ljc mce, New Bloomficlb, Jpo. 7 Philadelphia Advertisements. Philadelphia Advert isenients. Philadelphia Advertisements. Philralclphia Advertisements. HUMOROUS ITEMS. BOOKSELLERS & STATIONERS. MILLER & ELDER, ISuoItsclIea and Stationer, BLAX1C 1JOOIC MAX UFA CTUUEUS, And Dealers in WINDOW CURTAINS AND WALK. PAPER, No. 430, Market Street, SI PHILADELPHIA, PA. C1LMILK8 MAGA11GE & CO., Wholesale Dealers In Paper, -lsi s, Scc9 N03. 30, 32, and 34, South Sixth Street, PHILADELPHIA, PA. OTL. Paper any Size, Weight, Color anil Quality, made lo order, at short notice. lulv-u SOWEU, BARNES & POTTS, ISooIiMellci's Sc Stationers, And Dealers in ' CURTAIN AND JIZ-PIPZ, Nos. 533 Market and 523 Minor Streets, PHILADELPHIA, PA. . Publishers of Sanders' New Headers, and Brooks' Arithmeties. Also, ltolieit's History of the United States, Helton's Outline Maps, &e. BliAXK BOOKS Always on hand, and inado to Order. 31t LOt'HXAX'M Writing. Xlnia ! THIS FLUID is warranted EQUAL to Aknold's, ailtl IS sold :lI, iiiiiimi i.wj i.. 'i Will be refunded lo iho-ie buying it, if it does not uuLuuiy aiisiaeiory. VS i'or saie by !'. jUortimcr, New liloonilield. MILLER & ELUEU, Sole Agents, 430 Market Street, Philadelphia. EMM Glass and Queensware. A. L. Kmjb j. EUFkkymihe. KAUIS & FIXY3III&U, Impobtcbs and Jobbers op C li i ii a , GJ I sx h j? AND QUEENSWARE, 301 and 803, Cherry St., between Arch & Knee, PHILADELPHIA. 117" Constantly od hand, Original Assorted Packages. 3. 9. Xy 10 MISCELLANEOUS. PUMPS ! PUMPS ! FOU PURE WATER, US1S TUB CEMilWATED CUCinilMUt Made of wild Cucumber wood, rn t rely tn.ti'lem, diiriihlt: and rellnjile ; the good old-fashioned wooden pump, made by machinery, xml therefore perlcct and acenrale li all its parts, raxing an cipial amount of water, and costing less t han in. if Ihciuonev. Easily arranged so as to be noi'i freezing, and in construction sosiiin pic that any one cun put it up awl hvt It In r-fHiir. After thorough trial it is uckuuwlcdgerthe Best and Cheapest. CHARLES G. BLATCI1EEY, Manufaotuhkii. B- Olllce and Ware-room, . Nos. 624 and C2ff Filbert Street, 4 15 flmG V Ul LA DELPHI A, PA. 4V These Pumps can be ordered of the Manu cturer, or F. Mortimer & Co., New liloonilield. Gottago Org-sms, GREAT INDUCEMENTS offered to Churches and Sunday Schools. Organs and Melodeous for isalo on monthly Instalments. E. M. BRUCE, ...... Ho. 18 North Seventh St., IMltt PHILADELPHIA. DRUGS, MEDICINES AND PAINTS. John Lucas & Co., Sole and THE ONLY MANUFACTURERS OF THE IMPERIAL FRENCH, AND PURE SWISS GREEN, Also, Pure Wliile Lead and Color MAZ rPA CTURERS, Nos, 111 and 13 North Fourth St., Philadelphia. SIDDALL & MARKLEY, Wholesale Druggists, AND DEALERS IN Patent Medicines, 119 MARKET STREET, NEAR FRONT, Philadelphia, Pa. A FULL STOCK of everthine connected with the business, of the best uiality, and at very low prices. A good location for business, with a ow rent and light expenses, enables us to offer in ducements to buyers, and makes It worth their while to give us a trial. Philadelphia -3. 8tf. NAVES LAUOIS ! Saves Time ! ' SAVES JIOXE1' ! .VINHiailT & CO'S Labor-Saving Soap Will bo found the best in use. Willi this Soap washing may be done with half the labor required when any other Is used, and tho saving in wear to clothes Is really astonishing. It will cost only Fif teen Cents to try it, and after that you will use no other. For sale by all (iroccrs, and by F. Mortimer, New Uloonilield, Pa. 317 Worth its Weight in Gold ! rjMIIS is what everybody who has used It says of For Rheumatic Pains It. will irtv, l,,etnl .iir and eliecta permanent cure In a short tunc 11 Is also llie best remedy in the World for Cuts, Sprains, Bruises and Burns, and lint only giving prompt rebel from pain, but heals without leaving any sear. All who nave tried it, say no im.mii.v should be without it, for ills