Br lIENRY J. STAME.
BM
~i
TERMS OF THE COMPILER.
Tie Republican rumpikr is published
every Monday morning, by IliNar J. STAHLE,
a t $1.75 per annum if paid in advancc-2.00
per annum if not paid in advance. No sub:
scription "discontinued, unless at the option of
the publisher, until all arrcarages ar' paid.
ADrERTNEMENTS inserted at the usual rates.
JOB WOB.K: dune, neatly, cheaply, and with
dispatch.
' L L_Otlice on South Baltimore s
ly opposite 'ampler's Tinning Establishinen
one and a half squares from the Court House
Coice ,poctrn.
From I.lallott's Pictorial
THE COURSE OF THE STREAM.
BY CIIMCLES CIIAMPNEY
Through the green and sunny meadow,
beep beneath the %%tying, sli.ktour
Of the iletlt
There flows a pleasant little stream,
Oft sparkling in the bright sunbeam,
ltihisperiuggentle
Here and there it rmihes madly,
Ma - and then it murmur?, sadly,
Here again is ;
In its jr ne'er delaying,
O'er the poln,lied pebbles playing,
Ever naives the rill.
In its cool and dark recesses,
O'er which hang gay leafy t asses,
Waiving all about.
Or beneath toe sunlight basking,
Kisses &eau the waters asking,
Dwelt the speckled. trout.
From its birthplace on the mountain.
From the sparkling. dropping fountain,
.:Votes it m its course
To it, ge.tv e. the 'nighty river
Flowing ileadlong, howihi; ever,
'Shutting deeply hoarse,
Like a stream ail nature's moving,
Unto mortal lies.rts Stiiiproving,
We must ever on.
AK the 42 earn returning never,
through life roust journey ever,
Till ear task is dune. •
Sweet Sabbath of the ear.
eu ening shades decay.
Thy p.trtuui g meth iuks 1 hear,
:teal from the world away.
Amid thy silent flowers
'Ti. sail. but sweet, to dwell,
Where falling. leaves and I/ :1111ping Bowers,
Around inikireatne fare v, ell.
Along thy soviet skies'
Their glories n.elt
And, like the thing 4 we fondly prize,
eeent lovelier as they fade.-
A deep and crimson streak
Thy dying leaven; ;
As on Consumption's wantug cheek,
liii ruin, blooms the rO.m.
Thv scene earth vision brings
Of beauty io decay ;
Of fair awl early fadenithinge,
Too exqukite to
Of joys that come no more ;
!lowers will)•0 bloom iM fled.
Of fa re el k uept upon the ,bore;
Of t'ricnd, ebtranged or deA ;
Of all that now Way seem ;
To - nunneries tearful eye•,
The vanished beauty of a ilrain ;
O'er •vhich 14e gaze and Nigh.
icicct £fiiccttaim.
Unnoticed and'Unhonored Heroes.
.
- hen I see a man holding faster his upright-,
ness in proportion as it is, assailed ; fortifying
his religious trust . in proportion as Providence
is obscure ; hoping in the ultimate triumph of
virtue more surely in proportion to its present
afflictions ; cherishing philanthropy amidst the
discouraging experience of men's unkindness
and unthankfuluess ; extending to others a
sympathy which his' own sufferings need, but
cannot obtain ; growing milder and gentler
amidst what tends to exasperate and harden ;
and. th ough inward principle, converting the
very incitements to evil into the occasions of
a victoi7ious virtue ; I see an explanation, and
a noble explanation, of the present state. I
see a good produced, so transcentien' in its na
ture as to justify-all the evil and.suffering-un
der winch it grows up. I should think the
formation of a fekv such minds worth all the
apparatus of the present, world, I should say
that this earth, with its continents and oceans,
its seasoin.te.q. harvests, and its successive
generations, was a work worthy of tiod, even
were it to accomplish no other- end than the
training and manifestation of the illustrious
characters which are scattered through hiFtory.
And when I consider " . .ow small a portion of
human virtue is recorded by history. how su
perior indignity, as well as in number, are
the unnoticed and unhonored saints and he
roes of domestic and humble life, I see a light
thrown over the present atate which more than
reconciles me to all its evil. —channing.
CIIKERFULNESS AND SO\G.--If you would
keep spring in your hearts, learn to sing.—
There is more merit in melody than most peo
ple are aware of. A cobbler who smooths his
wax-ends with asong will do as much work in
a day as one given to ill-nature and fretting
w o uld effect in a week. Songs are like sun
shine they tun to cheerfulness =to till the
bosom with such buoyancy that for the time
being, you feel filled with June air, orlike a
meadow of clover in blossom.
FASHIONABLE GI,OV K.—There is quite a rage
litre now Mr a particular kind of gime which
her majesty woie during her recent viol to
Pails. It is styled the "Dauphitty," and is
cut in such a way as to provide against the
Ii a ctions which kid is heir to. and_Ahe Mjwj
-
We fit thereby induced must give the princi
ple inure than an eperneral extstence. There
is a double piece of soft kid round the pulse
and wrist giving the requisite length to the
glove, and getting rid of that, naked demarca
t„," o f the arm between the sleeve. as now
‘rorn, and the ordinary glove. I must say
that it is a decided iniprovement upon the old
fashion. awl deserves to be popular.—Loiion
Latcr to 7Vittes.
la tel y—at — t Ire Alps
w r i tes :—•1 was lust in capture and amaze.
went, and was in all the enjoyment which
birch a scene biz-Tires, when I was distui bed
in my reverie hr the heavy breathing of a man,
better desciibjd as pulling, and kowing.
