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HOW I WAS SWINDLED.
A Dlnmoud Story.
""NLY once, gentlemen," said Mr.
V William Henry Baker, "have
1 been deceived. 1 generally keep my
eyes open and use tiiem too. Mill, 1 ad
mit I wasonce taken in, by as dead a
swindle as could be ; 1 am not ashamed
to own it. I made money by it, after all,
but 1 teas swindled.
" It was about a diamond ring.
knew the fellow who had it for many
years in the way of business. lie was a
commercial traveller, and used always to
flash this ring about when he came round
ou his journeys. A jeweler friend of
mine, who happened to be in my office
once when Mr. Blook called, asked, I re
member to be allowed to examine it : and
had pronounced the stones to be diamonds
or the purest water, telling me afterwards
the ring was worth abut seventy pounds.
Mr. Blook's initials were engraved inside
the hoop of the ring : ' It. B. ' : and be
sides that, it was a ring of peculiar and
rather old-fashioned make. Indeed hav
ing once seen the ring, uo one would be
likely to mistake it for another. Well,
Mr. Blook got into difficulties, and went
so entirely to the bad, that I never saw
or heard anything more of him. But
about t770 years afterwards, whilst walk
ing down a back street, my eye was taken
by a ring exhibited m a pawnbroker s
window. ' Mr. Blook's ring,' I exclaim
ed directly : ' I'll swear to it.' It was in
a tray with a number of very seedy-look
ing rings, and was as discolored and dlv-
ty as they were. I went into the shop
and asked to look at it. luo pawnbro
ker, an old Jew, said yesh ; I might see
his ringsh, but he didn t know mosh
about ringsh hinishelf. They wosh un
redeemed pledges, thash what they
wash and they wosh all marked at the
advanshed upon them with a very shmall
overplus for inteersh thash all ho knew.
" 1 hero was no mistake about it. It
was Mr. Blook's ring, and had his ini
tials inside. But how did the Jew get
it ! He would soon tell me. Referring
to his book, he found that it had been
pawned two years ago in the name of
Smith." Thash all he knew. Would I
buy ? It wosh dirt sheap three pounds
twelve ; and cosht him all the mouish !'
" Three pounds twelve !' I repeated,
thinking he had made a mistake ; for the
was worth twenty times that amount 1
'"Well, if it was too dear ho had
some sheaper ones, beautiful ringsh, ho
dare shay, but he knew so little about
ringsh, you slice, exshept that he always
advanshed too mosh monish on them.
One couldn't understand everything in
his bishness, you shee, from flat-ironsh to
diamonsh.'
" I bought the ring, after beating the
Jew down half a crown, partly to pre
vent his suspecting its value, and partly
well knowing the disposition of the
people to oblige him.
" I wore the new purchase about, with
no littlo inward satisfaction at having
bettered a Jew at a bargain. Iu my own
mind, I accounted for its coining into his
possession somewhat in this way : Mr.
Blook must havo sold the ring when in
difficulties to sonic one else, it was quite
certain that Mr. Blook had not pawned
it at the Jew's or Jew would have known
its value. The ring must, then, have
either been lost by, or stolen from, a
subsequent possessor ; and the finder, or
thief (whatever it happened to be), be
ing iguorant of its value, had taken it "to
tho Jew, who knew uo better.
" There is a certain commercial club
in our town, which I occasionally visit.
The members are of a somewhat lively
disposition; generally giveu to indulge
in that playful style of banter popularly
known as ' chaff.' My diamond ring
eamo in for a good share of it. I can
staud chaff as well as most men ; but I
put it to you, if, when you know very
well your brilliants are real, it isn't a lit
tle aunoying for the chaff of a whole
body of people to assume the character
of a persistent disbelief in tho value of
your jewelry: 1 or instance, tho waiter
answers the bell.
" ' Did any gentleman ring?'
" ' 0, yes,' ono of the members would
retort ; " it wa the gentleman with tho
paste diamonds.'
" Again, there are kinds of sham bril
liants known as Irish diamonds and Islo
of Wight Diamonds. Tho club (not ono
or two members, but tho wholo body) re
fused to recognize such distinctions, and
insisted on designating the wholo class of
shams as ' Baker's Diamonds.' Baker's
Paste,' my gems were also denominated.
