7 Philadelphia Advertisements. Philadelphia Advertisements. Philadelphia Advertisements. Philadelphia Advertisements. HUMOROUS ITEMS. l)c mco, Nero Bloomfiew, fJa. BOOKSELLERS & STATIONERS. MILLER & ELDER, Sooksellers and Stationers, BLANK BOOK MANUFACTURERS, And Dealers In WINDOW CURTAINS AND WALK. 1A1JSI6, No. 430, Market Street, 31 PHILADELPHIA, PA. CHARLES MAGARGE & CO., Wholesale Dealers In Nos. 30, 32, and 34, South Sixth Street, PHILADELPHIA, PA. Taper any Size, Weight, Color and Quality, tue to order, at short notice. lulyll SOWER, BARNES & POTTS, Sookscllers & Stationers, And Dealers in VURTAIN AND WALL-PAPERS, Nos. 530 Market and 523 Minor Streets, PHILADELPHIA, PA. . Publishers of Sanders' New Readers, and looks- aih nineties. Also, KoDert's History of a United States, Feltou's Uutlino Maps, &c. Always on hand, and made to Order. 31t KiOt'IIJIAX'ft) lHIIIS FLUID Is warranted EQITAT. in AiiNmiVa I and is sold at iniieii less priee. The money in uc iciuiiucu ui uiose uuying it, u it, uoes not ove entirely satisfactory. For sale by F. Mortimer, New Bloonilield. MILLER & ELDER, Sole Agents, 431) Market Street. 031 rhiladelohla. Glass and Queenstvare. L. Kaud. j, e. Fueymihe. KAI It & FKYMIRK, IMPOIITEHS AND JOBBERS OF p li i li it , O 1 a & s AND QUEENSWA11E, 1 and 303, Cherry St., between ArcU & Race, PHILADELPHIA. 'D" Constantly on hand, Original Assorted ickasoB. fit. 0.1 v 10 MISCELLANEOU tlmps j PUMPS ! FOB PUKE WATEB, USK THE CELEH11ATED CUClHIBIISIt PUMP Made of wild Cucumber wood, en tirely tnsMM, iluraUe and reltaJtln ; the good old-fashioned wooden pu nip, iikuio u.y niuriiiiii'i y, aim liicreioie perfect and insulate in all lis parts. .-; iuiiiik an ciu.u hiiioiiui. oi water, wmai W costing less than half the money. WVM J-'ny arranged ho as to bo uoii- iW SJOTM "rciiiiK, ami 111 construction sosim ' 'i' li 'l'l J-! I'le that o ni o?i can yut it vp and ;Cf i i 8 keep it in repair. After thorough ;'.!!' Svi '-if trial it Is acknowledged the a$A Best and c,ieaPest- Manufautuuer. its. Office and Ware-room, .won. oz aim vtm ruoeri Htreet, 5C1I161 i Ptlll.ADKI.l'HIA PA These Pumps can be ordered of the Manu- 9t.urr t,r W M,.,- I....... jt. K...r lil.i..,ti..i.i ESXEY'S Cottag-o Org-niis, BEAT INDUCEMENTS offered tn Churches U" and Sunday Schools. Organs and Melodeons sum on mommy instalments. iL M. BltUCE, No. lit North Seventh M llUt PHILADELPHIA. DRUGS, MEDICINES AND PAINTS. John Lucas & Co., Bole and THE ONLY MANUFACTUKEKS OF THE IMPERIAL FRENCH, PURE SWISS GREEN, Also, Pure While ILesul and Color MAN UFA CTURERS, Nos, 141 and 143 North Fourth St., Philadelphia. SIDDALL & MARKLEY, "Wholesale Druggists AND DEALERS IN Patent Medicines, 119 JIAIiKET STREET, NEAR FRONT, Philadelphia, Pa. FULL STOCK of everthlng connected with i V the business, of the best quality, and at very low prices. A good location for business, with a ow rent and light expenses, enables us to oiler in ducements to buyers, and makes it worth their while to give us a trial. Philadelphia, 3. 8tf. SAVES I,ABSOl ! Saves Time ! SAVES 3IOXI2Y! AIN1UG1IT & CO'S Labor-Saving Soap Will be found the best In use. With this Soap washing may be done with half the labor required when any other is used, and the saving in wear to clothes is really astonishing. It will cost only Fif teen Cents to try it, and after that you will use no other. 