Untied round, and beheld the very type and ;
figure of a railway contractor. • Hu hoof:et' at
rue, aild putting its huge paw upon my shoul
der, asked to such a voice, Wis [item the
•,
__ _
. _.... ! ;J" Always earn before you spend, and keep
_ ___.
- ._ I dy. She had married for a house and 111 till ;
,r7-.1% - e are at - nu:tinted with a printer who ; a balance in your p „,,,, e.
Ile that dies a matter, proves that he tenance, not to spend her time in milling pie- ,is so enthusiastic in his business, that he nev
,
was Ito: a knave. but by no weau.i that he was ! crust or moulding. bread. . . ' , :n . .it df-iwil toffinner without lusi4ing, oh ace
i,,,t a 1;),....- 7 t...oiiiin. i ihury lboruwzi looked suriN/zed, awl •no zriz a pruv ~, the p.:ardi,G.
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3 •,5a tilt Autyiinyer----Eitufftrh to Vplitirs, "31tritnitnrr, litiraturr , 3 115 na kfirlars, (nit 311nrItit5, Orurrnl lumrsfir nu' /orris, 3iltriligrurr, 3t'aurrtising, 3iumeintut,
AUTUMN.
White Hands, and Muddy Coffee.
Henry Thornton had been a married man
just two months. He was proud of hi wife's
glossy ringlets, her brilliant eyes, and, last of
all, her small white hands. Ile never once
ai.ked himself if,these same hands cou'id iron a
shirt, make bread, or' mend a pair of socks.
Not he it was enough to know that they could
make trills on the patio, work worsted dogs
and horses on crickets and ottomans, and paint
_sot utahing_stylecLa—landsca pa.-----She--w as not
literary either. henry Thornton couldn't tol
' et ate that kind of absurdity. In his opinion,
a woman had much better be asleep, than put
ting her thoughts upon paper. He thanked
fortune, too, that she never took to reading di-y
disquisitions, tedious essays, or egotistical
criticisms on egotistical books. Besides, his
Helen didn't care ab( a: polities, being regu
lar "Know Nothing" in regard to the item of
EMI
who stood the bestchanceOf beini, the next
President. As to the war in the East, she
could not tell positively whether Sebastopol
was up or down, or whether it was in the
hands ofthe Allies or Russians. Reformat*
topics she never broached. either - ; temperance
was only fit fur drunkards' wive , : to talk about.
So it will be perceived that Helen Thornton
was not a "strong-minded” feniale ; fact
upon which her husband felicitated himself
not a little.
We have said that two months comprised the
married life of the latter. It would be grati
fying to add that his happiness was complete,
that he had nothing to wish for ; but candor
compels me to say that he had discovered a
little alloy in his gold. To be sure it would
pass for pure metal, but close examination dts 7
closed the fact. In a word, his coffee had been
exceedingly muddy for more than a week, .and
when he cautiously dropped a hint
. to the effect
that if . her personal attention was given to the
matter, the evil might lie remedied, she rather
tartly responded that “coffee-making, was not
her business," moreover shutting herself up
in her chamber in a miff. thus depriving him
of her precious company for the rest of the
day. A kiss and a new scarf set the matter
right the next morning, however, Mr. Thorn
ton throwing in gratis an apology for his
ill
timed suggestion. Ile remembered that-all
mankind (and we may as well include woman
kind) seldom attain to perfection ; the...roses
always grow in the immediate vicinity of
thorns; and that rainbows and black clouds
are often seen together. .
It is a curious fact, but no less true,. that
love scarcely ever outlives bad bread, stnokey
tea, - thick coffee, hard - boiled eggs, discolored
silver„atid soiled table linen. After all the'
romanoe and rhapsody !aid to his charge, the
little gentleman deals in practicabilities. Ile
likes bread and butter, and he wants the bread
light and the butter sweet. Ile .
acting, too : insisting that gaiters look better
neatly laced than when open and Slapping nt
the • sides, with the 'strings trailing on the
ground. Ile was even known once to take an
abrupt. leave of a lady un the ostenrable plea
Of dissimilarity of disposition ; but shrewd_
people suspected that the trt.e reason was be
cause she wore - dirty collars. lie may be
whnnsically flighty,' and - extravagant some
times, but he is just as sure to leave his air
castles and settle down quietly to the three
meals a day and a cigar in the evening. as a
feather is to obey the laws °fp avitation. Ile
writes tender poetry, too ; but generally inspi
ration seizes.,hint after eating heartily of roast
beef; the sly rogue knows that an empty stom
ach is not favorable to smooth rhyme or soft
sentiment.
