BY HENRY J. STAIILE. 38T H YEAR. TERMS OF THE COMPILER. IT7 The Repablienn Gin:idler is published every Monday niorning. by HENRY J. STAIILE, at $1,75 per annum if paid in advance---$2,00 per annum if not paid in advance. No sub- seripuop diseuttunued, uutess aE he option -tblisher. until all arrearages are paid, the pu MwEitTistoeumrs inserted at the usual rates. 'Jos Woks: dune, neatly, cheaply, and with dispatch. 079tfice on South Baltimore street, direct ly-opposite Wampler's Tinning Establishment, one and a half squares from the Court Bouse. ei ) otEe 13 octtp. The Best Estate. BY CHARLES SWAIN The Heart it bath its own estate;-- The Mind it hath its wealth untold ; It needs no fortune to be great, While there's a coin surpaming gold No matter which way fortune leans. Wealth makes not happiness secure ; A little mind loth little mcaus— A narrow heart is always poor. Stern Fate the greatest stiltenthrals, Aud misery bath its high o iinpeers, For Sorrow enters palace halls, And queens ate nut exempt from tears The princely robe and beggar's coat, The scythe and sword, the plume and plow, Are in the grave of equal note— Men live but in the eternal " now !" • &till disappointment tricks the proud, The bravest 'neath defeat.may fall ; The high, the rich. the courtly crowd, Find there's calamity far all. I Tis not the house that honor tnakes— , True honor is a thing divine ; It is the mind precedence takes— IC is the 'spirit makes the shrine ! So keep thou yet a generous heart, A Aeadfast and contented mind; And not, till death. bonseut to part . With that %chi& Friend to friend doth What's uttered from the life within Is heard not by the life without; There's always something to begin . 'Twist life in faith and life iu doubt-. But grasp thou Truth—though black appears The rugged path her steps have trod— She'll be thy friend in other spheres ; Couipauion in the world of God. The Snow. The silvery snow !.—the silvery snow ! Like a glory it falls on the fields below; And the trees with their diamond branches appear Like the fairy growthof some magical sphere ir% bile soft as inui:3ic. and wild as white, glitters and floats in the pale moonlight, And spangles the river and fount as they Llow; Oh ! who JIM nut loved the bright, beautiful snow ! The silvery snow., and the crinkling frost— How merry we go when the earth seems 'oat ; Like spirits that rise from the dust of Time, To live in a purer and holier clime A new creation without a stain— Lovely as Heaven's own pure domnirt. But. ah like the many fair hopes of our years, It glitters awhile—and then melts into tears. Select Stan. A Christmas Story. MY CHILDREN IN .ITOPIA. BY HARRY GRAY. It was Christmas-eve. and.l was seated in my easy chair, drawn up before the blazing wood-fire in my quiet study, lost in a golden reverie. Beautiful pictures of long ago, kept green in memory through many twilight mus ings, were passing before me. The present, too, with its cheerful realities; and the far-off future, with its hopeful plans, came to fill my heart with happiness. How long my reverie lasted I scarcely know, but 1 was suddenly aroused from it by seeing the old oak doer— ..that door which had been closed for many a year, that passed into the chamber where mother died--slowly open, and timidly and noiselessly come forth my- two-little ones, 'Mary and Fanny. By what means they had obtained ingress into that long-deserted room, the key of which I keep in the private drawer of my secretary, I never thought. to ask. So I seated theta, one on either knee,.while they twined their little arms, caressingly about my neck. and kissing me with their red lips, said they had conic for papa to tell them some Christ mas stories. I felt that God had been very ktud in bestowing upon tne two such precious gifts. Mary, my elder child, has the dark hair and the sparkling bliick eyes of her mother, and the very look which,. in my early manhood, had such power to draw me to that mother's side. Fanny, my baby-girl, has light hair and mild, blue eyes, and resembles—for so I think when in the musing mood—a fair dream of my boyhood, which faded into the shadow-land long before I knew how to distinguish between _love and sl , iterly_allection. -Mary is all vivaci. - ty and life ; Fanny is reserved and quiet ; Mary laughs aloud. Fanny only smiles ; Mary moves about our home like a singing bird, Fanny like a gleam of sunshide. '‘And what," asked I, '.shall papa tell to his little daughters ?" -Oh,'" said Mary, quickly. "first of all tell us those funny verses about Santa Claus corn ing down the chimney, dressed in furs, carry ing a big pack on his back and with a pipe in his ttetir, to fill our s-tockings. ,, "And then." said Fanny, 'please repeat, papa, that pretty hymn of sheplierds sitting on the ---- grounil watching their flocks by nig it. when the angel appeared and tuld thew of Christ's coming." And so, iA bile I repeated good Bishop Moore's well-known Christmas verses, they listened quietly. and when I ended. Mary ex claimed.clapping her hands with childish glee •O)h, how I should like to see 6,4iita Claus and the reindeers ! And don't you think, Papa, that. if I should sit up to-night fur Saint ICK an ask itn to give me a arge wa x doll. with eyes that open and shut, just like -I the one Coui.tit Nina lia4, he would du-it ? 