l)c (grates, Hctu Sloomftcllr, J.
3
liainson, and if men will make blunders
they must pay for them."
" But my friend nii.stouk the house.
Ho thought it was my room that he was
entering, and ho thought it was I in the
bed."
" lint it was my si.stcr."
" Well, there was nu harm in that."
" How the deuce do I know, Mr Wil
liamson? 1 merely know the facts in
the cane, just as I have stated them,
and I am bound tu have satisfaction of
your friend. He must marry the lady,
oven if she is coin polled to eue for a
divorce the next day after."
"And lose my Maria!" T yelled for
getting in the a.ony of that thought
the necessity for silence
"Hal that's him," cried the fat gen
tlemen, rushing into the room, followed
by a long, thiu, peaked-chined lady of
thirty-five, perhaps, whose face was the
color of tan bark, and whose eyes were as
red as a soldier's button-hole.
" (), ho, Mr. What's-your-name," cried
the tan-colored lady, springing forward,
and clutching my hair, " aren't you as
shamed of yourself, sir?"
" Hanged if 1 ain't," answered, try
ing to sink into my balmoral.
And what are you going to do about
it, sir ? Just tell me that will you?" in
quired the fat gentleman, grasping rue by
the arm. " Didn't you know that it was
a high crime and a misdemeanor, for
which you might be impeached sir?
Didu't you know that you might be lynch
ed, sir, and don't you think you deserve
to be lynched, sir, for attempting to do
what you have clone, contrary to the laws
of the Commonwealth, ' and against the
peace and dignity of the State ?"
Looking at the tan-colored sister, I
could but answer in the affirmative.
" And now, what do you propose to do
about it?" cried the fat gentleman.
" Why," said I, " I'm very sorry, sir ;
and for you, madam, I beg your pardon.
It was all a mistake, I assure you, and my
friend Williamson will tell you so."
" Quite likely, sir; but suppose such
miserable mistakes should become com
mon ? They must be nipped in the bud,"
and the fat gentleman looked exceedingly
fierce. " To come to the point, you must
cither marry my sister, or "
" What?" I gasped, fixing my eyes up
on the countenance of the tan-colored fe
male, who gave me an amorous glance at
this point.
" Marry my sister, or I'll shoot you like
a dog,"
" Choose," cried the tan-colored one.
And quick, too," yelled the fat one
growing excited.
"I'll marry her," I faltered.
" When '" inquired the lady.
"Name the day yourself. The sooner
the better."
"This afternoon, then, at two o'clock."
" And meantime you will remain a pris
oner in one of the chambers," said the
fat gentleman, " and your friend must
liavo no intercourse with you."
" 1 submit."
" Very good," said the fat 'gentleman ;
" and now follow me."
He led me to this room, brought my
clothes, and locked me in. I have taken
n bath since, and am now dressed ready
for the execution or the marriage cere
mony, rather. Shall I ever survive it ?
"Hold heart;
And you my sinews grow not instant old,
But bear mo stiffly up."
I hear a footstep at the door. My
time is almost come. The fat gentlemau
enters. Adieu, my own beloved Maria,
adieu !
Three o'clock, P. M. The cermony is
concluded, and I still live. Truly
" There's a divinity that shayies our ends,
Rough-hew them as wo will."
The fat gentleman conveyed mo to his
house, where I found his sister, arrayed
in her best, the minister, and Williamson
waiting for us.
I was introduced to the minister, and
then Williamson asked mo if I was all
ready, and I answered that I was.
" You can take your places then," said
the minister.
" Place me on tho trap, and draw the
cap over my eyes."
" The lady isn't here," said William-
son.
" Yes, I am," answered a voice from
the door.
I sprang forward, almost crazy with
delight and astonishment.
"That voice!" I cried, "that form,
those eyes, that nose ! It is, it is my own,
my darling Muria!"
" You bet," she exclaimed throwing
herself in my arms.
We kissed.