The honeymoon had just expired, or, rather,
the months allotted to that interesting period :
for it has been ascertained that that season
can be protracted by proper means to an in
definite length of time. The twain were seat
ed at the breakfast table. Mr. .Thormon
looked dubiously at the burned and di icd steak
on the platter, befote.him, made a wry face at
his cup of coffee, took One mouthful of the
clammy,' leathery toast, and then spoke :
"My dear
,110I2n." •
Mr. Thornton."
"Did you ever eat any of my mother's
bread 2"
"No—why do you ask ?"
eeause s ui taakvs the best biscuit I ever
sa w."
"Undoubtedly! A man's mother is gener
ally his wife's superior in everything. l only
wonder he is ever persuaded to leave her !"
responded Mrs. Thornton dryly.
It - was the first time she hhd ever spoken
sarcastically, and Henry was puzzled.
"1 merely reti!rred to mybecause she
superintends - the bread making herself. I
wisti you could he induced to do the same."
The lady lilted her taper lingers.
'•1)o you really I,vish we to putty my hands
with'pie crust, and bur, my tam in dough,
Mr. Tluu•nton f"
"No—not that exactly, my love : but you
could overlook Biddy, and teach her to make
better stuff that, tins," he added, pointing, to
the toast. ••'That wouldn't spoil your hands,
would it ?"
'•1 don't know bow ; besides, Biddy don't
want me in the kitchen, and ['in riot particu
larly attracted there. I don t mean - to spend
Inv life doing housework, or fretting about
Bervains. I'n► - nut - aide to do anything more
than wt•ait upon the table and entertain visi
tors."
The bride sighed and leaned back in her
chair.
'.But your cousin Mary keeps no help act
still bets time to—"
••Aly cousin Mary is very foolish to do so
mar wr--s—re
than she used to. And then her
hands are as brown as a gypsy's."
"I never happened to notice them. • 1 only
remember she makes delicate pastry, and plays
the piano nearly as well as yourself, ' rejoined
Mr. Thorn ton, soot kingly.
"I wish you would!: t quote Cousin Mary.
E don't ti Ise comparison. She's a drudge and
a blne.• You said yon did not hive blues."
"1 don't—Lb - kindvs arc my faveritvs ; and
you are as pretty a Mouth; as eti•er I saw. "
_ VOCAU2,- (it --W4lili-tn-s-rig 00-
How Often you have said you were g,lad that I
don't interleie subjects which don't con
cern nay ~cx. And now you are finding fault
with nay lavu-:eiseeping."
"That's the idea. nay love. I'm only re
gretting your non-interference in inatten, that
coneern your sea."
Thornton -defined her position" im
mediately: She did nut design burying. her
-in tin_ kite! la. or - attachlia,z, hvist.ll
1 rTs 1T ?
wonder. for he felt surprised. That his ado
rable Helen could be perverse when tt suited
her, he well knew ; - hut that she should_.‘iput,
down her foot" so determinedly. set him to
thinking. The youn , * e' . husband did not wish
his wife to perform the duties belonging to the
domestic. but hoped she would take the general
supervision of matters. He was a clerk, with
a modest salary, and prudence was indis
pensable to his situation. The story need not
he lengthened: Waste and • improvidence in
the kitchen soon brought pecuniary embarrass
ment, while in the parlor incapacity and
ignorance of what constitutes n true woman
and real_ lady, laid the foundation of ranch
discord, which time did not lessen. The ehtyrin
of the —white hand" had departed. Mere per
sonal beauty, without intellectual attainments,
-a fund of common sense and moral worth can
not. prove long attractive, Think- of it, ye
Benedicts in search of connubial felicity.—
Ballou's
_.,.[C7 -- One dotty speculators in real estate met
fi and relative in the street n few days
since, when the folle‘fing dialogue took place :
'•[lnv do you dn. 0. ?"
"Not very well. Fa."
"Why, what's the matter ? You should he
in good spirits, money is getting easier ; lots
are gradually rising." '
"Well, hut tisn't that. r was down in S.'s
office a whole hour to-day. We were talking
about the whet world. Yon know he is a
Swede nborgian. lie says we will be, doing the
same kind of work in the next world that we
have been englged in bore. I will tel' yti Fz,
that's what makes me feel bad. I - ha v e been
shinning it and shinning it here fur the last
twenty years, and I'll he hanged if I like the
idea of shinning it to all eternity !"
PATRICK'S W ARDRO4: —At ft Stile of furni
ture which took place in a country town. among
the lookers on were a few Trish laborers, and
upon a trunk Long put up for sale, one of them
said to his neighbor :
. "Pat, I think you should buy that trunk."
"An' what should I do with it ?" replied
Pat, with some degree of astonishment.
'Tut your clothes in it," was his adviser's
reply.
Pat gazed upon him with a look of surprise,
And then with that laeoni , eloquence %Chieft is
peculiar to a son of the Enucral Isle, exclaimed
—"an' go naked."
