2 Ijc imc0, Htm Bloomficl JJa. MR. DAWSON'S " PROPOSAL." UY F. PELACY. "T'LL do it t for I never before saw n X lady who pleased mo so much ! If on further acquaintance I continue my good opinion of her I will marry her thut is if she will have tno " Such was the soliloquy of llnbert Daw son, who was a wealthy broker in the city of New York, nnd who was generally looked upon as a con firmed old bachelor, m he had arrived at tho mature ago of forty-eight years, and had never been in love, or had any inclination to marry. Not that ho was opposed to matrimony, but ho had a dread of fortune hunters, and was fearful if any one did consent to marry him, it would bo for his money, as most of his acquaintances knew that he was rich. Our readers must not think from this, however, that Mr. Dawson had no other good qualities to recommend him, for though nearly fifty, he looked much younger, and was what would bo called a fine-looking man, and was really a man of strict integrity and a worthy citizen. The evening previous he had attended a party where ho had been introduced to a young lady named Helen Norton, who was in tho city on a visit to somo of her friends, and had therefore accompanied them to the party. During the evening Mr. Dawson and Miss Norton had been together quite often, and each fecmed well pleased with tho other. The conse quence was that ho had nsked and re ceived permission to call on her and con tinue tho acquaintance so agreeably com menced. II o had been thinking over tho pleas ant evening he had spent, and well knew to whom be was indebted for the most of that pleasure, and had coino to tho con clusion that Miss Norton was the woman ho had been waiting for so many years, f ti order to make sure that if she mar ried him it would not bo for his money, ho had just determined to ask tho friend who had introduced him, to see tho lady and convey to her tho impression that he was a clerk iu a broker's ollice, and though in receipt of a good salary, was entirely dependent on that for his support. Having come to 1 1 is conclusion ho makes the remark with which our story opens. In order to carry out his purpose, he at onco called on his friend, and asked aid, which was readily promised, and in pur suancs of tho promise ho was to call that evening at Mr. Johnson's residence, where Miss Norton was stopping, and during the conversation was to bring in Mr. Dawson's name, and leave tho desired impression. Thus far all was satisfactory, and Daw son waited with considerable impatience for ho had taken a most decided liking to tho lady until ho thought it would do for him to call. As I have previously said, Mr. Dawvdu had arrived at tho mature ago of forty eight years. Now, I have noticed that when a person gets pretty well along in years without having tho measles, the at tack is usually more severe than if it ap- fieared at an earlier period in lifo, and a ove attack appears to work much the same way. Of course I can't tell why this is so, but that fact accounts for the impatience of our friend Dawson. At the time he had concluded that he could, without exhibiting too much im patience, make his call, Mr. Dawson dressed himself with unusual euro, and proceeded to Mr. Johnson's rcsidonce. lie passed a eouplo of hours very agree ably, and was surprised wheu he looked at the watch to find that he had staid so long. Tho only drawback to the pleasure of his visit being the presence of the other ladies, whoui lie wished were in the moon or any other far off locality, rather than in the parlor, where they so persist ently staid. . For several weeks .Mr. Dawson was a frequent visitor at Mr. Johnson's, but for some reason had never yet been able to see Miss Norton except iu tho presence of others, as all the ladies of the house seem ed to think his visits as much for them as for the lady for whom they were really in tended. About this timo Mr. Dawson had been urged to join a gentleman, living in a distant part of the city, in an enterprise which promised a liberal return, provided the required amount of capital was in vested. This subject ho had promised to consider, and having done so, and be ing sutisficd that it would prove a " pav ing investment," had decided to notify his friend of the decision. 1 He accordingly wrote a note to him reading as follows: " I have thought seriously over the mat ter, and have concluded thut we can form a partnership that will be mutually satta factory. I should bo glad to bear C ora you ou the subject, or you can call at my oflioe, wnero we can quieuy taia over mo matter Yonrs respectfully, Hoiikiit Dawson." The evening provious to writing this loiter, m r. Jiawson had again called on his lady-love, but as usual, had no onnor tuuity to speak to her alono. He had beon thinking that he should have to write to her, and aa he closed up his let ter intended for Mr. Christie, had actu ally addressed it to miss Morton, and do posited it without uoticiug tho mistake, in the boi (Containing letters for the of fice. These the office boy bad mailed, so that Miss Norton actually received a "proposal" from Mr. Dawson, although it was unknown to him. As sho read tho lottcr her faco showed both surpriso and pi unsure. Surprise at tho wording