The Bloomfield times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, January 25, 1870, Page 3, Image 3

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

    I)c mc0, ftnu Bloamftelir,. h.
3i
jJoxttcul sjrfjertians..
0VE3 AND 0VE3 AGAI2T,
o
VKK and over niiin,
N'o matter which way I turn,
I always tlml in the Hook of Life
Koine lessons 1 have to learn.
1 must take my turn at the mill,
1 must, hi linl out the golden grain,
1 must work at my task with a resolute will-
Over and over again.
A e ominot measure the need
Of even the tiniest tlower.
Nor check the How of the golden sands
That run through a single hour,
lint I he morning dew must fall ;
And the sun and the summer rain
Must do their part, and perform it all
Over and over again.
Over and over again
Tin; hrook through the meadow Hows,
And over and over again
The ponderous mill-wheel goes..
Once doing will not sufllee,
Though doing lie not in vain :
And a Messing, failing once or twice,
May come If we try again.
The path that has once lcen trod
Is never so rough to feet ;
Ami the lesson we once have learned
Is never so hard to repeat.
Though sorrow fill tears may fall.
And Ihe heart to its depth be driven
"With storm and tempest, we need them all
To render us meet for Heaven.
A Geographical Enigma.
I AM COMPOSED 01' TWKI.VE IXTTKH3.
My 1, 4. ?, 2 and 11 Is a town In lirazil.
My 3, 3. and 12 is a town In Scotland.
My 3, 11, 10 and 11 Is a town in Africa.
My i. 10, 7, 8 and 5 is a town in Mexico.
My 5. 2, 1, 8 and 7 is a town In Morocco.
My (i, 8, 12 and 4 is a town in Arabia.
My 7, 2, 7, 12 and 4 is a mountain In Austria.
My 8, 1, 1 and 1 Is a town in Hungary.
My 0, 10 and U is a town In Peru.
My 10, 11. 7 and 8 is a town in Chill.
My 11, 1 and 9 is a town in Denmark.
My 12, 8, 1 and 3 is a town in Hohemia.
My whole Is the name, of a distinguished Toot
and Traveler.
- Answer to Knignia in No. 1, Volume 4 The
lilooomjlcld Times.
A TRAP FOR LOVERS:
on
A Pair of Boots.
M
ISS LYDIA AYIIITE had two lnv
Tom Greene anil Willie Jones.
Both were good-looking, -well-to-do
vouncr mechanics, and both loved her de
votedly, if their own vehement Assertions
could bo credited. Lydia was in some
thing of a dilemma concerning them.
'She had no particular preference for
either of them, but she wanted to be mar
ried sometime, and Mr. White was op
posed to long courtships, and Aunt Jane
kept assuring her that her bed and table
linen would get yellow with being pack
ed away in the bureau so lone;; and she
also took .frequent opportunities of re
marking that " none of her girls were
ever single after they had reached the age
of eighteen ; no not a uiinit !"
And as Lydia counted her years four
more than eighteen, oLcourse this hitter
insinuation of Jane's cut deeply.
Lydia turned the matter over seriously
in her mind and argued it, with herself,
pro and ton. Which she should take,
Green ur Jones,? . - . .
She. was in some degree romantic, and
she had indulged in gorgeous dreams of
marrying a second Napoleon as to cour
age; in fact if there was any quality that
she especially admired in a man, it was
bravery.
When she said anything about this in
the hearing of Tom or Willie, they beg
ged t put them to the test they would
joyfully die for her if she stood in need
of such a sacrifice, they assured her over
and over again.
One Sunday evcuiug, as indeed was
frequently the, case, Jones and Green
happened to call at Lydia's at about the
.same time. . . ,
Lydia went out of the room about nine
o'clock on the pretenco of bringing a book
of engravings, but she bhortly' returned
in groat perturbation.
" What is it ? What is the matter ?"
cried the two lovers in eager chorus.