2 -)- end me a taiuk. lull of pictures aad prett: Stone. ?" chimed in Fanny. I had - nut the heart to tell them that Santi. Clads was but as Luaazzaary beano, for I con- Xculupaittr----Pruntrit fn Votitirs: 3grirulturr, r itrnaturr, 3tts kritarro, 311arkrt5, (Rural Vumrstir ank farrigu 3utriiipurr, 3hertiging, .Inranutrnt, fir. sider that these mysteries of our childhood— this belief in fairies and good spirits—are of too poetical and beautiful a nature to be rude ly disenchanted of at an early age. The ideals of our childhood disappear fast enough before ones that I would speak to the saint in their behalf,while they. nestled snugly in bed. should be dreaming . of dolls and books, and I doubt not but their wishes would.,be gratified. Here Mary kissed my cheek and called me her good papa, while Fanny, held her head upon my shoulder and looked up into my face, her mild eyes beaming with gratitude. They were both very quiet and attentive while I repeated the Christinas hymn ; and when I had finished it, they asked• the for another, and then,another,till I s uite exhaust,- ed my stock of hymns and had to bring my inventive powers to the task in conjuring suit= able stories for the Christmas-eve. I remem-, ber I told them tales wherein the words plum pudding and mince pies, roast to-keys and flagons of ale,the yule log and wassail.had prom inent place. But I found that they bOth loved best to hear me tell of things that happened many long years before to myself, when I was a little boy, and hung 'up my stocking on Christmas eves ;:and, among other stories, I told them how. when I was a very small lad, not bigger than Fanny, I had gone with their great-grandmother Gray to the house of an old friend of hers, who lived in' the country, to spend the holidays. It was Christmas-eve when we arrived, and, as we had ridden a long, distance, in an open sleigh, I was Very tired and sleepy, and so, soon after supper, I . asked to be put to bed. Here Mary interrupted me to say that I Must have been a very little boy indeed to want to go to bed so early on Christ mas-eve, and that, for her part she shouldn't have been sleepy in the least ; but would have liked to sit up all night. This I knew was in tendea as a hint - to allow both Fanny and her self to stay up beyond the usual bed-time ; so I let the hour go by without diSintssing,theio, and continued my story. The chamber which I was to occupy with grandmother. was a very large one, filled with old-fashioned furniture ;. and I remember she told tile that the greater part of it ;acne over in the Mayflower along with the Pilgrim Fathers ; and while she undressed rue, she told me a long story about Captain Miles Standish and Gov ernor Carver, and the Indians, and Plymouth Rock, the greater portion of which_ I can still recall to mind. Ilere Mary wanted me to tell her what it was, but Fanny said. "no, wait till papa has finished telling us about himself."— So I continued as follows : "There seemed to my sleepy little eyes to he quite an army of r chairs ranged about the room, and, with their high, straight backs and long slender legs, they looked so strange, it::. - was difficult for me to keep from watching them. I half expected to see them step out 'into the middle of the room and make formal bows to each other. There was a large black walnut book-case on one side of the room, filled with great dusty volumes, that looked - as, if they could never have been read ; and I recollect walking boldly up to it, in my night-gown", and finding that the books on the lowest shelf were just as tall as I was, I Wondered whether I. would ever be able to read such hush vol umes." Here Fanny clapped her hands, and wanted to know if, when I came to be: a man, I had ever seen those great books again; and whe-' ther or not they had many pictures in them.— S I told her that they were the very ones she and Mary so often, of rainy Sundays, were fond of looking at, and having me explain the .pictures to them. This piece of news setwz(,..