2
ljc mcs, Ncu Bloomftdu, )a.
Jtoftintl dfctfott5.
THE PASTING-.
THERE'S something in the 'parting hour'
Will chill the wannest heart
To1 kindred, comrades, lovers, friends,
Aro Taled all to part ;
But ibis I've seen and many a pang
lias pressed it on my mind
The one who goes is happier,
Than those ho leaves behind.
71b matter what the journey he
Adventurous, dangerous, far
To the wild deep or bleak frontier,
To solitude or war
Still something cheers the heart that dares
In all of human kind ;
And thoso who go are happier.
Than those they leave behind.
The bride goes to the bridegroom's home,
With doubt ings and with tears,
Cut does not Hope her rainbow spread
Across her cloudy fears?
Alas ! the mother who remains,
What comfort can she find,
But this the gone is happier
Than the one she leaves behind ?
Have you a friend a comrade dear
An old and valued friend ?
Bo sure your term of sweet eoncourso
At length will have an end !
And when you part as part you will
O, take it not unkird.
If he who goes is happier
Than you he leaves behind t
God wills it so and so it is ;
The pilgrims on their way,
Though weak and worn more cheerful arc,
Than all the rest who stay ;
And when, at last, poor man subdued,
Lies down to death resigned,
May ho not still bo happier far
Than thoso he leaves behind? ,
A SHARP GAME.
STRANGE things are constantly oc
curring hero in our modern Atlie.is.
which the public aro forever ignorant of,
while little things, common-place events,
are blazoned to the world as if tliey pos
sessed all the importance of an insurrec
tion, or a revolution. Now, the rather
amusing scries of incidents which we arc
about to indite, it is probable would have
never been promulgated to the readers of
this paper, had it not been for
our accidentally meeting a loquacious
friend in the counting-room of a mer
chant, a few days since, who related in
his own peculiar style, the following rath
or cu rious specimen of financial maneu
vering. One of the largest firms dealing in the
produce of the west, some time during
the autumn of 184'j. received a small
part of a large invoice of goods which it
had purchased of a western dealer then
in the city, and gave him a note on four
months lor the whole amount, supposing
of course that the balance would arrive
in due time. Tho western merchant, un
beknown to the firm, carried the note to
one of the State Street Banks and got it
discounted, and bhortly afterwards left
the city for home. For some unaccounta
ble reason or other, the produce did not
arrive, and tho four months passed with
out hearing a word from it or from the
western stranger. On tho eve of the ma
turity of the note, tho firm were some
what surprised to receive a tiotice briefly
informing them that a note (the identical
v one, for which they had not icpeived a
quid pro quo) would be duo on a certain
day, and requested them to pay, etc.
One of the firm went to tho bank, and re
lated to the cashier the circumstances.
" We cannot help you it is no busi
ness of ours," said the cashier.
" But don't you see sir." said the mer
chant, becoming somewhat excited
"'don't you see that wo have not had the
value received ?"
" That is according to your statement,!
admit," replied the cashier; "but you
confess the note to bo gcuuine?"
" Certainly that is our signature wo
cannot deny that."
" Well, then the note is a prima facio
testimony against you," said the cash
ier. " liut, sir, you must not you da'ro not
protest tho note, under tho circumstan
ces," said the merchant.
41 Of course you will pay it, thereby
avoiding tho necessity of a protest ?" sug
gested the cashier.
"Of course we won't 1"
" Then tho only course for us to pursuo
is to protest it."
" I begin to suspect," said the mer
chant, ' that you believe that I have fab
ricated a story just to get rid of paying
that noto."
"On my honor, I suspect no such
thing," replied the cashier. " But on
the oontrary, I believe you have uttered
nothing but the truth ; and all tho conso
lation I can givo you is never in future
give your note until upon or after tho re
ceipt of goods purchased !"
" We need none of your advice," said
tho merchant, in high dudgeon. " We
can manage our own affairs! We shan't
pay the note that's flat ! we'll fail first !
So good morning, Mr. Cashier."
