The Bloomfield times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, March 29, 1870, Page 7, Image 7

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    l)c imc0, Nat) Bloomficft,
7
Philadelphia Advertisements.
Philadelphia Advertisements.
HUMOROUS ITEMS.
Philadelphia Advertisements.
BOOKSELLERS & STATIONERS.
SOWER, BARNES & TOTTS,
Ilooltsellcrs St Stationers,
And Dealers in
CURTAIN
AND
WALLPAPERS,
Nos. 530 Market and 523 Minor Streets,
PHILADELPHIA, PA.
Publisher!) of Sanders' New Headers, and
Biooks' Aiilliineties. AM(i, Robert's History of
tiie United Stales, Feltou's Outline Maps, &c.
BLAXK ItOOKS
Always on hand, and mado to Order. ' 31t
MILLER & ELDER,
llooksellers and Stationers,
BLANK DOOK MAN UFA CTU11ERS,
And Dealers in
WINDOW CURTAINS
AND
WALL PAPER,
No. 430, Market Street,
II PHILADELPHIA, PA.
CHARLES MAGARGE & CO.,
Wholesale Dealers in
Nos. 30, 32, and 34, South Sixth Street,
PHILADELPHIA, PA.
IS- Paper any Size, Weight, Color and Quality,
made to order, at short notice. lulyU
1.0 t il WAX'S
THIS FLUID is warranted EQUAL to Arnold's.
and is sold at niuen less price. Tiie money
will be refunded lo those buying it, if it does nut
prove entirely sut.slactory.
A. or saie by F. moiumer, New Ulooinllcld.
MILLER & ELDER,
Sole Aleuts,
430 Market Street,
13031 Philadelphia.
Hanking and Stocks.
BANKING HOUSE
Of
Jay Cooke & Co.,
113 AND 114 SOUTH THIRD STREET,
Philadelphia,
DBALEIIS IN ALL
GOVERNMENT SECURITIES.
Old 5-20s Wanted
IN EXCHANGE FOR NEW.
A LIBERAL DIFFERENCE ALLOWED.
Compound Interest Notes Wanted.
INTEREST ALLOWED ON DEPOSITS.
fc3T COLECTIONS made j 8TOCKS bought
and sold on Commission.
1ST SPECIAL business accommodations re
erred for LADIES. 3101
Glass and Queensware.
A. L. Kiub J. E. Fhbymihk.
KAUIS & FRYMIIIE,
Imi-oiitbrs and JomiBits or
China, G- lass
AND
QUEENSWA11E,
801 and S03, Cherry St., between Arch & Race,
PHILADELPHIA.
fiT Constantly on hand, Original Assorted
rcitajos. 19. v. ij iu
Philadelphia Advertisements.
DRUCS, MEDICINES AND PAINTS.
SIDDALL & MARKLEY,
Wholesale Druggists,
AMD DEALERS IN
Patent Medicines,
119 MARKET STREET, NEAR FRONT,
Philadelphia, Pa.
A FULL STOCK of evcrthlng connected with
the business, of the best quality, and at very
low prices. A good location for business, with a
low rent and light expenses, enables us to offer in
ducements to buyers, and makes It worth their
wlillc to give us a trlaL
Philadelphia, 3. 8tf.
John Lucas & Co.,
Sole and
THE ONLY
MANUFACTURERS
or TUB
IMPERIAL FRENCH,
AND
PURE SWISS GREEN,
Also, Pure
White Lead and Color
MANUFA CTUItERS,
Nos, Ml and 143 North Fourth St.,
Philadelphia.
SAYES LABOR !
Saves Time !
SAVES MONEY!
-yyAINRIGHT & CO'S
Labor-Saving Soap
Will be found the best in use. With this. Soap
washing may be done with half the labor required
when any other is used, and the saving in wear to
clothes is really astonishing. It will cost only Fif
teen Cents to try it, and after that you will use no
other.
ft. For sale by all Grocers, and by F. Mortimer,
New lMoomllcld, Pa. 317
" The Red Horse Powders"
rjUIE BEST POWDERS in the World for
HORSES,
CATTLE,
HOGS,
OR POULTRY.
They will not only prevent, biit will Cure diseases,
and are the Cheapest, as well as the best Horse
l'owders in use. Try t hem. For sale by Stores anil
Druggists generally, and by F. Moutimbu, New
Bloonilleld, Pa. 33otf
Worth its Weight in Gold!
rjMIIS is what everybody who has used it says of
NESMITII'S LINIMEXT.
For Rheumatic Pains it will give instant relief
and effect a permanent cure in a short time.
