{ t.~~ .+~
ON'I'EMOCK.
VOLUME XXIL-NO. 21.9.
.ERY::O)IgiST.giA,I,
e Christmas .Evening Bulletin
Ticliday r . Number
IGINAL CHRISTMAS TALES
IGINAL CHRISTMAS POEMS
Christmas SelectionS
ifitma Historical Sketches
OUIES FOR OLD AND YOUNG
wings G
raye
and Gay
•
o rum is come our joyful'at feast,
Let every man be jolly;
soh' room with ivy leaves is drest,
And every post with holly.
hough some churls at our mirth
repine,
and your foreheads garlands _
twine.
own sorrow in a cup of wine,
And let us all be merry.
io for the Philadelphia Evening ItallathL)
HMS. SCHNEIDER'S VISIT TO DUTCH
FAIRYLAND. •
FOB CIIIIIISIMAS - Timm
By John Quill.
JAN scincutoza.
zactly one hundred and one years ago
'here aced an old fellow in 'Deutschland, you
know.
His name was Jan Schneider; a cobbler by trade;
Amazing old gaiters and Dutch shoes he made,
Which threw all Ids - rivals' brogans in the shade,
For clumsiness, and for the way they would
smash
Into bunions the feet oY the men who were rash
And imprudent enough to give Schneider their
cash,
With instructicres to back away just as he chose,
At the leatherlntended to cover,their toes,
fic.bnelder, as you Easy imagine, was poor;
And the wolf it would often creep up to his door.
His dinners were few and his suppers werefeweri_
The pangs of slarvatioliEe'd - Often endure.
Rough enoughttpon fichneldersit was,to be sure;
But he sighed when he thought of his vrow, for
tie knew her ,
Constitution was weak, st.l her ultimate cure
Depended on diet; some delicate viand,
As sauerkraut, onions, or other loud kind
Of sloppy Dutch mess with a horrible smell,
To assist her digestion, and on her bile tell.
Lrertz CILTtL9. SCLENEIDER.
And there was his Christian, his good little son,
Who had the Butch virtues all rolled into one.
Starvetlou had made him so frightfully thin,
He was actually brought down to sneer bones
and skin.
But little Chris. Schneider, he ..s.ever complained,-
Ho matter how badly his Dutch stomach pained;
No matter how small was his chunk of brown
bread;
"No matter how oft he went hungry to bed,
He would always say over his little Dutch pray
ers,
After kissing his parents and going up stairs.
And the bear of his pleasures, the chief of his joys,
Were these of the Sunday school, which the bad
boys
Were especially down on, but in which littlt .
Chris.
Found the most exquisite species.of
He never etolo apples; ne never spun tops;
Nor coveted nice things displayed in the shops
He never went skating on Sunday—told lies;
Nor endeavored to shut up his fond parents
eyes.
Be never played marbles for keeps; nor bent pins
For his schoolmates to sit on, and puncture their
skins,
He never threw spitballs; played truant; fought
flghte;
Pitched pennies; stoned cats, and staid out late
o nights;
Nor dittone single thing which a bad boy de
lights.
Iba was virtuous, pious, and gentle, and good;
"Too much so," folks said, "for this earth
• Christian should
"Have died when a baby, or else gone to Heaven
"Like good boys in the books, at the age of
eleven."
APPICARRIICK Tll FRAM DUTCH FAIRY.
But enough of his virtues; let's get to the story.
'Teas use Christmas morning quite early. Be-
fore he
Got up, little Chris. turned his eyes to the door,
AZII saw a fairyr come up through the floor.
"Gliris: Schneider," he said, "3( have come here
to-daY
"'ro Bee if Kriss Kingle has dropped down this
"And filled up your stocking with candy and
,
(Tw,as ,a fat red-nosed fairy. His accent was
Datch.s '
Chrb,Schneider oat np,and rubbed open his eyes,
And be stared at the fairy, in eager stirprthe;
Arodzed'at his,very diminutive size
And` the ,shipe, IV his, pinions (as small as a
The look of his face, op exceedingly wise,
And his chitties, made of satin of various dyes;
Aswell as his motions, as graceful and spry 's
Thooe of kitten. Tho faintest of sighs
„Escaped from Chris. Schneider. Ile answered
and said,
That be ;; didn't want candy, he just wanted
And if Kris Kingle , came, with the kindest tood
will,
'l'Wertid,he 'Ono nee; he'd no stectings to all.
The fairy looked sad, in a small sort of way,—
rut tist to his eyea and brushed nine, tears,
away;
Andesid to Chris. Schneider: "Chris. Schneider,
."SuPpose I shoul give you three wishes to-day,
"'dud send what you asked, for, without any
P 9 3 7 ,, '
"tight hereron the spot, without stop or delay,
"W at things would yon want most,Ohris.
Schneider? hey?"
4 ifioine sauerkraut and &peek for my father," he
• Said; , • ,
4 '.For ray,Mother, some cheese and some mustard
and bread;"
.fiAnd then I should like—but to wleh it's no
'use—
4'i should like , for their dinner some sauer-krant
and goese." •
4 `Ach gootl" with a smile said this little Dntch
el r , •
"Is there nothing, Chris.echttelder, yoU want for
yourself?"
"No." he said; "all I wish IS that my Pikeilt ,4
dear,
"May have !obi of victuals and , good latter. beer."
