The Bloomfield times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, May 24, 1870, Page 7, Image 7

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    7
Philadelphia Advertisements.
Philadelphia Adrertiscincnts.
DRUC3, MEDICINES AND PAINTS.
Philadelphia A dvertisenicnts.
Philadelphia Advertisements.
HUMOROUS ITEMS.
BOOKSELLERS & STATIONERS.
MILLER & ELDER,
lSooH'cSlcr ami MtUilioners,
P.LASK HOOK MASVFACTUllEIM,
Ami Dealers tu
WINDOW CURTAINS
AND
WAILl. B.MPJI2Z8,
No. 430, Market Street,
51 PHILADELPHIA, PA.
CUAP.LES 31 AG AUG 15 & CO.,
Wholesale Dealers in
No 39, 32, and 21, South Sixth Street,
PHILADELPHIA, PA.
Paper any Size, Weight, Color ami Quality,
nuilu to order, at short notice. luly-ii
S0WH, IIAIIXES & POTTS,
And Dealers in
CURT A I N
AND
No. 530 Market anil 523 Minor Streets,
PHILADELPHIA, PA.
13. Publishers o Sanders' New Headers, and
P.rooks1 Antnmctics. Also, Hubert's History ol
tlie United States, Teltoii's Uulline Maps, ve.
15 SLA IS E
Always on hand, and made to Order. 31 1
THIS FLUID is warranted EQUAL to An'OM)'s,
anil is sold at miieii less price. Tlie money
will be refunded to ilioie buying it, if it does not
prove entneiy satislai'tory.
Ji-l'orsale by l iMoiinncr, New ljloomileld.
illLLEll & ELDEll,
Sole Agents,
430 Market Street,
23031 l'liiladelphia.
Glass and Qitccnsware.
A. L. Kaub J. E. FitEVMiuE.
IIAU55 & FirOEIXlBS,
iMl'OUTEltS AND JOIHIBHS OV
C la. i n ii , Cjt 1 n s
AND
QUEEN S W AKE,
801 and 303, Cherry St., between Arch & Race,
PHILADELPHIA.
H7" Constantly ou hand, Original Assorted
Packages. a. 0. ly lo
MISCELLANEOUS.
FCMPS !
rujirs !
FOR rntE WATEK, USE
TUB Clil.EIlltATED
Made of wild Cucumber wood, en
tirely tusti'lrm, ilurahli! and vrlia.hU', ;
tlie eood old-fashioned woodenpuiiip,
made liy machinery, and therefore
IH'l'll'Pt. :ltlll !HfMII':llM ill till Itu l u
raisiim an eipial ituiouut of water,
and oostiiiK lessthanhalt tlie money.
I.asily arranged no as to be noii
freivniK, and in construction sosim
ple that any one can uul it up owl
keep it. in repair. After thorough
trial it is acknowledged tlio
Best and Cheapest.
CIIAHLESG. BLATOHLKY,
MANUrACTUUEH.
Olllce and Ware-room,
Nos. 21 and 63! Filbert Street.
4 15 61116 PHILADELPHIA, PA.
S These Pumps can be ordered of the Manu
aeturer, or V. Mortimer & Co., hew Ulooinlleld.
ESTEY' H
Cottage Organs,
GREAT INDUCEMENTS offered to Churches
and Sunday Schools. Organs and Melodeous
for tale on monthly Instalments.
li. M. HK11CH,
No. IS North Seventh St.,
WUtf - i PHILADELPHIA.
John Lucas & Co.,
Sole and
THE OXLY
MANUFACTUIIEKS
01' THE
IMPERIAL FRENCH,
ANI
PURE SWISS GREEN,
Also, Pure
WHaife ILe:nl :auI Color
MANUFACTURERS,
Nos, Hi and 143 North Fourth St.,
Philadelphia.
SIDDALL & HARKLEY,
Wholesale Druggists,
AND DEAI.EKS IN
Patent Medicines,
119 MARKET STREET, NEAR FRONT,
Philadelphia, Pa.
A FULL STOCK of rverthinc; connected with
JL. tlie business, of tlie best quality, and at very
low prieeS. A good location for business,- witli a
ow rent and light expenses, enables us to oiler In
ducements to buyers, and makes it worth their
while to give us a trial.
Philadelphia, 3. 8tf.
SiAVKJi XjAISUI !
Saves Time !
N AVBiS JIWXFiY !
A.IN1UGIIT & CO'S
Labor-Saving Soap
Will be found the best In use. With this Soap
washing may be done with half tlie labor required
when any other is used, and the saving in wear to
clothes is really astonishing. It will cost only Fif
teen Cents to try It, and after that you will use no
other.
j5.For sale by all Grocers, and by F. Mortimer,
New liloomneld, Fa. 317
Worth its Weight in Gold !
rjlIIIS is what everybody who has used it says of
For llheumatic Pains it will give Instant relief
ami elleetii permanent cure in a short time.