It is also the best remedy in the World for Cuts,
Sprains, ltrulses and lturm, and not only giving
prompt relief from pain, but heals without leaving
any sear. All who have tried it, say no family
should be without it, for it is worth its weight in
gold.
. Try a bottle of It I No euro, No Pay. 317
a For sale at F. Mortimer's.
Hardware, Cc.
LLOYD, SUPPLEE, & WALTON,
WHOLES A LB
HARDWARE HOUSE,
No. 625 Market Street,
Philadelphia.
E S T E Y S
01 REAT INDUCEMENTS oiTered to Churches
T and Sunday Schools. Organs and Melodeous
for sale on luouihly instalments.
E. M. BRUCE,
No. 18 North Seventh St.,
lWltt PHILADELPHIA.
DRY COODS HOSIERY A NOTIONS
BARCROFTTca,
Importers and Jobbers
Of Staple and Fancy
DRY - GOODS,
Cloths,
Cassimercs,
Blankets,
Linens, White Goods, Hosiery, etc.,
Nos. 405 and 407 MARKET STREET,
(Above Fourth, North Side,)
Philadelphia.
r S. T. AUGE & CO., 'J
Philadelphia, Pa,, J
John Shaffner, Jr. E. S. Z.cgler. Thoo. Rumcl
SHAFFNER, ZIEGLER & CO.,
Successors to
SHAFFNER, ZIEGLER & CO.,
Importers and Dealers in
Hosiery,
Gloves,
llibhons,
Suspenders,
THREADS, GO MBS,
and every variety of
TRIMMINGS
AND
FANCY GOODS,
No. 30, North Fourth Street,
PHILADELPHIA, PA.
Agents for Lancaster Combs.
Hoots, Shoes, Hats and Caps.
W. P. KOlILEIt,
JOBBER IN
Hats, Caps, Furs,
AMD
Stra av - O- o o 1
153 NORTH THIRD8TREET,
3 9 ly 10 PHILADELPHIA.
W. W. Paul.
D. J. Hoar.
II. L. Hood.
A. Trimble.
WM. W. PAUL & CO.
WUOLESALB
BOOT AND SHOE
WAREHOUSE,
023 Market St. and 614 Commerce Street,
Philadelphia, Penn'a.
MISCELLANEOUS.
JJRADBURY'S AND OTHER
PIANOS.
lay lor & Parley's and E. P. Needham Son's
ORGANS AND MEL0DE0NS.
WAS O. FISCHER,
General Wholesale Agent,
1018 Arch Street and 21 North Eleventh Street,
3 42 6m. PHILADELPHIA
JEXXSYLVANIA ELASTIC SPONGE CO.
No. 1111 CHESTNUT STREET PHILADELPHIA.
ELASTIC SPONGE,
A Substitute for Curled Hair,
FOR ALL UPHOLSTERY PURPOSES.
It is cheaper than feathbks or haiii. and much
superior, being the lightest softest and most elastlu
material known
FOR MATTRESSES. PILLOWS, CARRIAGE,
CAR, AND CHAIR CUSHIONS.
Itlsindestructablo.free from dust, perfectly clean
and for the sick is unequaled.as if soiled it iseasily
cleaned.
IT DOES NOT PACE
And is entirely free from Moth
Persons are requested to examine Vie Cushion
Sponge at the office of the comjHiny,
Feb 8tfJ No. 1111 CHESTNUT STREET.
CROCERIES AND PROVISIONS.
C. P. KXIUIIT & HllO'S,
Wholesale Dealers in
1 I S H ,
Cheese
AND
Provisions,
114 South Delaware Avenue,
Below Chestnut St.,
PHILADELPHIA, PA.
Agents for
Collins, Ucddcs & Co's Canned Fruits.
io4itr
S. 11. TAYJLOIl,
WITH
WAINWRIGHT & CO.
WHOLESALE GROCERS
AND
TEA DEALERS,
North East Corner of 2nd and Arch Street?,
Philadelphia Pa
Vf. A. Atwood. Isaac W. Ranck.
ATWOOD, RANCK & CO.,
Commission Merchants,
AND
Wholesale Dealers in all kinds of Pickled and Salt
F I S II ,
No. 210 North Wharves, above Race Street,
3 40 6m0 PHILADELPHIA, PA.
WHOLESALE
& GROCERS
January 1. 1SG9.
WOOD AND WILLOW WARE.
OllAYKILL & CO.,
Wholesale Dealers in
Carpets,
Oil Cloths,
Shades,
Brooms,
Carpet Chain,
Batting, Wadding, Twines, &c,
And a fine assortment of
Wood and Willow Ware,
No. 343, North Third Street,
Philadelphia, Pa.
