The Republican compiler. (Gettysburg [Pa.]) 1818-1857, September 10, 1855, Image 1

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    BY HENRY J. STATILE.
37TH YEAR.
TERMS OF : : #i, • :
13:7The Republican- Compiler is published
tvcry Monday morning, by HNNRY STABLE,
$1,15 per annum if paid in advance-82,00
Or annum if not paid in advance. No sub
scription discontinued, unless at the option of
the publisher. until all arrearagea are piid.
ADVXMISSICINTS inserted at the usual rates.
Jos WOBK. done, neatly ; cheaply, and with
dispatlh.
(a - " Office on South Baltimore street, direct
ly opposite Wampler's Tinning . Establishment,
one and a half squares from the Court House.
12oli#ical.
Know-Nothing Resolves.
The Pittsburgh Gazelle, the venerable orga n
of Allegheny county, anti -Masotti y, W piggery,
Free-Soilism, &c., gives the following as the
substance of the resolutions of the Know-No
things of that county. What is true of the
conspirators in Allegheny is equally true of
them in every other county in the State—in
deed, wherever the dark-lantern putty may
be found. Office— OFFICE—OFFICE, is their
object—and their inordinate desire to obtain
the spoils .is the principal chain that holds
them together :—Pairiot.
"Resolved, That we must carry this county
—at some rate.
'•Resolved. That we are not able to do it
without. help from outsiders.
' , Reßaked, That the county offices are worth
something, and we want them—we must have
them.
'4/Mw/tied, That in order to carry these of
fices, or make a respechtble show in tbe coun
ty, the organs must play fair Free• Soil and
Temperance tunes from this forward.
*.Regolaert, That - plantations -and - 'Diggers'
are well enough, but if.we can't get thew, we
will rant on the Free-Soil question, and take
the county offices—if we can.
“Rtstilved, That we must have office--that
is what we got up the party for.”
K. N. Explosion.
Tlie delegates from the Know-Nothing lodges
in Diiiphin county met in Harrisburg, on last
Thursday, the votes for the various candidates
were counted, and the ticket announced. But
the means resorted to for the purpose of effec
ting the nomination of some of the aspirants
for office, had been so rascally, that a regular
stampede was the result. The following pro
test was prepared and signed by ten of the
delegates.
WHEREAS. This committee at its session on
the third of August, decided that no voting
should be done by party. or enclosing the Gal
lot, in the- selection of candidates.
Therefore the undersigned do solemnly pro
test against the action of the districts, thus
voting, as illegal and not binding on the mem
bers of the organizay i n: and declare them
selves free and indepe dent to act as they
please in the coming campaign, and zequest
that, this protest be entered on the minutes of
this convention.
Such waS the dissatisfaction - among the bre
thren ofethe order, that the successful were
compelled to abandon their-wish to-hold a rati
ficatiatimeeting in the evenin n•• • itn
ber - orthe Y members avowed, publicly, their
determination to withdraw from the order.
They acknowledged that they had been de
ceived, and resolved, never again, to be found
acting in such company. That the Cayennes
of Dauphin county are completely disorganiz
ed, there can be no question. This was their
first, and we predict will be their last conven
tion in the county. Sic transit gloria Sarni.—
[Harrisburg Patriot.
11 - The career of the Know-Notblngs, it is
not difficult to foresee, 3S destined to be as
shot-Cos it is shameful. Having not the slight
est foundation in principle,—held 'together by
no more reliable tie than "the cohesive power
of public plunder," they can only live by "vic
tories," and must die with the fir3t blow of de
feat. Like other predatory bands, they will
cease to exist, in an organized body, the mo
ment the object of the association fails by a
failure of spoils. The several stages in the
decay of the "American" - party will be found
in the end to compare with the grammatical
degrees of comparison, thus :—Positive, know
nothing ; comparative, get nothing ; superla
tive, be nothing.- Reading Gazelle.
Tits. Goon THE K. N's. HAVE Down.—The
Milledgeville, (Ga.) Union thanks the Know-
Nothings for one thing :
..They have done great harm. They have
sown seeds which we fear will bring ruin on
the Land, notwithstanding their complete over
throw in the country. But one good result
has followed this organization. They have
!miffed the Democratic party of its corrupting
elements. Most of the office seekers. from the
highest to the lowest, from the candidate for
Gioveiaor to the candidate for Constable, flock
cl to the standard of Know-Nothingism, when
it was thought to be invincible. This bad influ
ence has been , carried away from the Democra
tic party. Never was the Democratic party so
pure as at this moment. For the agency the
Know-Nothings have had in bringing about
this 'good time,' we thank them. For all else,
we condemn them."
