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WHAT A DETECTIVE DID.
TN 1856, on a cold, raw day iu Decern
JL ber, a boy came to my room with a
dispatch from the general office. At the
time I was half dozing, half reading on
a sofa, thinking how much better off I
was in that neat, quiet, well-warmed room
than thousands who wcra out in storm,
their faces pelted by the pitiless snow
and sleet.
It was my seventh month on tho detec
tive forco.
During that time I had ridden and
walked from one end of Broadway to the
other, and run my head into more queer
out of tho way places than I care to
again.
A detective has not so easy a life after
all. Once a revolver bullet aimed at me
in a stolen-goods cellar where I was look
ing around for a marked chap, took away
the lower edge of my left car. I heard
ringing that time, sure, but the skulk
who fired the shot had a more musical
time, for ho went to Sing Sing, after
being led to the Toombs with his right
shoulder shattered by a return ball.
One time just as I had arrested a
woman on Twenty-third street for liftiug
a valuable diamond cluster from a Broad
way jewelry store as I was escorting her
out of tho house for a visit to tho station
a red haired vixen met us iu the door
way and threw a full ounce of cayenne
pepper in my eyes. It was what you
might call red-hot.
I never saw my diamond-lifter or her
timely friend again nor did I see any
body except a physician for a month.
But this, and all such, has nothing to
do with the recital to night.
I told the boy to come in. It was
Bob, the sharp, kcen-cyed " boy to all
places," who as sent in a hurry on all
special errands, with instructions to find
his man. Ho handed me the dispatch,
and I read :
4 P. M.
Come quickly. Important counterfeit
ing case. Out of town be prepared.
, Chief.
I was awake in an instant nothing like
business to call a man's head back to
him !
Bob helped roc, and I threw on a box
overcoat, pulled on a pair of stage boots
dropped a six inch Colt into my hip-pocket,
settled a slouch hat over my head,
and out we went.
A little ways to the street corner, then
a cold ride, and wo were at the offico of
tho Chief.
" Found him, sir," said Bob, as he
kicked the lumps of snow from his boot
heels, and stood ready fur another or
der. " You may tro now, but listen for the
bell."
" All right sir."
And Bob glided out as the Chief order
ed. He turned tome, and continued.
" Well. Mack, aro you ready for a job
to-night '("
' Always ready. What's tho lay?"
" Somebody has been shoving the queer
to-day right lively. Two hundred at tho
Astor House; ninety at a Bowery ex
change office for gold; live hundred for
largo bills with n railroad agent on Broad
way, and a hundred bogus at a book
store for three books and a good change."
" What book store ?"
" Applcton's. And a hundred nt a
diamond storo up town for a fifty dollar
ring, and good change."
"What is tho clew?"
" I've told you all I know except this
dispatch from Albany, from tho Mayor,
just received as I scut for you."
The dispatch was as follows :
Somebody has begun flooding us with
a new counterfeit on threo banks. Ilavo
you seen anything new of this kind in
New York, and if so on what banks '(
"And this is all?"
" Yes, except you must find tlio
man."
" All right, sir, I'll try."
"Then you'll get him. Iteport to juc
by telegraph if you have him or need
help."
1 went to the Astor House and inquir
ed wlio stuck them. Tho cashier said it
was a portly looking Jew, black hair and
whiskers, and well dressed.
Then I hastened to tho exchange office
to find that a woman had been there, but
the money was of tho same kind. Here
was a posef I hastened to tho ' railroad
office to find that tlio man who made tho
change there was a slim, dark-haired man
who represented himsolf as a drover from
Chicago, llo was a pleasaut looking
gentleman, who wanted to ship a cover
ed buggy, a piano, and some choice house
hold furniture West nud , so ho took a
card telling him how to fchip his things,
and quietly went out, drawing a cloth
cap over his head as he went out of tho
door.