January 1, 1869.
TOBACCO SECARS AC.
Thomas Robb. A. J. McConkey.
ROBB & McCONKEYi
Commission Merchants,
And Wholesale Dealers in
LEAF AND MANUFACTURED
TOBACCOS, SEGARS, &C,
No. 13 North Fifth Street,
(Between Market and Arch,)
PHILADELPHIA, PA.
1041tf
A. B. Cunningham. J. H. Lcwars. J. S.Gleim.
Cunningham, Gleim & Co.,
Wholesale Dealers in
Tobacco, Segars, &c,
NO. 408 MARKET STREET,
ABOVE FOURTH,
PHILADELPHIA.
38310
JB2f A Lcwiston man snvs flint if ever
ho builds a house ho will have folding
doors " they're so haudy in case of a
funeral !"
Bis Dinnnr fnr nril.liinrr !a ra rrnnA
. , , o ' WJ ft""-
lun : but you can t say as much of noth
ing lor dinner.
Biff" Depredations on the males
searching husbands' pockets while they
are sleeping.
X" A pedant remarked to a farmer,
" I cannot hear a fool." l'our mother
could," was the reply.
$f&A handsome young lady being
asked if she ever gave a kiss, replied,
" No ; but I have often had one stolen."
A New Zealand chief maintained
that he had a good title to his land, be
cause ho had eaten its former owner.
Some one called Richard Steele
the " vilest of mankind.' He retorted
with proud huniilty,"It would be a
glorious world if I were.
JBST" A lodging-house keeper adver
tises to furnish " gentlemen with pleasant
nud comfortable rooms, also one or two
gentlemen with wives."
B A London merchant advertised
for a clerk who could " bear confinement "
He received an answer from one who
had been seven years in jail.
J8 A friend of ours was congratu
lating himself upon having recently taken
a very pleasant trip. Upon inquiry, wo
found that he had tripped and fell into a
young lady's lap.
BSf The captaiu of a privateer, who
had been in an engagement, wrote to his
owners that he hud received but little
damage, having only one of his hands
wounded in the nose.
Horace Walpole tells a story of
a Lord Mayor of Loudon in his time,
who, having heard that a friend had tho
smallpox twice, and died of it, asked if
he died the first time or the second.
BSf An Alabama editor, in puffing
a grocery kept by a woman, says " Her
tomatoes are red us her own cheeks ; her
indigo as blue as her own eyes ; and her
pepper as hot as her own temper.
SSyLady Beaulieu was complaining
of being awoke by a noise in the night;
her lord (an Irishman) replied, " Oh,
for my part, there's no disturbing me ;if
they don't wake me beforo 1 go to sleep,
there's no waking mo afterwards."
HQ?" A Teutonic philosopher was salu
ted by one of his Iriends. " How are
you, Toot?" tho philosopher stopped,
posed his stick on the pavement, and
replied : " Well' wat's the use of gom
pluiuiu'? Ven I gomplain, beeple tink I
vauta toporrow mouish; ven I don't
gomblaiu, they tiuk I have monish to
lend."
HA promising young shaver of five
or six years was reading his lesson at
school one day, in the deliberate manner
for which urchins of that age are some
what remarkable. As he proceeded with
his task he came upon tho passago,
" Keep thy tongue from evil and thy lips
from guile." Master Hopeful drawled
out, Keep thy tongue from evil
and thy lips from girls."
A CAPE COD ROMANCE.
Two lovers stood upon the shore,
Of Massachusetts Bay
Bidding a sad farewell beforo
Seth tore himself away.
'I'll marry you when I come back,
My Sally Ann," says he
And then he took a little smack,
And went away to sea,
JBSfCupt. Jones was a great truveler,
and lbnd of telling largo stories, some of
which being doubted ho proved by
making his affidavit of their truth.
When ho died, the following epitaph,
was inscribed on his tomb tone :
"Tread softly mortals o'er the bones
Of the world's wonder. Captain Jones j
Who told his glorious deeds to many,
But never Was believed by any.
Posterity let this sulllce :
He swore all's true, yet here he lies."
JteSr A young lawyer obtained a divorco
for a pretty and wealthy client. Ho
sent in n bill for $1,000. Tho next day
iho lndy culled on him, and inquired if
ho was in earnest in rnnosing to her.
" Proposo to ytu, Madam 1 I didn't pro
pose to you," replied the astonished at
torney. " Well you asked for my fortune,
nud 1 thought you would have tho graco
to take me with it." was the calm reply.
The lawyer wiltoJ.