of' the letter, while yet sho was pleased, ns sho could look upon it in no other light than a proposal for mar riage, and if tho truth was told, Miss Norton had a high regard for Mr. Daw son and had secretly hoped for such a proposal. A lettor of that kind from any other source would havo met with a dif ferent reception; but from him, knowing that ho was " peculiar," thesingularity of it was overlooked, and afier a long con sideration, she sent him this reply : "Mr. Dawson, Dear Sir Your rather singular letter is at hand, and iu reply, al low mo to say, that I havo no objection to a discussion of tho "partnership" suggest ed, if you feel disposed to call on mo for that purpose. Yours respectfully, IIei.kk Nouton." Tho receipt of this letter was a great surpriso to Mr. Dawson, and it was some timo beforo ho could, in any manner, com prehend it. J'ut at last, after puzzling over it for several hours, the contents of tho letter intended for Mr. Chrystic, flash ed into his mind, and at nncc he knew that by some moans Miss Norton had re ceived that letter. From tho tone of her note, ho folt sure sho considered it a " jiropnxal," as, in fact, she could put no other construction on his letter, and was also confident that she was prepared to givo him a favorablo answer. But what troubled him the most was, that sho must form a singular opinion of him to think ho would make a proposal to the woman ho loved in such terms. A low hours later found Mr. Dawson entering tho parlor of Mr. Johnson's res idence, ami to his great delight no per son was present but Miss Norton. She welcomed him in a cordial manner while ho hastened to explain in regard to the letter, mid tho partnership intended iu that caso to be formed. ' But," said ho, " you can easily seo who was in my thoughts when I directed tho letter, and from tho kindly manner in which you an swered it, I will take tho liberty of pro posing a partnership which shall end only with our lives." That the proposal met her approbation is rendered certain by the fact that n few weeks later Robert Dawson, bachelor, was changed to Hubert Dawson, benecHcb, There is no doubfl but wfcat this paVt- nership proved mutually satisfactory, and that it was a paying investment is readily proved by quite a number of littlo Daw- sons. Elcctrl in c Juke. Some weeks ago, ono of those illegiti mate sons of science, the vagrant electric man, opened out with his dial for testing how niuoh torture his voluntary victims could stand. To stimulate trade, ho kept a standing offer to pay 85 to whomever could stand as much electric fluid as his machine would furnish. One day a boy presented himself and annonnccd that he had come to win that 85. The man handed him the " handles," and started tho machine. Tho boy stood it wonder fully: Tho operator turned the crank faster,' and asked tho boy how it felt Tho boy said it did not feel at all. The man thought that something must be the matter, and commenced an elaborate tightening up of the screws, and then commenced another series of swift revo lutions, which ought to havo produced a current sufficient to kill the boy; still he laughingly assured the fellow that he did not. experience the slightest sensation Out of patiouco, tho man domanded to see his hands aud then the secret was ex plained. The boy belonged to the tele graph office, and had picked up one of tho pieces of insulated wiro now being put up inside tho olhce, and had passed it up ono slecvo of his coat, around his shoul ders', and down the other sleeve, und then uncovered the ends of the wires in each handi Thus armed, he had gone to the electric man : of course, the uncovered ends of the wire, pressed against tho me tallio handles, presented a better medium than the boy's body.and the current simply passed to them and ulong 'tho insulated wiro around the boy's body, without touching him. That " elcotricim" was very mud, and more so as the crowd drawri together thought it a good joke, and tooK tlie boy s part, i I ho. man was so laughed at that he left town. : JsaJ-A gentleman playing at cards ut iiadeu-Jiadun was much annoyed by an inquisitive stranger, who stood beside him and pried into his hand. At last ho took a pinch of snuff aud administered it to his tormentor, immediately sayiug, ' 1 beg your pardon, but you were so near me sir, that I mistook your uose for mine." , lay It is said that the following words actually formed the peroratiou of the counsel's plea for his clieut iu an assault and battery case in Athens, Alabama : " Let the humble ass crop the thistle of the valley ; hot the sagacious gout browse upon tho mountain's Crow, but, geullu uicnof the jury, I say John (Juiidlo- is not guilty." ttsff" A coquette is said to be a perfect incarnation of Cupid, because she keeps her beau in a quiver. . - A Reminiscence of General Scolt. ONK evening after our rubber 1 said to tho (icnoral, " There is ono ques tion I havo often wished to ask you, but havo been restrained by the fear that it might bo improper." Tho General drew himself up, and said in his emphatic nian- uor, " bir, you are incupublo ot asking an improper question." 