i mcG, Hew Bloomftdi), pn.
"Bloes Patent"
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HORACE WATERS,
Xo. 481 Broadway, Keiv York
WILL dispose of One IIundhed PrANos Mp
YV I.01.KON9 and Oiigans, of sixlirstcHssVoM
kers, Including CliickcriiiK & S( ns at kxt i'ifm y
LOW 1'lllCKS Foil CASH, DUHINO THIS MONTH or wbl
take from 85 to 825 montlily until paid 4 n"iy 11
L 0 N GE STeToo" F "
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IZinMey Knitter.
For Family Use, price 830, Knits evebytuino
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ed. Address
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423 3ina or 170 BBOADWAY, N. Y.
J" AMES IB. CLARK,
MANCPACTUKBIt AND DEALElt IN
Stoves, Tin and Sheet Iron Ware
New Bloomflcld, Terry co., Pn.,
kept in a first-class establishment.
All the latest Btyles and most Improved
Parlor awl Kitchen Stoves,
TO BUKN EITIIEK COAL Oil WOOD!
rf,?T,8l)outlngand "''(! put up In the most
"ud'en'Ii'ue'ii'iss'lIJcV."1 ""P'to
Xew Carriage Manufactory,
On High Street, East op Carlisle St.,
New BloomOeld, Penn'a.
THE subscriber has tmllt a largo and commodl.
ous Shop on High Kt., East of Carlisle Wreet,
New Hloomlleld, la.. where lie Is prepared to man
ufacture to order
Ca
1 !
uigfc
Of every description, out of the best material.
Sleighs of every Style,
built to order, and finished In the most artistic and
durable manner.
. Having superior workmen, he Is prepared
to furnish work (hat will compare favorably with
the best City Work, and much more durable, ami
at Hindi lll.H'M I'ikiiiiiihlM ruin
S-HETAlKJNGof allkiiidsneatlyand prompt-
lyuuuu. win is goiiciieo..
SAMUEL SMITH.
3Ut
Couldn't Spell It.
A YANKEE from the Green Moun
tains visited the city of Loudon.
I While passing through one oftlio tlior-
oughl'ares, liis attention was arrested by
j some Kjiociiiiens of writing ptiper, exposed
j for sale in a slioj) window. .Seeing tlio
proprietor of tlie estiiblislniicnt standing
j at the door, the Yankee eivily inquired
of him what lie did with them ' nice bits
! of paper."
! " We keen them to tie mi fnno com! in
said the cockney, .snappishly.'' Oh, ye du
du ye V said Jonathan. Passing down
the street a few steps, our indignant Yan
kee saw another niercliunt.
" I say, mister, can yon tell mo what
that feller does for n liviu' what keeps
them ere nice bits of paper at the win
der?" " Yes, sir. Jo is a small dealer in
paper and a sort of scribe, lie writes
letter.'! for persons."
" I reckon it is a very small dealer mid
that he is a pharisoe as well as a scribe.
Do you think he will write a letter for
me if I pay him for it ?"
The Yankee thrust his hands into his
pockets almost up" to his elbows and walk
ed back.
" say, misier, they say as how you
sell and write letters fur folks what can't
write. What will ye ax to write a letter
to my sister Sally '!"
" I shall charge you five shillings."
Will ye write just what I tell ye, and
spell the words right as 'we do in Ver
mont?" K
" To be sure I will."
" Well, I guess you may write to Fal
ly." The Londoner procured a pen, ink
and paper, and the Yankee commenced
dictating after the usual style:
" Dear sister Sally."
" 'Jtived in town last week."
" Have yo got that down ?"
" Yes, go on."
" Thought I go into the country and
take a ride."
" Well the old marc, balked. She
wouldn't go, so I licked her."
" Well go on."
" Licked her licked her licked her
licked her."
u nai is uic use oi saying that so
many times 1"
"NonOofvOUr Jiusinoss. T nnv vnn
five shillings licked her licked her
-licked her licked her.
" This page is fnll of licked hers."
" Turn over then licked lmr lioL-o1
her, licked her, licked her. She wouldn't
go tlien, so I got out and kicked her,
KicKeu ner, Kicked tier, kicked her."
" You are not intendino- m nnv that.
as many times as you said licked her."
- i one oi your business; 1 pay you.
Kicked her. kicked her. Hol-orl Li-
She Wouldn't CO then sn T shnrrwnoil tliA
end of a whip handle, and I pricked her,
pncKeu ner, pricked tier, pricked her."
