Newspaper Page Text
tljc Mies, New JUoomficft, )n.
NOISELESS, LINK MOTION,
Challenges the World in Perfection of Work,
Strength and Beauty of Stitch, Durability of Con
struction and Kapldlty of Motion. Call and exam
Ine, and for Agencies and Circular, apply
AT PRINCIPAL OFFICE,
623 Broadway, New York.
$1140 How ? Iniuln ft ln ""'! 'wllli slfmelU.
Samples mailed free. A.J.FuLijiM.N.V.um
A GREAT OFFER.
JV'o. 481 Broadway, Xew York
"ViriM, dispose of One HrNrmr.n runos, Mb
TV ix)Dkon8 and Okoans, ot six first class ma
kers, Including Clnekering & Rons, at kxtiiemki.v
LOW 1'HIC ES FOK CASH, nUKlNO this month, or will
take from 85 to jfco monthly until paid. 4 17 y a
- Oil WORMS IX THE FACE.
A trcnt'so on their Causes, p. ml how to cure
them including the prepared Remedy, will bo
sent f ee by mail for 25 cents, or JJcDcriptive
Pamphlet gratis on receipt of Ftnmp. Address.
M. LAFAYETTE BYRON, M. D.,
Box 4001), P. O., New York.
(Olllco 80 Cedar St.)
in the United Stales Is on Pluck's Sons' Factorv
Kaston, Pa., one third of a mile long, and is cov
CHEAP, IH'HATSU; and easily applied. Send for
circular and samples to die manufacturers.
READY liOOFINU CO..
4 23 1 ya K o. Ct Court land St. New York.
812.50 clear profit per day. 875 per week. 8.100
per month made easy by anv ladv or gentleman
introducing this (ienuine and Original Old Favor
ito. Willi its many new and practical additions,
mak'ng the most complete combination ol valua
ble and useful improvements ever effected in any
one machine. The embodiment of extreme sim
plicity, elliiiienc.y and utility, entile v dillerent In
model and design from any low priced machine.
It is the most serviceable, elegant and reliable
Family Sewing Much. lie ever invented, gives per
fect satisfaction wherever introduced. Has re
ceived Premiums, stood the .test of ten years and
is fulls approved of by every family wiio liave them
in use. Is noiseless, makes the strong and beauti
ful Elastic Lock Stitch, .with wonderful rapidity
and certainty. Sews anything a need.e will no
through, fiom the lincst to the thickest fabric linn
and neat, with ease. Uses all kinds of silk or
thread direct from the spool ; is improved with new
ami self-acting feed, spring tension, self-guidcr,
and uses t lie adjustable straight needle, perpen
dicular nmtl with powerful lever action, pos
sesses i all the good ipialities of the bestliigli-priced
machines condensed, without their complications
or Ian. Is. Samples f sewing sent fiee on receipt
of stamp. For ceililicate, &c, see Descriptive
Pamilhlels, mailed free. A thorough practical
sewing machine for family use. Tritium. A very
strong.rcliable machine, at a low price. Standard.
1u beautilul sewing machine is one of the most
ingenious pieces ol mechanism ever Invented.
7'iocA'Mia. Worth many times its cost to any
family. iv. y. Weekly. It is quite a new machine
Willi its many late improvements, and sews with
astonishing ease, rapidity and neatness. Itppuh.
Iwan, N" . Single machines, as samples selected
Willi care, for family use, with every tiling com
plete, sent to any part of the eountry per express,
packed in strong wooden box, fiee, on receipt of
iu ice, SoOO. Sale delivery of goods goal autecd.
oi ward cash by registered letter, or P. O. money
order, at our risk. Agents wanted, male or female
everywhere. New pampelets containing extra
libcutl inducements, sent free.
Addiess Fain, ly Sewing Machine Co., Olllce 86
.Has :au Street, New York.
JAMES 33. CL-A-RK,
MANCFACTUKEH AND DEALEIt IN
Stoves, Tin and Slicet Iron Ware
New Blooiuflcld, Perry co., JPu.,
KEEPS constantly on hand every article usually
kept in a first-class establishment.
All the latest styles and most improved
I'arloraiKl Kitchen Stoves,
TO BURN EITHER COAL OR WOOD!
Spouting and Roofing put up in the most
durable manner and at reasonable prices. Call
and examine his stock. 3 1
Use Dr. Frederick's
Jjightnlng lie lief,
THE MEDICAL WONDER !
