The Bloomfield times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, September 13, 1870, Page 3, Image 3

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

    THE
"Blees Patent"
NOISELESS, LINK MOTION,
LOCK-STITCH
Sowing Machine
Challenges the World In Perfection of Work,
Strength and Beauty of Stitch, Durability of Con
stritction and Rapidity of Motion. Call and exam
Ine, and for Agencies and Circulars, apply
AT PRINCIPAL OFFICE,
623 Broadway, New York.
4 2Sly-a
Who has a House to l'aint ?
HEADY - MADE COLORS,
Known as "RAILROAD" Colors. Guaranteed to
v?T,? ff0""""'. durable a' d m n co
venient than anv Pant ever bffnrV. ii i
book entitled "Plain Talk wilT Kao cal r-ilnt
?rs ' with samples, sent free by S ft t
ini!tations.ki7 3m taWlSl,Ud 183i hm ut
NOVELTY. wtiiin, for gentlemen'!
on recelnt of m a ' y-. nKnl uv return mil
- i - it iinv jtnn xt ir tin
WATER WHEELS.
THE
DUPLEX TURBINE.
2f?wJtlyva by ?"y Wheel in existence.-
417 3"1 83 Liberty St., N. Y.
TTIN,TSON 0USE IAINTINO, By J. W
! II Masin v, 01. 4i)., 4c. Pree bv mail on
ccipt ol price. MASUltfr & WHJ.TON , N ! -4i73m
$114:0 JJ?WJ, n,a,e,!t l".6 '"os.wItIi Stencils.
4 17 3m
nples mailed fivn.
A. J. 1' L'LLAM, N. Y.
LADIES eJ-l'Eistho "st Useful ar
r,,7;,T'T UV('1- '"vented for your use
Circulars free. Mrs. Morgan, P. O. Uox&S.N Y?3m
GENTLEMEN ,T''R r;,iAN"r1Cl0AR
San,p,e, 30 eiTaK
A GREAT OFFER.
HORACE WATERS,
iVo. 4S1 Broadway, JSTew York
'WIJ'I''USP0S0 f NB HUNmiED PrANOS MP
LONGEST ROOF
In tlio United States Is on Rlnek's Sons' Fietorv
ered wit a-'0"Bt,lird ot amil IrnVtlV-
cred witli
READY ROOFING
CHEAP, dukable and easily applied. Send for
circular and samples to the maimh c urers.
READY HOOPING CO.,
4 23 lya No. 64 Courtland St. New York.
IlinJdcy Knitter.
For Family Use, price 830, Knits evehytuino
uses only one needle, simple, reliable. Circular
and sample stocking sent i-kee. Knits ten pairs
per day. A child can operate It. Aqents Want
ed. Address
Hinkley KmrriNo Machine Co., Bath, Me,
423 3ma or 170 BROADWAY, N. Y.
J" AlMIES EL CLARIES:,
MANUFACTURER AND DEALER IN
Stoves, Tin and Sheet Iron Ware
New Bloomflcld, Terry co., Pa.,
Kotamiy on hand every articlo usually
kept in a liist-elass establishment
All tho latest styles and most Improved
Parlor and KUchcn Stows,
TO BURN EITHER COAL OB WOOD!
...'""tltiE antl Hoofing put up In tho most
.BTew Carriage Manufactory,
On High Stiieet, East op Cahlislb St.,
New Bloomllcld, Penn'a.
T ,UH nCn ninaf '" ,arPfl COlllmodi-
N7w Jiloo. til v. L' Eilst.of CarliHl Htreot.
i a & o h
Of every description, out of the best material.
Sleiglis of every Style,
d!!i"b!oinamea"d m"3hd "ie most artlstl0 a,,d
vlng superior workmen, ho Is prepared
to turnlsh work hat will compare favorably with
nt'm1',?8,' Cl,y Work a,ld niucliiiioro durablo, and
at much more reasonable rates.-
REPA IKING of all kinds neatly and prompt-
ly done. A call Is solicited.
