio number for January,
every third numlier will contain a beautiful tinted
picture on plate paier. Inserted as a frontispiece.
The Christmas numlier of 1S7'2, will lie a splendid
volume in Itself, containing nftyengruvlngs, (four
in tint) and, although retailed at SI, will lie sent
without extra charge to all yearly subscribers.
A ClIliOMO TO EVEHY SUBSCRIBER ,
was a very popular feature last year, and will lie
reieated with the present volume. Tho publish
ers have purchased and reproduced, at great ex
pense, the beautiful oil painting by ISitis, entitled
''Dame Nature's School." The chroino Is 11x13
Indies, and is an exact facsimile, in size and ap
pearance, of the original picture. . .
TKKM.H FOR 1872.
One Copy, one year, with Oil ('hromo, ': js.no
Five Copies " " " au.OO
Any person sending 10 names and IMO will receive
an extra copy gratis, making 11 copies for the
money.
Any person wishing to work for a premium, can
have our premium circular on application. We
give many beautiful and desirable articles offered
by no other paper. ' . .
Any jH-rson wishing to act, permanently, as our
agent, will apply, tcitt reference, eucloslug $1 for
out lit.
JAMES SUTTON & CO.,
I'l'lll.l.SllRHH.
2.1 Liberty Street, Now York.
ZXTE'W" YORK
CONTINENTAL
Life Insurance Company,
OF NEW YORK,
STMCTLY MUTUAL t
AMHctM, w-,f,:
ISSUES all the new forms of Policies, and pre
Rents as favorable terms as any company lu the
United states.
The Company will make temporary loans on Its
Policies.
Thirty days' grace allowed on each payment, and
the policy held good during that time. ;
Policies issued by this Company are nun forfeit
ur.
No extra charges are made for traveling permits.
Policy-holders share In the annual profits ot the
Company, and have a voice in the elections aud
management of the Company.
Nu policy or medical feecharged.
Jwrti l.AWKKNi'K, l'res't.
M. li. Winkooi', Vice l'res't.
J. P.ltouBHs, Hec'y.
J. F. EATON.
General Agent,
No. 8 North Third Street,
i2tfyl College Block. Ilarrlsburg, Pa.
Ahi'i.Kvnm a ssoiiTMKNm
Bl'l.KM)lLf iVbSOlt'i'MKN X
DUY-OOODCJ
Suited to the Season,
Are Now Offered for Sale by
F. MORTIMER, CO.1'1 1 '
Stuge Line IMwet-A Newport aud New
(Jermantown.
STAOKS leave New Uermaiilown dally at four
o'clock a. m. LandlHliurgatT. 30 a. m. Ureen
park at 8 a. in. New llloomtleld at US a. ni.
Arriving at Newport tu connect with the AO
coiiimndal Ion train Fast,
Returning leaves Newport on the arrival of tin
Mull Train from Philadelphia, at 2.30 p. in.
. RICH, KoiMieior.
HUMOROUS
ISy Look here, l'onipey, de corn's
Up." " De corn up 1 I only planted it
yesterday." "Ik now dat, but de pigg
got in last nigLt and guv it a lift."
ar " Mary, t nm glad your heel has
got well" ' Why," said laryt opening
wide her large blue eyes, with uBtonigh
mcnt. " Oh, nothing, said John, only I
see it's able to ba out."
aSr" " I'll give that girl a piece of my
mind," said a young fellow, speaking of
one who had jilted him. " I would't,"
replied a by-stander, " you've none to.
Fpare." . , , . .
fed" A woman in Wisconsin says that
when her husband is a little drunk he ,
kicks her, and when he is very drunk
she kicks him ; she adds that she does
uioat of tho kicking.
fiQy A good story is told of a popu
lar railroad conductor recently chosen
deacon of a church in Middlesex coun
ty. A few Sundays after his new ap
pointment, it became his duty to ass ist iti
taking up a collection. He surprised tho
congregation by starting out with the
characteristic ejaculation, " Tickets, gen
tlemen !" The contribution that day was
unusually lurge.
te?"Ono vote was lost in California
thus: With considerable trouble the vo
ter deciphered a poster announcing that
certain candidates would address the in
habitants of Gilroy and vicinity, and after
a moment's deep meditation exclaimed :
"Vicinity! Whar's viciuity? I've lived
hyar-ubouts for nigh onto fifteen years,
and there is no such place nigh, an' any
party what don't know the geography of
the country better nor that can't get my
vote."
irSf " A St. Louis man, who believes
iu St. Louis and his beer, visited Du
buque recently, and being thirsty, called
for a glass of lager beer. After drink
ing, he remarked, with indescribable gus
to. " A-h-h 1 that's splendid, St. Louis
beer is it not." " St. Louis ?" reiterated
the Teutou, " no sir-ce I that ii Topook
peer!"' "What, have you a brewery
here?" queried surprised St. Louis. "A
prewery ? sefTen tousant Cherman's aud
one prewery H Whcro you was leaf when
you was home f"
' 3r Some one asked Mrs. Cady Stan
ton if she thought that girls possessed
the physique necessary for the wear and
tear of a college -course of study. Her
reply is both sensible and sarcastic. " I
would like to see you," said Mrs. Stan
ton, " take thirteen hundred young men
and lace them up, and hang ten to twen
ty pounds weight of clothes to their
waists, perch thetn upon three inch heels,
cover their heads with ripples, chignons,
rats and mice, and stick ten thousand
hair pins into their scalps ; if they can
stand all this, they can stand a littlo Lat
in and Greek."
tf Whoii King James was once pass
ing through Colchester, it was resolved
that the Mayor should compliment him
on his arrival, - ,
It so happened that this chief magic
trato was eminently stupid, which is look
ed upon as no strange thing in England.
The town clerk was appointed to at
tend him at his back, and whisper what
ha was to say to the King. When they
came into his Majesty's presence, the
clerk, desiring to encourage the Mayor,
whispered iu his ear :
' ' Hold up your head and look like a
man !" i ...
"Hold up your head and look Wet n
man !" did the Mayor bawl to the King.
The clerk, astonished, whispered : f
" What tho deuce do you mean 1''. ,
The Mayor balled out :
" iri the deuce do you mean f"
The clerk, sweating with fear aud vex
ation, whispered :
" Hy heaven, you will ruin us all." ' '
The Mayor immediately repeated :
" By heaven you will ruin u$ all I" ' '
" The clerk, in violent rage, said :
" Oh, yon blundering puppy, I wish
you had never come here.
The Mayor again bawlod: ' ;
"O i y"u olunderimj pvppy, J with you
had never come here." ,
The clerk, on this, immediately took
to his heels, aud tho mayor followed him,
leaving the King in a fit of laughter,
though not without rage.
. quick Work. , , , ,
Beveral yenrs ago when . new churches
wore erected, aud prosperity dawned upon
Virginia City, a certain earnest clergyman
on a Sunday morning, was exhorting those
with anxious aud troubled conscience to be
sure and call on their pastor' for guidance
and praypr. ( , . . . ..
Said he, " To show you my bretliorn, the
blessed results of these visits with your
pastor, I will state to you that only yester-.
day a gentleman of wealth called upon ni
for counsel and instruction ; and now to-day
my friends to-day he sits among us a
happpy husband, and a father aud ft Chris-,
tlan." .., , . i ... i , i .:
A young lady in. the nudionoe whispered,
to a matron, ." Was'ut that pretty quick
work?"