."1 . 1;• A BODY KISS A BODY."—At the New
York School Board, on Wednesday, a commu
nication was received from a female teacher,
charging one of the Principals of the New York
Schools with kissing, the complainant. The
subject was treated with extreme delicacy, and
'referred to a committee of live. as a jury of
Matrons. for investigation. The committee
hriedy reported that they had carefully exam
ined the subject, devoting three dayx to it. The
report was,elotuled in obscurity. The discus
sion on ‘ the report gave rise to inuch tsprit
and the point of order was frequently called,
A SMAIIT Cm7N•ritr whiskered and
impudent. (Sandy, while present - at a weddina
ceremony in the city, observed a young„ come
try girl present, whom, from her downcost
eyes afei modest de mea nor, •he drat hiless
thought f.tir butt tor his shafts of wtt. "I)o
von know what I was thinking of all the time
- during the of remony ?"asked whiskers. "No,
sir ; what?" hy. I was hlassi nil toy stars
that I was tint the bridegroom." "And I sup
pose, the 'bride ‘vas. doing the Rlrbe thin,,"
rejoined the enuniry blossom. with a merry
twinkle in her eye; , "Ahem !" said the dan•
dy, as he retreated.
L 17 - "Mr. Snowball, I wants to-ask you one
question nn ails ebenin.'s
"Well, succeed den."
"Snose you go to de tabbern to get dinner.
and don't hab notlin on de table but a big beet.
What should you say ?"
gib dat up afore you ax it. What should
you sav ?"
•.Wity. under de circumstances ob de case I
should say da/ beers
THE RiISULT KtnsiNG
dear," s.iid an affectionate wife, '• what shall
we have for dinner to-day ?"
"One of your smiles," replied the husband :
"I can cline on that every day."
"But I can't," repli , d the wife.
"Then take this," kissing het, and he went,
to his tim;iite-N.
Ile- returned 10 dinner.
"This is an excellent steak," said he, "what
did you pay for it
"Why. what you gave me this morning, to
he sure," replied the wife.
"The deuce you did ►" exclaimed he: "then
yon shall have money next time you go to
market."
1117-r One of the townsmen meeting with one
of the strolling organ players. was inclined to
engage in conversation with him and asked
him :
"What part in the grand drntna of life do
you perform ?"
"1 mind my own business," was the brief
and pointed reply.
frrit is a Ningular (act th•it a woman can.
not look Iron, a precipice. (if any magnitude.
without lieenining instantly divzy. lint. what
is still more singular, the dizziness &Tarts
the very moment soiuttbm:y puts his arm
around her ‘vaist. to "keep her Loin falling."
Queer, isn't it ?
of n is time o aric moineete is 7 7 -
wore their brad-dreies so high that they.
were obliged, when they rode out. lo sit On the
floor of the vehicle Now they wear their
bonnets so far behind, that they are obliged to
engage an extra. co►ch to carry them
77 . .. Paddy, my jewel, why don't yon get
your ears cropped ? They are entirely tro
long for a ui "Awl yours Luo short for
an replied Pal.
bachelor advertised for a —helpmate :
one who woeld prove 'acompanion fro• his
heart. his htsul and his lot." A fair one te
:l--1,1;a/ very earuestly, ••liow big is
your• lot ?"
In the piesent day it can no longer he
aici that “ki , csing goes by favor." as it is a well
e , tablished fact. that every per-on may Lake a
buss ' t onne - flies) for'sixpvne.e.
"TRUTH IS MIGIITT, AND WILL PREVAIL."
•Arter studying all night:, I come to dis
concl tislnt 0, dat idout 1e Al manaek dar wood
be no week clays. or Sundays ; nu !muffing.
noon. no nite ; uu la ccn. no timid', no year ; and
a general bust up ob all creation. De only
good (tit I can see wood 'cur to de p 0 man,
wood be de lac, dat de landlord woodent know
when quarter day come wand, and you might
Jou! /JIM via oh a mud' or two ; but welt alms
nut de case wvl Anty Clawson ; she tiebber
lead a leaf ob de -Ilinanack. Dor twilit) else,
Ow reasons cob her own.) and yet site can tell
v idin one day when my week's bard am due
—she has two ways ob tellin it, : hustle, she
marks down de days mil a piece ob chalk. be•
hind de dour ; and, s econdly, she knows when
S 1 " - tI I guy
pur , ttit. or pet feet infAlli
i bth ty I€.ll. to zuctljot:ziti.--rii.,c.'i.
EIN
!MI
UN
"De Almanack."
The Knickerbocker says : distinguish
ed - Profesor - du MUs-G_EsAR'HAN ttut;'s knowl-
edge — is - exhaustless. Who have we in afl this
Great etropol is,not to say " ter rent keit' Wry ,"
except the Paorgssott, who could have written._
the subjoined ?-• We venture to say, "Narry
one." Observe, if you please, his style of argue
trthnt, in the matter and instances of inverted
-cause and effect"—that bugbear of science,- , -
These present no difficulties to one who never
fails to satisfy his own "cravins for siance."--
Listen to "De .81manack
"Some oh you may tink it am too much for
me wid de , rehometer at 900, but we shall see.
•"Some oh you too, I see smile. - and work up
your eyebrows, And make knowing , faces 'at
toe, as if de subjic was too uninteresting to be
worthy a place in de struggle oh my campus,
but all rich will-sing a different tune before
Thu dune, or else I'll gub up lecturing and turn
clam-peddler.
"In de lust place fustly : What am de•Al
tnanack ?
In de second place secondly : What does it
tell about ? -
••In de fird place (hilly : Who made it ?