‘ LO astonish them very much, so that they ban got down and went to the book-case to look at those wonderful books, which, so many ye r' before, I had wondered at when a little boy. They were very anxious to know how it. came to pass, that I now owned them, and I told them that, one day, the good old lady, -their But I heard the church bells ringing mid grandmother's friend, who first possessed them, night, and proclaiming to all the world the died, when all her furniture and .books were glad tidings. "that unto- us this night is horn. sold, and I had bought these with many others. in the city of David, a Saviour, which is Christ Here Fanny said, —poor old lady," and cross- the Lord." And my voice joined in the migh , I • • • . IA bleb Li ;Lend. looking up into usy face must piteously, while her eyes filled with fears. But Mary asked, .‘where was her husband ? why didn't he keep her books ?" So I bad to tell her that he had been a soldier, but was killed at the battle of Bunker's Hill, soon after their marriage. At length I continued :--“Among other things in the chamber that particularly attract ed-my attention were several portraits, in gilt frames, upon the walls, so old and dusky that I thought to myself, they, too, mast have conic over in the Mayflower. There were two oval framed mirrors in the room, and a great bunch of peacock's feathers in one corner. 4•But the bedstead itself was - the crowning wonder ; so grand and gloomy did it look that I quite feared to sleep in it. Heavy, blue vel vet curtains surrounded it on every side,up held by four, tall posts at the corner. When my grandmother, however, parted the curtains in the middle, and roofed them up at the sides, with the great silk tassel, thereby revealing the white counterpane and lace-edged pillow cases, 1 began to think that there might be a woise place for sleeping in than that would prove to be. So raised was the bed from the floor that I had to be lifted into it, as it quite excelled my powers of climbing, even by the aid of a chair. When I sunk down in the lea coirkl-tart-jest-ste the top orray grand= mother's turban, as she stood at the bedside smoothing the coverlet about me. After I had repeated my prayers; and my grandmother had gone down stairs, and I was left alone, with only the ticking of the clock upon the mantle, and the light ot the blazing wouct-tire upon the hearth, to keep we company, 1 remembered that it was Christmas-eve, and that, occupied as I had been, I had forgotten to hang u p ivy stocking." Here Mary got down from my knee, and crept quietly to the chimney corner, where she bun' tv) a clean, white stocking, with wbleu her mother provided tier, and coining back, L!tighing, said she wouldn't forget such - a thing fur all t h e a ,i1.1(1. `..Nor kill 1," -aid Fiume-, "So soon as papa finishes hIS story." Su kissed my little daughters, and oynzinued : " What to do I thrt not khow. I eould - nnt get out of bed will' any certainty of being able to get hack again ; and a. for going 10 ,ieep With never a storilung_-_for.S.trita__l.2l;..us_to-fill-,-: it wa.s not Ltiou-at uf. So [ determined to wide - awake - , till either the good saint or 7„-randrantirt=xhouid arrive but I round it . y difficult for miry sleepy eves to keep oi.;en. every le W liniments the old Sand-malt calu,: , Ing and (bopped black Baal into them, LIN it one cle..,ed ar.,l then the other; and a; 1.15 t, GETTYSBURG, PA.: MONDAY, DEC, 24, 1855. in spite of all T could do, they both shut up tight and went to sleep." Here Mary opened her large eyes very wide, as If to let me see that no sand-man had come to trouble her yet. rs g time, I was suddenly aroused-by hearing the tinkling of sleigh-bells, and a% I raised myself softly in bed, I saw just, by the fire;place,•• Sania Claus himself, like asbe is deseribedin the Christmas verses." here Mary clapped her hands, but Fanny nestled .closer to my side. - "lle appeared to be looking for my stock ing, which he could not find ; and just as I had mustered courage to tell him where it was, he stepped up before the portrait of a gravedook ing-gentle man ,-whO-w ore-a-pow-dered-wig;-n nd displayed an' abundance of ruffles to his shirt front and around his wrists, and asked him— these were his very words—could he tell where little. Barry's stocking was- hung.? But no answer came from this _fine gentleman ; he on ly shook his head, and seemed to draw back in to the depths of the canvass. So Santa Claus put the Same question 'to the next portrait, which was that of a. prim and starched - gentle woman, evidently the wife of the first ; but she only pursed her. lips and said nothing. So he. questioned the. third';' a jolly-looking person, with a red.nose, and yellow waistcoat and gilt buttons,- who nodded and winked in return, but spoke not a word. At last in -despair, he turned to a portrait of a dainty-looking crew ture, dressed in white satin, with a red