The Bloomfield times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, July 12, 1870, Page 3, Image 3

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    toftiatl fclttti0tis.
PRAYERS I DON'T LIKE.
I do not like to hear blm pray
Vho loans at twenty-five per cent,
1'Wthcn I think the borrower may
Be pressed to pay for food or rent,
And In thut book we ail should heed,
Which says the lender shull be blest,
As sure as I havo eyes to read
It does not say " take Interest."
I do not like to hear him pray
On bended knees about an hour,
For gruce to spend aright the day.
Who knows his neighbor has no flour,
I'd rather see him go to mill
And buy the luckless brother bread,
And see his children cut their nil,
And laugh beneath their humble shed
I do not like to hear him pray,
" Let blessings on the widow be,"
Who never seeks her home to say,
" If want overtakes you come to me."
I hate the prayer, so loud and long,
That's offered for the orphan's weal,
By him who sees him crushed by wrong,
And only with the lips doth fuel.
I do not like to hear him pray,
With jewelled ear and silken dress,
Whose washerwoman toils all day
And then is asked "to work for less."
Such pious shavers I despise ;
With folded hands and face demure,
They lilt to heaven their "angel eyes,"
Then steal the earnings of the poor.
I do not like such soulless prayers;
If wrong, I hope to be forgiven ;
No angel wing them upward bears
They're lost a hundred miles fromheuven.
A HORSE STORY.
During the early settlement of Wiscon
sin or the wilderness part of it, ut least
I was frequently employed by corre
spondents from abroad to search out cer
tain sections of land and report as to
their value, timber, quality of soil, etc.
In discharging this duty, I usually went
on horseback, using a favorite old fami
ly horse. To find the particular section
described. I would first find a surveyor's
" blazed line," and follow it up uutil I
found a ' corner post," where I would
find the " corner tree" marked with the
number of the township, range and sec
tion of w hich the post was the boundary;
then, by a glance at the map, I could tell
at ouce the distance and direction of the
section I was in search of, and would fol
low the blazed lines accordingly. On one
occasion a dismal, foggy day, I had gone a
longer distance from home than usual,and
into a part of the wilderness, strange
to me. After making the survey, the
fog came on so very thick that I dare not
take my usual course of returning by a
direct route, without regard to the angles
of the surveyor, but started on a blazed
line leading nearest tp the required di
rection. Before going far, I came to a
bog or marsh, which was impassable on
horseback, and I was forced to go round
it. After I had got on the opposite side,
I could not find the line again, and, after
eearching some little time, I gave it up,
aud threw the reins upon the neck of the
horse and bade him go home; preferrin"
to trust to his instinct to find the way,
rather than to my own judgment as to
the proper direction to be taken. We
had not gone many rods before I noticed
the blazed trees for which I had been
looking, and my curiosity was at once ex
cited to know whether the horse really
noticed the faint marks on the trees, and
was guided by them. Accordingly I left
the reins perfectly free, aud was soon sat
isfied beyond a doubt that such was the
fact, for on coming to a fallen tree or oth
er obstruction he would go round it, re
turn to the line, and follow it without
mistake, iu fact he seemed to find the line
more readily than I could myself. After
ward, I tested him time and again. It
made no difference whether the direction
was to or from home. Once start him on
a surveyor's line, and he would follow it
unerringly. If the direction was from
home, ou coming to a corner post, he
would make a stop as if to inquire wheth
er to keep stiaight, or turn to the right
or left This was only one of many
traita displayed by him. But notwith
standing the old fellow was so docile and
knowing, I could never persuade him to
let me shoot game from his back ; and
after a few attempts, I was forced to give
it up. He would not even let me mount
him with a gun in my hand, or allow it
to be handed to mo after I had mounted.
He appeared to have a horror for fire
arms, perhaps he had noticed the result
of their use on the game, and was afraid
of some time getting a shot himself. With
another horse I tried an experiment that
I should never havo thought of except for
the intelligence, if not reasoning power,
displayed by an old favorite.