They actually sent mo by post a circular
of Some body's Baking Powder, adding
to it at the end, whero it says tho public
is respectfully cautioned anainst SDurlous
imitations, 1 but more jwrliculary a;ainnt
a Kpuriou preparation to iteceme the un
wary, known us " linker' Paste." Now,
after two or three weeks, this became
tiresome. Still, I took no notice, and
effected not to think the remarks in
tended for mo.
" hardly know what made me go and
call on my friend, tho jeweler. It was
not that I had any doubt of the genuine
ness of tho diamonds, especially as he
was tho very man who had before valued
Mr. Blook's ring at seventy pounds.
But it had been so dinned into my head
they were false that 1 wanted just a for
mal confirmation of the estimate he had
previously formed of their worth.
" ' 0 yes,' said my friend, the jeweler ;
' I recognize the ring again directly.
Want to know what it's worth ?' he put
it in the scales Well, h'ni about
seven-aud-twenty shillings for old gold.'
" ' Eh,' said 1, as pale as a turnip.
' Why, didn't you tell me it was worth
seventy pounds ?"
" ' Yes,' he answered ; when it had
diamonds in it not when it was paste.'
" Talking the matter over, tho jeweler
suggested, that on Mr. Blook getting in
to difficulties, the first thing he did was
to sell the diamonds out of his riug, and
get their places supplied with paste,
whilst finally, he had pawned it himself
with tho jew, as a paste ring.
'"Well, William Henry,' said I to
myself, the Jew has jewed you, and the
club has chaffed you, and you may con
sider yourself trod upon, after the man
ner of speaking.'
" But the worm will turn.
" ' Did the jeweler let out tfiamouds
ou trial ?' I asked.
" Ho did.
" ' Would he have a certain alteration,
which 1 suggested made in my ring iu
a fortnight's time ?'
" He would.
"'And keep it secret?'
" 1 Certainly, business was business.'
" For the whole of that fortnight I
never went near tho club; that was prob
ably the reason why my appearance at
the club-dinner was greeted with such
lively sallies about Baker's Paste. One
would be wag recommended me. whilst
helping a tart, ' to keep my fingers out of
the pastry. lJelicving him to intend
some obscure allusion to tho gems on my
little fiugcr,I thought it time to open fire.
" 'Gentlemen,' said I, ' for some weeks
I have listened to casual observations iu
which the name of Baker has been un
worthily associated with paste and pastry.
but have refrained from making any re
mark, having been (irmly persuaded they
could only apply to the industrious trades
men employed iu the manufacture of
home-baked bread. (Oh, oh !) It now
occurs to me that such remarks were in
tended in allusion to the riug I wear,
a ring, I take this opportunity of in
forming you, which, uuliko tho wits
who have amused themselves at its ex
pense, is indebted for its brilliancy to
nature.'
' They hooted me : they heaped oppro
brious epithets on the name of Baker :
they laughed and talked ui3 down.
" ' i Jl bet him five pounds it's paste.'
" So I will," said another. " And I.'
" And I."
" So said eleven of them.
" Really, gentlemen," said I, " I am
sorry you should take the matter so much
iu earnest. All I can tell you. is, I be
lieve my ring to be a diamond riug, and
this, notwithstanding I will freely admit
1 only paid a very small sum lor it.
Ihey laughed and hooted me still
more at this admission. They said that
settled tho question, and that it was
paste.
" 1 told thein I didn't think it was.
" Well, would I bet?
" I would rather not.
"Moro hooting.
" At length, very reluctantly, I over
came my scruples. Tho name of Baker
is a name too closely allied to tho gentle
bred (arms, four loaves, pnr tciauL
quartered crest,'tho doe, levant) to al
low it to bo wantonly sullied. I bet.
" We adjourned to the jeweler s.
" AVithout question they were dia
monds ' tho jeweler decided, "and some
of the finest he had ever seen." He
ought to know, as they wero his property
hired by mo for the occasion. .
' Jiileven fives is htty-five, gentlemen."