3- For sale by all Grocers, and by F. Mortimer, New Dloomlleld, Pa. 317 Worth its Weight in Gold! T HIS Is what everybody who lias used It says of . XESMITII'S IJXIMKXT. For lthcumatle Pains It will give Instant reliof and ellecta permanent cure in a short tune. It is also too best remedy in the World for Cuts, Sprains, Bruises and Burns, and not only giving prompt relief from pain, but heals without leaving any sear. All who liavo tried it, say no family should be without It, for It is worth its weight in gold. Try a bottle of it ! No cure. No Pay. 317 iU For Bale al F. Mortimer's. PENNSYLVANIA ELASTIC SPONGE CO. No. 1111 CHESTNUT STKEET PHILADELPHIA. ELASTIC SPONCE, A Substitute for Curled Hair, FOB ALL UFHOLSTEBY PUBPOSES. Itls cheaper than feathers or hath, and much superior, being the lightest softest and most elastic material known FOB MATTBESSES. PILLOWS, CABEIAGE, CAB, AND CHAIIt CUSHIONS. Itlslndestriictable.fi ee from dust, perfectly clean and for i lie sick is uuequalcd.as If soiled it is easily cleaned. IT DOES NOT PACK And is entirely free from Molh .Teriion are requested to examine the Cushion ajionge at the ojtce oj the company, Feb 8tf -No. 1111 CHESTNUT STEEET, Hardware, die. LL0D, SUPPLEE, & V ALTON, WHOLESALE HARDWARE HOUSE, No. 625 Market Street, Philadelphia. DRY GOODS HOSIERY & NOTIONS John Shaffner, Jr. E. 8. Ziegler. Theo. Bumcl SHAFFNER, ZIEGLER & CO., Successors to 8HAFFNEB, ZIEGLEB & CO., Importers and Dealers In Hosiery, Gloves, Ilibboiis, Suspenders, THREADS, COMBS, and every variety of TRIMMINGS AND FANCY GOODS, No. 36, North Fourth Street, PHILADELPHIA, PA. Agents for Lancaster Combs. BARCROFT & CO., Importers and Jobbers Of Staple and Fancy, DRY - GOODS, Cloths, Cassimeres, - Blankets, Linens, White Goods, Hosiery, &c., Nos. 405 and 407 MABKET STEEET, (Above Fourth, North Side,) Philadelphia. Boots, Shoes, Hats and Caps. F. D. Miller. T. Eickert, C. II. Miller. MILLER, EICKERT & CO., SUCCESSORS TO GBAYIULL & NEWCOMEB, Manufacturers and Wholesale Dealers In HATS, CAPS, FURS, STJBtAW-ttOODS, &c.9 No. 343 North Third Street, 2d Floor, PHILADELPHIA. 4 11 ly 10 W. F. KOIIEEll, JOBBER IN Hats, Caps, Furs, .AND Stra av - Gr o I ss 153 NORTH THIRD STREET, 8 9 ly 10 PHILADELPHIA. W. W. Paul. D. J. Hoar. JI. L. Hood. A. Trimble. WM. W. PAUL & CO. WHOLESALE BOOT AND SHOE WAREHOUSE, C33 Market St. and Cli Commerce Street, Philadelphia, Penn'a. MISCELLANEOUS. gBADBUBV'S AND OTHER PIANOS. jaylor Farley't and E. P. Needham dt Son's ORGANS AND MELODEONS. Will: O. FISCHER, General Whole-salt Ayent, 1018 Arch Street and 21 North Eleventh btrect 3 42 0m. PHILADELPHIA "The Red Horse Powders" T HE BEST FOWDEBS In tht World for HORSES, CATTLE, IIOGS, OR POULTRY. Thev will not OinVnrevent. but will Cure diseases. and are the Cheapest, as well as the best Horse l'owderg in use. Try them. For sale by Stores and priiBBists generally, and by F. Mohtimek, New Bloomileldi Fa. 335tf TOBACCO SECARS &C. W. D. METCALFE, WITH James Jlussel & Co., Wholesale Dealers in Tobacco and Cigars, No. 11, South Front Street, Philadelphia. S- Agents for Celebrated Star Navy. 4 221y TnoMAS Rodb. A. J. McConkey. ROBB & McCONKEY, Commission Merchants, Anil Wholesale Dealers in LEAF AND MANUFACT UBED T08kCC0S,$ECARS,C, No. 13 North Fifth Street, (Between Market and Arch,) PHILADELPHIA. PA. 10'lltf A. B. Cunningham. J. H. Lcwars. J. S.Glcim. Cunningham, Gleim & Co., Wholesale Dealeiis in Tobacco, Segars, &c, NO. 4, NORTH FIFTH STEEET, PIIIIjADISLPIIIA. S2310 CROCERIES AND PROVISIONS. Wholesale Dealers in PISH, Clicesc AND DPjrovisioiis, 114 South Delaware Avenne, Below Chestnnt St., PHILADELPHIA, PA. Agents for Collins, Ucddcti & C'o's Canned Fruits. 104111 S. 16. TAYLOR, with WAINWRIGHT & CO. WHOLESALE GROCERS AND TEA DEALERS, North East Comer of 2nd and Arch Street?, Philadelphia Pa W. A. Atwood. Isaac W. Kanck. ATWOOD, ItANCK & CO., Commission Merchants, AND Wholesale Dealers in all kinds of FIckled and Sal IT- I S II , No. 210 North Wharves, above Bace Street, 3 40 6m6 PHILADELPHIA, PA. PATTERSON & NEZWLIN, Wholesale firocers, AND COMMISSION MERCHANTS No. 120 ABCH STREET, Philadelphia. W The sale of Eggs, Seeds, Grain and Wool, a specialty. - Flense send for a Circular. 