A BOSTON "FREE{ AND EASY."-A corres
pondent of a religious paper says that at Theo
dote Parker's church "not a few had secular
newspapers, which they sat and read till the
services commenced. There were bows of
recognition across the hall. and everybody
seemed quite at ease. -- - Ihe—sexton set a vase
• - -.-
fT7Prentice says : —Three years ago, a man soon to be held in Camden. N. J., for the pur
in Mississippi cheated us out oftwentv dollars, 1 pose of taking measures to the securing
and n o w his son cheats us out of about the 1 a fortune of some :±.2.500.0UU, for which heirs
saint ; rum. Th u y ou n g man',, propcnbity to i are wanted. If all the relatives ofJohn Smith
cia :it k probably the DIS;V thing that jig ever I attend. Camden will be overrun u ith them,
-:,,1t /, , ,n, , , , . g/ ;13 . " like I ' VI , l of u;d wa. with locusts.
c.,
L omit 31 ansitorr----Fruotr4 rolitini, citgrirdinrr, itrraturr, ilrtn anti .friturs, dig 3i! rkrts, Oruro! Pumtstir auk Arrign utrlligrttrP,2turrtising, .autustunot,
coife poetri).
• From the 'Plymouth Memorial.
TRE LITTLE FROCK AND SHOES.
BY BEN/. B. MITCLIELL.
A-little frcek, bat slightly worn,-
Of !due and white delain,
With edging round the neck and slvercs,
Lay folded nest and plain;
Resides a little pair of shoes
With here and there a Claw,
Lav" - halt concealed avong the Ibivn:s .
in ulothees bureau draw:
Summer hrl erased sway from es , lit
. With ill her sweetest ties,
The birds had left their -Summer
Fir. more congenial shies;
The twilight breezes sweetly play .1
Among the dews of even— -
Al r vel left his home on high.
To gather flowers for . heaven !
The angel near and nearer came,
Where sister sick did /to;
Then gently fann'd her faded cheek,
And pointed t r the sky!
The morning ,hone upon the bed;
The Autumn. wind blew free,
The rngel moved its silvery a ings,
And whisper'd "come with tne !"
We gather'd round her dying'b:d,
With he.irts to weep Ald prat--
And many Were the team we shed
When sister trout away!
"No hitter tears had she to weep,"
No sin t) be for-it•en.
But closed her little eyes in sleep,
To (4,112 them• in heaven
We laid her in the earth's green breast,
Down by the village green,
Where gently weeps the dewy glass,
And Summer dowers are seen;
And often when dear mother goes
To get her tbir , ,s to use,
I see her drop a silent tear
On sister's frock sod shoes. -
Select Illisallann.
The Old Fashioned Mother.
Ah ! how
.much meaning- is - ciitript;sed in
that simple espt pion, :lie old fashioned molls ,
er.• It carries our thoughts.back to those wo
men, whose home-influence was pure and ele
vating who taught theirdaughters to render
themselves blessings to sot;vty by their good
ness, their diligence, their useful knowledge.
We think of the lofty heroism, the brave en
durance, the thousand virtues they inculcated:
and sigh at the contrast between the past and
the present. How few modern mothers under•
stand or perform their duty in- training their
children. A smattering of this, that . and the
other is considered 'quite sufficient education,
and to show off to advantage is made the great
business of life. No wonder there are so many
desolate firesides, so many unhappy wives,\so
many drinking, gambling husbands.
Yon Forgot Me !
A good joke is-told- at the expense,of one of
our church-going citizens, who is the father of
an interesting family numbering four-or five
children, the youngest of whom has seen some
three summers. the pet Tkrthe household, and
unanimously voted the drollest little mischief
alive.
On — Saturday night he had been bribed to
keep peace and . retire to bed an hour earlier
than usual, with the promise that on the mon.
row he might go - with the family to church.
On Sunday morning it was found inconvenient
to put the youngiter through the regular course
of washing and dressing' necessary for his
proper appearance at the sanctuary, and the
family slipped off without him. They had
not, however, more - --than become cotnfortably
seared - in the pew, when in walked the young.
er me • on but a mght-wrapper and
a cicith cap.
me'" said he, in a tone loud
enough to be heard all over the church.
The feelings of the parents can be more ea
sily imagined than described.
7' l l‘here is a fine sketch of the life of Ax
intim JACKSON, in the January number of
Harper's magte.ne. Among other anecdotes
is the following. which we do not remember to
have met with before : While he was connect
ed with the army, an officer complained to
him that some of the soldiers were making a
-great—noise-irr-the-tert-G---"What-are-they-do
ing 1" asked the General. "They are praying
now, but they have been singing," was the
reply. "And is TTIAT 3 clime I" asked JACK..