"What a boyi"said the elf, with a Dutch Impress
lion;
-
"No .each other exists anywhere in this nation.
"You shall have all you ask for, and much mars .
beside;
"For your father and mother I'll amply provide,
"And. then I will take you away on a ride
"To the far distant fairy land, there to abide
"With nothing to long for, and no , wish dented;
"With apples and. doughnuts and sausage 'an d
"With plenty of everything jolly and nice; •
"And there you can stay just asc long as , you
lean
"Ard live gentlentan, inite at your ease."
The little Dutch tairkhe rapped on the wall,
And out came a table, with victuals, and all
The savory Viands Chris. Schneider 'had wished,
Hot, smoking ,. and plenty, and handsomely'
dished, _
And attended by tiny Dutch fairies in swarms,
All with thb;same littlejolly fat forms.
When Chria. Schneider saw it, he yelled with de
, light,
And tailed Mrs. Sohneider to look at the sight.
"Hold on," saidthe fairy, "not just yet a , bit;
"Before the old lady comes , we must all quit."
lie then a smart , rap with his magic wand hit:.: :
Little Chris. on the head, and he fell in a fit.
The fairies got round him and took him in
, hand;
Grabbed hold of his hair and his breecheat.Waist
baud; • • -
- Froze on to his legs, to his cars, to his toes; •
Two took his eyebrows, and two more his nose;
A score held his hands; twenty-six bore his hat,
Six, pulled his shirt collar and two his cravat.
Then thelicad Centre fairy omogie word said,
And Chris. be was hoisted right up from the bed.
THE REMARKABLE VOYAGE TO FAIRYLAND.
They lifted Chris. Schneider, they lagged him
away
From his tether, his mother, his schoolmates at
play;
From his home and the earth and the night and
the day;
Pram trouble and sorrow, and death and decay;
From the place where starvation and misery
stay—
.
Where want nib the hearts of the poor with die-
may;
From the moon and the stars and the itin'a
golden ray—
Up,np ever up, to the land of the fay,
Poor little Chris. Schneider they swiftly convey
Without either panes or atop, halt or delay
In the millions of mike of their airy highway.
DUTCH rdIBTLAND.
And when -he was borne through the high crystal
door, ' • -
Such sights be thew saw as he ne'er saw before.
Ob! that was Dutch fairyland, beautiful, bright; •
With everything there in which'DuLeti boys de
light.
The flowers were ailcabbages, and their perfume
Filled the air with a knell like Dutch cheese in a
room. • -
The sa*er•kraut grew wild; there were rivers of
schnapps; •
On which there were millions of queer fairy chaps
Bailing round very swiftly in gingerbread skills,
And from very small pipes taking very big whiffs.
Pnie lager was milked from diminutive cows;
And Christmas trees grew in the front of each
house.
And then there were forests, where all of the trees
Bore balls upon balls ot strong Schweitzer cheese,
Which kept up that unpleasant, continual stink
That Dutchmen all like. And what do you think?
Them were big apple dumplings strewn thick on
the ground;
And pork - and blood puddings lying loosely
around. - -
The houses were built all of richest Dutch cake:
More doughnuts and crullers, than a small - boy
could shake
A stick at, were there, to be had for the taking;
And millions of fresh ones were constantly
baking.
There were swings made of sausage, and some
made of schnitz,
(Long strings of dried apples) and then there
were bits
Of pork spread with mpstard all over the place;
And pickles (assorted) staring right in your face.
The - horses were gingerbread, and their small '
gears
Were made of white sugar. And then it appears
_That the parks for the skaters were floored with
brown bread;
Yon could elide on the butter, then eat it, 'tis
es'd.
Kaviare abounded. Instead of a bed,
The fairies slept sound every night in fresh pies,
and made hearty meals before opening their
eyes.
Apple butter spontaneously gushed from the
springs,
And was dipped up by fairies with crisp short
cake wings.
These fairies were little, and buxom and stout;
Red waistcoats they wore under each roundabout.
Their stomachs were portly; their noses were red
They all wore moustaches—looked hale and well
fed,
And when any ono made an effort to speak,
Hie voice sounded both like a grunt and a squeak.
The maidens were ruddy, thick-waisted and fat;
They were large as to ankles—and each wore a
plait;
The king floated round on a cloud, which he
puffed
From a very long meerschaum,while Bauer-kraut
he stuffed.
He wore golden apectacles on his red nose,
Whieb was just one shade redder than the hue of
his hose.
There were small fairy minstrels surrounding the
And sometimes he'd tell them to tune up and
' ng.
Each si
carried a pretzel Instead of a harp;
Their voices were piercing ; they sang rather
sharp.
And Chris. Schneider staid in this bountiful land,
Eating, day after day, till he hardly could stand.
"And here,' he thought, "always rd just like to
stay;
"I don't care a cent if I never go 'way."
Bo he lived on in fairyland, year after year,
Forgetful of home, and his two parents dear,
Who mourned for his absence, and went on and
cried,
Until irom sheer sorrow they both nearly died!
TRH EXTRAORDINARY RETURN.
But ono day the fairies pnt Chris. fast to sleep--
Filled his pockets with guilders; piled np a great
heap
Of good things to eat; with nine barrels of beer,
And packed up some sauerkraut and other good
cheer.
