l)c imc0, Nciu Blaomftclfc, JJa. 7 Philadelphia Advertisements. Philadelphia Advertisements. Philadelphia Advertisements. Philadelphia Advertisements. HUMOROUS ITEMS. BOOKSELLERS & STATIONERS. SOWER, BARNES & POTTS, XSooltsellcrs & .Stationers, And Doalers m CURTAIN AND WALL-PAPERS, Nos. 630 Market and 623 Minor Streets, PHILADELPHIA, PA. tn Publishers ot Sanders' New Readers, and Broods' Ant nineties. Also, Rouert's ilr.Uoi y of Uio United ouues, l-elton's Outline Maps, ice. Always on hand, and mado to Order. 31t MILLER & ELDER, ISookseliers and stationers, BLANK BOOK MANUEACTUltEUU, And Dealers In WINDOW CURTAINS AND WAfc.IL. PAPEII, No. 430, Market Street, PHILADELPHIA, PA. ii CHARLES MAGARGE & CO., Wholesalo Dealers In I'apcr, N03. 30, 32, and 31, South Sixth Street, PHILADELPHIA, PA. S. Taper any Size, Weight, Color and Quality, mado lo uidei', ai snoi D notice, luly-ii lociuias's Writing- Xluld. ! THIS FLUID is warranted EQUAL to Ahnold's, uud is sold at muu.i ,e.n puce, luo money al be teuuidiM to Hum; buying il, if U does uol prove eiunoiy Jui.siaoiuiy. A-l'oi'd.o Liy a. ami uuier, New Bloomlield, MILLEU Hi ELDEii, bole Agents, iW ularket Street, J3031 Philadelphia. Hanking and Stocks. BANKING HOUSE Of Jay Cooke & Co., ua and m soura THIRD street, Philadelphia, DEALEIIS IN ALL GOVERNMENT SECURITIES. Old 5-SOs Wanted IN EXCHANGE FOR NEW. A LIBERAL DIFFERENCE ALLOWED. Compound Interest Notes Wanted. INTEREST ALLOWED ON DEPOSITS. t-COLECTIONS made j STOCKS bought and sold on Commission. I3ST SPECIAL business accommodations re erred for LADIES. 8191 . Glass and Queensware. X. L. Kauu J. E. FltSIMIRB. KAUIS & F1&YMIIIE, IlirOHTEItS AND JOIlBEItB OF China, G- lass AND QUEENSWARE, : Ml and 803, Cuorry St., betweon Arch & Race, PHILADELPHIA. ITT Constantly on hand, Original Assorted feckases. 13. 8. 1 J 10 DRUCS, MEDICINES AND PAINTS. SIDDALL & MARKLEY, Wholesale Druggists, AND DEAI.EH8 IK Patent Medicines, 119 MARKET STREET, NEAR FRONT, Philadelphia, Pa. A FULL STOCK of overthlns connected with the business, of the best quality, and at very low prices. A good location for business, with a ow rent and light expenses, enables us to offer In ducements to buyers, and makes It worth their while to give us a trial. Philadelphia, 3. 8tf. .Tnhn T.nnn.s & Co.. Sole and THE ONLY MANUFACTURERS OIP TUB IMPERIAL FRENCH, AND PURE SVISS GREEN, Also, Puro White Lead and Color MANUFA CTURERS, Nos, 141 and 143 North Fourth St., Philadelphia. SAVES L AISO It I Saves Time ! SAVES MOEY! -yy-AINRIGIIT & CO'3 Labor-Saving Soap Will be found the best in use. With this Soap washing may be done with half the labor required when any other Is used, and tho saving in wear to clothes Is really astonishing. It will cost only Fif. teen Cents to try it, and after that you will use no other. M For sale by all Grocers, and by F. Mortimer, New Bloomlield, Pa. 317 "The Esd Ilorso Powders" Alt IS fJJIIE BEST POWDERS in the World for HORSES, CATTLE, HOGS, OR POULTRY. They will not only prevent, lint will Cure diseases, and are tho Cheapest, as well as the best Horse Powders in use. Try them. For sale by Stores and Druggists generally, and by F. Moiitimuk, New uiuuiuuuiu, x a. oooii Worth its Weight in Gold! fJIHIS is what everybody who has used It says of NESmTirS LIXIJIEXT. For Rheumatic Pains It will give instant relief and clleet a permanent cure in a short tune. Jt is also tne boit remedy In the World for Cuts, Sprains, limine and Dunn, and not only giving prompt relief from pain, but heals without leaving any scar. All who have tried it, say no family