7 Philadelphia Advertisements. ljc moo, New Bloomfklit, pct. Philadelphia Advertisements. DRUCS, MEDICINES AND PAINTS. Philadelphia A drertisemcnts. Philadelphia Advertisements. HUMOROUS ITEMS. BOOKSELLERS &. STATIONERS. MILLER & ELDER, ISookseller. and Stationers, HLAXK HOOK MANUFACTURERS, And Dealers in WINDOW CURTAINS AM) WAI.Ii IAIKIS, No. 430, Market Street, 31 PHILADELPHIA, PA. CHARLES MAGARGE & CO., Wholesale Dealers In I'apcr, isi-H, Nos. 30, 32, and 31, South Sixth Street, PHILADELPHIA, PA. Paper any Size, Weight, Color and Quality, made to order, at short notice. luly-11 SOWER, BARNES & POTTS, ISookselleav & stationers, And Dealers in CURTAIN AND WALL-PAPERS, Nos. 530 Market and 523 Minor Streets, PHILADELPHIA, PA. i- Publishers of Sanders' New Headers, and Brooks' Arithmetic;. Also, Robert's History of the United States, Felton's Outline Maps, &e. BLAXK ISOOKS Always on hand, and made to Order. 31t IKJIUIAX'S Writing- llnid ! THIS FLUID Is warranted KQUAL to AnNOLU's, and is sold at much less price. The money will be refunded to those buying it, if it does not prove entirely satisfactory. SS- For sale by F. Monimer, New Illoomlleld. MILLEli & ELDER, Solo Agents, 430 Market Street, 23031 Philadelphia. Glass and Queensivare. A. L. Kauu J. E. Fkeimire. KAUU & FitYMIKE, Importers and Jobiiers op China, CjJ 1 :i ,s js AND QTJEENSWA11E, 301 and 303, Cherry St., between Arch & Race, PHILADELPHIA. ID" Constantly ou band, Original Assorted Packages. 3. 9. ly 10 MISCELLANEOUS. PUMPS J PUMPS ! FOB PUKE WATER, USE THE CELEBRATED citcijmrizii pump Made of wild Cnomiibcr wood, en. tirely timtPtnu, durtihlo, and reUa'de ; the good old-fashioned wooden iiiiup, made by machinery, and therefore perfect and accurate In all lis parts. jci laislnir an emiai iLiiioont. of w:itir. Xii alul costing less than half the nionev. Easily arranged so as to lie noii VjfA freezing, and In constnietion sosnn i US l),c tllilt an one c put it nit and .-.'.'.I keen it in reixttr. Afti-r llw,mn,.h k -i ii tlial 11 18 acknowledged the U'JM n.-i. i ri j ,;;, oesx ana uneapest. -.-3 tJiaiU.1.3 U. ULATCMI.Kl, JUANUFACTUKEU. J. Ofllce and Ware-room, Nos. 624 and 620 Filbert Rtreet, 416 6m6 . PHILADELPHIA, PA. -These Pumps can be ordered of the Manu acturcr, or V. Mortimer & Co., New llluomlield. ESTEY'S Collude Organs, GREAT INDUCEMENTS offered to Churches and Sunday Schools. Organs and Melodeons for salt on monthly Instalments. K. M. BUUCK, No. 18 North Seventh St., 1M1U PHILADELPHIA. John Lucas & Co., Solo and Til E ONLY MANUFACTURERS OK TIIK IMPERIAL FRENCH, AMD PURE SWISS GREEN, Also, Puro White IiCal and Color MANL'FA CTURERS, Nos, 141 and 143 North Fourth St., Philadelphia. SIDDALL & MARKLEY, Wholesale Druggists, AND DEALERS IN Patent Medicines, 119 MARKET STREET, NEAR FRONT, Philadelphia, Pa. A FULL STOCK of everthlng connected with the business, of the best quality, and at verv low prices. A good location for business, with a ow rent and light expenses, enables us to offer in ducements to buyers, and makes it worth their while to give us a trial. Philadelphia, 3. 8tf. SAVES IjAISOK ! Saves Time ! SAVES MOXEY ! AINRIGHT & CO'S Labor-Saving Soap Will be found the best In use. With this Soap washing may be done with half the labor required when any other is used, and the saving in wear to clothes Is really astonishing. It will cost only Fif teen Cents to try it, and after that you will use no other. 