" Having established the value of my
ring, aud freed tho name of Baker from
suspicion, I paid for the hiro of tho real
gems, and had the pasto stoues reset iu
their places, believing after all, tho rep
utation for diamonds to bo aa good as tho
possession of them, and free from the
anxiety.
" it was talked about, aud noised
abroad: it even reached tho littlo back
street where the pawn-broker lived. You
should have scon him.
', Ileal shtones ! O my heart ? Shcvcn
tyfive poundish dead robbery clean
gone. O my bootshe and bones ! not to
know that f'olksho do shonictimcs come
and pawn real diamonsh for pashte, sho
ns to havo less intoresh to pay for taking
care of their ringsh." O my blushed
heart, only think ot'it!"
' Ho came to me. Ho grovelled, and
wriggled, and twisted himself before me.
He prayed mo to sell him his ring again.
" O my tore Mishter Baker, you musht
shell, it to mo, or I shall be u ruined old
maushe. The time wash not out, and
Mishter Smith has come to redeem it,
and he shays that it wosh a legacy, aud
if he doesh nor get it by Shuturday next
he will ruin me eh-belp him, he will.
O Mishter Baker, think of it; twenty
poundish all iu gold sholid money.
Now, my tore what do you shay? thersh
a good mansh !"
" What did I say? Could I turn a
deaf ear to the distress of the old man?
Thnro are people who might do it, gentle
men, but not people of the name of Ba
ker, not W. 11. Maker. 1 certainly did
ask him for more money. We compro
mised it at last at twenty-two ten, which
he paid, part in sixpences aud coppers,
and owes me four-pencehalfueunv to this
day.
" Twenty-two, nine and sovcnpcncc
halfpmmy, and fifty-live pounds, is seven-tv-seven.
nine. Knven ami I i I h T fr i . , t-
paid for the real diamonds; for I bought
the ones I had previously hired of the
jeweler, and had them set iu a ring the
fac-suniic of Mr. Biouk's except that the
initials iiisiao are w . II. IS.
" That, was the nihi time I was ever
swindled gentlemen," Mr. Baker con
cluded. Ivory Where it Comes From.
npiIE greater share of the ivory of com-
JL mcrce is made from the tusks of ele
phants; but the hippopot amus, the wal
rus, the narwhal, and one or two other
large anim als, contributa the supply.
The quality of tho ivory procured from
other animals is not equal to that of the
elephant. There is, however, a great dif
ference in the fineness aud value of the
tusks of the latter. Those of the large
elephants, on the West coast of Africa,
arc of superior texture, and very trans
parent. The number of animals slaughtered for
their ivory is incalculable, and it is esti
mated that over four thousand persons
annually fall victims to this hazardous
pursuit. England, alone, yearly con
sumes one million pounds of ivory, the
greater part of which id used in the large
cutlery establishment of Sheffield. This
quantity, at the lowest estimate, requires
the destruction of over twenty thousand
elephants. Ivory must be properly sea
soned before it is fit for use. The
straightcst tusks, and those freest from
cracks, are considered tho most profitable.
An elephant's tusk varies in size from
two to ten feet in length, and from twen
ty to ono hundred aud eighty pounds in
weight.
The principal supply of ivory is obtain
ed from Calcutta, Bombay, Singapore,
Madras, and other East India ports.
Tusks are usually imported their full
length, and aro afterwards cut into
smaller pieces by the workers in this ma
terial. In their natural state, tho tusks
of elephants are covered with athinriud,
and aro generally hollow for a considera
ble portion of their length. .
Immense deposits of ivory are found
in Siberia, imbedded in the ice and sand.
During severe tempests these selections
are cast up by tho waves of tho sea, and
the inhabitants who live on that inhospit
ablo coast derive great benefit from gath
ering up tho fossil remains thus thrown
up by the elements. This fossil ivory is
tho tusks of an extinct species of mam
moth, and is exported in large quantities
to China and Europe. From this pro
lific source Russia has obtained her lar
gest supply for many years. Tho ivory
hunters gather their supplies iu Summer,
and iu Wiutcr travel on sleds, drawn by
dogs, in quest of a market. Numerous
caravans loaded with this precious mer
chandize take their way together along
the same route. This harvesting of fos
sil ivory has been going on for five hun
dred years, but now appears to be as in
exhaustible as ever.