I had bought a horse in Milwaukee a
jet black, uud perfect beauty of a horse,
which was said to have been caught from
a drove of wild horses on the Texas pra
ries. He was gentle and docile enough
while in hand, but once let loose there
was no such thing as catching him again
by any one of the ordinary means used
iu catching horses. In fact, the man
from whrtm I purchased him, after cha
sing him, for several days from his
livery stable, had been obliged at last
to " crease him," in order to catch
him, t. e. to shoot him through the top
of the neck, just above the neck-bone,
temporarily paralyzing him, without do
ing him permanent injury. This, to be
successfully performed, requires a good
marksman ; for if the ball struck an inch
too low it would be fatal. After I had been
his owner some six or eight months, he
got loose iu the fall of the year and
took to the woods near by. I used to
see him often but he would never let
me approach anywhere near him. After
snow fell in the winter, and feed became
scarce in the woods, he could occasional
ly be seen in the eveniug near the stable,
and I used to leave the door open until
bed time, and sometimes as late as two
o'clock at night, and place a measure of
salt and oats within a tempting distance
inside the stable, in hopes that ho would
go in, but he was not to be entrapped in
that way. At last I began to cast about
for the reason why he would not venture
to enter the stable while the door stood
invitingly open and no person in sight,
and I came to the conclusion that the
horse reasoned after this manner: "As
long as the lights are burning in the
house, pcoplo are stirring about, and I
am liable to surprise, after the lights are
out, thero is no more stir for the night,
and if the door was left open, I might
venture in with safety." Taking for gran
ted that I had solved the problem cor
rectly, I laid my plans accordingly. At
taching one end of a rope to the handle
of the stable door, I passed the other end
through the window of the house, which
commanded a view of the situation, and
at the usual hour for retiring, I had the
lights put out, and everything kept quiet;
the result was, as I had hoped, rather
than expected. The lights had not been
out more than ten or fifteen minutes, be
fore the horse cautiously approached and
entered the stable. The trap was sprung
and we had him safe. How this affected
his reasoning faculties I can't tell, but he
must evidently have considered himself
taken in. That the horse would not have
gone into the stables, had the lights been
left burning, I don't pretend to say ; I
give the facts as they occurred. But I
am satisfied, from more than thirty years'
close observation, that the horse observes
and makes a (mental) note of a great
deal more than is generally supposed.
A Dutchman on the Weather.
Mine goothess gracious,vot a varm ved
der spell dat ish ; I can't hardly stand
niit dat varm heat. I vas almost poiled
alive niit inine own berspiration. I never
see such a hot vedder like dat is for de
bast few tays, ever since a goot vhile ago.
Vhich ever vay I durns, or votever I do
dat makes der steam raise outer mine
pody, so dat I feels shust like a steam eti
shiue poiler. Some dime farder pack
dar ish a grate teal of dulkcn over dat
Nie Shersey steam man maybo you
hear somedings of dat; veil, dat's nod
ings along side of mo, for ven 1 gets a
gouple classes of peer unter mine linen
tusder vestgoat, und mine swotting te
bartment ish in running orter, 1 vould
purst the poiler of any iron-made man
pefore he could puff and blow out more
steam ash me ven dat varm vedder vas
Dat berspiration vater runs outer mine
pody, und pours town mine legs, und
setdles'in mine dree tollar poots so dat I
ish always got vet feets. I pelieve it dat
pefore dis varm hot vedder ish over I vill
catchen mine toath of gold shust from
dat dings alone. Nopody can po a healthy
man mit vet feeta, 1 know dat. Last
Montag, I dells you, ish a varm tay. I
dinks anypody must find dat out. If
dhey didn't vhy I did, und I vasn't so
awful long over dat too.
HtF A poor fellow was brought beforo
one of the police justices recently, charg
ed with being intoxicated. " Well, why
did you get drunk and come here in
this condition ?" "See here." was the
reply, uttered in a hiccough and accent
of a drunken man " what do you give
license for?"
l)c timco, Kciu Bloomficfo, M. ,
- A Ten Dollar Dog.
A COON fight is one of the glories
of life in Kentucky. The pro
gramme is this : Some one announces to
the gentlemen planters of an extended
neighborhood that he will give a barbe
cue and coon fight on a certain day, at
such a place, and they are invited to
bring themselves, their friends and their
dogs, for his coon is a veteran, and will
make a big fight. This brings a largo
gathering of men and dogs to enjoy the
feast and the fight. The coon is placed
in a barrel with one head out, laid flat
so that he cannot be taken on the flank
or rear, and the dog that brings out the
coon and it takes one of pluck to do
that wins the bet.
