The Bloomfield times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, January 04, 1870, Page 2, Image 2
(l)c hnc0, New Bloomftcfo, 3a. 4 peep out as I ordered strong mustard plas ters to bo prcpr.rcd. I trusted she would liavo foretli ought enough, to placo them qn herself in such a way tliat they' would not pain her, and no doubt she did. In thecourso of an hour she professed to be much relieved, "thanks to uiy skill," us she said, and I took my departure promising to see her early in the morning. I went home an entirely different man from what I had left. Then I was med itating suicide, while now I looked at the pistol as I entered my room with horror, and quickly placed it out of sight. AY hat had wrought such a change in my fecliugs in so short a time ? Was it hope aroused by the trifling circumstance of the one call I had just had ? As I sat trying to analyze my feelings I came to the conclusion that 1 was tak ing a great interest in my patient, and now tho question occured was it only pro fessional interest or was it heightened by the fact that the patient was a woman a lovely woman, too. Candor forced me to admit that the latter fact had great influ ence. I sat up several hours trying to think what motives had prompted her to take this singular step, and finally went to bed without coming to any conclusion, except that whatever had influenced her, I was sure that it could not have been anything bad. With this I had to be content until morning when I hoped my early visit would unravel the mystery now surround ing my first patient. COSCLUDED KEXT WEEK. A Personal Argument. Counselor T , one of tho foremost advocates of tho Bar of New York, was himself a collegiao and was naturally anx ious that his oldest son should reap tho honors of his own Alma M'rtrr. The counselor had been quite wild in his early youth,and Master Will manifestly inherit ed a superabundance of what the philoso phers of tho Josh Billings school would call "pure cussedness." During his first year at college Will was suspended for some flagrant breach of discipline, and ar riving homo he proceeded to report the occurrence to his father. "Suspended, hey?" the old lawyer remarked, laying dowu the volume ho was perusing, and looking reprovingly over his spectacles. A pretty beginning you've made of it, I declare !" Tho culprit put his hands in his pantaloon pockets and said not a word. Well, sir !" continued the parent becoming angry at Will's per fect nonchalance, what have you to say about it ?" " Nothing, sir." Nothing, indeed! What did tho pres ident tell you when he suspended you?" " He said I was the worst young man the college had ever held with one excep tion." " Ah ! Did he say who that was?" " Yes, sir." " Ah ! (a slight pause) and who was it ?" " My father, sir." As may be supposed, the last reply was a perfect non sequitcr. An Oriental Story. An old Oriental story relates that one day, Moolla Muscerodccn, in a mosque, ascended the desk, and thus addressed his audience : "O, children of tho Faithful, do you know what I am going to say ?" They nswered, " No." " Well, then," replied Ite, " it is no uso for me to waste my time on so stupid a set of people !" aud saying this, he came down and dismissed them. Next, day he again mounted the desk, and asked : " O, truo Mussulmans, do y know what I am going to say ?" " We do," eaid they. " Then," replied lie, " tWe is uo need for me to tell you." And again he let them go. Tho third time h'ui uttdienea thought they would catch him, and on putting the usual ques tion they answered, " Some of us do, and anme of us don't." " Well, then," replied he, " let those who know tell those who do not " &2T On one occasion, during the Rev olution, ' Old Tut' had received a lot of new recruits, and as lie had some fighting whieh lie wished to do before long, aud wanted none but willing men, he drew up his kvwes iu rank before liiiu. "Now hoys," wild Ue, " I don't wish to retain any one of you who wish to leave ; there fore, if any of you is dissatisfied, and wishes to rctnra to his home, ho may signify the same by stepping six paces in front of the li&e. But," added tho old war dog, " I'll shout the first man that teps out" Tho Dutchman and his love Powders. ABOUT tho year 1815, a rather stout coarso looking uiau, apparently some twenty-five years of ago, came to my office and wished to speak with Jnc aside. lie was a Dutchman from up the river, and spukc our language rather im perfectly. Having got mo aside, he stated his case with very great solemnity. lie in formed uie that lie was in love with a certain young woman of his neighbor hood, who unfortunately did not return his affection. This ho assured me, was not owing to want of any disposition on her part, for she was willing to love him if she could ; and in order to overcome the natural repugnance she felt towards him, would consent to any feasi ble mcaus. A love powder was that which most naturally suggested itself to his mind ; and he had called to procure one. " I would have got it out of our toctor to home," ho said, " but 1 was afraid it might leag out ziun how anodor, and den I should be a laughiusthog to dc whole down. Y,o as I was gumming to New Yorg, 1 