should be without it, for it is worth IU weight in gold. . Try a bottle of It ! No cure, No Pay. 317 . For sale at F. Mortimer's. Hardware, Ce. LLOFD, SUPPLEE, & WALTON, WHOLESALE HARDWARE HOUSE, No. 625 Market Street. Philadelphia. ESTEY'N Ootttig"o Organs, GREAT INDUCEMENTS olTered to Churches and Sunday Schools. Organs and Melodeous for sale on monthly Instalments. iL U. BUUCK, Mo. 18 North Seventh St., 104111 PHILADELPHIA. u ll DRY GOODS HOSIERY & NOTIONS BARGRGFT & CO., Importers nml Jobbers Of Staplo and Fancy DltY - GOODS, Cloths, Cassimercs, Blankets, Lincri9, White Goods, Hosiery, &c, Nos. 405 and 407 MARKET STREET, (Above Fourth, North Side,) Philadelphia. John Shaffncr, Jr. E. S. Ziegler. Thco. Rumel SIIAFFNER, ZIEGLER & CO., Huccessors to SIIAFFNER, ZIEGLER & CO., Importers and Dealers in Hosiery, Gloves, Itihhons, Suspenders, TUBE ADS, GO MLS, and every variety of TRIMMINGS AND FANCY GOODS, No. 30, North Fourth Street, PHILADELPHIA, PA. Agents for Lancaster Combs. Hoots, Shoes, Hats and CVis. W. F. KOIILEK, JOBBER IN Hats, Caps, Furs, AMD !S t i- ;i av - G- ooils 153 NORTH TIIIRDSTREET, 3 9 ly 10 PHILADELPHIA. W. W. Paul. D. J. Hoar. II. L. Hood. A. Trimble. WM. W. PAUL & CO. WHOLESALE BOOT AND SHOE WAREHOUSE, C23 Market St. and 014 Commerce Street, Philadelphia, Penn'a. MISCELLANEOUS. JRADBURVS AND OTHER PIANOS. laylor & Farley's and 12. P. Needham ! Son's ORGANS AND MELODEOUS. WM. O. FISCHER, General Wliolesale Agent, 1018 Arch Street and 21 North Eleventh Street, 3 42 0m. PHILADELPHIA JiE.VXSYLVANIA ELASTIC SPONGE CO, No. 1111 CHESTNUT STREET PHILADELPHIA ELASTIC SPONCE, A Substitute for Curled Hair, FOR ALL UPHOLSTEltY PURPOSES. It Is cheaper than feathers or haik. and much suiKirlor, being the lightest softest and most elastic minimal Known FOR MATTRESSES. TILLOWS, CARRIAGE, CAR. AND CHAIR CUSHIONS. It Is Indestructable.f ree from dust, perfectly clean and for the sick is uuequalcd.as if soiled it is easily cleaned. IT DOES NOT PACE And is entirely free from Moth Persons are requested to examine the Cushion Sponge ut the ojjlce oj tlie company, l'jbilfj No. 1111 CtliiifN jr STRB3T . T. AUGE CO., J Philadelphia, Pa., CROCERIES AND PROVISIONS. C. 1. KXIUUT & HUO'S, Wholesale Dealers in BIS II , Chcco AND Ii'ovisions, 114 South Delaware Avennc, Below Clicstnnt St., PHILADELPHIA, PA. Agents for Collins, Ucddcs & Co's Canned Frnits. 1041tf S. IS. TAYLOli, WITH WAINWRIGHT & CO. WHOLESALE GROCERS AND TEA DEALERS, Korth East Corner of 2nd and Arch Street?, Philadelphia Pa' TV. A. Atwooo. Isaac w. Ranck, ATW00D, RANCK & CO., Commission Merchants, AND Wholesale Dealers in all kinds of Tickled and Salt FISH, No. 210 North Wharves, abovo Race Street, 3 40 OinO PHILADELPHIA, PA. WHOLESALE GROCERS January 1, 18G9. WOOD AND WILLOW WARE. 011AY1SIL.L. fe CO., Wholesale Dealers In Carpets, Oil Cloths, Shades, Brooms, Carpet Chain, Batting, Wadding, Twines, &c And a fine assortment of Wood and Willow Ware No. 343, North Third Street, Philadelphia, Pa. January 1, 18G9. TOBACCO SECARS &.C. Thomas Eobb. A. J. McConkey, ROBB & McCONKEY, Commission Merchants, And Wholesale Dealers in LEAF AND MANUFACTURED TOBACCOS, SEGARS.