." And this ia your brother from Aus
tralia?" I asked.
" Yes, love. And this is my sister ;
but you are not going to marry her. Wc
found out who you were, by some
of my letters which I found in your coat
after your abrupt departure this morning
from my room."
" Then it was your room that I enter
ed not your sisters?"
" Exactly. But don't make such a
mistake again, my dear."
" Won't I though ?"
Then we took our places, and the min
ister made us one flesh.
And this is a true accouut of how I
found my Maria.
Couldn't Flml the Verdict.
At a recent session of one of the
courts of South Carolina, an entire
negro jury was empannellcd. A case was
brought before them, the witness exam
ined, and the attorneys made their re
spective arguments.
The judge, after laying down the law
and recapitulating tho testimony, gave
tho papers into the hand of tho foreman,
a rather intelligent looking negro, with
instructions as soon as they lund a ver
dict to bring it without fail.
Thirty minutes more elapsed, when
the jury returned headed by the foreman,
and stood before the judge.
As the foreman appeared to hesitate,
the judge inquired :
" Mr. Foreman, have you found a
verdict !"
" No. Massa JudjS!, wo haben't found
'em no how," replied the ebony juryman.
" It's a very plain case," said the
judge.
' Can't help it massa, couldn't sec it,"
replied ebony, again.
" On what grounds ?" inquired the
judge.
' We didn't look into de grounds,
Massa Judge," replied the foreman; " de
ossifer did not take us out into de grounds,
but he took us into a room and locked
us in, and told us when we found de ver
dict he would let us out. So wo began
to find de verdict, and search ebery nook,
corner, crcvis, and ebery ting dere was in
that room, but wo found no verdict no
numu ob do kind dere."
Powerful Effect of Strychnine.
An Ohio paper says an instance illus
trating the terrible activity and virulence
of strychnine lately came to our observa
tion, which occurred to us as being rather
remarkable, though we suppose it a nat
ural result. This is the case. A farmer,
named Gilson' living near Girard, think
ing to rid his cornfield of a troublesome
ground hog, managed to administer the
quadruped a dose of strychnine which
killed him nearly instantly. The carcass
was suspended in 'a tree, where the crows
soon espied the savory bid and proceeded
to appease their appetites. After par
taking of the fatal meal the crows would
fly rapidly a short distance, as if in ago
ny, and fall dead to the ground. The
bones being thoroughly stripped of the
flesh, remained exposed to the bleaching
influence of sunshine, rain and frost for
nearly two years, when falling to the
ground, a highly prized dog masticated
parts of them, and died from the effects
in a space not exceeding ten minutes.
JCJfA case of Deafness of 1-t years
standing (the result of Catarrh) cured
by the use of Dr Sage's Catarrh llemedy.
Levi Springer, Esq. of Durban's Cor
ners, Williams Co., O., writes, under
date of January G, 1800, that hehas been
using Dr. Sages Catarrh Bemedy, and
says it has cured him of deafness of four
teen years standing. He was so deaf
that he could not hear a person talk
when seated by their sidd, and can now
hear tho church bells ring two miles dis
tant. It is sold by druggists, or send sixty
cents to Dr. B. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y.
flfe3-"What is a strait?" Tho class
looked blane, except ono small boy, who
said ho could tell- The schoolinarm
hopefully told him to proceed. "It beats
two pairs."
JB6a5" Philadelphia covers about ono
hundred and twenty-seven square miles
of territory.
JSfSf Variety is tho spice of life. So
of a newspaper. But neither should be
all-spice.
fi1 Hint to a lover To succood as a
suitor, you must suit her well.
BSgy Quite natural That Jews should
be fond of jew-elry.
A wringing machine The income
tax.
SUNDAY READING.
A GOOD RULE.
nr alice cAar.
i FARMER, who owned a fine orohard.onc day
J.X. Went out with his two sons to take a survey,
The time of the year being April or May.
The buds, were beginning to break Into bloom,
The air all about him was rich with perfume,
And nothing.at first, waked a feeling of gloom.