On the occasion to be described, a
largo party assembled with numerous fine
dogs, eager for tho fray. . The sport be
gan but every dog of the party was
whipped out by the sharp teeth and claws
of the gallaut coon. As a matter of
course there was a clamorand some tough
swearing at the result. There was a
seedy Yankeo present, looking on with a
grin of delight, as each defeated dog
gave up the battle. He had with him
a miserable yellow cur, which went
sneaking about with its tail between its
legs, snapping and shying at every dog
that offered tokens of friendly introduc
tion. In tho midst of the uproar, the Yankee
quietly remarked
" Wal, gentlemen, I think I have got
a dog that will bring 'eout that 'ere
coon."
" Where is he ? Where is he ? Bring
him out," shouted a score of witnesses.
" There he is 1" pointing to the misera
ble cur.
There was a general laugh, and imme
diate offers of bets in any quantity.
" Wal, gentlemen, I hain't got much
money, but here's my watch and three
dollars. That 'ere watch is a leetle old,
but its an all-fired nice timekeeper."
" I'll bet you ten dollars against your
watch and the money."
" Wal, I guess that's about fair : I'll do
it."
After a great deal of coaxing and pul
ling, tho mongrel was hauled close to the
mouth of the barrel. Tho Yankee, after
patting and calling his dog pet names
or a minute or two suddenly seized nun,
and thrust him into the barrel, stem first.
The next instant, with an agonized yelp,
out came the dog and out camethecoon
too fastened by tooth and claw to the
haunches of the fleeing dog. The screams
that lollowed may not be described.
" I guess I'll take that 'ere money and
watch," quietly remarked Mr. Yankee,
and he took them.
The loser with a scowl, by way of self
comtort, observed
" I reckon your dog is spoiled."
" Wal yes guess he's a leetle dam
aged : but I never reckoned him worth
Uior'n ten dollars.
Novel Cures for Sleeping in Meeting.
A STORY has been told of a good,
natured simpleton, who, after hear
ing his minister reprove the drowsy ones
iu his congregation, concluded to make
himself useful by applying a remedy of
ms own contrivance, bo when he went
to meeting the next time he took some
chestnuts in his pocket, and when a bald
headed brother who sat near him began
to nod, he threw one at his head, very
much to the annoyance of the minister
who paused aud looked very imploringly
at him, to whom the simpleton responded
very officiously, " You mind your preach
ing; I'll keep him awake."
I will not vouch for the truth of this
story, but one well authenticated, and
very similar to this, was recently related
by an eye-witness. , In a country town
containing a Baptist Church, there lived a
brother who was in the habit of sleep
ing so hard in meeting as to disturb the
congregation. There lived also in the same
place a crazy woman who had not been
allowed to go to church for many years.
As she seemed very anxious to attend
once more, the Elder prevailed on her
friends to let her go, at the same time
vouching for her- good behavior. She
sat in front of the sleeping brothor, whose
nasal organs were becoming unpleasantly
active till she could endure it no longer.
So, rising suddenly from her seat, Bho
seized a hymn book and hurled it at the
disturber of her contemplations, saying to
the Elder, who looked reprovingly at her
from the pulpit, " Go on, Elder, go on ; I
will take care of the sleepy ones." Her
friends eluded her afterwards for her
unceremonious conduct. But when she
appealed to the Elder, whom she said the
sleepor was insulting while he was preach-
nig iu mm, tuu juiuur Tiuuicaicu ner con
duct as right, very much to her gratifica
tion. The brother who was the object of
her rage remarked afterward that the
crazy woman had cured him of his bad
habit ; " for," said he, " when I begin to
feel drowsy, the thought of that hymn
book about my head banishes all of mv
sleepy inclinations." Crazy people are
apt to enjoy themselves in making them
selves uselul in some such way as this.
An old preventive ot drowsnrcss was a
pinch of snuff. But it has been suggest
ed, as more in accordance with the pro
prieties of the present age, to put the
snuff into the sermon.
Mother is Dead.