At Applcton's it was lato. I could
not see tho man that mado the sale, but
learned that ho bought a gilt-edged pray
er book and two handsomely bound vol
umes suitable for a Christmas gift to a
lady. Tho prayer book was bound iu
brown velvet evidently for a middle
aged person a wife or mother.
I went to my boarding house, and ate
a light dinner just at dark. I had a job
on hand and not much time. Tho man
was evidently a stranger living out of
town. I did not think so from his pro
fessed desire to ship a piano, &c, but
from the fact that ho bought Christmas
presents before the time, on such a day.
Had he lived in the city, he never would
have taken them with him in tho storm.
And I learned that ho did not have his
purchases sent to any address.
JJiu lie live at Albany I Mo lor
people, as a general thing, commence
their deviltry somewhere else except at
home. But I would go there and sec
who had called at the railroad office.
So I bought a ticket for Albany, and
staited on the 8 o'clock train. It was a
terrible stormy night. Tho suow was
piled on ieuccs, door-knobs, omnibus
tops, and window-ledges.
As was my usual custom, I looked
through all the cars to sec who I knew
or did not know. And, perhaps, I might
see a suspicious looking man aboard.
But no there were old men, and young
men old women and young women with
a few babies on tho train.
The train halted at Fishkill, opposite
the river from Newburg. I saw a well
dressed man, a little taller than myself,
come out of the car next to me, carrying
in his hand a small valise or tiaveling
bag. I noticed from the window that he
went at once to the corner of tho depot
where a boy was in waiting with a buggy
got in, took tho lines himself, and
drovo down to tho ferry-boat.
What possessed me I cannot tell, but
something told me to follow him. So I
hastened out of tho car, jumping from
the train al'tcr it was well under motion.
I ran to the omnibus which had started
for tho Newburg side, and clambered in
to the disgust of two ladies both of whoso
feet were well trodden ero I found a
scat.
Arriving at the other side of tho river,
I sprang out of the 'bus and asked a boat
hand who that was in the carriage.
" That man with a boy ?"
" Yes tho one with a boy beside
him."
" Why, that is is ! Pshaw, I know
his name see him most every day, but
by thunder, I can't jest speak it now."
" Does, lie live in iNewburgf
" Yes."
" Did he cross the river this moru
in ?"
" Yes in tho first boat for train east."
Was the boy with him ?"
" Yes."
" Well, I know who it is."
"Who?"
" Judge Edwards 1"
" No, sir, that ain't Judge Edwards,"
replied tho boatman as he turned to at
tend to his duties.
Arriving at the hotel, I took a room
and directed that I be called in time for
tho first train to New York. Then,
being weary, I sought a few hour's rest.
Promptly tho porter called me, and I
arose. The snow was quite deep, and the
few people who wcro out seemed anxious
to get back to warm places and good shel
ter. I went down to tho ice crusted fer
ry boat, but no Judge Kdwards was there
nor was his horse and boy. I asked tho
boatman I talked with the night beforo if
tho Judge went over every day, when ho
replied :
" I don't know. But that man you
saw last night was not Judge Kdwards
and I told you so."
"Well, who was he?"
" That was Ned CrampLon I tho't af
ter you went off."
" What docs ho do ?"
" Nothing, I guess, he's a rich Now
Yorker, and ho lives on his money."
" Where docs he live ?"
!' Out near Washington's old head
quarters, in the Clinton Cottage."
" Has ho a family?"
"Wife, I believe -least wise thero is a
woman with him there."
" Is ho a fast fellow ?"
" Lord, no 1 Ho goes to church every
Sunday, no matter it it pours."
" Docs his wife go ?" :
" Yes, most ullers."
What Church ?"
The Episcopal, with tho other big
bugs." ' ' '
" Prcfty cold weather for ferry business
now, is it not ?"
" You try it a few years for thirty-five
dollars a month, and sco how you like
it I"
' No thank you."
"That's what I thought."