Hut all at once, going from this plaee to that,
lie shaded his face with tho brim of his hat.
Saying, "Here Is a tree dying out, that Is flat !"
He called his sons, Joseph and John, and said he,
" This sweeting, you know, was my favorite tree ;
Just look at the top, now, and see what you sect
"The blossoms are blighted, and.siire as you live,
It won't have a bushel of apples to give I
What ails it? the rest of the trees seem to thrive.
" Run, boys, bring hither your tools, and don't stop,
Hut take every branch that is falling alop,
And saw it out quickly from bottom to top!"
"Yes, father," they said, and away they both ran,
For they always said fitthnr, and never old man,
And for my part I don't see how good children can.
And before a half hour of the morning was gone.
They were back In the orchard, both Joseph and
John,
And presently all tho dead branches were sawn.
" Well, boys," said theanner, " I think, for my
share.
If the rain and the sunshine but second our care,
The old sweeting yet will be driven to bear!"
So when a month, may be more, had gone by,
And borne out the June, and brought in the July,
lie came back, the luck of the pruning to try.
And lo! when the sweeting was reached it was
found
That wind falls enough were strewn over the
ground,
Rut never an apple all blushing and sound.
Then the farmer said, shaping his motions to suit,
First up to the boughs and then down to the fruit
"C'omu John, come Joseph, and dig to the root!"
And straightway they came with their spades and
their hoes,
And threw off their jackets, and shouting, " Here
goes!"
They digged down and down with tho sturdiest
blows.
And, by and by, Joseph his grubblng-hoe drew
From the earth and the roots, crying, "Father,
look ! do
And he pointed his words witli the toe of his shoe!
And the farmer said, shaping a gesture to suit,
" 1 see why our sweeting has brought us no fruit
There's a worm sucking out all the sap, at the
root!"
Then John took his spade with an awful grimace,
And lifted the ugly thing out of its place,
And put the loose earth back In very short space.
And when the next year came, it Is only fair
To say that the sweeting rewarded the care,
And bore them good apples, enough and to spare.
And now, my dear children, whenever you sec
A life that Is proofless, think of that tree;
For out of ten chances to one there will bo
Some habit of evil Indulged day by day,
And hid as the earth-worm was hid in the clay,
That is steadily sapping the life-blood away.
The fruit, when tho blossom Is blighted, will fall
The sin will be searched out, no matter how small,
So, what you're ashamed to do, don't do at all.
Elder Knapp On Swearing.
ILDER KNAPP is not averse to hav
J ing it understood that he may be re
garded as a sort of consulting physician for
sick souls when the original family doctor
finds that his pharmacy has lost its efli
cacy. In one of his recent raids on
the arch-enemy of souls he selected, as
being especially fit subjects for animad
version, tho profane swearers; and 'this
is the way in which ho " went" for
them :
" I will give you my dear friends, a
picture from a scene in hell. The devil
is sitting in his private office, receiving
tho souls as they aro brought to him from
tho upper world. In comes an infernal
jailer, conducting a soul to everlasting
flames. ' W ho are you ?' asks the devil
as the culprit was brought to where he
was setting. ' Secretary Benjamin, of
tho confederate cabinet,' was the reply.
' 0 yes, I knew you were, coming,' said
the devil, as he turned over tho leaves
of his ledger and made an entry of the
Secretary's namo. ' I always show con
siderations to thoso that have showed it
to mo. I've got to tako you in ; but I'll
try and make you as comfortable as pos
sible,' To tho attendant : Show Mr.
Benjamin to a place as near as you can
get him to a current of air.' The next
arrival was-one who had killed bis mother-in-law.
Ho was hung in Cincinnati.
1 Take him away,' said tho devil, 'but
treat him kindly. The chances aro two
to ono that ho isn't much to blamo.
I remember his case. His mother-in-law
came hero three weeks ago. She looked
as though she wanted killing. She's
over in No. G3. Put him there, and set
the old woman in front of the furnace.'
