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3 lit
A T1IRILIING SKETCH.
ONE of the most striking cases of
presence of mind and self-possession
of which we havo any recollection, came
to light on a trial which took place some
f-ears since in Ireland. The story looks
ike' a fiction, but it is said to be strictly
true. A woman travelling along a road
to join her husband, who was a soldier
quartered at Athlone, was joined by a
pedlar, who was going the same way.
They entered into conversation during a
walk of some hours, and as the day began
to wane, they agreed that they should
stop for the night at a house of entertain
ment, and pursue their pedestrian journey
the next day.
They reached an humblo inn. situated
in a lonely spot by the roadside, and fa
tigued by a long day's walk, they were
glad to find themselves under a roof.
Having refreshed themselves with the
substantial supper set before them, they
were shown into the travellers' room, and
went to rest in their respective beds
ihe pedlar, before retiring, had called the
landlord aside and given in his keeping
the pack which he had unstrapped from
his back till the morning, telling him
that it contained a considerable sum of
money and much valuable property. They
were not long in bed before the pedlar
fell into a sound sleep ; but the poor
woman, perhaps from over-fatigue, or
from thoughts of meeting her husband
next day, lay awake. A couple of hours
might have passed, when she saw the
door slowly opened, and a person enter
ing holding a light, which he screened
with his hand. She instantly recognized
in him one of the young men she had
seen below son to the landlord.
He advanced with stealthy steps to the
bedside of the pedlar, and watched him
for a few seconds. Ho then went out,
and entered again with his brother and
father, who held in his hand a largo pew
ter basin. They went on tiptoe to the
bed-side whore the pedlar lay in a deep
sleep. One of the young men drew out a
knife, and whilo the lather held the basin
so as to catch the blood, he cut the poor
victim s throat from ear to ear. A slight
half-audible groan, and all was still, save
the cautious movements ot the ' party en
gaged in the deed. They had brought
with them a large sack, into which they
quickly : thrust the unresisting body.
The poor woman lay silent in her bed
tearing that her turn would come next.
She heard low mutterings among the men
from which she soon gathered that they
were debating whether they should mur
der her, too, as they feared that she
might have it in her power to betray
them.
One of them said ho was sure she was
asleep, and that there was no occasion to
trouble thcmsolves more j but to make
sure of this being the case one of them
came to the bedside with the caudle in
his hand, and the other with a knife.
She kept her eyes closed as if in sleep,
and had such complete command over
herself as not to betray in her countenance
any sign that she was conscious of what
was going ou. The candle was placed
close to her throat; she never winked
or showed by any movement of feature
or of limb that she apprehended danger.
So the men whispered that she was sound
asleep that nothing was to be feared
froui her, and they went out of the room
removing the sack which contained the
body of the man.
How long must that night of horror
have seemed to the poor lono woman
how frightful was its stillness and dark
ness ! The presence of mind which had
so astonishingly enabled her to act a part
to wtucli she owed her Iile, sustained her
through all the trying scenes which she
had yet to pass. Sho did not hurry
from her room at an unreasonable hour
but waited until sho heard all the family
astir for some time : she then went down
and said she believed sho hud ovcrslopt
I 1 P t .,
uernuu in consequence ot ueing greatly
tired. She asked where the pedlar was.
and was told that he was in too great a
hurry to wait for her, but that he had
leit a sixpence to pay for her breakfast,
Sho sat down composedly to that meal
and forced herself to partake with ap
parent appetite ot the food, sat before her.
When the meal was over, sho took leave
of the family, and went on her way with
out the least appearance of discomposure
or mistrust.
Sho had proceeded but a short way
when (she was joined by two strapping
looking women. Ono look was suflieicnt
to convince her that they were the two
young men, and one , thought to assure
her that sho was yet in their power, and
on the very vergo of destruction. They
walked sido by side, eutcred into conver
sation, asked her where aha
and told her that their road lay the same
.1 .. . .
wayjmey questioned ner as to where
she had lodged the night before, and
maae most minute inquiries about the
family inhabiting the house of entertain
ment. Her answers we're quite unembar
rassed, and she said the house hnrl on.
peared to be decent and civil, and had
ireaiea ner very well.
I or two hours the young men contin
ued by her side, watchine with thn mnt
scrutinizing glances any change in her
countenance, ana asking questions which
had she not been fullv self nnKspaaod
might have put her off her guard. It was
not tin ner dreaded companions had left
her and till she saw her husband coming
along the road to meet her. that shn lnat.
her self-command which she had so suc
cessfully exercised, and throwing herself
into his arms fainted away.
A. Bright Clown.
HENRY IV., of France, was fond of
playing practical jokes on his sub
jects, but ho sometimes found bright
peasants who were quite ready to take off
the joke on their side. Here is a speci
men :
Henry IV., being out one day hunting
lost his party and was riding alone. Ob
serving a country fellow stauding upon a
gate, apparently on the watch, ho asked
him what he was looking for.
" I've come hero," says he, " to see the
king."
" Get up behind me," replied the mon
arch, " and I will soon conduct you to
a place where you will be sure to see
him."