rose on 'her breast, and who had golden hair and blue eyes, and evidently wanted to get up a flirta tion with the good saint. But he seemed so indignant at the treatment he received, that tie turned his back upon her and would have gone off in a rage, had I not softly wished him a merry Christmas." "Oh. papa, how brave you must have been," said Fanny ; "I am sure I wouldn't have dared to speak to him." "Pshaw," exclaimed Mary, "I would, and I'd have told him, too, exactly what I wanted." "Well, my children," I continued, "my greetirg acted like a charm, for he instantly opened his pack, and took from it toys. and books, and candy, which he put upon the table, at the bedside. Just as he finished, a loud gush of music came up from the rooms below, and quickly shouldering his pack ; he,passed, with a "Merry Christmas" on his lips, direct ly up the chimney, and the next moment I saw . the shadow of his sleigh and reindeers glide across the frosted windowpanes, while, with a beating heart, full of wild, wishes for the-Mor row to come, again t fell asleep." As I finished my story. a. soft hand • was placed over my eyes, and a fond voice exclaim ed, -Barry, Barry, what a romancer you are ! How - can you fill our children's minds with such foolish tales ?" But I soothed my too matter-of-fact wife with the promise of a new set of furs on the morrow, and taking her hand in mine, drew her•to the chair beside me.— Fanny crept close to' her mother, and: putting up her rosy lips fora kiss, told her not to scold dear .papa. And so. With the fire-light still flickering on the wall, and the wind roaring and blustering without, we passed our Christ mas eve. And still I repeated many a pleaS ant tale, and my sweet wife sung many an olden song, and the children prattled en nay knees. • But as the midnight came, the light grew dim, the fire mouldered on the hearth, the songs and stories ceased, and the children's prattle died away. And as I stretched out to - my wife's hand in mine, I groped about in vain ; my little Mary's artn no, longer.clasped my neck,. nor' Fanny's head rested upon my shoulder. I started up and. found that all had been a dream—that wife and children of mine lived not yet upon the earth, but had a place only in that far-ofi land of Utopia, where su many men's possessions and treasures ever re main. ,:norous, "'co :rum a. :iris, ,ota arose, •Glory to God in the highest.; and on eatth peace, good will toward men." Zetect illisccitann. An Auction of Ladies. An auction of unmarried ladies used to take place annually in Babylon. The most beauti ful was first put up, and the man who bid the largest sum of money gained possession of her. The second in personal appearance followed, and the bidders gratified themselves with hand some wives, according to the depth of their purses. But, alas ! it seems there were in Babylon some ladies for whom no money was likely to be offered: yet these also were disposed of, so provident were the Babylonians. When all the beautiful virgins," says the historian, "were sold; the crier ordered the most deformed to stand, and alter be had openly demanded who would marry her with a small sum, she was at length adjudicated to the man who would be satisfied with the least ; in this man ner, the money arising from the sale or the handsome served as a portion to those who were either of disagi eeahle looks or that had an other imperfections." This-custom pre vailed about 500 years before Christ. Daniel Webster's Marriage. The manner of Daniel Webster's engagement to Miss Fletcher is thus pleasantly told by a fetter writer: ••He vvus then a young lawyer in Portsmouth, N. H. At one of his visits to Miss Grace Fletcher he had, probably with a view of util ity an,: enjoyment, been holding skeins of silk thread for ner. when suddenly he stopped, say ing, "Grace, we have thus been engaged in un tying knots ; let tis see if we c.in tie 3 01 ie—w rrre 1-- no then took a piece of tape. and, after beginning a knot rd a peculiar kind, gave it. to her to comp:etc. This was the ceremony and ratifi cation of their engagement. Arid now in the little box lilan‘ed oy him with the v.urd.i — Pre- CVJU.s DUCLIIIIen " containing the letters of his e.irly courtship, this unique memorial is still to lie found—the knot never untied." 1 - 7 -- A married. women in Pottsville. a few days ago, was, stfely delivered of three clid urea a 4 a ,iugle 1)110 - i - , - . — (;ki:i:ifit:Tii - ig this her nunbauri tla:, tieett atment iu l'..alita llid for the 1 iaA two )ears, (oavicig returued but a day or two ago) the result /6 A pl)):A.,:oz,ical pbeno- Menon. IS MIGHTY, AND WILL PREVAIL." .‘About the end of the eighteenth century, whenever any student of the Marischal College, Aberdeen. Scotland, incur red the displeasure of the-humbler-citizens, he was assailed with the question. 