" It cannot sec any sense in all this."
" Never mind, I pay you. Licked her,
kicked her, pricked her, licked her,
kicked her. nrickod her. liekprl Lay- tint.
ed her, pricked her. '
" bho wouldn't go then, bo I got, out
aud I" (here the Yankee made a chir
ruping noise with his tongue and lips
which bids defiance to orthography.)
" I cannot spell that."
" Oh, ye can't spell that, ha? Wal, ye
needn't write any more for me."
" Need not write any more '("
" No more," said the Yankee.
" Not a word to close with ?"
" Nary a word."
" You will pay me for what I have
written ?"
"Not a red. Yon did not write down
all I told you to."
" Wrell, sir, what am I to do with all
this paper I have spoiled ?"
" Keep it to tie up gape seed."
Had to bo Paid For.
lie of whom wo write lived in one of
tho numerous " cities" of Michigan. In
addition to farming he made a little
(some euid much) money by selling beef.
But according to his own statement, he
always lost money by it. Whilo serving
his customers with tender steaks he
would speak feeliugly of how much was
lost on that " critter."
" Well, Uncle Johnny," said a cus
tomer, " if you lose so much money, why
don't you quit business 1"
Uncle Johnny was equal to tho occa
sion, wb he replied, in slow aud thought
ful manner, " Well, the fact is, I've just
bought the farm next south of mine, and
it's got to he. paid or."
JBQfWhat does a husband's promise
about giving up tobacco end in ? Why,
in smoke.
Is He Fat?
riMIE FOLLOWING story is a true
JL record of an event which happened
in Hopkinton, Mass., and;ono wo often
have heard told when we were a boy.
There were a couple of men in that town
who were in the habit of stealing sheep
and robbing churchyards of the burial
clothes oftho dead.
There was a public road lcadin; bv a
meeting-house, where there was a grave
yard and not for otF a tavern.
Early one moonlight night, while one
of the miscreants was busy robbing a
grave, the other went to steal a sheep.
The first one having accomplished his
business, wrapped a shroud around him,
and took a seat in the mceting-houso door
to wait for his companion."
A man on foot passing "along tho road
towards the tavern, took him to be a ghost
and alarmed almost to death, ran as fast
as his feet could carry him to tho tavern
which he readied out of breath.
As soon as ho could speak he declared
that he had seen a ghost robed in white
sitting in the church door. Jut nobody
would believe bis story.
13ut incredulous as they were, no one
could bo found that had' courage enough
to go.
At length a man who was so afllictcd
with (he rheumatism that he could scarce
ly walk, declared he would go if the man
would carry him there, lie at once
agreed, took him on his back, and off
they went.
When they got in sight, sure enough
it was as he said !
Wishing to satisfy themselves well and
get as near a view as possible of his ghost
ship in the dim light, they kept ventur
ing nearer and nearer.
The man with the shroud around him
took them t be his companion with a
sheep on his back, and asked in a low
tone of voice:
" Is he fiit ?"
Meeting with no reply, he repeated
the question, raising his voice higher.
" Is he fat ?"
Still no reply.
Then, in a vehement tone, he called:
" Is he fat?"
This was enough. The man with the
other on his back replied :
" Fat or lean you may have him."
Aud droppiii': the invalid he travelled.
back to tho tavern as fast as his feet
would carry him. Bnt ho had scarcely
arrived there, when along came tho in
valid on foot, too !
The Budden fright had cured him of
rheumatism ; aud from that time for
ward ho was a well man.
A Diitclinian's Experience at a Ball.
TTKM T virsk (rota L.t L..11
' ft"" .'M.I tuuevu
place, I goes mit mineself und an-
ouer iriena to nic, up stairs to a room
vhere he got a gouple of drinks, und we
enjoys ourselves for a little vile brettv
A ' - 1 ' . 1 . J
gooi in a orivare Kind ot a vay. Aider
mit dat brivate meetings atjoios, I goes,
mit dat ball-room again, und do moosic
fiddlers vas hart at vorlt. nml iuL An
tanzers ; for dat tanzing ish going ahead
uiu quius iast, und every pody ish lookin'
so bleased und telighted ash a poodle
to".