SON, with emphasis. "The articles of war," the
officer said, "ordered Punishment for.any un
usual noise." "God forbid 1" replied JACK
SON, with much feeling, "that praying should
be an unusual noise in any camp," and ad
vised the officer to join them.
THE VALUE OF THE UNION.-Mr. Benton con
cludes one of the chapters of the forthcoming
second volume of his Thirty Years View on the
causes of the present discontent in the South
with the following remarks :
•'Separation is no remedy for these evils, but
the parent of far
, greater than just discontent
or restless ;unbitten would fly from. To the
South the Union is a political blessing ; to the
North it is both a political, And, a pecuniary
blessing ; to both it should be a social blessing.
Both sections should cherish it, and the North
most. The story of the boy that killed the
goose that laid the golden egg every day, that
he might get all the eggs at once, was a fable:
but the Norther n man who could promote sep
aration by any course of wrong to the South,
would convert that fable into history—his own
history—and commit a folly, in a mere profit
and loss point of-view, of which there is no pre
cedent except in fable."
ANTIDOTE TO HIDROPUODIA.—Dr.'Youatt, of
England, in cases of persons bit by mad dogs.
has healed more than four hundred cases by
the use of muriate of silver, and not one had
any symptoms of hydrophobia. A - writer in
the New York 7 riburie states that lobelia and
steam have cured several cases of hydrophobia.
AN OVFIIBFAIIIICI3 Tape.—Mr. Joel Lyons,
of Greenfield, 3iass., has h pear-tree which,
-for-two -y ears_pa.st,itas_borne_two emps_ollpears,
and this year it has had two crops of pears on
it, and has now blosso®e•l for a third crop.
A genius at the south has had his sleep
ing chamber painted with iceberg scenes. The
water in the pitcher froze the first night, and
he was obliged to kindle a fire the second.
Nothing like cooling scenes. Precisely.
THE SMITH FA SI 11.Y.-1L is rumored that a
convention of the relatives o
GETTYSBURG, PA.: MONDAY, SEPT. 40, 1555.
The Newfoundland Dog's Vengeance.
-The American brig Cecilia, Captain Sy mmes,
on one of her- voysges, had on board a beauti
ful specimen of the Newfoundland breed. named
Napoleon, and his magnificent size and prover
tionm,_his intelligent head. broad white chest,
white feet and white tipped tail; the rest of his
glossy body being black, - made him as beau
tiful as his peerless nimesa - ke, who, no doubt,
would have been proud to possess him. -
Tie was owned by a 'seamen named Lancas
ter, who was naturally enough extremely fond
of him.
CaptainSymmen, however, was not partial
to animals of any kind, and had an unaccount
able and especial .repugnance to dogs. so much
so indeed, as if all his ancestors had died of
hydrophobia, and he dreaded to be bitten like
his unfortunate predecessors.
This dislike he one day deielopti in the
most shocking manner, for as Napoleon had
se.. • al times entered his room and by wagging
hi' great banner of a tail, knocked paper and
ink off his desk, on the next occasion the Cap.
min seized a knife, and cut ,half of the poor an
imal's tail off
The dog's yell brought his master .to the
spot, and seeing. the calamity; and the author
of it, without a inomeneohesitation he filled
Captain Symmes to the cabin' tkpr with a
sledge hammer blow, which had it hit the tem
ple, would forever prevented the captain from
cutting off any more dog's tails.
The result was that Lancaster was put in
irons. from which, however, he was soon re
leased. Captain Symms partly repented his
cruel deed, on learning that Napoleon had
once saved the owner's life.
The white shark, as all my nautical friends
are aware, is one uf the very largest of sharks.
It averages over twenty, and have seen one
twenty-seven and a half feet in length. It is
generali t y considered to be the fiercest and
most formidable of all_sharks.
But a few• days elapsed aver the catastrophe
of poor Napoleon ere he became the hero a
most thrilling ticcurrence; the very thought of
which has often thrilled me with : - torror. . Du
ring the interval the noble beast was not at
all backward in exhibiting his wrath at the
captain by low growls when he approached.
In vain did his toaster, fearful for the itfe of
his dog, essay to check these signs of his anger.
Captain Symmes. however. made all the al
loa•nnce he should, and offered no further harm
to him.
One morning as the captain was standing
on the bowsprit, he lost his footing and fell
overboard, the Cecilia rtlen running about ten
knots.