Tho tusks of the mammoth weigh from
fifty to two hundred pounds, and are used
by manufacturers as a substitute for Af
rican ivory. It is said to be of a very
bupcrior quality
OLD DUGOOD'S DOG.
OU) DUG 00 U came into tho bar
room tho other day and took a seat
among the idlers there assembled. The
dog question was under discussion, and
alter listening to a few wonderful stories,
D ii good chipped iu as follows :
' iow boys, you may talk as you please
about the smart thinirs ye hev done, but I
can just tell you somethin' that will lay
over an ycr stories.
" I don't Wet you'll believe a man
when he's tellin' ye's truth, but this is as
true as the Gospel.
" You's all know that big yallar dog of
miner ell, that dog is tho smartest
dog in the drove. He's an intellectual
dog, he is. Now, I know you won't be
lieve me, but that ar' dog's been laruin'
to sing. '
" Learning to sing? Get out!" in
terrupted one of the listeners.
" Yes, sir, that's so, every word of it;
and 1 II jest tell you how it was. 'Tothcr
night wo had singing at our house. You
k iow our Sal's been goin' to the siugin'
sdiools lately, and she and other gals,
and the young fellars what go hev got so
they can squawk like the very blazes.
And so most every night they meet at
somebody's house and practice.
" Well, tho other night there was a
whole crew on 'em at our house, and they
had a big time. Such a scrcechin' and a
squallin' and a bellerin' you never heard
of in all your lives. You'd hev thought
that a whole gang of tomcats had broken
loose mid tacklen 'Squire Jones' bull, and
were jest heving it hot and heavy. Well,
that ar' dog was in the room while they
wor singin' arid he was the most interest
ed creeter I ever saw. lie watched 'em
beatiu' lime and going through their
uianuoovers, an' 'peared to understand
'em as well as they did. At first they
sang lively tunes you know ; and putty
soon, when they got tired of these, they J
commenced ou salms and liymes aud oth
er serious things. The dog 'peared to
like these better than he did tho lively
tunes, and sot as close up to 'em as he
could while they sung.
" At last, the gals coixed Jim Blow
hard to sing 1 Old Hundred.' You know
what an old tearin' bass voice Jim has.
When he commenced, tho dog began to
get dreadfully interested. lie pointed
his nose right up at the eeilin', aud every
time Jim came to the low notes he'd sort
er howl."
" Who? Jim?"
" No, blast you, the dog. Blowhard
he sang away for awhile, and jest then he
turned round and kinder bit his hind
legs."
" Gosh a mighty ! What, Blowhard ?"
" No, you all-fired fool you, the dog of
course. Then says I to the old woman
' Nancy Jane,' scz I, ' you jest bet your
boots t hat dog's got something in his head.'
And Nancy Jane, sez she, ' You git out
I shan't do it.' Just then tiie dog
picked up. somethin in his mouth and
bolted out of the room quickcr'n a streak.
I didn't pay much attention to it aud
nobody ejse noticed.
" When Blowhard finished, all the gals
crowded round him aud commenced flat
tering him, when suddenly we all heard
a noise. It was the orl'ullest mixed up
noise ever anybody hoard. Everybody
was scared nearly to death. Six of the
gals fainted away in Blowhard's arms all
at once. They wor haugin' on to him
from all sides, like string beans to a pole.
Blowhard sot still for a moment or two;
it was more huggin' than he could stand,
and ho wilted right off his seat onto the
floor aud tried to crawl under tho sofa.
Before ho got mor'n his head and shoul
ders under, the gals all camo to and
caught him by tho feet and tried to pull
hi in out. Blowhard held on to the sofa
legs and bellowed murder ; and tho gals
screeched, aud some on 'cm ran around
the room nineteen times iu a minuit before
they could anything else to faint faint onto.
" I picked up a candle and rushed into
tho back yard with two or threw of the
spunkiest men, and what do you think
that intellectual old dog was doin' ? He'd
got a music book spread out before him,
and was beatin' time with his tail on a
tin-pan and a howliu' 4 Old Hundred' like
all possessed !"