Tho hour of tho last day of grace
slipped by, and 1) & Co.'s note for
four thousand dollars was protested !
On the next day, it was a general ru
mor on 'change that B & Co., had
failed! It was known that they had a
large amount of paper out, which was
true but every body who knew them,
supposed, before that day, that they had
abundant means to meet as it matured.
The brokers, in particular, were in great
consternation, for they had brought pa
per to a large amount on the now reputed
bankrupt bouse, and each creditor would
have considered himself fortunate could
he have obtained fifty cents on the dollar
for his demand.
The junior partner of the concern, who
was a much more sensible, and shrewder
man than the senior, determined to take
advantage of the unfair rumors, which
were so rife throughout the whole mer
cantile community, and, if possible, turn
them to a profitable account. Not desir
ing to make a confidant of any one who
was likely to have any of their paper on
hand, he went to the office of a rather
obscure money-lender a Jew and rela
ted to him tho whole circumstances of
the case, and declared that so fir from
being insolvent, they could liquidate
double the amount of claims against the;u
in twenty-four hours. This tact he told
the Jew in great confidence.
"lien what for you want monish of
me ?" asked the Jew.
" I do not desire the loan of a dollar,"
said the merchant. " All I desire of you
is to purchase every scrap of paper with
the name of our firm upon it, at the low
est possible rates, and I will pay you a
handsome commission for your trouble."
" Put, mine Cot !'' exclaimed the wary
Hebrew broker, " s'pose you po pnnk
rupt! Ben 1 lozc all mine monish ! Ila!
ha ! Den what shall I do mitout mine
monish '! I shall po von boor vagapond
like what you call do shiuincy-swecp, py
tarn !"
" But suppose I place sufficient money
in hand to redeem our paper," said the
merchant, " you certainly cannot object
to that V
" Ah ! den I will do your leedle piz
ness petter as nopody," said the Jew.
" The rumors are that our house is
bankrupt, S!) you will bo enabled to pur
chase it at great discount," suggested
the merchant.
" Ah, py tarn. T will puy wery, wcry
shcap nopody shall puy shcaper," re
plied the broker as he revolved over in
his mind how he shoufd turn tho transac
tion to his own account, instead of that
of his employers.
The merchant placed in his hand sev
eral thousand dollars, taking the Jews re
ceipt therefor, and aficr enjoining upon
him the utmost secrecy as regarded their
understanding, and to purchase the paper
for the firm at tho best rates possible , lie
left the money-changer's office.
Moses Goltschmidt for that was the
Jew-broker's name made his appearance
on 'change soon after tho abovo arrange
ment was made. As ho anticipated, the
chief topic was tho'failuro of tho house
of B & Co. Many were the in
quiries and surmises, to all of which the
wily Jew lent n willing ear. Whenever
any one expressed a doubt as to tho fail
ure being a hard one, Moses disputed it
at once, by offering to sell a noto of tho
broken house for twenty cents ou the dol
lar. This so alarmed the holders of the
depreciated paper that every ouo seemed
desirous to sell at alnn st any price, for
they knew, or reasonably supposed, that
if Goltschmidt held the house good for
twenty cents on the dollar it was probably
not good for more than half that sum.
" Vill anpody gif twenty cents on tho
tollar for mino note ? ho would say, " tish
worth dat, or tish worth noting."
" Probably tish worth noting," said a
street merchant, mocking his peculiarity
of dialect.
" Den, shentlemens,'' ho would answer,
" if tis worth noting, you will sell very
shcap. I have got little monish, and vill
give you feefteen cents on ter tollar niy
Belf put I vill not sell less than twenty,
by tarn !"
Saying this, the Jew started off for his
office.
Several bystanders, supposing that tho
cunning broker said this iu order to dis
pose of tho paper that he pretendod to
hold at as high, rates as possiblo, deter
mined to go to his office and hold him at
his word.
Some half-a-dozen entered at once, and
threw their notes upon tho counter, de
manding fifteen cents on the dollar as he
offered. Moses assumed a reluctant air.