Hodgo, without any scruple, mounted,
but as they were riding along he put the
sagacious question :
" They tell me he's got a power of
lords with him ?"
The king replied that he would be able
to distinguish him by seeing all his at
tendants take off their hats, while he
himself remained uncovered.
Soon after they joined the hunt, when
all the circle, as may well be expected,
were greatly surprised to see tho king so
oddly attended.
When they were arrived, his majesty,
turning to the clown, asked him if he
thought he could tell which was the
king.
" I don't know," said he ; " but faith,
it must be one of us two, for we've both
got our hats on."
A Good Recommendation.
A PATENT medicino vender in one
of our principal cities, was dilating
to a large crowd upon the wonderful effi
cacy of his iron bitters, pronouncing
them the groat panacea and all-potent in
building up an " iron coustitution."
" That is so that is so," said a by
stander, " What ho tells you is a fact,
gentlemen every word of it."
. " Hear that, will you 1" cried the do
lighted quack ; " here is liviug testimony
right before your eyes a man who has
used the bittors, and can recommend
them."
No," not exactly that," replied tho fel
low ; " I have never used tho stuff my
self ; but you boo, Steve Jenkins did, and
they saved his lifo."
" How's that 1" questioned some one.
" Well, you see, Steve had taken the
bitters jest one week before he was shov
ed in prison for murder. lie was stripped
of everything in the shape of iron about
him, and yet he made a bar and worked
his way out."
" Probably ho had whisky enough in
him to furnish a bar," suggested a wag.
" No, but ho didn't," retorted the first.
" Ho had been taking this man's iron
bitters, d'ye mind ? and what does Steve
do but open a vein his arm, and took
enough iron out of his blood to make a
crowbar, and pried the gates open with it
and let himself out. Fact !"
A Sort Toned Bell,
llev. Azel Uackus, D. D., was a gradu
ate of Yale, and became President of
Hamilton College. It was in tho good
old day when they had prayers and reci
tations before breakfast, so that eurly
rising was in order. Tho chapel bell was
moderate iu size and fecblo in utterance
and became a stauding excuse for " sleep
ing over," " I didn't hear tho bell !" At
last one morning, the President himself
was late at morning ' prayers, and as ho
opened tho Bible to commence the service,
he delighted tho boys by indorsing their
own threadbare excuse : " The fact is,
young gentlemen, that I didn't hear the
bell. And no wonder, for it scarcely
makes more noiso thau would the shaking
of a fur cap, with ri sheep's tail for a
clapper r
A Sharp Soldier.
THE struggle now going on between
the French and Prussians recalls to
mind an amusing anecdote of the wars of
the first Napoleon. I will tell the tale as
it was told me making allowance for dif
ference of style in tho narrators :
A certain drench soldier, whoso name
I know not, moved by the love of beer,
pretzels, sauerkraut, or aught else, which
also I know not, had deserted over to tho
German service. Twice ho was retaken,
and escaped punishment through some
fortunate accident, but the third time it
was resolved, with ' sacres' loud and deep
No mercy I
However, he had laid in a good stock
of German not bolognas, but gutturals.
Possibly be had been taught by some fair
Katherina, for who can talk if a woman
can't ? So our Frenchman resolved to
pass for a good old Dutch JUans ; no
mistake about that. Ot course his com
rades loaded him with a shower of re
proaches for his rascality or courage
take your choice and he overwhelmed
them with a torrent of High Dutch.
Tho trial came. Jean, Henri, Fran
chois, and a dozen or two more testified to
his identity. And such a host of ques
tions was poured on him ! Still he per
sisted he was a German, in German too
-r-so much that the services of an inter
preter had to be called into requisition.
So the trial had to be postponed that
the wise heads might find some plan to
entrap this imperturbable German.
It was agreed that at tho next session
of this most worthy court-martial, the in
terpeter should give questions and an
swers just tho opposite of tho real ones,
hoping to stir up the French blood. Re
solved, seconded passed.
Well, the prisoner was once more
brought before them. The game was a
perfect failure. Not a muscle of tho
would-bo German's face moved.
"Mon Dieu! What shall we do?"
said tho presiding officer.
Off our friend was paced to prison,
and you may think how heads were
scratched and scratched to devise some
other plan. " I have it," said one. " So
you have," said they all, when he made
known his sagacious plan.
So this enterprising individual went at
night to the prison with a single compan
ion. Overpowering the guard rather
easy when the latter made no resistance
they seized tho keys, rushed to tho pris
oner's cell, shook him and awoke him.
" Como, now ; we know you're so-and-so,
but no matter, you're a good fellow.
Here's your only chance. Come along 1"
Our deserter looks at them with a va
cant stare, and thunders out a cart load of
German jawbreakers. Failure No. 2.
Then it was agreed, probably by the phil
osophical officers, to snare a real live Ger
man, and compare his sprachen tie with
that of the pseudo Teuton "Tres hcin."
" Well, some poor countryman was
found, probably cajoled by the promise of
" Zwei glass lager," and brought before
the august tribunal with his " friend and
brother."
But tho latter was not yet to bo caught.
