9 I)c imc0, New Bloomftclir, )a. sing, lighted the gas. After considerable talk and general chaffing, Ilciskill pro posed that the big table be cleared, and that they should go to work. " You're professor, to-night, Seymour, you know, and try not to ask any ques tions you can't answer yourself." " Then let hun stick to tho spinal col umn said littlo Myles. " I don't want him asking mo to articulate a humerus and a fibula again." " Oil, you needn't bother about who's to be demonstrator !" said Cyrus. " We can't do any anatomy to-night. Tho skele ton's gone 1" In order that the foregoing conversation may be understood, it may be well to stato that these young men had clubbed together to buy an articulated skeleton, upon which they rubbed up their anatomi cal knowljd.e each of tho party acting in turn for an evening as professor," aud asking questious of tho others. This skeleton was kept in a long yellow packing-trunk, and the backman had taken it off with Miss Birch to the hotel. There wasnorcasm why he shoulJ not have taken it, for it was near tho door, and was indeed tho only trunk visible upon first entering. Cyrus was so full of Miss Birch aud the bothersome landlady that he did not notice the mistake. Of course, with three such eager and amazed inquirers as toto the whereabouts of their common property, there was nothing to be done but to tell, under promises of strict secrecy, the whole story. It was received with unbounded applause, and the joke was considered far more en joyable than any studying of anatomy could possibly prove. When the laugh ter had somewhat subsided lleiskill asked Cyrus what he intcuded to do. " Why, I'll have to go round in the morning aud explain that the wrong trunk was taken of course I shan't tell her what is in it , and then I shall have to get that Bill again to drive her and it to tho Baltimore depot, and instead -of leav ing the trunk, he must bring it back here. I hate tho plan, for it not only gives trouble, but makes a lot of trickery about the young lady that I don't like. And I was going to send down my books so nicely! Confound that man !" " Do you think she 11 open it in her room ?" said littlo Myles. " Of course not, you blockhead," snap ped Cyrus. " She hasn't tho key, and besides, do you suppose she would open my trunk if she had ?" The most astonishing surmises now en sued as to what would happen it so-and-so should be so-and-so, and when no pos sible combination of unfortunate circum stances could be added to what had been already laughed over, they descended to puns. Some good and some very bad ones were made, and poor little Myles, after cudgeling his brains for the whole period of punning time, finished the per formance by wishing to goodness that the man had been named " Cohen, when he was alive, so that something might be said about a " truncated cone. Noth ing was bad enough to follow this, and so they got out tho cards. The next morning Cyrus dressed him olf in his best, and actually went to his washerwoman's liou.se to get his white vest, if by chance it was done. It was about half past ten when he reached the hotel, aud tho clerk told him that Miss Birch had gone. " Gone !" cried Cyrus. " Where could the have gone so soon ?" The clerk looked very hard at him, and replied, " How do 1 know where she went I However, after Cyrus had explained how he had intended calling on this you n lady before she left for Baltimore, thus E roving that ho was properly aware of er destination, tho clerk informed him that she had left, in company with an elderly gentleman, in time to catch the ten o'clock train. Cyrus wont homo in a stato of utter bewilderment. When he reached his room he found there was a note a note from Fanny, the first ho had ever received : "Dear Mn. Dunnwr, Tho telegram reached unclo last night, and instead of sending mo tho money lie came himsclt early this morninr. I wanted to wait until you called and thank you for your kindness and your trunk (which I will take good care of) ; but unclo thought I had better take the ten o'clock train, becauso that was tho only train, until aiternoon, which con. iicctod with the cars for Martinville, and lie thought tho family would be worried if I didn't oret homo until after my trunks ar rived by express. He says lie will leave this and stop and thauk you himself. "Yours truly, F. B." On iiiouiry, Cyrus found that the note had been left by a gentleman just before came in, wno oskcu. lur niui, uui wouldn't wait. JNow what was to be don 1 Nothing, Cyrus thought, but to write to his father, tell him tho story, and cet him to send over to Mr. Birch's for the trunk, and re turn it to Philadelphia by express. This course having been concluded upon, Cy rus wrote and mailed the letter to his father. The rest of the day would probably have been spent by Cyrus in tho enjoy ment of Fanny's letter and his recollec tions of her visit, had not his friends called upon hiiu to know if he had got back old " Cohen" for so they had bap tized tho "truncated" one, since little Myles' pun .When they heard the rest of the story they were wild with delight, and the osseous jokes that were made were worthy of tho inmates of a mad house. " It's such a mean old trunk," said lit tle Myles. " Nothing but a thin packing- box any way, and I don t