Ijc imc0, New Sloomfitli, Pa,
Bloomilold Academy!
An English and Clamtlcal School
FOB
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN '
Young Men Prepared For College.'
A Normal S' lwnl ant! a Si hnul of Art.
FALL TERM COMMENCES
On Monday, the 2Slh of August, 1871
A 8 Hie above school lias recently been re organ
2. Ired, student cauenter any time.
l'rnf. WM. II. DILL, a graduate ol ltutgcr's Col
lege, N. J.. Principal.
Miss ANNA K. ALT.srtlRGEn, a graduate or
Esther Institute, Columbus, Ohio, teacher of ilu
le, Painting, Drawing, French anil German,
livery facility for the training of the youth of both
Rexes In all that constitutes a liberal and thorough
education.
The Collegiate Department
embraces all the higher branches. Including the
Latin and Greek Languages, Engineering, I'ractl
cal Hurveylng, Literature, Natural Science aud ad
vanced Alatliumatlcs.
Vacation: July and August, and one week at
Christmas.
Terms: For Boarding. Furnished Boom, Wash
ing, Tuition in Latin, Greek, Kngllsh branches aud
Mathematics, for the scholastic year, $180.
in vacat ions. J2H0.O0.
Tlie Hoarding Department Is at the Institution,
under the supervision of Willam Grler, Ks., by
whom good and substantial board will be fur
nished: and the pupils will be under the strict care
of the Principal. Address
W. II. DILL, A. M. Principal,
or, WILLIAM GlilKK,
4 It (New Uloomlleld, Perry comity, Pa.
THE AMERICAN WASHER!
PRICE, $5.50!
TIIE AMERICAN WAHHER SAVES MONEY,
TIME, AND DKUDGE11Y.
The Fatigue of Washing Day no Longer Dread
ed, but Economy, Elllcicncy, aud Clean Cloth,
lug, Sure.
In calling public attention to this little machine,
a few of 1 1 io invaluable qualities, (not msscsscd
by any other washing machine yet invented,) are
here enumerated.
It is the smallest, most compact, most portable,
most simple In construction, most easily oerated.
A child ten years old, witli a few hours' practice,
can thoroughly comprehend and effectually use It.
There is no adjusting, no screws to annoy, no de
lay in adapting t It is always ready for use I It
Is a perfect little wonder I It is a miniature giant,
doing more work and of better quality, than the
most elaborate and costly. One half of the labor
Is fully saved by Its use, and the clothes will last
one-half longer than by the old plan of the rub
lioard. It will wash the largest blanket, or three
shirts at a time, washing thoroughly! In a word,
the ablution of any fabric, from a Quilt to a Lace
Curtain or Cambric Handkerchief, are equally
In the capacity of this LITTLE GEM I It can be
fastened to any tub and taken oft at will.
No matter now deep rooted a prejudice may
exist against Washing Machines, the moment this
little machine is seen to perform Its wonders, all
doubts of itscleaning etllcucy and utility are ban
ished, and the doubter and detractor at once be
come the fast friends of the machine.
We have testimonials without end, setting forth
its numerous advantages over all others, aud from
hundreds who have thrown aside tlio unwieldy,
useless machines, which have signally failed to
accomplish the object promised lu prominent and
loud sounding advertisements.
It Is as perfect for washing as a wringer Is for
wringing. The price, another paramount Induce
ment to purchasers, has been placed so low that
It is within the reach of every housekeeper, and
there Is no article of domestic economy that will
repay the small investment so soon.
&
5 O .
All that Is asked for this GREAT LABOR
SAVKlt, Is a fair trial. We guarantee each ma
chine to do its work perfectly.
Bole Aoents fob tub United States, .
A. II, FKANCISCU8 & CO.,
513 MARKET ST., PHILADELPHIHA, TA.
The largest and cheapest WOODEN WAKE
HOUHK in the United States. 6 35 13, c.
Photographs !
Photographs !
- JACOB COBLE,
Photographic Artist
. NEWPORT, PENN'A.
THE subscriber would respectfully call the at
tention of the eitlzen of this county to the
fact that he Is prepared to take PHOTOGRAPHS
in tne tiesi style oi me arc ills long experience
enauies nun io prouuee
pictures wmcrr cannot bb ex.
CELLED.
All persons are requested to call at his rooms and
examine specimens.