No. G3 is too cool for h6r. Pretty soon
another victim arrives. 'What has
brought you here ?,' said the devil. ' My
case is a hard one,' was the reply.' I
am hero just because I swore.' 'Because
you swore,' asked the devil, rising angrily
from his chair. ' Yes, that's all the sin
I ever did.' 1 All the sin ?' re-echoed
the devil 'all the sin. Why you mean
despicable, contcmptlile, low-lived vag
abond,' said the devil, as ho brought his
fist down on the table, " there isn't a cor
ner hero that is hot enough for you. Of
all the sixty thousand preachers that
spend their Sundays in blackguarding
mo, not one of them ever yet accused me
of swearing. Blasphemed your Ma
ker did you ? Profaned the holy name
of your Saviour, that forgave his enemies
on the cross, and died to have saved you
from hero ? You did this, did you ?' The
trembling culprit made no reply. ' Why,'
continued the devil, whose voice raised
as his wrath intensified ' why, there's
no excuse for you. A man by an un
lucky blow may kill another one. In
pressing temtation a man may steal ; he
may lie to save his neck or cheat his
neighbor. There's some excuse for him,
The profano swearer has no excuse? At
tendant, tako this accursed scoundrel out
of my sight. Put him up to his neck
where the coals are tho hottest, and then
put somebody to sit on his accursed head."
Friendship of Women.
It is a wonderous advantage to man
in every pursuit or vocation, to secure an
adviser in a sensible women. In a woman
there is at once a subfile delicacy of
tact and a plain soundness of judgement
which are rarely combined to an equal
degree in man. A woman, if she 1m re
ally your friend, will have a sensible re
gard for your character, honor, repute.
She will seldom counsel you to do shabby
things; for a woman friend always de
sires to be proud of you. At the same
time her constitutional timidity makes
her more cautions than your male friend.
She therefore seldom counsels you to do
an imprudent thing. A man's best female
friend is a wife of good sense and heart
whom he loves, and who loves him. But
supposing the man to be without such a
helpmate, female friendship he must have
or his intellect will be without a garden,
and there will bo many an unheeded gap
even in its strongest fence
Relics of Waterloo.
The Prince and Princess of Wales,
during their accent stay in Paris, wit
nessed a muster of the old soldiers ot the
Grande Armee, at the foot of the Napo
leon column, preparatory to attending
mass in the chapel of the luvalides. Their
number appears this year to hafo dimin
ished to about thirty, of whom two-thirds
were invalids in full uniform, one of
whom carried tho standard given to them
by the present .Emperor. Among the re
mainder were several artillery-men, one of
Marccau's hussa'rs, still wearing the or
thodox pigtail one naval officer, one of
the famous Old Guard, together with a
drummer of the Guard, who beat the as
sembly on the occasion. Almost all had
long white moustaches, and all, with the
exception of the Old Guard, were ex
ceedingly little men, showing that the
military standard of height had fallen ex
tremely low under the first empire.
ttsS" There is an expression in the face
of a good married man who has a good
wifo that a bachelor cannot have. It is
indescribable. He is a littlo nearer the
angels than the prettiest young fellow liv
ing. You can see that his broad breast
is a pillow for somobody's'head, and that
little fingers pull his whiskers. No ono
ever mistakes tho good married man. It
is only tho erratic one, who leaves you in
doubt. Tho good one can protect all the
unprotected females, and make himself
generally agreeable to the ladies, and yet
never leave a doubt on any mind that
there is a precious little woman at home
worth all the world to him.
JOST" A young woman in one of tho ru
ral towns of New Hampshire, desir
ous of teaching school in a neighboring
village, got this documeut from the se
lectman : " This is to certify that Taniar
Noyles stands on a medium with other
girls of her ago and sex, and for what I
know is as good as folks in general."