And he turned away, while wo re
turned to tho hotel for our breakfast,
After breakfast I waited awhilo and
walked slowly to tho post office, and from
thero to Clinton Cottage, a beautiful,
home-like place, on a fine riso of ground
overlooking the river. I did not know but
I might meet Mr. Crauipton but did not.
So I continued walking till I reached the
cottage.
A ring at the door bell was answered
by a negro-servant, who looked like a
young giant, sharp, keen, trust-worthy.
" Good morning."
" Good morning, sir."
"Ij Mr. Crampton through break
fast ?"
" How do you know ho is at home
sir?"
" I know he is came up from New
York with him last night."
"Oh, that's it. But he didn't tell
mc 1"
" It's nil right. I'll just step in the
parlor. Tell him a friend has called
not to hurry I'll wait."
' " Yes sir."
And the servant retired after showing
me to the parlor, which was quite warm,
though a morning fire had not yet been
kindled in the coal stove, which retain
cd warmth from last night's usage.
While I was looking about the room ad
miring the beautiful furniture, and ar
ticles of beauty everywhere, a door opened
and in walked Mr. Crampton. He was
a tall, quick, nervous, powerful or self
possessed man, about thirty-five years of
age. And ahncr appearing gentlemen it
would be hard to find. As he came in,
I rose from the easy chair, and said
", Mr. Crampton, I believe."
" Yes sir. But you have the start of
me I have not the honor of your ac
quaintance."
" My name is Mclntyre. Henry Mcln
tyre, of New York."
" Be seated Mr. Mclntyre. May I
know the object of your visit?"
" Yes sir, you aro my prisoner. I am
a detective officer, and arrest you for
passing counterfeit money bank bills.
"Arrest me? That is a good joko!
Arrest me ? llcally I am honoured I
Do I resemble a counterfeiter a sport
ing man of that stamp ?"
"No, sir, you do not. And that is
why I arrest you. You were in New
York yesterday and bought a diamond
ring ?"
" No, sir, I did not."
" Were at the Astor House ?"
" No, sir. never ston there : was not
there yesterday."
"Will you show mc the way to your
dining room ?"
"Certainly, as I am your prisoner, and
you are doubtless armed."
" Yes sir, well armed, as you will see.
Proceed."
At the table I found his wife, a beau
tiful young woman, not to exceed twenty
years. Her hair was black as jet, and
her dress bespoke wealth. On a stand
near the window were three books gilt
edge prayer book, brown velvet binding,
and two beautiful " Annuals," or holiday
gifts.
On tho floor by the stand was a piece
or brown wrapping paper, just from tho
books.
" You purchased those iu New York
yesterday at Applcton's !"
" I did, and I paid lor them."
11 is wife at that moment hit the room.
I looked tit my watch. It was hTieeu
minutes past ten o'clock. I told tho
sheriff whom I had seen, to como to the
house at half past ten if I were not at the
hotel by that time. In twenly-flvo min
utes ho would be here.
In a few moments his wife returned. I
noticed a look of urfder-mcaning pass be
tween them but no one said a word. T
was sure I had my man. After his wife
had returned, he introduced we to her,
and said :
' My dear, is not this ludicrous? This
gentleman is from New York has ar
rested me for passing counterfeit money !
Did you ever hear such nonsense?"
"Never ! but you are joking, Ar
rested you? I'd as soon expect lo see
my dear father arrested.''
Turning to mo she continued. ,
' You havo arrested him, have you ?"
" Yes madam, he is my prisoner."
' You have no proof?
"Suspicion, madam. 1 believe your
husband to be a dealer in counterfeit
money, and I believe ho has a quautity
of it in tho house. And 1 request you
not to leave this room, till 1 havo searched
the house, nr I will bo obliged to arrest
you too."