Particular attention given to copying likenesses
of deceased persons, and great care will be 'taken
; to furnish
Good Pictures of Children.
Framing material and a good assortment of frames
always on hand, and for sale at low prices.
JACOB COBLE, Artist,
Newport, Perry Co., Pa
IV33W HTOIWE !
CHEAP GOODS!
T
HE subscriber having opened a new Store, one
door Kant of Hweuer'a Hotel, solicits a share
of the public patronage, lie baa just received a
lull supply oi
Now O- O O (1 H ,
and will constantly keep on hand, a complete as
sortment oi
DRYQOODS,
QUEBK8WARB
BOOTS it 8JI0KS,
GROCERIES
HARDWARE,
HATS CAPS.
And Everything else usually kept In Storm
Cull and see my stock.
KOB'T. N. WILLIS,
New Bloomfleld, Pa.
UTOTICKTOINVALII) PKNHION KIIS,
jyt Thousands of Soldiers who are now drawing
Invalid Pensions are entitled to Increase. All Pen
sioners who Iwlluve their Pensions too mall, can
now nave them Increased by making application
i libnin roi l Ml,
Claim Agent,
. Mew llloomfleld, Ta.
6 ST 6t
Bfc ...
A GREAT MEDICAL DISCOVERY
Dr. WALKER'S CALIFORNIA
VINEGAR BITTEES
Hundreds of Thousands ? Jf
Bear testimony to their Wonder
if!
iui curative n.uecia.
WHAT ARE THEY?
THEY ARE NOT A VILE 2 I
FANCY DRINK, Pf
Wade or Poor Itnrn, W'hUkcr, Prowf Hplrlto
outl lie In no Llouun doctored, spiced nr.di.vcct
ened to pieaflotbo ttuto, cc.llcdMTonlc,"MApptt:
crc," ItcitorcrB,' o., thct Iced tlio tippler ta to
drunkenness and ruin, bat aro a truo Medicine, vr.zCa
from tlio Native Itootannd llcrfciof California, I'rro
I'rnm nil Alcoholic Htlinulnnts TUoycio t.;a
GREAT BI.OOI FURIFIEK. and A
GIV1NU l'UINCIPLK a perfect Kcnovatcr r.:.i
Invlgorator of tho BybUm, carrying oil all io.3orn::a
matter and rcstorlnif tho blood to a hcuUl;y ccr.t.ttxiL
Xo person cantaiio time Bitters according toe.ixo
tlon and remain long unwell.
will bo given for on Incurable c.uo,rr..v.uid
tlio bones aro not destroyed by mlaer..! i ...c;i cr
other means, and tho vital organs wtuud be;o..u U.o
point of repair.
Fnr InflnmtiMilory ami Chronic lMicunm-
tiffin nud liont, Dyspcpnln or Indiseitloiit
IililouMt Jtrmlttont and hilcruilttcut Vovcia
DtscnMco of tbo Itloodf Uvcr, Kldncya, nnd
liliulUcv, Uiceo Hitters bavo been most finccds
ful. Htieh Bin cone a ars cavEcd Ij Yltinicd
Dlood which la generally produced by deraDucoet
of the liirtvo OfcnuM.
acho, Tain In tlio BhouU ers, Cotighs, Tlghtncta cf tho
Chest, DlzzlnoB, Bonr Eructallocs cf tho Etoniach,
Sad tosto In tha Mouth, Bilioun Attacks, ralpltaticn
of tho Heart, Inflammation of the Lungs, Pain In tha
regions of the Kidneys, and a hundred otocr pwul
symptoms, are the ofisprlngsof DyEpcpeio.
They Invigorate tko Stomach and Btimulato tno tor
pld liver and bowels, which render them of unequalled
efflcacy In eloanslnp; tne blood of all Impurities, and
Imparting new life and vigor to tho vrtiolo Bjutcm.
VOll Kit IN l)IEAUE8,Ki-uptlcus,Tcltcr,8alt
Khcum, V.otcheB, trots, I'linplcfl, 1 u&tulce, Bolls, Ccr
bonclco, King-Worms, Cctld-lIcad.iJoro Cycs, Erysip
elas, Itch, fccorft, I)UeoloiT.t!or.s of tho Skin, Humors
and DtocnacB of the bkln, of whatovcr nemo or naturo,
aro literally lug cp andcunkd out of thacyBtcmlna
Short timo ky tho use of these titters. One botflo In
each casoe will convince tho uout Incredulous oi their
curative effect .