'Who Murdered • Downie ?' Reply and rejoinder generally brought on a collision between 'Town and Gown.' although the young gentlemen were accused of what was chronol ogically impossible. People have a right to be angry at being stigmatized as murderers, when their accusers have probability on their 0 - de - T - buttlio - ltaking Downi - coectir red when the gownsmen, so maligned, were in swaddling-clothes. •'But there was a time when to be branded as an accomplice in the slaughter' of Richard Downie, made his blood run to the cheek of many a youth. and sent him home to his hooks, thoughtful and subdued. ..Downie was sacrist or janitor at Marischal College. One of his duties 'consisted in secu ring te gate by a certain hour, previous to which all the students had to assemble in th e cominon hall,. where a Latin prayer. was de livered by the principal. Whether in discharg ing thin function; Downie was more rigid than his predecessor in office, or-whether he became stricter in the'perfw mance of it at one—time ' than another, cannot now be ascertained ; - but there can be no doubt that he closed' the gate with austere pUnctuality, and that those who were not in the common hall within.a minute of the prescribed time, were shut out, and were afterwards reprimanded and' fined by the prin cipal and professors., The students became irritated at this strictness, and took every pet ty means of annoying the sacrist ; he in his turn, applied the screw at other points of aca demic routine, and a fierce war soon began to rage between the collegians and the humble: functionary. Downie took care that in till his proceedings he kept within the strict letter of the law; but his opponents were not so care ful, and the decisions of the rulers were formly against them, and in favor 'of Downie. Reprimands aiid fines having failed in produ cing, due subordination, rustication, suspen sion, and even the extreme sentence of expul- ' sion had to be put in force : and in the end, law and order prevailed. But a secret-and deadly grudge continued Le be entertained against Downie. Various schemes of revenge were thought of. "Downie was, in common with the teachers and the taught, enjoying the leisure of the shjrt New Ye:IT'S vacation ; the pleasure being, no doubt greatly enhanced by the annoyances to which he had been subjected during the-re cent bickerings ; when. as he was one evening seated with his family in his official- residence at the gate, a messenger informed him that a gentleman at a neighboring -hotel wished to speak with-aim. Downie obeyed the sum mons, and. was . ushered from one room into another, till at length he found himself in large-apartment bung with black, and lighted by a solitary candle. After waiting for some time in Oda strange place, about fifty figures, also dressed in black, dud with black fartsks on their faces, presented themselves. They . ar ranged themselves in the form of a court ; and Downie- was 'given to understand that he was about to be put on trial. "A judge took his scat on the bench ; a clerk and public prosecutor sat Wow ; a jury was empanelled ; and witnesses and spectators stood around. Downie at first set down the whole affair as a joke : but the proceedings were conducted with such persistent gravity. that, in spite of himself, he hegaieto believe in the genuine mission of the awful tribunal. The clerk read- ,an indictment, charging hum with conspiring against thefilierties of the stu dents ; witnesses were examined in due form : the public prosecutor addressed the jury ; and the judge summed up. 'qkotlemen,' said Downie, 'the joke has been carried far enough ; it is getting late, and my wife and family will be anxious about me, It 1 t • been I, nave been too strict with you in trine past, I am sorry for it ; and I assure you I wail take more care in future.' ' 'Gentlemen of the jury,' slid the judge, without paying the rslightest attention to this appeal, •consider your verdict ; if you wish to retire, do so.' ‘.The jury -retired. During their absence the most profound silence was observed ; and except renewing the solitary candle &hat burnt beside the judge, there was nut the slightest movement. ."The jury returned and recorded a verdict, of •Guilty !' '.The judge solemnly assumed a, large black cap, and addressed the prisoner : ." 