Then they lifted Chris. Schneider and those other
things, 2 _
And spread out the shortcake that served them
for wings.
They tiew i down to earth, and to old Schneider's
And laid their rich'cargo right 'down on his floor.
lin. Schneider sprang up with a•yell, and hugged ,
.OhrlL,
. _
And gave him a stunning, old-fashioned, , patch
ides. _
Old Schneider he threw down his awl and his
last
And kissea Chris. while briny tears came thick
and fast.'
It was Christmas again; and to honor the day,
An attack on the victuals began tight away.
The whole Schneider family, with their friends,
ate.their fill.
But thp heap, it ramaiuedonitie_ilooriusialg_still,-
•Twaa the queerest old dinner that ever you
knew;
The More yott ,ate of it, the greater it grew ;
And so they had plentynntil they both died.
And then Chris. got married, and he and his
bride >
Lived Without cost for tbe whole of their lives,
Except n mere trifle for spoons, forks and knives.
Audwhen little Schneiders were danced on big
'knee. - •
Chris. would tell how it "paid him a good boy
to be.
In peculiar Dutch idiom ho used to expand
n the pleasures and profits ofDatch Fairyland.
• • :" '4,2;
• • '> G r > 1
, . .
, . •
."•,:.-irniT.-iADitt-i'r4tA.:..w...so.xsig.s.o4y4lj,
(Per the Philadelphia Pretties DuMUD .
CREPTMAS IN VARIOUS PLACES.
HOW IT 1$ envengaerED.
. _
They generally enjoy , themselves in , the Fiji
islands on Chriatmas. Nrissi Kingle never comas,
- doWn the chimney, however, and Ails .the chil- ,
dren's stockings. it may: be 'for the reason that
there are no chllneys, and it isn't the custom to.
.wear, hose. But the children of Fiji don't care's,.
particle. When wake up In the Morning,
they fleck into the charaber of , their sainted ,
mother, and fall upon her neck 'With infantile'
glee,-with the sunny merriment of childhook
and jab'a butcher-kmfo into her jugular veins,
and take her down and cook her withdrawn but
ter, and have'a-barbeine,'and then sell.her Atones.
to the end Man at the minstrel& Abont nine
o'clock, the family duster around the revered
and beloved father, and they suffocate hint , with
a gunny bag" until his - manly • form
is level with the dust. : Then, each little child
goes up stairs and vita on - his best banana leaf
and twines an additional.skeier in his hair, after
which they carry
,the remains of their departe.d
father up to the , teraple,where they hack them up
before some old, six-headed, slab-sided, squatty,
idol or other. The priest then blisters every
child with. the mysterious tattoo, and cuts notches
in . their legs with. the,sacred thatt.knife. Then'
they depart; and spend - the - habinesi of the day
prowling about, trying to rope in stray travelers
for the sacrifice, or to rob any odd babies that
may be lying around, of their heade and legs.
Thus do these untutored savages, in their na
tive wilds, observe their tithe-honored practices
and enjoy themselves, and harea first-rate time,
without being affected by the withering blight of
civilisation, or, tethered with taxes.
cnatargas IN WALES.
I got to the. inn at 'Llangollen very late one
Christmas Eve. In the morning there was a
knock at the door. I went to see who it was.
It was a Welshman, and he made this casual 9b
eervation:
"Trsvllth mg blnctlg ppl glmx."
"I don't think it is," said.l.
"Gwittlif vii wrthg ssil ggi," was the remark
he then made.
"No, I won't, either," I replied, indignantly.
"Plgwth gwrrth tn," said he, evidently
trying to draw me ont.
"I'm a temperance man, and can't. Besidea I
never indulge so early; obliged to yon all the
camel'
'.*Pligrwtith traull ggll," this :fellow exclaimed.
"My friend," I said, "you don't seem well.
You'd 'better go' and-lay down and. have gruel
and a mnstardplaster. That's what's the matter
with you." And I elan:mod the door in his face.
When :I went down to: breakfast, the landlord
maderetharks of a similar character; but I treated
him with disdain. Presently a lot of small ehil;
drat' came into the parlor and sang a-Chriatmas
carol. The first verse was so affecting -that I
cried like a baby, I recollect. It went somehow
in this way
" Thrwllg ng tlgynth bbn
Mtn; livr g.rmpp dlln rrs
Depth vtll fwm gllrn
tlgl intsp pllwth wnaspgl."
At eleven I went to Church, and the minister
preached a most excellent sermon from the
ramillar text,,„ , ---. • --
"Wnawll flgt—Matti 15.8:'
A hearty dinner ensued., and then the whole
population turned out to hunt for Welsh rabbits,
which abound in the vicinity of Llangollen. At
night most of the young men spent their time
courting young girls in the front parlors, and it
was astonishing how easily they understood
each other.
The Prince of Wales came in about ten o'clock,
and gave his personal blessing to the whole popu
lation, and after a hearty drink of Welsh brandy,
we all went to bed. the trouble With these
Welshmen is that they were never taught their
vowels at school, and they have come now to ne
glect them scandalously.
CHRISTMAS Lti UTAH.