"Oh, dear me!" cried Lydia, " such a
dreadful, dreadful thing! Who would
have thought in our peaceful community !
Oh, Mr. Jones, Mr. Green! You can
inot think how glad, how rclioved I am
that you are here. ' I should be frighten
ed to death were it otherwise !" and she
clung first to one and then to the other
,with a confidence perfectly infatuating.
"Tell us what it is!" cried Green.
" EwJjjfhten us us to the cause of this
emotion !" said Jones, who had been to
the Chicken Valley Academy two ' quar
ters,' and used some large words.
" Oh, you are both so - brave !" cried
Lydia admiringly " 1 feel as if I were
protected by an army I"
Green drew himself up to his iull
height, which was just five feet, and it
must be confessed that beside the Her
culean Jones, ho looked like a Bantam
rooster beside a shanghac.
" Command nie !" said Green, "only
let nie do your bidding."
"Ask my existence," said Jones,
" and it shall bo given free as the streams
givo to the sounding ocean."
I lush !" cried Lydia, " don't speak so
loud! He may hear you and take the
alarm and kill us all before you have a
chance to capture him."
"He? who? what ?" demanded Jones,
in a tragic whisper.
" Hush ! for pity's sake." said Lydia,
" he s up stairs in the spare room ! ln-
uor tne bed I J'atlier had a hundred dol
lars paid hint him yesterday for a cow,
and this is a plan to rub the house. I
saw Ins boots stick out Ironi under the
counterpane."
" Good heavens !" cried Green, getting
behind Jones.
"And such, big boots, too," said Lydia,
" twelves, I am sure !"
" Jupiter ! what a giant he must be !"
said Jones.
"Tom! Oh, Willie! protect me!"
cried Lydia pathetically, and they both
protested that they would shield her with
the last drop of their blood.
" Then go up stairs and seize the vil
lian," said Lydia.
" You had better go first," said Jones,
I don't know the way ."
" Nor I." said Green, "and you're the
biggest ; it belongs to you to lead on."
" 1 will show you the way," said Ly
dia. And the two gallant men reluctantly
followed her up stairs. She opened the
door of the spare chamber softly, aud
they saw the boots very distinctly; a
most extremely dirty pair of cowhides,
which looked as though their owner had
tramped through twenty miles of swamp,
and made no acquaintance with, rugs and
scrapers afterward.
" A a mighty big man he must
be, with such a pair of feet." said
Jones. " Hadn't we better call your fa
ther and Mr. Berry, the hired man ?"
" I think wo had," said Green tim
ely. " I don't," said Lydia, decidedly.;
" See ! I believe the boots are moving.
Oh, goodness me !"
And, as she screamed, Jones and Green
simultaneously made a rush for the cham
ber door. Jones stumbled over a wash
stand and" went headlong to. the foot of
the stairs, wash-stand and all. And Ly
dia, by clinging to the skirts of Mr.
Green's coat, kept him from following his
rival.
" What in the deuce is to pay here ?"
asked Jack Berry, appearing on the
scene in his shirt and trousers, and his
curly light hair standing out all over his
head, like the bristles on a lamp chimney
brush.
" Lydia points to the boots.
"Don't touch him," whined Green.-
" lie may have a pistol or something
about him, and hurt somebody."
"You chicken-livcrcd whelp! cried
Berry, " you're afraid to seo what's be
hind the boots, are ye ? Wall. I'll show
you."
And Berry seized tho frightful objects
and gave a pull so strong that he went
over backwards on the floor, with a boot
in cither hand.
"tjupuen ne criea, " i. never saw
any boots come off so easy as that are.
Let's seo the feet." And diving under
the bed he lifted the counterpane aud
displayed nothing.
" But whore is tho owner of theboots ?"
cried lie, scratching his hose aud looking
infinitely puzzled.
" Here !" said Pa White, appearing at
the door, " I'm the owner, and hero I've
been hearing this drafted noise for the
last ten minutes, and thinking there was
a fire over to the corner. But no sign of
my boots could 1 find. Who put 'em
there, Lyddy ?"