'1 he note-holders were clamorous; they
declared that he should keep his word, or
they would expose him to tho whole
street.
" Oh, mine Cot ! shentlemens ! I shall
pe ruined!" exclaimed Moses, as he com
menced counting out the money for the
depreciated paper. " Put I vill risk my
last tollar to save mine honor. Nopody
shall say Moses Goltschmidt keeps not
his wort. 1 vill tiscount all tcr paper
mit all mine lnouish, den, mine Cot, 1
must shtop."
Bach creditor of B & Co. was
served in turn, and no sooner were the
first batch of notes liquidated, than in
came tho, second ; and in the course of
two or three hours he bad purchased some
sixty thousand dollars at fifteen cents on
the dollar. Tho next day ko offered ten,
and actually negotiated soaie forty thou
sand more at this price, until the market
was entirely relieved of the supposed
worthless paper.
'J he junior partner, hearing how suc
cessful the Jew had been in purchasing
his paper, made him a visit the next day
for the purpose of receiving from his
hands nearly all the liabilities of the firm.
Chuckling over his good fortune be said :
"A profitable joke. Goltschmidt. You
shall have all the business of our house
in f uture. What commission shall I pay
yon '!" he asked.
" I ask no commission," said the Jew ;
" Dere are your notes in dat one leedle
backago, to dc amount of one hundred
tousend tollars. If you wish to cash dem
afore dey come due, 1 shall deduct simple
interest."
" What mean you, Jew?" ejaculated
the merchant partially comprehending the
cunning agent's meaning.
' 1 nieau dat your house owe mo von
hundred tousand tollars, after tctueting
do twelve tousand for which you hold my
receipt!" said Moses, with a business-like
importance.
" Sir," said the merchant becoming en
raged, "you do not intend to thus take
advant ige of my coi.fidoncc ':"
' Tish a fai pizness draiisaetion," said
the broker.
It is an abominable cheat!" declared
the duped one. "Think not thus to
overreach me. It was our money that
was placed in your hands, and all you
can claim from us, legally, for the paper
i have commissioned you to buy, is a fair
percentage."
" Dat ish not the law," said the wily
one, " where ish my agreement to dat ef
fect? I purchased your baper I holt it
in my hands. If you pe paukrupt, den I
haf run von very great risk "
" But you have purchased our notes
with our money," interrupted the mer
chant. " Not your monish my monish por
rowed !'' returned the Jew. " Put I hav
von leedle broposition to make pay me
eighty cents on the tollar, I vill bo satis
fied." Tho merchant finding that tho Isreal
itish money-vender had fairly overreach
ed him, and that it was impossible to
get the paper of his firm on more reason
able terms, aquioscod, and absolutely re
deemed dollar for dollar, making twenty
per cent, discount, while the Jew, ou an
average actually purchased it at some
eighty per cent, discount.
In a few days the affair got wind, but
tho original creditors, fearing that their
reputation for shrewdness and sagacity
would fall below par, ou 'change, resolved
to keep tho matter as secret as possiblo,
and pocket the loss !
2" In trying to speak our language,
Frenchmen. particularly, make many ludi
crous mistakes; among which wo notice
tho following:
A Frenchman, who, finding that fer
ment meant to work, said " he loved to
ferment in the garden ;" and another
ono who asked at a lawyer's office for a
shall," meaning a will. Still another
said : " I love do horso, do sheep, do dog,
do cat in short, everything that is beast
ly." Shakspeare's lino, " Out brief can
dle," was translated literally by a Pari
sian author, " Get out, you short caudlo !"
and tho expression, " With my sword I
will carve my way to fortune," was ren
dered, " With my sword I will make
my fortune cutting meat," ono of the
meanings of carve being to " cut meat."
J5 A negress, speaking of one of her
children who was lighter colored than tho
rest, said : " I nebber could bear dat brat,
'cause ho show dirt so easy."
Thomas Jefferson.