64 "lYJOTIIFIl IS DEAD!" What a
-LYI volumo of thought do these
sad words express. What pen can bring
tortli the agony of mind when this sad
truth is realized. The heart shrinks
back, and denies to intruding expression
a knowledge of its inward woes.
The imagination of another fails to
picture them, and when we ourselves, who
have sustained this loss.turn our eyes in
ward for a moment to glance at the naked
reality, we are wont to disbelieve it and
repel the overflowing flood . of sorrow
which ever and anon, like an ocean flows
to and fro upon our hearts,until exhausted
we sink into lethargy, from which when
we awaken, it seems as if we ourselves
had passed in another world, in which
everything seems tinged with an unnatural
gloom. It is sad, it is very sad to know
that mother is no more.
The sun will shine, the birds will sing,
tho flowers will bloom in seeming mock
cry, the same as before but thero is a
void in the lannly her seat is vacant ;
and as we gather around the family hearth
then we seem to deny the truth to our
selves, and listen as tho' we heard her
coining footsteps. But alas ! she comes
not. Mother is dead ! Awav from our
home have they laid her iu the cold ground'
the clammy dew-damp of death ipon her
brow. She is shut out of our sight for
ever forever ! No, not forever; the light
of heaven flings a brilliant' hope over our
sorrow, with its aid we penetrate the dark
est clouds of grief, and look forward to
the bright future with His aid. Death
is not death ; it has not the sting the
world would have us think. It is but
the transfer of the soul from this, its
trausitory home, to eternal bliss ; it is but
the passage of the storm which leaves
the rainbow of hope to cheer its blighted
subjects.
We love to linger around mother's
grave, and muse upon the happy past,
when she was with us. We love to think
of the merry Christmas and other holi
days, and although to the semblance of
them is linked the sad truth that they
can never come again although its tears
open new wounds in our hearts, yet we
are willing to suffer these pangs that W3
may keep ever fresh in our memories that
happy past, now forever gone.
If the memory of these partings is
so painful, how important that we should
live in such a manner that we may meet
in heaven never again to know the pain
of separation.
Significance of a Wink.
Smith the auctioneer, is a popular man
a wit and a gentleman. No person is
offended at what he says, and many a
hearty laugh has been provoked by his
sayings, lie was recently engaged in
the sale of venerable household furniture
and fixings, lie had just got to " Going,
going, and a half, going," when he saw
a smiling countenance on agricultural
shoulders wink at him.
'A wink is as good as a nod to a blind
horse or a sharp-sighted auctioneer; so
Smith winked and the man winked, and
Smith kept " Going, going," with a lot
of glass ware, stovepipes, carpets, pots
perfumery, and finally this lot was knock
ed down.
" Who ? Golly !" said the stranger, "I
don't know who.,'
" Why, you, sir !" said Smith.
"Who? Mo?"
"Yes, you bid on tho lot," said
Smith.
" Me ? Hang mo if I did," insisted tho
stranger.
" Why, did you not wink and keep
winking?" asked Smith.
" Winking ! Well, I did, and so did
you at me. I thought you was winking
as much as to say, 'keep dark ; I'll stick
somebody on this lot of stuff;' and I wiuk
ed as much as to say, ' I'll be hanged if
you don't, miste.r
DANKINC HOUSE .
OF
HENRY CLEWS & CO.,
(United States Treasury Buildings)
Xo. 32 Wall Street, X. Y.
rplTF. business of our House In the same, In all
respects, as uiai 01 nn Incorporate Bank.
Checks and Drafts upon us pass through the Clear-
Corporations, Firms, and Individuals kceiUng
Hank Accouii s with us, either in Currency or
fllllil VL'Wl la a twin, I Vlxra Mam i...
..", , . . v-tuu iiiicifHi. per
minum. on all daily balances, and can chock at
wuuui iirreni rendered Mommy.
ihllv TTiuiinit iiuik r. iiiiriri uieuilCil ami AC-
"v me firiiiicu nt nn nines iu imiKe advance
to our Dealers on approved Collaterals, at market
CertMratM of Deposit Issued, payable on de
mand r ilfrai. Hvn.l .!., K 1 "l .1 "a a..