tought I might as well kit it here. What will you ax for one shtrong love powder, wjint will do dc bizziness i'or de garl, and make her love me like dcr tyvil all out ?" At first I endeavored to reason with him on the folly of endeavoring to excite love by means of powders, philters, po tions, and the like. But 1 found my ar guments thrown away. I then endeav ored to laugh him out of his project. But my ridicule, like my arguments, fell harmless to the ground. Finding him resolved on having tho love powder, come what would. I conclu ded to give him something which would satisfy him. I accordingly put up two powders, of tarter emetic, of (ivo grains each ; telling him that it was necessary that ho should take a powder as well as the girl, in order to produce tho desired effect. " But I be in lofc. now, "doctor," said he, " I does not need any of do bowder to make me lofe more as I do now. What for should I take it den ?" " You must take it," said I. "other wise the powder will have no effect upon the girl." " But den I shall have to pay for dwo bowders instead of one." I then gave him directions to dissolve the powders in water, and to tako one himself and give the girl the other at tho same time, and that they should bo shut up together in tho same room at the time of taking tho powders, and so on for three hours thereafter ; when, I assured him, they would produce a remarkable effect. The fellow went away, well pleased with the favorable termination to his love suit : and I thought little more of tho subject, except occasionally to laugh at tho physical effect the love jiowders would be likely to produce on the arinor ous Dutchman and his Dulcinea. How far they were likely to produce the de sired effect, I could not of courso deter mine ; but as the result would not finally prove injurious to the health of the par ties, I was well satisfied. It was somewhat like a year after this, that, walking one day in tho street, I came plump upon my patient. Startled like Macbeth at the ghost of B.inquo, I would have avoided him ; and for this purpose I dodged into tho Hotel just opposite. But fear often brings the catastrophe which it seeks to avoid; aud the conciousness of guilt conjures up dangers, where in reality nono arc to be apprehended. My motions were undoubtedly suspi cious and the Dutchman detected mo the sooner for attempting to dodge him. At all events, ho followed me into the hotel, and with a very angry countenanco be gan : " Be's you not do toctor wat gif me lofe bowder a twelve month ago ?" "I what! I a doctor? 1 give you love powders ?" said I, appearing to bo vastly surprised at this question "you must certainly be mistaken iu the man." " Py jinks, I pelieve you po de man' persisted tho Dutchman ; you look bo much like him as one egg docs to an odcr." "No, my friend," says I. " you must bo mistaken in the man. But what is the story of yours about the lovo pow ders ?" continued I, wishing to learu the effect they had produced, as well perhaps as mischieveously to afford sport to the company in the bar-room. "What is de ehtory? Why mishtcr toctor, de lofe bowders'didn't do at all. Dey was all one tarn cheat. Dey was nothing more ns one vile tattero mattocks wnt makes bcoples buke dcr insitcs out. When I goes home I shuts mincsclf up in a room mit Kattarina ; and we dakes one a bowder and todcr a bowder, just, so as you told inc. Den we waits for do op eration. Py and py we grows sick in de stomach. Tinks 1, wat for a tyvil of an operation is dis ? dat makes me i'eel so all npout de short rips, de heart, dc sthom ach ? Put I says Hotting at all, hopin 'twould all durn out for de best. Py and py we pegins, pote of us, to po just like do sea in a tundor sthorm. " Oh, how sick I po !" says Kattarina. Den she grows bale as a gorpsc, and tought she would vaiut ; sol puts mine arm round her vaist to hold her up when, my 0 ! pote on us at once pegins to cry, New if org! New Yorg! and, py kracious! you never seen any pody gast up ag gounts as we did. Dere was put one winder in do room and we couldn't get out of do door, begauso I locks it and trows away do key when I first conies in, 4i lid so wo bote sthieks ourn heads out of do winder, and bukes, and bakes, and Jmkes you never seen de likes in all de days you was born ! And wat do tiuk was de consequences, toctor ?" " What, why, I suppose the girl fell in love with you of course," said I. " No, py Joe, she hates me teu tousand dii tes worscr dan ever. She won't so uiu :h as sphcak to me now. And all de you ng fellers and do gals dey laughs at me, mid boints de finger at nie as I walk de si hreets' and says. Dere go do vool vat l ouglit de bowders in New Yorg ! And now 1 pe de lauhin shtog of de whol i blace. And all this gomes of de tain fcheat of lofe bowders you gm mo for I ran swhear you pe's to very toctor wat bl iycd dat trick on me. And if I ever c-.tches you in our neighborhood," conoid led he, doubling his list in a very threat ning manner, " I'll give yo'i one of de iogdist lickens you ever had iu all tc days of your life." Sayh g this he left the hotel in a rage, and this was the last I ever saw of him or hear, of the love powders. The Comet Tanic of 1712. Winston the