4 138 WHOLESALE &TT7 GROCERS January 1, I860. JBSr Anna Story was recently married to ltobert Short. A very pleasant way of making a Story short. Vill you dako sumdinor?" said a Dutch teo-totalcr to a friend, while standing near a tavern. " 1 don't care if I do," was the reply. " Veil, den let's duke a valk. KSf A sailor looking serious in a chap el, was asked by the clergyman if he felt any change, whereupon the tar put his hand into his pocket and replied that he hadn't got a cent." JJfciy A Baltimore Dancr savs that a young lady was recently discharged from une oi me largest picnie lactones in that city, because she was so sweet she took the acid out of all the vinegar. SSf A sporting young lady says : " if the course of true love does never run smooth, why don't they wuter it and roll it regularly so many hours a day, until they get the course so smooth that any monkey can run upon it?" USF A woman applied to a magistrate for a summons ugainst a neighbor. " She called me a thief your worship. Can't I make her prove it ?" " No doubt you could," said the magistrate, " but I think you had better not." CSy At a recent assizes in Ireland, the foreman of the jury, placing his hand on his heart, and with a voice choked with emotion, gave in the following verdict: " The accused is guilty, but we have our doubts as to the identity." JJ Host (who had just finished car ving a turkey) : " Will you have a small piece of the dark meat, or a small pieco of the white 'meat?" Hungry guest who is addicted to the habit of plain speaking" Thank you: I'll take a Jar ge piece of both ! BST After the Dance Charles; " Tell me, Laura, why that sadness ? Tell me why that look of care? Why has fled that look of gladness that thy face was wont to wear ?" Laura : " Charles, 'tis useless to dissemble ; well my face may wear a frown, for I've lost my largest hair-pin, and my chignon's coming down. Parson, I would much rather hear you preach," said a baffled, swindling horse jockey, " than to see you interfere in bargains between man and man." " Well," replied the parson, " if you had been where you ought to have been, last Sunday, you would have heard me preach." " Where was that ?" inquired the jockey. " In the State Prison," re turned the clergyman. A countryman stopped atthe Max well House, Nashville, for dinner. " The waiter inquired what he would have, and was told by the countryman to bring " something of what ho had." The waiter brought him a regular dinner upon small dishes, as is the usual form, and set them around his plate. The couutry man surveyed them carefully for a mo ment, and then broke out, " Well, J like your samples, now bring my dinner." B Two ways OF telling it. Jen kins says: " The profusion and color of her hair would lead one to look upon it as though it was spun by the nimble fingers of the easy hours as they glided through bright June days, whose sunny rays of light had been caught, in the meshes and were content to gono farther." Joe Bowers expresses the same thing by saying, " her hair was awful red." JH " If you do not close that window waiter, I shall die from the draught," said a lady at dinner. "And if you do closo it, I shall die from the heat in this hot weather !" ex claimed a stouter fair lady. Then there was a giggle among the guests over the dilemma of the waiter, when a literary gentleman present said " My good fellow, your duty is clear ; close the window and kill one lady, aud open it again and kill the other lady." J6p We have tidings from Boston of a clergyman of Massachusetts who, on exchange, preached in a brother's pulpit. Taking a note which he found when he opened the Bible, he read that Brother . requested the prayers of the Church that the loss of his wife might be blessed to him, etc. The preacher prayed most fervently. To his amazement and mor tification he found afterwards that the note had lain in the Bible a year, while the bereaved gentleman was on this Sab bath sitting with a new wife in the congregation. J