"flan overboard ! Captain
. .Syntme% - ovei
board !" was the cry, ono
- all rushed to get
out the boat as they saw the syrinnlier strik
ing out for the brig, which was rounded to ;
and es they felt especially apprehensive on
account of the white sharks in those waters,
they regarded his situation with the most
painful solicitude.
By the time -the_ boat touched the water
their worst fears were realized,' for at some dis
tance beyond the swimmer, they beheld ad
vancing upon him the fish most dreaded in
those waters.
"Hurry. hurry! men, or we shall be ton
late," exclaimed the mate. '•What's that?"
The plash which caused this inquiry was
occasioned by the plunge of Napolean into the
sea. the noble animal having been watching
the cause of the, tutnult from the bows of the
ve , isel. :Ile had noticed the captain's fall and
the shout,,and_lo3. a few moments dve tut:
his feelings in deep growls, as if conscious of
the peril of his late enemy and gratified at it.
His growls,, however, were soon changed
into those whines of . sympathy which so ofttin
show the attachment, of dog to man, when the
latter is in danger. At last he plunged in,
and rapidly making his way to the now nearly
exhausted captain, who, awnre of his double
danger, and being but a pa.isable swimmer,
made fainter and fainter strokes, while his ad
versary closed rapidly upon him.
"Pull, boys, for dear life !" was the shoutof
the mate as the boat now followed the dog:
bim gallantly t,.)
whose huge limbs prope
the scene of danger.
Slowly the fatigued swimmer tnade his way,
while ever and anon his head sank in the
waves, and behind him the back of the vora
cious anittit feat ful progress he was
making, while -Lancasterl in the bow of the
boat, stood with a knife in hfzi upraised hand,
watching alternately the captain and his pur
suer, and the faithful animal who bad saved
his own life.
"Great God ! what a swimmer !" exclaimed
the - mer. who marked the speed of the splen
did animal. "The shark will have one or both
if we don't do our best."
The scene was of short duration. Ere the
boat could overtake the dog. the enormous
shark at rived within three oar's length of the
captain and suddenly turned over on his back.
preparatory to darting on the sinking man,
and receiving him in his vast jaws, which now
displayed. their tows of long triangular teeth.
The wild shriek of the captain announced
that the crisis had come. But Nnpoleun. who
seemed to be inspired with increased strength.
had also strived, and with a fierce howl leaped
upon the gleaming belly of the shark, and
buried his teeth in the monster's flesh, while
the boat swittly neared them.
"Saved ! if we're half as smart as that dog
is !"cried the mate, as all saw the voracious
monster shudder on the sea, and smarting with
pain, turn over again, the dog retaining his
hold and becoming submerged in the water.
At this juncture the boat arrived, and Lan
caster, with his knife in his teeth, plunged into
the water, where - the captain had also sunk
from view.
But a few moments elapsed ere the dog rose
to the surface, and soon after, Lancaster, with
the insensible form of the captain.
"Pull them in and give me an oar!" cried
he — m ate - , -- " for — that -- fel to w — is 'preps' ing fur
another launch."
His orders were obeyed, and the second on
set of the marine ruonhter was followed by the
mate's splashing water in his eyes. as he came
again, and but a few seconds tooiate to snap
off the captain's legs, while - his body was
drawn into the boat.
Foiled, a second time, the shark passed the
boat, plunged and was seen no more, but left
=1
a trac - o • 00, on sur ace o t e wa er, a
token of the severity of his wounds from Na
poleon.
The boat was pulled towards the brt. and
not many hours i _elapscd. before the captain
crag on deck again. feef,le from his etforN, but
aLie to appre.late the St:l VICVS vt our canine
"TRUTH' Is MIGHTY, AND WILL PREVAIL."
BY OLD GRAY.
hero, and most bitterly to lament his own
cruel act which had mutilated him forever.
"1 would give my right arm !" he erlaimed,
as be patted the Nevifouniland who stood by 1
his side, "if I could" Only repair the injury
have done to that splendid fellow. Lancaster,
you are now fully avenged, and so is he. and
a most Christian vengeance it is, though it
will be a source of grief to me as long as I
Save the Man with the Red Hair.
It requires great coolness and experience to
steer a course down the rapids of the Saut St.