'Richard Downie! The jury have unani mously round you guilty of conspiring against thepst liberty and inn' mities of the students of 3 ariscAal College. You have wantonly pro voked and insulted those inoffensive lieges for so:ne months. and your punishment will as suredly bw condign. You must prepare for death ! In fifteen minutes the sentence of the court will be carried into effect.' '•The judge placed his watch on the bench. A block, an axe, and a bag of saw-dust were brought into the centre of the room. A figure more terrible than any that bad yet appeared. came forward. andprepared to a thepitrl-01 . _ doomster. ,• ft was now past midnight. There was no sonnd audible save the ominous ticking of the judge's watch. Downie beeatue more and more alarmed. " 'For God's sake !gentlemen,' said the ter rified min, let me go home. I protnise that you never again shall have canse fur complaint.' " 'Richard a)wnie,' remarked the judge. 'you are vainly wasting the few moments that are left you on earth. You hands of those who demand your life. 10 human power can save you. Attempt to utter one 'I:I - 3 :373U lire seized. and your floolu is complete before you can utter another : - Every one here present has r,worn a solemn oath never to re veal the proceedings of this rii,tht ; they arc known to mule but ourselves ; and when the object flr w htch We have ;net i, rt eeom plish e d. we shall disperse, unknown to any one. Pre pare. then. for death : another nnuntes will he al towed you —butt no more --The-unfortunate--trnt-c - a , ohin - any - ndea - 4; - ' • Iy terror, raVell and shrieked for mercy ; but th avenger' !nit' no heed to hi Cries. /11%; fevered. trent - hi - mg Tfs then moved a: if in al ien( prayer ; for he (dh that the brief space tie tween bun and et,dnity was but a fuw tuore ticking,: of that ominnus - wateh. exclikiaied the judge. The Murder of Richard Downie. A FRIGHT AS GOOD AS AN AXE We are indebted to the Knickerbocker for the roduction of the followin: true stor .of the ME= 4 Tour persons stepped forward and seized Downie,. on whose features a cold. clammy sweat had burst forth. They bared his neck, and nride hiM kneel before the block. • Strike l' exclaimed the 'udge. •,'m executioner stritc - t axe -on tto floor an assistant on the opposite side. lifted at the same moment a wet towel, and struck it violently across the neck of the reCinnbent criminal. A loud .hiugh announced that the joke had at last conic to an end . . “BuCbownie responded not to the uproai i ous "They laughed again but ,still he moved . not. They lifted him, and Downie was, dead ! “Flight bad killed him as' etfectually as if the axe of a real headsman had severed his t was-a tragedy to all. The medical stu dents tried to open a vein, but all was over ; and the conspirators had now to bethink them :lielves of safety. They- now in reality swore an oath among themselves ; and the affrighted young men, carrying their . disgaises with left the body of Downie lying w the hotel. '.One of their number told the landlord that their entertainment *na not quite over, and that they did not wish the individual who was left in the room to be disturbed for,some :tours. This was to give them nll time to esenpe. „ Next morning the body was found. Judi cial inquiry was instituted, but no satisfactory result could be arrived at. The corpse of-poor Downie exhibited no marks of violence-internal or external'. The in-will between hint and the students was known ; it was also known that. the students had hired apartments in the 'hotel for a theatrical representation ; Downie bad been sent tbr by them, but beyond this, nothing %Val known. No noise had been heard. and no proof of murder could be adduced. : Df two hundred students of the College, who could point out the guilty or suspected tilty3 More over, the students scattered orei the city and the magibtrates themselves had many of their own (hinnies among the number, and tt was not desirable to go into the affair too minutely. "Downie's widow and family were provided for, and his slaughter remained a mysterY: until, about fifteen years atter its occurrence, a gentleman on : his - death-bed disclosed the whole particulars, and avowed himself tebave belonged to the obnoxious clasS of students who murdered 'Downie." Bullying i Witness. One likes always to see an inipndent lawyer, whose forte is to banter _and bully witnesseho brought up with a round turn by some victim of his ill natured bearing. We heard a recent instance the other day, which is worth relating, A case was being tried on Long. Island, about the Soundness 01 a horse, in Which a. clergy man, not very conversant, in.suth matters. wag a.witness. l.fu WAS a little confused in giving his evidence. and a blustering fellow of a law yer, who examined him, at last exclaimed: -Pray, sir, do you know the difference between a horse and a cow ?" "I acknowledge my, ig norance,"..replied the clergyman ; hardly know the difference between a horse and a cow, or a Gaily and n bull, only that the bull -hag horns, and a bully, (bowing in mock respect to the pettifogger,) luckily for inerhas none !" 