"And de fort place fbrfly : What would we
do widout it
he gwane tell you, look out !--
When Adam Was placed in de gaideu ol)
Parerudice, in all de refulgent glory ob a he-
model artist, bow would he hah none it was
January Ist, year one, if it hadn't a been for
de. Altnanack ? Ile woodent a none wedder
t was July. or January fro►n de cli►nate in day
übly 'cot try. So you see de use ob de Al
nanaelt begin wid Adam, an it hab stock to
nankind eber sense. Again. flow cool you
tell' when it was Smithy morning, (recollect a
dirty shit t won't always do it. for in dose ineltin
times and heated terms, a shirt sites berry easy
in tree days,) widout de Almanack in New
York. Will eny external sights about de city
do it? Nu. Am nut de ruin-shops, de green
groceries, tie 'potecary shops, de root-beer
shops, de barber shops. and all Chatham street.
open jis de same dat day us eny odder S How,
ax you, cood you tell Sunday from eny odder
day if it wusert fOr de Almanack ? I defy you
to do it! Seine may say dey can tell it by de
ringing oh de church bells. t)h ! 'but, Inv
frens. how wood de church' bells know when
to ring if it wusent for de tex ? Da is a clincher!
tt [dont de Almanack de young, farmer
woodent know how to sow his to ild oats and
odder dogs, n r di ole farmer when to plant
corus, le& tt ood he know when to cut. de
grain, and pick de apples and plumlis.
,De
suit woodcut, know when to get up in de morn
ing, and wood be rising in" de middle oh de
cite ; nor the stars know when to strike a light
at de gate::: oh heaben. lie ole silver moon.
too, Which ha b set half de youngfolks as mad
as canine dogs in dog-days, Avoadent no more
know when to shine dan a pig knows why be
ant happy when. he am 'scratched wid a rake.
Folks woodcut know when to make fires in de.
parlor, nor to put on furs. De tides woodent
know when to rise or fill, and hence you
woodent know when logo switmoin: in short.,
we %modem know milli. Wotthl you know
how to take grease out oh silk—iron rust out
oh linen—how to make sour crab-apples into
swoeuneats I (Jo to de Almanack, dot will
tell you. Bab you got de toofake ? Look for
a cure in de back ob dat precious book. It
will tell you eberyting on earf, excepting how
to pay enormous rents, and stew clams proper
ly ; and 1 contend dat, it am, ilex to de scrip
tures. de most useful book de world ebber
seed, but like ebliry Ling else usefull, and good.
in tlis world, it am put to had use : elihry quack
doctor in New Yolk prints an Alnianuck, and
lusted oh de ole land-marks, dat was de guide
and safety el) du farmer, away in (ic,back yard
ob sibdisatioa, sich as: 'About dis time look
out foi squalls ;' 'Thunder and lightning ;'
-Snow drills ;' 'lligh wind:,' etc. ; you, will
nee—"rake pills N. 2 to•day,"Mixturco.
afore breakfast :' 'Bitters before dinner .Com
pound of Dr. TowSsANn three tithes a day ;'
and so on fruout de year—pills, plasters and
poultices de year shaking round. •
"Atli it any wonder dat my inr:ignashon
rises like de gebometer in August, when I see
. id' in t imr-tinttte-ob
shen loolosofeis so much time and tru hide to tix
up in a straw way I When de Almanack was
fits made, it had only ten monis ,in it, and ub
curse folks (lidera lit) morn half deir days den .
and dat wasent all, dey couldent lix de sun.
moon, stars and tides right ; dey wood rise ai
unseasonable hours kuse time was out oh jint
and not divided off in proper functions . ho one
day de foo:osolets a.. 4 mance men met (oh ! if I
had only hoed den to have a tiuger in dat pie
and got in my ieceipt fur making clatn-soup,)
and dey added two mold's, July, named arter
Julius p Cmsar. my name•sake, and August.
named arter Au(ms•risK. or Aon'snrs, 1 foigit
now which, but IL don't make no odds as it
am all for de hest. 1.
gnigle any toolley— RlFseinoney — to -
I.gingle I. owe itir ig)rd, if I 1 dun't, : hee
11.114:r4:11CC
"Blinder GREELY being abroad, somebody
else t, tll hall" to lead de singett. Brudder
Eimusrtm: will pass round de saNser."
Au ei4l/orttie, well-re,t,oned lecture !
1 - "Y'..Pap, has lir. Jones's eves got feet ?"
illy I,oy ?" 4.Beeaose I heal fl moth er
say to 31r. Doolittle that at a party the other
- evening,. Jwies':, eyes tutioweinier all over
the routn."
j--• The kssons of disappointotetst. hootilia
tioh and Wonder. ilopres•s more titan those of
a thousand roasters.—Foxdi. •
C.,_Ertry feeds upon-the living—after death
it ceases : then, every utan's well earned. hon
ors defend hurl against. caluniny.—Ocid.