Clccnso tho ttiutcd Blood whoncver you find Its
Impurltlca barntlr-fi through tho sUln In rim pics, Erup
tions or hctw ; ctcanoo U when you find It obstructed
and flustsh l.i tlio veins ; clenuna It when it lu foul.
and your fujliuj'jB will tall yuu wlion. Kuap tho blood
pure and tho health ti the tyuttm will follow.
FIX. 'Al'liar.ea'.icr VO;i3lr, lurking In tha
system of so ti.wiy Gwusnuds. t.ro ctTwtacally destroy
ed and rur.iovd. ) or lull dlromluns, rood caivfully
tho circuUr ni'cc.id t:vcli Lt:h--t prl.itcd lit tour l&u-
guoges Ktiglihn .i.urnittit, l-'riucli i4U bpouifalu ,
J.WALHEIt, rro;rictur. Ii. II. McDOX ALD Zi CO
Druggists and (Ion. Agents, t an Vranchcn, v-. .
and 83 and 81 Commerce btruet, row Tor!..
rjTB0LD BT all di:uqq:sts AND L;:.'..Er.9.
1780 TAKE NOTICE. ; 1871
Are You Afflicted or Sick ?
M
PAHRNEY'S
BLOOD CLEANSER
OR
3? A. N A C K A. t
B
S
AN Alterative and Cathartic, or Tonic and
Purge, for diseases arising from bad blood.
This preparation was established In 1870,and
has been prepared In liquid form for more than
It) years. In January or February, 1 870, anoth
er party commenced to prepare n similar article
wtiicli Is Interior to tlie genuine, and wmcn
should not be mistaken for ours. Ask for "Dr.
Fihunbt's Blood Clianseb os Panacea,"
and accept no others. t
The Trade Mark or the oldest and genuine.
is printed in grten on a yellow wrapper, hav
ing also the signature oi r. fuurney, bl.u.,
Chicago.
" Dr. P. FahrTuyU Health Mitnmger" gives
the history and ubcs or tne blood cxkanksk,
testimonials, and other Information, sent free
charge. Address
1)R. P. Fauknet's Buothbhs A Co.,
Waynesboro, Franklin County, Fa.
Ask for Dr. Fahrncy's Blood Cleanser and
Ci. KANSK YOUR BLOOD. ,
Sold everywhere and In New Bloomfleld
by F. mobtimeb a, Co., only. o 18
The Pennsylvania
Cattle ' Insurance Company.
Capital and Assets, $150,000.
Incorporated y the Court of Common
rieat of Schuylkill Co., Not. 27, '09.
Incorporated by Legislature May10,1871.
IT has now full power to Insure Buildings,
Merchandise and all kinds of Property
against Fire, Storms or Tempests. Also, to
Insure Horses and Cattle agnlnst Death or
Theft. The rates on Loan or Preferred Policies
are a little higher than anv other com Tin nr
doing business In the county but this class of
policy holders can borrow money any time the
Company can spurs It out of Its supfus assets,
and the money will be loaned in rotation, so
that the first persons procuring loan policies
can be the first to borrow money If they need
it. Only
J91X PKIl C'KNT. 1NTEHKHT
will be charged for money, and loans will be
made at all places thut good agencies can be
established, so that the Company will be a
Home Company wherever it does business. '
The Company will also take risks on the
common cash and mutual plum as cheap as
other reliablo companies.
The Directors meet regularly on the second
Monday ol every month.
JOHN D. HADE8TT, President.
JAMES IT. OKIEK, Secretary.
0ffice,-308 Centre St., Pottsville, Pa.
6 29
TADIEB AND CHILDREN will find a
J splendid assortment of shoes at the one
price store of V. Mortimer fc Co.
If I
till ,
ova
CONSUMPTION.
ITS CURE AND IT8 PREVENTIVE.
Br l. B. SCSZHCI, H. D.
Msnv a hnmsn blnn tins piwswt away fbr whnne
nVntti therwnnoothprrcRion than the npffleetof
known and Inillnr-utHbly iirovn iiipuiim or cur..