TT7IIILE this distinguished statesman
T mid patriot was Vice-President of
the United States, it was customary for
tho individual holding that high otfico to
attend to business more in person than the
refinements more modern times will allow.
It happened once that some important mat
ters required his attention in Philadelphia,
and some other places distant from the
capital. In thoi-c days a journey to Phil
adelphia was not to be performed iu a few
hours it was two or three days' travel,
and none of the most pleasant sort nei
ther. On his return he stopped in Balti
more. It was four or five o'clock in tho
afternoon when tho Vice-President rode
up suitless, and unattended to the tavern.
A Scotchman by tho name of Boydcn
kept the hotel, of late so much improvod
and now so handsomely sustained by our
worthy townsman Beltshoover. The
bucks of the town were assembled in the
large hall, smoking, strutting, cracking
jokes, and otherwise indulging in the cc
stacies of the day. B oyden was at the
bar examining the books, and doubtless
making calculations respecting his future
prospects. Jefferson had delivered his
horso into the hands of the hostler, and
walked into the tavern in order to make
arrangements in regard to his fare.
Some one touched Boydcn on the elbow,
and -directed his attention to tho stranger,
who stood with his whip in hand, strik
ing it occasionally upon his muddy leg
gins. Boydcn turned around ami sur
veyed him irom head to foot, aud conclu
ding hLu to be an old farmer, from the
country, whose company would add no
credit to his house, said, abruptly :
" We have no room for you, sir."
Jefferson did not hear the remark, and
asked if he could not be accommodated
with a room. His voice, which was com
manding and attractive, occasioned an
other survey of his person by the honest
proprietor of the house, whose only care
was for its reputation. lie could not
find, however, in his plain dress, pretty
well covered with mud, anything indica
ting either wealth or distinction and iu
his usual rough style, he said :
" A room ?"
Jefferson replied, " Yes, sir, I should
like to have a room to myself, if I can
get it ?"
" A room all to yourself?. No, no we
have no room there's not a spare room
in the house all full all occupied
can't accommodate you."
The Vice-President turned upon his
heel, called for his horse, which by this
time was snug in the stable, niouuted and
rode off. In a few minutes one of the
wealthiest and most distinguished men in
the town came in and asked for tho gen
tleman who rode up to the door a few
mitiutes before.
" Gentlemen !" said Boydcn.
" There has been no gentleman hero on
horseback, this afternoon,and no stranger
at all, but one country looking fellow,
who came in and asked if ho could have
a whole room, but I asked him out of
that mighty quick, I tell you. I told
him I had no room for such a chap as
him !"
" No room for such chaps as him ?"
' No, by the pipers, no room for any
body that don't look respectable."
" Why, what aro you talking about,
man ? He's tho Vice-President of the
United States, and tho greatest man
alive."
" Murder, wlmt have I done? Here.
Tom, Jerry, Jake, Dick where are you
all? Here, fly you villains Hy,tell that
gentleman we've forty rooms at his ser
vice ! Vice-President Thomas Jeffer
son ! Tell him to coino back and he
shall have my wife's parlor my own
room ! Jubiter, what have I done ?
Here, Harriet, Mary, Jule, clear out of
tho family ! he shall have tho best room
and all tho rooms if he wants them ! Off,
you hussies, put clean sheets on tho bed !
Bill take up the mirror ! George, hurry
up with tho boot-jack ! By George, what
a mistake!''
For fifteen minutes Boydcn raved liko
a madman, nnd wont fifty times to tho
door to seo if his wished-for guest was
returning. Tho Vice-President rode up
Market street, where ho was roeognized
by many of his acquaintances, and by
them he was directed to tho Globe tavern,
which stood somewherenear tho corner
of Market and Charles street. Hero
Boyden'a servants came up and told him
their mastor had provided rooms for him.