Tamar got the shook
JBS? A sick man was told that nothing
would cure him but a quart of Catnip
tea. " Then I must die," said ho, " for
I don't hold but a pint."
JB There's a man in a town who
keeps a list of all the banks in the coun
try, so as to be able to say that he keeps a
bank account.
IV 13 W STORE !
CHEAP GOODS!
THE subscriber having opened a new Store, ono
r loor,l;fst hweger s Hotel, solicits n share
pf the public, patronage. He has Just received i
lull supply of
IV v O o o (1 s ,
sortim'nU)",t!"t,y 150011 " 'liUM1, a conmletcil-DRY-OOOn.
GROCERIES
Q UEENSWARE, HARD WARS,
ROOTS fc SHOES, II A TS & CA i
And Everything else usually kept In Stores.
9T Call and see my stock.
ROR'T. N. WILLIS,
New RloomOeld, Fa.
S42
5fcw Carriage Manufactory,
On H roil Street, East of Carlisle St.,
Xcw Blooinficld, Pcnn'a.
THE subscriber has built a large and commodi
ous Shop on High St.. Fast of Carlisle Street,
New llloomtleld, l'a., where he is prepared to man
ufacture to order
Osx r r i a, e s
Of every description, out of the best material.
Sleighs of every Style,
built to order, and finished In the most artistic and
durable manner.
1f9- Having superior workmen, ho Is prepared
to furnish work that will compare favoraoly with
die best City Work, and much more durable, and
at much more reasonable rates.
MV REV A HUNG or all kinds neatly and prompt
ly done. A call Is solicited.
SAMUEL SMITH.
Sltf
.TJVEES IB. CXjZFtK:,
manufacturer and dealer in
Stoves, Tin and Sheet Iron Ware
New Blooinfleld, Terry co., Pa.,
K filers constantly on hand every article usually
kept in a tlrst-class establishment.
All the latest styles and most Improved
Parlor and Ititflicu Stoves,
TO BURN EITHElt COAL OH "WOOD!
tr. Spouting and Itooflng put up In the most
durable manner and at reasonable prices. (Tall
and examine his stock. 3 1
BELLS.
( ESTABLISHED
t IX 1837.
BUCKEYE BELL FOUNDRY!
c
Hl'HCir. Academy, Factory, Farm, Firc-
Aiarm neus, &c, &c, inaue oi
rURE BELL METAL,
(Copper and Tin,) warranted in quality, tone, du
rabilitv, Kx'., ami mounted with our Patent 1M
l'liOVKIl ROTATING HANGINGS. Illustrated
Catalogues sent Free.
VAXDVZEX cO TIFT,
Not. 103 and 104 E. 2nd St.,
41101 ypd C1NCINNA TI, O.J
Ncav Stride Han
BETWEEN
BLOOMFIELD and NEWPORT !
WINTER ARRANGEMENT.
THE subscriber is now running a hack between
r.lnomlleld and Newport, leaving HlooinlleU!
at 9 a m., arriving at Newport In time to connect,
with the Express train Hast.
Returning, leaves Newport at 2.30 p. m., or on
the arrival of the Wail train West,
Mir He has also opened a LI VERY In th. Stables
belonging to ltiiiesmith's Hotel, where ho is pre
pared to furnish horses and buggies at moderate
prices. AMOS RORINSON.
F. I). Miller. T. Riekert. C. II. Miller.
MILLER, RICKERT & CO.,
SUCCESSORS TO
GRAYISILL NEWCOMER,
Manufacturers and Wholesale Dealers'in
HATS, CAPS, EURS,
NTIt.VtV-GOODS, Ac,
No. 349 :. v:Third Street, 2d Floor,
PHILADELPHIA.
4 11 ly 10
PATTERSON & NEWLIN,
Wholesale (jroccrs,
AND
COMMISSION MERCHANTS
No. 120 AUCII STREET,
rhiladelphia
r The sale of Eggs, Seeds, Grain and Wool,
speciality.
I'lcase send tor a Circular. I 4 38