But Lydia was bathing Berry's nose.
Green and Jones had sense euough to see
that they wero dc-trop.
And they took there departure without
any elaborate farewells.
By jinks," said green to Jones, on
their way homo, " I've got an idea ; it's
my opinion that jade of a girl put them
boots there, on purpose to try us."
" Of course she did," said Jones, sul
kily; "women are as deceitful us tho
devils
A Valuable Witness.
rjlIIMOTIHULt day there was a enso in
I court where our friend Pinto was to
figure as n witness. His testimony was
to fix the fact definitely whether the de
fendant was nt a certain point at twenty
five or thirty minutes before or after a
certain hour.
He went on the stand, took the oath,
and then looked clown at the counsel
awrifing tho questioning.
" Do you understand this case, Mr.
Pinto?" asked the counsel.
" I think I do, sir," replied Pinto ; " I
was present when it was opened and. can
testify "
" Not yet sir ; not yet," said the coun
sel. " When the incident occurred on which
it is based were you present ?"
" Of course I was; Jim asked in half
a dozen of us. There was Tim Grovcr,
and. Bill Jcwett, and "
" That is not to the purpose, Mr.
Piato. Now tell the jury the exact time
when this happened ?"
" As nearly as I can remember, it was
about eleven o'clock, because Tim Gro
vcr "
" No matter about Tim G rover. May
it not have been twenty-fivo minutes past
eleven ?"
" Yes, perhaps it might ; but Bill Jew-
ctt r-"
" We will dispense with Jewett. What
we wish to know is, whether Muggs, the
defendant, was present at Jones's at twenty-five
minutes past eleven or not ? Can
you swear that lie was there at that time,
sir V"
" Of course I can, Jim said "
" No matter what Jhn said. Y'ou can
now sit down,"
" Stay," said the counsel for the de
fendant, and he stayed.
" Mr. Pinto," said the counsel, "was
you at Jones's on the 20th of March, at
twenty-five minutes before eleven o'clock V
" Yes sir."
" Are you sure about the hour 1"
" Yes sir."
" Now tell the jury what you know
about this case."
' Jim said said he had a case of rare
old gin, and asked us in to try it, and so
Tim G rover and Bill Jewett "
" And Muggs ?" said the counsel for
the plaintiff.
" No, Muggs wasn't there then."
" Well, when, did he come in asked
the counsel.
"He didn't come in ai all."
" But you were there at twenty-five
minutes before eleven?"
' And twenty -five minutes past eleven ?"'
said one of the jurymen, waking up.
" Yes."
" Explain yourself," said the court,
sternly. t
" Why, your honor, Jim Jones had a
case of gin, and Tim G rover and Bill
Jewett and I went to his place about
eleven o'clock
" Twenty-five minutes before, your
honor," said the counsel for the defence.
" Well, gentlemen," said Pinto, " I was
there from ten o'clock till twelve.
" Twould be impossible to open and dis
pose of a case of gin in halt' an hour ."
" But was Muggs there at all?" asked
the counsel for tho defence.
" Not that I saw."
" Then what is the case that you are
trying to prove?" asked the judge, se
verely, " Tho enso of gin," said Pinto.
" You may sit down, sir," said the judge.
J?.3" A dry genius, who has occasion to
visit town daily from one of tho "rural
districts" recently passed u farm bouse
near which the occupant had been butch
ering something less than a dozen very
small pigs, the result of tho day's labor
being hung upon along pole facing the
street. Our genius deliberately stopped
his team and usked the farmer what he
was doing ? " Butchering !" was the quick
reply. "Oh." says the driver, " I thought
you wcro dipping candles !" and ho has
tened bis horses into a trot to make up
for lost time.
tif$P An editor in New Jersey brings
delinquent subscribers to his counter by
publishing obituary notice of them.