Out in Salt Lake City on Christmas Eve, every
father of a fatally goes out and buys 375 pairs of
stockings, and teen he has them nailed up against
the mantleplece. This done, he proceeds to a
toy shop and buys it clear out, as a job lot, and
has It sent home on a dray. All his wives-help to
1111 the stockings. Be begins to kiss his children
and wish them "Merry Christmas," two weeks
leforehand, and then he hardly ever gets through
before Nevi Year's day, at which time he spanks
them in regular succession- with a machine
worked by a crank, one. small jackass and two
Digger indiums. Sometimes on Christmas he gets
his family all mixed up with some other man's
family, and he keeps on filling stockings and
kissing children until his revenue and his patience
are exhausted. The children themselves imoose
on men who are not related to them. I knew
one bewildered man to go clear around the set
tlement three or four times, and. provide for sev
eral million children. But it drove him to bank
ruptcy, and he became a raving maniac, and
funded himself a Shoshone Indian, • and com
mitted suicide trying to scalp himself.
Christmas is not considered a season of un
alloyed pleasure in Utah.
When a Japanese wakes up on Christmas
morning, hie first move is to put out his fist and
clutch hold of a fan, no matter how cold it is.
Then he feels to ascertain if his hair is fixed up
like a blacking-brash on the top of his held. If
she is all sight, he gets up and goes oat and sits ,
on a telegraph wire for an hour,,, balancing him- .
self with an umbrella; or else he stands a pole on
his chin while his little brother climbs to the top
and hangs by , his left leg. In the meantime, his
sister and his Aunt Mary Jane, from the country,
waltz out,and seating themselves on the ground,
begin twanging away at a couple of= old one- .
stringed banjos, on which; these infatuated crea- .
tures think they can play. Having been sufficiently
soothed, then go in and fan themselves. They
they make a sumpthous breakfait off of rat hash,
and bone,d bull-dog and cat ala mode. After
which they take another fan. Before retiring for
the night, the head of the family spina a few tops
in a mysterious ' way on < the entry
carpet, while the boys amuse • them
selves walking around with their naked feet over
razor blades. Then they all fan themselves
again. ,
Christmas in Japan is observed . in a unique
manner,' but I never could enjoy it much. Some
how they don't seem to have caught the spirit of
the thing.
CHRISTMAS IA ALASKA.
The boteli In Alaska, are all made of • ice, with
a smoke-bole at the top.• When you wake up on
Christmas morning; yon roll over and feel cold,
and'yott ascertain that you have been sleeping
against the wall. The Esquimaux landlord; how
ever, Is very hospitable,'-and •heibuilds a big fire;
and goes out mud drives kpluginthe smokehole to
keep the warm air in. When. it,gets so that you
can't breathe, he brings in six prelude of raw
walrtte and uncorks , a fresh barrel of sperm-011,
se that you can make a hearty breakfast. The
meal ended,' you are expected to go out and let
the pet dog of the family knock you down and
gnaw your leg for twenty minutes. Then the
landlotd lays yon on a sled and gives you o har
poon, so us to go a bear-hunting. It is extremely
likely that the Years will loin• in ,the °Wan:
sport with their accustomed hilarity,and get hob
of you and hug you until you can hear your ribs
scrunch; °ill this don't occur,' you can calculate
with safety upon falling through a hole in the Ice,
I• so that some festive walrus can stick a tusk •
1 1 through your, vitals, in an• exhilarating manner,
and bear you away on the wings, of love to his
soft and retired pest, where he , will food you
piecemeal.to his little ones on this joyful Christ
was day.
Alaska on a Christmas is exciting; but, person
, ally, I never thad , nattelf taste for Out-door sports.
11 prefer a quiet time in the house, myself.:
iitht WHOLE; oOttTit:r.
By „Joku.'QuW,
o int ISIMAS IN FIJI,
CEUII.B"I3LAS IN. JAPAN'
O.EBIBER 23:1868.7 - TRIPLE S
CHRISTMAS src ST. THOMAS.
When a man lives in the Island of ,St Themes,
the Bret thing he generally does on Christmas
morning is to get up and go out ' into the front
yard; where be yery likely find that an earth
9nake has opened' a gap twenty feet wide, In
which•the belated and Ithechanalianhired girl ha*
keen Swollew, ed up during the, silent watches of
*knight.;, in all probability another earthquake
comes while he is at breakfast and smashes the
crockery. Oh towards noon he thinks he will go
out ttild take (limit at his farm, down in the val
ley; near by But an extraordinary natural con
vuldon haring occurred the evening before, he
ascertains' thathia acres are now located near the
top 9f hiCounrain, -- a - rthousand feet - above the
level Of the sea,, in um.region of perpetual snow..
Thelihe gotimind c and makes up his mind to ga
and have his revenge 'on the victuals of bin rein,- i
tient% Bar miles in the interior. ' While he is
thinking about'it and wondering if they will have
turitOy, a tidal Wave comes along and washes - his
hatigkend family. to thesery spot. No sooner
doetkhe get,there, than, some, adjacent volcano or ,
other. just as lliin as not,bolls over and buries his
residence in hot ashes.. This would be unpleas
ant; it,"protrldentinlfr, it did not Occur that a hut
ricane strikes the island, just at, that moment,
and bli)Wathe r ishes off, just before a; heavy rain
sets in; and - whilettr, is standing at the front
' door. watching the water sweep away the sur
rounding plantations, - nflash of-lightning strikes
him as ecad akkaity other inanimate corpse, only,
half an hour heifers anegro insurrection, breaks
out daring which his wife and family are batch
ered in cold blood. ' • •
Cluistreas in Bt. Thoinas is very lively, but'
don't care fOr much raYseli. r like warm
hearted, tropical hospitality, and all that sort of
thing; but there is such a thing as having too
mach Ines made over you, even at Christmas
time. ' - •
A MERRY CHRISTMAS !