mathematical divine, the translator of Joscphus had predic ted that tho comet of 1712 would ap pear on Wednesday, the 14th of October, at live minutes after five o'clock, A. M., and that tho world would bo destroyed on the following Friday. Disreputation for science was as high as his character for orthodoxy was unquestionable and the comet appeared punctually leading to an inferential fear that the rest of the prediction would be as punctually fulfill ed. A number of persons got into boats and barges in the Thames, thinking the water the safest place. South Sea and India stock fell. Tho eaptain of a Dutch ship threw all his powder into tho river, that tho ship might not be endangered. At noon, after tho comet appeared, it is said that more than one hundred clergy men were ferried over to Laniberth Pal ace, to request that proper prayers might be prepared, there being nono in the church servico appropriate to such emer gency. People believed that the day of judgment was at hand, and acted, sonio on this belief, but more as if some tem porary evil was to bo expected. Many wrong were righted, many breaches of mi rality repaired. There was a great run on the bank; and Sir Gilbert Hcath cote. at that time head director, issued orders ;o all the fire-officers in London, requesting them to keep a good lookout, and have a particular eye on the Bank of England. On the whole, the poor Lon doners of" that generation appear to have behaved rather foolishly in the moment of imagined doom. Catching a Rascal. An amusing story is told of an old lady who had been very much annoyed by the village boys ringing the door bell and then running off to enjoy tho fun of the false summons. So one day the old lady got a loug switch and stationed herself in the Hall, for tho purpose of inflicting summa ry justice upon them. Now it happened that the new minister, a meek looking little man, was paying his first pastoral visits this day, and rang tho door bell at tho house of this good old sister, when out jumped the old lady thinking it was tho boys and laying tho vigorous whacks of her hickory over tho head of the little preacher, she exclaimed : " Oh, you little rascal ! I've caught you at last." The result can be more proper erly imagined than describod. A VOLUNTEER COUNSEL A Thrilling Story. JOHN TAYLOR was licensed, Vhcn a youth of twenty-one, to practice at the bar. He was poor, but well , edu catcd, and possessed extraordinary genius. He married a beauty who afterwards de serted him for another. On the uth of April, 1810, the Court House in Clarksville, Texas, was crowded to overflowing. An exciting case was to be tried, George Hopkins, a wealthy planter, had offered a gross insult to Ma ry Ellison, the young and beautiful wife of his overseer. The husband threat ened to chaMi.se him for the outrage, when Hopkins went to Ellison's house and shot him in his own door. The murderer was arrested and bailed to an swer the charge. The occurrence pro duced great excitement, and Hopkins in order to turn the tide of popular indig nation, had circulated reports against her character, and she had sued him for slander. Both suits were pending for murder and slander. '1 he interest becamo deeper when it was known that Ashley and Pike of Ar kansas, and S. S. Premise, of New Or leans, by enormous fees, had been retained to defend Hopkins. Hopkins was acquitted on the charge of murder, the Texas lawyers having been overwhelmed by their opponents. It was a fight of dwarfs against giants. The slander suit was set for the lUh, and the throng of spectators grew iu numbers as in excitement. Public opin ion was setting in for Hopkins, his mon ey had procured witnesses who served his powerful advocates. When the (dander ease was nailed, Mary Kllison was left without mi attorney all had withdrawn. 'Have you no counsel?" inquired Judge Mil's, looking kindly on the plain tiff. " " No sir; they have all deserted me. and I am too poor to employ any more," replied the beautiful girl bursting into tears. li In such case, will not some chival rous member of the rofession volun teer?" said the Judge, glancing around the bar. The thirty lawyers were silent. "I will, your Honor," said a voice from the thiekcht part of the crowd be hind the bar. At the sound of the voice many started it was so unearthly, sweet aud mourn ful. The first sensation was changed into laughter, when a tall, spectral figure el bowed his way through the crowd, and placed 'himself within the bar. His clothes looked so shabby that tho Court hesitated to let the case proceed under his management. Has your name been entered on the rolls of the State?" demanded the Judge. " It is immaterial." answered the stran ger, his thin, bloodless lips curling up with a sneer. " Here is my license from the highest tribunal in America; and ho handed the Judge a broad parc'huicnt. The trial went on. He suffered tho witnesses to tell their own story, and ho allowed the defense to lead off. Ashley spoke first followed by Pike aud Prentiss. The latter . brought tho house dowu in cheers in which the jury joined. . It was now tho stranger's turn. lie rose before the bar, not behind it, and so near to the wondering jury that he might