INIMOIN/1
A rich joke occurred in our borough-a, night,
or twoago, which is too good to be lost. and'
we give it as it, was given to na. ' proud.'
nest member of the Carson League was in:the
_habit of visiting a hotel in the borough for the
'purpose of gaining. information by reading the
newspapers. lie would sit_ for hours and,
read all the advertisements 'in the Ledlgti.;
which attracted the attention of the. landlord,.
who, by the , way. was very fond of tun, and
he resolved to play a trick on the spy. 4e-,
cuttingly. he told a number of his friends,
and the plan was arranged. On a table ;in a
side tom was placeda pitcher. a tumbler and
a suspicious looking black bottle.: The, spy.
made his appearance and located as
,usual,,
when in - came a gentleihan and enquired of
the landlOrd whether= Neal Dow was in.-
-Yes." said the host, !lie is in hiS room ;walk
in;'-'at the same time showing him into the room
that contained the black bottle. ,The
ens but a short'one, and - the gentleman'
lett. In a few moments more, in cisme mother
enquiring for-Neal-Dow, and: the-satue .process
was gone through, and the thing was carried
on in the-same way until sonic eight or,' ten,
persons had calledori Neal Dow. This raised
the curiosity of our temperance-picot!, who
looked through a (-rack. in the door. and found,
out the whole secret. "Ha! ha : 41 says he,
now we have gdi them : they are selling ruin.,
awl most pity the penalty, and I can pay my'
rent for a year." = The thing was now-• all ar
ranged ;, the bottle on the
_table : containing a,
liquid resew' bling,gin was rMatryed; and R o o th.
er substituted in its place: The" friendk *et
•.Neal Dow" were assembled in another sown,
and every thing ready for , the grand !sequel.
The only occupants of the room were the land
lord and his friend, when the former requested
the latter to keep Watch, while he went,ont to,
get, sonic change. Here was a chanceto find
- out the contents of that bottle, rind4reeny re
solved to profit by it, and he volunteered his
services. The landlord' left,rwliew Spy
quietly sneaking into the room. ;helped:huh,-
self ,to a huge blizzard, and for fear- of being,
caught in the act, gozzled it - down gliO;
and.never tuck time to taste it' until-the'wliole'
was below his waistcoat ; but it was no stagier
down than there arose from ; his lungs.a fright-,
ful yell, and clapping his hands on his bread-,
basket, he commenced seti u aerobatic . freaki,,
such as groond'and lofty tumbling.lhat - avould
havedone credit to 3lyers and Madigan's cir
cus. The noise disturbed and alarmed ' the
whole household, ,and the inmates 'came pitch
ing into the romil more dead than-alive, every.
one wanting to :mow what, was the matter,-
but the pain was so great, that. the victim etaild,
not tell. At last Otie7etitteMllll preposed,the
idea orgivingiiiin stone Windy; but the
lord-refused, because he would be fined fifty
dollars.-and undergo ten days' imprisonment.
At length the pour fellow - was able to speak,
add pointing to the black bottle, `said he kid
taken a tumbler full of that liquor; and that it'
had been so lung since lie had tasted:anYthing •
of the kind, that it. almost set, him crazy. The
landlurd_now makes his appearance with a ball
of lamp wick, Mating at the same time,that bpt
had been thinking
,eaniphine c the . only
way to relieve him would be to siVallow the
ball, of wick and burn it' o'ut... - Thii - raised
shout from the bystanders, who were-glad tot
seethat the eaves dropper had. been ,caught,
and the gentleman retired in disgust, resolved:l
never to read the ',ed g er or handle' black but-.
ties any more.
The story was 80011 told. and.the- bottles ,
brought forth, when At was found that Neal!
Dow was water, and his friends, WllO
, C 11111. 4.
to see him, were bent on having a joke with'
the Cua sonite. !That man hereafter' will mar
candies, because camphine or fluid will turn
on his StutiMe,ll.-11arrisburg - Item.
An cx-conimission merchant, repentant for
pat transactions, says he once sent the follow
ing - "Teturtis'.' for a crop of corn 'consigned him
'• \lr. Brown —Sir : 1 ha•e according to your
instruction made a rOreed,sale of your corn, and
received, for it . - $475 ; 11A)
gain, whi ch I have commitsion—
.l4), - Bon 'age,
Cartage,
W lice la go,
Storage,
K'►teagc,
Salvage,
Leaving as you perceive, a bid
a lux! in your. iavoC, slflO 50
You can draw upon me for that Sum. Trust
ing you will honor mu with still further euu•
signinents,
I remain, sir, yours sincerely.
SAM 'SWINTON."
By the next mnil Mr. Blown tle.ut Lack-the
account with these words at the bottom :
Yuit infernal villain! put. in ate - a/age, and
keep the whole of ia."
ExwAsii.—On the occasion of Queen
Victoria's visit to Paris, many of the shop
keepers, who profess to speak English,.under
took to show their pleasure, at seeing the
queen, tit her native tongue. But the greeting
Was couched in the words "Willcotne, Wit
"Velkome," etc. Punch says. it
proved a difficult word for them to spell right
ly, but. they managed to do it with a due stg
oificalice in the bon accord they gave to Lord
Mayor Moon ; for, over his hottl, h1#74.1 , 1 in oil
latups the leU.et rs ' Veatcome :"
'l'mot*•4 Tttwit-m-St-znqmw--0-sTomict .