'You can retire, sir," said the lawyer, "rye no further - questions to ask you.''-IV. Y. Dutchman. Tho Philadelphia Sun, which has a rare eye for - - qiieer WIN, gives the following as• a warnint; specimen of what a reporter once did when July armei and equipped according to law with a brick in his hat, a snake - in his boot and a shut in his necit : Yesterday morning _at '4 o'clock, P. a small man named Junes, or Brown, or Smith, with a heel in the hole of his trowsers commit. ',Ltd urseitie by swallowing a dose of suicide - . The verdict of the inquest, returned a jury that, the deceased came to the _facts in aecordunce with his death. He leaves a child and six small Wives to lament the end of his untimely losn. In death we are in the midst, of life, MR- SNIPES' LITANY. --Frain doctor's pills, • " • Prow want of gold'. and wives that scold, and ►uaidens old, and sharpers "sold," deliver us. From stinging flies, and greenish eyes, and baker's files, and baby's cries, a man that lies, and cloudy skies, and love that dies, and fickle, ties, and gaudy dyes, deliver us. From bearded females, strong-minded wo men (this don't jingle,) female lecturers and all other masculine ladies, deliver us. From creaking (lours, a w ife that suores, con kiunded bores. deliver us. Froth colic gripes, and Mrs. Snipes, deliver US. From modest girls, with waving curls and teeth of pearls—oh, never mind. fl• - "A curious point of law has just been de. cided by a county court judge at Exeter, Eng land.—The question was whether an inhabitant of a town was at liberty to keep an:mais whose noise proved a serious annoyance to their neighbors. It was sworn on the part of a Alr. Abrah.mt that his neighbor, .11r. Minty, had a cock which crowed 150 times in 25 minutes. The learned judge thought this vtras an amount of crowing wineh human nature was not bound to put up with, and awarded to the pla.intill Is. damages. SHOULD TRIOAT sian poet gives the following instruction on this important point : ••When thou art mar ried seek to - please thy wife ; but listen not to all that she says. 'ron► man's right side - c rib was taken to form the woman, and never was seen a rib (rite straight. It breaks but bends not. Since then, it is plain that crooked is a woman's temper, forgive her faults, and blame her nut, nor let her anger thee, nor cor rection use, as it Is vain to straighteu What is ctookedl" Covsciusx[ucs•--The South-.. Carolina Con ference have resolved to sell their interest, as individuals , in the stock of the South Carolina It:till - oaf! Company. "lieCanse Lf4A Cump:u►y would worli on the Sdhhatl► flay, a n d they du: not Wish to partake ►u tualtiup money on t h e fZ.7.".1.071)," said a man to his friend. “I think it highly dinigerou , to keep the hills of siii,lll banks on hand now-a-days." —'lll.lv," at -s' t te, Ot than dangootts." • TIIEYELLOW FEVER FeNn.-_1 correspo,vient. or the I'eto-:,1,i,r,; Express says that tho row ri bu Lions for yello..v fever 'sulftrers in I. , :ortoik and Port4Lauuth have autoaated Lo 10,000. laira more ukWault TWO DOLLAP.i) Marriage Notices. . Reader, if' you are married. or' hope to fia married-6.n hope which is said to spring eter. • - nal in the human breast—pray tell us, , if you In.bew_weLltre_to-phrase-it-.—A re 'you. for. i nstance , married to a 'lady : or are you married - with a lady. or should we say that you and a lady are married ? Such is the question - we have been discussing with severalsof our learn. eil master.% Of . the English langung,e through the past -week. Some of them _bring a deal or wisdom and sagacity to bear upon this mo. • mentouti point, some deciding in one wtty, while others. as peorl i e will, decide different. ly. It is asserted . that the words ..tuarried,tu a fatly" are disrepectful to the lady,.and there. . fore - _it 'is Inure - proper to say • •tand"---John' Smith and Sarah Caudle, thus placing thepat ties on a more, equal footing. 'The authorities are, "no doubt.'ell in favor of the 'old" phrase. ology. Milton , has it ..married to inuntrrtat verse," and Shakspeare speaks of being •nnar. ried to a \vile.", But you . know that precedent and authority ire nothing ag.linSt reirolutionnty innovation, which attacks grammars -and Yu calutlaries as relentlessly es t hatters down , thrones and upsets euriPireS. Will yOu then 4-tnarrieci: to." or 'quarried with - ," or .wniar.. ried and ?" There - is, however, another Way, whirls may "reconcile these ,difficulties. .Ilow : if it were worded as follows : . -• • "Jfarricl tozelhcr, by Rev. Mr. PuutiateZ4 John Striith 80-Sarah Caudle." • • ' " The ..disrepeet" ir3 hereby di videdt'ind et., cept as regards the precedence or ..n [ uit, a wr , t,, feet, eknulity of