"A mealy Chrbdmas to yon all I"
- Is passing now from month to month,
From east to west, from -north to south,
Friml lowly cot and stately hall.
‘,.& merry Christmas to na all I"
Is shouted by the cheerful host;
The windows barred against the frost,
We toast the season, great and small.
A merry Christmas. Hush l—no breath
01 revelry must plerceithe gloom
Of yonder chamber :—from that room
The spirit bag passed out with Death.
The widow clasps her child, a kiss
' Is pressed upon Ids rosy face;
A choking sW,h—a close embrace—
"A merry Cbristleas ?" What is this ?
"A Christmas party—let tm go 1"
A war.d'rer hopeleim drops to die;
His brothers heedless pass him by
Half frozen in the freezing :snow
A merry Christmasl What a few
Remota' of those it welcomed last;
Antither year'has o'er us passel
And left as wife, the only two.
The childish laugh we held so dear-,
The toys that made us once more young,
The infant:sans that round us clung,
Have vanished with the paising year.
s $
But Christmas merry Is—and those
Who stdre_to make it so do well,:.
For who can ever fitly tell
What comfort from this , season flows ?
"A merry Christmas lotus bless
The season when our Lord was born :
And doubly bless the Christmas morn
That gave as "Christ our Righteousness."
"A merry Christmas to all !"
Let it resound from mouth to mouth,
Frolic' east and west to north and south,
To humble cot from statelphall.
Written for the Chriatmas Number of the Philadelphia
Evening Bulletin.l
A SCULPTOR STORY.
TITS CIiBISTIGAS WEDDING &T THE
EMI B &SS li.
By Laufant Perdreau.
WHERE•I HIRED 3IY EVENING-COAT.
It was many and many a year ago—l think
just a thousand and two—that my friend Lomax
came up to my atelier, then situate Rue Hum
boldt, away down below the Observatory, among
the girls' boarding-schools.
"Perdreau," he *uttered, "the fact is, Abby
and I—why, the truth is, Abbe and me"—and
there he stuck. •
I helped him out by saying with sympathy, "I
expected it." ,
"FatlAer thought we'd better ha' spliced the
main-brace—l mean tied the Gordian knot—at
least, till death us do part, you know," said Door
Lomax, floundering. ~..
I said,"Yes, old fellolw."
"Father thought it had better be done in
Switzerland; a traveling wedding is both cheap
and—and artistic: they give you rank milk in a
chalet, you know—glris with plaits and powerful
ankles—emell of goats."
He sucked hid cane awhile apparently to im
bibe the savor of the Arcadian scene his lively
fancy bad conjured up.
"But inother,"--this was commtudeated after a
. .
.
considerable pause,—"mother well, she got a ll
that yellow, silk in Lyons, you see, and there was
a good bit of black lace from Brussels, and as
mother tells father. if it's not worn before
we go home, _ there'll be ~a duty. So
it's , . .to 'Collie off , at , the ' Embassy;
for father , says , there's no man in France
more behbiden ,to him and more fond of him
than Minister- John Paul Jefleraon Jones; and
there'll be ad Amerleauflagtwe're to be • stood un
der the, American flag. To-morroW week is .
Christ:nes; and it's to come , off then. And a coal-
Eldon at 'the Grand HOWL ' And we want—"
Up to this voint Thad listened as linversonally
as one of the plaster ecorchda in the atelier; but the
succeeding words made me warm and egoistic;
and acutely sensible'of the on my coffer.
and;the bare threads on my elbow. I can only,
express the different way in which they came to
me by fancying the sensations of the clay when',
the sculptor lays down his smoothing-tool and
takes up a saw-edged one. Lomax gave me a
new surface entirely with what you are abodt to
"And we want •you to stand up by mc."
"I protest, my good fer—
But Lomax went on to , his climax,• too much-,,
absorbed in gettinteit out kindly and well to stop:
for anythinre; ", ---'-- stand by me; and I Just came
up to tell that Isuppose you ain't got any_
evening coat, and that• it you. want to hire one I
could introduce you to my tail4r. •Woodman is
building my , suit, `
.up yondor in - the Chaussd
ri'tntire.
"But I'm not`in the least that sort 'of man."
"Oh'dear yes, you are; mother has a positive,
fancy for you, something about your nose—and
in feet I overheard her say to Abby's sister that if
you'd have Yotour hair curled you'd stand up very
,
The fact was, I believq, , Lemax had no friendo.
A 'Month before he had tested the question. He ,
l hadbought a dozen .of the cheapest ehttrupagne;,
F and invited the dower Of . the American yonth in.
Faris; fellowe whom'he was anxious to introduce,'
when all should'have returned to Now World,
what - , he called:bib father's "110Welling-alley'
,
. .