SAMUEL SMITI1.
Iltf
SAM VARNEFS VENTURE.
SAM VAItNEY waa a Greon Moun
tain boy. He bad worked as a hired
man on different farms, and had laid up
some money. He had frequently been
employed in bringing loads of produce to'
Boston market, and had made sales quite
satisfactory to his employer. On several
occasions ho had made little speculations
of his own which were quite profitable.
On one of his visits to Boston, Sam had
fallen in with a sailor who was a native
of tho same town where he himself was
born, and they had a great deal of con
versation. One of the interesting facts
which Sam learned from his townsman
was, that sailors were occasionally per
mitted to take out a small venture as it
was so-called, of their own, a little pack
age of goods, a barrel of mackerel, or
something of that sort, which would not
take up much room in tho vessel. This
they sold, and brought home the proceeds
in the produce of the country they visi
ted. On his return home, Sam meditated
profoundly on this subject, and finally
concluded to make a voyage to the West
Indies, and take a venture with him.
The question was what that venture
should be.
He had nothing on hand at the timo
but a small horse, which he had won at
a raffle, and had not been able to dispose
of. He was not a very beautiful horse.
On the contrary he was generally pro
nounced by the neighbors " an awtul ugly
boss." His neck was too short, his head
too long, his body was lean andrscra"'v.
is mane was rough and refractory,
and persisted in standing up too much
in spite of trimming and grooming, and
his tail looked like a mop. But Sam had
ridden him repeatedly and found that he
was capable of great speed in running.
The sailor told Sam that whole car
goes ot horses were frequently sent from
Connecticut to tho West Indies, and dis
posed of at a great profit, so he determin
ed that his horse should lie his
Accordingly he mounted him, rode down
u Aosran, put mm in a stable, and went
in search of his sailor friend. ITn unnn
found, him and communicated his plan.
His acquaintance, Tom Standish by name
was afraid he would not carry it out, but
no promised to icnti an tue assistance in
his power. Ho had iust shinnflfl in
vtssel bound for Jamaica, and more hands
were wanted. He introduced him to
tho captain, who made no nriinnt!
shipping him as a green hnnd. When
Al. - i. ,1 .
ine question oi mo venture came up there
was the difficulty. He had no accommo
dation for a horso aboard the brig j Sam
offered to put him on deck and take care
of him,this would be inconvenient and in
terfere with his duty. Determined' to
carry his point, Sam offered to pay freight
cash down, before sailing, and the captain
rather amused at his pertinacity,and curi
ous to see how tho ventnrn
agreed to tho proposal, so tho horso was
Binppeu, ana ine vessel sailed.
Sam was the butt of tho Hm'lnro nil ti,n
u ua
passage out. There was no end to their
jeers in me appearance ot the little horse.
Their nautical jokes on him were inex
haustible, and Sam Varney's venture was
considered tho most desperate and redicu
lous speculation that had ever been at-
lempiea.
But Sam was perfectly ininnvfnLln tt
answered all their railicries good natured-
ly, and toJd them they had better wait
and see tho upshot. Ho had never made
a bad speculation yet and he guessed ho
knew what he was about. " The boss "
he said was not a very handsome boss but
ho was a very good one ; he guessed he
could sell him.
At length the brig arrived at Kings
town, Jamaica and Sam soon has his
horse landed and stabled. When he
came to offer him for sale, nobody seemed
inclined to buy. Tho horso was decided
ly too ugly for a saddle or gig horse, and
the very drayman turned up their noses
at him. Presently the races came on,
and everybody was hurrying out of town
to the race ground.
Sam mounted his horso and rode out
with the rest. Ho observed that the
horses were not remarkable for their
speed ; there appeared to bo no thorough
bred blood horse among them, and he
concluded that the races had been gotten
up by the planters for their sport with
out having any real race horse, on- tho
island. He believed his little horse
could beat them all, and he determined
at all hazzards to give him a trial j ho
weut to the managers and offered to en
ter him for the next race.