worth "its weight in gold. " V-iryaboltleof it ! No cure, No Pay. 317 t tfc- For sale at F. Mortimer's. JiEXXSVLVAXIA ELASTIC SPONGE CO. No. 1111 CHESTNUT STREET PHILADELPHIA. ELASTIC SPQNCE, A Substitute for Curled Hair, FOU ALL UPHOLSTERY PURPOSES. It is chopper than fkatheiis or haiu. and much superior, being the lightest softest and most elastic material kuowu FOR MATTRESSES. PILLOWS, CARRIAGE, CAR, AND CHAIR CUSHIONS. It is lndestruetable.fre I mm ilntl tu.iiwtlv dir. 1. and for the sick Is uncu.ualed,as if soiled it iseasily cleaned. IT DOES HOT PACK And is entirely free from Moth Person are resntcstt-rl to examine lh. n,,i,it,n Sjionge at the ojjwe of Uie comjiany. Fob 8tf -No.-1111 CHESTNUT STREET, Hardware, Cc. LL01TD, SUPPLEE, & WALTON, WHOLESALE HARDWARE HOUSE, No. 625 Market Street, Philadelphia. DRY COODS HOSIERY & NOTIONS John Shaffner, Jr. E. S. Zieglcr. Theo. Rumcl SlIAFFNER, ZIEGLER & CO., Successors to HAFFNER, ZIEGLER & CO., Importers and Dealers In Hosiery, (jiloves, ISiMtons, Suspenders, THREADS, CO M JJ S, and every variety of TRIMMINGS AND FANCY GOODS, No. 3G, North Fourth Street, PHILADELPHIA, PA. Agents for Lancaster Combs. BAllCROFT & CO., Importers and Jobbers Of Staple and Fancy DRY - GOODS, Cloths, Cassimcrcs,. Blankets, Linens, White Goods, Hosiery, &c., N-os. 405 and 407 MARKET STREET, (Above Fourth, North Side,) Philadelphia. Boots, Shoes, Hats and Caps. F. D. Miller. T. Rickert. C. II. Miller. MILLER, RICKERT & CO., BUCCBSSOUS TO CRAYB1LL & NEWCOMER, Manufacturers and Wholesale Dealers in HATS, CAPS, FURS, NTKAW-UOOlfcS, &v.9 No. 349 North Third Strost, 2d Floor, PHILADELPHIA. i 11 Jy 10 JOBBER IN Hats, Caps, Furs, A K D traw - O- o o tl s 153 NORTH THIRD STREET, 3 9 1yl0 PHILADELPHIA. W. W. Puul. II. L. Hood. A. Trimble. I). J. Hoar. WM. W. PAUL & CO. WUOI.ESALB BOOT AND SHOE WAREHOUSE, C23 Market St. and C14 Commerce Street, Philadelphia, Penu'a. MISCELLANEOUS. JItADBURY'S AND OTHER 1 IAXOh. jaylor & fUrlcy't and E. P. Xeedliam & Son's OStJANS AND MELODEONS. WM. O. FISCHEIi, General Wholesale Arent, 1018 Arch Street and 21 North Eleventh Street, S42CIH. PHILADELPHIA "Tho Had Horse Powders" T HE BEST PdWDEHS in the World for HORSES, CATTLE, HOGS, OR POULTRY. They will not only prevent, but will Cure diseases, and are (lie Cheapest, as well as the best Horse Powders In use. Try them. For sale by Stores and Druggists generally, and by V. Moutimeh, New Blooinileld, Pa. 33otf TOBACCO SECARS &C. W. B. METCALFE, WITH MITCHELL & WARE, Wholesale Dealeus in Tobacco and Cigars, NO. 3, NORTH FIFTH STREET, Philadelphia. 63- Agents for Celebrated Star Navy. i 221y Thomas Robb. A. J. McConkey. ROBB & McCONKEY, CoitiniiKsiou 33erehants, And Wholesale Dealers in LEAF AND MANUFACTURED TOBACCOS, SEGAas, &C No-. 13 North Fifth Street, (Between Market and Arch,) PHILADELPHIA, PA. loiitr A. B. Cunningham. J. II. Lewars J. S.Glcim. Cunningham, Gleim & Co., Wholesale Dealeus in , Tobacco, Segars, &c, .NO. 4, NORTH FIFTH STREET, PHILADELPHIA 32310 CROCERIES AND PROVISIONS. P. KIUIIT & Wholesale Dealers in P I S H Cheese AND Iro visions, 114 South Delaware Avennc, Below Cliestnnt St., PHILADELPHIA, PA. Agent? for Collins, (ieddes & Co's Cuiined -Fruits. 104 It i H. IS. TAYLOR, WITH WAINWRIGHT & CO. WHOLESALE GROCERS AND TEA DEALERS, North East Corner of 2nd and Arch Street?, Philadelphia Pa W. A. Atwood. Isaau W. Ranck. ATWOQi), KANCK & CO., Commission 3IerehaiJs, ANI Wholesale Dealers in aU kinds of Pickled and Salt JP ISII, No. 210 North Wharves, above Race Street, 3 40 C111G PHILA DELPHI A, PA; PATTERSON & NEWLIN, Wholesale tfSroeer.s, aS-i) COM MISSION M E li C II A N T S No. 120 ARCH STREET, l'hiladelphia. f The sale of Eggs, Seeds, Grain and Wool, a specialty. Ai- Please send for a Circular. 