When they have paid arrears, ho contra
dicts the report of their death by saying
they were only " dead beats."
fciF Tho barber's trade was brought
from Sicily to Home, two hundred and
ninety-nine years .before Christ. The
barbers wero incorporated with the Sur
geon's Company in London, in 1540, aud
agaiu seperated in the year 1741.
flfiF A hint for life insuranco eom-
! pauies Honesty tho best "policy." .
Tliat New Law.
IT IS SAID that Horace Greeley in
tends to petition for tho passage of
tho following law. We don't know how
true it is, but give our readers a chance
to read the law, as proposed.
Tobacco chewers are requested to get
their tobacco from first hands, which is
the first man you meet who will give you
a chew.
Where parties arc in the habit of bor
rowing chews, the government will fur
nish each man with a note book, in which
the time of day, the size of the quid,
whether plug or fine cut, the quality and
the time when tho amount is to be refund
ed, must be strictly recorded.
Those parties who have been inno
cently using unstamped tobacco, will
call on the nearest revenue officer and
give in, as. near as possible, the amount
which they believe has been con-mined
ineoi&cer will lurnish the ne -essarv
stamps, and if they are chewed up in his
presence, the government is then satisfied
that no criminal wrong was meant.
Those persons who maliciously carry,
two boxes one filled with base smoking
tobacco to give to borrowers; the other
containing superb fine cut for home con
sumtion -are to be treated as deserving
of death, and hung on the spot.
No tobacco box must have more than
two spigot holes in it, aud the stamps
must be pasted directly over these.
When a quid has been exhausted, the
government expressly forbids its being
thrown away until two red chalk marks
have been made across it, and a label at
tached, bearing these words : " The fel
low who chewed this has complied with
all the requirements of tho law, and per
sons are hereby warned not to chew this
quid again."
Tobacco consumers must constantly
bear in mind that the more stamps there
are on a package cf tobacco, the cheaper
docs the weed become in a horn.
The government strictly forbids the
use of those tobacco boxes which have a
concealed needle inside a nob on the co
ver, by which one forgets his desire for a
chew after having the instrument run
into his thumb about a foot.
The government has witnessod with,
supreme sorrow, many young men, and
old men, also, when they have observed
an acquaintance smoking a cigar, come
right out boldly. And ask : " Ilnveyou
the mate to that?" Hereafter, in all
such cases, the person asked will exhibit
the following label, which the govern
ment will furnish on demand ; " Ask me
tor ten cents.
Hartley's Trial.
WHAT do you know about John
Hartley's sleeping in uicetinir?"
demanded Justice Wilson, of a witness
before him.
"1 know all about it; " taint no secret, I
guess." replied tho witness.
"Then tell us about it; that's just
what we want to know.
" Well, (scratching his head,") tho Ions,
and the short of it is, John Hatdlcy is a
hard-working man; that is, ho works
mighty hard doing nothing, and that's
tho hardest work there is done. It will
make a feller-sleep quicker than poppy
leaves. So it stands to reason that
1 lartley would naturally be a very sleepy
sort of a person. Well, tho weather is
sometimes naturally considerable warm,
and Parson Moody's sarmon is sometimes
rather heavy-like
" Stop, Stop 1 No reflections upon
Parson Moody ; that's uot what you were
called for."
"I, don't cast no reflections upon
Parson Moody. I was only tollinsr what
I know about John Hartley's sleeping in
meeting."
" Well go on ; and tell us about that.
You were not called here to testify about
Parson Moody."
" That's what I'm trying to do, if you
wouldn't keep putting me out. And it's
my opiniou iu warm weather, folks is con
siderable apt to sleep in meeting ; 'special
ly when the sarmon I mean, 'specially
when they get pretty tired. I know I
find it pretty hard work to got by seventh
ly and eighthly in the sarmon myself; but
if I once get by there 1 generally get into
a kind of waking train again, and mako
out to weather it. But it isn't so with
Hartley. I've generally noticed if he
begins to gape at seventhly and eighthly,
it's a gone goose with him before he gets
through tenthly, and ho has got to look
out for another prop for. his head some
where, stiff enough to hold it up. And
from tenthly to sixteenthly he's as dead
as a door nail, till tho amen brings the
people up to prayers, and Hartley comes
up with a jerk, just like oponing a
knife,"
SUNDAY READING. .