touch the foreman with his long bony fingers, lie proceeds to tear to pieces the arguments of Ashley, which melted away at his touch like frost before the sunbeam. Every one looked surprised. Anon he came to the dazzling wit of the poet lawyer Pike. Then tho curl of his lip grew sharper, his smooth face began to kindle up and his eyes to open dim and dreary no longer, but vivid as light ning, red as fire globes, aud glaring as twin meteors. The whole soul was in his eye ; the full heart streamed out of his face. Then without bestowing an allu sion to Prentiss, he turned short around on the perjured witnesses of Hopkins', tore their testimony into shreds, and hurl ed iu their faces such terrible invectives that all trembled like aspens, aud two of them fled from tho court house. The ex citement of the crowd was becoming tre mendous. Their united life and soul seemed to hang upon the burning tongue of a stranger, and he inspired them with the power of his passions. He Beemed to have stolen nature's long hidden se cret of attraction. But his greatest tri umph was to come. His eyes began to glance at the assas sin, Hopkins, aa his lean taper fingers as sumed the samo direction. He hemmed' the wretch within a wall of strong evi- " deiico and impregnable argument, .cutting off all hope of escape. He dug beneath the murderer's feet ditches of dilemmas, and held up the slanderer to the scorn and contempt of the populace. Hiving thus girt about him with n circle of fire. . he stripped himself to the work of inas s.iereeiug him. ' O ! then it was a vision both glorious and dreadful to behold the orator. His action became as impetuous as the motion of an oak in a hurricane. His voice be came a trumpet, filled with wild whirl pools, deafening the ears with crashes of power, and yet intermingled all the while with a sweet undersong of tho softest cadence. His forehead glowed like a heated furnace, his countenance was hag gard, like that of a maniac, and anon he flung his long bony arm aloft, as if grasp ing after thunderbolts. lie drew a picture of murder in such appalling colors, that in comparison, hell itself might seem beautiful ; he painted the slanderer so black that the sun seemed black at noonday, when shining on such a monster. And then fixing both por traits on the shrinking Hopkins, fasten ed them there forever. The agitation of the audience amounted almost to madness. All at once the speaker descended from the perilous height. His voice wailed out for the murdered dead and living the beautful Mary, more beauti ful every moment as tears flowed faster, and, till men wept and sobbed like chil dren. He closed by a strange exhortation to the jury, and through them to the by standers; the panel, after they should bring iu a verdict for the plaintiff not to offer violence to the defendant, however richly he might deserve it iu other words, not to lynch the villain but to leave his punishment to God. This was the most artful trick of all. and the best calculated to insure vengeance. The jury rendered a verdict of fifty thousand dollars ; and tho night after ward Hopkins was taken out of his bed by the lynchers aud beaten almost to death. As the court adjourned the stranger said : ' John Taylor will preach here tbia evening at early candle light." He did preach, and tho house was crowded. I have listened to Clay, Web ster, and Calhoun to Dwight, Bascoui, and licecher, but never heard anything in the form of sublimo words even ap proximating to tho eloquence of John Taylor, massive as a mountain, aud wild ly rushing as a cataract of fire. In Government Employ. Tn tho " dark days" of 'Gl there lived " Down East" two well-to-do Irish neigh bors, each of whom had a son who had gone West to seek their fortunes. The old boys, meeting ono day, mutual inquiries were made about the young sters. " Well, Pat, how is Mickey making out wid his thrip out West?" "Elegantly! tin dollars a wake, and bossin' himself. And how's your boy gittin' on, Diunis ?" '' Teddy, you mane ? He's doiu' spliu did, the darlint ! Why, his lasht lether was butstin' wid greenbacks, and made so aisy, too." And what's he doin' ?" " Faix, 1 hardly know, but it's in the Government employ he is." " The divil ye say ! tho Government ! What's ho doiu' for tho Government?" " Faix, I hardly know what it is, but I think it's what ho calls laapin' the bounty." A Mistake. An Ohio paper tells the following sto ry about the candidate for Secretary of State : " During the late canvass, this prince of good feliows, who, by the way, always enjoys a good joke, even at his own ex pense, had occasion, to stop at Oberlin. he was provided with a comfortable room at the hotel, and immediately set about the task of doffing his apparel and cloth ing himself with an cntiro chango of dress. After removing from his person every stitch of clothing, even totheshirt, (the General is very neat and tasty in his dress), he stepped forward and opened a door, as ho supposed, of a closet, for the purpose of placing therein the doffed garments. But behold his astonishment when instead of opening the way to a closet, he opened a door leading into a commodious sitting room, which was oc cupied by a number of ladies."