1 said, " You aro very kind ; but if my inquiry . is indis creet I am sure you will allow it to pass unanswered. " 1 hear you, oir, ho re plied. " Well, thou, General, did any thing remarkable happen to you on tho morning of tho battlu of Chippewa?" After a brief but inipressivo silence ho said, " Yes, sir ; something did happen to me somothing very remarkable. I will now for tho third time in my life relate tho story : " Tho 4th day of July, ISlt, was ono ofcxtrcmo heat. Ou that day my bri gade skirmished with a British force com manded by General Kiall frpin an early hour iu the morning till late iu the after noon. We had driven tho enemy down the river somo twelve miles to Street's Creek, near Chippewa, where wo encamp ed for tho night, our army occupying tho west, wlule that of the enemy was en camped ou tho east side of the creek. After our tents had been pitched I observ ed a tla" borne by a man iu peasant's dress, approaching my marque. lie brought a letter from a lady who occupied a large mansion on the opposite side of the creek, informing mo that sho was tho wilb of a member of I'arlimcnt, who was then at Quebec ; that her children, ser vants, and a young lady friend wcro ulonc with her in the house; that Genera! Kiall had placed a sentinel before her door; and that she ventured, with great doubt of tho propriety of tho request, to ask that 1 would place a sentinel upon the bridge to protect her against stragglers from our camp. 1 assured tho messenger that the lady's request should he complied with. Early the next morning tho same mes senger, bearing a white flag, reappeared with a note from tho same lady, thanking mo for tho protection sho had enjoyed, adding that in acknowledgment of my civilities, sho begged that I would, with such members of my staff as 1 choso to bring with me, accept the hospitalities of her house at breakfast, which had bceu prepared with considerable attention, and was quite ready. Acting upon an impulso which I havo uevcr been ablo to analyze or comprehend, I called two of my aids, Lieutenants Worth and AVatts, aud re turned with the messenger to the mansion already indicated Wo met our hostess at tho door, who ushered us into tho din ingroom, whero breakfast awaited us, and where the young lady previously referred to was already seated by the cofleo urn. Our hostess, asking to bo excused for a few minutes, retired, aud tho young lady immediately served our cofleo. Before we had brokcu our fast Lieute ant Watts rose from the table to get his bandana (that being beforo tho days of napkins), which ho had left in his cup on the sido-tublo by the window, glancing through which he saw Indians approach ing the house on one sido, and red coats approaching it on the other, with an evi dent purpose of surrounding it aud us, and instantly exclaimed, " General, we are betruyed !' Springing from the table aud clearing the house, I saw our daugcr, aud remembering Lord Chesterfield' had said, " Whatever it is proper to do, it is proper to do well," and as wo had to run, and niy legs wero longer than those of my companions, I soon outstripped them. As wo made our escape wo wero fired at, but got across tho bridge iu safety. " I felt so much shume and mortifica tion at having so nearly fallen iuto a trap, that I could scarcely fix my miud upou the duties which now demanded my un divided attention.- I knew that I .had committed a great indiscretion iu accept ing that singular invitation, and that if any disaster resulted from it I richly de served to lose both my commission and character. 1 constantly found my solf wondering whether tho ludy really intend ed to betray us,or whether we hud peen uo cidentally observed.' The question would recur even amidst tho excitement of battlu. Fortunately uty prepuce aud services iu the field were nut required until Geucruls Toiler and lliplcy had been euguged at intervals for, several hours; so that when my brigade, with Towson's artillery, were ordered to cros Street's Creek my nerves and coiitidcuce hud become uicusurubly quieted and restored. 1 need uot describe the buttle of Chippewu. Thut belougs to and is a part of the history of our country. It is authcicut to say thut ut the close of the day we were musters of the position, and thut our anus were in no wuy dis credited. The British army had fallen back, leaving their wounded in our pos session. - The iiium-ioii which I had visited in the morning wus the largest house near, and to thut the wounded officers iu both armies were carried ' tor surgieal treat ment. As soou as I could leave the field I went over to look after my wounded. I found tho Kuglish officers lyiug on the first-floor, and our owu ou the floor above. I saw, in the lower room the young ludy whom I bad met in tho morning at the breudfusl-luble, her white drossall sprink led with blood , She 'bad been attending to the British wounded. Oo the second floor, ju6t os I was turning into tho room whore our officers were, I met my hostess. "Ono glance at her was quito sufficient to answer the question which I had boon asking myself all day. Sho had intend ed to betray me, and nothing but the ac cident of my aid rising for his handker chief saved us from capture. " Years afterward, in reflecting upon this incident, I was led to doubt whether I had not misconstrued her startled man