believe .1 locked it last time. I'll bet any man ten dollars that old Cohen's out before this time." " They'll open it on tho cars when they hear it rattle," said Seymour. " You know people can only take wearing ap parel, and a skeleton is not wearing ap parel at least that ono is not wcanug my. Jt they think its lrcight, and take e out, it will result in J'riyht" suggested Myles ; and then, as usual, the uproar stopped the joking. The next morning, about nine o'clock, just asUyrusc:itliisbrciikfast,goton credit tiom the grocery store where he dealt , he received a telegram. It was from Mr. Birch, and contained these words: " You are viantcd here. Cume imme diate." Cyrus clutched his hair, stamped his foot, clapped on his hat, locked his door, rushed round to llciskcll's, forced from him four dollars and some seventy cents all he had and reached the Baltimore depot in time for the ten o'clock train. What his leelings, his fears, or his hopes were during the journey is not to be put on paper. At two o clock he had reached Baltimore. By half-past he was on his way in the Martiuville train to his desti nation. Keachiu; tho village, he had no money or desire to hire a carriage, and so started out to walk as rapidly us possible, the two miles and a hall that lay between him and Mr. Birch's house. Arriving there, hot and flustered, he walked through the open door, and hear ing voices in the diiuug-rooui, walked quickly in, and found a coroner's jury sitting upon the remains of the unfortu nate Cohen ! We will now relate tho circumstances which led to this inquest. The trunk had been taken to the hotel for safety, and Fanny, with her borrowed bacajjo ut the foot of htr bed, had slept the sweet sleep of an innocent maiden, without Leitiix troubled by the ghost of her quiet room mate. .Everything had gone on aduniu bly, and she arrived at Martiuville in "rood season, where her father was waiting for her in a buggy. lie was surprised that she brought another trunk, tor her ba gage had arrived early that morning; but she explained the matter, much to his merriment, and ho ordered tho station- master who was also express ageut and several other things to send tho trunk after them in a wagon. This the man promised to do; but having taken two trunks up there that morning, and ex peeting uo more jobs for that day, his wagon was undergoing some repairs at tno blacksmith s, and so ho could not promise to send it much before nightfall However, in an hour or two, alony; came Silas Hoopcs, a peripattie OTceu-roccr and general vender, who for half the or dinary ice oflered to take tho truuk to Mr. Birch s. lie was goiug that way and was always u;lad of an excuso to stot aiiy where on his route, even if it was not at the house ot a customer. On tho road Silas examined the trunk " Well, 1 rcckou," said ho, " I never saw such a common old truuk o to tho Birches' afore this day. Shouldn't won der if Miss Fanny'd been a-buying e'rositics up to l'hily. It's light, too. les, thats so; I thought it rattled when I put it in ; I don't doubt its shells, or a sew in machine, Jam t locked neither only strapped. They might as well'a locked it, lor hero s a hasp aud all. don't expect it's much, any how, or it 'ud a been locked. A slow drivo of a quarter of a mile now tollowcd. " 0' courso, there's no harm just look in' in, when it ain't lucked nor nuthiii. Everybody has looked. I'll bet." Just a little ahead was a turn in the road, and a largo tree at tho corner with a uice bit of smooth grass under it. It was just tho place for Silas' horso to rest and cool off a little; and so tho old man drew up there. Then ho whistled a little and looked about him carelessly. Then he stood up and looked around carefully. Then he unstrapped tho trunk. Then he whistled a few bars more, and raised the lid. On the other sido of a pretty thick lediro of cedar-trees and blackberry bush es was 'Squire Curtis with his gun. He had been watching for a shot, but when ho saw Silas stop and stand up to view the country, ho watched Silas. He had long suspected tho old chap, and what was he goiug to do now f " Oil ho I open a trunk, eh! and not his cither, or he'd waited till he d ;ot home 1 So softly through the hedgo came 'Squire Curtis, and the first instant Silas opened the trunk tho 'Squire had him by the collar. The yell which Silas gavo when Mr. Cohen languidly stuck up his two attenu ated legs, which had been tightly doubled up in the trunk, was only equaled by the shout from 'Squire Curtis. The horse started ; Silas loll backward out of the wagon ; the Squire stood like a man ot marble; and away went the wagon, with Cohen's legs dangling carelessly over the end of the truuk. "Whoso is that?" said the 'Squire, when his voice came to him. " Mr-r-r Birch's" chattered poor old Silas. " That's a lie." said the 'Squire. " He's not dead, I know. What have you been doing r Silas then explained that he knew nothing but that the trunk was to go to Mr. Birch s ; and who the ' corpse was, bless his soul and body, ho knew nothing liout it, but it might go to any place, Lcibrc ho would touch it; and upon this ha was lor cutting across the holds to his home. But the 'Squiro seized him, and forced him to hurry on after the horse ana wagon. J hey came up with it just as it reached Mr. Birch's