I untcrtook to tanzen mit dat waltzes
ding in bartnership mit a nice splendid
laty girl vot dat floor manager makes a
introduction to mo mit, but I get bo diz
zy mit mine head dat I fall town mit my
self right in de middle of do tanze, und
do ball-room floor, vhich dings ubsct
apout six odder gouples pesido mineself,
und dat' ting makes dat valtzen tanzen
stop right avay, und bouio odder tanzes
ish Bet agoing. How it ish dat I slip ub
und fall down mit dat valtzen 1 can't dell
unless it vas on acgount dat I ish haben
on mine Yankee poots instead of tanzen
6lipbers, or else dem brivate meetings ish
to much for me.
Ven dwelve o'klocks strikes, den I at
tends anodder brivato meeting py Wheel
er's blace, on der Market Straus, and I
vote at it mit a sota coekdail mit sugar
in ; uud aider dat I makes makes miuo
vay mit mine poarding-house, at vhich
blace I must stand outside panging at do
toor until tree o'klocks in de morning,
pefore I cau vakeu ub de sleepy heads
inside sodhey can come town quick aud
make de toor open so I can got inside
und mit miuo hunki tory ped.
I don't go noding against any sociaple
hop barty ball, yet still I dink itvould pe
pettor if dhey vould po held in tcr tay
light dime, bo ash beeples vot likes to go
mit Bueh blaco vouldu't lost no sleep,
und vould don haben a chance to get ub
do uext tay niitout a treadful pad tamna
tion headake bain, vot most dook your
senses avay, shust like I ish now enshoy
ing mit no sport.
Tlio (Scimnn Soldiers At Drill.
fjPIIE Uerlin correspondent of the New
JL York Eetninu Post, who was himself
a soldier in tlio late war for the Union,
writes as follows :
" Tho discipline and daily routine of
exercise for the Prussian army is, to all
foreigners, a source of never-ending won
der. The early morning is devoted to
cleansing tho quarters, and correcting
any irregularities which may have arisen
out of the previous day's dulies. Later
in. the forenoon the hours are given t i
study arithmetic, geography, geometry
theory and practice of military science
ami even singing is not neglected.
Great importance is attached to the stud
ies of the soldiers, aud by attaining a cer
tain advancement in knowledge each one
niter a satisfactory examination, can short
en In.-, term of service from one to
two years. In tho afternoon of each day
tne noaiiy culture is attended to. and this
consists of not only purely inilitarv drill
but also of cverv variet v of y.!iv.!u.;,i1 v.
ereise, calculated to add either strength
or suppleness to tho human form run
ning, leaping, vaulting balancing, bayo
net exercise lifting, shooting, blending to
gether such an innumerable variety of
movements that no muscle of the body
is without its daily exercise. Tho squad
drills arc followed by company and regi
mental parades, and at short intervals
by grand field movements of brigades
and divisions, and these once or twice
a year by grand army movements with
mock battles. I have not been fortunate
enough to witness any of their grand
tactics, but the exercises in detail by
company, battalion, squadron or battery
aud in particular the artillery movements
seem to me to bo as near perfection as
patience and practice can make them."
Long Words.
SOME amusing illustrations of tha
fondness of negroes for long words
are given by Mr. Macrae in his book dis
criptive of scenes in American life.
Once, when addressinu' a nnm-n nmvnr
meeting, Mr. Macrae spoke of this life as
a state of probation. " A colored gen
tleman who followed mo improved my
observation by reminding tho meeting
with great vehemence, that, " as our white
brudder says, we is all in a state of prohi
bition." Another hearing some one spoken of
a a " venerable brother," introduced
a missionary ns his " venomous brud
der.
On another occasion he entreated the
Lord to convict the people of their sin,
aud make them smite on their breasts
like the " Republicans of old."
Another man was in the habit of using
iii his prayers the tremendous word " dis
arumguintigated" the origin or signifi
cance of the word no one in the place
had ever beeu able to discover. lie
prayed that their good pastor might be
" disarumgumtigated, and dat de wite
teachers who had come bo far to construct
do poor colored folks might also bo dis
arumgumtigated." The homeliueBS and directness of the
negro prayers sometimes produce a ludic
rous effect. Mr. M. Bays that he was
sometimes singled out and prayed for as
" do white gemmcn in de corner," or " de
white brudder near do door."
s- Soon after Chief Justice Chase
assumed the gubernatorial chair in Ohio,
he issued his proclamation appointing a
Thanksgiving Day. To make sure of
being orthodox, the Governor composed
his proclamation almost exclusively of
passages from the Bible, which he did
not designate as quotations, presuming
that every oue would recognize them, and
admire the fitness of the words as well
as his taste in their selection. The proc
lamation mcetiug the eyes of a Demo
cratic editor, he pounced at once upon it,
declared that ho had road it before
couldn't exactly Bay where but he
would take his oath that it was downright
plagiarism from beginning to eud ! That
would have been a pretty fair joke ; but
the uext day the Republican editor came
out valiantly in defence of the Governor,
pronounced the charge false and libelous,
and challenged any man living to pro
duce ono single line of the proclamation
that had ever appeared in print before.