3.For sale by all Grocers, and by F. Mortimer, New Bloomtleld, Pa. 317 Worth its Weight in Gold ! rrUIIS Is what everybody who has used It says of NESMITIPS LLOIEXT. For Rheumatic Pains it will give Instant relief and ellecta permanent cure in a short time. It is also the best remedy in the World for Cuts, Sprains, liniises and Hums, and not only giving prompt relief from pain, but heals without leaving any scar. All who have tried it, say no familv should bo without it, for it is worth its weight In gold. t- Try a bottle of It! No cure, No Pay. 317 .B- For salu at F. Mortimer's, JEXXS1'LVAXIA ELASTIC SPONGE CO. No. 1111 CIIKSTNUT STREET PHILADELPHIA. ELASTIC SPONGE, A Substitute for Curled Hair, FOlt ALL UPHOLSTERY PURPOSES. It Is ohoapor than feathers or hair, and much superior, being the lightest softest and most elastic material known FOlt MATTRESSES. PILLOWS, CARRIAGE, CAR. AND CHAIU CUSHIONS. It Is Indeslruetable.free from dust, perfectly clean and for the sick is uneuualed.as if soiled it iseasily cleaned. IT DOES NOT PACK And is entirely free from Moth Persons are rcvestrd to exnmtna the Cushion sjionte at tie ojjtce oj tie coiiijmhii. Feb 8tf -No. 1111 CHESTNUT STREET, Jlardtvare, Cr. LLOYD, SUPPLEE, & WALTON, WHOLESALE HARDWARE HOUSE, No. 623 Market Street, Philadelphia. DRY GOODS HOSIERY & NOTIONS John Slialtncr, Jr. E. S. Zleglcr. Thco. Runicl SHAFFNEll, ZIEULER & CO., Successors to SHAFFNER, ZIEGLEH & CO., Importers and Dealers In Hosiery, i loves, llitIoiis, Suspenders, THREADS, COMBS, and every variety of TRIMMINGS AND FANCY GOODS, No. 30, North Fourth Street, PHILADELPHIA, PA. Agents for Lancaster Combs. BARCROFT & CO., Importers and Jobbers Of Staple and Fancy DRY - GOODS, Cloths, Cassimcrcs, Blankets, Linens, White Goods, Hosiery, &c., Nos. 405 and 407 MARKET STREET, (Above Fourth, North Side,) Philadelphia. Boots, Shoes, Hats and Caps. . D. Miller. T. Rickert. C. II. Miller. MILLER, RICKERT & CO., SUCCESSORS TO GRAYB1LL & NEWCOMER, Manufacturers and Wholesale Dealers in HATS, CAPS, EURS, STKAW-GOOUS, &c, No. 349 North Third Street, 2d Floor, PHILADELPHIA. 4 11 ly 10 W. F. ItOHLEK, JOBBER IN Hats, Caps, Furs, SS t 1 II AV - Gr oodn 153 NORTH THIRD STREET, 3 9 ly 10 PHILADELPHIA. W. W. Paul. D. J. Hoar. II. L. Hood. A. Trimble. WM. W. PAUL & CO. WHOLESALE BOOT AND SHOE WAREHOUSE, 023 Market St. and C14 Commerce Street, Philadelphia, Penn'a. MISCELLANEOUS. jgRADBURY'S AND OTHER 1 I A 1 O S . jaylor A IWey's and E. P. Needham & Son's ORGANS AND MELODEONS. WAT. O. FISCHER. General MTiolesalo Agent, 1018 Arch Street and 21 North Eleventh Street, 3 42 Oni. PHI LA DEUl'HIA "The Red Horso Powders" AUE HIE PEST POWDERS in the World for HORSES, CATTLE, HOGS, OR POULTRY. Thev will not onlvnrevent. but will Ourndlseases. and are the Cheapest, as well as the best Horse Powders In use. Try them. For sale bv Stores and Druggists generally, and by K. Moktimku, New Bloointleld, Pa. !W5tt TOBACCO SECARS &C. W. D. METCALFE, with MITCHELL & WARE, Wholesale Dealers in Tobacco and Cigars, NO. 8, NORTH FIFTH STREET, Philadelphia. 5" Accnts for Celebrated Star Navy. 4 22 ly Thomas Rourt. A. J. McCokkey. ROBB & McCONKEY, Commission Merchants, And Wholesale Dealers in LEAF AND MANUFACTU RED TOBACCOS, SECARS, No. 13 North Fifth Street, (Between Market and Arch,) PHILADELPHIA, PA. t041tf A. B. Cuuningham. J. II. Lewars. J. S. Glcim. Cunningham, Gleim & Co., Wholesale Dealeiis in Tobacco,. Segars, &c, NO. 4, NORTH FIFTH STREET, PIIIK.ADELPIIIA. 32310 GROCERIES AND PROVISIONS. C. 1. KXlGilKT & 1S1:0'S, Wholesale Dealers iu FISH, Cheese AND Provisions, 114 South Delaware Avcnne, Below Chcstnnt St., PHILADELPHIA, PA. Agents for Collins, Geddcs & t'o's ('aimed Fruits. 1041tf S. 15. TAYLOK, with WAINWRIGHT & CO. WHOLESALE GROCERS AND TEA DEALEIIS, North East Corner of 2nd and Arch Street?, Philadelphia Pa W. A. ATwooi). Isaac W. Ranch. AT1V001), IIANCK & CO., Commission Merehant.(i, AND Wholesale Dealers In all kinds of Pickled and Salt PIS II , No. 210 North Wharves, above Race Street, 3 40 6in6 PHILADELPHIA, PA. PATTERSON & NEWLIN, Wholesale dSroeers, AND COMMISSION MERCHANTS NO. 120 ARCH STREET, rhiladclphia. V- The safe of Eggs, Reeds, drain and Wool a specialty, i - 1'iease send lor a circular. 