As soon as ho laid his eyes on tho burly
peasant, he cried out in German, of
course : " O, my dear cousin ! How
are you I Don't you remember me V etc.,
even affectionately inquiring after tho
health of tho pigs and poultry.
This was too much ; but the French
character is magnanimous. The presid
ing omcer turning to him said :
" Well. I know von'ro sn.nnd.sn Vint
your coolness, worthy of a soldier, nier
; i' : i i . ...
no jfuui- juigivuuuss. UO, DUD ICl IU1S
be your last offence."
One would think that heie his nrps.
enco of mind would fail him. No, in
deed ! Turning to the internreter. ho
asked for an explanation. It was given
him. 1 hen, bowing respectfully to tho
officer, he thanked him in German !
Talk of German relations and 'Dutch
uncles' after that !
JKSfA Yankee having told an English
man that he shot on ouo particular occasion
nine hundred and ninety-nine snipes.
tho latter asked him why ho didn't
make it a thousand at once ? "No," said
he, ''not likely I'm going to tell a lie for
a snipe.." Whereupon tho Englishman
rather "relied," and determined not to
bo outdone, began to tell a long story
of a man having swam from Liverpool to
isoston. "Did you see him," asked tho
Yankee suddeuly, "Did you seo him
yourself '" "Why, yes, of course I did,
I was coming across and our vessel passed
him a mile out of Boston harbor."
"Well, I'm glad ye saw him, stranger;
'cos yer a witness that I did it. That
was me !
The German and the Census Taker.
AN episode that lightened the labors
of an assistant marshal, was an in
terview with a German with but little of
this world's goods, but blessed with eight
children under his roof tree, and four
married and living out. He was " inter
viewed" where he sat on his bench
with a boot in one hand and an awl in
the other. After considerable spelling
and effort to write down a most unpro
nounceable name, the children were tak
en from the eldest down the ladder until
the youngest, an infant of six months,
wag reached.
" What is her name ?" said the interro
gator. " Well," said the cobbler, laying down
his work, scratching his head, and look
ing blankly at the frau, " dat ish vot I
don't know. She has got no name.
Now, old voman, you see vat it is ; dat
child go midout dot census."
" Yes," said the assistant, gravely, " it
is very important that the child should
have a name."
" Veil," said tho frau, " I told you
how it vas j my man he vant dot dis child
sell have von name vat he likes ; I like
some oder name. We have talked much
over mit dis ting and we have not
shoose any name," she concluded help
lessly. " Ah," said the cobbler, rubbing hia
hands with glee, " I have some dings.
You put dot child down on dot book vid
any name vot you like, an' dot ish do
name vot she shall have. Is dot vot you
gree mit mo, old woman ?"
" Yah, yah," said she eagerly, " you do
dot de first name vot you tink."
Tho marshal thought of Eva and wrote
it down. When the old woman saw this
she jumped for joy.
" Dat, is de name vot I vanted. You
see, old man."
" Yah," said the cobbler, half vexed.
" I vont dot child called Helena, but dot
old voman will have her own way j " but,"
said he affectionately patting her head,
" she is de best voman vot 1 want.
Bidding them adieu, and promising to
be present at the christening, the census
taker left them.
Sharp's the Word.
Old Judge D was an eccen-
trio man of prompt action, and moreover,
a bachelor. Being very rich, mammas
and blooming girls of the period tried to
enslave his affections in hymen's fetters,
though without success. Uupid s arrows
had not reached the Judge's heart with
any particular love for them. One day
he entered a restaurant in , Philadelphia
and was waited on by a very pretty girl
at whom ho looked so hard that she no
ticed it and blushed deeply. Ho imme
diately desired her to sit down a minute
informed her who ho was, and asked her
point blank to marry him, and told her he
would give her till ho had finished his
dinner to decide what answer she would
make. He then commenced his meal,
the young woman waiting on him all the
the while. He never employed so
long time to eat his dinner before or
after, nor was he ever known to dispose
of so much provender at one sitting. At
length he could hold no more, so getting
up he called tho young lady, and in his
usual short way, said :
" Time's up. Yes, or no, my dear."
" Yes, sir " blushed the maiden.
Without another word ho slipped her
arm through his, and walking up to the
astonished proprietor, informed him that
the young lady was to bo married to him
right away, and begged his company to
witness tho ceremony.
They were speedily joined together in
wedlock, and what is most singular, they
fell deeply in love with each other after
marriage and mado the best model couple
to bo found in tho country The Judge
always held that at best, marriage was
but a lottery, and he had drawn a prize.
Eugenie.
Many years ago thero lived in an An
dalusian town a Germau toy-maker, who
had a charming daughter. This young
maiden was famous for her beauty and
virtue, both of which attracted tho atten
tion and won the love of tho young son
of Count Montijo. His affection for her
was an honest one, and in spite of his
father's obstinate refusal ho married her.
Tho count refused tho young pair any
assistance, so that their sufferings prom
ised to be very great. But the two el
dest brothers of the young husband dying
the old count had but the prodigal child
whom he took back to his heart and
purse. This Countess of Mo'ntijo was the
mother of Eugonio of France.