BSF A veteran observer once declared
that no ono know what envy and jealousy
were until he had served in tho army.
The observer probably had never belonged
to a church choir.
A year of pleasure passes like a
floating breeze ; a moment of misfortune
scorns un use of pain.
SUNDAY READING.
A Tale fro? the German.
N that beautiful part of Germany
which borders on the Rhine, there
is a noble castle, which, as you travel on
the western bank of the river you may
see lifting its ancient towers on the oppo
site side, above tho grove of trees which
arc about as old as itself. About forty
years ago there lived in that castle a no
ble gentleman, whom we shall call Baron.
The Baron had an only son, who was not
only a comfort to his father but a blessing
to til! who lived on his father's land.
It happened on u certain occasiou,'that
this young man being away from home,
there eanio a French geut'.enian to see the
old Baron. As soon as this gentleman
came into the castle, he began to talk of
his Heavenly Father in terms that chilled
the old man's blood, on which the Baron
reproved him. saying', " Are you not
afraid of ofi'onding God, who reigns above,
by speaking in such a manner ?"
Tho gentleman said he knew nothing
about God, for he had never seen Him.
The Baron did not notice at this time
what tho gentleman said, but tho next
morning took occasion first to show a very
beautiful picture which huncr on the
wall.
' My son drew that picture," said the
Baron .
" Thou your son is a very clever one,"
replied the gentleman.
The Baron then went with the visitor
into the garden, and showed him many
beautiiul flowers, plants and forests.
VY ho has the ordering
den V said the gentleman.
of the gar-
"My son," replied the baron; "he
knows every plant, I may say, from the
Cedar of Lebanon to the hyssop on the
wall."
"Indeed," said tho gentleman, "I
shall think very highly of him soon."
The Baron took him into the village,
and showed him a small neat cottage,
where his son had established a school.
aud where he caused all the poor children
who had lost their parents, to bo received
and nourished at his own expense.
J. lie children in this house looked so
happy aud innocent, that the French gen
tleman was very much pleased, and when
he returned to the castle, he said to the
Baron, " What a happy man you are to
have such a good son."
" How do vou
do you know I have a erood
son?"
" Because I have seen his works, and
1 know that he must be both good and
clever if he has done all you have shown
me.
" But you have never seen him;"
" No; but I know him very well, be
cause I judge of him by his works."
" You do; aud now please to draw
near to this window, and tell mo what
you observe from thence."
"Why I see the sun traveling through
the sky and shedding its glories over one
ot the greatest countries in the world;
and 1 behold a mighty river at my feet,
and a vast range of woods, and I see pas
ture grounds, and orchards, and vine
yards, and cattle and sheep, feeding iu
green fields; and many thatched cottages
scattered here and there."
" And do you see anything to be ad
mired iu all this? Is there anything
pleasant or lovely or cheerful in all that
is spread before you ?"
" Do you think I want common sense ?
or that I have lost the uso of my eyes,
my friend ?" said tha gentleman some
what augrily, "that I should not be able
to relish the charms of such a scene as
this ?"
" Well, then," said the Baron, " if you
are able to judge of my son's good char
acter by seeing his good works, how does
it happen that you form no judgement of
the goodness of God, by witnessing such
wonders of his handiwork as are now be
fore you ? Let me never hear you, my
good friend, again say that you know not
God, unless you would have me suppose
that you have not the use of your
senses."
What is our life at its longest ? What
are the schemes npon which we most set
our heart ? We grow old while wo yet
feel young. Our bark that glided Bwiftly
along the shores of life, quickly gets out
into the rapids beyond which are the roar
aud the foam of the great Niagara.
tW " I never knew a man," says an old
author, " who could not hear another's mis
fortunes just like a Christian" which re
minds us of tho old lady who thought every
misfortune to her friend a judgment