%Of " ; • #
,
, ,•:. • •
•
d • .;
,2• • •
Ml=M
* , *
13MCI
)1E13'1%
In their villa at Beekebrity. Not a Boni of them
would coma--though they butted himaesiduously
at the,Bois and • at watering--places,--not a soul
came and poor little Lo Was found by somebody
positively crying with 'chagrin, his lead disae-
Htronsly laid , among the bottles; like one of his
father's "bowels" orating the ten-pins. •
But I had always befriended Lo. I had let him
have a number of original and almost priceless
' sketches in wax and clay; and the miserable pe
cuniary accommodations with which he had
readily enough obliged me had been scrupulously
reimbursed, if not in bullion, at least In profes
sional gifts more valuable - than gold. We had
the same French teacher; that le, I let Lo bring
- old Clavier down-to my'room,-wherelstimidate
both by my energy and picked up the - language.
in half Lie time . Lo did. Lo'vvatt glad enough to,
thebust I modeled in , exchange, while hewas
taking his lessons. He loved that head better
Othatt his own. It was one of his few subjects.
Our interviews never closed without 'his saying:-
By. the by, when are you going to mid' the mus- -
hide to that head?" He reverted to it new.
"I'm going to have my mustache wired like the,
Emperor's, to be Married. in: by the • way, Old,
boy, (as if the theme.' was utterly new.) you
haven't finished the bust yet. I want to get it
bronzed to take home with me." • '
Thts eternal palaver about twenty hake,, like' a
baby's eyebrows, which . Ha mighty prowess had
forced from underlie nose one hair a month!
•AB IT wane, ritw ontes-rtoost. •
I was taken into the fondly eounclis,andreallyl
drr esed everybody. "You are an artist,you know,"
said the bride's Sister. Atilt was the only position
of confidence I'' ever lined, I should like to brag
about it, but spare yon. I dressed everybody.
I never had such a scope in my life- I arrAnge.d
the lace across the yellow lust - of Mrs. Lomax's
silk in the , pattern of the death-collar worn by
that fashionable - mummy Queen Aah-Hotep.
(Yon may be sure I never menticoied Aahatotep;
/ called it" the mode Duberri, bless you!) I got
up the bridein long square sleeves like a Mar
guerite, with a hanaper and a bunch of gold keys.
I made the old gentleman carry a snuff-box that
had belonged to Richelieu:" I didn't venture to do
more with him,for• these parventts,though stupid,
and screws, are rich after all, and convenient
on °melon. •
As for Lomax himself, he was my 'charge and
my agony. That boy never could be drilled into
the slightest sense of dressing himself. For him
a waistcoat was tasteful 'just in proportion to
what it cost. The most perfect Valking-gleve
ever cut by Jugla
"A yellow primrose was to him,
And it was nothing more."
In cravats he was an imbecile. When I pre
sented him to his mother on the morning of the
ceremony, hide-bound in his new clothea; his
little shiny coat splitting badly at the tails; his
hair whiter than ever because his face had hap
pened to turn pink at the curling; and his dis
couraged mustache drowned in some; kind of
salve like flies' legs in honey—l declare the good
lady leoked on him with commiseration; she
was longing, I know, to • take him on her lap and
hug him up, auffaing "This- little pig went to
market" over his amalljeweled fingers.
Wo rolled 'through the Rue Royale, with all
booths; and the old gentleman fairly gave cen
times to the ballad-aftagers;., out the butterfly
thronged Rivoll and Avenue des Champet-Elyaties;
to,the Arch orthe Star, and to the Embassy.
o.oAcs. America 17.1 said hOpefetlly
to the bride's sister. ,
lon are aware that, technically and according
to the law of nations, wherever a Legation hap
pens to settle becomes straightway a part and
parcel of the country It represents. . Thus the
moment that Mr. John Paul Jefferson Jones Im
ported his rocking-chair into his modest lottigin:gs
In the Rue du Centre he was an American in
America.
-We went to Atuerlea. America han ascended
about twenty feet into, he air,like a Genius, about
to seer away. The giOnnd-floor was of the
French, Frenchy ; but on the next platform—s
silver plate informed us that we had arrived in
the land of the Spread Eagle. I felt, as I have
always felt on that landing, immense sensations.
Behind that german-silver target was my own,
my native land. I fancied the scent of the mimo
sa-blossome and prairie-flowers coming through
the keyhole.
"Don't you smell garlic ?" said Mrs. Lomax,
with her fine directness of expression. " I de
clare if the Joneses are baking beans this morn
ing, it's a direct insult - to us !"
" Dear madam," said 1, "J. think it's the kettles
in the wigwams of the Blackfeet."
The door opened, and admitted us to the
boundless plains of the Far West. They appeared
to be arranged in a condensedform ; for the po
ltshed floors of the reception-room and all thesuite
could have been laid side by side in Independence
Roll. The darling little chambers were picked
with white and gold, like bonbon-boxes laid side
by side. Lo and his little tissue-paper, bride
looked like very fresh and fragile candy figures.
It was, in short, a very pretty Paris reception
' room we entered ; about as much like what one
fancies the palace of an Embassy as a scent-bag
is like the Jardin des Plantes. But if our Govern
ment thinks republicanism consists in lodging its
Ministers like music-teachers, what business is it
of ours ?
As we cross the threshold,we finish the chapter
about our preparations, and begin the chapter
about
OUR WEDDING
One wall was decorated with a black-looking •
and fiat-chested clergyman, apparently pasted to
it. Over this ornament hung the far-famed Ame
rican flag in drapery. A lady, all alone, sat with
her feet thrust well torward to the fender, reading
the Liberte
"Dear Mrs. Jones! So glad!" said Lomax's
mother.