It is also tue best remedy in tlie World for Cuts,
Sprains, liruises and Hums, and not only giving
prompt relief from pain, but heals without leaving
any sear. All who nave tried it, say no family
should be without it, for iris worth its weight in
gold.
. Try a bottle of It ,' No cure, No Pay. 317
U3- For sale at F. Mortimer's.
JiEXXSVLVAXIA ELASTIC SPONGE CO.
No. 1111 CHESTNUT STItEET PHILADELPHIA.
, ELASTIC SPONGE,
A Substitute for Curled Hair,
FOU ALL UPHOLSTERY PURPOSES.
It Is cheaper than feathers or haiu, and much
superior, being tlie lightest softest and most elastic
material known
FOlt MATTRESSES. PILLOWS, CARRIAGE,
CAR. AND CIIATIt CUSHIONS.
Itislndestructable.free from dust, perfectly clean
and for the sick is unequaled.as if soiled it iseasily
IT DOES NOT PACK
And is entirely free from Moth
Persons arc requested to examine the Cushion
ajionye ui ma ojjice oj uw comjxiny.
Feb 8tf -No. 1111 CHESTNUT STREET,
Hardware, Ce.
LLOYD, SUPPLEE, & IV ALTON,
WHOLESALE
HARDWARE HOUSE,
Mo. 625 Market Street,
Philadelphia.
DRY GOODS HOSIERY & NOTIONS
John Slut liner, Jr. E. S. Ziegler. Tlieo. lluniel
SIIAFFMUl, ZIEULLR & CO.,
Successors to
SHAFFNER, ZIEGLER & CO.,
Importers and Dealers in
Hosiery,
& loves,
I&iMos,
Naiupcia ilea's,
THRU ADS, COMBS,
and every variety of
TRIMMINGS
AND
FANCY GOODS,
No. 3(1, North Fourth Street,
PHILADELPHIA, PA.
Agents for Lancaster Combs.
BANCROFT & CO.,
Importers anil Jobbers
Of Staple and Fancy
, DRY - GOODS,
Cloths,
Cassimercs,
Blankets,
Linens, White Goods, Hosiery, &c,
Nos. 405 and 407 MARKET STREET,
(Above Fourth, North Side,)
I'iailjuIeEpIjia.
Hoots, Shoes, Hals and Ca8.
y. I) Miller. T. Rickert. C. II. Miller.
MILLER, ItXCKEUT & CO.,
SL'CXXSSOKS TO
GRAYI5ILL & NEWCOMER,
Manufacturers and Wholesalo Dealers in
HATS, CAPS, FU11S,
MTHSAW-CiOODS, !tc.,
No. 349 North Third Street, 2d Floor,
PHILADELPHIA.
4 11 ly 10
JOBBER IN
Hats, Caps, Furs,
ltrsiAV - Goods
153 NORTH TJIIRD2ST3EET,
3 9 ly 10 PHILADELPHIA.
W. W. Paul.
D. J. Hoar.
H. L. Hood.
A. Trimble.
WM. W. TAUL & CO.
WUOLESALH
BOOT AND SHOE
WAREHOUSE,
023 Market St. and OH Commerce Street,
Philadelphia, Pcnn'a.
MISCELLANEOUS.
JRADllLRY'S AND OTHER
jaylor t ttirlev'a and E. P. Necdham t Son's
ORGAHS AND MELODEONS.
WM O. FISCIIEIl,
General Winlenale Anent,
1013 Arch Street and 21 Nortli Eleventh Street,
3 42 tim. PHILADELPHIA
"Tho Rod Horsa Powdors"
AUK
1IIE BEST TOWDEHS In the World for
HORSES,
CATTLE,
HOGS,
OR POULTRY.
They will not only prevent, but will Cure diseases,
and urn tlie Cheapest, as well as the best Horse
Powders in use. Try them. Tor sale by stores and
DruKKists generally, and by F. MoitTiuuu, New
liloomlield, Pa. 33otf
TOBACCO SECARS AC.
Thomas Kobu. A. J. McCoxkey.
ROEB & McCONKEY,
Jomisiissiou Merelaants,
And Wholesale Dealers in
LEAF AND MANUFACTURED
TOBACCOS, SEGJIB8, SC.
No. l'i Nortli Fifth Street,
(Between Market and Arch,)
PHILADELPHIA. PA.
104111
A. B. Cunningham. J. H. Lewars. J. S.Glcim.
Cunningliarn, Gleim & Co.,
Wholesale Diialeks in
NO. 4, NORTH FIFTH STREET,
32310
CROCERIES AND PROVISIONS.
Wholesale Dealers in
FISH
Cheese
AND
Provisions,
114 South Delaware Avenue,
Below Clicstnnt St.,
PHILADELPHIA, PA.
Agents for
Collius, (jjeddes & Co's Cuuuca Fruits.
lOlltf
S. 15. TAYtOB,
WITH
"WAINWRIGHT & CO.