" Counterfeit money 1 Tho idea is too
absurd. You aro welcome to look tho
houso over a dozen times. If ymi can
not find it, you will apologize to us nnd
release us your prisoners"
And sho bowed as if in mockery. By
this timo the sheriff rang at the door
and was admitted. Explaining to liiiu
in brief and leaving Mr. Crampton iu his
chargo.with tho wife to see I took nothing
I was not entitled to, I began tho search
of the house, up stairs and down ; in this
closet and that ; in this room and that.
At last I entered tho family bed-room.
A perfect boudoir. There wcro pictures,
vases, statues, etc., in endless profusion
but no money, or imitation thereof.
Then I went into the bath-room, the fur
niture consisted of two large Kchoo clubs
for gymnastic practices, a boot-jack, littlo
closet for waste paper, odds and ends. A
broom stood iu one corner of the room, a
largo body sponge hung on a nail over
the bath tub while from the open win
dow one could look out and down upon
the roof of tho wood shed.
I hunted everywhere but to no pur
pose. At last I was reluctantly com
pelled to give up the search, and with
her return to the breakfast room, where
tho sheriff and my prisoner wero waiting.
" Well, sir," asked the prisoner, " you
found the object sought, of course ?"
"No, sir, I did not."
" Perhaps you had better try another
search. I wish you to be thorough. It's
humiliating to bo thus suspicioned, and
insulted in one's own house."
"I admit it, sir: but tho innocent
must suffer inconvenience, at times or
the guilty would never be punished."
" Quito true, sir. But do you intend
taking mo to New Vork ?"
" Yrcs sir."
" On what grounds ?"
" Tho books you bought as circumstan
cial evidence."
" Yes I did buy three books for my
wife, not expecting to visit the city again
till after the holidays, I bought them
while there, and paid for them in gold, as
I can prove by three gentlemen who were
with me. But go on, sir, I am your pris
oner." And ho leaned back in his chair with
such a look of injured innocence, that I
was tempted at onco to apologize and re
turn. Kxcuso mo for a moment," said I.
Perhaps I have done you injustice. But
a good detective has littlo to guide hiin,
and must loose nothing. I will step up
stairs again, and look in a hat box 1 saw
there."
" Certainly look anywhere."
An idea had struck mc. It was my last
chance. I felt that I had the right man,
but was I justified in making the arrest?
The hat box I did not enro for but the
back room seemed inviting. I entered
and looked carefully hero and there, then
out of the window. Then I took the
sponge from the nail, any there I found
what I looked for.
The spongo was full as large as a man's
head. It had been cut away till it
looked like a sort of a cup. In the hol
low ucxt the wall, I found over six
thousand dollars of counterfeit bills.
Putting the bills in my pocket, I took
tho sponge in my hand, and leisurely
walked down stairs.
Yrou can well imagine the rest. Ex
planations were useless. The sheriff went
mc to New York that afternoon, and
with us wcut Mr. and Mrs. Crampton.
leaving the house locked with the key iu
the pocket of the Sheriff.
Mr. John Walters alias Mr Ned Cramp
ton, was an escaped convict from the
Moyamensing Prison, and one of n gang
of burglars ami counterfeiters; while his
beautiful wife who was with him, such a
regular attendant at church, was Maggio
Denver, his mistress, and keeper of a
place of dissipation in the city, except
wheu out in the country a few months of
the year.
It was four o'clock in the afternoon
when our party entered the Chief's office.
And as I took tho braolets off the delicate
wrists of Mr. (Jramptoii, tho Chief said :
I knew you would fetch him. Mack, and
hero is another case to go on right away.
JKJ"" Thero is a a man in I'ecorah,
Iowa, so penurious that, when shelling
corn a kernel flew into a wood-pile, and
ho removed seven cords to find it. A
neighbor standing near dropped a kernel
near where tho searcher was looking, but
when he found it he said : " You can't
fool mo with that kernel ; the ouo I lost
was a large one." Ifo is the same man
who charged his hired girl ten cents
every Sunday to ride to Sabbath School.
A Short ltomance.