ner as I suddenly encountered her- That unexpected meeting would havo occasion ed embarrassment in cither contingency; and it is so difficult to believe a lady of cultivation and refinement capabloof such an act, that I am now, nearly half a cen tury after tho event, disposed to givo my hostess the benefit of that doubt. " And now, Sir," added the General, " this is tho third time in my lifo I have told this story. I do not remember to havo been spoken to before ou the subject for many years." IIo looked at mo, and seemed to bo considering with himself a few moments, and then said: " Remem bering your intimacy with General Worth, I need not inquiro how you camo to a knowledge of our secret." "Well, General," I replied, " 1 have kept tho secret faithfully for more than forty years, always hoping to obtain your own version of what struck mo as a most remarkable incident in your military life." One of Sheridan's Jukes. " Sheridan was fond of practical jokes, one of which he played off upon tho Duke of Devonshire. Sheridan was in tho habit of frequenting Dolly's chop-house, whero ho generally called for deviled shin-bone of beef. Ono day, coming in rather later than usual, he was told that tho only shin-bone in tho larder was being cooked for bis grace tho Duke of Devon shire. Sheridan, who knew tho duke's person, though not acquainted with him. took a seat within ear-shot of him and began a conversation with a friend in a loud tone of voice. ' I always imagin ed," said ho, that Dolly's chop-house was one of the neatest establishments in London, but I made a discovery this morning which has convinced me that I was mistaken. J ho Duko listened to him very attentively. " As I was passing tho kitchen window," continued Sheridan, " I observed a turnspit boy greedily gnaw ing a shin-bone of beef Presently one of tho cooks ran up to him, and giving him a blow on tho neck, compelled him to drop his prizo. " You dirty littlo rascal," said tho cook, " couldn't you find nothing else to oat? Here l'vo got to cook this bouo for the Duko of Devon shire." Soon after tho conclusion of this tale, a waiter entered tho room, and ad vanced to his grace, with a covered dish. " Your bono, sir!" "Tako it away," roar ed tho duke, with a face of great disgust, " 1 can't touch a morsel of it." " Stay, waiter!" said Sheridan, humbly; bring it to me. If his grace can't cut . it, I can. Fetch mo a bottle of claret I don't wish a better luncheon." Marrying In Fun. Or a recent eveninir. ns a social party was gathered on Ida Hill, a young lady and gentleman who were betrothed, thought for the amusement ol the cotu psny, they would go through the mar riage ceremony in fun a sort of rehear sal. A gentleman present agreed to take the part of tho minister, and did so in fine style. Immediately at the conclusion of tho mock murriago a young ludy nudg ed her partner, who was sitting beside her, and said, " Let ns bo married iu fun." " All right," replied tho gont, aud up they stood.. One of the gentlomen happened to be a Justice, und it struck him that ho could make a butter job of it tliau the young man who had just person ated the minister. He accordingly offer ed to marry the couple " iu fun." They acceded, aud lie performed tho entire ceremony, concluding by declaring the couple ' man aud wife. Tho thought that the marriage had been legally per formed, flashed upon tho minds of tho eouplo, and tho Justico very cooly ex plained the mutter, and said thut ho was ready for a fee. Upon tho circumstances nothing could bo dono but to yield to circumstances, and the newly married couple being willing, they adopted tho tinulity of the tun, and invited all bunds round to a" reception." May they never have occasion to repent.: : How to get a , Dinner. AGKXTLHMAX. who had traveled about pretty extensively was great ly perplexed to understand how it was that other persons wero waited upon promptly and well served at the hotels, while ho was almost entirely ignored, and could scarcely obtain a square meal, com plain to and swear at tho' waiters as ho might. At hist his eyes were ojiened to the dodge of feeing tho waiters liberally, and being of ingenious turn id' miud, ho determined to Improve on the plan. The next hotel he dined at, be took his seat very pompously at the table, and took out a well filled pocket-book, extract ed therefrom a ten dollar bill, which he laid on tho whito cloth beside his plate, and placed his goblet upon it. In an in stant almost ho was surrounded by wait ers, who seemed to vie with each other in attention. Every wish was anticipated, and all the delicacies of the kitchen und pantry wero placed beforo him in tempt ing array. Having fared as sumptuously as a prince to the envy of many of tho guests ho took up tho greenback, and beckoning to tho nearest waiter, was immediately besieged by a half a dozen or so. Hold ing tho bill in one hand, ho poiuted to it with tho other, and inquired of the crowd : " Do you seo that bill ?" " Oh, yes, sir," thoy all excluimod in chornus. "Then tako a good look at it." ho re plied, " for you will never sco it again." Saying which ho departed from the room, leaving tho waiters aghast. 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