Cures all Pains and Aches In from 1 to 10 Minutes.
d.!,y ;'VBKists a,11 Country Store Keep.
ersandF.MOUT AiIilt & CO., New llloonilieid
Pa Jt L. SINGER & CO.. Wholesale Agents
Mewport. Perry County, Pa!
A'lUCK 00 CiSTiJ 1'EIt
I IN 1887.
BUCKEYE BELL FOUNDRY t
I1URCH. Academy, Factory. Farm. Fire.
Alarm Hells, &c, &u., made of
TUBE BELL METAL,
Coppor and Tin.) warranted In quality, tone, du
rability, &.C., and mounted with our Patent. IM
PROVED ROTATING. JIANOINOS. Illustrated
Catalogues scut Free.
VAND UZEK C TIFT,
Nos. 102 and 104 E. 2nd St.,
OTICE TO LAND OWNERSI
After the 12th day of August of this year, (1870)
suits will be liable to be brought in the Court of
Dauphiu County for money Uutr on lands In Perry
For Information relative to the Patenting ot
lauds, call on or address
, S. H. ALUItAlTH.
, , Attorncy-at-Law &County Hurireyor.
Bloomfleld, March , 1870. tf.
" GIVE HZMA CHANCE."
Poor soul I he Is down at tlio foot of the bi'l,
And dcspr.l: inar, we scent a elance t
Beset with temptation, Bur.'oundcd by sin
ion t spurn mm i oust give ntra a cnancc.
We e you in his place, and tempted r.3 lie,
Yqu might be as bad even worse (
Then give him your hand, and a blessing be
Instead of a kick o. a curse I
So hunted, so branded, by merciless man,
No wonder he eyes you askance I
No wonder he taluks you are like all the rest,
Be merciful I Give him a chance I
He is "somebody's ton j" iu childhood, per
haps, He shared u fond mother's caress
On, give him n lift, a kind cheerful word,
You siiicly cr.n do nothing less I
To exercise charily, Chrirt-like, to him.
Will only your pleasure enchnuee ;
Tlicu as you hope for mercy Horn Heaven
Have mercy, and give hima ehence!
Tlio Midnight Supper.
AM All III ED woman became nn ex
emplary Christian, but her husband
was a lover of sinful pleasure. When
spending an evening, ns usual, with his
jovial companions, at a tavern the conver
sation happened to turn on the excellen
cies and faults of their wives; the hus
band just mentioned pronounced the
highest encomiums on his wife, saying
she was ull that was excellent, only she
was a Methodist. "Notwithstanding
which," said lie, "such is the command
which she has of her temper that were
I to take you, gentlemen, homo with me
at midnight, and order her to riso and
get you a supper, she would be all sub
mission and cheerfulness."
The company regarded this merely as
a vain boast, and dared him to make the
experiment by a considerable wager.
The bargain was made, and about mid
night the company adjourned, its proposed.
Being admitted, " Where is is your mis
tress : said the husband to the maid
servant who sat up for him.
" She is gone to hod. sir."
" Call her up," said he. " Tell her 1
have brought some friends with me, and
that 1 desire she would get up and prepare
them a supper."
The good woman obeyed the unreason
able summons ; dressed, came down re
ceived the guests with perfect civility,
and told them she happened to have some
chickens ready cooked, unci that supper
should be got us soon as possible. It was
accordingly served up. when she perform
ed the honors offhe table with as much
eheerfullness as if she had expected com
pany at the proper season.
After supper, the guests could not re
frain from expressing their astonishment.