The young man in full , black who had an
nounced us swept them all severely into an ante
room, Mrs. Jeffersen Jones included. ,
In half an , hour they , streamed back on parade,
making their little effect.
I looked with deep teeling nt Lo. was
walking so potteringly that I fancied he , would
directly break into twenty fragments inside his
clothes. Ills;pinkness unfortunately continued.
Mrs:Jones resumed her lounging-chair by the
fender, thrust her feet upon it again, bat did not
resume the Libera. She only looked upon it, as
it lay among the bronzes on the mantel-shelf,
with longing and abnegation.
In coming in, the bride dropped her bouquet.
I had got that bouquet, On exchange for a little
clay statuette of Topsy). It rolled and rolled,
and got into the tire. It had the merit.of con
pietely concealing the garlic. , _
The clergyman married Lo—he would hive
married me in a minute but I stopped him with
my eye—by means of an eclectic service, com
pounded, I believe, of the - principal formularies
of the various sects; he brought in the Greek ,
gesture of blessing. 413 was a reading man from
Boston, and I am confident I detected a Budd
hist theory. Luckily we were, spared You
dodism. I. felt that my friend was united by
means of a kind of Exposition of the Cerenionies
of All Nations,
Mrs. Jones was the berbine , of the occasion. She
sat by the , fire without changing her attitude. She
was an ambitious literary woman, glad to be in
Peril with access to the receptions, of Academi
cians; she largely "patronized," that was the
word used by us Americans, literary people and
Gustave Dort. If sbe had known that I designed
those costumes, over which, she ran her eye with
antiquarian groat°, she would have patronir.ed
Me. She said hardly anything to any , of our ladies.
At the prayer, e v ery b o dy with her feet still on
the fender, until stared; then she re
luctantly withdrew them, with the air of drawing
off positive ropes of glue, from the , bar. Then,.,
down on her knees, she gaped disconsolately.
____The_seeond heroine was the bride. She, couldn't
•
find the opening ; in her vall, , ,Whialsonsdifente
how over her face. -(Yt was my fault, PerhaPa,
for I bad imitated the vail front a beautiful figure
by. Jalabert of a 'relish woman.)) I thought I
should have ter offer-my;, pen-knifee when - Mrs.
Lomax discovered - the tackle., drew, rope;,and
deliveredthe bride to be married.
we "ooansTrole."
,Then we rolled back, like criminals after con,
victioni to the Grand HoteL. The Christmas (es
' tival the streets was beautiful, butt the bride aid
grotim;Seernedtotflnd the trumpOt.blowittg and
• noise more dike those "lookirtsylvartirt Serenades
, A
. •
PATOE THREE CENTS.
called'"Corlathunipians" than like anifeitiviillte , :,
which theirteatts could warm. • , s .
There had - been 'a 'dozen guests at the
bassy,-'netably l two lady-artists; friends
groom, who had - been welcomed by a Whisper
from the bride's 'isitster,, audible to , mo. "Daar„,, t .
dear there are those old green bonnets'." •
When' we got to the Iffstel, it wearily honorabled.
office to chase these' dozen people, who Wore,
wandering centrifugally over the stairways, and
them, the grembonnots had goralmeat
to the kitchens before leoula flue them, into the',..
monstrous parlor engaged eirpress by, Mr. Lo-',
max. He had , an admirable expensive and every-,
way suitable appattement But;the
rooms-were-not -ommenearate-with-,his
So we abandoned 'Magness, and loot ourselves in
an immense cold hall, in the centre , of which, like,
icebergs in the-Polar Sea, were Me i architectural
cakes which had been exhibiting forgo week'
the great cook-shop, corner of Rues .do la Phix,
and do Rivoli
As Mr. John Paul Jefferaon Jones toasted '"The' /
Happy Pair," there was a distinct response trete.
Mrs. Jones, in the nature of a sniff;
The bride's father toasted the "Old Bachelors."
It was the only thaw we had. For itr elicited thee_
ffircad correspondent in ,Paris--You remember
bis terrible end—Mr. Edgar Old Buffer.' Shall t‘r
ever forget how this brilliant, this mars,
spoke, raising hia gaunt length from the "sae,
where ho was stretched, and - showing in , hie"
countenance the pallor of hisover-wqrk, and his.
deep dissipation! .
In a wonderful little impromptu, a string or'
puns and bon-mots, he set us , all at ease and:
made us merry. Then his eye, Which had me-;
mentarily cleared, drew on its film again an you'
see the Alm closeover the eye of theedgagle...
He asked for p unch, - and' he and the cag 4al rater,,
forgetting ns,closed in conversation in an alcove-
After I had seen-the , green -bonnets to their:
bower en the summit of Montmartre, I returner
to the Edict. Old Mr. Loinax, who had book ,
awaiting me, burst out of the billiard-room into;
the court-yard as I entered.; - ,
"Oh, I say," he cried in deep distress, •"couki
you do anything with Bogart He's here in, the
Estaminet, repeating his speech, with the mines
of my. boy and his sweetheart, to all the billiard
players!" ,
As I rode home with the brilliant earrespon-.
dent, he „was exceasively loldhit, and tried t o.
dance in the carriage.. Since then, poor repro
bate, he has danced the dance of the tremens into.
a stranger's grave in Pint Lachtdse. , .