announcement iK attained.' You that are single, marry, and tvi say trtitb`' Lady bliabeth—=. upon the order . yo ring( . ; But go atuuee," and marry to a lady: • —=.lfrid:g•ettun A Jog.ic i,r SPIV , : OF 1119 TEIKTR, —Some - peep' ple rimy Imagine that the knreitsicin with the toothache" • is- a mere phrase the following.joke made by en individual wherk,.; Suffering under acute pain in one of his-utebirs4 c , affords proof of the existence of what.may be* called dental' insanity: While rolling in ago► ny from one side 'of the hod to the other; .144 Unreasonable questiou,being asked himself .the inicAlle of the night, ", What, property iY A , man likely, to come into. if all his lower teeth !Mould beCome affected ?" The. reply Wiis'iou= mad as' the question, ' , About at dezen in Rotten Row," Sorely this matt's friend*,, had" better take out his teeth. or. take out commission of =Old Tiiek4 wnR 11TO1V1 - ttu could be heard furtherthan bbieltionitlea. forge ; but his- wife. became' so' accustomed to it.that it soothed her (,), repo!. They .rere very domestic! couple ! --trv,ey, slept,,spart,fur_ many years. At length' the old coin wait:re quired to attend court at . stutio• ilisuitite:' • • The tlrst night after. his departure his' , Avife,lnever slept a wini‘,..; she missed, the ; smtring,4 Vito second night passed away, in, thksainemanner witliout.sleep. • She thus' getting' into •ti bad way, and probably Would -hare died; had"' it, not been for the ingenuity of the !servant. 'She lank to,grinding elffeein ; her stistreneseitase.- 64r, and the vase put herlu steep ut.unee KILLING HOGS IN °LAWNT:I4Z —The Romanw were notoriously fund of pork. So t hey, stuttied , every 'artistic tnethod to improve tts flavor, and, add to its delicacy'. A living Ing WaS, taken: made to swallow vinegarce great varietrof' herbs. all,boiled together, and then huntedlato. ly whipped to death. and _then r - dosted forth., with. The Norrrians' had a still inure barbarous way of killing piggy, in order to render hiS fleshrtnore . palatable., mode of killing wus peculiarly savage. They thrust a red hot spit through the body of ,the pig and sytfored, it to dio with Out . bleeding. Even if by this' method the flesh • was'nvide - teitsieri the retert;': tion of the blood- changed its . :color. posed it to a more speedt putrefaction. •f; IT - 7U is said that Roht. Owen. well knrsvri for many years as one 9f the staunchest_ intl•' dell of the day. and aleader . among theft'', has f+eetr-eo►+verted—to---Spirit+ialimn;ti though, tit) years of age. quite active ia London in issuing pamphlets upon that' subject, eounw. teraeting the efforts which he gave to the cause. of infidelity ftir lialf a century. - • .talking.match lately "came off" _at New Orleans foi five, tliAlars a side. It contin ued, according 'to the Advertise 4 - for, thirte en hours, the rivals being a Frenchman and Ken tuckian. The bystanders and judges were tallied to sleep, and when they waked op in the morning they. found the. Frenchman dead. and the Kentuckian whispering'in his a:7'The - Providence Postman says that "kissing in the abstract" tneans kissing a pret ty girl, all alone by one's self. We do not know anything about • - kisser; in the ab stract." but we can testify that kissing a pret ty girl in the entry, just before bidding her "good night," is no very unplea:sant operation: SIIMIP.—A certain newspaper in Cleveland having advertised that they would .4end a copy of their piper gratis for one year. to a person who would send them a club of ten. received the lets yid of ciubo from a young lady in the count! . EDITORIAL CASUISTRYA Pe:Ml.4ylvanitt itor says, f•Soi►lebody brought one bottle of soured water into - ota office, with the request to notice it us Lemon Beer. If E.%;au was greea enough to dell his birthright for a mess or pot. tage, it does not prove that we will tell a 4 Willing lie, for ME CENTS." t r-7A queer gatherer of statistics says that of 158 pretty woman whom he met in the streets of a fashionable resort in a given time. 100 iver6 bliCklUg their parasol handles. rQA good book and a good woman are ex cellent toings for those - who know how juLitly to appreciate—their-value: There- -are- anep - , however, who judge boat Crum the beauty or thdr conversation. k emphatically the poor man's para(ll,,e. The rich. with their many resouree. too often lire a way from the hearth-a:use, is heart if not as Enron. PENNSVIX k NIA FISASOKS.—Tho receipts or the PvtubylNAn___State_lx.ew,ury—dating—Ltie__ year end ink; on Ole Ist of December, mere 85.- aud the expendaures 65,385.705,- 52. aalt is said' there arr more lies told in brief sentence, "1 am glad to see you." than 411 any other DinolB beauxce la the Eagliah Jittr gunge. NO• la