One of them particularly, more sober than
the rest, thus addressed himself to the
lady ;'' Madam," said lie, "your civility
fills us with astonishmcut. Our unreason
able visit is the consequence of a wager,
which we have certainly lost. As you
are a very religious person, and cannot
therefore approve of our conduct, give mo
leave to ask, what can possibly induce
you to behave with so much kindness to
" Sir," replied she, " when I married
my husbaud and myself were both un
converted ; it has pleased God to call ine
out of that dangerous condition. My
husband continues in it. I tremblo for
his future state. Were he to die as ho
is, he must be miserable forever; I think
it, therefore, my duty to do all I can to
make him as happy as possible iu this
This wise and faithful reply affected the
wholo company. It left a deep impres
sion on the husband's mind. " Do you
my dear." said he, " really think I should
he eternally miserable? I thank you
for the warning. By tho grace of God
I will change my conduct." From that
time he became another man, a serious
Christian, and consequently a good hus
Layfayetto, the friend and ally of
Washington, was in his youth confined
iu a French dungeon, in the door of his
cell there, was cut a small hole just big
euough for a man's eyej at that hole a
sentinel was placed, whose duty it was to
watch moment by moment till lie was re
lieved by the change of guard. All he
could see was tho winking, but the eye
was always there ; look when he would it
met his gaze. In his dreams he was
conscious it was staring ot him. "Oh,"
he says, " it was horrible; there was no
escape; when ho lay down and when lie
rose up, when he ate, and wiieu he read
that eye searched him." So God's eyo is
upon each of us, from the very first breath
that we draw to the very last. '
The Trials of Courtship.
TI1WO friends we'll call them Tom
JL and Dick went a few nights since
to call on a counle of damsels wlm rpsMo
with their mother in the southern part of
Erie city. The old lady is slightly deaf
and the girls somewhat roguish. The
two gentlemen were graciously received
by tho old lady who formed a fifth in the
social circle. Ordinary bedtime came
and the gentleman professed to leave,
the maids showing them to tho door.
But this was only a ruse to get tho old
lady to bed. The front door was opened
and shut, and the girls returned to tho
dining-room, the two beaus having been
slipped into tho front parlor and left
there in the dark. It was supposed, of
course, that the slighted deaf old lady
would soon be in the land of Nod, but.
she took a sudden whim to go and sit iu
the parlor for awhile, and taking up a
light, started for that place. Dick and
Tom had been anxious listeners and
watchers, and now saw the old lady ap
proaching with a lamp. As she passed
into the hall, of course their only means
of escape was cut off. Dick made a dive
bchiud a lounge that stood out a few
inches from the wall the framework was
too low for him to crawl under and
Tom, Gliding no other place, wedged
himself in on top of Dick. The old lady
set the lamp on the bureau, took up a book,
and deliberately seating herself on the
lounge, began to read. The feelings of
the two nice young men behind the
lounge may be better imumnnd tlmn do.
scribed. Tom was in dread of imme
diate detection, while Dick dreaded
smothering. He was so frightfully cramped
that he was getting reckless as to conse
quences, and in a muffled voice, that
only the old lady's deafness prevented
uer irom noticing, mumbled to Tom.
' Kick the lou IliiO Over, blow t.lin lniim
out, and let's jump through the window."
As Dick was squirming in a way that
boded o sudden exnnsn for Tom it is
probable that the latter would have taken
nts advice to the letter, but for the in
terposition of the quick-witted girls.
At first, exnectincr tho cat was nut. nf
the bag they had kept back, ready to take
the storm of reproach thev could not,
avoid ; but hcnritur no noise after the old
lady entered, they went to see what had
uecomo ot tlio gallants. Two pair of
oooi s anu a loot or so ol pantaloons were
visible from the door, and tho girls, ma
king some commonplace remarks to their
mother, went away laughing loudly.
"Pliancy tho phelinks" of the chaps be
hiud the lounge. But in a few seconds
there came a shout from the wood shed,
where the girls were, saying their lamp
had blown out, and asking "mother" to
come with hers. The boys hcaid them
plainly, and even smothering Dick stopped
his mutterings and threatening. The
good old lady arose, wiped her specks and
folded thetn away, frftd bidding tho girls
not to be frighteued, went with the lamp
to their aid. It would bo superfluous to
say that tho lounging boys didn't lounge
just there iucli longer. They uulocked
the front door as quietly as they could
and slid out without even bidding the
young ladies good night. It was well
they did for in less than three minutes
the old lady was seated on the lounge
again perusing her book.
None of Your Little Nubbins.
Tho long drouth has reminded a con
temporary of a story told of a Methodist
brother at an Ohio Conference, some
years ago. There was a great drouth,
and the corn crop in particular was suf
fering for rain Father B believed
in prayer, and invoked relief without fur
ther delay. lie prayed for rain, and for
abundant crops, especially of corn, say
" And now, O Lord, give us a big crop
of corn this year. A7one of yir UuU
nubbins now, O Lord, but great big ears,
us long as yer ann ah !"