Sam's proposition was received with
shouts of laughter. It was considered a
capital joke; but Sam told them it was no
joke ho was perfectly serious ; he wanted
TI)c times, Nm Bloomftciii, jJn.
to run his horso against the whole field
and was ready to bet on him. He ac.
cordingly entered, and instantly heavy
odds were offered against him two to
one, ten to one, and finally, one planter
offered twenty to one.
On hearing of this offer, Sam said ho
would take it. It was necessary to pro
duce the amount of his bet. Ho was in
the dress of a common sailor, and his an
tagonist said ho was not going to be tri
fled with, the stakes must be deposited
with the manager. How much would
ho bet ? " Five hundred dollars," replied
Sam. "Well down with your dust,"
said the planter. Whereupon Sam took
off a leathern belt which he had under
his clothes and counted out $500 in
doubloons. Tho planter's check was
pronounced satisfactory, and received by
tho managers. Many other bets were
made by different persons, with heavy
odds against Sam's horse.
When Sam rod9 up to tho starting
place there were shouts of laughter at his
appearance and the most unsparing cen
sures of his presumption in entering on
the race Sam paid no attention to this,
but started with the rest, and it soon be
came apparent that he was not such a
fool as they took him to be. Ho was
among tho foremost in two minutes, and
at tho end of the race "that awful ugly
horso was pronounced clearly and une
quivocally the victor.
Sam coolly received his doubloons back
again, and put them in his belt, together
with the planter's check for $10,000,
which was afterwards duly honored.
He offered to bet on other horses, but
there were no takers. For this however
he was compensated by the most liberal
offers for his horso. Five hundred dol
lars, a thousand, fifteen hundred, two
thousand, were bid for him. This last
figure being tho highest offered, he accep
ted it.
On his return to tho brig, Sam learned
that no one of tho crew but himself had
becu at the races. As snnn na 1m
mm aw VUUI i
on board the usual bantering bean.
"Well, bam, said the cook, "how
about that venture ?"
" I guess it will do," replied 'Sam.
" Is that awful
said the second mate.
"Shouldn't wonder if he was," said
Sam.
" You don't sav so. TTnw ,i;,i
J VII U1U
he fetch ?" said the second mate.
" Gtuess replied Sam.
"Twenty dollars."
" More than that. Guess aain."
" Fifty."
" More than that. Guess again."
" A hundred."
"Oh, it's no use your guessing. That
awful utrlv boss broiio-nt twn tl.nncnnri T
won on him at the races. So you fellows
uunur siiui up and say no more about
Sam Varney's venture."
And they did shut up. Sam on tho
passasre home, was tmntod with mii-.i
ii - v iuui nvu
attention. Tho worst that was said of
mm among the sailors was, " Cute fellow
that Sam j his eye tooth is cut."
Sam went to sea no more. He pur
chased a farm in tho Green Mountain
State, married a rosy check Green Moun
tain girl and had many sous and daugh
ters. A Donation Tarty.
UP IN PENNSYLVANIA there is a
Presbyterian clergyman whoso nom
inal salary is four hundred and fifty dol
lars a year. But as it was six months in
arrears, the congregation determined to
give him a " donation party" to help him
along. It came off tho donation party
did. The entire flock was on hand, but
the presents that were brought were only
six rolling pius, a pen wiper, and a quar
ter of a peck of dried apples, crop of
18G4 ! The minister of course had to
furnish refreshments, and the company
not only destroyed four hams, three-and-a
half pounds of sixty cent butter, and
thirteen loaves of bread, but they ate up
two pounds of sugar and all tho next
winter's preserves. ' To crown all, four
spoons were missing. The clergyman says
he wants to have just one more donation
party, and then ho will close up his busi
ness and begin life over again as champi
on pauper at the Almshouse. He is par
ticularly down on one sister who jammed
herself full of ham and preserves, and
enough other succulent diet to keep
tho whole family for a week, and then
laid up against tho wall pretending to feel
religious, and singing " There is rest for
the weary." lie is willing to accept bets
that she will never weary while there is
any grub around this sister won't. He
would like too feed her for a month on
those rolliug-pins and tho pen-wiper just
out of revenge. Despatch.