--Make you a coat. sir 4 Oti; - yes, sir, with
the greatest pleasure. There, just stand in
that position please, and look right upon that
sign while I take your measure." Sign reads
•.Teruis Cash."
black servant being examined in the
church catechism by the minister of the p a rish,
w•as asked, •• What are you made of e- Cato
an.we►ed, "Or tined, m:►asa.'' On being told
lie should have said dust, be replied, -No tuas
sa, it nu do—nu stick togedder."
A WriNDF.II.I.I;I, WOMAN.-A female school
teacher in her advertisement stated that she
was "complete mistress of her_,own tongue."
•'ll'Lliat".s the case.'' said a caustic old bachelor,
"Mle can't ask too much for her services."
niEs Yon. L FIG IS i.Atons. --There is.Otte very
good f* C aSUII why hohes• should he eligible for
-members of Congress. They would afford
s uch abundant fattliille?, for pairing off,
n- Te*AtlleriCil Came out tritil honor at the
P.trls Her cute, iuk.crutiolir4 cArried
Ltat, dJi .
The Fate. of a. Spy.
The Best Thing Ont.
The Adams County Teaghers'. -
met in the Methodist 'Episcopal Church init.-et
tysburg, on Tuesday; the ,23 2 .0r - Pctober, at 10
o'clock,,, A., S. , anti was - ,opened—with, vary
J. C. IL Posit—l)„,
Con Sti ri ate de at; presidiak. 'P6;441011,
rani; wa.4'4Lppoint'd 'Secretary phi teirlpoie;ll6l'
Secretary: being 'abli9lt.' report petite t.llO
maid ve Ll,errituittee W. 0.3 rprid Jiy -- ,the.Serrekary t „
after which the Constitution was read„and#9,.,
006rtitlky given,ter persons' tlestriii .1
nect theinaelves with OW Aasottiatiohle.`
at which time eleven persons signed their.
.
' The Re:po'rt ht' the Coiniuittee - empubte'atibh
'was' read , itad' the: COjiiinitteojiliKehnrgi4l::
Committee was ~ then t appointed, consisting-or 4 .
F.-A. MVermad,Atbett Aorrolicl
ehrMle, to e.alt the_Friiitersasid . ,46ert4iti
the - indebtedlieSs — or Ake star'
•
,The Report of the -Treasuretywavread-:ana.-.-.
received. ; • ,‘ .1..
-13 y order of the E*iieutiye Cntarrettee,4ll.l
subject of Orthography theiaaheinit
discussed by Ito belt tyttle;:foltOided4ls4o.;:i'••
IL Anstip, F.. A. -Art:term:id, 'David Curren,
S. It' Bekeirrede;lllsWM:','Oi. , Theittiaint Miss
tteind*.Fickesy-'. am)
. 6therily-•OriArtititiort
Mr. I.yttle, adjourned to meet at 4 f ,e,',elopyy : re, l -2,
2 o'clock, P. M.—Minutes•-;retuf gild-appro
ved. Thatommittoe:iiii-Viinting 4porWdrtlie -
indebtedne4. 1 4 4 AO.; 4 1! )1 :09.”90, 0 f*** , ‘
A ustin„ the; ,Treasurer Was iriYirtlcto.l jp ! pAg. ; • ;
the
• lrbc subject.6r , ftetta ing:-Wal 'thee /..t 10044 Alti`;
And di4cussed hyal I the, ahavennentiotied ,
sous;tsnd others, after which. the ~sehjee,4lo.l"tAr. . ..,
diseuseed!.., .P.o tßotitnx c.
meet at - o'eleelit'eti
%Vednesday morning.
lAr,frmxk . sa',4v,,9l,e'ehek ~l,itiititcs 'read
a n t
approved, ' The . siihjeet:i NottitiM
, tion,' Pia peril ; Prat tientr,4e4 - *ire 'atgettitOiir
:the l'ettebartr•generallrtiikingipstt itu.therd„"v:4o.
,eussiett.,,4kt 7 I I se"plee.4.;llta: , ALAPtimkl 4 .l4,V#Li,
.addreas:wlts„fleliir:9od by ,
'tershtirg,`in which he itpoke ortli«i aegrattaiiiilt
of intinklatt Without titt 'Mhication,
sed the Veaehers-particularly Aiwthal
of elevating the, I„ ) rotessioa of ~the e Te!!e,llerem,
'lle atso adverted ~ t o the results : ,
,springpv;. from ,
a proper dischtirke of ilk, triitiot of the -
er•toWittiiiiiii: pupil,. 'giving- a..Pariph-itt iexiteri•4s
once in; the art otteerhing..atetrattttatiagtthe: - . , ,
Teach ertu- AlisAltarget his tr.faithfally, o in,,ttet,
ting scholar); An c.xatriple, reg,st e rd to the
d .ite to' On •
motion ;telt? A. , '4.iyttle. , -the -Co6tintietil
jnarned to,meet at half past tone,
o'closek, - P. .M. 7 , t7 .tipetted, , with, fray.pri.ll,,
hro,i4ilo:x.. The, minutes of ferettoun
session i.etid and adopted. A ,
'was, tett - dared Dr,,3lfirssl4a .for his.Ahle,ml,tireits,
and a eommittea 'appointed
,to. Wait en , the
1)ottor . and 'tie - etiii.t 'eoi;) , for
School -tt.;tautuittee; - Gv I Attlititi;
F. : A,. ...41',De J. .:4,!:t." !ken The-
Convpntion then proccet,l9o, to t,hp or
otliel'ir; and DAY to Wiia.s.""F.:SC):,.WAs eleetea::
President, 1?. A. M'llkatmAD, % tee' Preildetit,' - ' .