But he was sufficiently knowing' to wink at
me as he was getting into bed, and to perpetrate
a quatrain 'which' may quote as the proverb of
my, tale. 'Thrusting' his long logs deep under,
the eider-down, he w' red and said :
"When parvenu •
Meets paragon, • •
Then, par exempts,
YouNre a pair o' loOns."
HOLLY TIDE.'
The wood %barren as.the woidi ' '
- The leaves have.rasted long agoll
The flowers have perished of the cold—
Not even the hot marigold -
Offers her bosom to the snow
, holly time.
The winds rend out•the empty rum%
The. robin shivers , in his song,
There Is no warmth in. Nature's breast ;
Faint gleams of brightness,. at the best,
The glory of the year prolong
• In holly time.
Yet sweet as days when ekles are blue,
And etterries•redden or. the rail.—
When blossoms, fed witii bun and deli,
Their beauty silently renew*-- •
Yea, sweeter, more desired than all
• • Is holly time..
For now, as if the Incarnate Word-
Walked it again, the sterile earth,
Remembering the glad tidb3gs heard
01 angels, to its heart is stirred
With promptings of renewing birth,
This holly time.
Joy in life's pulses throbs and burns,
The Hours, star-crested, sweep along,
Shedding delight from brimming urns ;
Youth to the heart of age returns, -
And fans the ashen brands of song
At holly time.
The sacred hearths, whence yule-fiames tise t c-
Are altars whereon, each apart,
The households offer sacrifice
Out of the tender sanctities , • ,
And superstitions of the heart, .•
This holly time' •
Thus do celestial glimpses bless
The stricken world, as though its woes;
Its sins, its sorrows fathomless,
Had ending, and the wilderness
Began to blossom like the rose
Ili holly time
WILLIAM BAwymn.
(Per the Philadelphia Evening Bulletin.] ,- •
HOW OLD PHIPPS MADE A FOOL OF HIM . -
SELF.
A 0111‘18TMAS SKETCH•
By Joint Quill.
"The fact is, Mrs. Phipps, the scepticism and
infidelity among the present'generation of &ll—
dren is awful."
"Yes," said Mrs. Phipps, who always eecOnded
her husband's opinion, "it is really awful." ,' ' ' A
.
" When I was a boy, I believed in everything,'• '
continued Phipps. - ."I would-have - sworn that -- L .„
Robkeitut Corsoe, actually did live on a desert. , : f.l
island; Jack the Giant Killer, I was absolutely •:,
... ,
certain,was a gory young butcher. I would have' . t /
taken myoath on a stack of Bibles a mile high
that Cinderella rode to court In a pumpkin coach. ..
••
and wore glass slippers."
"$o would I," said Mrs. Phipps.
"And there was Puss In Boots; I never doubted .b
.
his existence. I had, no infidelity on the questiom, :" s 'i .. .
of the cow that jumped over the, moon; Jack • , ",li
actually climbed the beanstalk,as far as my better I* , lt, ' ,,
extended. But children now-a-days don't believe • - I ,''
in anything." .
"Not a angle solitary thing," said Mrs: Phipps.
"And it's a bad sign, Mrs. Phipps, a WO 81011. r. 4
A child who 'don't acknowledge that there's • ~
fairyland, will begin 'to deny the existence of
_,.
,
MOM serious places when he grows up. Infidelity - -
•in youth is the beginning of scepticism bulge, ..;
depend upon it, Mrs. Phipps." ' 4
"That's just sot ' said Mrs. Phipps, look* up . ...
from her knitting . • ,
- "There's ourßob, now; he's only 12 yearn ofd
and yet the little beggar says he knows wel l
enough that no animal ever talked, as the.fables`'
, say they did; because, be save, tbey, can't.flia ,
s
mind's been' poisoned, Mrs. Phipps, against ttotte
fictitious beings and ;those ,fictitious things e , fo r- , ''
which'
all children in old'tinies Had fatty. '
"I'm afraid so," said Mrs. Phipps. , , . ~... „,
"And Bob says, he knciws all. florae fairy stories" .ty
ain't so, and ri'don't oven believe them when thellti - , f_
book asserts +iY arefounded on fact.," .- • - ~.. ' ~ f ,
"It's too 0 „_' °Jac/Aged Mrs. PhiPpp;pleidnic;f4,'•,,
itup a drown alien. _ . ,
_'" ~ ,
"its partly the fault of living in this conferunder'e
: boarding-house. Here only yesterday` ,I. "heard 4 . t . ,,
that ridiculous-old-maid, Mtait_B : ~. ‘ , ,
next room there. tell Bob that there was no such'. •,i
person as Ktise Xingle; and thathis patents were
. 4 1
'scrY wicked to deceive-blur with such stories." ,•• '
1 "It's scandalous ," ' Said Mrs: Thippis.
Y "I'll rip that false hair off her head the very /
first chance I get&and Bob he goes and tells
Torn and' John, and William' gem , and Mary ,'
i Jane, and Emil and Maria, and now. none of 3 :,.
them believein, it, It's pmfectly outrageous." ,
,
' "Yea,it is'ontrageous," twit' Mrs. Phipps. 7
"For my part, I go for ; keeping nil the old time',".:,
.customs,.
‘.custorns,licerid sol've made up my mind te