, v., iiai tin it-, irtrmiiig Jiiirrimb ILL lit
current rate, and available in all parts ot the
country. r
collections made promptly everywhere in th
United Ktiltpfl f'Hn-1.1.. 17. i-
and Coupons promptly Collected,
e imy, sen, ana exchange all Issues of Govern
ment Bonds at current market prices.
ami i Exchange, also for State, City, and all other
Special attention Riven to the negotiation of Kail
Road, City, and other Corporate Loans.
We are prepared to take Gold Accounts on terms
the same as for Currency ; to receive Gold on De
posit, bearing Interest and subject to check at
sight; to Issue Gold Certificate of Deposit; to
make Advances in Gold, against currency and
other collaterals, and to afford Bunking facilities
generally upon a Gold Basis. ( 17 lin
Who has a House to raint ?
READY-MADE COLORS,
Known as "RAILROAD" Colors. Guaranteed to
be more economical, more durable and more con
venient than any Taint ever before offered. A
book entitled "Plain Talk with Practical Paint
ers," with samples, sent free bv mail on applica-
J?'V ,.,. MASURY&WHITON.
Globe White Lead and Color Works, 111 Fulton
St., New York. Kstablished 1835. Beware of
imitations. 1 17 3in
WATER WH EELS.
THE
DUPLEX TURBINE.
"KfOT Equaled by any Wheel in existence.
(.',reat economy of water. The only Wheel
suiMilp. to iwtaWe streams. Adapted to all kinds
of Mills. Illustrated Pamphlet with Useful Tables
sent free. J. K. STE V ENSON,
" 3m 83 Liberty St,, N. Y.
X-TOW SHALL WE PAINT OUB HOUSE8,'
XX By J. W. Jfasury, CI.. 220p., $1 5a Free
by mail, on receipt of price, ilasury & Wlilton,
New York. 4 17 3in.
" TXINTS ON HOUSE PAINTING," By J. VT.
, XX Masnry, CI. 4Si).. 40c. Free by mail on re
ceipt of price. MASURY & WII1TON, N. Y. 4173m
14-fi How 1 m!M,e 11 ,n 6 mos.with Stencils.
v,----V Samples mailed free.
H 3m A. J. Fcllam, N. T.
JAMES 33. CLARK,
MANUFACTURER AND DEALER IN
Stoves, Tin and Sheet Iron Ware
New Blooinfleld, Perry co., Pa.,
KEEPS constantly on hand every article usually
kept In a llrst-class establishment.
All the latest styles and most improved
Parlor and Kitchen Stoves,
TO BURN EITHER COAL OR WOOD I
S- Spouting and Roofing put up In the most
durable manner and at reasonable prices. Call
and examine his stock. 3 1
cw Carriage Manufactory,
On High Street, East of Carlisle St.,
New Bloomllcld, Tenn'a.
TnE subscriber has built a large and commodi
ous Shop on High Ht East of Carlisle Htreet,
New Bloomllcld, Fa,, where ho is prepared to man
ufacture to order
Ora i l i ji c s
Of every description, out of the best material.
Sleighs of every Style,
built to order, and finished In the most artistic and
durable manner.
3- Having superior workmen, he Is prepare
to furnish work that will compare favorably with
the best City Work, and much more durable, and
at much more reasonable rates.
-REPAIRING of all kinds neatly and prompt
ly done. A call Is solicited.
SAMUEL SMITH.
31tf
JOTICE TO LAND OWNERS I
After the 12th day of August of this year, (187o
suits will be liable to bo brought In the Court of
Dauphin County for money due on lands in Ferry
County, unpatented.
i.For information relative to the Tatentliuf of
lauds, call on or address
b. H. OALBKAITH,
Attornev-at-Law & County Surveyor.
Bloomlleld, March 8, 1870. tf.
THE WORLD'S WONDER I
Equalizing Oil I
THIS Oil for Rheumotism In utt Its forms,
- (Sprains, Bruises. Cuts, Wounds of all descrip
tions. Cramp, etc., etc., etc.,
IS UNEQUALLED by any now offered to the pub
lic. It is for sale at 50 cents per bottle, by
NORTH E. HOLING ER,
MfTlerstown,
Ferry county, Pa.
and r. MORTIMER ft CO.,
New Blooinfleld, Pa,
Relief given almost lastantly, and permanent
oires etlecUd. 4 IV 3m,