Singular Ornament.
AJSKOOrH worn by tho Countosa of
K ban recently bpin thn
ject.
puny
exile;
brill;:
I' con vi-r.t ion in an eminent com
l' pnlislioil nobility who are now
in Paris. Encircled by twenty
lit UlKUl a diU'k'bluo ornnn fln-
islazi.'i ; and protected by a glass in front,
may 'e f-.-.imi what? A portrait? A
lock of hair? No, neither tho one nor
the nihorj but only four bent pins, which
arc wrought together in form of a star.
The lii-toi y ol' this singular ornament is
contained in t ho following communica
tion :
'I he ('omit iv was some years ago,
in his owii country, suspected of being
too much inclined to politics, and was
consequently one night, without examina
tion or I u i t her inquiry torn from the bo
som of bin f
veyed to a fortress in a distant part of
uuuuiry, unci tnrown into a damp,
dark dungeon. Days, weeks, and months
passed away without his beino- hrmirrht.
to trial. The unhappy man saw himself
,uuu " every succor. In the stillness
of death and darkness of the grave, he
felt not only his strength failing hitn.but
also his mind wandering. An unspeaka
ble anguish took hold upon him. He
who feared not to appear before his judg
es, now trembled before himself. Con
scious of his danger, he endeavored to
find something to relieve himself from
the double misery idleness aud loneliness,
and thus preserve him from a terrible in
sanity. Four pins, which accidentally happen
ed to be in his coat, had fortunately es
caped tho notice of liis jailor. Those
were to be the means ot dolivcranco to
his spirit. He threw tho pins upon the
earth, which alone was the floor of his
gloomy dungeon, and then employed
himself in seeking for them in the dark
ness. When, after a tiresome search, ho
succcded in finding them he threw them
down anew ; and so, again and again, did
he renew his voluntary task. All the day
long, sitting lying, or kneeling, ho groped
about with his hand until ho found the
pins which ho had intentionally scattered.
This fearful, yet beneficial recreation con
tinued for six years. Then, at last, a
great political event opened suddenly the
doors of his prison. The Count had just
scattered his pins, but he would, not leave
his cell without taking with him his little
instruments of his own preservation from
despair and madness. He soon found
them, for now tho clear bright light of
day beamed in through the doorway of
his dungeon. As the Count related this
sad story to tho Countess; she seized the
pius with holy eagerness. Thoso crook
ed yellow brass pins, which during six
fearful years, had been scattered and
gathered alternately, were become to her
as precious relics; and now set in a, frame
of brilliants, worth 100, as a treasure of
much greater value, she wears them on
her bosom.
A Ministerial Anecdote.
OLD PARSON B , who presided
over a little flock in one of the back
towns of the State of M , was
without any exception, the most eccen
trio divine we ever knew. His eccen
tricities were carried as far in tho pulpit
as cut of it. An instance we will relate :
Among his church members was one
who invariably made a practice of leave
ing the church ere the parson was two
thirds through with his sermon. This
was practiced so long that after a while
it became a matter of course, and no one
save the divine seemed to take notico of
it. And ho at length notified brother P.
that such a thing must, he felt assured,
bo needless, but P. said that at that hour
his family needed his services at home,
and he must do it ; nevertheless, on leav
ing church ho went a roundabout course
which by some mysterious means, al
ways brought him in closo proximity
with the village tavern, which he would
enter "and thereby hangs a talo."
Parson B. ascertained from some sourco
that P.'s object in leaving church was to
obtain a " dram." and ho rlntorminoil rt
stop his leaving and disturbing tho con
gregation in luture, it such a thing were
possible.
Tho next Sabbath brother P, loft his
seat at tho usual timo, and started for the
door when Parson B. exclaimed :
" Brother P. 1"
P., on being thus addressed, stopped
short and gazed toward the pulpit.