TIioim. nefvr and dear to rnmtly ami frlprids are
sleeping- the dreamless slumber Into Wblcb, ba4
they calmly adopted
UK. jomei'M n. soiMrim tmpi.B
TwrATnr.jiT,
and availed themselvea of hifl wonderftilljr effica
cious medtrlnm, they would not have fallen.
Jr, H;lienek hna In his own chho proved' that
wherever Bulllclent vltalllv remains, ftiat vitality,
by his medicine and hin directions fur ttielr tuo, Is
quickened lnU healthftil viKor.
In thifl ntatement there in notlifna: presumptuous.
To the fnflli of the Invalid in ninileno repreotiliillon
that Is not a thousand times nulmtAntlaU'd by living
and vinlhle worka. Th theory of the cure ly r.
Hrhenrk's meillrlnen Is aa nlmple aa It Is unfnlllnir.
Its philosophy requires no arguaieub It Is aulf-aa-anrlnir.
aelf-convlnclng.
The Maa-weed 'I'onlc and Mandrake Pills are the
flrat two weflons with which the citadel of the
malady Is vailed. Two-thlrdA of the canim of con
aiiiuptlon originate In dvHpepHla and a functionally
disordered liver. With thH condition tho bronchial
tubes "aympathlfe" with Die atomacli. Tbev re
Bpfndtnthemnrhlllertctlonoftlie liver. Herethen
romea the ciilinlnatliiK result, and the setting lu,
with all Its distressing -ivmp'om of
(ounrtiafi.
The Mandrake l'llla are composed of one of Na
ture's noblent Klfta the I'odophlllum lvltntinn.
They pofweas all the blood-ecftrchfinr, alterative
properties of calomel, hut, unlike calomel, they
"MtTI ISO ftflUtU BKSllsin."
The work of cure Is now lieKlnninfc. The vitiated
and miicnufl dcMislta In the Itoweln and In the all.
menUiry canal are ejected. The liver, like aclock,
la wound up. It arouacs from Its. torpidity. The
stomach acta rennoimlvely. and the putleut begins
to feel that he is KMtthiK-, at lust.
A nrrri.Y r aioon m.onn.
The Hea-weed 'Poole, In pouJiiiH-tion with the Tills,
permeates and aaslmllaten with the food. Chyllll.
cation la now proim-satiur without Itnj previous tor.
turea. Dlgealion biK'omea iuliil, anl thecure Is
seen to be at hand. There hi no more flatulence, no
exncerhnllon of the stomach, A n appetite aeta In.
Now comas the frrcateat HhMHl rurllier ever yet
Riven hy an Indulgent fl.ther to nuM'crlng nian.
Hchenok's l'tllutfuilc Hyrup comet, in to perform Us
functions and to haaten and complete the cure, ll
enters at onca upon Its work. Nature can not be
cheated. It collects and ripens the Impaired and
diseased portions of tha lungs. In the form of
fathering, 11 prepares them lor pxictnratlnu. and
ol In a very abort lima the malady la vanrpiiRhed.
the rotten throne that It occupied la renovated and
made new, and the tiatlent, lu nil the dignity of re
gained vigor, ateps forth to enjoy the luauliood or
wooiauhuod that win
ITKSI HI AH I.ONT.
The sarond thing Is, tha putlaaita must star In a
warm room until they get well; It la almost impos
sible to prevent takingculd when tha lungs are dis
posed, hut It must la prevented nr a cure can not he
ellt'cted. Fresh air and rldingont. especially In this
sci-llon of the country, In the lull and winter Ben
son, are all wrong, riivsiclans who recommend
that course lose (heir putlent, if their lungs arn
badly diaanaed i and yet, because they are in the
bouse they must not sit down quiet; they must walk
about the room aa much ami as fast aa the strength
will beur.to (,'t up a Ktd clrculntlonofblood. The
patlenta must keep In good spirits be determined
to get well. Tills hna a grant deal to do wltli the
appetite, and I the great point tognln.
To despair of cure alter surli evidence nf lis pos
sibility lu the worst cii-ses. and mitral certainly In
all others, is sinful. I)r. Hchent-k's personal state
ment to the Faculty of Ills owu cure was in tbto
modest words:
" II any years njtro I wna In the last stages of con
sumption; confined to niy bed, and at one time my
physicians thnughtthat I could not llveaweek: then,
like a drnwnitnr man CHtchlnir at straws I henrrf tf
and ohtnlned the preparations which I now offer to
the public, and they made a ierfeet cure or me. It
seemed to me that I could feel them penetrate my
whole system. They soon ripened tlie matter In my
lungs, and 1 would aplt up more than a pint of offen
sive yellow matter every morning for a long time.