gate ; aiid as Silas would not go near the wagon, the 'Squire had to seize the horse's head and turn him into the yard. It is useless to endeavor to describe the scene which took place in the happy family of Mr. Birch. Shrieks, fainting fits, shouts to take it away, and a gen eral scene of horror and confusion which had never ben known in that part of the county, was succeeded by the exodus, on foot, or in some one's arms, of all the women, and a council of the men. Silas told his story, not omitting in Ins fnuht, bis sin of curiosity. Mr. Birch went up stairs to question ianny, and only discov cred that she knew nothing, and that it must have got changed on tho cars ; and " Oh ! please never mention it again ! Oh dear! Oh dear!" It was finally concluded to put the re mains of " murdered man" in the stable for the night; and the 'Squire, who was the coroner for tho county, declared his intention of summoning a jury in the morning. 1 hat niuht, however, Mr Birch, who thought that Mr. Durham might be able to explain this though how ho knew not , sent the telegram. When Cyrus canio before tho jury and told the history of the skeleton, showed how all its joiuts and separato and nidi vidual bones were neatly joined and ar ticulated by means ot wires, and pulled from his pocket tho bill and receipt of the skillful artificer who had prepared the specimen, the jury found a verdict" Died ot some cause unknown. Cyrus then repacked Mr. Cohen, and sent In in by one ot Mr. Uireh smen to the station, to await orders; taking care this tune to lock the trunk. Mr. Durham did not go over to his father's house right away, but staid to supper, hanriy was still very nervous, and lie walked out into the garden with her to explain it all fully ; and ho ex plained it all to such an extent that she agreed, before tho conversation closed that when sho traveled in the future it should be with him, and they both should have the same trunks. - A Close Witness. At a recent inquiry before a parlia mcntary committeo, the following scone took place : Counsel for the. bill to wit- n Well, you called on Mr. Koberts and what did he say 1 Counsel oppnxed to the bill I object to the question ; it is not evidence. (Counsel then argue the point for thirty minutes.) Chairman of Committee The room must bo cleared until wo decide this matter. . (Room is cleared ; tho question, after being dis oused for forty minutes, is allowed, and parties are again called.) Counsel for the bill to toitnem Now then, sir, be care ful. You called ou Mr. Roberts ; what did he say 1 Wittiest Uq wasn't at home sir, so I didn't see him. Puhluhed by H quest. A WISH. WHERE is tiio robin, ana where Is his mate? And why don't tlicy coino and build? Tho snow Is still here, and tho spring Is so lato That tho flowers all will bo chilled. If winter could hear tho bird singing. I know He'd quickly bid farewell, and go. Under tho snow there are dandelions hid, Just waiting to open their eyes; And erociisss, dalscys and hyacinths too; And violets witli hue like the skies; Then come little songsters.aiid bring us good-cheer, And Spring, the fair maiden, soon will appear. Under the snow there are meadows of grain, And beds of the lovliest moss; O, I long for a walk down somo shady lane, Or a row, the old river across, And I'm only waiting for birds and bees, And a coat of green on the forest trees. Then, come, wren and bl ue-blrd, robin and dove, And build in the orchard your nests, While weaving, and singing a song of your lovo To the ono whom your heart loves the best; Spring hearing your music, will come, bringing flowers, And garland with beauty, our gardens and bowers. ill. K. MOVIiK. - Answer to nuzzlo In last week's Dancr- Mauiuascak. IIoay Michael Curci! His Tig. ll. MICHAEL Fagan is a very t I worthy repicsentativc from " Green Kriu," residing in a small village, near Boston. Michael is an industrious man, and strives hard to turn an honest penny whenever and however there may be tho slightest prospect ot prolit. Michael has a littlo patcli ot ground behind his house, where ho supports a lew ducks and chickens ; and the fresh- est eggs in the neighborhood can always be found on his premises; ior ho never allows himself to be possessed of more than a single dozen at a time. In addition to his stock of poultry, Michael purchased, this summer, a young pig ; which, alter lour months pettinj and nursing, ho prided himself upon ex hibiting to his friends and acquaintan ces, as the ' swatest crathur in the world. But Michael's pig took sick, lust week, and from his coughing and sneezing syuip toms, it was certainly evident he had contracted a bad cold. Close by tho residence of this honest Hibernian there dwells tho village physi cian a kind hearted man and very skill ful whoso practice is none ot tho lar gest. As he came from his house, a few mornings since, Michael stood at his gate ruminating upon the chances in favor of his favorite young porker; and, observing the doctor, hailed him : " The top o' tho moruin' to ye, doc thur !" Ah ! Michael, how are you?" " It's very well I am mysel', docthur; but perhaps ye II be tellin a poor man wot he 11 be a doin' for tho pig, sure?" " Piq .'" exclaimed the doctor, with suiile, " What pig? aud what's Flic matter with him '(" " Sure he's very