" Tell him I have engaged rooms," said
Jefferson,
Poor Boyden'a mortification can better
be imagined than doscribed ; tho chaps
who were loitering about the bar and tho
large hall, and had laughed heartily at
the disappointment of the muddy farmer,
had recovered from their astonishment,
and were preparing to laugh at their
downcast landlord. After some time ho
prevailed upon some friend to wait on
Mr. Jefferson with his apology, and re
quested that he should return and take
lodgings at bis house, promising tho best
room and all the attention that could bo
given him.
Mr. Jefferson returned the following
answer : " Tell Mir. Hoyden that 1 appre
ciate his kind attentions, but if he had
no room for the muddy farmer, he shall
have nono f ir the Vice-President."
The Pickled Watch.
rgMIK other day we met, Wiggins, nnd
JL he had a silver eased Watch hunt
ing case at that. We had known Wig
gins five-and-twenty years and never
knew him to carry a watch before. Wc
asked him where ho got it. He gave us
a nod and a leer, and said that he would
tell us.
" Last fall," he commenced, " I killed
the old brindlo cow, and put the best
part of her into tho beef barrel. Sho
was fat the beef was nice ; and I had
nigh onto a full barrel. I didn't want to
make it very salt, so I set it out in tho
shed, where the frost might touch it and
keep it ; and you'd believe it made good
eating."
Ono day my wife says tome says she,
"Wiggins, 'pears to me our beef is going
mighty f-.st. I went and looked, and
sure enough, it, was going going rather
fister'n 1 thought it ought to. 'I've no
ticed it lowering unaccountably this long
time,' said my wife. Somebody is steal
ing it. Why don't ye set a trap '("
But my neighbors were all good heart
ed kind of folks, though one or two of
them might be just a lectio inclined to
poke round where they didn't belong,
and I didn't want to hurt 'em. I conclu
ded, howsomevcr, that it would be best
to put the barrel, with what little beef
was left, down in the cellar, and 1 did it.
" Well, when the beef was all used up,
and I went to clear out the barrel, I found
this watch in the pickle. It looked to
me like Tom Sherman's watch. Tom had
worked for me considerable, and I havo
seen him have tho watch, or one very
much liko it. When I saw Tom I show
ed him tho watch and he said right off it
was his.
" How did you lose it?' said I.
" 1 carried it in my pocket without any
chain, and must have dropped it out
when I was was stooping," said he.
" Well," said 1, " then ye must havo
been stooping over my beef barrel, for I
found it in the pickle !"
" With that Tom looked kind of sheep
ish ; and 1 guess he saw the twinkle in
my eye."
" Let me look at there watch again,"
said he.
lie looked at it a little while and then
ho handed it back to me.
" Ou the whole, Mr. Wiguins," said he,
" I guess that ain't my watch, artcr all.
It must belong to somebody else." And
with that he walked off.
" I carried the watch to our jeweler,
and he found that tho cases had shut bo
tight that tho works hadn't been pickled
a bit; and for a dollar he cleaned it up
in good shape, and set it running." It's
a first rate timekeeper, aud I rcckon'that
whoever took my beef paid all it was
worth."
JCQ At Lawrence, Kansas, one Sun-'
day, while a minister was holding forth
in the church,a crowd got up acock fighfc
in tho yard. Tho people who had con
gregated to hear tho Word, went out to
put a stop to tho fight, but waited until
the battle was over before objecting.
Tho minister looked out tho window ut
tho crowd, and said, We are all misera
ble sinners which whipped ?"
Jfcj? A gentleman of Hartford, Conn.,
returning homo on Sunday from church
began to extol tho merits of tho sermon
of his son. " Jack," said the old gentle
man, I have heard ono of the most de
lightful sermons ever delivered before
Christian society, It carried mo to tho
gate of heaven." " Wrhy didn't you
dodge in ?" replied Jack, " You will nev
er have another such chance."
CSFSouio impertinent chap advises
tho ladies do get their ages ready, as tho
census-takers will soon be around. Twen
ty to twenty-four was tho popular figure
ten years ago. It will not probably ranga
abovo this year.
4- If a man and his wifo go to Eu
rope together, what is tho ditferenco in
their mode of travelling ? He goes abroad
oud gho goes along.