"As soon aa that began to sulislde, my cough,
fever, pulna, and night-sweats all began to leave me,
and mv appetite I iimo so great that It was with
difficulty that I could keep from euting too much.
I mm gained my strength, and have grown lu flesh
ever since.
" I was weighed shortly after my recovery," added
the Doctor, "then looking like a mere skeleton; my
weight was only nlnety-aoven pounds; my present
weight iatwo hundred and twenty-five (22.1) iwunds,
and for years I have enjoyed uninterrupted health.'1
Ir. Hchenck haa discontinued his professional
vit-lta to JNew York and Boston, lie or his son, lr,
J. II. Hchenck, Jr., still continue to see patients at
their Olllee, No. 15 North Mlith Street, Philadelphia,
every Saturday from 9 a.m. to s p.m. Those who
wish a thorough examination with the Iteaplro-meterwlllbecbarged-f.'i.
The Kesplrometer declares
the exact condition of the lungs, and patients can
rendlly learn whether they are curable or not.
The directions for taking the medlciiioa are adapt
ed to the intelligence even of a child. Follow these
directions, and kind Nature will do the rest, except
ing that in some cases the Mandrake Pills are to be
taken in Increased doses; the three medicines need
no other accompaniments than the ample Instruc
tions that accompany them t First create appetite.
Of returning health, hunger Is tho most welcome
symptom. When It comes, as It will come, let the
despairing at once be of good cheer. Good blood at
once follows, tlie cough loosens, the night-sweat Is
abated. Ins short time both of these morbid symp
toms are gone forever.
Dr. Mchenck's medicines are constantly kept In
tens of thousands of families. As a laxative or pur
gative, the Mandrake Pills are a standard prepara
tion; while the Pulmonic Hyrup, as a cure of coughs
and colds, may be regarded as a prophylacutrto
avalnst consumption lu any of Its forms.
Price of the Pulmonic Byrup and Hea-weed Tonic,
Jl.via bottle, or $7.w a half dozen. Mandrake Pills,
ti cents a box. For sale by all druggists and dealers.
ar Iniiuon. lt,i rowiv Mr f'nivtivw Air) A eri
Street, riilladelplila, W liolcsale Agents. 6 23 ly
NEW YORK
CONTINENTAL
Life Insurance Company,
OP NEW YORK,
STltlCTLY MUTUAL t
AMMotM, M,f00,000 !
TrSSI'EH all the new forms of Policies, and pre.
X senta as favorable terms as any company In the
United Mutes.
The Company will make temporary loans on its
touch's.
Thirty davs' grace allowed on each payment, and
the Kilicv held good (luring that time.
Policies Issued by this Company are Uou-forfelt-ure.
Kn axtra ehartrea ara made fnr travellnir permits.
Policy holders allure In the annual protits ol the
Company, and have a voice lu the elections aud
management of the Company.
ho policy or medical fee charged.
Justus Lawhknck. 1'res't.
M. it. 'Wynkooi', Vice 1'res't
J.F.ltooEus.Sec'y.
Ueueral Agent,
No. North Third Street,
t2U yl (Jolk'ue lllock, Ilarrlsburg, Pa.
ASPT,TCNlIpv A HSOHTMKXrn
Of
D
UY.OOODCJ
Suited to the Season,
Are Now Offered for Bale by
- F. HOETIMEB, & CO.
ALL KINDS OF JOB PRINTING
Neatly executed at tlie UlouuiBeld Times
Sltsain Job Ooloe. .
English Roofing Felt
Is fonnd to stand well In all climates, being ex
tensively used for Hooting Houses, Out-Bitlld-ings
and Sheds; for Laying Flat Koofs, Gutters,
Lining Urnnarics, storehouses, or Walls,
(oithor outside or inside), and for placing tin
dor Slates or Tiles. It Is also a cheap and
effective Celling on tho undcrneuth side of raf
ters of a Slated or Tiled Koof, nnd as a Colling
to Iron Koofs, counteracting Heat, Frott, and
Condensation of Moisture.
The English Felt Is put no In rolls of 25
yards In length, by 83 Inches In width, and
containing a surface of 200 square feet.