4 138 WHOLESALE v V GROCERS January 1, 1809. JBSyTho oldest lunatic on record Time out of mind. jrjr A slovenly fellow, describing his 11 to a physician, insisted on telling him what he had tried. " Well, said the tbctor, " did you ever try a clean shirt?" A ciddy student, having cot his scull fractured, was told by the doctor that the brain was visible, on which ho remarked : ' Do write and tell father, for lie always said 1 had none. 65" A well-known London printer being culled on to reply to a toast haid, " Gentlemen, I thank you most heartily. I can't make a speech; but I can prtvt one as long as you like. CSS" A subscriber writes to an editor : -1 don't want your paper any loDrer." To which the editor replies, "I wouldn't make itany longer if you did. lt't) pres ent length suits me very well." Better. " Doctor, doctor," said a conceited coxcomb to a distinguished physician during the prevalence of an ep idemic, " docs the lever anect the higher order?" "No," replied the doctor, "but it's death on fools, and you'd better leave the city immediately." JGST" A sailor passing through a grave yard, saw on oue of the tombstones, " I still live, ihis was too much for Jack who, shifting his quid, ejaculated : " ell, I ve heard say there are cases in which a man may lie, but if I was dead I'd own it." 5? An Indiana lawyer, finding his principal witness to drunk to testify when lie was wanted, addressed the court in a four hour speech, in which he touched upon everything, iucluding the Fifteenth Amendment, and finally his man came to. time. A servant living in the country was directed to get the mail. After her return her mistress inquired : " Did you get the mail f She answered : l Faith, mum, 1 did not : for you forgot to tell me whether it was Indian mail or corn mail that you wanted. JOS?" One exceedingly warm day in June a neighbor met an old man, und re marked that it was very hot. " Yes," said Joe ; " if it wasn't for one thing, I should say we were goiug to, have a thaw." " What is that?" inquired the friead.. " There's nothing froze," said Joe. JJ A western coroner's jury returned a verdict that the deceased came to hia death from exposure. " What do you mean by that I" asked a relative of the dead man, " there are two bullet holes in his skull." The Coroner replied, with a wave of his magisterial hand, "Just eo , he died from exposure to bullets." A good story is told us of a dimia utivc mercantile gent of a neighboring city, who, it is said, recently proposed to a young and buxom damsel, with the fol lowing result : " Oh, no," said she, " 1 cau't think of it for a moment. The fact is, you're a little too big to put in a cradle, and a little too small .to, be put in a bed !" The black hair of the stricken youth has since run to seed. Short and roiNTKD. On a rough old sailor being asked by one of the mem bers of a learned society to write a con cise account of the manners and customs of a somewhat barbarpus nation whoso territories he had lately been exploring he put down the following exceedingly brief summary of the characteristics of the people in question : "' Manners, none. Customs nasty." J5S5"An old gentleman who used to frequent a certain, collco-house, being un well, thought he might uiako so free aa to steal an opinion concerning his caso ; and ono day took an opportunity of ask ing one of the faculty, who sat in the sume box with hivu, what he should take for such a complaint. I'll tell you," said the doctor, sarcastically : " you should take advice." BS?-. Sir Wm. B being at a parish meeting, made some proposals which were objected to by a farmer. Highly enraged, " Sir," gays he to the farmer, " do you know, sir, that I have been at two universities, and two colleges in each uuiversity?" " Well, sir," said the farmer, " what of that? I had a calf that sucked two cows, and the observation I made was, the more ho sucked the greater calf ha grew."