IN the year 1852, thero came to a
beautiful town of Western Illinois,
on tho banks of the Mississippi, a gentle
man named Ilazletine, who informed
those with whom he became acquainted
that he had left a wife and family in Ver
mont, for whom ho should send us soon
as a new home in tho West was prepared
for their reception. Purchasing choice
real cstato in tho town, he erected upon it
a fine residence,and entering largely into
profitable business, he was presently ready
to bo rejoined by thoso nearest his heart,
and rejoiced in the opportunity to send
east for them by a gentleman about ma
king a flying visit thither The expected
wife nnd children however never camo.
While the husband and father was eager
ly looking for them every day, in their
stead came a letter whose revelations
seem to bow and blight the recipient like
a withering disease. What the actual
tidings were, Mr. Hazletine's nearest
neighbors and friends in the West never
knew ; but from the moment of reading,
them, ho went about like one broken in
every hope of life. At once selecting a
legal agent, he, without a word of expla
nation, convoyed all his property to his
wife, provided she appeared on the spot
to claim it within fifteen years. Iu tho
meantime, the new house was to bo rcutcd
for the payment of taxes and the agent's
commission. Having made this arrange
ment, with as few words as possible, the
stricken man peremptorily closed his bus
iness in the town, even at a great sacrifice,
and disappeared from the West. Eighteen
years have passed, and the strangely as
signed property, now greatly enhanced
in value, is still unclaimed. The period
during which tho wife's ownership was to
hold good having expired, the house and
grounds are without a known inheritor,
and challenge some Eastern household to
solve a family mystery and reclaim a noble
estate.
Cured.
M
R. ALEXANDER SIMPSON, of
Towanda, is dead. lie was billious,
Mr Alexander Simpson was, and he saw
following paragraph from the pen of
Doctor Hall.
"If a bilious man wants to get well,
and is no special hurry, all that he has to
do is to lie down out of doors, between
two boards, and lay thero until ho gets
ravenously hungry.
Mr. Simpson followed this advic?, and
calmly fell asleep with a broad board on
top of him. Under ordiuary circum
stances there would have been no trouble ;
but there was a Pat Men's Ball in the lager
beer saloon next door that day, and the
two champion fat men got over the fence,
and sat down with a jerk on top of 3Ir.
Alexander Simpson's upper board without
knowing he was there. It squelched the
the breath cut of him at the first blow,
and the fat men, you understand, they
sat, and sat there, and discussed politics,
and tho Alabama claims, and the Legal
Tender Act, and the weather, and wo
man's rights, and the Harrison boiler and
metaphysics, and they kept on drinking
glass after glass of beer, and getting
heavier and heavier, until one of them
happened to look under tho board and
there was Alexander Simpson, as dead as
Nebuchadnezzar, and mashed so thin that
you could pass him under a closed door
without scraping his vest buttons! He
docs not suffer from bile now. But does
anybody know where Doctor Hall lives ?
Because Mrs. Simpson i3 making inquiries,
and she is anxious to snatch a lew silver
hairs from his brow, and to necessitate
tho purchase of a patent glass eye.
A Hint. Not many miles from (own
a company of a few friends might havo
been seen one evening in the parlor of an
old couple, spending a few hours in social
chat. Time flew rapidly to all, save the
" head of the house," who, about niue
o'clock got very sleepy. He never stayed
out of bed later than that if he could help
it. The company, however, talked and
talked, and talked to the old lady, who
enjoyed her conversation much, whilst
her bigger half dozed and nodded and
occasionally snored just a little, finally
getting his eyes fully opened, and seeing
the clock marked half-past nine, ho
turned, yawningly, toward tho partner of
his joys and sorrows, nnd said," Wife
hadn't wo better go tolled ? These folks
waut to go home.
JO"" A distinguished writer says there
is one place in tho Bible where the girls
ore commanded to kiss tho men, in proof
of which ho quotes the words: "What
soever yc would that men thould do to.
you, doyo even so to them."