THREE-PLY FELT FOR ROOFING.
In Rolls, 20 Inches wide, by 50 feet In lengtht
ench roll will cover a surface 10 fect square, or
100 square fect.
It Is to be laid across the roof, shingle fash
Ion, with a lnp of two Inches, and secured by
nailing the edges with 3d nails nnd tin caps.
When laid, tl.c Felt is to be painted with
Mantle Roof Coating, and Sanded. Tho Mas
tic Koof Contlng Is mixed, ready for nso, and
is applied wltn a brush.
TARRED ROOFING FELT.
Used extensively for Sheathing Houses, and for
Tar and Gravel Roollng, also for placing under
Blntc, Tin and Shlnglo Kocflng.
It Is used In packing Woolens and Furs to
protect them from moths.
ful up in roils wcignmg 45 ponttas encn.
IS pounds Felt will cover a surface of 100
square fect.
TWO -FLY FELT,
For 8hca thing Houses, Roofing Temporary
Buildings, making Vator,Tight Floors, and for
placing under Slate and Shingles.
In rolls, 21 Inches wide by 60 feet In length.
Each roll will cover a surface of 10 feet square,
or 100 square feet.
t or Sheathing It can be nailed upon the stud
ding, making a perfectly air tight sheathing,
and sure protection from dampness. Rats,
mice, or vermin will not go near it.
MICA CANVAS ROOFING,
In rolls containing 250 square fect. Is to bo
laid across the roof, anil lapped shlnglo funli-
iciii with a lap ol two inches, and secured vy
nailing the edges with 20 07.. tacks.
This is tno only Composition Kooiing Hint
docs not require a finishing coat of paint or
cement.
UNTARRED SHEATHING FELT,
For Carpet Lining, Deadening Floors, and for
putting under Slate, Tin and Shingle Roollng.
fut up In rolls weighing loo pounds.
10 pounds Felt will cover a surface 10 fect
square, or 100 square fect.
MANUFACTURED BY TIIE
PENN ROOFING CO.,
1 05 South 2nd 8trect,
5 33 2(it PHILADELPHIA, PA.
UAliDWAllEl
HA11D WAllEl
rpiIE subscribers have on hand at nil times,
I as complete an assortment of Hurdwuro
as can be found in the county.
NAILS,
HINGES,
LOCKS,
GLASS,
PAINTS & OILS,
and a fine assortment of all styles of
Builders Hardware,
Also,
CARPENTER TOOLS,
TABLE CUTLERY,
COFFEE MILLS,
SPOONS,
SHOVELS,
HOES,
and a full stock of .
Hardware of Every Description,
All of which will be sold at the lowest market
prices. Persons wanting any articlo In this
Hue are requested to call and examineonr stock.
F. MORTIMER & CO.,
New Bloomfisld, Fa.
Tlie Colby Wringer
WITII
Moulton's Patent Rolls.
The Most Perfect!
The Cheapest I
And Beit Wringer in the World
Rolls are pure white Rubber. ' Frame can
never rot, rust or wear out. It takes less
room than any other, is lighter, fastens Itself
to the tub, rnus easier, and Is 1 1115 lTAMlLx
FAVORITE wherever used,
It Is WARRANTED In every cose. We want
good active
LIVE ACENTS
to canvass in every town, to whom good wages
are insured. Full instructions and particulars
given upon application to Colby Bho's & Co.,
608 Broadway, N. Y. 8 'i'i !
Pensions, Bounties, &c.
XirinOWS, Minor Children, Mothers, Fathers,
W &e.,of Kolillers who were killed or died oj
disease contracted In the Hervlce ol the United
btattts, can now make application for Pension.
Also Holdlers who contracted disease or were
wounded, ruptured, or lu any way disabled In the
war ol lad. .. . .
When widows die or re marry, the child or
children under sixteen years ol age ant entitled to
The8ti"ne for nilng claims for additional bounty
bos been extended six mouths.
Particular attention given to old suspended case
In the dlllerent departments at Washington, V. 0
it yuu have, or think you have a claim auuluHt the
(Juveriiineiit, call un or address the uudeislKUed.
No charge lor Information.
, . LEWIS POTT EH,
' Attorney lor Claimants,
,U, 5 . NEW BLOOMFIELD, PA
HUMOROUS.
, . Turkeys on dc Fence.