WHOLESALE GROCEPiS
AND
TEA DEALERS,
North East Corner of 2nd and Arch Street?,
Philadelphia Pa
W. A. Atwood. Isaac W. Ranck.
ATW001), RANCK & CO.,
Coiuis.sioii Mereiianfs,
AND
Wholesale Dealers in all kinds of Pickled and Salt
IP I S5 II ,
No. 210 North Wharves, above Race Street,
3 40 0niO PHILADELPHIA, PA.
WHOLESALE
CL& nnnfinnfi
January 1, 1SG9
WOOD AND WILLOW WARE.
!i:AYH3a.I, & CO.,
Wholesale Dealers In
Carpets,
Oil Cloths,
Shades,
Broolns,
Carpet Chain,
Batting, Wadding, Twines, &c,
And a line assortment of
Wood mid Willow Ware,
No. 313, North Third Street,
Philadelphia, Pa.
January 1, 1809.
&jf A druprzist 1ms this cheerful invi
tation in his show-window : " Coiuo in
and get 12 emetics for one shilling.
B3"Whnt is the difference between
young girl and an old hat? Merely ft
illerence of time one has fooline. nnd
the other has felt.
E2y An urchin leinp; gent for five cents'
worth of niaccaboy snuff, forgot the name
of the article, and asked for five cents'
worth inakc-a-boy-sneczo.
BiS?" In reply to a vouns writer who
Wished to know which nm'nzinn wnnlrl
ivc him tho highest position quickest,
a contemporary advised a " powder maga
zine, if you contribute a fiery article."
Sjy In a pool across tho road, in the
county of Tippeinry, Ireland, is stuck up
a pole, having affixed to it a board with
this inscription :
" lake notice, that when tho water is
over this board the road is impassable."
ISf A young man having devoted him
self to the special eutertaininentof a com
pany of pretty girls the whole evening,
demanded payment in kisses, when one
of them instantly replied, " Certainly,
sir; present your bill."
JCSF"An excellent old deacon, who.
having won a lino turkcv at a charitv
raffle, didn't like to tell his severe ortho
dox wife how he came by it, quietly re
marked, as he handed her the fowl, that
the " Shakers" gave it to him.
XtiSTAn Irishman in Watcrburv, Conn..
recently drew a piano stool at a gift
entertainment. He kept it a lew days
and then returned it for "repairs" to the
eiter, stating that ho had " turned it
and turned and not a bit of a tune could
he get out of it."
J5Q?" A little girl after returning from
church where she saw a collection taken
up for the first time, related what took
place; and among other things she said
with her childish innocence, ' that a man
passed around a plate that had some
money on it, but I didn't lake any.'
JiSf ' Barber,' said a farmer to his ton
sor,' ' now wheat's cheap, you ought to
shave for half price.'
' Can't, Mr. Jones,' said tlio manpf
razors. I ought really to charge more .
For when wheat's down, fanners make
such long faces that I have twice the
ground to go over."
JG-ay Dr. Williamson had a quarrel
with one of his parishoncrs by tho name
of Hardy, who showed considerable re
sentment. On the succeeding Sunday
the doctor preached from the following
text, which he prououueed with much
emphasis, and with a significant look at
Hardy, who was present : " There is no
fool like tho fool Hardy.'
fiS3 A few days ago a man entered an
insurance offico in Buffalo, aud, tossing a
paper on tho counter, said to the clerk ;
' That's run out, I want to get it renewed.'
As tho clerk unfolded the document a
broad grin spread over his face, and he
inquired : ' Arc 3'ou suro that this has
run out!" ' Yes,' said tho man, ' my wife
told mo it run out yesterday morning,'
whereupon tho clerk handed back to him
his marriago certificate.
57 Here's an account that all our
young readers will not see through at a
glance :
John Smith
, To Robert Jones Dr.
0 copper pans, $3 ?13.00
2 wooden do 4 CO
$8.00
You see " two wouldn't do !" which
left 4 to pay for.
Who was the Fifth.
An Irishman who had been absent for
some timo on a fishing excursion, met
one of his friends, who inquired of him
what luck he had. Oh,' ho replied,"
" wo had a most illegant time intircly."
"Who were of your party?" asked his'
friend. ', There wero five of us," was
his answer. "There was myself, one;
iho two Scrogginses, two ; Terry Toole,
three ; Jim Kasin, four. T here were five
of us. There was Terry Toole, one; my
self, two; the two Scrogginses, three; and
Jim Kasin, four. There most certainly
were five of us. Thero was Jim Kasin,
one : Terry Toole, two j myself three ; and
the Scrogginses, four. It's very strange
that I can't remember who the fifth man
was 1 There was myself, one; Jim Kasin,
two; the two Scrogginses, three; and;
Terry Toole, four ; and mvj th devil fly
a way with me if I can recollect who the
fifth man was I",