The only true freeman is he who
has attained to self-control.
Hrt Boast only of your self-possession
when it has been tried. " f ; ,"
t8 Some of our choicest blessings,
have been forced upon us. i
Sfi Men are 'never placed in such ex
tremes, but that there is light to guide
them.
JCS?" Works arc good and acceptable to.
God only as they spring from and centre
in love to him.
63y The Christian's cup may be brim-,
ful of sorrow ; but for him the overflowing .
drop is never added.
fT Vice does not pay ; the sin is less;
sweet than we fancied, audit costs more,
than wo barsainod for.
MS Whether God comes to Ilischil-.
dren with a rod or a crown, if he conies
Himself with it, it is well.
fay Who gives anything, food or
clothing, to a beggar, and does not ex-,
pect thanks ? Yet how many who re
ceive God's daily bounties, and ask every
morning for God's daily bread, forget to.
give God thanks !
JE"" Have you ever heard of the great;
clock of St. Paul's in London. At mid
day, in tho roar of business, when car
riages, and carts, and wagon3 and omni
buses, go rolling through the streets, how
many ucver hear the clock strike unless
they live very near by it. But when the
work of the'day is over, and the roar of
business has passed away, when men are
gone to sleep, and silence reigns in Lon
don, then at twelve, at one, at two, at
three, at four, the sound of that clock may
he heard for miles around ! Twelve !
ono ! two! three ! four! How that clock
is hoard by many a sleeplrs3 man.
That clock is just like the conscience of
the impenitent man. While he has health
and strength, and goes on in the whirl of"
business, he will not hear his conscience.
He drowns and silences its voice by
plunging into the world. He will not al
low the inner man to speak to him.
But the day will come when conscience
will bo heard, whether he likes it or not.
Tho day will come when its voice will
sound iu his cars, and pierce him like a
sword. The time, will como when he
must retire from the world, and lie down
on the sick bed, and loci: death iu the
face. Ami then the clock of conscience,
that solemn clock, will sound in hishcarf,
and, if he has not repented, will bring
wretchedness und misery to his soul. Oh,
no, without rcpeutn nee, no peace. " There
is no peace, saith my 0"d, to the wicked."
Reader, have you repented ? Tf not,'
will you repent to-day? To-day, if ye
will hear His voice, harden not your
hearts !" , : ,
(Jlel:ly.;
Quickly, young man! Life is short.
A great work is before you. , If you
would succeed in business, with your
way to lienor, and save your soul, you
must do with your might what your
hands find to do. You must work fast
and well. The sluggard dies. The
wheel of time rolls over him, nnd crush
him while he sleeps. Aim high and
work hard. Life is worth the living,
and heaven worth the gaining, nnd all
will be won or lost while the day goeth
away.
Quickly, ye men of business and
might ! Your life is more than half gone
already. You have passed the crest of
the hill, and are looking toward the set
tingsun. The young man who walks by
your side, aud calls you father, is grow
ing tall and man-like, aud begirds to talk
of the great things he will do. Ho will
increase, but you will decrease. If you
have anything yet to do for God pr your
own soul, you must do it quickly. Shad
ows are falling and the night comcth.
Quickly, ye aged man! Once you
thought three-score and ten to be an end
less time, nnd that so many years would
never pass a way. They have come and
gono. 1 hey have left their mark upon
you. Have you left any monuments of good
done, or made a record of a God glori
fied? You havo come to infirmities and
trembling. Have you come to masterly
faith, and hope that looks steadfastly to
to the end 1
Ah ! quickly, ye aged fathers and gray
haired s'ncs ! Already the messengers of
death begin to tender their services, and
the end is at hand. PrelyU:rian. '