Meuie and a short time before our to rival two
Americans' had ventured to descend them
without a boatman, and were consequently
upset. As the story was reported to us, one
of them owed his salvation to a singular coin
.cidence. As the accident took place imme
diately opposite * the town, man' of the inhabi
tants were attracted to the hams of the river to
watTh the sttuggles of the unfortunate- men,
thinking any attempt to rescue would be hope
less. Suddenly, however, a , person appeared
rushing-toward - the group, frantic with excite;
ruent- ..Save the man with the red hair!" he
vehemently shouted, and the exertions which
were made in consequence of his earnest ap
peals proved successful. and the red haired in
dividual in nn exhausted condition was safuly
landed. nits me eighteen dollars," said
his rescuer. drawing a long hresth and looliing
approvingly- upon his assistants. The red
hatred man's friend had not a creditor at the
Sant, and in default of a competing claim. was,
allowed to pay his debt to nature. ...And I'll
tell you what it is, stranger," said the narrator
Of the foregoing incident, complacently draw
ing a moral thereirotn--..a Insult never know
how Decessaly he if{ to society, if hedonl
make his life valuable to h;s ft:ends is' well lIS
to biteself.'*—Blacktonoti.-
The Time to Choose:
Mrs. Swisshelm says the best time to choose
a wife is early-in the morning. -If a-young la
dy is at all inclined to sulks and slatternnees, it
is just before breakfast. As a geneial thing
woman don't get on her temper, till ten, A.
Men never look slovenly before breakfast--
no indeed ! Never run round restless, in their
stocking feet, with dressing gown inside Out
soiled handkerchief hangins by 'one corner out
cif his pocket ;, minus dickey ; minus neck-tie:
pantaloon straps flying at 'their heels ;
penders streaming from their waistband: chin
shaved on one side, lathered on the other ; last
night's coat and pants on the floor just where
they hopped out of them ; foe snarled- up in
forty wrinkles, because the tire wont
the
and bt . cause it snows ; and is cause the (Alice
boy hasn't been for the keys ; -and hecanse the
newspaper hasn't come ; and I..catise they
smoked too many cigars by one dozen, the
might before ; and because there's an i onielet in
stead of it chick'diaor breakfast: and because
they are out of shaving 864 And out,of cigars
and credit ; and can't any how “get•their tem
pers on;" tilt they get some money - and a. mint
ulep!
The Loafer's Address to Mosquito.
You wiked blud sucker, why &mit
You urp yore livin sum wa beside __
Litiirdown on people and insurten yure -
Long bil to O. bind. litin on
Foakses noses. and when .they git mad an
Begin to slap, leave? 'hint you got no feelinks?
Grate seezer ! how yule pit flocked if yu was
As larg as sum to leged blvd suckers as is
Round hear, wot wares kloas. Why doant yu
Lite doun sly. as tha do, and blede em' tour
or, it, wi hotahotterin_allthe whylu 1
Yure a kanable ! yu do_a big biznis on a •
- Stnaivl skail, yu sack more bind owt of a
Feller than a elefant can, an yore smeller
flint haff as long. .Yu waik up rooks
When tha ar asleepin, an tha swair
Vengens. How du yu work it to keep
Yore bil so sharp without grindin ? Wbi
lloant you pek wuruts ouLov treats,
& ete insex, yu long leged cuss!
What tewn is it yu sy ng so much.
Goin rgw•nd with vure fethirs short oph,
,S akin whootn yu ma devower 1 Yu
- ST be ni, burd from yore
;seam too be a kon ten tIL. alit'
Sy ngin, and syng loudts when yure
Liursgryist. r. shad thynck yudc want on
Boots or panty Letts, to keep yure -long
Legs from hen' koald thys wether ;
inseck, yore uselis yu kant chary, butt
Yure sum on suckin, kaus yu never
Git weaned. Inseck, a dew.
112.. My lad," said a traveler to a little fel
low whom he•met clothed in pants and a small
ket. but without a very necessary article of
appa - ral. "my lad, where-is your shirt ?"
"Mammy's washing it." •
"Have you no other ?"
"No other!" -exclaimed the urchin in su
p ise, "would you want a boy to have a thou
sand shirts !"
Mugging, having treated her board—
ers for thirteen successive days to fried liver.
a committee of seven were .selected to present
the good lady with a pine pitcher. emblazoned
with a coal of yellow paint. Very eloquent
speeches were made. It was an affecting oc
casion.
(17A gentleman said he should like to see a
boat full of girls set adrition the ocean, just to
see which way they would steer. f. -Oki," re
plied a lady present, "that's very easily an
swered. They would steer for the Isle of
Nan, to be sure."
ADDING INSULT TO INJURY.-"DOCI3 the razor
take hold well "I" Inquired a darkey who was
shaving a gentleman from the country a few
evenings since. "Yes,", replied the customer,
with tears in his eyes, '•it. takes hold first-rate,
but it don't let go worth a cent."
o:7"‘E')nny, what did you find in your
stocking this morning 3" inquired' a father of
his wee boy, one t;brismas day. '‘A
bole," replied the young hopeful.