4 138 WHOLESALr 7 GROCERS January 1, 1SC9. JESS- A crusty old bachelor says he thinks it is woman, and not her wrong that ought to be redressed. HSyThe man who was "overflowing with the milk of human kindness" kept the crcain for his own use. C3 What is the diflerenco between a chattering lover and a pedestrian excur sion '( One is a talking wooer, the other a walking tour. JUS If a lady weic threatened to bo . kissed by a gentleman, and the objected what place near the coast of France might she name? Ushant. J3 ' Do you think,' asked Mrs. Top per, ' that a little temper is a bad thing in a woman?' 'Certainly not ma'am,' replied a gallant philosopher: 'it is a good thiug, and she ought never to lose it.' JCSS" A n Irishman, a drayman was given a loud in l'hiladelphia recently, being told to drive to the Gymnasium on Broad Street. Shortly afterwards ho was in that vicinity inauiriiiB for tho rnsirlnnpo kof Mr. Jamei Nasium. 55 An orator who had raised his au- dience to a great height by his lofty soar ings, exclaimed : "1 will now close in the beautiful and expressive language of tln puet I forget his name and 1 for get what he said, too." JSSr " My .tlear," said the sentimental Mrs. Waddles, home, you know, is always tho dearest npot 011 earth." " Well, yes," said tho practical Mr. Waddles, li it does cost me about twice as nineh as any other spot." 8" A minister in Salem took for his text, " The flesh, the world, and the dev il," and informed his astonished audience that he should " dwell briefly in the flesh pass rapidly over the world,aud liasten as last as lie could to the devil." SS " I don't wish to say 1 anything against the individual in question," said a ' very polite gentleniau; ''but would mere ly remark, in the language of the poet, that to him ' truth is stranger than fic tion.' " A colored lady called at the store in Chicago last week to buy a pair of " flesh-colored" hose. The matter-of-fact clerk innocently took down a box of black stockings for her inspection. Miss Dinah indignantly left the store. ISfA young lady in Indiana was frozen to death during the last cold Bpell, while out sleigh riding with a young man. A man who can't keep a woman from freezing when he lias her iu a sleigh all alone to himself, should be ' punished to 1 the extent of the law. JOS?" To make lager-bier tho following -new recipe is given; Take a barrel and fill it with rain-water, put in one pair of old boots, a head of last fall's cabbage two short sixes, a sprig of worm wood and a little yeast. Keep.it for a year, and then " Dish out." US!" A trickcy politician, ' who was noted for never doing anything without a sinister purpose having died, the clergy man who preached his iuncral sermon said that it would have been a consolation to the friends of tho deceased if they ; could ascertained his motive in thus sud--denly leaving them. 8?" The' best and most conclusive rea son lor an effect that wo ever remember to have heard, was given by a Dutchman ' in reply to a friend who remarked, "Why Hans, you have the most' feminine Cast of ' countenance I have ever seen." " Oh, ' yaw," was the reply, " I know the reason M for dat my mother was a woman." An apothecary's boy was lately sent to leave at one house a box of pills and at another six live -fowls. Confused on tho wayr he left the" pills where the fowls should have gone 'and tho fowls at the pill place. The folks who received tho fowls were astonished at reading the accompanying directions : " Swallow one ' every two hours." BSyTlie Other day Molecule propoun-" ded the following to Atom; A toy said to a gentleman, 4 My father and mother' have a daughter, but she is not my sister.' Now how do you explain that? Atom" reflected in vain and to his every sug gestion received a negative reply, and'1 was forced to give it up. ' Why, it's sim- -pie enough,' said Molecule with on 'ex-" asperating smile, 1 tho boy lied.'