It rained powerfully that very night.
r As a polite omnibus agout of the
Lexington and Louisville railroad was go
ing through tho ladies' car, checking bag
gage, he asked a pretty young lady if she
had any baggage she wished taken to the
hotels. She replied :
" No sir."
Tho agent then asktd her if she desir
do a 'bus.
She instantly gave him a sweet amilo,
and replied :
"No, I'm not in aJjussing humor this
The agent dropped his memorandum
book, hastily retrei t i to the ' baggage
car, and said ho felt unwell.
How Billy Raised a Muss.
V PHYSICIAN prescribed "country
air and sea-bathing for the delicate
Al rs. Blobbs ; so that tho Bev. B. sent his
afi'ectiouale wife and Billy to long Branch.
The reverend gentleman told little Bill
to write to him as soon as they were set
tled there. Truthful Billy seut the fol
lowing epistle, without bothering his ma
to read it first :
"Deah Daddy: It's awful nico herein
the country, and me and ma aro having
oiiuii juny nines, i ininK tuo nicest place
in the world is a watering place, don't you,
daddy ? At first I felt awful lonesome with
out you, and says to dear ma :
" ' When is pa coining from the city ma I'
"'Xevcr, I hope, Billy,' says she, your
father's such a dry old stick, and wo aro
much better oir without him.'
"Oil, daddy 1 you wouldn't know ma
now if you hadn't seen her before sho's
looking so well and young. She has taken
to wearing sueh lots of hair and fine tilings
and our maid Sally, pays she doesn't look
older than many a gal of seventeen. Ma's
got a real spleiidecl beau too, with such
moustaches and whiskers I Ma calls him
Charley. I call him a brick becauso ho
gives mo such heaps of candy. Bally says
lio's the bcautifulest gentleman sho ever
"Tho waiter fellows hero are bully boys,
pap, and I get no end of slalo tarts, pio
and pound cako, besides bottled ale and
tobacco. They arc teaching mo to play
euchre, too, and I think it's real nice game-.
Ma has no time to look after me ; she's so
taken up with dressing, dancing, and dear
" Oh, pa 1 1 want to see yon awful bad,
but don't come yet ; it would make ma so
hopping mad. I'leaso write soon' and don't
forget to send mo plenty of pocket money.
A fellow can't do without tin' here.
Your alleclioiiate son.
Billy's letter was accompanied by one
from Mrs. Bluljbs, which read " thusly j"
'My DAttr;8T Husband: My health is
a little beli or, thank the Lord, and I be-in
to enjoy tlio Sabbath like peaco of this
place. I miss you very much, and my
thoughts are often with you; but, for the
sake of your flock, I will not ask you join
me at present. Dcnr lii tlo Billy and tho
Bible are my usual companions, though
when I seek it, I find a good deal of religious
society here. Arc you lonely without me,
dear husband? I hope not, for the fresh
invigorating air here is doing me more good
than medicine, and if I could remain until
September, I believe I might be restored to
my former health and strength. " Give
my fondest love .to tho dear sisters of our
church, and tell them I remember them
all iu my prayers. I read your soul-stirring
sermon in Monday's Inquirer. It tilled my
heart with peaco and comfort.
" Willi love and many kisses, I bid you
adieu. Will write soon again. Our Billy
sends a note, which vnn vi lli nmini. ...in.
this. Your loving wife,
Mr. Blobbs, in a state more easily im
agined than described, left for long
Branch immediately after reading the
above epistle. .How Mrs. Blobbs received
her indignant lord and master, wo don't
know, but he brought her back to Goth
am. Last Sunday she sat iu her old pew
ut church, looking very meek and sorrow
lul. Mr. Blobbs, preached a very elo
quent sermon taking for his text the
" Who can Cud a virtuous woman ? For
her price is far above rubies." New
A Curious Question.
A corrcspoudeut inquires : " Supposo a
man aud a girl were to get married : the
man is thirty-five years old, and the girl
five years : this makes the man seven
times as old as the girl ; and they live
together until the girl is ten years old;
this makes the man forty years old, and
four times as old as the girl : and they
still live until she is fifteen, the man
would bo forty-five, and this makes him
three times as old ; and they still live un
til sho is fifteen, tho man would be forty
five, and this makes him three times as
old ; and they still live on till tho man is
twico as old, and so on. Now, how long
would they have to lire to make tho girl
as old as the man, at tho same rate of
Waf Whon J udge Howell was at the
bar, Mr. Burgess, a barrister on a suit,
to play a joke, wrote on tho lining of his
hat, " Caput Vuruum," (empty head.)