A story is told of Dick, a darkey, in
Kentucky, who was a notorious thief,
so vicious in this respect that all the
thelts in the neighborhood were charged
to hi in. ' On one occasion Mr. Jones, a
neighbor of Dick's master, called and
said that Dick must be sold out of that
part of tho country, he has stolen all his
(Jones') turkeys. Dick's master could
not think so. Tho two, however, went
into tho Geld where Dick was at work,
and accused him of the theft. ,
" No, I didn't niassa," responded
Dick.
The master persisted.
" Well," at length snid Dick; " I'll
tell you, massa; I didn't steal them
turkeys, but last night I wont across Mr.
Jones' pasture, and saw one of your rails
on de fence, so I brought home tho rail,
and confound it, when I come to look,
dare was nine turkeys on de rail."
Irish Bulls.
It was an Irishman who wanted to find
a place where there was no death, that he
might end his days there.
It was an Irish editor that exclaimed,
when speaking of the wrongs of Ireland,
" Ilcr eup ot misery has been for ages
overflowing, ana is not yet full."
It was an Irish newspaper that said of
Ilobbespierre that " he left no children
behind him except a brother, who was
killed at tho same time."
It was an Irish coroner who, when ask
ed how he accounted for an extraordinary
mortality in L imcrick, replied sadly, "I
cannot tell. There are peoplo dying
this year that never died before."
It was an Irish handbill that announ
ced with boundless liberality, in refer
ence to a great political demonstration in
the rotunda, that " ladies without distinc
tion of sex, would be welcome"
Didn't Understand.
While a boy of fourteen was fishing
for trout in a deep brook, a stout darkey
commenced teasing the lad by throwing
mud at him. Tho boy, although little,
was as "smart as a steel trap," and swing
ing the butt of his fishing-rod around,
Cuffeo found himself in deep water,
struggling, upon which tho boy left him
and ran home. His dirty appearance at
tracted tho attention of his mother, who
who was highly indignant to think her
son had been so treated by a black boy,
and demanded :
" Did you brook the outrage 1"
" No, mother,' replied the youngster,
who didn't exactly understand the word,
" but I brooked tho darned nigger."
Qy An old lady who was not much ac
customed to attend church, finally went
ono Sunday. During prayer time, while
she was on her knees, her old cat which
had followed her unnoticed, came purring
around her when she broke out, " Why,
poosey what you come ter meetin', to ?
Hy-eo 1 1 spoke out iu mcetin' ! Why-ee,
I spoko ogain 1 Why, loddy goddy, I
keep a spoken all the time."
ttaS-This is of a 15th amendment
friend : A gcntloman traveling home
ward from Atlunta, met an old negro on
whoso hat was encircled tho crape of
grief. The gentleman said : " You havo
lost soruo friend, I see I" Yes, massa."
"Was it a near or distant relative?"
" Well, pretty distant, massa 'bout twen
ty miles."
tsST Two California barbers quarreled
and arranged a duel. They were to
walk around a bloek in opposite directions,
and eaoh was to fire at sight of his an
tagonist. They started, and as soon as
the block intervened, each took the
shortest cut for homo, oomplaining that
his adversary didn't como to time .
txF An Irishman noticing a lady pass
down the street, espied kjfo strips depend
ing from under her mantle. Not know
ing that these were styled sashes, and,
were hanging in their right placo, he ex
claimed, " An' faith, ma'am, yer galluses
are loose."
Hay" Do you keep matches?" asked a
wag of a country grocor. " O, yes, all
kimb," was the reply. " Well, I'll take
a trotting match," said the wag. The
grocer immediately handed him a bos of
pills.
tcjr " Can you tell mo how old the
devil is ?" asked an irreverent fellow of
a clergyman. "My friend you must
keep your own family reoord," was the
reply.
Johnson was right. Although men adore
Wisdom In woman, and wlth wisdom cram
her,
There Isn't one In ten but thinks far more
Of his own " grub" than of his ppouso's
; grammar.
Sr"" No man in Kngland thinks of
blacking his own boots," said a self-sufficient
Englishman to Mr. Lincoln " Whose
boots does he black ?" was the quiet re
joinder of tho facetious President.
HSr " Aunt," said a little three year
old girl, one day, " I don't like my aprons
to be starched eo much. So much starch
nest makes the stiffness scratch my bare-'
ness." ,