" Brother P.," continued the Parson,
there is no need of you leaving at this
time ; as I passed the tavern this morn
ing, I made arrangements with tho land
lord to keep your toddy hot till church
waa out."
A Mad Husband.
Tho Detroit Free Prcs relates a clev
er incident which occurred on tho return
of an excursion party from a city, not a
thousand miles from that place. Soon
after the boat left Toledo tho steward was
approached by an excited individual, who
asked him if ho was tho captain. Tho
steward replied in tho negative, at tho
same timo giving hia rank.
" Have you tho power to put a man
out of the cabin ?" inquired the stranger.
" Well, yes, if he's disorderly I have,"
replied the steward.
" Well, sir, look in here, and see there,
will you," said tho stranger, leading tho
official around to the door. Tho steward
looked in upon the motley group, and re
plied that ho saw nothing ouf of tho way.
" You don't, eh ? Don't you see that
man?"
"Well, yes," replied the steward,
" but what of that ? Hasn't a fellow a
right to embrace his wife ?"
" That's just what I want you to run
him out for," replied the stranger, dan
cing around, " that's my wife, and I've
stood it so long that I've got mad!"
Computing Interest.
We give a new rule for computing in
terest, and it is so simple that every bank
er, broker, merchant or clerk should post
it up for reference. There being no such
thing as a fraction in it, there is scarcely
any liability to error or mistake. By
no other arithmetical process can the de
sired information be obtained by so few
figures.
Six per cent. Multiply any given
number of dollars by the number of days
of interest desired and divide by sixty.
The result is the true interest on such
sum for such number of days at six per
cent. Eight per cent. Multiply any given
amount by the number of days upon
which it is desired to ascertain the inter
est and divide by forty-five, and tho N re
sult will be the interest of such for the
time required at eight per cent.
Ten per cent. Multiply the same as
above and divide by thirty-six, and tho
result will show the rate of interest at
ten per cent.
J6 As a minister and a lawyer were
riding together, said the minister to the
lawyer :
" Sir, do you ever make mistakes in
pleading ?"
" I do," said tho lawyer.
" And what do you do with the mis
takes ?" inquired the minister.
" Why, sir, if large ones, I mend them :
if small ones, I let them go," said tho
lawyer. " And pray, sir," continued he
" do you ever make mistakes in preach
ing?" " Yes sir I have."
" And what do you do with mis
takes ?"
" Why, sir I dispose of them in the
same manner you do I rectify the large
ones, and pass the small ones. Not long
since," ho continued, " as I was preach"
ing, I meant to observe that the devil was
the father of liars, but mado a mistake
and said tho father of lawyers. The mis
take was so small that I let it go."
BSaT'A short timo ago in Delaware
county, a Quaker lady, a maiden who had
reached the age of sixty, accepted the
offer of a man who belonged to the
"world's people" and the Presbyterian
church, and began to prepare for her
wedding. As usual, a delegation of
Friends from her meeting waited on her
and remonstrated with hor for marrying
out of meeting. The bride elect heard
tho visitors patiently, and then said :
" Look hero I I've been waiting just
sixty years for the meeting to marry me ;
and if the meeting don't like mo to mar
ry out of it, wJiy don't the meeting hring
along its hoys?" That was conclusive,
and the delegation merely " replied Fare
well !" and vanished.
A Mr. Hart, who died a fewdavs airo
in St. Louis is reported to havo been worth
throo hundred thousand dollars, all mado
in tho oystor trade. Fiftoeu years airo ho
" CJ
begjjn trade by purchasing two cans of
oysters on credit. '
tW Among tho consus returns for tho
Burkesvillo procinct, Cumberland couuty,
Ky., is tho name of Jack Cornet, a whito
man, a native of Virginia, represented to
ha 118 years old.
There are few mortals so insonsiblo
that thoir affections cannot be gained by
mildness, their confidence by sincerity, their
hatred by scorn or neglect.