G:7"Shall I cut this loin of mutton saddle.
wise ?" said , a gentleman carving. "No," said
his friends, •cut it bridle-wise, for then we all
may chance to get a bit in our mouths."
A PRI' DPNT RECOIf MENDATION:—The Chero
kee Piesbytery O. S.) have adopted resolu
tions recommending to the churches in its con-
necuon to insure tie Ives o t e ministers, as
the most convenient method of making provis
ion' for their families after their decease.
1 .77 - Mrs. Snizzle, my pa wants to know if he
mayn't lend hitn , :elf to your axe a little while.
lie Lad allera rather lend than borrer.
Well Said.
The following anecdote,. in reference to the
reception given ,by a sensible lady. residing
not many miles from this place. to her pastor,
who attempted to take advantage of an invi
tation to the hospitalities of her house, to press
upon her husband the many beauties of Know-
Nothingism, was related to us by her husband,
and is undoubtedly' correct. ,
The very Reverend political gentleman, in
the course of conve4pon, drew from his
pocket a copy of the ilrcalled "Basis of prin
ciple; of the American Party,",and commenced
reading and commenting upon them. After
talking some time, the lady of
_the house spoke
up
“Well.lrother you don't belong
to these Know-Nothings, do you 7”
This question, so Patty put. slightly discern
fited the parboil, but in a moment he replied :
"Why, sister, I must confess that I.do con
tinier myself a metnber of the great, American
party."
To which she quickly and with tonne Spirit
rejoined :
"Sir,' 1 I could not be V an ,Anietican by
do y lig hi. I wouldn't bowl Atnetiean at, ,
The Know-Nothing brother has never ,since
said 'a word about-politics itir her house. and
we lather think, never will.—Parkarafrorgt
News. ,
No DlFrltiete.NCN tN UKAVEN.—Rer,. Ross, in
a sertnon in the Winebrennetisn Chinch, on
Sunday night; said t bet nil titan of every clime;
nation end country, were acceptable to God,
anti in heaven the people if every nation...were
pikers equality I Yet that Church. bean pas.
tor who sits hintself up to know more of tit°
worthiness of men, then the master. 'he pre-'
tends: to follow t. a paStiii Who is a mem ter jot
the order of Know .Nothings, who
,prosgibt).
men on aecount of their foreign With, and say
all own may tie equal in lititven, but swear by
the Star-spangled Banner. they 4huse't be here!
—7fVgyne
AN f NOM' woo Dsv Sultan's
ite dwarf, a inert bent 46 years old. and 3 feet
high. a few years ago,, teak a notion to marry,
and applied to the Sultan for b wife. The Std►
tan gave him permission-to go into his harem;
and take the, one teAom be estdif kits„ Thit ,
dwarf, like all other men, was .ambitious
,to
have a long wife. While the Sultan's Dv°. htm: ,
died-women. who knew the terme aceordingto
which the dwarf was permitted to eboosu, were
laughing at the manikin, he went up to one of
the tallest and handsomest of them, - and sitruCk
her a sudden 'blow on the Stomach. She
eel
lapsed with the pain. and. before s h e could re
cover, he caught her by the neck and gave her
the dreaded kiss. The" Sultan kept his word,
and the toll beauty is now the *nether of. the
dwarl's-children;l „,—'—
ANICCDOTgi gotml 111110010
is current about the first interview between
Victoria -rind"" - Louis Napoleen,',at Windsor.
When thtir*eucit party- had retired to, their
a put ttnent, twin ess .Eugcnie retuarkediliatthe
Q„neen, making every allowance' for the Gnelph
features, was not at till hand:mune; but lialte%
loon replied sternly : 4.She has soven children."
At the some time Prince . Albert expresSed his
admiration of Eugenie's-beauty to the Queen,
and Victoria turned proudly around, saying
"She ham no children l" : •
.
A PEOIII,Km SOLVER...--SIMOO ' , Pierson, an
early Nettler in Cienesstie county; N. Y., io'him
"Reminiscences" solve amusing. anee
dot' !Jere is one ; ,!, , ,About four wiles Wen
of the river we' came to log tavern kept 'by
Major Sini - th. -- lierti- we futtild - s - strialt - 7nom
with u large vote. Says ;Major Swith' to the
small man, *Js. that women your wife I"
-Yes, sir," was the' reply. Says the Major.