bad, indade, so ho is A cowld, docthur. Snazin' and barkin' the head oil him a most, and 1 d like to know what I'll bo doin' wuth hiin'i"' " Well, really, Michael, I can't say. I'm not a pig doctor at any rate!" . " It's ineself as could say that sure. But s'p'osin' it were a baby instead the sweet crathur wot wud I bo doin wuth him for the cold ho has!"' " Well," continued tho doctor, consid cratcly, "if it werefchild, Michael, per haps 1 should recommend a mustard poul tice for his back, and that his feet be placed in hot water." "It's much oblecgcd to you, docthur, I am," responded Mike, as the physician passed along; and ho entered his dom icil. " Biddy," ho added addressing his good woman, " we'll euro tho pig, so we will." And in a littlo while tho snaizing por ker was enveloped in a strong mustard poultice, from his ears to his tail ! Not withstanding his struggles, and his sneez ing and torture from the action of the unyielding plaster a tub of almost boiling water was prepared and into it poor piggy was soused above his knees. Tho result may bo easily conceived. Next morning, bright and early, Mi chael stood at his littlo gate once more, awaiting the coming of tho doctor, who soon made his appearance, as usual. "Good morning, Mike; how's the pig?" ' 0, bo gorrah, doctor ! It was mighty oncivil on ye to bo a tratia' a neighbor that way, so it was." " Why what has happened, Michael;!" " Happened is it! I put the powltis on tho pig, so I did au' ho squailcd bloody miirthcr to be sure ; an tho wull came off his back from napo to dock !" "What!" " An' thin I put tho swait baist's feet into the hot watlier as ye bid me do, an' be jabers in five minits the hoof dropped off o' him iiitirch, too I so they did!" i'oor Michael iMigan I ho had spoken truly. Through his ignorance ho had blistered off the bristles, and with the hot water he had j-caldcd off the poor grunter a feet. lie died under this double dose. and though Michael has never since asked the doctor's advice upon similar matters, ho always insists that it was "amano tbrick, so it was !" A Collector. " And so you are married, Bridget ?" said a lady to her former servant. "And pray what is your husbands business? " Business is it inarm ?" " Yes. What does ho do for aliv- ins : " Shuro he's a collector." "A collector! Why, Biddy," said madamc whose ideas of a collector wero of a handsome judge of her acquaintance, who " ran the Custom House" " married a collector ! you don't say." " Shuro I do, marm, say that same." " A collector ! Why where is his of fice. " All over the city, marm," said Brid- rrnf "All over the city, replied madamo, beginning to wonder what Biddy was driving at; "and how much does he col lect V " Fifty or sixty pounds, and some days a hundred." " You mean fifty or sixty dollars, not pounds dollars, Bridget," said madamo, with emphasis. No, marm, I don't mane dollars, I mane grease:" " Grease?" " Shure I do, for Pat is a soap-greaso collector." Quits. Tho New York World tell the follow ing of Madame l'otcsdad, a noted horse woman and belle of tho National Capi tal. " On ono occasion, it is said, when staying at the Warm Springs, in Vir ginia, sho started out with a riding party for the warm spring Mountain, and dared tho gentlemen accompanying her to do what she did. This Mountain is quito high, and has at its summit a rock jutting out over a precipice. To the extreme verge of this rock Miss. Randolph rode, to the great consternation ot her friends. She did not even leave her horse room to turn round, but, having accomplished her purpose, sho backed him from tho dangerous position aud faced tho rest of the party in triumph. Not a man would lullow her example, but one youthful piece of inexperience stood on his bead in his saddle aud dared the lady to do that. Of courso she cried " quits." BA correspondent of tho American Churchman tells of a Baptist church in Illinois which had hired a Congregational minister to supply them for a year. When communion day arrived, it was planned that the minister should ex change with a Baptist pastor, but heavy rains prevented. What was to bo done ? A meeting was held, and concluded to al low their preacher to administer the Lord's Supper, but bo not having been im mersed should not partake with them ! Agreed. When the Sunday camo ho let a small piece of bread fall ou the carpet. Picking it up, and holding it between his thumb and finger, ho said, " Even tho dogs may eat tho crumbs which fall from tho master's table." And ho par took of the saiuo, much to tho surprise of tho congregation J There was many years ago a lazy man's society organized in a certain town in Oxford county, Mo. One, of the ar ticles required that no man belonging to tho society should ever bo in a hurry. Should ho violato this article he must treat tho other members. Now it hap pened on a timo that tho village doctor was seen driving post hasto through the stccets to visit a patient. The members of the society saw him. and" chuckled over tho idea of a treat, and on his re turn reminded him of his fast riding, and violation of the rules. " Not at all," said tho doctor ; " tho truth was my horso was determined to go, and I felt too lazy to stop him !" They did not catch him that time. t
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