E6fL.lt chanced one gloomy day in the
month of December, that a good-humored
Irishman applied to a merchant to dis
count a bill of exchange for him at rather
a long, though not an unusual date; aud
tho merchant having casually remarked
that tho bill had a great many days to
run. "That's true," replied tho Irishman,
" but then, my honey you don't consider
how short the days aro at this time of tho
year,"
A Bright Clowu.
Henry IV., of Franco, was fond of
playing practical jokes on his subjects, but
he sometimes found bright peasants who
were quite ready to take off tho joke ou
their side. Hero is a specimen :
Henry IV.,of France, being out oneday
limiting, lost his party, and was riding
alone. Observing a country fellow stan
ding upon a gate, apparent on the
watch, he asked him what he wVjookiug
for.
"I've come here," says he, "toKec the
kil," W
'Get up behind me,' replied th?vjfiarch,
"and I will soon conduct you to tho place
where you will be sure to see him."
Hodge, without any scruples, mounted,
but as they were riding along ho put tho
sagacious question :
"They tell me he's got a power of lord
with him ; how may a body know which
is him?"
The king replied that ho would be able
to distinguish him by seeing all his
attendants take off their hat3, while he
himself remained uncovered.
Soon after they joined the hunt, when
all the circle, as may well be expected.
were greatly surprised to see the king so
oddly attended.
When they wero arrived, his Mainstv.
turning to the clown, asked him if he
thought he could tell which was tho
king.
" I don't know," said he; "but faith,
it must be one of us two. for we've both
II
UU uui uuis UIJ,
His Dream.
rildE EMPEROR CHARLES V.hav
X ing one day lost himself in tho heat
of the chase, and wandeiinr in the fur.
est far from his train, after much fatigu j
in trying to hnd a route, came at List to
a solitary ale-house, where he entered f.
refresh himself. Ou comins in ho saw
four men, whose mien presaged him no
good; he, however, sat down and called
for something. These men pretended to
sleep, one of them rose, and, approaching
the emperor, said he had dreamt that he
took his hat, and accordingly took it oft".
The second saying he had dreamt ho had
taken his coat, took that also. The third,
with a little prologue, took his waistcoat'.
juiu tne iourtn,witn much politeness, said
no nopcu tnero would be no objection to
his feeling his pockets ; and, seeing a
chain of gold about his neck,wheuce hung
his hunting horn, was about to take that
too, but tho ouipcror said, "Stop, my
friend, I dare say you cannot blow it : I will
teach you." So, putting the horn to his
mouth, ho blew repeatedly and loud.
His people who searched for him. lmnrd
the sound, and entering the cottage, wero
surprised to seo him in such a garb.
liero aro lour lellows," said the empe
ror, " who have dreamt what they please:
I must now dream in my turn." Sitting
down and shutting his eyes for a little
while, he then started up, saying, " I
havo dreamt that I saw four thieves
hanged :" and immediately ordered hi
dream to be fulfilled, the master of the
inn, being compelled to bo their execu
tioner. A Cool Thief.
A COOLER pickpocket than is spo
ken of in Stuttgard, was never seen.
He was an obsequious little man, who"
offered his services to his victim, to show
him the lions of the city, but the other
refused tho oner. The oflicious person
age, however, was not offended, but po
litely asked him what o'clock it was.
1 he other answered that he did not know.
as his watch had stopped, and continued
his walk toward the Museum of Natural
History, which ho entered. lie had uot
been there many minutes before the same
person came up to him, with the air of au
old acquaintance, and offered him a piuch
of snuff. This Mr. W declined.
saying ho was uo snuff-taker, aud walked
away; but some minutes alter, having a
presentiment of something being wron'r.
ho felt for his snuff-box, but instead of it
a piece of paper in his pocket, on which
was written, " As you aro no snun-taker.
you do not require a box." lie thought
tho logic of his unknown acquaintaueo
rather impertinent, and resolved to bear
bis loss like a philosopher ; but what was
his amazemcut when, a few moments af
ter, ho discovered that his watch had also
disappeared, and in his other pocket was
another uote, in tho following words :
".As your watch does not tell the hour,
it would be better at tho watchmaker's
than in your pocket." It is unnecessary
to say that ho never heard any further
tidings of tho two articles,
I,