The hat circulated about, exciting a
smilo on every countenance except that
of tho owner, who deliberately took it
up aud repeated tho words, and well
knowing tho author, addressed the Chief
J ustiec as follows ; " May it plcaso your
lordship, I ask protection," holding up
his hat;" for I find that Brother Burgess
has written his name iu my ' hat, and I
have reasons " to bcliovo ha intends to
make off with it."
' Jftajr Sometimes I read a book with
pleasure, and detoit the author.
A Carious Incident.
WIIO can say, after read'.ng this lit
tle story, that truth is not nearly
as strange as fiction :
A young man a mechanic by trade,
passed tho evening in Brooklyn, about
six weeks ago, and was returning to New
York on the ferry boat at twelve ; ninety
nine out of every one hundred persons
always rush directly through a boat to
the end nearest their destination, but this
youth remained on the after part till it
touched the dock, when he passed through
tho ladies' sitting-room and observed on
a scat a lady's satchel and umbrella
Every one was hastening off the boat;
there were but three or four ladies in tho
wholo party, so the young man seized the
satchel and umbrella and hurried after
the receding passengers. Holding both
articles alol't, he hurriedly , questioned
several people. To none of those be
longed the property he had taken posses
After waiting about the ferry house
somo time he took the captured articles
home. Of course he expected that they
would bo speedily advertised, for tho
satchel, which was locked, and tho urn
brella, were well worth some reward. But
day after day passed no advertisement
appeared and ho procured a' key and
opened a little bag, which contained
$1000 in government bonds, (unregister
ed), a portcmonnaie holding $100 in cur
rency, a splendid gold watch and chain,
containing an elderly man's portrait, a
locket, a slip of paper, and having thereon
iu a female hand written these words : " I
have waited and waited; you do uot como
aud I have ceased to hope. E. P." Upon
a marginal piece of some foreign newspa
per was tho nauio of a hotel in New York
that does not exist. Tho young man
consulted headquarters, and he went
daily to the Morgue for some female to
come ashore, but now two months have
goue by; and no trace of tho owner has
It is only by one of three suppositions
this mysterious satehel can be accounted
fur. Either murder, suicide, or sudden
insanity has overtaken the unfortunate
owner. In the meantime the custodian
of tho unexpected fortune is half out of
his wits with the embarrassment that be
sets his position.
A countryman at the theatre the other
night, as the escort of some ladies, retired
at an intermission and returned with a.
pound or two of peanuts wrapped in a
paper, and two huge bananas sticking
from his pocket. Just, then, however,
and before he had time to tako his scat,
one of tho actresses who had won his ad
miration, came to the footlights and
warbled a beautiful melody. Tho full,
rich voice, exquisite intonation and
breathing strains almost divine, capti
vated the countrymau's heart, and unable
to restrain his delight, ho heaved on
the stage his peanuts, banauasarid pocket
handkerchief as a tributo to tho fair en
chantress. There was a momentary as
tonishment visiblo on the face on the
stage, a single interval of hesitation,
which was removed by the countryman's
voice full and clear, " Take 'cm, gal, by
jingo; you're welcome."
t&" At Bccse river, California, a mild
looking, rather old man was holding
forth on the necessity of orthodox relig
ious belief founded on the Bible, in the
course of which he condetned the foolish
superstitions of a certain religious body.
Me spoke of a tradition that existed in
Switzerland, and which was devoutly be
lieved by the simple people, of church
es being built in a night by angels, which
ho said appeared too absurb for human
belief. As he finished a tall, dust-covered
bushwhacker, who had listened to him
attentively, took of his battered hat and
flnng it on tho ground, and asked in a
thundering yoico : "You don't believe
in tho story of angels building churches,
don't you? Waal, now, what do you
think of that yarn of Master Samson's
sloshing about tho country upsettin'
nicetin houses ?"
IQr" Two gentleman, of opposite poli
tics, meeting, oue inquired the address
of some political celebrity, when the other
"lam proud to say, sir that I am
wholly ignorant of it."
" O ! you aro proud of your ignoranc
eh, sir ?"
"Yes I am," replied the belligerent
gentleman, "and what then sir?" ' "'
" 0 1 nothing, sir, nothing; only you
have a great deal to bo proud of. that's