&C. No. 13 North Fifth Street, (Between Market and Arch,) PHILADELPHIA, PA. 1041tf A. B. Cunningham. J. II. Levari. J. 8. Glclra Cunningham, Gleim & Co., Wholesale Dealers in Tobacco, Scgars, &c. NO. 408 MARKET STREET, ABOVE FOURTH, PHILADELPHIA. S2310 JO?" A western girl say3 si: likes to make bread because it cleans her hands so beautifully. a35- Why is a young man who never ays a waijcr quite us bad as one who does ? Uecause he's no better. ZtSay " Hurry, niannna," said a littlo nnoccnt with his finger cut; " hurry, it's caking." fl" If men's faults wcro written on their foreheads, broad-brimmed hat would be fashionable. flSaS" A crusty old bachelor savs that Adam's wife was called Eve becauso when she appeared man's day of happi ness was urawtog 10 a close. A German, being required to cive ' a receipt in full, after much mental ef fort produced tho tollowing : " I isb, full wauts no more monish. JST" " ly their fruits ye Bhall know them," as the farmer exclaimed wheu ho traced half his golden pippins to tho pockets of a truant schoolboy. JUay There is a "fast" young man in this town,who, it is Baid,heats his shaviug water every morning by tho firo of his own genius. jrjgy ' I've risen from tho bar to tho bench." That's what a lawyer said on luittiug the profession and taking up tihoemakinrr. IQF A handsome girl in Utica wenfc crazy the other day becauso her parcuta wouldn't let her marry a fellow seven i'ect hidi uud red headed. H- " Cuffee, is that the second bell V " No, uiassa, dat's do second rinyin": oh defuKS bell. We habn'tgotno Becondbell in dis hotel." 05?" I am, indeed, very much afraid of lightning," murmured a pretty young in, Uunug a storm. " And well you "my be," sighed the despairiug lover, " for your heart is made of steel." JEST " Vat vedder vill it bo to-day ?" asked a German of his neighbor. 4 Veil 1 uuu t know ; vot you tiukr 44 1 link it will bo vedder as you tiuk." 14 Veil, den I tiuk so too." At a Sunday school meeting out West, a young lawyer made a motion that they 44 choose a committee-oi ladies uud gentlemen to raise children fur tho Sab bath school." 863" An auctioneer exclaimed : 44 Why really, ladies and gentlemen, I uui giving these things away 1" 44 Are you?" said an old lady present; ' well, l'l thank you tor that silver pitcher you have lu your hand." The individual who tried to clear his conscience with an egg, is now en deavoring to raise his spirit with yeast. If he fails in this, it is his deliberate intention to blow out his brains with a bellows, aud sink calmly into tho arms of a Young and handsome lady. JKaf" Saxe gives the following advico to the rising generation : In going to parties just mind what you are ut, Beware of your head and take care of your hat, Lest you find that a favorite son of your mother Has an ache iu tho ono and a brick in the other, C An old toper bet that ho could when blindfolded, tell each of several kinds of liquors. When brandy, whiskey, gin, and other drinks wore presented to him, ho pronounced correctly what they were. At length a glass ol pure water was given to him ; he tasted it, paused, tasted again, considered, and shook his head. At last said ho 44 gontleuicn, I givo it up." It tasted good but it is a kind of liquor I am not used to. JUST" Wo hoard a good story on a oer taiu slow railroad the other day. On this road tho train was frequently de layed by cattle upon the track. This had happened several times, but finally the locomotivo eutercd upon clear sailing and for ten or fifteen miles the train rat tled along at a lively jog. All of a sud den, however, the engine began a livoly blowing, showing that trouble had come again. At this, one individual, who had been watehing the trees fly past the windows, and had just persuaded himself into the belief that he was riding into glory at tho rate of a league at a breath jumped up with surprise and the ejacu lation : " Well, I'll be hanged if we h tvn't caught up with thotto bUrttod oattfo. again 1"