"flow did you get across the river 1 I should
suppose that wife Weuld have mink the . old
canoe:" "Oh." said . the little Luau, “I went
twice for her'" , • , ,
_AN ILL- 15FU MAN.—SillitheTS MIS telling us
of fioittu of his trials. Ile had been shipwreck
ed once, was burned out. twice. and had to pay
the notes of three of his filen& fer whom he
ad endorsed 'fell throe 'h a num-tra • in the
sidewalk slid broke a kg, was arrest••' .y tni
Sherilf on his tustriage for a debt be didn't
ow•e ; but all them" evils he bore without our
inuring. The great trial of his life was that
his with wouldn't let - him anioke in the parlor.
17 - " Mother," said Mrs. Partington's
•here's a word in this ere paper I can't make
out."
..Spell it, child," eutid the old lady.
..S•a-g !"
"Sage Nits, sonny, what does it say at. int
,em?'
"It says that they started in old Kentucky,
and are spreading all over."
" Dear on us said the old lady, ' , the world
must be comini to an end . ! Uhiniz•bugs, cut
worms, and locusts, was bad eamlf ; but here
must come the filthy things, the sage nits! No
hashengers for this year, Isaac 1 ." and Mrs.
Pei tington sighed.
(0 - Frank Alartyatt, in his "Mountains and
Molehills." tells a story of an old Judge in
California, who WON an habitual frequenter of
the bar-room, and who. , with his rich mellow
voice, vsould exclaim to the crowd— •
-Come. let's all take a drink !" •
Gladly the :oafere would surround the bar,
and each would call for his favorite heventge
.but when all was finished, the Judge would
observe—
"And now let's AM, PAT PON rr !" which the
loafers would sorrowfully du. and then retire
wiser men,
'Dan Marble tells a story about a
kee tailor, who was dunning a min for the
amount of his bill. The nian said he "was
sorry'," very sorry, very sorry indeed, that he
couldn't pay it.
"Well," said the pther, _.4.1 took you for a
man that• would be sorry, but if you are
sorrier than I atn, then I'll quit." - -
f . '"Do you keep matches I" asked a young
wag. of a retailer.
••Oh yes, all kinds," was the reply.
then, I'll take a trotting match."
The retailer immediately handed him a box
of Brandreth's.
nature. man derives everything.
- The spider tau ,ht him-wea-ving-t-the-fish-f
nished the idea of a boat ; the swan, the pleas
ing model of the sail ; the palm led to the
erection of the pillar ; the skin of brutes gave
us the idea of dress ; and the cocoa-nut led to
the Neer-jug. The taN on woo! alone apvears
to he pin ely a human invention.
TWO DOLLARS A-YEAR„'
Troia the tiormaatotrik Telegraph.
Cost oijitanures;
Ida. Panes :-..Very many farmers cultivate
—or rather pretend to cultivate—their lands
without deriving any profit from them. sod all
because they are without m a n ur e ! 'N ow ,
hold it to he a fact susceptible of the clearest
proof, that rather than go on, year after year,
in this way, a farmer had better raise money
on mortgage, and purchase fertilisers for his
lands which wilt return him double interest the
drat feli.oll, besides no small quantity of vain. -:,
able material of which to manufacture manure
for the next, and for the subsequent years.
When s farm has become so completely es-
Learned by injudicious management or exces
sive over-cropping, as not. to defray, by its pro.
duct., the expenses necessarily inVolved in car.
tying 'ten, all hopes in resusitating it through
its own resources may as well be relinquished
et once, for if indulged they will prove vision
ary, and the em? Of the dreamer who entertains
them, be worse than his first. Under such eir
ctimatences. money upended in efficient fend
isers will prove a profitable investment. Tice
question in , such cases should be, "Will one
dollar laid out in niontire, produce more than
one dollarstrd six rents. in produce after deduct..
ing expenses of cultivation, &c? IT SILL. Noy,
more. wo assert,aud without any fear of con
tradiction, that every dollar so laid out—pro
vided the manure be judiciously , applied and
the crop Well 'worked. will return both princi
pal and interest the first year, over arid above
all necessary expenses, and leave the land in a
good condition fora sneceeding crop. &Sides
ibis it will: also furnish , material of which pato
mire can he manufactured at home.
This we lave frequently seen illestritted; slid
yet. Many farmers exclattri, when advisedAtir
purctunzer manure fur the fertilisation of lands
annually running them in debt—that they arse .
.-ti,o poor ;".. Their surplus funds, if they pos.'