and Win Coatti::".'S,;;BOren,kry.l Au.. Exec*
ti Ve'Co in En i tte.e . o fir was 14;0 'elm;
- El. Austin, A.'"Lyttle,'
berm ad,--. IL , - M'Creary,
I, l te,•fliocitssion en itroportion,: - ; ,wati- v,00A.P4.44 ,
it which 414•145Ps
- AlMitie ti. - Ceiri4.tris; to, adjourn
in the evening to meet tuunth'of
aryl wits ttvet i rttiOfilixitypto oflo,l 4 ti - efiqvfl34ol
`fit - ketiiii*, Cult
l'huiAlty,`wits Carried. The sithji!efi t .VlA*o- ,,
graphy was . tl le n tat WI I. up and briotlx4ineasaed,--;
.0a m I
otion of L, A..,1.,ytt1e„ rr 3 lw.
at; 91. (i'elpe)i ! A. ;11".", on Ili tirtalAy, • •
Tilt!itr-iii * ilt; 9,f iei4Sak. ° :'—opetie4 'Witt prayer'
r.' Mitt iitelt tea - 4;414i' tPitikwerL- '
motion, was angle
man explain his'mautter of tl,o4lM)g,,,:li t e.atliag.. i . :
which was. ',o,dottit.d. ~,,-,,T—he..,atit)fi'et was, (alien
ap,and t , explained' biliKr4.4)4,AtfogitatiPg 'zt,l4o.t
-thogrr4Pll.Y,t 4 . 14 qxPll44Klg'`Ji.t)ANAtrtF9X 4Y-91 14 , 1 5,
of eons° aaniri and Vowe S ant
. mand'
..J
12 00
12 50
90 00
3U 00
45 DO
.
Elmmtion •
Tbo, , subjeet of School Dhleipline vliAthen4s
ken up and di 3 eastiedtVl.4"risrfta!lnh
Mid others. of
Mistiii - nloarned meetAitioc*. • ;
2 o'cloe , N. M.--Minutes .-road and. appro•
veil.. - A verSr interefing, ,ddiv,ss, lle. - ST4if,
of' Citshtmirt; -
the- `iiiiitittg , , iielicoutiotiso.'properly 4
ventilated :by, the akinti:mitur, , . of : ,p.ure
breathe, of building
‘ B,eligiol honaea in healthy
The - subjelet o' School Discipline •flffiff
resumed, in whlehdiA,euxiion M-s
Nl'l)erm3d; Li I gteni; and g,ayc. , their
viewg. '" - '
$3 L 4 50
kinotiort , ty, Davkl Currens ,to adjourn-at,
4 o'Oock wa,e unanimously carried.
A. In eionfo: titi . Tr.3,t4nrer to pay the pup,
of $:; 5n to the se xton was also earri.et: . 4;
A.. vote of thanks was, tendered, to , Dr. Stern
fur his eloquent.uddress. 4 'The Exceniii.e
niittee then proposed the following rtisOfntioii4
which weri , 84/Opted : -
ItiFsolved, That the thanks of this assOeia
tion be tendered to the Trustees of the Metho
dist Episcopal Church for their kindness in
granting 'the' use adze Church th the . Assoeia.-
,
•
Lion int the present meeting.
Iles()!yeti, That the best - interests of this As- 4.
social ioti will be promoted by Teachers, vitac
any taking part in the discussions. •
take 3 more active part in our :Association by
attending its El gulag meetings.
Resolved, That Female Teachers should re
ceive the'same compensation as Xile'reaklera
tier pert . orniing the satne labor. '
Resolved, Mat this 'Association adiotirn'tr
meet (witho4 any public notice) On the first
Thursday oll'ebritary next.
DA vi - D CURREN'S,' She c:• •
r7A young lady committed suicide - . lately.
because her 'oyez kissied her on the clunk in
stead of the lips. A SXti 'wa ming !
a7 - The att.el .I.putpe. always and, evert._
where Imptanr,
L ltave Ettit - back W
plunty of money, of coarse.
r,Pl; O 4l_ has bett,n—fonint- in -Maine.
_At
Shartpii Brictg,'-e; alcugget worth $55/ hail ac
tually bten v. 012114.0
there in twit water-fm-theliatarsiiiid-":
dy inquired ti - g,entlettuttt of his Ir k ah girl, as
bhe came up Crone - t.be: ceitiai. 115
the hOtt(nli, sir. but. there's , utahe - lit , the Lupo"—
biut/ Biddy.
. _
IiOLL-4.IiWA,=TEAIt.
• -t 00?imt;:,:;_t;A'Pu%
Teachers' 44300iattiPnr,
I=ll
NO. 4.
MBE
WM/