Kiss any, are invested in the atocks, or
loaned out on 1110titage. which' theytoturider
much safer and more lucrative niethed
posingof it. than investing it in the soil. Any
person may soon tonvinee himself of.the error
of this policy, wholrill but *spend tettiktibulC,
in Becd - teeeerer Pm' apply (be icalU9'o lll "
part of his at) m in ,lidditzelie the 11ea5,44
ordinaviltappliet. -
4eit tae lovas additional-quantities crittia, -
bete Will produce sit exerr3 mop abase its cost a ,,
and the cost of culture * just tiO long can the'
owner *font ter purchaat itt when this 'fault
ceases to be, rcalitied., then it Wilt bajada:lmm: :
to stop, for the soil may - then heiregarded 11 4 4
suflicremly fertile for ell practical pnrposis,stid
farther enciplicv Wool& tend toditninWrath
er than increase the autount of era*. ..Firaters
who harp poor and. emaieuiated tende;4 4l ..T 44 :-
reflotopon these things.
A PRACTICAL FARMER. •
.1711 M Retile Farm, Jugual ifttiBtitb.
t.' A fully developed sbd '6ooiid pbysic~t con
stitatfon. , ' •
2.. A of deanlinew and -,nestness of
perism t►nd dres"..l i ,
courteotis`deaiisheiso s tliaoi,ll; ;pa=
itnefrittarrilsid
-4. A"natnral orsequiretton*ss,ibrAik... ,
dren.
.„
5, Familiarity. with *II branc4w3 taught*,
-the schcal.
6. A mind syntematiosily insirtteted,-nnoi-A
listed by pew!' tuodeivot nd tite
from eccentricities and csptiee.
.j.. Powe r uf concentrating thought upon - fny
given - subject, o(pureitiing a train eitineestftia.
tionF r _vii)tioOt wavetingand Of iseefiringfi tro*:
resu lt. - P'rU'
8. Should belli#lipgai.she4 - for : l# love, 4:pf '
•.?
der. - _ . _ •
9. Apt to teach, or ready to it4art instruc
tion to children.'
10. Ability to , secure their, attention, and to
develop and improve tlie faculties of children. •
Should have $ just sea* otthe , inipor--
towel' his labors,s congeiottanesii.Athieh
not auffer;hitn to test content., with only •a par
tial ni
.perTorance.
12. Should be firm in principle ; tout kind•
and elatitable in Ws judgments of ads And
•
'` 13. Should be placable and ready to forgive.'
on the.txhibition of - penitence arid ;►urpose of
reformation. „ "
14. Should discriminate. in his treatment of
children of different, temperaments and habit.
. 15. Should be able, without perturbation, to
administer all imitable and appropriate disci-,
pline.--//on. D. M. Camp in “11:xcelstof.."
CARUIFD RUB Jose TOO Fan---The Toronto
(Canada) Patriot says:
•Two Americans, on Wednesday morning,
wishing to stcure s free patiage from London
to Niagara, received a small bounty, and en.
listed to serve in the Foreign Legion. They
were furnished with free tickets through to
Niagara, and immediately left on the cars for
that place ; but the recruiting officer, bearing
of their intention to stop at Paris. fake the
'Buffalo and Brantfort railway, and get their
passage free to the land of liberty, gave notice
to die conductor by telegraph to keep an eye
on the gentlemen. When at Paris they at
tempted to carry out their designs, but were
arrested and caviled on. Probably they will
see Sebastopol before they return. They were
respectable in appe.krance, but carried the joke
a kale too far."
AN EXTRAORDINARY Vim—A citizen of
Louisville informs the New York ((airier
that Louisville has no military twee, and that
this was the causeof the little efficiency shown
by the Mayor of that cit Von the awful day of
the riot. nits certainly is a rather , singular
Go. Ai American (qv !Re Louisville, of
some seventy thousand inhabitants, without a
single military corps in regular organisation.
It is at variance with all idea of the American
character. It appears that some years ago
military miring% required by a law of the
State, had the effect of breaking up the volun
teer companies, with the exception of a few
German organizations, mul these. on the com
mencement of the Know• Nothing movement,
also disbanded, and surrendered their arms to
the State, so that when the riot commenced it
was found that, with the exception of a single
piece of ordnance a& twelve or fourteen muss
kets to guard it, there was no inilitmy Wee in
the city.
_ TAX GMAT lINDKRTAKING thocurt..4llllPeo
cific Railroad was opened on the 6th hit." lei
due celebra i ion, cannon-firing and epee& mai
ing. to the city of Hermann; situated on the
Islo.t.sottri riser. at a distance by the route of
elght)-oue milts from St. bulls. 1410. ,
M
NO. '5O.
~ '~y'
„,d{ ~
OM